#textbook example of a narcissist

[aidanturner]

Episode 4...

I almost forgot about this conversation, but thought it should be shared here.

This looks like a mess, but I have to post these as screenshots because the original comments have been deleted.

This cruel, aggressive person has been calling me crazy, monster, ill, sick, jealous and 'full of myself'. She has been twisting the truth and spreading lies and slander about me all over social media for years. I can assure you, I'm not any of that. I have no reason to be jealous of anything and I'm not crazy either! I just can't tolerate hateful bullies and liars. This 'adora' is not the lovable and innocent person, she pretends to be.

Never believe anything this rude and vile person and her tiresome sidekick say about me or anyone else!

They seem to have some sort of obsession of my watermarks, they literally drive themselves to the brink of rage over them... because that's all they can complain: I don't post ugly, plastic, over processed content 24/7 but good quality photos and videos. Besides it doesn't matter if 'the watermark is on his body' or somewhere else, it's still a watermark. It's hypocritical to make a lot of noise about something and still continue doing the exact same yourself.

I have been criticizing their work, because Aidan is a beautiful man as himself, he doesn't need their ridiculous improvements and ugly, unprofessional photo and video editing. The collages and videos are tacky and old-fashioned, I've seen those 15 years ago. Their awful plastic creations are a disgrace to this beautiful man, like this photo of Philip above. And I'm allowed to express my opinion as well!

This 'adora' and the tiresome sidekick are the only people who have been causing trouble in this fandom, stealing photos, gifs, videos, ruining every photo and gif with Remini and then whining in their support (FB) group when people don't like or dare to criticize their creations. They have a constant and unhealthy need to bring attention to themselves.

The admins of that FB group speak of 'freedom of speech' and 'freedom of thought' but at the same time the members who dare to disagree are kicked out of their prison-like group. The rest of the members seem severely brainwashed.

(click the photos for full view, these comments were published in mid-June 2024)

Photos 1 ja 2: Strange to speak of yourself as 'her'... And of course they are interest in my work, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this post... So my watermarks are the devil's work but theirs are just fine?

Photo 3: Cringe. Well, the fact is that none of the ATIs are very good at what they are trying to do, they just make a lot of noise about themselves. FYI graphics and videos have been part of my job for over 15 years, so I believe I have a better perspective of these matters.

Photo 5: OMG. More lies. And childish. I've asked people not to share my screencaps and edits from my private accounts. It's scary and sad that someone is so full of hatred... (gif @twelvepercentt)

- - -

I feel so happy and grateful that so many fans of Aidan Turner follow and support me. I don't have any need to compete of who is the fasted and who has more followers, views, likes etc. I just want to share content that doesn't make your eyes bleed.

I'm not going post much about this matter anymore, I'm ignoring most of their BS, but I felt this is something you have to see yourself and to defend myself against these constant lies. I've asked these people to leave my screencaps, edits, gifs, videos untouched but that request has been rudely ignored with obnoxious responses. Any normal person would have understood that request. And if they claim they never remove or crop my or anyone else's watermarks, that's another lie.

TurnItDownSometimes, the admin of this blog

[milevenstancyendgame]

More perfect mirroring in this show: Claudia killing Sir Sparklypuff to save Viren's life was foreshadowed by her killing the fawn to heal Soren.

[doodlegirl1998]

hori constantly acts as if he isn’t the writer and has full control of the story and it pisses me off to no end. gonna drop some examples below. these are from the street wear profiles from the manga.

sen kaibara - “I love his Quirk, so I can’t wait to portray it more.” he’s acting like something/someone is actively holding him back from doing so.

tetsutetsu tetsutetsu - “I hope I get to show him in action more.” once again, acting like something is stopping him. side note, why tf did he give him that name. it’s just so lazy. and it’s not even funny. just annoying to say and annoying to write.

hanta sero - “He’s mostly just for one liners in the background, but he’s a good guy, and I’d like to feature him more. At some point. For sure.” and then proceeds to never do that.

this might just be me being bitter abt all the amazing characters he’s completely disregarded and disrespected. this might just be me not understanding what it’s like being a mangaka. but it still bothers me.

i just hate how he’s created this insanely interesting world and amazing characters and never expands on anything bc he’s too busy sucking bakugos dick.

speaking of bakugo, as someone who has narcissistic tendencies, he’s a textbook case.

he obviously has some sort of inferiority/superiority complex and a mild to severe case of a god complex. at best he’s dismissive of people who he sees as inferior to him, at worst he’s downright cruel.

his “nicknames” are all just fucking insults aimed at peoples insecurities.

raccoon eyes/horns: mina was probably bullied for her appearance and then her so called “friend” exclusively calls her names that poke fun at her appearance.

bird brain/bird face/other bird names: tokoyami has probably heard it all at this point but once again bakugo making fun of heteromorphs.

dunce face: denki has shown to be insecure about his intelligence and once again his so called “friend” mocks him for it.

tentacles/arms/octopus: again, mocking heteromorphs.

tail: i’m beginning to see a pattern here.

ears: ok how has no one pointed out how most of his nicknames are him basically just calling them slurs.

i don’t think bakugo has ever called someone their actual name. maybe a handful of times? but it’s like a massive event when he calls someone by their actual name.

exclusive calling people insults isn’t exactly heroic.

anyway rant over i just needed to get all this shit off my chest.

Hi @the-jello-bowl 👋,

There could be something to be said here about how the editors may have had a hand in Hori not exploring all the characters he may have wanted to.

But, even if that is the case, not all of the blame would rest on them.

Hori clearly did not plan ahead for a lot of MHA. He is very good at coming up with good character designs and concepts as well as bringing life to them but seems to be at a loss after that is done. The cast bloating is key evidence of this.

It is sad to see all these interesting characters be swept to the wayside in favour of Bakugou, who by contrast brings nothing of interest to the table.

Bakugou is a narcissistic abuser in my opinion. He uses cruel nicknames, not as lighthearted jibes, but to bring others down - especially his friends.

Other than the instances you mentioned, I want to bring attention to one that belongs to Bakugou's supposed best friend, Kirishima, who he calls only "shitty hair." We learn in his backstory that Kirishima changed his hair to be like his idols as a symbol of his growth prior to U.A. Therefore, being continually called "shitty hair" would hurt Kirishima deeply. He also tells Bakugou to stop, and yet Bakugou does not care.

The time I can think of when Bakugou called someone their actual name is that time he used "Izuku" instead of the usual "Deku" slur. And even that is bad because instead of asking for the right to call Izuku by his first name, usually reserved for close family, Bakugou just does it.

Typical narcissistic, entitled and stagnant Bakugou. We hate to see it.

I wish Hori didn't waste so many manga panels on this idiot.

[brainjvice]

Yapping about Kainess breakup

Kaiser was at his gentlest with Ness during his breakup and it was so fucked up for him.

Do I think it could've been worse? Yes. Do I still think it's still cruel for him to let Ness go this way? Absolutely.

See, Kaiser has never actually been nice to Ness: he was either mean or neutral towards him, calling him loser since day one (you have a way with words, Michael...).

The only other moment where Kaiser was "gentle" with Ness was in the hair cutting scene. I don't know how authentic Kaiser was being because we miss his pov. My theory about it is that it was some sort of last trial for Ness, to see if he really was the obedient dog that Kaiser spotted months (weeks?) prior.

It was less about trust and more about control. See how much Ness is willing to do for him. I think his first attempt for this was when he asked him to wash his hair in the shower scene. Kaiser was testing how much he could take from Ness without giving anything back.

He never planned to return Ness' "love", because Kaiser himself does Not see that as affection. It's something taken for granted, like the unconditional love you expect your dog to give you even if you neglect it.

Also Kaiser does not see Ness as a person, nor as something valuable. He does not see him "at his level", as a peer. Of course he would never want that type of love. Kaiser would probably feel love only if it's from someone he considers valuable. Someone he's at the same level on his imaginary hyerarchy.

On the other hand, we have Ness. Ness, who has poured his own whole identity into Kaiser. Kaiser is the centre of his world. The reason he is still playing football, his magic.

He's also someone he's projected onto like crazy.

Ness has never heard anything gentle come from Kaiser's mouth until that very moment. And then Kaiser shatters it all in the cruelest way possible.

I think the kindness he reserved to Ness was a vile way to let him down. See, if Kaiser had kept following his malicious pattern, for Ness it would've been easier to cope. But no, he chose to be kind and it's a slap right into Ness' face.

The words Kaiser deliver carry a double message. On one side, he's grateful for Ness, on another he's breaking up their friendship.

From Ness' pov, this is atrocious to witness. Because now what? Ness can be angry at Kaiser, hate him even, but he'd always feel guilty deep down, due to that sparkle of kindness Kaiser has shown to him.

I think I'd convey this sensation better using an example: imagine your (asshole) partner is breaking up with you and they do it by saying "I love what we had and you made me grow as a person, but I don't want you in my life anymore because I found someone else and it's different" or smt like that which makes you feel used. Like Ness gave everything to Kaiser, and Kaiser barely thanked him before moving on. Which leaves Ness with what? Nothing. Exactly. Not even an excuse to explode and be angry because of how "sweet" those words were for him. It's like Kaiser stunned him with a kiss before hitting him with a baseball bat. Like damn just use an axe next time jeez.

I think Ness will DEFINITELY have withdrawal symptoms after their separation is complete. Textbook withdrawal symptoms. Baby boy will struggle a LOT, and the fact he's all alone now? Without any support network? Damn.

Anyway from Kaiser's pov it makes sense and to him it's not even manipulative and he Is actually being kind. This is because, given that he sees Ness as a tool, he is just basically firing him from his job position. Like yeah you served me well but now I don't need you anymore so go serve someone else. Kaiser has no empathy nor shows any guilt and he's never attached himself to Ness as a person. To him it's like changing a pair of shoes, he's like "aw these don't fit anymore... anyway!" before discarding them away.

Is it cruel? Maybe. But given his backstory, his antisocial personality and his narcissistic traits... it makes sense for him to act this way.

((There's much more I could yap about but I'm gonna stop here and maybe make another post.))

[aangelicimp]

communal narcissism where the gratification is received by being a “good” person and doing selfless and altruistic things and specifically helping communities / gaining social power

(I dont know this man nor the channel this is just based of tyaz’ description and it might not apply to the actual situation or content)

I NEED everyone to stop watching that Soft white underbelly channel. Mark Laita is a disgusting, exploitative, white, rich man who doesn't stop at anything to take advantage of minorities who so clearly need help and then when he does give them '' financial support '' he makes them degrade themselves by looking into the camera and telling everyone what a tremendous pillar he's been in their recovery. It's fucking sick what he's doing. Taking advantage of addicts, impoverished minorities who struggle and hurt everyday just to get a fucking paycheck? So he can create his ''legacy'', because he was unsatisfied working for wealthier men so he decided to become one? That is a twisted human being and he needs to be held responsible. What a piece of shit

[radfemverity]

Andrew Tate is the perfect test, and women should use him to vet men.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a better demonstration of how an umbrella fear of all men is justified, than in the support millions of men have given to Andrew Tate these last few years. At the end of 2022, every claim about he and his brother were vindicated when they were finally arrested for sex trafficking.

Both have publicly admitted to preferring when women stay like young girls, beating women in the bedroom, tricking women into making degrading porn, and ploughing ahead in sex whether the woman is ready and willing or not. There have also been leaked footage of Andrew Tate filming himself frightening a woman to humiliate her. @CrayonMurders on Twitter is a living breathing archive for all of this.

Yet his fanbase grows everyday. Very high profile commentators on the Right who the Left have been warning about for years (eg Elon Musk, Tucker Carlson, Tommy Robinson) have actively endorsed Tate, and his tweets regularly surpass tens of thousands of likes. He has a cult of personality amassing millions of men.

He is the textbook example of everything women have been warning about, it’s almost comedic. Andrew Tate isn’t like most sexual predators. He’s not discreet, he doesn’t use vague language or dogwhistles. He’s not a Jeffrey Epstein, a Jimmy Saville or a Harvey Weinstein, he’s too reckless for that. In caricature Disney villain style, he has been so brazenly unapologetic about his lifestyle of rape, pimping and violence, that unlike many before him, he has given himself absolutely no path to plausible deniability. His fanboys preaching “innocent until proven guilty!!” falls flat in the face of hours of footage and hundreds of tweets of him bragging about being a sadistic monster.

Andrew Tate is so addicted to flaunting his evil, that he inadvertently exposes the sheer number of men who are pro-rape and human trafficking, in a way that more careful predators just don’t. We can all use him as a test to vet any man we consider letting into our lives, and provide other women with the information to do the same.

Ascertain a man’s opinion on him early on. Don’t show your own bias, don’t interrogate, just ask casually and feign ignorance. Say something like “Oh I saw the whole drama on the news, but I don’t really know what to make of it all”. Listen for his answer, and then enquire further, no matter what it is. Even if he says he doesn’t like Tate, ask why. Because while “he’s an insecure beta masquerading as a big man”, and “he’s a bad role model” are true, it isn’t enough.

If you’re going to trust any men, especially in this neoliberal hellscape where they’ve had access to millions of clips of women being raped in every position and every hole since they began puberty, just please wait until they’ve demonstrated an unshakeable empathy for the female sex. Andrew Tate isn’t just a dickhead, or a funny peanut man, or a beta narcissist. He is a monster.

I cannot remember the last time there was a yardstick by which we can so easily measure a person’s humanity (or lackthereof). And while I would never blame a woman for just pointblank avoiding the entire male sex, associating with men is quite the game of Russian Roulette, most women – even radical feminists – would never be willing to do that. So to the 95% of us who wish to have at least one man in our lives, this is the easiest, most perfect test.

[lesbianalanwake]

hello! I have been reading through your posts on Alan Wake and I saw that you're a therapist? I was wondering, do you think Alan has narcissistic personality disorder, or do you think there's something else going on? I know it's a popular interpretation in the fandom but I want to hear from an expert. Also glad to hear your OK!

I'm a school counselor for ages 4 to 8. 😭 I don't diagnose; I make educated guesses for the purposes of offering advice or adjusting how I work with a kid, or use verbiage like "shows characteristics of x."

but this is make-believe land! so: setting aside ethical considerations of those kinds of diagnoses, the armchair assignments of "narcissistic personality disorder" from Internet denizens is ridiculous. everyone needs to shut up and stop throwing words around.

that being said, pre-Bright Falls, Alan is depressed and burned out, while also naturally being a bit of a grouchy introvert (nothing wrong with that - I am also a grouchy introvert). it's a case of poor communication skills between people who otherwise mean well. like, textbook depression and lack of communication, and if I was a therapist and he and Alice came to me it would take maybe a 20-minute conversation to suss this out. any non-hack, non-agenda-driven clinician worth their salt could (so, not Dr. Hartman).

I've mentioned before that post-arrival at Bright Falls, Alan experiences what is essentially supernaturally-driven brain damage and mental illness (amnesia and psychosis). but the heart and origin of it is that Alan experienced a sudden windfall of success, enjoyed it for a time but grew to resent the pressure of performing on demand for non-intrinsic reasons (something that all creatively-inclined people have to deal with), grew to hate something that he had previously loved, and experienced the massive mood drop of completing a project and having a period of heightened emotion come to an end. developing a mental resistance after something like that is perfectly normal. but he handled it poorly and failed to communicate these feelings as they were developing, so Alice and Barry, each with their own baggage, misunderstood and mostly saw that Alan was struggling with something he loved. so they used the wrong type of encouragement and help - "you'll get to writing again" "you'll be successful again" - which Alan's depressed brain with self-worth issues heard as "your writing and success is the main catalyst for our love and attention, and therefore anyone's respect or affection is dependent on this." which exacerbated the problem and the mental resistance, and because none of them are exceptionally gifted at communication or emotional intelligence, the problem could not resolve with time.

all of this is reflected in Alan's experiences with the Dark Place - normal problems ghoulishly come to life in demented funhouse mirror fashion, and really just boiled down to a need for worth to be affirmed as intrinsic rather than production-dependent.

this is why Alice returning to the Dark Place for Alan, and Alan's realization of it, is so critical. he threw himself into hell for his wife, but was at such a low point that he didn't think anyone would do the same for him - an incorrect assumption and an exaggerated supernatural example of a cognitive distortion.

prescription: a long beach vacation with a lot of sun, maybe some Zoloft, and nobody is allowed to talk about writing outside of therapy sessions for at least a year. would've fixed them right up.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

hori constantly acts as if he isn’t the writer and has full control of the story and it pisses me off to no end. gonna drop some examples below. these are from the street wear profiles from the manga.

sen kaibara - “I love his Quirk, so I can’t wait to portray it more.” he’s acting like something/someone is actively holding him back from doing so.

tetsutetsu tetsutetsu - “I hope I get to show him in action more.” once again, acting like something is stopping him. side note, why tf did he give him that name. it’s just so lazy. and it’s not even funny. just annoying to say and annoying to write.

hanta sero - “He’s mostly just for one liners in the background, but he’s a good guy, and I’d like to feature him more. At some point. For sure.” and then proceeds to never do that.

this might just be me being bitter abt all the amazing characters he’s completely disregarded and disrespected. this might just be me not understanding what it’s like being a mangaka. but it still bothers me.

i just hate how he’s created this insanely interesting world and amazing characters and never expands on anything bc he’s too busy sucking bakugos dick.

speaking of bakugo, as someone who has narcissistic tendencies, he’s a textbook case.

he obviously has some sort of inferiority/superiority complex and a mild to severe case of a god complex. at best he’s dismissive of people who he sees as inferior to him, at worst he’s downright cruel.

his “nicknames” are all just fucking insults aimed at peoples insecurities.

raccoon eyes/horns: mina was probably bullied for her appearance and then her so called “friend” exclusively calls her names that poke fun at her appearance.

bird brain/bird face/other bird names: tokoyami has probably heard it all at this point but once again bakugo making fun of heteromorphs.

dunce face: denki has shown to be insecure about his intelligence and once again his so called “friend” mocks him for it.

tentacles/arms/octopus: again, mocking heteromorphs.

tail: i’m beginning to see a pattern here.

ears: ok how has no one pointed out how most of his nicknames are him basically just calling them slurs.

i don’t think bakugo has ever called someone their actual name. maybe a handful of times? but it’s like a massive event when he calls someone by their actual name.

exclusive calling people insults isn’t exactly heroic.

anyway rant over i just needed to get all this shit off my chest.

No, no honey, go the fuck off.

I will say as a writer, I have experience with 'my characters have a mind of their own' and that through writing our plans have to change because the characters adapt more, but I will also say that Hori dropped the ball BIG TIME.

I am firmly of the belief that he had to have been pushed into making some choices by the publishing company because like... dude! You have so much cool stuff and you focus on Bakugou? The 'rich kid with superiority/inferority issues' you find in every drama?

All the insults is just another tick in the 'let's be honest no one would like this guy in real life' column, and it is so fucking funny to me that people try to romantisize that shit. Hell, look what everyone does to the name Deku.

'Oh he couldn't read it properly'

Did you watch or read the manga? Cause he did, and realized that it could also mean this.

'He called Izuku Zuku before'

No.

'It was after-'

Nope, before the diagnosis, also the fact people try to use it to excuse it is fucked up. It would be like calling me the r word for my autism as a 'fun nickname'.

(I will say I know people with the same first and last name in real life. Some own it, some go by a middle name. I think it's funny that his name is Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu)

I saw someone say Bakugou has face blindness but even then you're right. Why the fuck is he making those jokes? He's like that white friend who makes racist jokes you ignore but will say someone is being sensitive when he gets called out.

Bakugou is just... ugh. He's so boring. My anger towards him has become: you're just a dull little man.

[former-leftist-jew]

Then based on your own definition, YOU qualify as antisemetic.

Direct quote from you:

The whole concept that mainstream sects of Judaism officially approve the practice of trying to try to TRICK God is really bizarre and offensive. Like, you clearly don’t believe God is omniscient or at all impressive if you think he can be deceived by some mortals hanging a wire around their neighborhood. It also shows bad character to not just be upfront and say “okay, we don’t believe we should have to follow this rule and here’s why” and instead to try and be sneaky and deceitful. Religions are supposed to promote good character, especially honesty, so this is another reason why it’s very disturbing to a lot of people. And then back to my first point about how this shows they don’t believe God to be much of a God at all if he can be so easily tricked, (either that or they themselves and their magic wire is superior to God!) which…it should be obvious why that’s so offensive.

You clearly have a problem with Jews as a religious group.

"trying to... TRICK God," "bizarre," "offensive," "bad character," "sneaky," "deceitful," "disturbing," "they don't believe God to be much of a God at all," "they [think] themselves and their magic wire is superior to God!"

Wow, if that isn't all religiously motivated!

Was it not your own Christ who said, "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged." (Mathew 7:1) and "Let he who has never sinned lift his arm to throw the first stone"? (John 8:7)

Based on your own definition, YOU ARE ANTISEMTIC.

Fucking own it.

(P.S. There is no "genocide in Gaza" committed by Israel. Here is the proof. Gaza's population has quadrupled since 1948 and doubled in the last 18 years since Israel completely pulled out in 2005. That is the literal opposite of genocide. Meanwhile, Hamas has sworn to kill every Jew for being Jewish, and openly admitted they don't give a shit about their own civilians. That is the textbook definition of genocide.)

But sure, keeping pretending this is about "Palestine" and "the environment." We know you don't give a shit about either. You're just looking for ANY excuse to spew your bile-horking racism at Jew.

is your goal to help Palestinian people or to hurt Jews? your antisemitism is not helping Palestinian people.

Stop worrying about “antisemitism”

40,000+ Palestinians are dead simply for being Palestinian.

There’s not an ongoing genocide against Jews, it’s against Palestinians.

Continuing to fear that every valid criticism of Israel, Zionism or aspects Judaism is “antisemitism” is ENABLING the genocide to continue.

You must stop caring about dishonest accusations and paranoia of “antisemitism” if you want to free Palestine.

THIS is antisemitism ⬇️ Anything other than this is NOT antisemitism, no matter what Zionists and certain narcissistic “anti-Zionist” Jewish individuals want you to believe.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Armand may try selling a dead Lestat but Louis doesn't seems to know, at some point he said something like

''Lestat is,was and will always be for Lestat"

this confirming Louis still does not know if Lestat is dead or alive or Something else?

I support you on the negativity of some people.I was looking for observations on the episode on Twitter and I was only greeted by people disappointed by the characterization of Lestat in Armand's fanfic, people who attack the writers .I'm new here only 2,3 months, it's quite difficult finding a good circle of other fans who don't hate Louis or Lestat for the wrong reasons.

I don't necessarily have to agree with everyone but there is a lot of just straight hatred. Sorry it turned into a ranting, anyway I can't wait to read your observations on this new episode.

All good, I... obviously had a similar reaction earlier, lol :)

And I posted some of my comments earlier, and of course in the asks, but to repeat here, I really liked it. There is a LOT in there.

The cited sentence is indeed interesting, because as much as Lestat is being painted as that "raging narcissist"... is he? When he stuck with Louis all those years? Never left? For example? Armand has fed the story of Lestat abandoning Nicki because he didn't care to Louis and Louis knows that isn't true...

I think that moment is another cue that some kind of perception shift happened between/after Paris and San Francisco, and I also think that the show wants to get that classification of Lestat as textbook narcissist out of the way in the next episodes, because while there certainly are traits that fit... he's actually not.

And both Louis, and Armand know that.

Also, just as a note - that comment by Daniel of "I gotta meet this guy!"?????

Foreshadowing!!!! *ding ding ding ding* :)))

[andreal831]

Can you rank all the fathers of TVDU?

Ranking of TVDU Fathers, Worst to Best:

14. Giuseppe Salvatore

Giuseppe did almost nothing redeemable as a father. He emotional and physically abused his family and then killed them when they tried to help the vampires. At no point did it seem like he loved his children. Maybe when he tried to stop Damon from running out to save Katherine, but even that felt more like a reflex than fatherly affection. There's literally nothing positive I can think to say about him which puts him at the very bottom.

13. Joshua Parker

Similar to Giuseppe, Joshua does very little to show love for any of his kids, let alone Kai. I also always have wondered where the Parker parents were as their children were running for their lives from Kai. Jo was stabbed in the stomach as she attempted to save them, but no parent came to help.

Joshua always put the the coven over his own children. He gets points over Giuseppe because I think he did care about his children, other than Kai, but just cared about the coven more. Still a terrible father who was willing to risk his children for the good of the coven.

12. Mikael

Mikael was awful, but he isn't the worst simply because, at some point, he did care for his children. All of them, including Klaus. He beat and abused them in his own twisted way to make them stronger so he wouldn't lose them like he lost Freya. He went about it in a terrible way, partly we can blame on his own upbringing and the time they lived, but then he spent a thousand years hunting down his children and tormenting them. While his main goal was Klaus, he still was willing to kill the rest of them for standing by Klaus.

None of this justifies his behavior, but he gets points over the other fathers simply for caring to some extent about his children.

11. Richard Lockwood

Yet another toxic masculine father who emotionally and physically abuses his child. Richard is Mikael if he had been born in the 20th Century. Richard is such a great example of an abusive parent because he is closer to what we see in reality. He is a textbook narcissist who could charm the whole town while abusing his son in the shadows. Tyler and Carol were better off after he died.

These bottom four are honestly all interchangeable. They are all the same character, just different fonts.

10. Bill Forbes

Bill not only tortured his daughter but also abandoned her before she became the thing he hated. While Liz initially is scared of Caroline, she comes around and protects her daughter from Bill. While Bill comes around at the very end of his life, he never apologizes for torturing her or trying to kill her. He potentially could have been a better father if he had lived longer, but during his life, he was pretty terrible.

9. John Gilbert

Yes, John sucks. But not because he wanted to keep Elena away from vampires. That actually moves him up the list. He sucks because of his lack of involvement in Elena's life. It's fine that he wasn't ready to have a child when Isobel got pregnant, but the fact that he didn't bother stepping up, even as Uncle John, when Elena and Jeremy lost their parents really shows his character. Then when he did get invovled, all he wanted to do was control her.

He does end up sacrificing his life for Elena, which also earns him so points. For the most part, he was an absentee father, but he showed up at the end when it mattered.

8. Klaus Mikaelson

While Klaus is typically viewed as one of the best parents in TVDU, there is a lot to be desired. Especially when you actually focus on his first child, Marcel. Klaus made the decision to adopt Marcel and then continued to throw it in his face, even getting angry at Marcel for succeeding in his control over New Orleans.

With Hope, we do see him be more loving, but this love tends to come off as controlling and possessive. Klaus is so worried about being a bad father to Hope, clearly showing us he didn't view himself as Marcel's father or his understanding that he was a bad father to Marcel. He then proceeds to put himself over Hope's needs for most of her life. Ending with him, unnecessarily, sacrificing himself when Hope needed him most.

I did have trouble placing him since he does seem to want to do right by Hope, which is more than most of the fathers on this list. So he gets points because he does love his children (bare minimum) and would do a lot for them, but at the end of the day, his narcissism wins out.

I'm including a link to a longer discussion I've had regarding Klaus here.

7. Jackson Kenner

Jackson was a good stepfather to Hope, but he could have been a better father. There were numerous times that he walked out on Hope and Hayley, including one time when he calls Mary in without letting Hayley know he is leaving Hope. Jackson tended to hold the Mikaelsons against Hope. He definitely loved her, but he often viewed his role as her babysitter rather than a father. We never really get a moment between Hope and Jackson where it is clear he views her as anything other than Hayley's daughter.

Jackson and Klaus are fairly tied, but at least Jackson never murdered anyone in front of her or tortured her mother. They both love their children, but hold things over their children that aren't necessarily fair. They also both let their pride get in the way of what is best for the child, creating more instability in the child's life.

I go more into this discussion here.

6. Rudy Hopkins

Rudy essentially abandoned Bonnie after Abby had already abandoned Bonnie, leaving her in the hands of Grams because he didn't like witchcraft. He only comes back when Carol dies and they ask him to be mayor. While he does say he agreed to take the position to be close to Bonnie, it seems odd since he's been missing from her life for years, even after Grams died. But when he comes back, he is probably the most present parent we get outside of Liz.

Rudy tries to protect Bonnie from the supernatural world and even herself, trying to stop her from harming herself to help her friends. He does lose some points for abandoning her and trying to control her, but at the same time she was just a teenager so I get him wanting to protect her from the supernatural. I hated that he never even knew Bonnie was dead since they had been rebuilding their relationship. The scene of him being killed broke my heart for Bonnie.

He is leagues better than most of the fathers on this list simply for loving his daughter and showing her how proud he was of her. I mean, he was one of like two parents at graduation (granted most of them were dead at this point).

5. Alaric Saltzman

This is a hard one, mainly because I've not fully watched Legacies. I did once love Alaric with his relationship with Jeremy and Elena. He stepped up just because of his relationship with Jenna, but it was clear he cared for them outside of that. He stuck around after Jenna was killed and even was still there for them when Jenna needed a break. However, he doesn't seem to carry that same loyalty to his own children.

While I have issues with how he treated Caroline in TVD in the last couple of seasons, it was clear he would do anything for the twins. But then in Legacies, from what I've seen, he seems to prioritize Hope over his children. He runs the school and barely helps his own children feel comfortable, let alone the others kids. My theory was always that it was his way of getting the last win over Klaus. He stepped in and raised her to be his weapon, which he knew Klaus would hate. Even his relationship with Hope seems problematic.

He's fairly high on the list for his behavior in TVD but loses massive points for his behavior in Legacies.

4. Declan

I'll be honest, the timeline with Declan confuses me a lot. It seemed like Hayley and Declan were still in early stages of dating, yet he seemed to have a long relationship with Hope. This could make sense if Hayley and him had started off friends, but Hayley breaking up with him in order to focus on Hope confuses me more. If he was so invovled in Hope's life, this wouldn't be necessary and I would think he would have reacted differently, like trying to get invovled with Hope. But season 5 is terrible writing so moving on.

It does seem that he was an active father figure to Hope. Likely the only one she really remembered. From his conversation with Klaus, it sounds like he's known Hope for a few years at least and was still invovled in her life while she was away at school, even teaching her to drive. Hope also is very protective of Declan, showing how much she cares for him. I wish he would have been more focused on Hope after Hayley died, I get he just lost his girlfriend, but as a father figure, he should have stepped up for her because lord knows no one did.

I honestly ranked him this high more for what the show wanted him to be rather than what they allowed him to be. Season 5 was too short to bring in another father figure for Hope when they could have just used Alaric to make Klaus jealous. But, Declan gets extreme points for being willing to fight Elijah and Klaus to protect Hope.

3. Father Kieran

Kieran may not have been their parent, but it is clear he stepped up and took care of Cami and her twin brother. And then when they lost Sean, he helped Cami through her grief. In his last moments, he spent them trying to protect Cami.

While he valued his role in the city, he valued Cami more. Even threatening the vampires to stay away from her. I only wish he would have told Cami the truth when she confided in him that she was losing her mind.

2. Jonas Martin

The Martin family deserved so much better. Jonas had a moral code, but he had to bend it to "rescue" his daughter. He would do anything for his children and proved it time and time again. Losing Luka broke him and I'm almost thankful that he died before finding out his daughter was willingly working for Klaus. Even in his anger he was still focused on saving his children, restoring Bonnie's powers and telling her how to defeat Klaus.

My only issue is that he seemed to put Luka in jeopardy in order to rescue Greta. But he was desperate to save his child, so I can understand it.

1. Marcel Gerard

I love an accidental father and Marcel is the perfect example. He rescued Davina and took her in, yes partly because he wanted a powerful witch, but he grew to love her and became incredibly protective over her. My only complaint is that he seemed to pull away at times and leave Davina to her own devices when she definitely needed a parental figure or some adult guidance. But I love that he made Vincent step up when he couldn't.

Marcel would do anything for Davina and he proved it. He went up against his own family for her. He protected her from their enemies. He loved her no matter what she did, even when he disagreed with her. They have one of the best bonds in TO. I wish we could have seen more of them in season 5 or in Legacies.

Honorable Mentions

Vincent Griffith - Vincent losing his child is not discussed enough. But even though he couldn't be a father to his own child, he stepped up for Davina. He even was a surrogate for Freya and Keelin (I'll always be confused by that). I just know he is actively invovled in that child's life. Ansel - I didn't put him in the main list because we don't actually see him interact with Klaus much. Yes, we can say he was clearly protective of Klaus when Esther brought him back and theorize how he would have been as a father, but it's just a theory. People like to blame Esther for keeping Klaus from Ansel, but he was right there watching as Mikael raised and abused Klaus. He never once stepped in. Yes, I understand there are reasons and have even defended Esther's decision to keep it all a secret. But we can't blame Esther and not also hold Ansel responsible for Klaus' childhood. Grayson Gilbert - I mentioned Miranda in the other post so I felt I had to bring up Grayson. We, again, don't know much about him. His children clearly loved him, but his torturing supernatural makes me question if he would have reacted the same way Bill had. Katherine's Father - Forcing his daughter to give away her child is awful. Yes, it may be a sign of the times, however, he still sucks. Hayley's Father - We also don't know much about him so I'll just repeat what I said about Hayley's mom. He agreed to his daughter's arranged marriage when she was an infant and that he sacrificed his life to protect Hayley. From what we are told, it seemed like Hayley's parents were on the right side of the war, but it is hard to say. Matt and Vicki's Father - We don't know who their father is, but I don't think it's fair to judge Kelly for being terrible without at least mentioning him. He also sucks. August Sienna - We also don't see August ever interact with his children, but the fact that he is raising them in a cult is a red flag. Elijah Mikaelson - No, Elijah was never a father, but his siblings/parents definitely pushed him into that role early on. Elijah had the potential to be a good father, we see this in the few moments he had early on with Marcel. However, his love for his siblings blinds him and makes him do terrible things while allowing his siblings to do terrible things. Not a great disciplinarian.

[soundwavefucker69]

it's really fun being a mentally ill person with a variety of friends with different mental illnesses and personality disorders and also having a love hate relationship with AITA and AITAH.

someone will lay out a textbook example of avoidant personality disorder with the addition of an assholish personality on top of it. maybe autism to boot. and all the reddit psychologists on there will be screaming they're a narcissist. I'll be sitting there like. y'all aren't even in the right cluster. how the hell are you getting narcissist out of this. because the person blew the fuck up after avoiding every goddamn issue until they got to the boiling point and made all of these relatively small issues that could have been discussed at the time look huge? you think they're a narcissist because they're "vindictive" and "keeping track of slights?"

narcissist is everyone's favorite buzzword and I'm just like. I'm sorry is this am i the asshole or am I the narcissist. do y'all even know the diagnostic criteria of narcissism.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

Questioning NPD culture is being the perfect example of a narcissist, but doubting yourself 'cuz you are a little bit too happy about being special. "oh, I'm not like the others :D! Wait maybe I'm not a narcissist because I'm just trying to be special :( *proceed to be the textbook definition of a narcissist*"

.

[wendytestabrat]

why kyle is a textbook covert narcissist (FROM THE VAULT [2021])

I’ve explained this before, I think Kyle is a textbook covert narcissist and this episode and this scene right here pretty much gives it away. I love how Kyle’s definition of doing the “right” thing means getting everyone to like them again. But this is how Kyle has always been, he never actually does anything good that’s nice and helpful to anyone he just wants to make people THINK he’s a good person doing the right thing. He gets a kick out of being a martyr and shit bc it feeds his ego and it’s more of a status symbol for him to do the right thing. Bc when a genuinely nice person wants to do a nice thing and help someone they just do it and they don’t need to brag about how amazing and altruistic they are for it DHSJJSJSKS. But Kyle isn’t like that, he clearly cares too much about what everyone thinks which is why he was sooooo fucking upset when people were blaming him too for the period joke, and a big reason why Kyle likes to shit on Cartman but he makes sure to shit on Cartman IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE, it to make himself look like the better person in comparison. So that’s why all Kyle cared about in this episode was trying to get everyone to like him again and get on people’s good side. If Kyle was a genuinely good person who cares and does the “right” thing he wouldn’t have been all pissy and yelling at Stan & Cartman throughout this entire episode to get his way, that’s not what a good person does RJDJJSSJ. I just really want to bring awareness to this bc I think covert narcissism is such a huge issue that pisses me off and it really flies under the radar, and Kyle is the perfect example of a bunch of people like that we see in our lives. There are soooo many manipulative ass people who trick us into thinking they’re good people who wanna do the right thing but they’re really not and then they just hurt and betray us, and I guess that’s part of the reason why I rant about Kyle sm and it makes me sooo mad when people defend him and say he’s a good person when he’s not dhsjsjs. All of these SJWs and snowflakes on the internet getting everything cancelled and complaining on social media are total covert narcissists with the same kind of mentality where they think they’re just innocent victims trying to do what’s right for the world but they’re really just shitty assholes who are causing more harm than good. This kind of behavior is NOT okay. It’s NEVER okay to spew more hate into the world under any circumstance. That shit don’t fly with me! And we need to watch out for these kinds of people bc they can end up hurting us and tricking us even more than what we typically think a narcissist or sociopath to be. Watch out for people who play the victim card, who are a constant stream of negativity, talk shit behind your back, get literally jealous of anyone, and they say shit that doesn’t match their actions to make you think they’re an angel but they’re really just a sad loser. Believe me there are A LOT of Kyles out there.

[ruthlesslistener]

On the post about your dad, while I'm aware of the issues around the choice of words, I myself have NPD and pwNPD can ABSOLUTELY be abusive if we're not self aware or otherwise trying to change our behaviours. I do my best to steer away from being emotionally abusive towards my partners but there have been times where they had to tell me to back the hell off. Not just that, I have an uncle who is the DSM textbook version of a narcissist. I'm aware I might get bashed for this, but I don't really care.

yeah like the thing is that I don't believe that narcissist traits are inherently abusive, but in this specific instance they very much are. While narcissism has negative connotations, I see it as a neutral characteristic that people are just like...naturally prone to do. The reason why NPD is a disorder is because that trait becomes overexaggerated to the point of it being maladaptive to the person who's got it, but that doesn't mean that they're inherently dangerous or abusive. However, if they're allowed to go unchecked then they very much can be abusive. In the case of my father, they are. It's not 'he's abusive BECAUSE he's a narcissist', its 'his abusive behaviors are all derived from the fact that he think that he's the only person who knows how anything in this world works, and he becomes violent if he perceives that he's being contradicted or disrespected'. Like, he's flown into an outright violent rage before over me saying 'hi' to my birds when I got home from school instead of him. Doesn't matter that I saw them first while he was somewhere upstairs doing god knows what, it still ended with him screaming about how I'm a rude, disrespectful, ungrateful piece of shit and how he should kill them or sell them off so that I would 'prioritize my family', and any attempts at telling him he was way overblowing that just made him angrier. I couldn't give less of a lick of a shit if he felt that way but kept it down/backed off after I clarified, but he never did. Even gentle attempts at trying to explain that he was over the top was seen as disrespecting him and could trigger another rage. I know bc that's how most of our fights go lmfao

idk, I just don't believe that disallowing people to say anything negative about a stigmatized trait isn't actually helpful to dismissing that stigma in the first place. A good example that I can think of where I'm qualified to speak on it would be OCD intrusive thoughts. People woobified the shit outta them as being shit like 'jump off this cliff' instead of 'this person who you just met is going to rape you and you need to be prepared to gouge out his eyes to get away/ you can crush this infant's skull so easily, here let's go through a step-by-step- playthrough of how that would feel and sound and smell as you cradle them', and now when people with actual OCD go around talking about or depicting those intrusive thoughts through art or writing, we're labeled as dangerous psychopaths. When in reality, as long as nobody is going through with any of that shit, there's nothing actually dangerous or wrong about having them. It's the severity of the person's actions that matter over everything else.

[npdmonoma]

Can "narcissistic abuse" be something we consider outside of people with NPD? I don't believe in PDs at all as someone who's been diagnosed with one, and I'm very anti psychiatry. However mechanisms of what's described as "narcissistic abuse" are real phenomena and I'm wondering if we can address these situations without linking it to a diagnosis or condemning people as permanently and irreparably broken because they're making those choices in one context

Actually read some more posts on your blog and I think I found an answer that satisfies me in this topic ... I think the move forward would be to unlink certain constellations of behavior (gaslighting, DARVO, etc.) From having a PD. Honestly recognizing that someone who abused me was likely struggling with NPD made it easier to find empathy for them but I still had questions in my mind about how to address this specific pattern

I added your second ask here so I can address them both at the same time. Starting with your statement about not believing in personality disorders due to being anti-psychiatry, this is a statement I both do and don't agree with. All mental health diagnoses are created by psychiatrists by observing patterns of behavior that they label as aberrant and give a name to. So in that sense, they're "not real" because NPD isn't some objective observable thing. However, as long as anyone finds value in using that framework to understand themselves and hopefully begin healing, it should continue to exist as a concept. I personally find incredible value in the diagnosis, and have made significant strides toward healing and becoming a better person since I started applying that concept to myself.

That being said, I do believe in psychiatric abolition. What you said about not labeling people as inherently broken is part of my dissatisfaction with the state of mental healthcare. People with personality disorders can heal, even if our disorders never fully leave us. There's also reason to believe that the idea that personality disorders almost never go into full remission is either partially or fully false. Either way, we aren't broken. Or at least, we aren't required to view ourselves as such.

Second, you're absolutely correct that the things that get labeled as "narcissistic abuse" are real phenomena. I have never, and will never, deny that people who call themselves narcissistic abuse survivors have experienced abuse. I honestly believe that they did. However, those phenomena aren't inherently linked to NPD. I have yet to see an example of "narcissistic abuse" that wasn't just a textbook example of (usually emotional) abuse. There is no need to call it narcissistic, you can just call it abuse. That's what it is.

And yes, you're very correct that we need to disconnect patterns of abuse from personality disorders. We shouldn't be linking any mental illness/neurodivergence to abusive behavior. All that does is cause stigma that leads to people being hated for something they can't really control, and something that oftentimes was done to them. I don't deserve to be hated for what my abusers turned me into. No one does.

I'm glad you were able to find understanding and empathy for your abuser, as that seems to have been healing for you. I'm genuinely happy for you. However, the fact that in your case you learned something about your abuser that gave you context for what happened doesn't mean that thing is inherently linked to abuse in general. My father was likely autistic, and I can see how this played into his abuse of me. And yet, I would never say he abused me autistically, because he didn't. He just abused me. There are abusers in every demographic that exists, but that doesn't mean that the entire demographic gets discarded. People who have never abused anyone don't deserve to be called abusers, especially when they're abuse victims themselves.

Thank you for your curiosity and for having an open mind about this. I appreciate you taking the time to think this through, and I'm glad I was able to help in some way. My apologies if I went over something you already figured out for yourself, but I figured it was best to be thorough.