#tf more do they want from her like
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meeshell's webisode boils my blood for a variety of reason but top of the list HAS to be the fact that her name is meeshell fucking MERMAID and yet ashlynn briar and maddie have the nerve to look absolutely GOBSMACKED upon finding out that she's a mermaid.
it's giving H2O just add water and I am NOT enjoying it. it also very much reminds me of the "ah yes let me just ask my good friend haggravated lassault" meme.
but genuinely this webisode has to be one of the WORST ones by far and the only thing that came even remotely close to saving it was maddie and her giant cup of tea:
this image genuinely cracks me up every time it's just so fucking funny.
#eah#ever after high#meeshell mermaid#madeline hatter#maddie hatter#ashlynn ella#briar beauty#meeshell comes out of her shell#she can fucking go back in it i mean#her name is meeshell MERMAID#tf more do they want from her like#if she WASN'T a mermaid that'd be more surprising im just saying#also god bless maddie#she always manages to turn around even the worst situations#including this entire webisode#also ik ive said this before#and yes i am hating for no good reason#but im really not a fan of her singing voice
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rewatching this over and over again.. mainly bcs tarn makes soundwave into a manlet but also bcs it's hilarious
#thunderhowl at the copilot doing Absoluteky nothing then being surprised when shadowstriker is unfamiliar with the terrain: :D#i get ure a theater kid but CAN U STOP BEING SO CRYPTIC#bumblebee moving to the wall like the only smart person#optimus just wants to find the source#had to include soundwave being the bitchiest person for no reason at the end of course 🩵 mi lady#somebody help tarn bro only has one arm 😭😭#hes not even using it against a wall or anything like hes just trying to keep his balance#everybody panicking while shadowstriker doesnt give a fuck#girlboss shit she does every day and no one cares it pisses me off yall need to appreciate my mean lesbian like yall appreciate her mean gay#bestie#thunderhowl :) bcs he wants soundwave to struggle probably. i mean at the cost of others maybe risking a concussion? sure#theyre both so petty but try to act too cool to be in their own lame ways. im obsessed with them#he was hoping soundwave was gonna land in his lap 💔#somehow from all the way back there LMFAO if his terrains can defy gravity so can his beloved annoyance ok. he believes#im a filthy multishipper so i need tarn and soundwave to have more fic & kiss too bcs it's literally tarn being like I Know What You Are#(a Bttm) to soundwave and soundwave having to screw his lips into a smile & be like teehee of course.. only to be like (u forgot the Brat*)#at the end like. why are they like that. tarn holding him by the waist with 1 arm being like i got u bbgirl meanwhile hes getting#60000 concussions and soundwave is trying So hard not too laugh.. TOO loudly. (tarn thinking hes so anime protag rn)#tf cyberverse#soundwave#tarn#thunderhowl#shadowstriker#bumblebee#optimus prime#maccadam#transformers#I CANT BELIEVE I HAD ENOUGH ROOM FOR THESE TAGS!
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shut up
#transformers#maccadam#drama#i like the cover#people saying it's too 'sexy' are the problematic sexists#this same shit happened with z0ner's cover. yes i bullied her too because i believed the stupid shit you guys were saying#I MANAGED TO GROW UP BUT YOU PEOPLE ARE STILL DOING THIS TOXIC SEXIST ASS DANCE#i thought i was the bad person but honestly it's yall and your bullying asses#you're disgusting for bullying artists just because they draw women how they want#GROW UP.#I LOVE DRAWING CURVY SLIM SEXY ROBOT GIRLS#THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT#WE SHOULD FILL THE WORLD WITH MORE OF THEM BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE#IF YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING ELSE... DO IT YOURSELF!!!! MAYBE ONE DAY THE COMPANY WILL LIKE YOUR ART ENOUGH TO HAVE IT ON A COVER#i like milne's stocky arcee just as much as average arcee from TFA just as much as svelte arcee in this cover#i really thought it was me that was why i left the fandom due to my ignorance but coming back and seeing this petty ass drama you guys#are unleashing... im realising that you guys are the problematic ones. omfg#you make it so unfun to be in this fandom. might as well publish the most recent animation i was working on then take the ones i've already#finished into hiding. you people suck the joy out of drawing for transformers.#transformers was my last bastion out of depression and you guys reminded me why people shouldn't get into transformers#getting back into tf revitalized my desire to draw and held me back from suicide. but knowing how toxic environment you guys are...#there's no reason to keep living with such inhospitable negative toxic bullies.
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Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he probably very irritating, absolutely, but an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would shock me. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
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i can't tell if i'm just not paying attention or if mouthwashing just doesn't make any sense
#random thoughts#mouthwashing#watching a playthrough and am on the Big Twist so more stuff may happen or whatever#like jimmy raped anya. none of her behavior before this really like clued this in but whatever#doesn't really. add anything to the story so far. could really replace it with anything and the story would still be the same#seems like it's just there to give jimmy a reason to crash the ship#also don't like that he crashed the ship. curly crashing it made him more of a compelling character for me#like it's established he gives the same answers every time in the mental health check ups#make him like. succumb to the pressures of the job. instead of just being kind of a shitty normal boss#and like. anya doesn't want to give jimmy his check up and be alone with him while he makes up sexually deviant lies. could be foreshadowing#but she asks him to give curly his medicine. she doesn't seem to OBJECT to him becoming captain.#she was also a lot more compelling when it seemed like she was struggling due to the pressures of the job#i like swansea. reminds me of uncle billy from the outcasts of poker flat#his final where's johnny moment is kind of out of nowhere. is it because jimmy has the gun?#i doubt it's about the rape. did jimmy do something else? did swansea find out he crashed the ship?#i wish i didn't get to see curly's face before the crash. like give me some room to ponder dude#daisuke and swansea's dynamic is really fun! especially in the pre-crash scenes#my main problem with anya is she didn't have any single character to play off of. daisuke had swansea. curly had jimmy.#she's just kind of there. and miserable. and sucks at her job#also why is curly still alive??? like she killed herself in front of him but didn't take him out? tf anya#there's like 30 mins left so idk maybe some of my complaints will be rectificed. or maybe mouthwashing just isn't for me#literally my main complaint is the rape subplot so if they do something interesting with that then we're golden
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Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet
#Celtrist#cel rambles#I don't particularly care how abundant the merch is on shark robot#It literally feels like they'll take a scrap of anything and make it a pin#Like the Moxie Antartica pin Really sir and a bunch others where they're just a random frame from the show#I mean they're FUN frames at least but I swear I've seen some real random ones that don't even make sense to be a pin#AND I'M SORRY WHY DO THEY HAVE SO MUCH MERCH OF CHARACTERS THAT I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT#Sallie Mae fine I can see why people like her and want merch#Chaz is pushing it especially seeing as he's pretty dead but fine I suppose he has his fans#Glitz and Glam? Okay you already fucked up not going with their beta designs but who really was looking at them and thinking “I want merch”#But fine. I'm sure they have their fans#BUT FREAKING MUFFY?? THE VET RECEPTIONIST? WHO TF WAS ASKING FOR A PIN OF HER? DID YOU EVEN KNOW HER NAME?#They do that shit all the time and it aggravates me. They seem to go by a “quantity over quality” thing.#Which their quality is great btw but the quantity of things they have for characters that don't even matter and are seen once is rediculous#Also when I was gonna look up when we were gonna meet Vassago I saw he was an overlord in the pilot#Curious if that's gonna stay. What's to say overlords can't be hellborns or goetia#Is he a goetia? Not sure.#P-point is I like their merch and the new batch seems to mostly be uniquely made to be merch and I like that#But the amount of “garbage” (that's mean but best way I can put it) merch that has a character little to no one would care about#Or is essentially JUST a screen grab from the show is annoying and just pointlessly fills the shop pages#And while I see from a business perspective why they'd put Vassago out especially since some already like him#I also just think it's silly for him to already have merch when we haven't seen his character other than in the trailer#Surprised they don't have merch of satan out yet lol#Okay but I would've approved only so they could make a krampus joke with him#Granted I don't care about Helluva as much as Hazbin#But can't help to be more critical of it when it has a lot of problems Hazbin has aside from pacing#But absolutely NO excuse or leeway for the reason of the sloppy writing that's present#Lemme reiterate my good ol' phrase here:#You're not in the Sonic fandom for like 22 yrs and don't learn to be critical of the media you enjoy lol#rant
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argh. This comic writing is taking me way longer than usual. I keep editing things and it doesn’t feel right.
#wip#i think I finally got it#The issue is usually plots come to me formed yk#But for this one#I did have a plot but it was more related to Chil having a v bad experience and Mei hearing about it and then him telling her#Not to go thru with her plans to become involved with adventures in a sort of threatening way#So I had that all sketched out and then randomly I decided I wanted more drama#so initially I extended it and had it be that maybe she tried to hug him or something but he reacted Badly bc of his aforementioned shit#But I didn’t like that and it felt jarring and sort of…over dramatic. Too much.#So then I got rid of that. And then I was like well maybe he and Mei should actually have a conversation about it#Like he brings it up#So I wrote that and I had him get really mad at her and let that sit around for a minute bc uh-oh there’s another problem#Seee the issue with doimg multiple rewrites of something is suddenly the part that was initially meant to be the focus. Is not important#Anymore and is actually distracting from the main point#So OK I delete all that and rewrite that to make it less distracting#Still keep the important buildup in that scene but focus on Mei more bc this is a comic that’s from her pov#Ok ok yeah. I like that. But THEN#UH OH NEW PROBLEM. ! Remember that He gets really mad scene? The one I let sit to go worry about the middle section#Well. Haha. I read the whole comic back again to check for flow and shit#Get to the end#WOW ITS OUT OF CHARACTER AND JARRING. He’s not mean or anything I just don’t think he’d yell in that sort of emotional way?#I got so lost in the sauce I forgot to write good#So now I’m stuck. It’s so out of character so obviously I get rid of that problem.#Change it so he does still yell but less and also differently. and also now Mei gets to be pissed tf off#and tied it into several previous comics since I like things to be connected to each other#I think?? I think I’m happy with it now…but Jesus Christ#I don’t usually have to do Any rewrites#And the number of other comics I want to do is piling up so I take breaks to sketch those out for later#Then return. To my undoing.
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au where bretus kindom took marias selmore as hostage to blackmail casey and have her track down heathcliff van bretus for them
#academy's undercover professor#academy's undercover professor spoilers#like come on they gotta have other plans than relying on grander to agree to become their bait#fresh idea that has yet properly developed but i just think it would be fun to chew on#i might add more later as it comes#this could have happened in place of the fake fiance arc/timeline (but lbr all roads lead to rome)#instead of coming to ludger w a marriage proposal she told him abt the kidnapping of her sister and what bretus kingdom wanted in exchange#ludger: what does that have anything to do w me?#casey: you. you are him arent you?#which rendered ludger speechless bc how tf could she even deduce that#anyway they eventually negotiated to infiltrate bretus together to extract marias#they also found out marias was brainwashed & casey had to subdue her herself (while ludger dealt w his sibs) which led to her enlightenment#this obviously is gonna out ludger as heathcliff but the holy war has to happen somehow#yknow whats more fun. after casey and ludger got away they r both branded as wanted criminals by bretus lmfao#(ludger used this opportunity to joke abt how he had made casey into a false criminal therefore they are now even :D)#exilion empire got dragged in and eileen + terinna had to pick a side (casey & terinna angst!!! <2)#ludger and casey had to deal w the opposing force while on the run themselves#(later marias who was saved clocked their closeness and stopped bothering casey w arranged marriage)#(meanwhile ludger got the intel of the relics from marias as compensation)
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i love doing whatever i want with god tier outfits … you get those weird hip swirl things and you get those weird hip swirl things ! everyone gets those weird hip swirl things ! i dont know what theyre called
#very bare minimum but#i like making common things in classes an aspect thing too#like how witches have sparkly shoes BUT i also like to think the space aspect also gets sparkly shoes !#i just give the swirls to whoever tf i want (IT FILLS UP SPACE) but i also like to think its common among (whatever classes theyre already o#n) and added to the hope aspect ! and others ! because i do what i want#i can probably think of more things#later !!!#i changed pm girls god tier from a witch of hope to a maid of doom#gave her the swirls#ive gotta post the new sprite it looks good#LATER
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sometimes i'll think abt a Fandom and wish it were bigger, and sometimes i'll read something from a fandom.. and wish it were smaller
#ppl seeing a confident black man : FINALLY! A PERFECT ANTAGONIST FOR OUR STORY!#THE CORRUPTOR!! THE ASSHOLE! MR KNOWS ALL!#i want to be bigger into football. i rlly do#but . omg. sometimes seeing just So Much . side eye shit is . like imagine my exhaustion#and this isnt me trying to be the behavior police like let ppl write but sometimes seeing such. Fun. patterns can be like#idk man it's sad like damn thats rlly how the world is and obvs i KNOW how it can be but it's real wack#real wack being reminded even in ur supposed happy place ur supposed lighthearted little break from the world#it's still not . idk. it's just not#oh the poor pale blond qb just a little anxious baby oh and his evil zany teammates trying to corrupt him oh theyre so terrible for my angel#:/#.. that is. a Grown. Man .#it's like replaying my 2nd grade teacher ******** me bcs i was a troublesome kid and it made her feel young and alive and bad again#like wtf am i corrupting you with maam? skibbity toliet ? leave me alone !!#listen. if it were smthing like 'x rlly likes tomatoes' when he actually likes idk carrots? i would not give a fuck. infact i prefer carrots#but bad patterns have smthing more to say bcs patterns in general have a story#it's more than 'he would not fucking say that' it's 'WHY tf are YOU making HIM say THAT of ALL people & THINGS???'#like i love having asshole characters in my stories too. and they can be poc ! NO ONE is a saint!#but having one just to fuel the only one u actually care abt? having their problems solely be for plot?? & making that one#a SPECIFIC kind of person ?? is kinda giving me 'u dont view x as a human which could mean you dont view x race as humans'#WHICH IS !! IT SUCKS ! THAT SUCKS!#i know i need to just suck it up and ignore it but thats like the life quote of being poc isnt it#ugh#it sucks
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Love how every zelda has a special interest and that special interest saves the world.
#Like whether it's piracy or history of light magic or ninjas or technology or art zelda ALWAYS gets super interested in the one thing#That'll save her and the kingdom down the line. Like oot zelda 100% idolised impa and demanded to be taught shiekah techniques#And disguise only for those skills to become vital during the 7 years link was gone.#Tp zelda had the most knowledge of light magic it's history and applications and spirits by FAR and all of those enabled her to save midna#And summon light arrows#If ww zelda was sitting pretty on an island instead of roaming the seas with a loyal crew and several cannons link would have been screwed.#If botw zelda had been allowed to pursue her fascination with shiekah tech or even science as a whole who knows what they might have manage#Ganon might not have been able to take them over at all. She might have learned to channel her power through artifacts or learned to mimic#The energy flow of the shiekah magic which is directly derived from hylia/the tf of wisdom! She wouldn't have been stranded at the mountain#When ganon attacked if she hadn't been forced up there on her birthday. She could have outfitted the champions with better weapons that#Would have been more effective against the blights. She might have unlocked the slate or the shrines. She would have been more confident#And thus less abrasive with link. They would have been able to bond sooner and faster. Link would have been more relaxed and ready.#The shiekah might have been able to rework teleportation instead of 106 years late.#I am salty about rhoam banning her. It never would have worked out well.#Never keep a zelda from her special interest okay!!!!#Like as soon as she and link got to do whatever they wanted the problem got solved within a few months.#Never tell a link to behave or a zelda she can't research#loz#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#Totk#loz totk#loz tears of the kingdom#Botw#loz botw#breath of the wild#Zelda#princess zelda#loz zelda#loz link
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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Ggrrr I wish disenchantment was better. I binged it all because I'm sick somebody talk to me about this.
#the groening show on netflix#it had so much potential#and i did enjoy it!!! plenty of the characters were awesome#but it tried to be too big. wanted to incorporate too much. i didn't like beans magic. it got really repetitive#it felt like a lot of the movement between “lands” was super unnecessary. and took up a lot of time that could have been used in narrative#development#and you know the most fucked up part is that there was a Canon wlw couple that was end game AND I DIDNT EVEN LIKE THEM TOGETHERRR#and the last seasons egregious hyperfocus on love specifically romantic love like#it was cringe im sorry!!! not great writing#im glad beans relationship w her dad got better but i didnt like how instantanious it felt#also obv. i hate the whole thing with prince derek and his pixie gf. ew. really weird#but there was so much good and it couldve been great#i still enjoyed it but it fell short in so many ways#HOW DO YOU HAVE A QUEER GIRL COUPLE THAT I DONT LIKE!!! ME!!! QUEER GIRL NUMBER 1!!!!!!#i like EVERY WLW SHIP#and mora x bean had potential but like#it seemed a lot of the time liek they didnt even really like eachother. they aggravated tf out of eachother and not in like a hehe gay ppl#who bicker type of way. it was very much lesbian couple written by straight man feeling. idk if thats true but its the vibe i got#to the end im sad elfo never really actionably got over his weird thing about bean. he just said he did#and him and miri/mop girl. ehhhhh#i like her but she should have had a more gradual introduction into the main cast because she really feels like an after thought#glad zog moved to the woods that seemed like the right move#bean kinda handing the kingdom off to the elves kinda felt like a cop out after thought#like she got all weird about this is their kingdom we stole it from them and then only rwally gave it up after she got something that she#wanted more#please let me remake this show!!!!!!!!#also steam land!!! i like the concept but the execution and the travellimg back and forth between the two#the biggest issue this show suffered with though was repetition.#animation was fun. i enjoyed the use of 3d especially in later seasons#a lot of the jokes were funny but a lot just fell short.
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she told me i remind her of her ex, and that makes her feel protective of me. she tilted her head like a curious dog when she said that.
i wasn't sure how to word a prying question about it. i said I feel guilty when people do things for me because i don't have something to give in return. she said that was a strange way for me to have responded.
#woof woof#txtp#she makes me think so much#I want to be good. I want to be so good I want pure intentions and I think that want in itself is a bit dishonest#I'll go journal in my journal.#I think she knows I'd fuck her and even if she would be down for that it really feels like she is nurturing a different relative than that#both because im obviously a hungry void taking as much older tgirl love as i can as some mommy-ex wound bandaid combo#and she's genuinely concerned about me and being a sort of guiding presence is more important to her than wtv she'd get from hooking up#so i haven't hit on her. I let her know she's gorgeous af and is an angel but it's not as a move or to goad her on etc#we're both homeless and she's given me really good insight into how to live like this#she walks me back to wherever im headed when we're alone. which is both so appreciated but feels too sacrificial#it's a dangerous area. I don't want to be alone. but then she has to walk where she's going alone? no easy solution#she's like 30. this is a pattern. im fwb/ kind of dating two 30 y.o. trans women. i wasn't even seeking that out#in particular it's just unfolded this way from me following what feels good. but it's like. i am examining this#bc i don't want to be using people for some subconscious need and 3 for 3 is kinda red flag territory#i feel so used and spat out by my ex and the ppl who chose to be involved w me know im in a fucked up place. I dont want to repeat the cycl#of wtv tf the ex was doing when she “led me on” for years#I want my intentions and motives to be clear to me. So I don't make people I care about feel used or worse off for knowing me
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i try to love everybody and you do you and live your life etc but sometimes julia does shit while playing video games that makes me seethe with genuine murderous rage like. wtf do you mean you're reading the coordinates differently. why are you doing the y-value first. were you born on a different planet.
#sometimes the way her brain works drives me fucking insane#'the iron lung' game from a newer vod#it's all about like blindly steering a submarine just using a map and x and y coordinates#and for some reason she keeps planning for and reading and locating the y-coordinate first.#i KNOW there's no problem like it works the same#theres no reason you have to do x first#but you DO. we do x first! we always have!#wtf!#secret sleepover society#also the noise-gate or w/e tf is driving me craazzzzyyyy for some reason#the little cuts in and out of the room tone is more distracting than it just always being there#and julia's heavy breathing always picks up for some reason#which like. im not trying to be an asshole you need to breathe. but its irking my brain so bad#the breathing is sensory hell#i want to like their vods so bad but they drive me insane
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Someone holds me, safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory…
Hi I finished a resisting Durge user with Bela and I have. Thoughts.
#my art#described#baldurs gate 3#baldur’s gate 3#bg3 art#the dark urge#oc: bela#durge: Bela#the Thoughts have mostly been of a durgetash variety I will admit. the shitty man has Enamored me…#essentially my thoughts for Bela is that like. she never wanted to be a bhaalspawn. she helped concoct the plan because she was hoping that-#-if she made some grand sweeping gesture to her father he’d leave her tf alone. she stuck out in the rest of the cult as she was far more-#-controlled and restrained than the others there despite literally being of bhaal’s blood. she was resisting long before she lost her memory#before the game’s start she’d pray often to eilistraee. her prayers tended to go unanswered but she formed a version of herself in her head-#-that she wanted to be if she wasn’t a bhaalspawn and tried to live up to that. when she lost her memory she didn’t know about any of that -#-but eilistraee had blessed her broken mind with the ability to heal and spread light. she was listening - there just wasn’t much she felt-#-she could do up to this point. so she went from pregame being an assassin-rogue to during game being a cleric with a penchant for music.#in losing her memory it gave her the opportunity to be the person she always wanted to be even if she was unaware that’s what she was doing#anyway scattershot thoughts. bela my love
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