#th: only friends

[khaopybara]

bibi's favorite firstkhao kisses

anonymous: I wanted to ask, what is your top 10 favorite FirstKhao kisses?

+ honorable mentions we should never forget about.

[khaopybara]

Thank you for tagging me! This is a first, so excuse me while I probably write a bunch of nonsense.

I must say, right, coming in, I already had my favorites, but as we're in episode 6 already, I'm impressed to see that some of the rankings switched.

1 - RAY

I wish I could say this is unexpected, but since fandom became a part of my life back in like 2013, I've noticed that I have an inclination to liking underdogs and misunderstood characters. He has a lot of faults (way too many, and I excuse most of them. I am a Ray Apologist, after all), but he's such a compelling character and he makes you want to root for him to get better and do better and feel better. He's such a layered character and there's quite a bit that I relate to him in different levels, too. I love how he's messy and he knows he's an asshole, but he owns up to his shit. I also think that what caught me off guard with Ray is how communicative he is. Yes, he's a mess, but he asks Sand all the time if he's okay with their arrangement, how he's feeling, if he has any questions for him. He's also loyal, and despite not being a good friend necessarily, he values his relationships (except when he's on a murder spree as we've seen in his attempt to sever the bridges between him and his friends) and cares for them.

(When he tells Top he has been taking great care of HIS Mew, or when he tells Mew that he's okay that he's not the person who can given him (Mew) happiness, I totally believe him. The SA when Mew slept over at his place? I don't think there was a single part of him that believed that would make Mew realize his dormant feelings for him, but an attempt to sort his own shit out).

I could seriously go on and on about how much I hope he gets nice things and stop believing he's a bad luck charm, but I can't articulate that in a way that makes sense so I'll stop. Khaotung's portrayal of him is absolutely stunning and I'm loving every piece of it.

2 - BOSTON

I know, very unpopular opinion because everyone and their mothers wants to strangle this son of a bitch, but listen, he's amazing. He's manipulative, gets what he wants, the way he wants, he's charming and a vicious player. I wouldn't want him as a friend never in my life because he's an instant red flag.

Remember how I said that with Ray, I'm rooting for him to get better and do better? It's the complete opposite with Boston. I hope he gets worse. I hope he does his worst. I don't want him to have a sob background story because some people are just assholes because they can and they'll be because things work out for them that way. I love this man at the same time that I completely despise his existence. I'm also of the opinion that no one else could have played Boston and make me like him as much as I do, if it wasn't Neo playing him (this comes from someone who only watched Neo in The Eclipse, and I didn't like Khan all that much, and Vice Versa). I have this opinion for all of the cast, to be honest. The casting for this show was phenomenal.

3 - SAND

No one is surprised that Sand's high up on the list. Yes, he has showed himself as a bit shady, but so far, it seems like he has the best moral compass out of the seven of them (but honestly that's not a requirement to be high on my list. The alcoholic and addict is my number 1, and the manipulative whore is top 2). Sand is just a dude trying to get by. I think what solidified his spot for me was when he talked about what he wants to do with his life in episode 5. He wants to belong to a group and enjoy the things he likes and be able to support himself to do those things. Who can't relate to that? I want him to get those things! He's caring and attentive, but he's still sarcastic and knows how to throw back. He's not a saint, and he doesn't try to appear as one.

His only fault (besides the crippling insecurity that stops him from being direct with Ray about his feelings that is probably associated with his financial status) is that he doesn't take more people to see his mom. I have no words for Sand's mom besides she's great and gorgeous (scratch all the rest. Sand's is number 3 because I like his mom).

4 - MEW

Not gonna lie, Mew wouldn't be this high on the list if it wasn't for his bad bitch moment at the end of episode 6 and because he warned Top that he was a clingy and possessive bitch back in episode 1. I love how he knows his boundaries, though. And he calls out people for overstepping. He doesn't let others step on him. I don't think he's a bad friend, but he's a friend who doesn't know how to help and deal with the problems of his friend group. He has his own idea of how things should be and applies that to his life, and wants others to do the same (Boston to settle down and Ray not to be Ray), so it's really intriguing to me how someone with such a high opinion of themselves will approach revenge and pay back. I'm excited for Mew's bad bitch era.

5 - NICK

Oh Nick. You're such a darling. Obsessive and law breaking darling. Self-punishing and with low self-esteem darling. You're creepy, hun, and it's not only because you're super invested in having something with the likes of Boston. You're not blind to the red flags, you've seen them and decided you could handle it. Nick is such a driving force for the plot of the first part, if we think about it, since there wouldn't be an exposée if Nick didn't decide that breaking into people's belongings was a good idea. I totally believe what he tells Top about being just as bad as Boston, but he's a diluted version of his bae.

6 - CHEUM

We don't have enough of her for me to speak about Cheum and put her in a higher place, to be honest. I love how enthusiastic she is about her projects and her friends, but she's a bit too dense most of the time. I love my lesbian, and I love that she at least apologized to April and promised not to lie anymore, but her obsession with our boy Top is a bit too much. Now that I think about it, he's hot and smart, and apparently takes good care of her friend, so I can see why she thinks he's an eligible bachelor, but she lost some points for playing down Ray (saying he's too stubborn and that's why he doesn't have a lover, and when they are talking to their teacher. That's why I wasn't surprised when Ray went for her first during The Scene).

7 - TOP

I feel sorry for Top. Yes, he's a cheater, yes, he goes after people in relationships, yes, he thinks he's the best option, yes, he's excessively jealous and possessive, yes, he doesn't communicate well, but throw the first stone if you never met a jock with high self-esteem, I mean. He's very in character. But he's also very boring to me. That's it.

OF Favorites Rankings

I did this once before the series aired, but I thought it’d be fun to rank the core characters in OF in the middle of the series’ run and once more at the end.

I’m gonna tag some of my active OF moots here (and some new OF friends as well!) if any of you want to play too—no pressure at all! And of course, even if you aren’t tagged, please feel free to play along! I’m super curious to see how opinions have changed from the beginning to the middle to the end. :)

@abstractelysium @nihilisticcondensedmilk @just-gm @firstkanaphans @prapaiwife @dreamedofyou @sandrayy @fanfictionroxs @khaopybara @tiedankelstotheocean @thegalwhorants @autisticbokutoenthusiast @itsmelb @way-too-indecisive @k-white @waitmyturtles

1. Sand

Of course it was going to be Sand in first place (get it…First place?)

He might be morally dubious in Ep6, but if anything, that makes him more endearing to me (don't ask me how). If they all play dirty, he can play dirty too. Plus, he's just got the vibe. The t-shirts, the jackets, the boots, the independence. The superior music taste? Mans has it all except for money. Though tbh, the moment that solidified Sand as my favorite was when he ran after Ray at the end of Ep6--he was just dealt a personal attack by Ray in front of everyone, but he doesn't even hesitate to go after him. And that is the marker of a ✨ favorite character ✨

2. Ray

Naturally, both Sand and Ray have taken the top spots (pun intended), and it's because I have a special place in my heart for "woobified" characters (did I use that right @waitmyturtles? 😂)...and Khaotung executes his layers so beautifully. Ray did go in for a nonconsensual kiss (which he later apologized for, but I digress) and he did hash out some pretty brutal insults last episode. Irrespective of his feelings for Sand, it's indisputable that he has used him in some aspect to distract himself from Mew. So for all that, Ray is also morally dubious--but I'll use the term realistic instead.

I just want to give him a hug and tell him that he matters. Because clearly that is something he's heard only a few times in his life. And maybe if he heard it more often, we could avoid situations like the one at the end of Ep6.

3. Nick

I’m having a bit of an inner battle with myself over this one because Nick came out of the gate with some very immoral behavior, and yet I’m still putting him above Mew, because something about him is just so…pitiful. Admittedly, I've been growing more and more frustrated with him as the series goes on and he still fights for Boston's affection when Boston has proven time and time again that he just doesn't care. Boston keeps him on a rope, and in some ways I sympathize with Nick's struggles, because it isn't easy to turn the feelings off once they've already been cemented. But alas. He's digging himself further and further into this hole.

4. Mew

A lot of my gripes with Mew have been in respect to his treatment of Ray, but I go back and forth because I do understand the mental toll it must take on him. Regardless of whether or not he's responsible for helping Ray through his mental issues, as his closest friend, I think it should've been him running after Ray at the end of Ep6. Yeah, Ray said some shitty things about everybody, but Ray has only ever wanted what is best for Mew. And Mew was going to watch him run off and potentially get himself killed, even after Ray admitted what Top had done. Something about that just doesn't sit right with me.

Despite all of this, Mew does appear to be the most level-headed of the group (alongside Sand, though that was put to the test last ep). And the moment he played TopBoston’s sex audio right in Top’s ear? Phenomenal. He nailed that execution. I will laugh when he's on his revenge kick next week.

5. Cheum

Cheum is this low firstly because she doesn't get a lot of screen time, and secondly because she's made some comments that are a little questionable too. I can't remember who said it, but someone pointed out just how often she references how lucky Mew is to be with Top--which is a little strange, looking at him like he's some big prize. Also, not to bring everything back to Ray but...she contributes to the "burden" discussion quite a few times.

I do really enjoy the small snippets we've gotten of her with April. I like that they finally gave their relationship a little bit more context in Ep6. They do seem to have some pretty solid communication (at least compared to the others) so I'm pleased with that.

6. Top

I know a lot of people have felt sorry for Top. And I understand that completely. I struggle to given that he not only cheated but lied about the cheating--and likely would never have admitted to it. For Mew, someone who values communication and honesty so strongly, it's like a punch to the face. I hope Top gets what's coming to him. (Also, stealing Sand's boyfriend? Wtf dude.)

7. Boston

Not much to explain about this one--I can understand why he is some peoples' favorite for the sole reason that he is the one creating all the conflict in the first place. But he's so twisted, manipulative, and careless that I just want Mew to kick him into that pool a hundred times over. I don't expect him to rise from last place by the end, but if he does, it'll be a miracle.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Mix Sahaphap gets to perform (and has the performance chops to perform) in a style that I’ve never seen any other male actor get to embody. Mix gets to unironically play the #strongfemalecharacter. The Beatrice, the Elizabeth Bennett, the Jo March. Strong-willed, emotional, kind-hearted.

Not only do the plot points line up, but Mix, more than any BL actor I’ve seen, fully leans into the embodiment of this archetype. In his roles, he rolls his eyes, pouts, banters flirtatiously, softens his posture and expression at small details. He doesn’t over-exaggerate and imposition other characters but his face also doesn’t hold back his character’s thoughts and judgments. And when the moments arrive, he lets all the hurt and anguish pour out in shatters of tears and visible heartbreak—the star-counting scene, anyone????—in a way that harkens to the operatic emotionality of well-done melodramas, soap-operas, and their contemporary Thai equivalent of Lakorn. It’s only that these have never been men’s roles in those.

It’s no surprise that one of Mix’s roles—Cupid’s Last Wish—is explicitly a gender body-swap, and Tian in A Tale of Thousand Stars is (albeit explicitly denied within the show) heavily connected to gender body-swapping. What Mix specializes in as an actor, and does exceptionally well, has been defined as feminine. To depict a kind of queer expression in this style is novel because it’s not camp, it’s not okama, it’s not a soft or femboy, it’s not a BL twink (Mix has been mostly excluded from the schoolyards and quads of the BL universe except for a role as a senior crush in Fish Upon the Sky). It’s too sincere and too adult for any of that.

In Moonlight Chicken we get to see, without the pretense of gendered mysticism, this performance style’s seduction, warmth, wit, and explosiveness within the framework of a general gay form of expression. It says that this kind of femininity might just be a gay thing. Not all gay men exhibit it, obviously—queer men aren’t a monolith. Still, it gives us something to consider about how we observe performance of queerness on screen, especially in front of an audience that puts so much more emphasis on ships, heat, and pairing chemistry to assess how well they perform a BL role. Could we look for other features to judge performance of queerness instead of how well they kiss?

Seme and uke roles would be the major performance style categories loyal BL fans assess actors with, yet even within the archetype his character’s fill within BL narratives, Mix’s performances differ from the typical uke depiction in BL because he really doesn’t perform them as passive. Rather, Mix’s characters and his portrayal of them are dynamic and demanding. It certainly fits certain stereotypes of ukes (Gilbert!) and their gay stereotype equivalent of bottoms as pillow princesses and brats. Mix’s characters, though, have more drive, agency, and compassion than that, and he plays them with all of those currents running underneath.

We certainly have openly gay writer/director Aof Noppharnach to thank for writing this kind of queer character for Mix to play in Tian and Wen. But for Mix’s specific commitment to the performance starting off with his (debut!?) role in ATOTS, we first have Earth to thank for believing in Mix’s ability and recommending him to portray the role of Tian, and then Aof’s acceptance despite his differing initial expectations for the character. Mix, Earth, and Aof have all been open about how Mix in his personal life and nature holds a lot of similarities to both his role as Tian in ATOTS and Wen in Moonlight Chicken. Some people might knock points off his performances because he’s like them. But his relationship to the characters, rather than dampening my enthusiasm for Mix’s performances, helps me appreciate his willingness to give an authentic performance in a style that hasn’t been encouraged on screens previously. It’s made more impactful that he chose to risk vulnerability to bring something personal that had previously been excluded from screens because of its gender deviance (and in broader society explicitly condemned). This doesn’t make a claim on Mix’s actual identity, but simply shows his willingness to understand and perform the expressions of his queer characters with an effort at empathy that many other actors would feel challenged to bring.

Some actors are chameleons, but some actors have a gift of a type within which they can explore depths and range that no one else can best. For me, that’s what Mix does in his work when directors and casting understands his talent. There’s a BTS video of Mix actually fainting during a scene while in Earth/Phupa’s embrace on the mountain that immediately brought to mind the wildly famous final scene in the film Camille where Greta Garbo as Marguerite dies in her lover’s arms.

For Mix, it was a serious incident due to regrettably extreme conditions and requiring the on-set paramedics, but these levels of theatrics, for me, are emblematic of what Mix is capable of as a performer, as well. After all, he had to faint in Phupa’s arms multiple times on purpose. It’s the kinds of Old Hollywood and heightened sentimental romance realms Mix takes his performances to! Then he can turn around and make it look easy to take that same character into grounded quips or dedicated everyday tasks. It only takes writers, directors, and audiences willing to see that men can feel this way and act this way. Mix has paved the way.

[kayvsdoodles]

i miss u bird man.........bird man i miss u........

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite QL Couples* of 2024 💖✨

Welcome to Babyangelsky's 2024 Wrap Up! To commemorate my second year of watching QL dramas, and my first year of actually talking on my blog, I've compiled a series of lists to celebrate all the QL things I loved this year!

My only criteria was that the show had to have either aired entirely in 2024 or had the majority of its run in 2024. No other limits at all (except for tumblr's photo limit). Please feel free to take my categories and make lists of your own and tag me in them if you do! I'd love to see what stuck out to everyone this year 💜

💜 All the lists can be found here! 💜

Without further ado, I'm going to kick things off with my favorite couples of the year!

♡ Tongrak and Mahasamut (Love Sea)

My darlings. My absolute loves. I knew Fort and Peat were going to deliver something special when Love Sea was announced and I am so glad that I was right. My love for them is as boundless as the sea that bonds them.

♡ Almond and Latte (Knock Knock Boys)

These two snuck up on me something serious. I never expected them to be this sweet and soft and bring such comfort to each other. They were my unexpected delight this year and I'm so happy I got to watch them fall in love.

♡ Yu and Ai (I Saw You in My Dream)

These two snuck up on me too, honestly. Never ever thought I would love them as much as I do considering how late I came into this show, but I cherish them very deeply. They're the sweetest childhood friends to lovers and they love each other so much. I don't think I've ever been prouder of a confession than when Yu finally confessed to Ai.

♡ Ken, Seiji, and Japan (Deep Night)

*Not a couple, but a THROUPLE! 2024 was a year of many, many BL blessings, one of the best of which was the fact that we got CANON POLY SIDES COURTESY OF CHEEWIN! We all hoped, we all prayed, we all looked at the workshop photos and thought 'surely we cannot be wrong', and when it came right down to it, we all got exactly what we wanted! I only wish that we'd gotten more of them.

KenSeijiPan you will always be famous.

♡ Ozone and Pie (Battle of the Writers)

Speaking of wanting more, I cannot believe it took this long for Mark Sorntast to get to kiss a boy on screen but damn, was it worth the wait. I want an entire spin-off of daddy Pie and his puppy Ozone because they were truly the best part of this show.

♡ X and Namping (Every You, Every Me)

Thanks to its format, Every You, Every Me gave us lots of great couples and fun dynamics but X and Namping were my favorites, even though their story ended tragically. The love was brief but it was beautiful and real.

♡ Meiji and Freya (Deep Night)

As if giving us canon poly wasn't enough, Cheewin also decided to bless us with milf yuri and then stacked one more blessing on top and gave them their own spin-off miniseries so we could have more time watching them fall in love. They're beautiful and I love them. This is how it feels to win.

♡ Yuan and Qian (Unknown)

I can't think of anything to say about these two that doesn't involve making dying animal noises and gesturing helplessly and maybe crying so just imagine me doing that to convey how I feel about this couple BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I GOT FAM THAT'S ALL I'M CAPABLE OF I'M SURE SOME OF YA'LL UNDERSTAND

♡ Tai x Kram (Two Worlds)

These are by far my favorite roles Max and Nat have played to date. The utter soulmates of it all. The every version of me will love every version of you in every universe of it all. Perfection. I only wish the show had been longer so their love really got a chance to breathe.

♡ Anin and Pin (The Loyal Pin)

Now, if a love ever got a chance to breathe, it was this love. They made you feel it. The yearning, the joy, the sweetness, all of it. We followed it all the way from childhood and it was such a satisfying experience. I will always have a soft spot for couples that are deranged about each other, however loudly or quietly they may go about it, and my girls are no exception.

♡ Phee and Non (Dead Friend Forever)

*scream singing* WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALLLLLLLL, ROLLING IN THE DEEEEEEEEP *cries on the floor*

♡ Tan and Fang (We Are)

AouBoom are never not a delight when they're on screen together, and TanFang were a delight in a veritable sea of delights. They got together early on and spent the rest of the show giving nothing but the best most delicious established couple goodness.

♡ Muenfah and Teerak (Your Sky)

At the time of writing we've only had these two for a few weeks but that's more than enough time for their adorable sweetness to land them on this list. They're darling. The relationship may be fake (for now) but the love is real.

♡ Sun and Junior (Caged Again)

The same goes for these two, and isn't that just the surprise of the year? HOW DID THE PANTHER AND PENGUIN TURN INTO PEOPLE SHOW END UP GIVING US SUCH AN ADORABLE COUPLE?

♡ Shao Peng and Zi Xiang (See Your Love)

They're just so soft and so gentle and they make each other feel heard and understood and I love them so much. Their boyfriend era may actually kill me.

♡ Jack and Joke (Jack & Joker)

*gently shakes Yin and War* Would giving us just a little more horny, loving boyfriend era and fewer horrors have been so hard? Do ya'll think you can get away with it because you're so pretty and so beloved?

Because they are. And they can actually. And they did. I adore them.

♡ Yak and Dee (Wandee Goodday)

One of my favorite things in this life is when a fake relationship slowly turns into a real relationship and two people who think they can be casual about each other are actually completely incapable of being so. Yak and Dee gave me exactly that and I love them for it.

♡ Oyei and Cher (Wandee Goodday)

Another side couple for which I would absolutely love a spin-off, but we did get to see them have their wedding (the first GMMTV wedding since the marriage equality bill was passed!) which is just as good. The love they have for each other, the support they give each other is top tier. They have my heart.

♡ God and Diew (Monster Next Door)

If I were to give an award for amazing communication between a couple, I would absolutely be giving it to these two. It was so refreshing to see them not only love and support each other, but talk and listen to each other. They were a delight.

♡ Myung Ha and Yeo Woon (Love for Love's Sake)

They were so sweet and so sad and they saved each other by loving each other so much that it broke reality and I just love them with my entire soul.

♡ San and Vee (Century of Love)

When this was airing I talked a lot about how it didn't actually matter whether Vee was Wad or not and that what mattered was San making a choice but for the record? Vee was totally Wad. He and San were SOULMATES!

♡ Neil and Sea (First Note of Love)

What if a couple was so gentle and soft that it made you wanna cry? What if they saved each other with music? What if they made each other brave?

♡ Moo and Kang (Only Boo!)

My darling boys. My sweetest most adorable boys who make me wanna curl into a ball and cry happy tears because I adore them so much. Moo's singular desire in this life part from becoming an idol is to save up enough money to marry Kang and NOW HE CAN AND I'M IN MY FEELINGS ABOUT IT EVEN MONTHS LATER.

♡ Karan and Achi (Cherry Magic Th)

They're perfect. In every conceivable way. Their love was just so lovely, it was such a joy. Everything about it and about them was so lovely to watch.

♡ Haruki x Jin (Our Youth)

These two have so much potential to hurt me. In fact, I'm almost certain that they will. But they just --*gestures helplessly*--you know? They hit exactly right for me.

[projectjasper]

[thoughtfulchaos773]

One of my favorite scenes, big reason, is Sydney opening up and Carmy experiencing pain for Sydney.

But another thing the scene points out is they these two are not platonic. If they are the type of friends that epitomize a platonic relationship with a work family that feels closer than a family, he would know this about Sydney. Yet, he doesn’t. Syd still holds back when it comes to Carmy.

To be fair, she held back about her mom with Marcus too. But now that it’s clear that Marcus and Sydney have a platonic relationship, there’s an ease in their getting to know one another. Currently, based on what the show has presented, we see Carmy trying to get to know Sydney, who remains reserved about her mother until she can't find a way to put her guard up.

That's the dance with these two Sydney puts her guard up Carmy tries to get to know her- how is that friendship or how is that even what Donna says in season 4? That they're closer than family family?

Maybe because we are just getting started next season on Sydney and Carmy becoming closer?

But really Why is it so difficult for them to hang out and party together? Why is Carmy so hurt by the realization that in not focusing on the restaurant, he's missing out on knowinh Sydney? If it's really about friendship, why are there so many barriers preventing it from developing?

Why is there jealousy? Distrust? The longing to trust and open up instead of just doing it? Why is it so difficult for Carmy and Sydney to talk about their deceased loved ones, unlike the conversations that Natalie and Richie have, or the ones Ebra and Tina share?

Why is it so difficult for Sydney and Carmy to have a conversation like Tina and Marcus did in season 3, episode 9, where they can truly check in with each other and exchange ideas?

It's not platonic, and as of now, I have nothing to show that for Sydney work, family - Carmy is closer to her than family.

[rainybraindays]

Legitimately want Colin Harry and Albion to be besties, I need them talking about how Portia drives them up a wall, I need them trading food recs and them listening to his travel stories, i want him to help them stand up to portia bcause god do they need it. I want them going to Wills and hanging out at balls when their wives are talking to people. please give me the wife guy trio i want it SO bad

[obsob]

when ur trying to be a silly little flirty guy but your friend is too busy going through the most harrowing experiences known to man

[boiledcaprisun]

do you guys still like furries. heres furries

[bl-bracket]

Introducing the next BL Bracket: Most Whipped in a BL!!!!

Continuing our trend of rematch brackets, we will now be doing a rematch bracket for Most Whipped!!!

Is your favorite character absolute gone for their lover? Are they willing to do absolutely anything for their lover no matter what? Well, this is their time to shine!!!

Rules for entry are in the pinned post and also in the form.

Lan Wangji from The Untamed cannot be submitted as he won the first season of Most Whipped.

Submit them here!!!!

Submissions Close: 22nd of Novemeber @9 PM (GMT)

@tournament-announcer

[khaopybara]

oh no, p'jojo said kantbison are a lovers to enemies story. kantbison are doomed.

firstkhao characters whenever they have the slight attempt of animosity between the two of them:

[khaopybara]

i knew i had seen this shirt before

(this isn't relevant in any way i was just going a little cuckoo because i knew i had seen this outfit before)

Different shirt means more confessional scenes ahead? 👀

[maybe-boys-do-love]

We all need to be mentally preparing for the inevitable Our Skyy 3: Marriage edition next year

[dykedvonte]

Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.

The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.

It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.

In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.

[mirmoria]

firstkhao being married with the son (real), rising between them like the sun between two mountains in a kindergarten landscape