#which like. im not trying to be an asshole you need to breathe. but its irking my brain so bad

[natjennie]

i try to love everybody and you do you and live your life etc but sometimes julia does shit while playing video games that makes me seethe with genuine murderous rage like. wtf do you mean you're reading the coordinates differently. why are you doing the y-value first. were you born on a different planet.

[hungharrington]

spread

hey guys long time no see ! this was purely inspired bcos i think its HOT when guys hold their gfs legs open when they fuck. naturally im thinking of steve <3 enjoy! MDNI this entire blog is 18+ fem!reader

Fire burns beneath your skin.

Pure flames of desire that seem to start in your gut, licking and settling alight every nerve in your body. The fire within you hums and you burn up deliciously in it, trying so hard to stay still and feel everything.

Your breath hits the pillow, its soft feel pressed up against your cheek. Steve's chest drags against your bare back. You can feel the muscles of his chest shift, the drag of his chest hair as his bicep bulges over and over from a repeated motion.

The motion being his hand, buried between your thighs.

"Want you to..." Steve's voice breathes in your ear, that rasp in it that clues you in to how turned on he is. How keyed up he is. His forearm nudges at your thigh, pressing it outwards. "Want you to keep 'em spread for me, baby."

You swallow a gasp as his thumb passes over your clit teasingly. You nod against the pillow and your thighs part further without even thinking about it.

"That's it," Steve coos. This close, you can feel the curl of his smile against your neck. He's practically purring when he says, "That's my girl."

You're spreading yourself for him, your drooling cunt on display for him to play with, and the thought only fuels the dribbling, burning hot feeling in your gut. A whimpery noise pulls from your throat.

Steve kisses the skin of your neck generously, slow languid kisses that make your nipples peak against the sheets. A scrape of teeth. Heat burns between the shared skin.

Long, thick fingers draw circles at your entrance and you can't help how your back arches to push down onto them, a stuttering gasp escaping you. He's been teasing you for too damn long tonight.

"S-Steve."

His name has never sounded so filthy.

"Mm? What is it, baby?"

He's still circling your entrance tantalizingly, his thumb dancing over your clit so perfectly, so teasingly. Asshole. Teasing, stupidly hot, too-good-with-his-fingers asshole.

"Please," Is all you can manage, voice weak.

It's all you need for Steve give in, sinking his finger into your cunt and pulling simultaneous groans from both of you. You can feel the rumble of it against your spine. Your head tips back instinctively, your cunt fluttering in bliss.

Steve doesn't give you a moment to relax into it, another finger joining as he pumps them in. Lewd noises leak out as his fingers setting a punishing pace. They curl expertly, hitting the spot that makes your hole clench around him with every thrust of his fingers.

You clutch the sheets, your leg quivering and threatening to fall. A moan you can't contain pools in your chest and you bury your face in the pillow to muffle it.

Your hand shoots down to hold Steve's forearm — half to make sure he won't stop, half to keep yourself from falling apart too soon.

"God, look at you," Steve murmurs, his voice hot with praise.

All your whimpery noises, pressed into the pillow, going straight to his cock. It thickens in his boxers, straining against the fabric and Steve shivers in anticipation.

You can feel his trail of kisses up your neck but you know he’s watching the way your hips rock down onto his fingers. A fiery desire licks up your spine at the hardness you feel behind you. You feel yourself grow slicker at the feel of it, your mouth almost watering.

Steve's hips rolls up against yours roughly, no doubt eager to gain the same pleasure you were getting. His quiet grunts mix with your whiny breathes, pleasure burning and bubbling hotter and hotter.

Then a filthy moan scrapes out his throat when you clench down around his fingers — which disappear between your legs in a moment.

You barely get a moment to pout, a soft whine sounding, before you hear the fabric of his boxers being pushed down. It's frantic sounding, like he can't wait another second, like he needs to be buried inside you. You need it just as bad. You whine again.

"Sh, sh, sh, sh," Steve soothes, all too aware of your every noise. His needy baby. "I know, I got you."

His hand finds the bend in your knee and he holds it for you, keeping you spread for him. His nose nuzzles along your neck, kissing and suckling as he finally, finally, sinks his cock into you in one slow stroke.

You keen. A pitiful cry escapes your lips, the coil in your tummy twisting tighter at the gravelly moan that Steve makes. His hot breath of your neck, his closeness, the stretch of him inside you — you quiver and whimper, your cunt gushing on his cock.

"Oh f-fuck, honey," There's that whiny hitch in Steve's words now, the way there always is when nears pussy drunk.

You can feel the urge to close your shaky legs with how you cunt throbs in pleasure but Steve's hand is still tucked under your knee, keeping them apart, as he starts to rock into you.

The lewd noises from before return, the wet sound of your slick as Steve ruts into you. His hips move fast, his pace building.

A ragged moan drools from your lips and you push your head back instinctively, searching for more Steve. He's there already, his kisses resuming up your neck feverishly, his thrusts not faltering.

"Ste— Stevie," You gasp needily, letting one of your hands slip over your waist to hold him however you can. Your fingers find his bicep and you clutch it, breathy noises punched out with every roll of his hips. Steve groans loudly.

"God, you feel so fuckin' good around me," He pants, thick cock driving into you steadily enough to make you melt. He drops his hold on your leg for a moment, his hand darting up to your face. He pushes back the hair in your face, his lips kissing the exposed skin as he does.

"My pretty fuckin' girl," He hums, voice wavering in his own pleasure.

Your thighs start to ease close without thinking and Steve snakes his hand down, slapping lightly at your clit with his large hand. It makes you squeal, your legs jumping apart and your hole clenching down on his cock deliciously. Steve moans again, a thread of a whine in it.

"Told you," He huffs breathlessly, lips dragging up the sensitive skin of your neck. He nips at your ear. You whimper. "To keep 'em spread for me. You can- you can do that f'me, can't you?"

It's a trick question because there's no way you can answer anything right now. Steve's thrusts slow for a moment, as if he's giving you a moment's reprieve, only for you to realise it's for a more sinister reason all together.

He shifts forward and lets his hand find its place under your knee again, holding your legs apart, and this time when he fucks back in, your whole body twitches.

You make a pitiful noise, something between a moan and a gasp. And then you make it again and again, as Steve drives his cock into your cunt, hitting the spot every single time.

"Oh, there she is." Steve coos. "Is that it, yeah? That spot feel good, honey?"

It would nearly be embarrassing, the little uh, uh, uh's you keep making, if it didn't feel so fucking good. You thought you were on fire before but now you're molten. Your skin blazes. Pleasure twists the coil in your gut tighter. You clench down on Steve's cock and gush at the whimpery noise he makes.

"I- ngh, shit—" He's panting now, beginning to become undone at the silky feel of you wrapped around him. "I asked -ah- you a question, baby."

You wail softly into the pillow, head curling in. Your head swims in delirious pleasure, the question he asked a minute ago long gone. You whine at his cruelty, your mind utterly distracted by the filthy squelchy noises he's fucking out of you.

"B-Baby can't think right now?" Steve teases, his thrusts turning shallow but faster. He hikes your leg up higher, pulled back towards his hairy thigh. "Getting fucked too good, huh?"

"Uh huh," Your voice comes out all whiny, the words drooling out your mouth. Your cheek brushes the pillow as you reply, eyes screwing up as the tightness in your stomach looms closer, hotter, nearly bursting. You grip his bicep tighter.

"Pleasepleaseplease, don't- don't stop, baby, I'm— I'm," The words rush out of you in a frantic babble. "Please, fuck- I'm, uh,"

A moan warbles out of Steve at your pleading, feeling his balls draw up as his own orgasm creeps up on him. He dutifully listens to his baby, still fucking himself into you with a lustful fervor.

"Gonna cum?" He grunts. You whine.

"I wanna see you cum," Steve rasps, his tummy flexing as he tries to hold back his mounting pleasure. "C'mon, baby, cum all over my cock, yeah? Show me how good it is."

His hand slips from your beneath your knee once more, sliding down to pat at your clit and it's all it takes. You unravel. The heat in your bloodstream gives way to pure euphoria, confetti pumping through your body as you gasp and moan. Your cunt clenches and flutters, throbbing in just the right way.

Steve's hips stutter, the sudden snugness of you pushing him over the edge. It's everything to hear the little inhale he does; the whimper he makes as his cock twitches inside you, dribbling hot ropes of cum.

He keeps moving, milking out every dreg of pleasure for the both of you. Your hand on his arm shifts, moving up, searching for his face and when you tangle your hands in his hair, it's to turn and kiss him. It's sloppy, your lips barely aligned. Still, it hums with love.

The kiss breaks. Slowly, the pleasure and his movements taper off, til Steve's easing himself out of you. A warm buzz sits over the room, satisfaction rolling off the both of you in waves. You feel faint, a sluggish happy feeling settling into your skin.

"Mm, you okay?" Steve's voice sounds from behind you.

You're still snuggled close together, Steve dropping his head into the crook of your neck to nuzzle into it. You huff a happy laugh, reaching a hand up to bury it into his hair like you know he loves.

"More than okay." You sigh happily. Steve's responding hum vibrates against your shoulder. "You just fucked my brains out, baby."

Steve makes a little noise, a half-hearted snort. He kisses the curve of your shoulder again. "Just doin' my job."

[slutforgarlogan]

"You can check if you like" | Peter Maximoff x F! Reader

Summary: Peter comes back from a mission with a wound and you patch him up. He takes the opportunity to tease you.

Warnings: nsfw content, fingering, teasing, Peter being a cocky asshole

"Oh my god what happened to you?" you jump up from your seat when the team gets back from their mission, noticing the bleeding coming from your boyfriends head. You'd be lying if you said he didn't look hot all bloodied up, but you were too concerned with his wellbeing to indulge in the urge to make out with him.

Peter gives you his usual cocky smile, ignoring your concern "I'm fine babe, its just a scratch." You aren't convinced, but you know he wont go back on the statement, ever the cocky bitch despite his constant dramatics. You raise an eyebrow at him to indicate you dont believe him, "Please just let me look at it anyway"

Peter rolls his eyes and groans, smiling at you playfully while he does so - but he doesn't protest and takes you to one of the bathrooms with a fwip.

Though he does that all the time, you never expect it - and the speed always makes you feel ill and disoriented. You take a second to ground yourself, before getting the first aid things out of the bathroom cabinet to sort him out, and speaking to him as you rifle through it. "You're okay everywhere else yeah, nothing got through your suit?"

"You can check if you like" His tone is suggestive and he wiggles his eyebrows, and you roll your eyes at his answer - taking that as a no. He watches you for a second, and then sits down on the closed toilet lid before you have the chance to tell him to.

You move to stand in front of him, subconsciously situating yourself between his legs where he was practically manspread, and you push his goggles onto the top of his head, trying to make sure his hair stays tucked under them and out the way. The cut looks deep, and you wince a little thinking about it. You lock eyes with him as you pick up a little cotton pad and alcohol to clean the wound - you've done this a fair few times and he knows the drill, but you warn him regardless. "It's gonna sting a second Quickie"

You press the alochol soaked cotton pad on the wound, making sure to be gentle, and Peter grips onto the nearest thing when you do so, which happens to be your thigh. The feel of his hand on you shoots to your core immediately, and your breath hitches for half a second before you catch yourself and ignore it. You keep cleaning the wound, eventually moving on to clean the dried blood around it, and Peters leg is bouncing as he starts to get bored and restless.

You lock eyes with him and lean back a second. "Peter, sit still, find something in here to distract yourself im nearly done i promise" There's a certain look in his eye when he looks at you, and you can see an idea forming in his head, and you worry slightly what ridiculous idea you've accidentally caused him to have, but you get back to what you're doing anyway.

As you grab a roll of bandaid and scissors to cut it down to fit the wound, you feel a hand at the top of your thigh, fingers hooking into your panties to get them down a little - you try to ignore it and focus on finishing what you're doing, holding the roll up unrolling a little bit to see how much you need.

You hear a little cocky laugh from Peter as his finger prods at your folds and you could have ripped his suit off him there and then. But you try not to react, steadying your breathing before you look at him. "Whats funny"

He looks up at you, a shit eating grin on his face. "You're so wet and i haven't even touched you"

A pink shade dusks over your cheeks as you roll your eyes, in your head you know exactly what made you wet, but you know he'll poke fun at you for it so you don't tell him. "Shut up"

You cut a bit of a bandaid off the roll, big enough to fit the wound, and as you do so, he slides a finger into you, thrusting it in and out at a painfully slow pace - but he doesnt take long to slide a second finger in. He is still in his suit, and the gloves of the suit feel weird. The feeling is foreign but good. Your breathing goes a bit shaky as you try to concentrate, putting the roll down and picking up the bit you cut off, flipping it around to peel the back off, struggling a little fiddling with it.

Peter speeds up his fingers, curling them inside you to hit the spot that makes you whine a little, earning the same shit eating grin as before as he makes sure to keep hitting that spot. He brings his other hand to circle your clit as you finally get the back off the band aid, and you moan out as he draws figure 8's over the sensitive bud. "Fuckk Peter"

You stick the band-aid over the wound carefully but quickly, placing your hands on his shoulders as soon as you're done, breathing heavily and whimpering a bit. "Peter please"

He speeds up the finger on your clit, practically vibrating it and you moan loudly, legs shaking as you try hold yourself up properly and your walls clench around his fingers a little.

Thats when he stops. You look at him with pleading eyes "What the fuck"

He laughs a little "You've finsihed patching me up"

You look at him dumbfounded and annoyed, you open your mouth to protest but he speaks before you.

"You wanna check under my suit now?"

[taintedcigs]

i know places — e.m.

pairing: eddie munson x popular cheerleader!f!reader

warnings: 18+ ONLY, minors dni!!, ANGST, smut, p in v, kind of degradation, jealousy, praises, nicknames, br*eding kink, cre*mpie, FIGHT!!, eddie beats someone up, gareth is an asshole im sorry, and some flufff

summary: in which you are secretly dating eddie because his friends don't like you (wc: 6k+)

a/n: HELLO hello I AM BACK! i kind of hate this, and the ending sucks pls ignore it but i wanted to post it so bad bc i love ts x eddie!! also a part of this was heavily HEAVILY inspired by an ep of veronica mars bc its one of my fav shows!! also no dividers and i didn't proof-read SO PLEASE ignore the mistakes plss

Four months.

It had been four months since you and Eddie had started to “secretly date.”

And in all honesty, it had been fun. The sneaking around, the private dates, the quick fuck seshs in school, in the supply closet, after his D&D campaigns, in his van, in the woods.

And the teasing, oh god, the teasing.

It's why you were currently scrunched up in the back of his van, ragged breathing and curses, heavy tension filling the space.

“You done teasin’?” he asked, hovering over you.

It started with the glances in the hallway, at first, Eddie thought they were innocent. But the way you threw your head back as you touched Andy’s arm had Eddie’s jaw clenched.

He was sure his blood was boiling by the time he dragged you back to his van.

He dismissed your concerns about how he shouldn’t skip English again, he could care less, he needed you, and he needed you now.

It was driving him crazy too, while he had fun, he hated the idea of not being able to tell those stupid jocks to back off of his girl.

He hated the stupid school hierarchy and his friends for having to keep this relationship a secret, he hated not being able to show you off.

“Teasing?” You asked, an innocent smile playing on your lips.

“C’mon don’t play coy now.” He warned, “I know what you were tryin’ to do with that stupid jock.” He scoffed.

“And did it work?” You batted your lashes, and he rolled his tongue inside of his cheek. “Yeah.” He barely gave you any time to adjust before his lips hungrily attacked yours.

So needy and filled with lust that you couldn’t help the whimpers that escaped your lips. He didn’t waste any time as he reached for the edge of your tiny top almost ripping it off and letting it drop to the van’s floor.

You could feel your breath hitch with how rough he was being, his calloused fingers flipping your cheerleader skirt and moving your panties aside, sliding a finger as he groaned at the wetness, partying your pussy to get a better view of your gushing heat.

“Fuckfuckfuck.” He cursed under his breath, “Such a pretty fucking pussy, baby,” He peppered your heat. “All mine, yea?” He asked needily.

His fingers worked your clit with little circles, causing you to whimper out. “Mhmm.” You barely let out, eyes shutting immediately in pleasure.

His fingers worked to stretch you open, and his visible bulge was pressing hard against his uncomfortable pants, you knew you would get what you had been begging for all morning soon.

“You think it’s fuckin’ funny to try to make me jealous?” He raised a brow, and you stopped your lips from twitching into a smirk, you didn’t need him to edge you, not right now, not when you needed him this much.

“Nuh-uh.” You pouted, “Only did it cause you kept flirting with that girl yesterday at the gig.” You huffed, you knew you were being petty, but could care less, the downside to this whole deal was the fact that you couldn’t tell those girls to back off of him, you just had to smile and watch as they swooned all over him.

And if he could play at that game, so could you.

He gave you a slight chuckle before his fingers plunged in and out of you, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit as you moaned for more. “Needy fuckin’ slut.” He’s being mean, and you love it.

“I’ll give you all the attention you need, yea? Such a bratty baby.” He teased.

You cried out when he retracted his fingers, feeling empty as you pouted at him. He was quick to get his aching cock out of the uncomfortable boxers, bouncing against his stomach as he hissed.

His breathing was ragged as his cock flexed in his palm, causing your thighs to tremble with need, “Do something.” You breathed.

He raised a brow at your eagerness, “Please,” You pleaded, tears welling in your eyes at the pent-up frustration inside of you.

He was quick to dip his head down your chest, mouth nibbling at your nipples, and you arched against his fingers, he was driving you crazy and you could feel his aching cock brush against your thighs.

“So fuckin’ perfect,” He cried out pinching your clit, “And all mine,” You liked how rough and possessive he got when he was jealous, you didn’t care that it was wrong, your heat was pulsing relentlessly with need.

“Jesus,” He cried out when he had one hand on your hip, and used the other to rub the tip of his pulsing cock against your entrance.

You trembled with desire when he teased you further, his pink tip sliding easily over your soaking cunt, “C’mon, thought you wanted to fuckin’ tease me?” He mocked.

“You’re already cryin’ out like a whore and I haven’t even touched you properly yet, peach,” He cooes, causing you to whine.

“N—need you,” Barely able to speak, you spread your thighs further, and Eddie gives you a chuckle, his mocking was making you throb even more.

“Jesus fucking Christ, you spread your legs like that for that dumb jock too, honey?” His words are laced with bitterness and you’re quick to shake your head.

“Uh—uh, only you,” You whine, he’s rough as he grabs your cheeks making you look at him, your eyes widen as you desperately plead for him to do something  — anything.

“Since I own this tight little cunt, I’m gonna use it like I fuckin’ want to,” He growls, and you whimper at that, Eddie’s lips tilt into a smirk, he knows you enjoy his words. “You want that, peach? You want me to wreck this pretty little pussy? Fill you to the brim with my warm load?” He asks, and it makes you tilt your head backward in pleasure when he teases his tip against your entrance again.

“Mpmhm… Fuckfuckfuck, yes please!” You’re practically shaking with the need to be fucked.

He grasped your wrists in one hand, pinning them against the cold walls of his van, making you hiss, barely giving you any warning before he slowly prodded his aching cock inside your velvety walls.

“Fuckohfuckohfuck,” His breathing was ragged and you could almost feel his cock splitting you open, your mouth rounding into a silent ‘Oh.’

As he plunged himself deeper into you, your back arched back toward him, making your cunt clamp down on his cock, and he growled, “S’fuckin’ tight, poor baby must’ve felt so empty without my cock, yea?” He cooes and you nod quickly.

You could feel your insides burn, both from need and from how big Eddie was. “Mmmph, greedy fuckin’ cunt. Takin’ me so well, honey.” He murmured peppering your face with kisses, you could barely take in his words, your mind clouded with desire.

Your eyes welled up in tears again, it felt so fucking good, feeling him this deep inside of you, “Shhh… you can do it baby,” Eddie encouraged as he forced himself deeper into your soaking walls.

“Be a good girl and take it all, can you do that honey?” You nodded immediately, Eddie’s hands were quick to caress your cheeks, “Good fuckin’ girl,” He murmured before he went on and on, his cock invading your walls until he was sure he was balls deep inside of you.

You couldn’t help the filthy squeaks that escaped your lips, the space of the van filled with your mewls and Eddie’s balls slapping against you.

He licks your neck before he bites hard onto your shoulder, his grunts filling the room as he plunges harder into you.

“Jesus fucking— mmpfh… just like that honey,” He murmurs into your neck, “My perfect fuckin’ girl.”

“Look so fuckin’ pretty when you’re all fucked out like this,” He nibbles on your neck, hands pinching your nipples. “Gonna be the fuckin’ death of me, baby,” He groans as he slams further inside of you.

“Edsedsedseds!” You repeat like a mantra, “What’d’ya need, peach?” He asks smugly.

“Jesus— n-need to cum!” You cry out and Eddie’s brain short-circuits for a moment, as you lay beneath him, plump lips making ‘Oh!’ sounds as your head is tilted back, and Eddie revels in it.

“Do it, honey. Cum for me,” He encourages.

“Need that tight little cunt to clamp down on me, peach,” He groans, and your whimpers get louder, you know you’re getting close and Eddie can feel how much you tighten around him.

“Shitshitshiiit— baby, this cunt is so fuckin’ greedy, and so fuckin’ tight,” He grunts. “All mine, angel.”

“’M close, Eds…” You barely blurt out in your fucked out state, and Eddie coos, “Cum for me, honey, c’mon cream my cock.”

He tilts his hips up further and hits your velvety walls so perfectly that almost has your eyes crossing.

Once his calloused fingers make their way onto your clit, rubbing slow circles and also giving your sensitive spot a pinch you cry out, trembling beneath him as you feel yourself release around his cock.

He lets out a loud grunt, “S’fuckin’ tight when you cum, shit— Gonna fuck my load into you, baby.”

“You want that? You want me to fill that pretty pussy, have you leakin’ my cum for days?” You nod weakly, still too fucked out to answer.

“Fuckfuckfuck— yeah, baby, gonna fill your tight little hole up, gonna give you all this cum,” He grunted.

“Would you like that honey? Shit—so fuckin’ tight, beg for it, beg for me, princess—” He almost growls into the curve of your neck, his hips slamming forward roughly, “Please—Eds, please, need your cum…” You make a mewling sound and Eddie can’t help himself, he’s pounding into you like a dog in heat and he knows he’s getting close now.

“Jesus—I’m gonna cum, honey. God—I’m gonna spend all of my load in this tight little cunt peach, it’s takin’ me so well, baby, I couldn’t pull out even if I wanted to, fuckfuckfuck—”

“Goin’ to fuck my load into you, baby, need to fill you up nice and sweet,” He cooes, mind boggling with the sight of your tits jiggling each time he slams harder into you, he knows he is rearing his orgasm with the way his hips stutter.

“Cum inside’a me, please,” You purr, eyes sultry as they meet Eddie’s, his grip on your hips tightens enough to leave a mark, your words sending a wave of pleasure to him as his movement is picked up.

“Mhmm, I love it when you fill me up s’warm and nice, and make me yours,” You murmured and that was it for Eddie.

His groans became uncontrollable now, and his eyes squeezed shut, he slammed into your body one last time, roughly, a string of curses spilled from his lips before his cock pulsated and his warm sticky load painted your insides, already spilling out of your tight cunt with how stuffed you were, falling down your thighs. 

With a few “Fuckfuckfuck’s” Eddie collapsed on top of you, lips peppering your face softly as he wrapped an arm around you, murmuring, “You okay, baby?”

You nodded quickly, “Mhmm…” You relaxed into his warm body, “That fuckin’ punk really thought he could flirt with you, huh?” He chuckled; he was still possessive, bringing a dark smile to your lips.

“You know what you have to do to keep them away, don’t you?” You raised a brow, and he immediately knew what you were implying, but he wasn’t ready for any of it.

“Not this again,” He huffed, and you were quick to get out of his hold, you weren’t the type to push a guy around to make things exclusive, but with Eddie, you wanted nothing more than that, you didn’t even care about the teasing you would endure when the two of you made things official, but he certainly did, and it was starting to hurt you.

“Nevermind,” You murmured, searching for your clothes as Eddie got up, “Why are we in such a hurry?” He asked, tone worried. “We already skipped one class, I don’t wanna skip another one, doofus.” You narrowed your eyes at him before slipping on your skirt, sighing in relief when you found your panties discarded on the floor.

“You mad at me or somethin’?” You could tell how fragile he was acting around you, and it made your heart ache, but all of the secrets and running around were getting to you, the girls that were throwing themselves at Eddie as he flashed them a chuckle made your blood boil, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“No, it’s just super fucking tiring to act like you don’t exist, when you’re the only person I want in my life,” Your words come out faster than you mean to, and you look at him with such a hopeful gaze that Eddie’s heart tightens, the last thing he wants to do is hurt you.

“Honey…” He whispers, before pulling your body to his again, “You have no fuckin’ idea how much I want that to happen, but—”

“But, what?” Your voice is irritated.

“But you know how the guys are, you know how annoying Gareth—” You immediately scoff at the name.

You had no idea when or why it happened.  You had no idea what caused him to act this way toward you. But Eddie’s friends absolutely hated you.  Especially Gareth. Jeff also did not like the fact that you were the head cheerleader, but Gareth almost had a vendetta against you, you had barely interacted with him, but the boy was out to get you.

You were fine with the kids, Dustin and Mike had adored you the second you protected them against Carver’s idea of a joke. Lucas, with his new place on the basketball team, understood you, granted he had no idea of what was happening between you and Eddie, but he knew you were Eddie’s friend, and he knew how hard Eddie’s friends have been on you.

And that is exactly why you and Eddie had decided to keep your relationship a secret that started a few months ago.

Eddie had doubts about what people would say about your relationship, and he couldn’t handle the fact that his friends would have a say in it, he wanted to keep you away from them, as long as possible.

And he assumed your popular friends wouldn’t be so keen on him, either.

So you agreed to keep the relationship a secret, but it was eating away at you now.

“It’s about him again, isn’t it?” You asked, shaking your head with a chuckle. “Four months and you can’t even dare to say I’m your girlfriend, because of fucking Gareth,” You spat out.

“It’s not just about that—Jesus, you think your cheerleader and jock friends would fuckin’ enjoy havin’ the freak around?” His tone was louder now and you hated it.

“I don’t care! I don’t give the slightest fuck what they would think about my boyfriend, it’s my business and they don’t fucking get a say in it, Eddie!” Your insecurities were on the surface now, even if Eddie couldn’t tell, you were hurt by him wanting to hide you away this much, caring more about Gareth who had this twisted game of trying to hurt you, and it made you feel like absolute shit like Eddie could care less about you.

“Don’t you think I fuckin’ know that? I do! But Gareth—” You scoffed interrupting him as you turned around to face him. “Fuck him!” Your voice raised in fury.

“Look, Eddie, if you don’t want this—” Your hand was quick to point between the two of you, “Just say the fucking word.”  

“You’re twistin’ my fuckin’ words around,” His voice didn’t hold the confidence it did before, his eyes were washed over with guilt and worry, he couldn’t afford to lose you, and if he kept being a jackass, it looked like he was going to.

“You’re unbelievable,” He scoffed, “I’m unbelievable?” You quoted him, eyes narrowing again.

Eddie was on his last straws and he knew it, but he couldn’t get himself to back down, he couldn’t let you see the vulnerable side of him this soon, there was no way you would be able to stay with him, not when you saw how fragile he actually was.

“Yeah! You fuckin’ are,  acting all insane and shit just because you felt jealous over some stupid girls—” And he stops there because the exasperation of breath that slipped past your lips is so loud that he realizes what he just said.

“Fuck you,” You say it so ironically and humorously, that Eddie likes to think this is one of those ironic ‘Fuck you’s you had uttered to him before, slightly nudging his side as you gave him a warm smile, but you’re nothing but cold now.

“If you think that’s what this is about then I have nothing to say to you,” Your voice was timid before you made your way to the door, Eddie’s faint mumbles of your name were just dizzying your mind when you felt the hot tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.

And with that, Eddie spent the rest of the day either sulking or using other people as his anger outlet, he knew it wasn’t fair, but he couldn’t help it when you spent the rest of the day ignoring him, acting like he didn’t even exist, and it was killing him.

It got so much worse for him around lunchtime, his table was facing you, and his throat tightened, a lump forming at the fact that you didn’t even glance at him, not even turning your head toward his direction.

Eddie was fidgeting in his seat, he was itching to run over to your side, scream at the top of his lungs that you were his girlfriend, and kiss you, right in front of the entire school.

It was killing him, not being able to show you how much he fucking loved you. And his mind was now swirling with the idea that you finally realized how much of a loser he was, or that you finally realized how he didn’t deserve you, not in the slightest bit.

After one fucking conversation he had managed to push you away, and possibly manage to ruin one good fucking thing in his life, and he wanted to bang his head against the table while yelling out idiotidiotidiot!

Eddie knew he had to do something, as soon as possible, you were slipping away from his fingers, and he couldn’t handle losing you.

You were doing everything you can to avoid his gaze, no matter how much your head itched to cock in his direction.

Trying your best to stay unbothered as you attempted to laugh genuinely at the cheesy jokes Andy was providing the table with.

And Eddie’s blood was boiling, you seriously didn’t mean to make him jealous, but it didn’t matter to him, you were acknowledging everyone and specifically Andy right now but him, and it made Eddie’s jaw clench uncontrollably.

The banter going on at the table was unknown to him, but it made your skin crawl as if Gareth was saying some stupid shit about you again as if the entire table was mocking you, it was cruel, or at least it felt cruel to you.

That’s when your throat tightened up, your mind foggy as you could barely focus on anything but the chatter going on at Eddie’s table.

The cafeteria noises were pounding in your head now, jock’s table filled with the obnoxious laugh of Jason Carver, and you could even hear Robin blabbing something to Steve somewhere behind you. It was all a blur to you by now.

It surely had nothing to do with you but your mind and anxiety were enough to convince you that Gareth was making fun of you at the table. That little voice in your head there to tell you all the worst possibilities.

You barely noticed Eddie’s body burning off with rage when you were so focused on trying to hear what Gareth was saying, it shouldn’t have bothered you this much, but knowing how close he was to Eddie and how much he hated you… maybe it meant something.

Maybe Gareth knew that you were not good enough for Eddie, maybe you deserved it.

Maybe Gareth was right, maybe you were not right for Eddie, maybe he deserved to be with someone who liked his stupid D&D game, someone who didn’t conform, someone who wasn’t a coward, maybe someone who wasn’t a—

“Hey…”

“You okay?” Chrissy’s concerning voice caused your train of thought to disappear, at least pushing it back into your subconscious until you were ready to face your problems again.

“Mhmm,” You were quick to flash her with a smile, it wasn’t genuine and she probably knew it wasn’t genuine but, she stood silent as she didn’t want to put you on blast in front of everyone, giving you a tight-lipped smile and a reassuring squeeze in your arm, and you invited it in, cold demeanor changing within seconds.

And Eddie could sense it now, sitting across you, leaning in his chair like a storm isn’t brewing in his head, eyeing you carefully.

You slowly readjusted yourself, eyes quickly stealing a glance from Eddie’s table–but never at him.

And if he wasn’t watching he would’ve missed it, but he didn’t—hope inside of him blossoming like never before.

He was fidgeting to get out of his seat, run over to you, hands itching to hold you again, never to let go this time.

Your quick glance, instead of resulting in Eddie’s attention, brought Gareth’s unwarranted attention to you.

You felt uncomfortable in your seat now, you knew now your anxiety about him talking awfully about you to Eddie would be true now.

“She’s such a spoiled brat,” Gareth blurted out.

“Who are you talking about?” Jeff asked mindlessly, hands dipped into the fries he had been munching on.

“That stupid cheerleader,” Eddie’s head snapped at the mention of that, surely Gareth didn’t mean—Oh.

It was as if the rage building in within Eddie had snapped within seconds, thoughts in his head swirling, blaming Gareth for the fight.

“Watch it,” Eddie’s voice spoke before he turned his attention to Gareth, the table immediately quitening down.

“Excuse me?” Gareth questioned, taken aback, before Eddie cocked his head in his direction.

“Don’t fuckin’ talk about her,” His teeth were gritted, and your ears perked up at the rise in Eddie’s voice.

“The fuck are you on about?” Gareth replied back, the tension in the table was rising and Dustin was fidgeting im his seat by now.

“I’m telling you to keep your mouth shut when it comes to her, is that clear?” Eddie bounced from his seat, so quickly that he didn’t realize the entire cafeteria staring at him, including you.

Gareth gave him a confused chuckle, “I’m sorry?”

“Are you defending a cheerleader now or what? Have you forgotten how awful they have been to us?” He raised a brow.

“She didn’t do anything,” Eddie defended you like his life depended on it, he couldn’t believe how stupid he was being, for caring about Gareth’s half-witted input on you, like he ever actually had a conversation with you other than throwing insults to your way under his breath.

“So leave her alone,” It was more like a threat than anything else, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw the scene, Eddie not noticing your gaze, blinded by the rage.

Eddie was barely hanging by a thread, the way he leaned over the table eyes bulging out as he stood over Gareth, everyone could sense it.

A loud whoo’s from the jock’s table caused you to huff, before you knew it, Jason Carver was involved.

“Trouble in paradise?” He shouted, followed by the obnoxious laughter of his followers, they called Eddie the leader of a satanic cult but by the looks of it, Jason and his stupid little jocks fit the description more.

“Oh, shut it, Carver,” Your mouth opened before your mind could process it, heads turned toward you and you were afraid to look back up now.

The laughter from Jason’s table had died down, and you could feel plenty of eyes on you, but what mattered the most, you could feel Eddie’s burning gaze on you, the storm in his mind calming down with your tone.

Before you knew it everyone went into something else, Chrissy was quick to start a conversation and you could see from the corner of your eye that Dustin had probably took on the same job, spewing nonsense until the tension deviated.

Eddie had slumped into his seat now, thighs spread wide open while his leg fidgeted, his anger had dissipated—eyes trained on you again, it was so obvious now, even Chrissy was nudging you.

The conversation at the table was no longer interesting, he didn’t even attempt to care if Gareth was okay, you stood up to him in front of the entire school, so mindlessly that Eddie felt like a coward.

Guilt ran through his veins quicker than it intended to, Eddie knew he has been acting like an idiot, but you had opened his eyes further.

He knew he had to talk to you.

And once he saw you leaving the cafeteria alone, he knew it was now or never.

He barely waited right after you left, ignoring the voices from the table calling out for him as he waved them off, mumbling incoherently about how he had to take care of something.

You stopped when you heard his weighted footsteps, jogging after you as he called your name.

You were afraid to turn around, afraid to ask him what had happened that made him lash out at Gareth like that.

“I’m sorry,” were the first words that slipped past his almost trembling lips, his honey-brown eyes mellow.

“I said some really stupid things I shouldn’t have said,” were the words that followed, you could tell he meant it, ragged breath escaping with each word, he was nervous.

Your heart tightened in your chest, unable to open your mouth, you stared at him like a deer caught in headlights.

“I—I don’t need you to say anything,” He breathed again, and it’s not like you could get any words out now, they all died down in your throat.

“I just need you to trust me,” He murmured, calloused hands coming in contact with your shoulders as he held you steady, your legs feeling like jelly when he looked at you like that.

“W—with what?” You didn’t mean to stutter, but you couldn’t help it when he was standing this close to you, it didn’t matter if you had been dating for the last four months, you could tell something in him had changed, with the way he held you in public, your mind getting excited about the possibilities.

“I’m gonna fix this,” He pointed between the two of you, almost mimicking you from before.

“I’ll pick you up at 7, does that sound okay?” He gave you a warm smile, teeth flashing and dimples forming on the right side of his cheek, making you giggle immediately.

“O–okay,” You didn’t mean to sound so excited–almost desperate, but you could feel your insides twist with hope with each of his words, breaking down the guards you spent building up all these years.

He gave you a sloppy kiss on your cheek, his smile never wearing off, “See you after school, yea?” You nodded quickly, heat rising up on your cheeks.

By the time Eddie picked you up by your house, your chest tightened, the whole ride was more silent than usual, the stereo Eddie usually blasted now stayed as a background noise as you fidgeted in your seat.

“Are you ever gonna tell me where we are going? Or at least what we’re gonna do?” You asked curiously, head cocking to his side.

“So impatient,” He mocked, hands drumming on the steering wheel before he flashed you a smile.

“We’re almost there,” He announced, and the roads were becoming all too familiar to you now.

“Are we going to the trailer?” You asked excitedly, and Eddie threw you a look.

“You do know what surprises mean, don’t you?” He raised his brows and flashed a teasing smile, his eyes dancing with amusement.

You huffed playfully, crossing your arms against your chest.

“You do realize how cute you look when you get all mad like that?”

"Oh, stop it," you stammered, covering your face slightly with your hands, attempting to hide your embarrassment and the smile that threatened to betray you.

Eddie flashed a toothy-grin, dimples ever so present, you couldn't tear your eyes away from him, even if you wanted to.

Gaze lingered on his features longingly, as if trying to capture every detail in your memory. “Thank you for today,” He murmured, almost embarrassed, looking out on the road as his hands got clammy on the steering wheel.

You know exactly what he was thanking you for, but you still threw him a puzzled look.

“For standing up to Carver like that,” He adds, clearing his throat,

“I doubt you realize it Eddie but—”

“I think I’d pretty much do anything for you,” The words blurted out before you could process them, brain jumbled from everything that happened today.

A soft smile curved his lips as he watched you, eyes tracing every contour of your face with awe.

The rest of the ride was silent, as you kept your promise to not spoil the surprise, mind filled with various ideas as Eddie finally pulled up to his trailer.

"So... will you tell me the surprise now?" You asked, smile etching on your face as Eddie gave you a breathy laugh.

"Such an impatient baby, huh?" He mocked, nudging your shoulder playfully, his eyes sparkling with mirth.

As you caught up to him, he couldn't help but reach out to brush your hand with his fingertips, a subtle gesture of affection.

When he finally intertwined them, your heart raced, possibilities of whatever the surprise was overwhelming you as your palms grew sweaty with anxiety when you faced the daunting door to Eddie's trailer.

Eddie's fingers gripped the doorknob tightly, with a twist of the key in his hands, the lock mechanism turned, and he pushed the door open, revealing loud chattering coming from the room.

You got startled when Eddie fully opened the door, almost squealing when you saw all of the Hellfire Club squeezed into the living room, your eyes widening at Eddie's surprise.

It was silent before Gareth spoke up, “What kind of a sick joke is this supposed to be?” He chuckled bitterly, Eddie felt hot-blooded again.

“Is this why you defended her during lunch?” He chuckled, and your eyes widened at the revelation—so, that's why Eddie lashed out at lunch.

"Unfuckinbelievable," Gareth scoffed.

Eddie's jaw tightened, the muscles flexing with the strain of suppressing the overwhelming urge to lash out. “What the hell are you doing? Please tell me this is a new joke of yours called ‘I’m fucking the spoiled brat cheerleader to spite the jocks’.” Gareth spoke up, and turned around to Jeff and others for approval, but the rest of the guys just stood silent, he had crossed the line and everyone could sense it.

Your face soured at his comment, and you could feel Eddie’s grip on your hand tightened, he was getting fired up. “Goodbye, Gareth.” Eddie spoke calmly, much to your and everyone else’s surprise. Every movement he made was rigid, calculated, as if trying to contain the tempest of rage threatening to consume him.

Gareth turned to Eddie baffled, “What?” He scoffed, and Eddie gave a breathy chuckle before straightening up to collect himself. “Get out of my house.” Eddie spat with rage inside of him.

“You have a problem with, her, you leave.” You looked up at him softly as you gently squeezed his hand to let him know that it was okay, he didn’t need to make a scene, and he softened with your touch.

“Actually, if you have a problem with Y/N, you’re pretty much dead to me so just like…” He mocked a thinking face, “Evaporate or something, I don’t know.” A sarcastic smirk was plastered onto his lips now.

Everyone stood silent, causing Eddie to huff.

“That’s kind of a general invitation, if you don’t like my girlfriend then… just start heading toward the rectangle with the knob.” A wide smile spread across your face at him calling you 'his girlfriend', you leaned towards him almost, eager to soak in every word.

“Fuck you, Eddie,” Gareth spat out, Eddie rolled his tongue inside of his cheek at the comment, it looked like Gareth wasn't just going to go away silently, and Eddie wasn't sure if he could hold off the storm brewing inside of him if Gareth dared to talk about you again.

“Selling off your friends for a cheer slut—”

THUMP!

The sound that resonated in your ears before Gareth laid on the ground beneath you, it happened all so fast, Eddie's veins pulsating with the surging rage before his fists collided with Gareth's cheek.

Your mouth hung open, words trapped in your throat as your voice failed you in the face of disbelief.

Eddie cowered over him, the rest of the guys standing in shock as they tried to hold him back, they didn't need to, Eddie was done with Gareth.

“I told you to not fuckin' speak about her, was that not clear?” He spat out his words with seething anger. Gareth looked back at him with a groan.

“Then let this be a lesson for you.” He sneered.

It was all blurry, Gareth still groaning and mumbling under his breath as he left without a goodbye, the rest of the guys apologizing as they took care of Gareth, congratulating the two of you before he left to probably get that poor boy some ice.

“Well... I'd say that went pretty well?” A mischievous glint sparkled in his eyes, and you giggled at Eddie's inability to defuse the tension in the room.

“'M so sorry...” You straightened your posture, lifting your head to meet Eddie's soft gaze.

“Are you kidding?” He asked, eyes glinting with admiration.

“I don't care about him,” He scoffed.

“He doesn't fucking get to talk about you like that, and he doesn't deserve to be in my life,” His firm stance and unwavering eye contact were signaling you that he meant every word he was saying, he got sick of Gareth's shit, that's why this had happened, not because of you.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, honey,” He muttered, pressing soft kisses into your hair, he was trying to relieve you of your guilt, telling you that this was all on Gareth.

He leaned slightly forward, subtly closing the distance between you and him. “Now see,” He muttered, “Why can't it just be like this?” He couldn't help but reach out to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face, his touch tender as his fingers ached to touch you.

“Why do other people in the world have to exist, huh?” Every time he spoke to you, his voice took on a softer, almost more mellow tone, as if he was savoring the words to speak to you on his lips.

Your head tilted slightly with a giggle, eager to absorb every word he uttered. Each touch, each gaze you shared, sent an unwavering contentment through his entire being, more than you realized.

[angelst4re]

heyy!! so I was wondering if you could do a like a oneshot of being enemies with jace and him teasing you about liking him and then it ending with him eating the reader out?? IM SO SORRY ITS VERY SPECIFIC LMFOOAOAOAOOA 💀💀

hi love!! ahh i had so much fun writing this!! i was tired when i wrote this so i got a bit carried away at the end and kinda turned this into an enemies to lovers... but i hope you like it!!

Heavenly Fire- Jace x Fem!Reader (he has too many last names.)

summary: in the request!

warnings: NSFW!! smut! porn with minimal plot... oral (f recieving)(jace is the king of giving head), fingering, first time(?), but no actual sex </3

notes: i couldn't think of a title for this :( fun fact: my shower isn't working right now that is what inspired me to write this! also i feel like i nailed jace's personality in this one, i always find it hard when i'm writing for jace because of his personality but this one...

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“God! Do you ever shut up?!” You turned around to Jace, who was following you towards the kitchen as Isabelle had just made lunch. 

“Now, I know I’ve been called heavenly, but a God? I’ve not heard that before.” He teased, earning an evil stare from you. 

“What are you talking about?” Isabelle asked, placing some bowls on the table of what appeared to be soup? 

“Jace is being a-“

“Y/n confessed her everlasting love to me, we’re getting married next week, I better go and inform Alec and Magnus-“ 

“Oh shut up, Jace! You know I don’t like you!” You gave Jace a shove before you sat down at the table. He snickered as he sat down opposite you, clearly happy with your reaction. 

“Keep telling yourself that, love.” He said under his breath before Isabelle joined the two of you at the table. 

There was no denying Jace was attractive, it was almost annoying how he always looked perfect. His perfect blonde hair and his perfect eyes and his perfect smirk and his perfect body- But that wasn’t why you hated him. You hated him because he was such an asshole all the time. He knew he was good looking, and he was overly confident- or so it seemed to you. He never had an issue when it came to one night stands, but you noticed he could never hold down a relationship. You would never see him with the same girl more than once, sometimes twice on the odd occasion. Even you had longer relationships than that (although Isabelle would say being together for 5 days didn’t count as a relationship.)

After finishing the soup Izzy had made, you gave Jace one last glance before standing up and placing your bowl by the sink. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

After a long day of training, it was no surprise that you were sweaty and needed a shower. So, naturally, you headed to your bathroom, locked the door and began to undress. But there was a problem. 

Your shower wasn’t working.

You sighed and stepped back out, taking your robe which was hanging up by the door and slipping it on, tying it up, and unlocking the bathroom door again. 

You hoped that Isabelle would let you use her bathroom, as the spare bathrooms were tiny and quite frankly disgusting. But as you got closer to her room, you could hear music being played, and as you put your ear to the door you heard not only Isabelle’s voice but also Simon’s. You quickly dismissed this idea. 

But that meant you only had one more option. Jace. 

Alec was most probably at Magnus’ apartment, so you could use his shower- but you wouldn’t want to do so without asking him first. So you had no other choice. 

You felt a strange buzz of anxiety in your belly as you knocked on Jace’s door, all you wanted to do was have a shower, there’s nothing to be anxious about!

As he opened the door, you were met with a shirtless Jace, his hair damp and slightly wavy, his-

“Come to discuss our wedding, love?” He teased you, eyeing you up and down, trying to figure out if you were actually wearing anything beneath your robe. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding and shook your head. 

“Jace, look, my shower isn’t working and Izzy has Simon over. I didn’t want to have to bother you but-”

“You want to take a shower with me? Without taking me to dinner first? Wow-”

“No, no! I meant, I- You-” You suddenly became quite flustered, unable to think of anything other than the sight of him in the shower, hair dripping, the way the water would fall on his body- Stop! You were sure you were blushing now, and as you looked back up at him, he confirmed it with a devilish smirk. 

“What’s got you so pink in the face, sweetheart? I thought you hated me?” He taunted you, and you couldn’t take it any more. The throbbing between your thighs was becoming almost painful as you wrapped your arms around his neck and captured his lips with yours in a needy kiss. You couldn’t help but think about what this would do to his ego. He was going to become unbearable to live with, but in the moment you couldn’t help yourself. He was so fucking hot, you could never truly hate him. 

You pushed him backwards a little, so you were both in his room with the door shut. If Isabelle saw the two of you right now, she would never shut up about it, telling you I told you so. You always denied your feelings towards Jace, hiding them with hatred, and he always expressed his feelings through teasing you, causing you to ‘hate’ him even more. 

Quickly, you pull away from Jace before he had the chance to rest his hands on your waist. 

“Oh, fuck!” You hid your face with your hands, turning away from Jace. You were such an idiot. 

“What is it? Did I do something wrong, I-” Jace genuinely seemed confused, and quite panicked by your sudden change in attitude. 

“No. Well, actually, yes you have. You’re such an asshole, Jace. But I can’t help every time I see your perfect fucking face, or your… What I’m trying to say is this was a mistake. I-” You were shut up by lips crashing into yours once more, this time more passionate than the last. His hand cupped your face as the other held your waist, leading the two of you closer and closer towards the bed. He must have seen the way your eyes were so lust-blown only a few moments ago, as his hand creeped towards the place where your robe was tied, and within seconds it had fallen to the floor. 

You would have felt nervous, even anxious about your body being on display like this, especially in front of Jace as he pulled away from the kiss, but as soon as you saw the way he was looking at you, your worries disappeared. His lips were slightly parted, his eyes half-lidded, his chest rising and falling as his breathing became heavier. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his hand gently placed on your shoulder. He slid it down your body, touching you for the first time. He gently caressed your breasts, massaging the soft flesh as small whimpers left your lips and your eyes fell shut. He took a moment to toy with your nipples, and that was when you let out an almost pornographic moan. At that, he dropped to his knees, his hand sliding down your torso until it rested just above your cunt. 

He placed kisses along your thighs before looking up at you, as if asking for permission. You eagerly nodded your head, you desperately needed him to touch you. 

He moved slightly and took one of your legs, lifting it over his shoulder to put your slick pussy on full display for him. He parted your lips with two fingers, before leaning in and swiping his tongue along your clit. The action was so sudden that your knees buckled beneath you, so he moved once more and pushed you down onto the bed. As your back fell onto the mattress, he pulled you closer to him so your knees were hanging off his bed. Then, he resumed his attack on your clit. 

“Oh fuck! Jace!” You groaned, slapping one hand over your mouth and tangling the other in his hair as he ate you out. 

He sucked you clit between his lips, earning a string of moans to fall from your lips, and that’s when he decided to trace his finger over your hole, before replacing it with his thumb. He eased the tip of his thumb in before pulling it out again, watching as your hole pulsed, begging for more. 

Without any warning, he slipped his middle finger into you and curled it upwards in a ‘come here’ motion as he continued sucking, lipping and nipping at your clit. Your back arched and your legs wrapped around the man between your thighs, pulling him impossibly closer to you. 

“Shh, it’s okay, angel. Think you can take another one?” He teased, bringing a second finger to your entrance. 

Jace had assumed you were a virgin, and he was right. However, he knew you had touched yourself before. Occasionally, you would think you were home alone and your hand would travel between your thighs, small moans and whimpers would fall from your lips as Jace passed by your room. It took all his strength to simply walk past, especially when you would moan his name.

He slipped the second finger in, and you felt that familiar feeling in your belly. However, this time it felt ten times stronger. You were worried that you would actually explode when you reached your high. 

“I know you’ve been wanting this, angel. Coming undone on my fingers, my tongue. Pretending you hate me, but I could see straight through you. I knew all along you were just a little slut, isn’t that right? I knew just how jealous you would get whenever a girl would come home with me, just how angry it would make you. But it’s okay, they never meant anything,” his thumb replaced his mouth on your clit as he spoke, and his words went straight to your core, “I knew all along you wanted to be my girl. Cum for me and I’ll make your wish come true, cum on my fingers, darling, I know you’re close. 

Just as your orgasm washed over you and your thighs began to tremble, Jace leaned down and captured your lips with his. You couldn’t help but moan against his lips, followed by strings of profanities as his fingers continued to pump inside you, working through your high. You had never felt so… wonderful. You were gasping for air but Jace’s lips were still on yours, you could even taste yourself on his tongue. 

You wrapped both of your arms around him and held him close, hoping he would lie by your side when you finally came back to reality. However, he escaped from your arms and went into the bathroom to retrieve a soft, damp cloth to clean you up with. 

“Stay still for me, darling.” He chuckled as he spread your legs to clean up your messy cunt, but your thighs kept pressing together. However, he managed to clean you up and threw the cloth to the corner of the room, to a pile of clothes that needed washing. 

He helped you up the bed, so your head was against the pillows, and lied beside you, pulling you close to him in a warm embrace as your head rested on his chest. 

He stroked your bare back, causing you to shiver slightly as it tickled, which seemed to amuse Jace. 

“So what does this mean?” You asked, moving your head to look up at Jace who was sitting against the headboard, one arm behind his head. 

“What does what mean?” 

“Everything you said, about being yours?”

Jace took a moment to think, and you were filled with a sudden panic that he didn’t mean what he said, that it just felt right in the moment. 

“You can use my shower, sweetheart. When you’re finished, get changed into something nice, or not- but I don’t think you’d want to wear leggings and a hoodie on your first date.” He said, a smirk creeping up on his lips. 

“Are you, the Jace Herondale- who never dates- asking me out on a date?” 

“No, I’m not asking you,” he chuckled, playing with your hair, “darling, I’m telling you.”

[sixosix]

( a/n ) light angst, hurt/comfort, PROFANITY WARNING, guys im so sorry this is so short but its all im capable of rn

special mention TYSM @earthtooz for proofreading i owe u my soul

he’s always been a little sensitive to people caring for him. he’s used to taking care of others, to have his parents let him get away with everything, and he’s spent his life isolating himself from people who would see him past what he is but for who he is.

reo rolls his shoulder to shove your hand off of him, frowning at the wall. “you know me well enough already, don’t you? you know that i hate it when you get like this.”

“this isn’t good for you, reo. you’re destroying yourself,” you snarl, jabbing at his back. “i’m sick of seeing you like this. i’m not a babysitter, nor your therapist.”

“i’m not asking you to worry about me, am i?” he snaps, finally turning to meet your eyes.

anger boils in your chest, but you let it simmer with a few deep breaths. reo isn’t thinking properly right now, raving on and on about not working hard enough, and how he isn’t catching up. “there isn’t a professional boundary between us, i care for you because i love you. right now, when you say shit like that? i can barely give a fuck about you anymore.”

reo’s sharp scowl falters around the edges, giving way to confusion. “where are you going?” he demands when you make your way to the door.

“away,” you say, slipping your shoes on and refusing to look at him. “you said you need space, right? then i’ll give it to you. we’re over.”

“fine.” his tone is biting, but his voice sounds strange. “fine…”

he’s still lethargic, you tell yourself; he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and he’ll regret it later. but he doesn’t stop you.

maybe if you were to glance back at him one last time, you’d see the broken expression on his face hitting him right after.

from the start, reo’s always been expecting you would leave him. everyone does that to him, anyway. even nagi, who he still considers his best friend. it was a little too good to be true with you, so he tells himself that this was bound to happen. that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when it finally happens.

reo groans, shoving his face into his pillow. his friends snicker at his misery, so reo does what he needs to and flips them off with two hands. but as a groveling man with his face hidden by his sheets, it does not paint the intimidating picture he wanted.

“it hasn’t even been that long,” nagi remarks. he doesn’t spare reo a glance so unfortunately, he doesn’t get see reo flashing him with his middle finger.

“mmrgh,” reo says, still pressed against his bed.

isagi pats him on the shoulder, which doesn’t help anyone, but it’s the thought that counts.

“record him, record him, do it,” bachira says, clapping nagi on the back repeatedly, his strength enough to jostle him back and forth. obediently, nagi follows, pointing his phone camera right at a moping reo.

“day two without y/n,” nagi says to his future audience. “barely holding on.”

“i feel awful,” reo groans. “y/n blocked me.”

“do you regret what you said?” isagi asks.

“‘course i do,” reo hisses, offended that he would even ask that. “i was an asshole. y/n was right—y/n’s always right. i’m stupid.”

bachira snorts, “keep fighting, reo!” and barely manages to dodge the pillow thrown his way.

the camera pans back to reo, who’s looking red in the face, awfully pathetic. “fuck off. don’t post that. y/n’s gonna see it and make fun of me when we’re back again.”

nagi posts it anyway.

chigiri hums thoughtfully, waving a hand in front of your face. “you don’t look like you moved on to me.”

you splutter, shoving his phone back onto him. you feel your heart pound in your ears and with the way chigiri smiles knowingly, you almost wonder if he can hear it, too. “shut up! why did he say that? i hate him.”

“sure you do. say what?”

“‘when we’re back together again’ like he’s so sure about it,” you try to say it like you’re angry, but your expression resembles reo from that video. it doesn’t come out as you want it.

reo looks much better now. nagi says that reo religiously followed your advice right after and has been faring better, which is a real shame since you can’t even see it for yourself. he looks less pale and much brighter, but instead of the anger you last saw him with, he’s just become a carbon copy of a wet blanket.

“aren’t you?” chigiri watches the post again, just to torment you with your sniveling ex. “getting back together again, i mean.”

“i’m leaving.”

“yeah? and go where? reo’s bed?”

“i’ll strangle you!”

[ilovechubbieguys]

please yumi enemies to lovers I NEED it…..didn’t get to vote …..

Omg...YES it tied so i didnt know which to do One to do so im using this as a tie breaker!!! Thank youuu<3333

Also just fyi this is gonna be pretty long and i will have a more extended version on my wattpad acc which ill link at the end and when i do post it on my wattpad i will also link but it might take longer!!

------------------------🍓------------------------

"AS IF"

Chapter -1

"God your such an asshole! I dont know why i ever fell for you i shoulda known better."

"Cmon y/n you know you love me"

"As if."

------------------2 weeks before----------------

Y/ns POV

I set the last box down in the living room of my new house i had just moved into. "Finally" i quietly said to myself. I moved all the way from montana to texas just to get away from my family, or just my dad, i suppose..

I sat on the floor of my box flooded house just staring at the ceiling not knowing what to do from here. Where was i gonna work, what if no one would hire me, what if- i cut off my own thought realizing i was thinking into it to much and i be just fine on my own

Though it did worry me and stress me out to a point. Normally, when i was stressed, i smoked, and right now was no exception. So i hopped in my Jeep Wrangler and tried to find the closest smoke shop and headed in not sure what i was even gonna get yet.

I opened the door and say a group of 3 guys laughing loudly and just being annoying. "Great.." i said under my breath. I walked around the small store generally trying to avoid the group of 3, but as i decided what i wanted and turned to walk to the from i was abruptly stopped as i bumped right into a tall guys chest.

"Oh my god im so sorry i wasnt paying attention!" I tried to explain a little scared of the tall figure "no no no its ok its my fault" he replyed quickly, not sure what to say i stand infront of him not saying anything "im issac"

"Oh, im y/n.." you said, looking at your feet. "Those 2 over there are tanner and yumi" he said, pointing at the remaining guys over by the gummies. Yumi? I said it my head. What an unusual name, never head it before. "Oh ok, well, im sorry again for bumping into you," i aay and start to go around the man now known to be issac. "Hey wait uh y/n" he said blocking me from going any further "we where gonna have a get together with a couple other friends ar out house, you should come" i act like im thinking about it " i dont know.." i say since im not sure if i should just go into this strangers house, i don't even know him.

"Here hand me your phone" i give him a confused look "just let me see it real quick" i slowly pull my phone out open it and hand it to him "here" i say quitly. He starts typing on it and hands it back "if you change your mind i gave you my number and texted you my address" i look down at my phone and low and behold there it was. I look at the address and realize its the house directly next to mine

"Ya ill text you.." i say and he walks away along with the other 2 guys he named off as tanner and yumi.

(PART II OUT NOW)

[burntb4bydoll]

OMGG could you please write 2023!Tom with like a daddy kink if that’s okay? he’s literally just looks so…

UM YES?? IVE LITERALLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS EXACT IDEA FOR LIKE A WEEK NOW BUT DIDNT KNOW IF PEOPLE WOULD THINK ITS WEIRD OR SOMETHING

2023 Tom Kaulitz x fem!reader

Summery: you just want some attention from Tom :(

Warnings: daddy kink, hair pulling, praising, fingering, oral (fem!receiving) no real sex, Tom gives reader the princess treatment🤭

“Baby, please. Im doing something right now.” You dramatically huff out a breath and throw yourself onto the couch. Tom just rolls his eyes and continues to do whatever it is that he needed to finish on his laptop. You had been trying to get him to notice you for the past 3 hours, you had even took off your pants and walked around the house wearing nothing but his shirt and a lacy pair of underwear. Still nothing.

An idea pops into your head that makes you grin widely. You slowly creep closer to him and lean up against his side, tucking you head into his neck to give him light kisses. He doesn’t engage with you and continues to quickly type away on the small keyboard.

“I want your attention, please daddy..” his fingers suddenly stop typing, and his eyes open widely. He gazes down at you and you give him a little smile. The laptop was quickly shut and he moves your body so that you’re laying on the couch. His fingers slide up your throat and gently squeezes.

“What did you say?” He didn’t sound angry, he sounded flustered. You bring your hand up to hold onto his wrist and pout your lips out at him,

“I was just saying how I wanted your attention, daddy.” The confused look on his face slowly morphed into a look of lust. He pulls you into a messy kiss, moving his knee to rest in between your legs. One of his hands remains on your throat and the other comes up to tangle in your hair, giving it a tug to make you tip you head back.

“Such a needy girl, aren’t you? Making me stop my work to play with you,” he scoffs quietly “you needed daddy’s attention that bad?” You can feel your body start to heat up at the nickname he called himself. Honestly, you didn’t think he would enjoy it too much, you just wanted to get a rise out of him. His hand gives you hair another tug and you groan,

“Mhm. I’ve been waiting for you to pay attention to me all day.” He smirks at how out of breath you sound.

“Well, I’m paying attention to you now. What do you want baby? You want my fingers? My mouth?” You nod your head as much as you can with his hand still gripping it tightly.

“Want both, daddy. Please..” he releases you from both of his hand and moves down to lay between your legs, pulling your underwear down with his teeth.

“Oh? You’re so greedy, princess.” He laughs, and you could feel his breath hit your soaking wet core. You arched your back slightly and a sharply inhaled. His hands massaged your thighs as he kissed around where you needed him the most. Not only had he been ignoring you, but now he’s teasing you? What an asshole.

“Tom..stop teasing, asshole.” Your words came out sounding demanding, which made his raise an eyebrow at you. You regret using that tone with him, but it was too late to take it back now. His hand comes back up to squeeze your throat harder than he had done before and pulled you to look at him.

“Hey, I was being nice and giving you what you’ve been begging for and thats how you talk to me? Say sorry.” Now he was the one demanding things.

“I didn’t mean it. ‘M sorry daddy..” you bat your eyelashes at him, trying to make him ease up on you. Luckily, he’ll give you whatever you want as long as you ask nicely. So he runs his tongue up your cunt until he reaches your clit. He starts to draw slow circles on it as two of his fingers poke through your entrance. You throw your legs over his shoulders and gently stroke his hair with one of your hands. “You’re so good, daddy. I love when you use your mouth~” you knew that being sweet to him would only make him give in to your desires more. He pulls his face away from you but keeps up the steady pace of his fingers.

“Yeah? You’re being such a good girl for me, baby.” You smile at him before he dives back down to suck on your sensitive clit. Whines and breathy moans leave your mouth as his fingers start to speed up. He can feel your legs start to clamp around his head and your walls start to tighten around his fingers. He curls his fingers inside of you, successfully hitting your g-spot repeatedly. Your hands tug on his long hair and he groans into your pussy.

“I know you’re close, I can feel it. Cum for me princess. Cum for daddy..” he cooed, watching as your eyes roll back and your back arch off the couch cushion. Your orgasm made your head spin, and you were mumbling all sorts of incoherent things without even realizing. Tom just smirks, knowing he’s no where near finished with you yet.

[rotthepoet]

Content: Hogwarts University AU, no use of y/n, im like 99% sure no use of pronouns besides You and maybe Them, lorenzo being a bitch, Blackmailing, Panic Attacks, Mentions of Alcohol consumption, please let me know if i forgot anything i tend to black out while writing these

Okay can we talk about asshole boyfriend Lorenzo some more? Because once this man woo’s you after bullying you incessantly he tries to be as good and kind to you as he can.

Which is kinda hard for a “fuck bitches, get money” kinda guy like him.

He does it in his own special way 😻

All of his gifts are lowkey kinda backhanded. “The shirt you wore to the house party last week was kind of… ugly. So i got you this new one instead” kinda vibe.

He really does like you and wants to take care of you. He just…

Hes working on it, guys.

He tears his arm away from you if you try to cling onto it in the hallway- then he remembers hes a committed man and makes an effort. Going from many hoes to “this wonderful person i think could be my equal” is a weird step for him. Commitment issues? Perchance. Hes more comfortable after a while, wrapping a possessive arm around you

Oh that doesnt mean he isnt a jealous soul tho.

I don’t think Lorenzo is a fighting type… he might pay Mattheo to beat someone up tho.

Lorenzo is king of blackmail. He will find(or make)… inappropriate… pictures of some people to get what he wants.

And what he wants is his pookie(you) to not be hit on.

Get where im going?

Okay lowkey he might try to blackmail you too if you threaten to breakup with him because hes a little bitch.

He will threaten to post video of you he has saved. Leak some freaky texts.

Hes all talk tho, he doesnt want anyone seeing your body but him. If you’re brave and leave anyways he’s SHAKEN.

Like seriously- shaking with rage because #1. How fucking dare you?????? #2. His chest hurts so bad and he cant breathe and hes crying for some reason and fuck he cant think about anything but how he sounded in that moment and hes shaking and fuck hes having a panic attack.

He grovels at your feet for the next few days/weeks/hell even months if he needs to, until you take him back. Its pathetic really. Hes following you around like a puppy. Hes staring at you constantly and whining to anyone who will listen, and hes getting high asf and trying to text you on literally every social media platform.

He misses you so much. Hes buying you so many presents and trying to sit next to you in every class and trying to write you love letters. Hes never felt this empty before.

He pulls up to your dorm shit faced and crying and begging for you because he cant calm down. He sobs into your chest and he cries about how much he wants you(this man is so scared to say love)

And i mean how are you supposed to say no to those puppy dog eyes?

[cal-writes]

honestly, i am SO beyond worried for zoro at this point in terms of his Emotional state cause like ???? man's feel like he hasn't really had a chance for his feelings to blow up in his face yet cause He Keeps Shoving Everything Down For The Sake Of Doing His Job / literally trying to constantly keep everyone (else) alive. (also cause idk why but something about zoro these days just feels like there's some kinda tickling clock over his head since we basically know all the other strawhats inside & out, but zoro's story is like So Bare Bones i feel idk yes, i'm looking at you specifically, wci) that's not even getting into my fear for his PHYSICAL state cause that injection Dr. Goat Man (i forgot his name rn) gave him being like This Adrenaline Shot Will Keep You Going But It'll Only Multiply Your Pain Afterwards or whatever and like 👁️👁️ i know he was out for like two weeks i think post-wano so that was probably his body resting up since then but like .... M A N .

🤝 you and me both. its hard to tell if oda is going somewhere with it all or if zoros already had all the story oda is going to tell. i hope not but. it would be kind of poetic to have zoros arc be at the end since he was the second main character introduced and the past chapters seem to be building up towards some kind of confrontation

in general zoro has been a lot more tense since the time skip which is to be expected

like zoro understands their position more than most and has seen and has carried the consequences of them not being prepared before

its very oldest sibling of him. like i cant have fun i need to think about what everyones having for dinner

like he was fucking stressed getting off egghead bc they were being persued by an elder when he was already exhausted from fighting lucci. people say he was being prideful for not wanting to abandon the lucci fight as if zoro isn’t perfectly fine with running away (ive gone into it before but tldr zoros insisted beating lucci so lucci wouldnt fucking snitch on their escape route - which then of course happened)

not to mention this whole thing

even after that hes still very serious but hes always been more concerned than luffy about things

(tho oda splitting the group up gives me hope bc less people means he has more time for each of them)

regarding the wano fight… i want there to be more to it but again, not sure if its not already “done” from oda’s perspective. i hope its not but etc etc

like you cant just drop literal death and just never mention it again (please)

(it reminds me of the critical role vox machina campaign where a character died and made a deal with a death goddess to remain with the party until the quest was done so by the end he was taken away - love the drama of it all but hope thats not it)

maybe in the new arc thriller bark will come up again. bonney has kumas memories so she knows now as do brook robin and sanji. if sanjis allowed to be a real character and have some more plot maybe his “germa transformation” will make him be an asshole and tell everyone.

(im hoping that odas friendship with zoros live action actor will make him give him more material tbha gdjhahs)

but yeah we will have to wait and see. considering oda has been pretty good about payoff so far im cautious optimistic but im not holding my breath

[uhhhitsme]

@missholloween um im so sorry in advance i know we dont interact a lot.......... but i have an. abnormal amount of feelings about this song. way too many feelings. this time its not my fault tho okay!! smy was the one who recced it to me!! curse you smytherines..............................

this song to me is VERY very post-fall curt centric, but also details a lot of flaws within curt himself pre-fall. the gist of the song is about a person who's lost someone they cared about, and wishes that they had properly expressed how much they cared about them before, and appreciated what they had.

one thing that's always confused me about the fandom characterisation of agent curt is that like..................... it's always either he's this sad little puppy trailing after owen like a dog on a leash, constantly being taken care of, or that he's this completely dismissive asshole who cares infinitely more about being a spy and himself to give two shits about owen until it's too late. the first one IS a lot more common but i see the second one enough that it bothers me.

and the thing is, both are missing the point massively---the interpretation of pre-fall curt to me that's always made the most sense is the idea that curt does care about owen, cares so impossibly much, that he can hardly stand it. but he's not good at letting himself say it.

he's grown up in the 1930s and 40s constantly entrenched in the idea that the ideal man is someone who provides for and takes care of others, who isn't emotional or weak or makes mistakes, who isn't vulnerable. we a lot of curt putting significance on that through spying in the show, trying to project this suave, macho, brave spy who isn't afraid of anything or anyone, who's always going to defeat the bad guys and win. in "this is a safe space" he's described with a massive messiah/saviour complex, and he himself admits he feels a huge obligation to being the one who saves the world. that he doesn't see much value in himself, outside of being that perfect, fearless hero.

and since he put so much value on himself being that flawless person---that hero, that incredible spy, that no real human being could actually always be---i think that being vulnerable with owen would have also been hard for him. that letting himself being taken care of would make him feel weak, and ashamed. that he couldn't express how terrified he was of losing him, of how much he loved him, for the fear that owen would love him less for not being the incredible spy he wants to be. that's why he did a lot of what he did in a1p1---because a part of him needs to prove he is that impossible person, after needing saving by the person he's supposed to save and then ribbed at by his boss on call in front of that same person.

he needs to be the hero, the strong one, because he's afraid of owen leaving him if he isn't. and because of that, he leaves a lot unsaid. i think the actual lyrics from the song put it really welll

i couldn't utter my love when it counted ah, but i'm singing like a bird 'bout it now and i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted ah, but i'm singing like a bird 'bout it now words hung above but never would form like a cry at the final breath that is drawn

additionally, one of the running metaphors throughout the song is the singer being the "shrike to [singer's ex] thorn." a shrike is a type of carnivorous bird that kills it's prey by impaling them on thorns, which, first of all: metal as hell. second of all, the implication is that the singer can't survive without their lover, because a shrike would not be able to survive without it's thorns---it couldn't kill prey and therefore couldn't eat to survive.

i think this metaphor works really really well also with the idea that the only reason that curt was able to keep going, post-fall, was because he thought owen wouldn't want him to. i could go on a WHOLE other rant about that if i wanted to because i feel the extreme need to reference the show constantly for proof so i dont feel like a liar and a fraud who's making things up in my head, but for the sake of time, the best indicator of this to me is the lyrics in spy again. you know the ones. (im too lazy to grab them.)

anyways yeah everyone who respects agent curt mega should add this to their curtwen playlist NOW. THERE IS SO MUCH OTHER STUFF I COULDNT GET INTO BUT SERIOUSLY THIS SONG IS SO SO SO PERFECT FOR HIM

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

this is far overdue, so heres an introduction post

• you can call me queenie, im keeping my real name anonymous • muslim (feel free to ask any questions, idm, theres no stupid questions only misinformation) • minor • my birthday is march 20th, astrology is full of shit because i am the epitome of a gemini but apparently im a pisces ??? no • she/her • poc • intp (i know way too much about mbti and not enough about other forms of typology, like socionics, enneagram, etc) • self-diagnosed autistic • my special interests include writing (either original work or fanfics) and psychology • hobbies include hyperfixating, reading, writing, listening to music, and ranting to my friends about books ive recently read

on this blog pretty much all i do is talk about my fandoms, which may include:

• riordanverse • shadowhunters • the folk of the air • the ascendance series • heartstopper • anne with an e

(its mostly the first two tho)

and then the slew of anime i watch, which ill link here

my asks are also open in case youd like to request headcanons or fanfics, but obviously i cant do it if i dont know the fandom, so please if its anything anime/manga related, i cant guarantee that ill know it, so try to include the name in the ask

i also have a side blog @queenie-says-free-palestine. dont think i need to clarify what the posts are abt

uquiz masterlist (uquizzes i made):

• assigning you an ascendance series kin • choose something about me and ill decide if i like you or not • i assign you a percy jackson kin except the questions are stupid

more to come

kinlist here

my tags:

#queenie doesnt shut up #eka asks

dni if you are:

• zionist • ableist • sexist (that counts as misogyny OR supporting #killallmen) • racist • religiophobic (including antisemitism) • xenophobic • proshipper • sexualise minors (real OR fictional. idc if you age them up)

masterlist of my writing

i do have an ao3 account, which i will link here, but i only have like two works up on there as of april 2023

i also have a wattpad account, but its just the same fics as my ao3 account

also please follow the writing blog i made with my friendsss

tagging people who deserve some love:

irl: @itadori-yujiii - sister who is always on the receiving end of my rants @tinadablackthorn - other sister, sometimes forget she exists tbh @greenmanwiththesauce - asshole friend who exists solely to make me question my existence @velversess - my parabatai ily @1tomie1 - one of my irl friends who is literally me but not really @maybecordelia - cousin but also best friend also my fangirl buddy 🫶🫶 @ada-apolog1st - frenemy 😘😘

online (all of which are very cool people w amazing taste) @aliciasfantasyxox - online-friend-in-law we have not conversed but hello @moondust-on-the-hijabi - one of the first friends i made on here :D lovely lady lin rules over EVERYTHINGGG @that-multi-fandom-hijabi - ARAB MUSLIM AROACES UNITE !!!! @nerdy-girl3791 - showed up one day n i love seeing you around yes hello @sleepy-vix - someone who likes heartstopper, bsd, sk8, thats hot people shit right there @loife1m - LOLLIPOP :DD my love you are a breath of heaven walking upon this beautiful earth STAY STRONG BABES @someonewhogotanaccount - rambling twinsies whos basically a confused n optimistic me @heartstars - MY LITTLE SISTER I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH @reyna-obsessed - my darling mini come lets be gremlins together @hijabi-desi-bookworm - STOP CALLING ME [redacted nickname] OR I SWEAR TO GOD ILL SMITE YOU (jk ily esme<33)

yea thats pretty much it, may update later idk

[cloudjumpervalka]

brain thought stuff

so ive been doing weekly therapy again for the past couple months and as i mentioned before i love my therapist. shes my age and also trans so ? thats great. all my other therapists have been older women that made me explain what being trans/nb is over and over again despite labeling themselves as lgbt friendly therapists lmao

anyway like. im really discovering how ingrained my low self worth is into my brain bc it really did start with my earliest memories and just kept getting into more toxic situations

i was emotionally neglected growing up and bullied k-12 for a plethora of reasons. when i did get my first friendships/relationship, they were like. borderline abusive* (both my therapist and i are hesitant with this word)

i have years of feeling like my self worth is reliant on how unhealthy people view my usefulness to their life?

i need to like. learn how to find myself worthy of just existing. worthy of waking up and being able to, as my therapist said, "breathe, eat, and fuck"

it feels really weird too bc i have spent years feeling like a waste of a person and like. inheritely a horrible person who is too self absorbed to realize it. i know i have made mistakes and could have handled these situations better, but it doesnt define me as a person. i try every day to be a better person for myself and my loved ones and its always weird to hear "well an actually shitty person wouldnt care about getting better" bc i then trick myself into being im one of those assholes utilizing therapy talk to justify my shit behavior

idr why i started this lil vent but like. idk it feels like therapy is working this time. its helping me realize some things, its helping me learn how to not fall into the same patterns (my therapist said im like an addict that cant leave unhealthy situations) , learning where my values lie and how to pick those values out in other people

most importantly tho, shes having me try to not define myself as an artist but rather someone that makes art. i have so much fucked up brain layers over my self worth and it being tied to what i create, i was starting to have like mini breakdowns over not getting enough attention for my work, which shouldnt matter bc i should do work for myself.

ive gone back to sketching in a real sketchbook and not posting a lot of my work bc then i am doing it strictly for myself. but maybe ill post a sketch collection at a later date for fun.

i still want to work on "angelkin" project aka SERAPH. which is an art project i started a yearish ago that is a self biographical look at these most "toxic" relationships and the feelings of devotion/obsession with uh. spoilers: the 3 people in my life that threatened suicide to various degrees/reasons towards me. bigger spoilers, imagine this also being tied in to my own self worth being connected to how well i can be Everything to someone. hence the angel theming

eh whatever, i hope you enjoyed my ted talk bc my lunch break at work is over now LOL

[carry-on-every-neverland-magic]

Tears of the Kingdom is fucking beautiful

MILD SPOILERS

Okay so I have just completed the Great Sky Island (but am definitely gonna go back as some places I couldn’t get to and I need to stock up on stuff plus the nice constructs like the cooking ones etc are so freakin cute) but man this is so epic I mean I love Breath of the Wild even though I was late getting it, I’m not a gamer but Zelda and Animal Crossing are my jam and what I love about BOTW and TOTK is its you own adventure like sometimes I literally just ride my horse around looking at pretty ruins. TOTK is as phenomenal and beautiful as BOTW with that extra element of fun which makes different from BOTW because of all these new tricks and such but BOTW is magical and epic and charming and TOTK is too and I love all the new things like brightbloom flowers and a weird frog in a cave THERES SO MUCH and by FUCK the moment I dived from the great sky island down to Hyrule CHILLS MAN. I just love the imagination, the lore, the humour, the adventure, the beauty (and the fact that someone said Zelda is like lotr and I think thats why I love it so much) I’m just immersed I got zero sleep last night playing it xD But am really glad I figured everything out by myself. BOTW I had watched a lot of people play so I kinda had a plan going in like I wanted to unlock all the map, get all the armour etc to be able to freely travel and I loved that (and I used guides only for labyrinths and asshole shrines I couldn’t get past lol) but TOTK I wanna try and do it with no help. I haven’t even finished my last divine beast in BOTW xD I just love these games so much and I feel so excited and hyped playing TOTK im sobbing ON THE FLOOR its everything 

[erabundus]

anonymous && said... msg from katxgirlxoxo:

hi wanderer, i hope you don't mind messages but im a fan of your streams! you make games look easy. figured id try to reach out and say hi!

it's  purely  by  chance  that  ren  happens  to  open  the  message.  he's  scrolling  through  his  phone  —  largely  for  the  sake  of  keeping  his  hands  OCCUPIED.  he  feels  exhausted  in  a  way  that  words  hardly  manage  to  do  justice,  and  his  head  feels  like  it's  been  trapped  in  a  vice  that  just  keeps  squeezing  tighter.  his  breakfast  (  though  ren  supposes  it's  closer  to  lunch  now  )  is  a  VERY  NUTRITIOUS  pairing  of  ibuprofen  and  a  granola  bar  —  the  latter  of  which  he  takes  a  bite  out  of  and  can't  help  but  marvel  at  its  resemblance,  both  in  terms  of  taste  and  texture,  to  cardboard. 

he  looks  away  for  just  a  moment  to  toss  out  the  wrapper,  and  accidentally  clicks  the  dm  mid-scroll.  ren  blinks  down  at  his  phone.  ah,  damn.  well  now  it's  kind  of  an  asshole  move  to  leave  a  fan  on  READ  —  and  while  he  is  very  much  an  asshole  kind  of  person,  he  knows  the  importance  of  maintaining  a  positive  relationship  with  his  AUDIENCE.  they  are  the  ones  effectively  signing  his  paychecks,  after  all.  the  streamer  grumbles  a  bit  under  his  breath  as  he  pops  the  last  of  the  granola  bar  into  his  mouth.  (  what  flavor  even  is  this?  it  seems  STALE.  )  he  supposes  it  wouldn't  kill  him  to  say  something.  he's  been  occasionally  known  to  reply  to  people  —  even  if  it's  just  to  send  a  low  effort  little  emoji.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑: lmao thanks 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑: i think most of the people i play with are just worse 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑: ... kidding 😇 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑: but yeah. i appreciate it.

there. social interaction accomplished. he thinks he might go reward himself with a much-needed cup of COFFEE. ( hopefully that will be enough to make him feel like a human being ... )

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

I feel like god was trying to talk to me with this post. I am also unwell and quite misanthropic because im in a str8 relationship and im at that weird phase where I need to clean my room so I can get a job and whatever. I have my plans I just need to actually do them, which is usually the hard part for someone that often forgets to eat until they're fucking seething and its too late.

as of right now ive been diagnosed with adhd and bpd. I have an odd feeling I might be autistic too so I;ll get that checked out asap. I feel like ive overlooked ocd too much too. im gonna see what all that is about.

I have so many ouches from trying to understand the balance between being a pushover and being an asshole. between being too lenient with myself and being too harsh. these kinds of dualities split my mind into painful shards and I often don't try to better myself because it is just so painful to breathe when im in the moment.

ive been getting better tho. learning a lot about different aspects of myself. grapefruit is so nice. protein is nice.

I don't know how to trust anyone really. I used to be so naive. so ready to help everyone. not knowing how tired I was gonna be. how many battles I would fight left unappreciated.

they all say you learn by making mistakes. but what do you do if you keep making the same mistake over and over again?

forgiving yourself is the only way to actually learn from your mistakes.

when people start getting bitchy towards you (perceived or real), forgiving yourself is the ONLY way to learn from your mistakes. your progress will likely not be nearly as fast as you want it, but you will make progress if you forgive yourself. drenching yourself in endless shame will delay any critical thinking or progress that was possible.

its such an evil cycle and it hurts so much, I don't see myself able to apologize if I were to have kids and they asked me why I had them into this horrible world. the existential crisis will hit them too and idk how I would ever apologize for bringing them into this horrible mess.

im so selfish.

ok enough is enough. whichever one of you virgins invented instagram starbucks recipes, die 1000 deaths. I had a customer come in today holding out their phone (full brightness) and looking all shy and Im immediately like 🙄 fine ok, what does the instagram user want me to make for them this time. well this time it's a cringe harry potter themed frappucino. excuse me??? "can you make this for me?" I said excuse me??? -- I mean *customer service voice* "yeah it looks like I have all the ingredients, haha sure!"

ok cringe instagram harry potter frappucino drinker. ok. die. "Ive never had this drink before" yeah I can tell due to the fact that it didnt exist until someone posted a #aesthetic photo of it to instagram 14 hours ago ok. ok,

but whatever, Im paid to put up with this shit. so I add the ingredients all up on my computer and congrats! ur harry potter cringe social media drink has $10 worth of syrup in it. are you happy??? is this what you wanted??? a $10 frappucino??? $10. for a drink. you doubled the price of this drink for ur off-brand "harry potter and the legend of the overpriced starbucks drink" drink. you doubled the price!!! is this how u imagined spending ur day? is this what u wanted to do when u woke up this morning? $10 for a 24oz drink?

and u know, you KNOW the influencer making this recipe doesn't even work at a starbucks cause when it was all said and done the drink looked like shit. my blender was straining against the weight of your sins (and syrups) and Im sweating, Im an animal, Im losing my mind and my blender is getting watered down frappucino syrups everywhere -- u put so much shit liquid in this blender it doesnt even fit in the cup btw. it's making a huge mess. but is it instagramable? no, its fucking ugly. #trending #foryoupage #cringe $10 harold potter drink for adult children,

so are you happy? is ur social media influencer bestie happy? I made ur stupid $10 drink for u. does it taste good? no? well I hope instagram shuts down tomorrow. I hope you read a different book. I hope I never get sober. there is no sign of land. I hope you die. I hope we both die.