hehosts

[hehosts]

 Hotaru no Yomeiri | Firefly Wedding by Oreco Tachibana – Chapter 42: Together 

[hehosts]

okay, so im going to bed here shortly because i have a lot i actually have to do tomorrow, ive been so sick that i haven't been able to do much of anything other than be online (mostly here and at my horror blog @pavlovianpanic) - so my activity will die down a bit both ic and ooc over tomorrow through the weekend, and we're leaving for a show immediately next week. since we were so sick, we have a lot to try and do before that show, and i also have to get my car look at tomorrow rip so a lot of my activity from tomorrow onward through animate raleigh will be mobile. it takes like three to four days to drive to east coast for me since we don't stop like at all except to sleep, then we have to set up, check in, do the show, and do that drive back. east coast shows drain me bc of the travel. but we have i think only one other show in feb aside from a small weekend trip for otter's birthday in jan, so jan-feb will have a lot more time for writing.

[hehosts]

❝ ji-hun, ❞ says the rabbit over his shoulder, locking the doors for the evening. ah, it's not evening anymore, is it? ❝ i suppose i should have been expecting you. waiting long? ❞

❝ long enough. ❞

❝ hm. ❞ click! he steps back, adjusting his tie before loosening it. no need for that now, i suppose. ❝ you always say that. don't you get tired of this? surely, you have to do something better with your time? ❞

❝ no. this is what i do with my time ... until i'm told otherwise. you know that, rabbit. ❞

❝ ren. although, shining! is closed now. am i yori to you here? ❞

❝ never. ❞

❝ ah. ❞ ren holds his briefcase today, carrying paperwork, receipts, and payrolls. ❝ i see. i'm going home now. are you going to follow me, ji-hun? ❞

a bristling pause. ❝ yes. ❞

this is where ji-hun typically transitions into the shadows to taunt ren until he shuts the apartment door to drown out that terrible hissing. instead, he does not. when ren steps forward, so does ji-hun, and from there, they mimic each other down the street and around the corner. hook a right here.

❝ you don't normally escort me home. am i trouble? ❞ ren is not so teasing as he is tense. ji-hun makes him uncomfortable.

good, thinks ji-hun. i want him to be.

❝ you're always in trouble, ren. ❞

❝ i suppose that's true. if i wasn't, you wouldn't have any reason to follow me, would you? ❞

❝ that's correct. in fact, out of all my charges, you are the most ... boring. ❞

❝ you've been following me long enough. it was bound to get boring eventually. not many of us live very exciting lives, ji-hun. not like you. ❞

❝ some would argue your life is too exciting. for me, though, it is what it is. your life is your problem. i'm just here to make sure you stay on the course. that you don't forget who you are or what you owe. ❞

❝ yes, you're very good with numbers, ji-hun. ❞ ren looks away. his attempts to joke with the serpentine man have never floated well, always sinking like stones. they keep even pace to each other, ren pulling out a cigarette that ji-hun eventually lights for him at busy crosswalk. ❝ thanks. ❞

he eyes the lighter ji-hun uses, a silverplated thing engraved with a kanji that looks almost familiar, though it's hard to tell in the dark, and it's terribly etched out, but still ... i know that name.

ji-hun lights his own cowboy killer, leaving it loose between his lips.

it's very rude, ren should remind him, to walk while smoking.

but the streets are dark, no one is really around, and ren figures no one will give him a hard time if ji-hun is with him.

who in their right mind would hassle him? i'm sure the police even know to stay away. i wonder if that's why i've always been so lucky to avoid them.

❝ ji-hun. ❞

❝ hm? ❞

❝ ... why are you walking me home? know something i don't? ❞

❝ you know very little compared to me, boy. you could live a hundred lives ... and you still would have lifetimes to go. ask yourself: why does anyone do anything? ❞

❝ i ... i don't know. i suppose the reasons are varied? ❞

❝ then any reason should be good enough for you. ❞

❝ that ... i don't think ... ❞ but there seems to be little room for arguing, and ren has learned better than to contend with the man who holds the taser. ❝ right. ❞

❝ we're here. go upstairs, ren. see your son. take care of your family. sleep on all those reasons why, if you must. it doesn't matter. ❞

ji-hun stares hard at him for a moment, as if seeing him for the first time, only to recognize nothing. no, not nothing; just almost something.

when i look at him, thinks ji-hun, i see someone who is not myself ... and is not her, either. so, why is it, then, when i am in that room with all those men that are and are not myself ... does it always end with you, ren?

❝ then, ❞ ren begins, snubbing out his cigarette before tossing it in the nearest trash, ❝ i guess i'll see you tomorrow. the same as always. hm. will you walk me home again, ji-hun? like this? ❞

❝ no. don't get used to it. ❞ but i will see you home, boy. the same as i do every night. how many nights you would have been smeared on the pavement if not for my interference ... and that interference is only acted upon as the will of that man, and nothing more. that being said, that man would argue that those events were some of the truest acts of free will ji-hun has committed since that woman. actions have consequences, ji-hun. ❝ until tomorrow. ❞

[hehosts]

❝ ji-hun, ❞ says the rabbit over his shoulder, locking the doors for the evening. ah, it's not evening anymore, is it? ❝ i suppose i should have been expecting you. waiting long? ❞

❝ long enough. ❞

❝ hm. ❞ click! he steps back, adjusting his tie before loosening it. no need for that now, i suppose. ❝ you always say that. don't you get tired of this? surely, you have to do something better with your time? ❞

❝ no. this is what i do with my time ... until i'm told otherwise. you know that, rabbit. ❞

❝ ren. although, shining! is closed now. am i yori to you here? ❞

❝ never. ❞

❝ ah. ❞ ren holds his briefcase today, carrying paperwork, receipts, and payrolls. ❝ i see. i'm going home now. are you going to follow me, ji-hun? ❞

a bristling pause. ❝ yes. ❞

this is where ji-hun typically transitions into the shadows to taunt ren until he shuts the apartment door to drown out that terrible hissing. instead, he does not. when ren steps forward, so does ji-hun, and from there, they mimic each other down the street and around the corner. hook a right here.

❝ you don't normally escort me home. am i trouble? ❞ ren is not so teasing as he is tense. ji-hun makes him uncomfortable.

good, thinks ji-hun. i want him to be.

❝ you're always in trouble, ren. ❞

❝ i suppose that's true. if i wasn't, you wouldn't have any reason to follow me, would you? ❞

❝ that's correct. in fact, out of all my charges, you are the most ... boring. ❞

❝ you've been following me long enough. it was bound to get boring eventually. not many of us live very exciting lives, ji-hun. not like you. ❞

❝ some would argue your life is too exciting. for me, though, it is what it is. your life is your problem. i'm just here to make sure you stay on the course. that you don't forget who you are or what you owe. ❞

❝ yes, you're very good with numbers, ji-hun. ❞ ren looks away. his attempts to joke with the serpentine man have never floated well, always sinking like stones. they keep even pace to each other, ren pulling out a cigarette that ji-hun eventually lights for him at busy crosswalk. ❝ thanks. ❞

he eyes the lighter ji-hun uses, a silverplated thing engraved with a kanji that looks almost familiar, though it's hard to tell in the dark, and it's terribly etched out, but still ... i know that name.

ji-hun lights his own cowboy killer, leaving it loose between his lips.

it's very rude, ren should remind him, to walk while smoking.

but the streets are dark, no one is really around, and ren figures no one will give him a hard time if ji-hun is with him.

who in their right mind would hassle him? i'm sure the police even know to stay away. i wonder if that's why i've always been so lucky to avoid them.

❝ ji-hun. ❞

❝ hm? ❞

❝ ... why are you walking me home? know something i don't? ❞

❝ you know very little compared to me, boy. you could live a hundred lives ... and you still would have lifetimes to go. ask yourself: why does anyone do anything? ❞

❝ i ... i don't know. i suppose the reasons are varied? ❞

❝ then any reason should be good enough for you. ❞

❝ that ... i don't think ... ❞ but there seems to be little room for arguing, and ren has learned better than to contend with the man who holds the taser. ❝ right. ❞

❝ we're here. go upstairs, ren. see your son. take care of your family. sleep on all those reasons why, if you must. it doesn't matter. ❞

ji-hun stares hard at him for a moment, as if seeing him for the first time, only to recognize nothing. no, not nothing; just almost something.

when i look at him, thinks ji-hun, i see someone who is not myself ... and is not her, either. so, why is it, then, when i am in that room with all those men that are and are not myself ... does it always end with you, ren?

❝ then, ❞ ren begins, snubbing out his cigarette before tossing it in the nearest trash, ❝ i guess i'll see you tomorrow. the same as always. hm. will you walk me home again, ji-hun? like this? ❞

❝ no. don't get used to it. ❞ but i will see you home, boy. the same as i do every night. how many nights you would have been smeared on the pavement if not for my interference ... and that interference is only acted upon as the will of that man, and nothing more. that being said, that man would argue that those events were some of the truest acts of free will ji-hun has committed since that woman. actions have consequences, ji-hun. ❝ until tomorrow. ❞

[hehosts]

i am hehosts once again, so all my links also work again

[hehosts]

the only miracle child i celebrate is ren

[hehosts]

@ottersden ig he’s your man now but that’s also why you write him so it comes full circle

[hehosts]

Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “State of Emergency”

[hehosts]

Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “Peaches”

[hehosts]

Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “Growing Up”

[hehosts]

Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “Wood Frog”

[hehosts]

Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “These Days People Are Really Selling Me on California”

[hehosts]

he understands ending an era. he has ended many. in all, he has fit to the aesthetic, the culture, and the time, but lately, over many decades, he has been much the same. black on black; a suit, gloves, and well-armed. as for his hair?

it hasn't been long since back then. when it had to be. i broke free of those traditions many years ago. this style suits me best.

❝ i think you're like a chameleon. so, does it matter? you won't stay that way for long, i'm sure. ❞ a beat. ❝ it's fine. i'm ambivalent between the two. the way you were before was acceptable. ❞

he follows, finding condolence in the familiarity of finding his seat. her hand on his arm is not unexpected, one he entertains only for the short briefness of it, and because it merely looks the part of man / woman walking to the bar. while he makes an impression, he is not there to be noticed, and so to fit in is almost his intention. the rabbit knows i'm here, like i said. that's all that matters. those stupid bastards know better than to act too amiss when i'm around ... but know better than to involve me in their foolishness. ah, but if they are fools, then what is ji-hun if not the caretaker of fools, thus a fool himself?

❝ he orders fine wine. his taste is certainly experienced enough ... for such a short life. hm. ❞

though, compared to ji-hun, ren's tongue is very inexperienced. he has savored little in comparison to what ji-hun has encountered, and where ren would enjoy, ji-hun merely indulges because he can. taste is still there, but the fullness is not necessary.

i am always full, he reasons, and i am never thirsty.

he does these things because they are natural. after all, they are human, and arguably, he supposes, deng is always hungry. does that beg more questions than answers? or does it merely imply what seems to be known?

two sides, same coin. the right and left only come together when the hands press to prayer pose, enacting a deal. we do what we must. otherwise, there is no reason for us to stay together long. we work better apart. ah! another lie. they work best together.

❝ whiskey. ❞ he hails the young haru from his mad scramblings, their connection oddly familiar as he orders the rookie to serve them quickly as they take their respective seats. is her hand still on his arm? he's trying not to notice. ❝ then get back to it, son. you wouldn't want to keep the rabbit waiting. you know he has his eye on you ... his little protege. ❞

a snort as haru cowers. however, he is willing to provide, and their drinks are presented with shaking hands that wring together in further nervousness. i'm not going to hurt you, haru. you know i can't.

❝ that's all, boy. leave us. ❞

and he does, quickly at that, though haru lingers only for a moment as if to get some sort of secret affirmation. from ji-hun. with a simple nod, haru is out of their sight, back to the door to keep customer retention at an orderly flow, and hosting when he's called for.

❝ if you're really here for the festivities, he's gone well over budget. order a dessert. ❞

⋆˙⟡♡ right hand raised, slender fingers decorated by dozens of golden rings are used to cover her smile. perhaps to muffle her laugh, too. he wasn't wrong - the establishment wasn't one she'd call home but she knew its atmosphere enough to feel comfortable. it was almost similar to the palace. almost. ❝ you shouldn't let ren hear you say that. ❞

⋆˙⟡♡ he asks about her changes - points them out, rather, but he claims not to care about the reason. he still asked. if her pride hadn't been in the way, she might've just decided not to answer but she offers a thoughtful hum in response no matter. ❝ something about closing out a chapter in my life, i suppose. ending the year on a different note this time around . . i've never cut my hair this short before. do you think it fits me? ❞

⋆˙⟡♡ eyes akin to wine flick away from him momentarily, casting a glance toward the part. she didn't mind a crowd but it'd make conversation hard . . at least the end was empty enough. heels click softly to the floor when she steps forward, left hand snaking across his forearm in a gentle tug against his clothing. pulling him lightly but only for a moment, ensuring he'd follow. ❝ what do you usually drink? i think i'll have wine ~ ❞

[hehosts]

this actually isn't ji-hun or goro believe it or not, it's another oc entirely in a subverse of that oc where he is more "in control" of his life and his family's company (rich boy one percenter problems), but you can see i follow an aesthetic for bad boys. i think deng is a true oddity here. i wish this oc was as cool in his normal verse but he's actually a huge coward and his hair is more stylized to have bangs, etc. anyway, i just like that this is very ji-hun / goro-esque to me, because arguably ji-hun is ... formed in an image that goro seems to like? based off his original image, altered to fit what goro wants. anyways enjoy more old otter art, she's truly a queen artist and she's only gotten more skilled as time goes on (this has to be circa like 2016 or something)

[hehosts]

❝ shining! is no place to call home. ❞ if there is tension between the cat and hare, he's seemed to have overlooked it. matters of ren's heart mean little to the cobra. ❝ you've changed. why? ❞

it's only taken him so long to acknowledge it out of the assumption she might prompt him.

❝ you are who you are. hiding? or just bored? maybe neither. i don't really care, you know? you don't have to tell me. ❞

when she offers a drink, he figures she wants to go the bar, which is seemingly full, though the corner remains empty. there is an air when ji-hun is around that his seat is reserved, and the one next to his usual has just opened up. how convenient.

he takes a look at the faces around him. how many, he wonders, could be that man right now, watching him as he watches them?

watching me ... watching you ... watching me. watching all of us.

❝ i'll have my own, ❞ he says, and he knows what she means, ❝ but we can drink together. ❞

⋆˙⟡♡ it was difficult not to laugh when he moved his head; when the bells jingle. she wonders, just for a moment, how he'd react if she tried to take a picture on her phone? only for safe keeping, of course. definitely not to show off later and laugh about - no, never !!

⋆˙⟡♡ the feline tilts her head, a curious hum rising in her throat akin to the rolling bubbles of champagne 'gainst the flute glass. ❝ maybe you don't need to fit in, but it doesn't hurt to either. ❞ it was definitely far more entertaining to speak with him when he had a pair of fuzzy antlers on his head, that went without saying. though perhaps it was only funny to her . . he was a good sport, still. he didn't rip them off immediately, that was progress.

⋆˙⟡♡ shoulders rise slow, shrugging with a brief aversion from her eyes. a glance over her shoulder toward the direction in which ren was . . truthfully, she hadn't spoken to him in a while. even tonight, she didn't greet him or try getting his attention. she wonders if he even knew she was here; she's cut her hair and dyed it since they last saw one another, after all. it was funny - strangers sharing history. ❝ i'm here for the atmosphere, the drinks don't hurt either. ❞ her eyes find their way back to him then, fixating in a half-lidded stare. ❝ share one with me? ❞

[hehosts]

ji-hun has spent nine christmas eves / days / nights with ren. i have a feeling they will not make it to their tenth.