#tes: Jelani/Angelus

[callsigndreadfrost]

After Angelus cums inside Jelani's cunt he grabs him by the hips and pulls him against him burying his cock into his swollen cunt and keeps him in place to keep pushing his cum into his womb.

At this point Jelani's too tired and worn out to push him off so he let's it happen even if it hurts. Feeling the elf's cock throbbing inside him is making him slowly and lazily rock back and forth on it.

It wasn't until now that Angelus realized that his little vampire not only feels cold to the touch outside but also on the inside.

[callsigndreadfrost]

Thinkin' about these two again.

Just a high elf and his little bat.

I nuked the old art blog and wanted to have these two on here because I still really like how they turned out.

I miss that old robe mod ;.;

[callsigndreadfrost]

Okay, I'm not too sure how accurate this would be (in regards to Uthorim) but once Jelani was getting a little more comfortable with his newly acquired vampire abilities and learned to change into bat form (smaller than average for a vampire bat) he had a hard time learning to fly.

He'd constantly crash into Loke, Uthorim, the walls or would just fall and would get a little frustrated. Uthorim would turn into this Daedric looking bat and helped him learn how to fly and soon both of them would go for a "stroll" almost every night while Loke watched them from the balcony.

Once Jelani was really comfortable with flying he liked to lie on Loke and Uthorim's heads and sometimes take a nap. He'd do the same with Angelus after he joined them.

During full moons or even when Lo goes into his werewolf form Jela will hang off one of his ears or lie on his snout. Tiny bat with his giant werewolf dad <3.

Even Uth isn't safe. In his Daddric form Jela likes to hang on his horns. He's so comfortable with him and trusts and loves him so much he'll often fall asleep while hanging on his horns. Giant Daedric Lord, imposing, fearsome and terrible with his tiny bat son.

He'll lie flat on Angelus's chest while he sits back and drinks wine while reading occasionally petting his boyfriend gently. Internally freaking out over how small and adorable he is for something as intimidating as a vampire lord.

I like to think Jelani's bat form is really fluffy and soft. Like mink kind of soft. And squeaky too <3.

[callsigndreadfrost]

"Reach for the moon; even if you fall short you'll land among the stars."

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[callsigndreadfrost]

I still have their Fallout versions in the brain but I've been thinking about their Skyrim versions a lot today.

Mainly how Jela and Angelus met which Angelus totally lies about because it just wasn't very glamorous for him lol.

[callsigndreadfrost]

I saw a Tag talking about how you sometimes think about having Jelani heal from their trauma but you'd rather keep them in the space they are in.

I just wanted to say you've done a terrific job showing how slow the healing process is with all your boys! Even if he never fully heals he has had such a fun (thats a word for it) journey and seeing how he and Angelus balance each other out and keep each other grounded is such a great way for the characters to experience the horros but still have a place to go and repair themselves.

<333

Okay first of all, thank you! OMG that is some serious high praise especially when it comes from someone as important to me as you are. Holy shit! Totally flattered right now! I saw this ask way, way earlier but had to get some cleaning done and was on standby due to car problems but I wanted to get this answered and if you don't mind me saying I'm gonna word vomit the heck out of this with so many details.

Read more's there for length.

I'm always worried that I misrepresent some things when it comes to trauma responses and after effects of it. I do so much research and add in my own experiences with stuff. I go over it over and over and over and read so much on the subject that it tends to get to me sometimes but I want this to feel as real as it feels for me.

Also, in the case of their Fallout counterparts, I didn't want a happy-go-lucky AU, I have so many others for that but mainly the Skyrim AU for it. When I revamped it (Fallout AU) I was determined for it to be the AU I come back to when I'm not doing good because as sick as it sounds it's my balm. Those three shorts I wrote are just messed the fuck up but I was going through some shit and I needed to hurt myself in a healthier way if that makes sense.

Also confession time: most of what happened in the Fallout AU is stuff taken from Oracle. Things I've only ever hinted at but was never blatant about. So yeah, long winded way of saying that what happened to Jelani in Fallout happened to him in Oracle, just slightly different and for other reasons. I feel like I downplay his trauma of it in Oracle a lot but in Oracle he was able to get help and he wasn't alone to deal with that trauma. Did it affect him? Yes, very much so, something like that isn't just tossed under the carpet and forgotten. But he had Loke, Angelus and Trevor to help him through it, not to mention actual professional help too in the form of therapy. The worst part was dealing with the guilt because he felt like he'd betrayed Angelus by letting it happen, that took him a long time to come to terms with but Angelus was right there for him. Honestly, who better than his own, at the time, boyfriend who went through years of that shit himself. Literally no one else could understand what he was going through better than him. Not Loke and not Trevor. Then years later when he dealt with Iain who outed what happened to him to everyone else opened up those old wounds if only for a little bit. Then his suicide attempt because of the whole Iain thing and finding out he's the Arch-Maker--She really messed him up emotionally and psychologically, the damage She did to him was massive and from that point on it affected him as a person and would play a part in how he dealt with future problems. Once again Angelus was there to help him through it and he was the best to do so because he understood what it was like to have that kind of self-loathing. Angelus spent almost 2 centuries hating his own existence and during that time he tried to kill himself so many times it's almost obscene to think about. So when Jelani was hurting so much that he wanted to end his own life Angelus was the perfect balance to it. That little puppy picked up the pieces because not only had Jelani done the same thing for him for centuries, he understood what it was like to go through something like that and knew him well enough to know what to do with and for him.

Then years later after the Halo virus caused him to lose control all those feelings of self-loathing came back along with a guilt that was rotting him on the inside. Again, Angelus understood. Angelus was conditioned by his abusers to believe that he's a monster and one that will eventually hurt those that he loves so he was the best one to help his,now husband, through it because Jelani felt the same way.

Both of them have a lot of trauma and they balance each other. When one's injured the other helps him and cares for him. They have such a deep love for one another that they can heal each other. Not to mention Loke, Trevor and Uthorim are there too, can't forget them.

In Fallout it played out a little different. When it happened to Jelani it was more brutal and a lot sicker in my opinion, not only that but he was left for dead and was threatened to not say anything or else they'd find him and Loke, do it again in front of Loke and then kill Loke. Not only did they do that but they threatened him with taking away one of the two people he had left. On top of all of that it happened when he was only a 17-year-old kid. I'm not downplaying severity of traumatic events due to age (Fallout he was 17 and in Oracle he was 1,126). However, like I said, in Oracle he managed to get help and had a support system. In Fallout it happened and in that same month he thought Loke had died so for a year he was completely by himself dealing with crippling trauma that led to him attempting suicide several times. It wasn't until he met Angelus that he found some sort of support.

Angelus was a huge help. Lol now that I think about it, Angelus is the only one in that AU that has zero traumas and pretty much never had anything bad happen to him. I mean, was his childhood ideal? No. Did his grandmother sell him to an ex-raider? Yeah. But if you ask him he had the time of his life and honestly he really doesn't care about any of that. Anyway, he didn't exactly know what to do with Jelani but damn it did he not try his best and I think that was nicely displayed during the second short where he talked Jelani out of shooting himself and the way he talked to him and asked what he was comfortable with. Even at its darkest that AU still has so much fluff in it between them. Even when it comes to sex Angelus is there helping him recover by being someone he can trust. One of his biggest fears is expressing his own desires when it comes to sex because he is TERRIFIED that Angelus or whoever he's having sex with will get angry and hurt 'im. So when it involves Jelani it's always really soft and tender, a lot of loving and reassuring words.

((I'm not sure if you wanna continue the polycule between Uth and the boys in Oracle and other AUs or just the Skyrim AU. That's why I left that last bit ambiguous. But I am game for it on everything but only IF you want to (don't feel pressured to, I so seriously don't wanna limit your options). 'Cause quite honestly I love the chemistry between 'em all. I think that even though sex is a vital part to their relationship it also goes beyond that, like they genuinely care and love each other in ways that are hard to put into words 'cause their actions towards one another speak better and louder.))

Like no matter how dark Oracle or the AUs (again, exception being Skyrim) can get I like to make it fluffy to even it out. And you know what even the Skyrim AU has it's share of not so nice things what with the whole Loke having to run away from home because Iain wanted to kill Jelani (at the time a baby that was less than a year old) out of some delusional sense of revenge. Angelus running away from home because his grandmother wanted to make sure he didn't "sully" the family line like his mother did and basically raising him to think the A.D. were good.

Jelani and Angelus balance each other out in this one pretty well too. Like, Angelus's entire world view is very skewed and wrong because of his upbringing and he's just angry. Deep down, behind all the glamour, the pretty words, the elegant jewels and expensive clothes and that air of superiority he is ANGRY. So meeting Jelani just kinda felt like he cooled down his anger towards everything and everyone. Jelani, Loke, Uthorim and Trevor really turned him around and he learned that his grandmother was completely wrong and to be fair to him he never really bought into the A.D. propaganda, he was just expected to and the only person in his life who was very anti-A.D. died when he was super young so he didn't have a countering point of view to his grandmother's upbringing. The Angelus a year after he moved in with the boys is an entirely different one than when he first got to Skyrim. Well, for the better anyway, he's still a spoiled brat of an elf with a superiority complex about him, it's just that now he's not an asshole about it surrounded by people that love him and he loves back.

But yeah, holy shit, long way of saying that yes, I do take great care in how I try to manage their traumas and the way they deal with 'em. Some get mostly better, like the Oracle version of Angelus and even then I think you can recover from traumatic events but you will never go back to the way you were before it happened. It took Angelus such a long time to get to the point where he had enough of punishing himself and even if Jelani was right there for him every step of the way he was the one that had to make that choice for himself. I wanted to move him past all that and I did. He's so much better now, I'd say since the 1970s. He still has moments and days that are much harder to deal with stuff but he actually wants to move past shit and has an excellent support system like Jelani who would do anything for him.

When it comes to Jelani he mostly recovered from his assault, took a few years but he recovered. The thing that to this day eats at him is guilt. He feels so much guilt for technically everything and to be honest it's all in his head but no matter how much therapy or medication he's given it just doesn't go away which was greatly exacerbated after he found out he's the Arch-Maker. He also has bouts where he feels alienated and lonely even though he isn't and he's aware of it but it just comes on and no amount of logic will pry those feelings from his head. He's torn between two identities, divine and non-divine, and it conflicts him a lot. Oracle Jelani is wounded, he's trying his best and for the most part you can see it but sometimes that wound opens up again and festers for a little bit and he has to balance dealing with it and going on with life.

Fallout version of Jelani is very broken, he went through a horror that a lot of people don't survive either by the person(s) responsible for it or by the victim's own hand. Like I said, I wanna keep him in that space he's in for selfish reasons and to be honest not everyone recovers and I wanna show that side too. Within Oracle you see a Jelani (Angelus as well, credit where credit is due) that managed to recover from surviving such a traumatic event but the Fallout version really didn't and it affects his life pretty heavily and it may be ugly but that's the reality of it.

There is the topic of whether I want him to get some type of closure by killing that ones that...you know...but in all honesty I think it'd be in vain and would only end up hurting him more. He cannot see or smell rum much less drink it because it reminds him of the man that orchestrated the entire thing so seeing him would send him into a panic. Not to mention he's a serious piece of shit, this man is not gonna go down without a fight or without saying and doing things that'll outright trigger him. As much of a capable marksman that he is Jelani would freeze like a baby deer in headlights and that could lead to getting assaulted again because let's face it, that man wouldn't be above doing it again and that's just bad all around.

The idea of revenge is not very realistic. Yes, in Oracle Loke, Angelus and Trevor got to the group that assaulted Jela but that kill was more for Loke if we're being brutally honest. They hurt his brother, they went after his brother. Keyword here being his. True revenge would've been if Jelani himself would've pulled the trigger but he didn't, he really didn't wanna face them again. He wanted to forget it ever happened and put it behind him. Loke, Angelus and Trevor were the ones that wanted recompense for what was done to their brother/boyfriend/friend. Same thing goes for the Fallout version. And to be honest exposing him to that would do more harm than good. To be honest, if I ever do write it it might be that I'm going through something and need to reach into dark content because no matter what the outcome won't land in Jelani's favor.

Honestly I have so much more to say on this topic but it's already really long.

[callsigndreadfrost]

Heyyy!!! I'm here to gift your inbox with a post work vibe post lol

What skyrim race comes to mind when I think about the boys! (Purely off vibes given i don't 100% know what they actually are)

So with Uthorim we all know he is orc but I also feel there's some redguard in there! Gives some speculation to his ever mysterious parents ;p

LoLo pops up in my head as Nord but with speckles of wood elf. Very strong, agile, and deadly! 💚

Jelani of course comes up as dark elf/redguard. Very mysterious, very stabby stabby, very loveable!

Angelus is high elf or more so snow elf! Big I'll end you and make it look beautiful vibes ✨️

You're the best as always! <3333÷

Lol love that Uth!

Honestly, you are very on point!

Loke and Jelani are both half Nord, half Redguard. Ingvarr is a Nord and Sanaa is a Redguard.

Now, Bethesda handled mixed children rather poorly. See, in Bethesda's terms both Loke and Jelani should have looked like Sanaa since the children will all look and be the race or species of the birth parent. I honestly hate that so it's one of those lore rules I break and throw away because it just does not make sense at all or work in the case of Jelani.

Jelani (in Oracle) is mixed, his dad is a white man and his mom is a black woman. I even designed both parents according to him since I made him first. He has Ingvarr's eye color and hair texture. He has Sanaa's nose, lips and her dark skin. Personality wise he's all Ingvarr lol.

As much as it pains him and he hates it Loke has a different birth mother and he has her red hair and very pale skin, eye color, as well as a bunch of inherited conditions. The freckles he got from Ingvarr.

Now, Loke is kind of a "problem" when it comes to the AUs because Loke is Sanaa's adopted son. Both treat each other and consider each other mother and son. Not once has he ever referred to that woman as his step-mother or Jelani as his step-brother. Sanaa is his mother and Jelani is his brother.

But the birth mother is not present in any of the AUs except for the FO76 AU. So going back to Skyrim, Fallout and any other AU where this is the case we just have to hand wave the fact that Loke looks nothing like his mother 😅🫣

Lol Loki wishes he was agile. That boy is all strength and tanking. Only times he's agile is when he's tossing and turning while asleep, when Jelani was a kid and wandering a little too far from town for his own liking and when he's making Uthorim bounce and jump on--

Actually, the parental thing comes into play in the story. Which I have a document neatly detailing Loke and Jelani's entire (TES) history. It's not finished yet.

As for Angelus...holy shit I don't know if you guessed or what but yes, he's half High Elf, half Snow Elf. His mom's a High Elf and his dad was a Snow Elf. Was, he was part of a tiny little group of Snow Elves that had survived all that time but ultimately all of them were killed. That would be thanks to Angelus's bitch of a grandmother. She's.....a very vile and horrible person, let's just leave it at that. When she found out her one and only daughter "ruined" the bloodline when mixing with a lowly race (to her everything not Altmer is low) she hired some people to hunt them down and kill them all. His mom died of a disease when he was 3 and he was raised by his grandmother. During those years she had no one opposing her teachings unfortunately so Angelus was well on his way to being just like her. Since he doesn't have that (god awful yellow, sorry not sorry, I really hate it) skin tone she told him and everyone else it was a rare defect.

So yeah, he was raised without knowing who his father really was, never knowing of his full heritage and being pro Aldmeri Dominion and just looking down on anyone being a High Elf.

So what happened? His grandmother was trying to get him to marry into a family she chose so he wouldn't do what his mother did. Problem was he didn't want to be forced to marry anyone, much less at 19, and he's gay. His grandmother chose a family with only daughters. So he took the inheritance his mother left him, changed his name to something not Altmer sounding (Angelus) and moved to Skyrim because he knew his grandmother wouldn't follow him there. He spent a few years there and his mentality slowly began to change and when he was 27 he met Jelani (18 at the time), Loke and Uthorim and over the course of a year living with them his attitude about everything drastically changed and it was during that year he slowly fell in love with what he calls "his little bat".

His attitude and mentality may have changed and he denounced everything his grandmother taught him but he's still a spoiled brat who likes to spoil his boyfriend and his two fathers-in-law.

In Skyrim he'll also get a chance to maybe discover and explore his Snow Elf side.

Also omfg you're the best and ilu! 💖

[callsigndreadfrost]

[In Skyrim] Loke likes to keep a little garden, it's divided in half. One half for ingredients for potions and one as a bit of a "memorial" type of thing dedicated to his mom (he's always closest with his mom no matter if it's Oracle or any AU).

That part of the garden is full of flowers because Sanaa loved flowers and thought they were the most beautiful things in all of Mundus. Well, second only to her kids.

Loke's always busy though, he hardly has time to properly care for that side of the garden and sometimes those flowers wither and die. However, Jelani always manages to keep an eye on the garden and when he notices one is withering he brings it back to life (he's a necromancer after all). Loke isn't aware of any of it, he's never seen one die because Jelani takes great care to make sure his dad (yeah, long story, I'll explain in the info dump) never sees any of the flowers withering or dead. After Loke met Uthorim and he caught Jelani bringing back some flowers to life he explained the importance of the flowers and from then on both of them make sure that that side of the garden is as equally taken care of so Loke never has to see any of them die. Angelus being no good with gardening buys some equipment and seeds to make sure they can be easily replaced in case Jelani fails to bring any of them back and actually hired an expert botanist to come by every few weeks to make the garden as robust as they can. It's his way of helping in making sure Loke never has to endure losing his mom again.

[callsigndreadfrost]

What are your characters favorite foods? <3

I'm dividing these into settings 💞

Oracle:

1. Jelani: huge fan of sushi and a total slut for cherries. They love cherry flavored slushies. Loves cherry flavored blood lollipops (I may have to explain this lmao).

2. Angelus: it's not a fan of food, it has a pretty bad relationship with food but will never say no to dumplings (both fried or steamed though it prefers steamed) and noodles. Cream soda is his favorite drink followed by energy drinks. Favorite fruits are raspberries. Likes raspberry flavored blood lollipops.

3. Loke: like his brother he likes food. His very favorite is pizza and cheeseburgers. Will happily eat his weight in mangoes. Coffee! Lots of coffee! Coffee! As well as sweet teas his husband makes.

Skyrim:

1. Jelani: blood. He's a vampire that's all he can eat and drink now. It used to be beef and ash yam stew and loved honey nut treats because of the crunch. He wasn't into any type of alcohol. Water and juice for him.

2. Angelus: he's a pescatarian that leans more heavily on a vegetarian diet. And no, he's not one of those bleeding heart "oh, please don't kill animals for food, that's abuse" asswipes. He was just raised that way. His absolute favorite dish is potato soup with some lavender dumplings, will eat his weight (lol twink ass motherfucker) in sweets, his favorite is juniper berry crostata and will often be found indulging on expensive wines and other expensive alcoholic drinks (he's a rich little snob, what did you expect?). Ever since he joined the family he's become a huge fan of tea particularly tea made by Uthorim.

3. Loke: beef and ash yam stew. Not too crazy about sweets though he'll happily indulge in berries as a treat. Angelus introduced him to lavender dumplings though and quickly got hooked. Will drink any alcoholic drink and LOVES tea made by his husband.

Fallout:

1. Jelani: his appetite isn't what it used to be, it's a miracle if he takes more than 5 bites out of a meal and food's kind of become a sort of second thought for him. He does like noodles (because of something between him and Angelus) and grilled radstag with veggies. Favorite thing to drink is Nuka-Cherry, used to love drinking alcohol but stopped drinking it all together after he reunited with Loke and Uthorim. Has a serious sentimental attachment to gumdrops. Likes tea because it tastes good and for sentimental reasons that have a lot to do with Uthorim.

2. Angelus: food is his favorite food. He loves food, loves to eat. Think the only reasons he's a skinny ass twink is genetics and moves around a lot. Goes feral for noodles. Hates vegetables. Favorite drink is Nuka-Quantom. Loves any and all sweets and candies and is often seen chewing gum.

3. Loke: Ribeye steak, fried egg (from any critter) and a lot of veggies on the side. Not a fan of seafood. Loves cotton candy bites as well as Slocum's BuzzBites. Will drink any and all alcohol but coffee is his second favorite drink. Sweet teas that his husband makes are his absolute favorite!

[callsigndreadfrost]

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#oof buddy my dad completely destroyed my self image. like for years making very obvious comments about how i look is bad and it needs fixing

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Holy shit! Thanks, Teostra!

19 notes • Posted 2021-02-08 22:09:31 GMT

#4

Oh gods...not again...

26 notes • Posted 2021-08-19 22:27:16 GMT

#3

Lumbago

28 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 10:38:11 GMT

#2

Right. So watched the intro video for FF XIV. Everything flew over me, I don't understand jackshit about Final Fantasy. I've never played a single FF game before. I'm going in blind.

So now I gotta pick a race.

And yes, I'm doing a play by play of this.

28 notes • Posted 2021-02-13 17:24:08 GMT

#1

RE8 playing out exactly the same but every time you see Lady D the hat gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

55 notes • Posted 2021-05-16 20:12:32 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[callsigndreadfrost]

Anyway back to rdr 2. Okay, I know I was gonna go with a TES theme for my horses' names but ever since I said the white Arabian reminded of Angelus I went and named her Angelus lmao. The red chestnut Arabian? Named her Loke and the stripe brindle Arabian Jelani.

Now let's see about figuring out some of these treasure maps if I can. And by figure out I mean look it up.

[callsigndreadfrost]

Also I like to think Uthorim takes to placing plants around the inside of the house at some point. It's subtle at first but before anyone else can really tell there's all these tiny pots with beautiful decorations on them with the cutest tiniest little plants that bring so much life to every room they're in. As if a little of what makes Uthorim special has been sprinkled on them.

Loke's the last to notice but when he does it's like he can feel Uthorim in the room with him even if he's in another room or not in the house. Like little reminders and assurances.

Each bedroom has a different one that Uthorim handpicked for each person that lives in the house.

I just really like the idea of Uthorim and plants <3

[In Skyrim] Loke likes to keep a little garden, it's divided in half. One half for ingredients for potions and one as a bit of a "memorial" type of thing dedicated to his mom (he's always closest with his mom no matter if it's Oracle or any AU).

That part of the garden is full of flowers because Sanaa loved flowers and thought they were the most beautiful things in all of Mundus. Well, second only to her kids.

Loke's always busy though, he hardly has time to properly care for that side of the garden and sometimes those flowers wither and die. However, Jelani always manages to keep an eye on the garden and when he notices one is withering he brings it back to life (he's a necromancer after all). Loke isn't aware of any of it, he's never seen one die because Jelani takes great care to make sure his dad (yeah, long story, I'll explain in the info dump) never sees any of the flowers withering or dead. After Loke met Uthorim and he caught Jelani bringing back some flowers to life he explained the importance of the flowers and from then on both of them make sure that that side of the garden is as equally taken care of so Loke never has to see any of them die. Angelus being no good with gardening buys some equipment and seeds to make sure they can be easily replaced in case Jelani fails to bring any of them back and actually hired an expert botanist to come by every few weeks to make the garden as robust as they can. It's his way of helping in making sure Loke never has to endure losing his mom again.

[codenamehellhound]

I nuked the old art blog and wanted to have these two on here because I still really like how they turned out.

I miss that old robe mod ;.;