hehosts

[hehosts]

okay, so here’s kind of the deal after a lot of thought — i love this blog, this cast, and it’s almost painful to admit that my time is done here. i will still be on @grievedifferent and @pavlovianpanic, but it’s time to retire hehosts. there are a lot of reasons for this, id be happy to explain privately as publicly won’t really change anything. all posts will be deleted soon, the manga will be published this year on our site, so my closing statement would be i enjoyed my five years here, and i suppose i leave it that these characters are canon and thus can now be written by others as they’ll be published soon and are considered canon in the con and art circuit world as they know the progress and updates while understanding making a good manga takes a lot of time (and is generally your only job). if you want to write with me on my other blogs, great! if not, thank you for your time. you can unfollow as ill be just massively mitigating out followers over time (i have started this). thank you!

[hehosts]

Wait what happened?? Why is this blog now inactive? I don’t understand what’s going on

I won’t be posting anything else about this as I’ve been getting a lot of asks and messages, so this is the one I’ll use to clarify:

Theft primarily (stealing right in front of my face or block evading me for a while to unblock me to either watch or follow after), lack of interest overall as duplicates arise / interest comes up with duplicates are less active / also my lack of sexual content has decreased interest immensely versus when I had a sexier aesthetic, harassment on my ideas / writing / even my looks (even so far as to harass me for being ugly but writing handsome characters bc people do not understand I am not these characters and do not understand a lot of these characters had either plastic surgery or supernatural facelifts like ……), and outright telling me that I have ideas that are “better written by others”. I can turn off anon, but I know these are mutuals and friends of mutuals. How do I trust my dash? And that’s only half of what I’ve gotten over the years. I could go on. Don’t get me started on the Goro stuff. It isn’t one person btw. It’s many over many years now.

That’s all I can say further, it was a good time ……. but a bittersweet time with a lot of bitter. I don’t get this like anywhere else, only here, and I want to have fun again. I’m sorry. I wish I could understand. But I have given permission to write them without having to hide now. I have submitted on the roleplay front, but not the manga front.

Best of luck.

[hehosts]

okay, so here’s kind of the deal after a lot of thought — i love this blog, this cast, and it’s almost painful to admit that my time is done here. i will still be on @grievedifferent and @pavlovianpanic, but it’s time to retire hehosts. there are a lot of reasons for this, id be happy to explain privately as publicly won’t really change anything. all posts will be deleted soon, the manga will be published this year on our site, so my closing statement would be i enjoyed my five years here, and i suppose i leave it that these characters are canon and thus can now be written by others as they’ll be published soon and are considered canon in the con and art circuit world as they know the progress and updates while understanding making a good manga takes a lot of time (and is generally your only job). if you want to write with me on my other blogs, great! if not, thank you for your time. you can unfollow as ill be just massively mitigating out followers over time (i have started this). thank you!

[hehosts]

a little moodboard for that man / currently "watanabe goro"

[hehosts]

can you believe the “my dad is host?!” universe will have existed for five years on tumblr next month, wow

[hehosts]

WATANABE GORO: THE BOSS / THE DEVIL ( mutuals may reblog )

[hehosts]

goro is very used to “imitators” — creatures and things and people who desperately want to be him / be like him. do not be fooled, he would warn. they can be whatever they want — but they will never be That Man.

[hehosts]

ren’s new year consists of doing more errands for that man

[hehosts]

❝ you uncovered my lies? you mean the details of my personal life?! those aren't lies, @ottersden! those are just ... just things about me you never needed to know to begin with. about me and hina, about kyosuke, about my mother ... those are all things about me that are private! you decided they were lies, sho. do you know everything about satoshi? haru? no?? do you ... do you plan to? ❞

[hehosts]

ren might be a lot of things but we must remember his is an amazing pianist

[hehosts]

to goro, ji-hun and deng are just little dolls he plays with. probably true for most anyone meets … but rn, those are his favorite “dolls”.

[hehosts]

look at him, what a monster

[hehosts]

i miss deng, my hyena man

[hehosts]

❝ ji-hun, ❞ says the rabbit over his shoulder, locking the doors for the evening. ah, it's not evening anymore, is it? ❝ i suppose i should have been expecting you. waiting long? ❞

❝ long enough. ❞

❝ hm. ❞ click! he steps back, adjusting his tie before loosening it. no need for that now, i suppose. ❝ you always say that. don't you get tired of this? surely, you have to do something better with your time? ❞

❝ no. this is what i do with my time ... until i'm told otherwise. you know that, rabbit. ❞

❝ ren. although, shining! is closed now. am i yori to you here? ❞

❝ never. ❞

❝ ah. ❞ ren holds his briefcase today, carrying paperwork, receipts, and payrolls. ❝ i see. i'm going home now. are you going to follow me, ji-hun? ❞

a bristling pause. ❝ yes. ❞

this is where ji-hun typically transitions into the shadows to taunt ren until he shuts the apartment door to drown out that terrible hissing. instead, he does not. when ren steps forward, so does ji-hun, and from there, they mimic each other down the street and around the corner. hook a right here.

❝ you don't normally escort me home. am i trouble? ❞ ren is not so teasing as he is tense. ji-hun makes him uncomfortable.

good, thinks ji-hun. i want him to be.

❝ you're always in trouble, ren. ❞

❝ i suppose that's true. if i wasn't, you wouldn't have any reason to follow me, would you? ❞

❝ that's correct. in fact, out of all my charges, you are the most ... boring. ❞

❝ you've been following me long enough. it was bound to get boring eventually. not many of us live very exciting lives, ji-hun. not like you. ❞

❝ some would argue your life is too exciting. for me, though, it is what it is. your life is your problem. i'm just here to make sure you stay on the course. that you don't forget who you are or what you owe. ❞

❝ yes, you're very good with numbers, ji-hun. ❞ ren looks away. his attempts to joke with the serpentine man have never floated well, always sinking like stones. they keep even pace to each other, ren pulling out a cigarette that ji-hun eventually lights for him at busy crosswalk. ❝ thanks. ❞

he eyes the lighter ji-hun uses, a silverplated thing engraved with a kanji that looks almost familiar, though it's hard to tell in the dark, and it's terribly etched out, but still ... i know that name.

ji-hun lights his own cowboy killer, leaving it loose between his lips.

it's very rude, ren should remind him, to walk while smoking.

but the streets are dark, no one is really around, and ren figures no one will give him a hard time if ji-hun is with him.

who in their right mind would hassle him? i'm sure the police even know to stay away. i wonder if that's why i've always been so lucky to avoid them.

❝ ji-hun. ❞

❝ hm? ❞

❝ ... why are you walking me home? know something i don't? ❞

❝ you know very little compared to me, boy. you could live a hundred lives ... and you still would have lifetimes to go. ask yourself: why does anyone do anything? ❞

❝ i ... i don't know. i suppose the reasons are varied? ❞

❝ then any reason should be good enough for you. ❞

❝ that ... i don't think ... ❞ but there seems to be little room for arguing, and ren has learned better than to contend with the man who holds the taser. ❝ right. ❞

❝ we're here. go upstairs, ren. see your son. take care of your family. sleep on all those reasons why, if you must. it doesn't matter. ❞

ji-hun stares hard at him for a moment, as if seeing him for the first time, only to recognize nothing. no, not nothing; just almost something.

when i look at him, thinks ji-hun, i see someone who is not myself ... and is not her, either. so, why is it, then, when i am in that room with all those men that are and are not myself ... does it always end with you, ren?

❝ then, ❞ ren begins, snubbing out his cigarette before tossing it in the nearest trash, ❝ i guess i'll see you tomorrow. the same as always. hm. will you walk me home again, ji-hun? like this? ❞

❝ no. don't get used to it. ❞ but i will see you home, boy. the same as i do every night. how many nights you would have been smeared on the pavement if not for my interference ... and that interference is only acted upon as the will of that man, and nothing more. that being said, that man would argue that those events were some of the truest acts of free will ji-hun has committed since that woman. actions have consequences, ji-hun. ❝ until tomorrow. ❞

[hehosts]

we can agree ren needs to do this hair, yes??

[hehosts]

Adapted from Homer, The Iliad

[hehosts]

just to be clear bc while im on mobile i noticed a couple people have me blocked on grievedifferent and not here (mutuals here, used to be on my old blog but now im blocked there and not here?), idk if thats intentional but i am grievedifferent (formerly lifesliced) and also pavlovianpanic — im super transparent about that so im not blocking here in case it was a mistake but that is me, i am them, we are one