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callsignbaphomet · 10 months ago
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Finally got him addicted to Calmex.
Despite the wiki saying you have a 35% chance of addiction it took a lot of usage to finally get him hooked on it. Maybe Maim 3 or Modern Drugs reworked the percentage somehow.
I have a very good reason for why Calmex. A sort of mix between canon and headcanon. Calmex gives you:
+2x sneak attack multiplier
+3 perception
+3 agility
The sneak multiplier kinda goes hand in hand with the fact that he's a sniper, all the weapons on him are silenced and I put a shit ton of points into sneak. Makes sense. That's from a gameplay pov. As for him it helps with moving around without making much noise or bringing too much attention to himself. He's paranoid and scared out of his fucking mind whether he wants to admit it or not. The near crippling depression ain't helping either.
The 3 points of added perception make so much sense 'cause his anxiety, depression and PTSD cause him to become hypervigilant.
The extra agility points is just an extra thing though it could help. Nowhere in any setting is this man agile...maybe in Mon Hun 'cause of the weapon choice but not even then.
Here's where the hc part comes in. I like to think Calmex calms the user and this would be a drug he gravitates to given the constant nightmares and night terrors, the vivid flashback/memory, intrusive thoughts, anxiety and hypervigilance. Had a nightmare/night terror? A shot of Calmex. Stuck in a vivid flashback/memory for a few minutes? Another shot of Calmex. Anxiety is kicking up so bad he can hardly think and is physically shaking? Yet another shot of Calmex. Intrusive thoughts getting louder and louder to the point of them drowning out every other sound? Calmex.
And unfortunately the more he abuses it the more he gets addicted to it and the less effective in the long run it is. He's basically using that to shut off the other symptoms just so he can have a moment's peace which unfortunately last less and less the more he depends on Calmex.
I'm not gonna get him addicted to alcohol 'cause he moved from alcohol to Calmex once he felt the drug was a "better" option than getting passed out drunk to sleep to avoid nightmares and night terrors. Plus, in doing research I read that alcohol exacerbates the nightmares so my need for "realism" demanded I switch.
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lovieku · 2 months ago
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ORDINARY THINGS ⋆ 정국
𐙚 ordinary things, as long as i’m with you.
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after a lost match, jeongguk’s only source of comfort is you.
from the grande series ୨ৎ
pairings: soccer captain!jk x fem!reader
genre: fluff, established relationship
warnings: lower case intended, i wanna say that i know very little about soccer, even more about what goes on behind the scenes, but of course i had to put jeongguk in bellingham’s iconic holey socks hehe 😻, it’s a bit angsty at first just bc ggukkie is an angsty boy, but then all of it is just fluff really! hints at mental illness, heavy use of the pet name baby, they’re so funny i love them, theyre also horny! only mentions of sex tho, and sexy kisses and touches keke
word count: 6990
a/n: waaa omg i managed to keep this under 10k words who’s proud of me! this is so slow but im in love w their domestic dynamic 🙁
────୨ৎ────
the piercing whistle cuts through the air.
it marks the official end of the match, sealing the loss of your boyfriend’s team. the sound feels sharp, final, not only to the game.
you knew this was fairly important. it wasn’t too decisive on the team’s position in the ranking, but you knew it mattered to him. like every other game, regardless of stakes.
whether it was a friendly or a tournament, jeongguk had no other mode but all in.
that dedication shows in every tense line of his body now. the weight of defeat begins to sink in, and you can see it on his face, the way it affects him.
you can already sense what’s swirling around in his mind, behind the quiet exterior. you’re sure of it from how he still stands there, avoids his surroundings, keeps his eyes glued to the ground, the green field suddenly more captivating.
you don’t need words to know. he’s retreating inward, locking away his disappointment, and likely taking on more than just the burden of his own loss.
he’s probably thinking of his teammates, feeling like he let them down too. allowing it all to crash on him, the single outcome of this match unraveling everything he worked hard for.
his confidence shatters with the referee’s whistle, and it shuts down the noise of the crowd, makes him unresponsive to the comforting pats on his back from his friends. it’s all a distant hum to him now.
jeongguk is deliberately slow as he almost mechanically leads his exhausted self out the pitch, body moving without his mind’s consent.
he doesn’t care if it’ll take him forever to take these steps. if he’s the last one leaving. he just needs a moment to figure out his next move.
but can he? can he face his team without this ugly feeling gnawing at him? can he keep lying, tell them they did well, that they’ll do better next time, while his own mask suffocates him? is he even deserving of the captain title?
he doubts it, his legs moving as if the world has time to offer him, body struggling under the weight of a lifeless feeling creeping in.
your heart clenches painfully. from the sidelines, watching him like this breaks something in you.
you grip the hem of your tennis skirt, fingers twitching as you fight the crazed urge rising in your throat to just run to him.
it’s hard to find your breaths when witnessing your boyfriend destroying himself as if that’s the only treatment he thinks he’s deserving of. but you also know the last thing you want to do right now is to draw more attention to him when he’s so raw, vulnerable. when every eye in the stadium strips him bare.
and you just want to put his every piece back, cover him in warmth. your mind is made up when you abruptly stand up, hastily making your way toward the locker room before he can get there, offering polite smiles to the players who are already getting inside.
you settle outside the door, waiting.
jeongguk drags behind the others, eyes still casted down. he’s so absorbed in his escape, so lost in the act of avoidance, that you’re certain he won’t notice you, with your beating heart held out to him in your cold hands.
yet, he does find some sort of answer in the ground he keeps staring at, asking for solutions.
amidst the worn, muddied football boots, he spots your shoes. dr. martens platforms, the ones you pair with white socks that ruffle at the top.
the sight is enough to pull him out of his daze, and he looks up.
the door to the locker room closes behind the last player, the heavy thump echoing in the long hallway. it startles you, just as jeongguk’s sudden awareness startles him, and you search for some sort of stability in each other’s eyes.
his own are glossy with unshed tears, and they glisten under the harsh fluorescent light. it doesn’t help the way his vision gets blurrier and pulls you farther from him.
but he needs to see you— the comfort in your face, the one that he feels as though he can’t breathe without.
jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut, the tears slipping free, but the moment he flutters his eyelids open and meets you clearly, he doesn’t care.
his wide, tear-filled gaze takes you in. brows drawn up, your expression seems to mirror his. you’ve always absorbed people’s emotions to an almost extreme degree. when others cry, so do you. and when jeongguk cries, it feels like the whole world is falling apart.
but you can’t afford that happening, and you’ll hold its full weight on your shoulders to prevent such thing.
this time, you need to be stronger for him. swallowing the lump rising in your throat, you blink back your own tears and take a hesitant step toward him.
jeongguk, so much taller than you, seems to shrink before your eyes. right now, he’s the smallest, most fragile boy.
“baby,” your voice is a soft whisper, arms stretching open in a subtle invitation, one that he doesn’t need to be asked twice.
the moment you speak and break the quiet, the dam he’s been holding up crumbles. he crashes into you, hands wrapping tightly around your waist, his nose buried in the crook of your neck.
the impact makes you stumble slightly, but you hold him just as tight in return, focusing on his sharp breaths against your skin, wet with his tears, body trembling in your embrace.
your arms wrapped around his neck, you squeeze him hard, as if he’s a sponge that you’re trying to empty from all the dirty liquid. all the exhaustion, the anxiety, the guilt.
with the way he downright drops his full weight on you, you guide him to sit on the bench just outside the locker room. he slumps beside you, heavy and limp against you, seeking your warmth and comfort the way an addict seeks for the drug that’s able to keep them going.
you sit like that for a while, and you think it’s better this way. he has time to let it out against your chest, and you have the time that you need to compose yourself before you’re met with the full extent of his brokenness.
the second you see his tear stricken face, you think all of the effort was useless. you’re so, so weak.
jeongguk hiccups, lifts his face, his wide eyes flitting between yours like one would follow a tennis match at his peak point, searching for something, the smallest indicator of victory.
the tears make his cheeks red, and it adds to the frantic pleading he trips on, “b—baby, please. i don’t— i’m tired. wanna— home—“
“hey, gguk. ggukie, breathe,” you’re gentle when you cut him off, taking his face between your small palms to try and steady his panic, and mostly yourself. you’re fighting hard to not break too, to try and be the anchor he needs.
you take exaggerated deep breaths, hoping he’ll mirror you, and after a few moments his chest rises and falls in sync with yours, warm breath fanning over your lips.
imperceptibly, you feel his panic begin to ebb. his brows relax and his eyelids blink slower, regaining consciousness of his surroundings.
his hands reach up, covering yours as they rest at his jaw, squeezing them, and he exhales shakily, still not fully over his agitation, “i’m sorry. i wanna go home. i don’t— don’t wanna do interviews, don’t wanna see anyone. don’t wanna talk to coach. i just wanna be with you, please.”
his speech is hushed, pleading, his words slurred as if afraid you’re going to stop him, force him to go through the motions of what’s expected of him before he can beg further.
you brush his cheek with your thumb in a slow motion, moving him closer to you, your voice as careful as possible, “but, jeongguk… we can’t disappear without at least telling the others. coach will want you to answer—“
“please, love. please,” he cuts you, words trembling, “don’t make me go through this. i’m too weak now. i can’t.”
you’ve never seen jeongguk like this before.
it’s been over two years since he asked you to be his girlfriend. that night, he scored a goal for you. you knew it the moment the ball hit the net.
even with his teammates swarming him in celebration, his eyes searched for yours, locking on the moment he found you in the stands.
wrapped in your wool scarf, your face almost fully hidden, the way your eyes turned into crescents and your cheekbones so prominent was unmistakable.
the smile that you shared was sheepish, but brimming with meaning. carrying all those emotions you had both been tiptoeing around for so long.
for a while, your feelings had been caught in a slow dance, never fully picking up, but nonetheless comfortable with the motion.
jeongguk always found a reason to have you near, inviting you to practices and matches, because only your presence could give him the strength needed. and you always found a reason to show up.
even more when you easily fell into the routine that followed every encounter, evenings spent at your apartment, on your couch.
it was a schedule you soon came to love, with him making you laugh, an arm draped over your shoulder, your leg casually resting across his lap. the movies you would put on would quickly become background noise as his playful jokes turned into shared glances, quiet giggles, and stolen kisses.
kisses that felt like the ones teenagers share when they’re crushing on someone for the very first time.
kisses that didn’t evolve into anything more until that night, when he scored for you. it was unashamedly sweet, the feeling he gave you.
back at his flat, his face lit up with a grin so big it was infectious. the rush of adrenaline from winning the game and the joy of finally making you his girlfriend radiated from him.
it’s a stark contrast to his expression, now. it’s drawn with helplessness, clouded with a desperation that makes you ache.
he looks tired of fighting, of holding it all together. and it’s not just that— there’s a deep yearning, a frantic search, a needy plea to be understood, to be seen by you.
there’s nothing that truly comes more innately to you. it’s second nature, caring for him. knowing him. looking after him. tending to his physical and emotional scars. and you don’t want him to scrape his skin further.
you try to reason, “what— what about your things, don’t you at least want to—“
“i’ll ask taehyung to take my bag with him or something,” for the state he’s currently in, he still looks willing to do anything if it means getting out of here. and so, he begs again, “please. can we go home?”
you know you can’t say no to him. that’s not something that comes as good to you. not in your nature.
“this is not the way to your house.”
still in his soccer jersey, the uniform’s shorts touching his knees and holey socks high up his calves, muddy boots hurting his feet, jeongguk sits quietly next to you in the backseat of his car.
his chauffeur drives steadily, away from the hurt, and each mile puts more distance between jeongguk and the weight of the loss, the field, the pressure. he feels himself leave fragments of disappointment behind, back there.
it’s been a long time since it was just the two of you in his car. jeongguk would be the one driving, his left hand steady on the wheel, the right one always reaching for yours, a quiet confirmation of his love.
now, someone else takes care of the driving, especially after games, or in moments like these when jeongguk’s mind and body are too exhausted to handle anything more.
ever since the goal that changed everything between you two, jeongguk’s life took off. a big team recognized his potential and signed him, a moment that marked his breakthrough as pro in the football world.
then, it became a whirlwind. constant games, media attention, opportunities flooding in, and money pouring from every direction.
he bought a house — a mansion, really, — just outside the city, the kind of place he dreamed of as a small kid with big ambitions. everything about it is luxurious, grand, all jeongguk thought he wanted.
but there’s been something left behind, back in the quieter days when he was just a young player fighting for his place on this planet.
you met him before the fame, before his name was on the backs of jerseys and his face on billboards. you fell in love with the boyish version of him, the one who lived in a cramped flat, working tirelessly to make a name for himself.
you’ve been there through every step, enough to recognize the struggle in his eyes.
you so easily catch that flicker of awareness in him. the jolting confirmation that all of this is real, his orbs trembling. and when it hits, he retreats into himself, lets anxiety creep in.
he may not voice it, but you know the root of it. the fear of losing himself, of becoming someone else, of forgetting the version of him that’s grounded in simplicity and love.
jeongguk fears intertwining himself with what he always wanted will inevitably erase what he’s always been, the son of hardworking parents in busan, raised on sacrifice and dreams.
what he always had with you. quiet, uncomplicated. happy with the ordinary things, eating ramen on the floor of his tiny apartment, driving around just to talk about anything and nothing, reading quietly next to each other in the cafè you’ve introduced him to, your presence a comfort to him long before he realized he loved you as more than a friend.
jeongguk wants to hold onto that simplicity, and he wants you to be part of that. he wants you to stay by his side, to be the reminder of who he is beneath all the noise. what he wants to keep being.
because you’re his constant, unwavering, never changing. you’ve never needed him to be more than who he already is. you never look at him with the kind of judgment or disappointment that seems to follow him after every missed opportunity. there’s no pressure, no expectations of success.
in your eyes, he is just jeongguk— the same boy that approached you with a bad pun only to clumsily blame it on his drink. the one you built a familiar rhythm with, ordinariness always just enough for you. for the two of you, together.
you don’t need mansions, fancy restaurants, designer clothes. you don’t need grandeur. you’ll stay the way it’s always been, and the way you both want it to stay.
he quickly scans your face, letting your words register. your brows are furrowed slightly, pouty lips parted as if you’re about to tell the driver that he’s going the wrong way, headed somewhere other than the house he now calls home.
before you can speak, jeongguk interrupts you, his voice soft and suddenly self aware, “oh, i— sorry, i gave directions to your apartment. i just really wanted to be there with you.”
you blink at his fragile honesty. he had begged to be home, and now here you were, on the way to your own.
warmth spreads through you, and you can’t help but break into a big smile, one that eases the tension in his forehead, and mirrors softly in the grin that tugs at his pierced lips.
leaning in, you place a peck on his cheek, “it’s okay, baby. i’ve got so many of your clothes in my closet, there won’t be a problem.”
his low chuckle is comforting, and he scrunches his nose in that familiar way, shuffling closer to nuzzle into your shoulder. for a moment, the world outside fades. you’re hopeful as you think you can feel the weight on his heart lifting.
looking up, a teasing smile spreads across his face, “i wonder why.”
his playful shift surprises you, though you try not to show it. you want him to feel normal, like there’s nothing you should keep being sad over. your brows raise ever so slightly before you roll your eyes in mock exasperation, the fond amusement clear on your features.
it’s enough for jeongguk’s giggles to fill the car, an arm snaking around your waist, “it’s because you always steal my clothes.”
feigning shock, you gasp dramatically, swatting him lightly. he only laughs more, soft sounds bubbling up again, and you can feel love rushing through you, swarming frantically in your chest.
you play along with him, “no, it’s because you always leave your stuff behind after we— we…”
you trip on your words and pause when you realize what nearly slipped out, sheepishly averting your gaze to glance at the chauffeur, who seemingly looks too focused on the road to hear what you’re saying.
jeongguk’s eyes light up, his smile widening as his fingers teasingly pinch your sides, “after we what? say it, baby.”
you flinch at his ticklish touch, breaking into a grin and stubbornly shaking your head no. his laughter mingles with yours, bodies pressing tighter as he leans his weight into you, his nose brushing your jaw.
being this close to him, you inhale his scent. he still smells like adrenaline, mixed with exhaustion, sweat pearling his back. the feeling grounds you.
he hums lowly against your skin, his lips trailing wet pecks along your throat, “i miss doing that.”
your chuckle turns into a frenzied groan, and you steady yourself with your hands on his arm still squeezing around you, feeling your face heat up, “that was three days ago.”
”too long,” he mumbles, kisses slowly becoming more languid, savoring you.
when he pulls away from your neck, he doesn’t give you a moment to breathe before his lips find yours. the kiss is simple, sweet, but you can feel each beat of his pulse against your mouth.
you break the contact first, your hand slipping into his damp hair, gently brushing the long strands out of his eyes. you think out loud, admiring his perfectly framed face, “you need to cut these.”
but jeongguk isn’t currently interested in haircuts. he ignores your suggestion, his focus entirely on you, and his whispered words hold a kind of raw vulnerability, “i missed you.”
you hum, threading through his locks, “missed you too, my boy.”
that’s all he needs to close the gap between you again. this time, his kiss is more intent, deeper, as if trying to communicate what words can’t. his hands pull you closer, your chest arching into him, and in between the wet sounds of your lips meeting he lets a moan escape him.
you’re quick to swallow it, your own quiet noises vibrating against him before you put distance once again, softly tugging at his hair and finding his eyes lovingly, “let’s get home first, yeah?”
but he protests, a childlike groan reverberating in his throat, eyelids fluttering shut as he basks in the feeling of you against his lips. he attacks your cheeks next, trailing down, and down, and down, kissing you through your shirt.
then, it’s his fingers touching you under it, hand traveling up and kneading your breasts through your bra, only to slide around to trace the curve of your spine.
the sudden contact is overwhelmingly pleasuring, head thrown back on the headrest as quiet whimpers leave you. jeongguk is as hungry as ever, seeking for proximity no matter your bodies already molding with one another, his teeth scraping against your most sensitive spots, almost digging, eating, tasting.
and you want to let go, allow him to give you every last thing he’s holding onto, be selfish and take it all for yourself.
but you can’t when you know this is just another one of his escapes. he’s using this moment to drown out the chaos in his mind, to run from his pain, to bury his burdens and get high on a dopamine rush.
“baby, wait—“ in between gasps, you manage to get your voice out, but its whisper doesn’t seem to reach jeongguk’s ears, his long digits boring holes in the flesh of your bare thighs, prickling with goosebumps at his feverish touch.
in your own daze, you carefully take a hold of his face in your palms, lifting him up from the devoting motion of his lips on the edge of your shoulder, and the look in his eyes is hazed, inhebriated on the the burning of your skin under him, but it’s tinged with desperation.
behind his orbs there’s no other thought but to chase you, his only refuge, and your sweet smile only aggravates his crazed desire, trying to catch your mouth with his before you open it to speak, “i don’t want us to do this while you— you’re still mentally fragile.”
your worry is laced with love, it’s clear from the way it spills out of you, seeps from your delicate touch on his cheeks. but jeongguk’s eyes still widen in shock and shame, orbs shaking with panic.
his brows furrow in an attempt to conceal his turbulent emotions, but the city lights continuously flashing through the car windows only accentuate the glistening under his eyelids. he stammers, “i— i’m not— i’m… please. don’t reject me.”
the plea is shaky, and it makes your pulse race with agitation, fingers grasping his jaw with more intent as you’re quicker on your words than your own thoughts, “oh, honey, i’m not. look at me, please,” the way he flickers his gaze down only makes more panic flood in your veins, and you frantically search for him.
you manage to sound stable, whispered words fanning over his lips, “i just want what’s best for you, okay? do you trust me?”
he seems to lean into your touch, looking up at you through his lashes, brows still betraying him with the way they’re drawn up in sorrow. he hums in agreement.
you smile reassuringly, “perfect. then, i’ll tell you what we’re gonna do, hm?” when he nods, you continue, brushing his hair back through your calm words, “we get to my flat. take a hot shower. i make us something warm to eat. and then, if you still want to, i’m all yours. in our bed. sound good?”
our bed. the flicker in your boyfriend’s face doesn’t go missed. it’s fond, it softens his eyes, and it rushes down to his lips, struggling not to break into a grin. he pouts to hide it, and you can see he’s still ashamed by his earlier rush, his response muffled, “okay. i love you. i’m sorry.”
you coo, pulling his head to rest on your chest, drawing comforting strokes along his damp back, “i love you more. you did nothing wrong, baby.”
the both of you stay like that for a while. his cheek is squished against your breasts, lips parting to release quiet huffs, and your soothing motions run down his arm.
the quiet moment is interrupted by jeongguk’s phone ringing once again, loud and persisent, for the nth time in less than half a hour. he doesn’t even glance at the device when declining the call, and you catch the name flashing before the screen goes black.
it’s his coach calling. you stay quiet as he shuts off his phone completely, tossing it onto the empty seat next to him.
only a few moments pass before he looks up at you, his expression hesitant, a timid smile trying to mask the uncertainty in his eyes. you return his gaze with quiet confidence, nodding subtly, letting him know that you’re here with him— no matter what.
right now, all that matters is that jeongguk feels safe in your arms. you don’t care about the consequences he might face tomorrow. you’ll be there for him, just as you are now, when he needs you the most.
the moment you both step in your apartment, shoes messily discarded at the entrance (you’ll make sure to take care of his boots later), he trails after you like a lost puppy. he becomes your shadow, mirroring your every step with big eyes and a natural pout.
“take your uniform off, baby,” you gently instruct him while letting the water run from the shower head, adjusting the temperature until it’s hot enough for the both of you.
he slumps over on the toilet lid, eyes never leaving you as you move around the bathroom. when he lets them travel down your figure, a low groan escapes him.
you look so good in your skirt, the high socks triggering a weird, primal instinct in him, stirring dark fantasies that have him wishing you’d let him take you right there on the sink.
but he knows better than to mess with the plan you set earlier in his car for the both of you to enjoy the night, so he only allows himself to play with you a little, “can you do it for me? i’m tired.”
he really does seem tired, the exhaustion visible from the way his hands tremble slightly and his eyelids drop, but the look only adds to the lazy smirk spreading on his pierced lips. he knows what he’s truly asking for.
you narrow your gaze at him only to roll your eyes when he doesn’t look like he’s going to surrender any soon, grin only widening, and you pull him up by the jersey.
he complies, brows wiggling in teasing disobedience, looking down at you from his taller stance, “woah, commanding. i like it.”
“shut up,” you only murmur as you hastily strip off his sweaty uniform, throwing it right in the laundry bin. you leave him in his high socks and boxers, smacking his round ass playfully, “take these off yourself, mister.”
he’s ready to protest, to demand your touch back on him, but you shoot him a look with your raised eyebrows, “ah-ah. c’mon, and get in the shower, i’ll bring your change.”
before he can respond, you leave the bathroom. he whines childishly, slipping off his underwear along with the uncomfortable socks, adding them to the pile in the basket under the sink. he yells over the sound of running water, “you’re coming too, right?”
“yes!” you quickly call out from the bedroom, voice raised to reach him over the distance.
you know how difficult your boyfriend can be— if he hasn’t come to drag you in yet, you’re at least hoping he’s taken off the rest of his clothes. you foolishly hope he’s already in the shower, though the chances are slim if he’s not completely sure you’ll be joining him.
that’s why you move fast, grabbing his change of clothes from the drawer where you keep all his left-behind things. in your rush, you take one of his oversized t-shirt and a pair of boxers for yourself, too.
when you return to the bathroom, you’re not surprised to find jeongguk standing in the middle of it, bare and waiting for you. his eyes light up when he sees you, taking the clothes from your hold and placing them on the counter, “i was about to come and get you.”
you scoff lightly, trying to fight the smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, but it’s no use. especially when he reaches out to pull you closer, fingers working at the zip of your skirt and sliding it off with ease, his own grin warm on his expression.
you gently push him toward the shower, pretending to scold him, “i can do this myself, thank you. now get in, silly.”
with a disappointed, and very adorable huff, he finally obeys, stepping under the hot steam of water. you can tell by the subtle way his shoulder relax that the heat soothes him, but the tension doesn’t completely ease from his muscles.
he tracks your movements attentively, taking in the way you strip yourself completely bare, and only when you step in the small cabin and close the sliding window door behind you he sighs in relief.
jeongguk engulfs you immediately, positioning you both directly under the cascade of water. it blurs your vision slightly, your bangs flattening on your forehead.
you push them out of the way, your hands then finding his own hair to slick it back, allowing you to see the fondness in his eyes clearly.
you look up at him through wet lashes, chin placed on his toned chest, and his own is dipped low to meet your gaze, take in the smile spreading and making your dimples show.
it grows bigger when he sheepishly scrunches his nose, the love seeping from your orbs suddenly overwhelming, and you press a gentle kiss to his adam’s apple before pulling yourself away, voice a whisper, “let me take care of you.”
jeongguk doesn’t argue, complying when you ask to hand you his shampoo. you’d originally bought it as a joke during one of your grocery runs together, picking it off the shelf with a laugh and pointing out the label— johnson’s baby shampoo, made with honey and wheat extracts, and on sale too. you’d exclaimed how it was so jeongguk, and he’d let you try it on him as soon as you got home.
the joke had stuck, and to your surprise, he ended up liking it more than you did. now, it was the only shampoo you used on him whenever he stayed at your place, a small tradition between the two of you.
as you work it into his damp hair, jeongguk’s eyelids flutter shut. he eases into your touch, body going loose as your fingers massage his scalp with the perfect amount of pressure, the kind that always seems to make him melt, the one that could immediately put him to sleep.
you wash it off and repeat the motion once more, taking your time. only when his hair is thoroughly cleaned do you reach for your vanilla body wash, moving on to carefully lather it over his skin.
tracing every line of his body, you watch the way he softens more with your touch, unconsciously swaying closer.
you’re slow, deliberate in your motions, letting your hands run over his shoulders, down his arms, across his chest. his skin is warm and slick under your palms, and every now and then he lets out a contented sigh.
the sounds get fuller when you finally reach his back. you press a little harder, working out the knots you can feel lingering there. he groans softly, his head falling forward slightly, droplets of water dripping from his hair onto your face.
“feel good?” you ask quietly, your voice barely audible over the sound of the water.
he nods, his voice low and drowsy. “yeah, feels amazing.”
his moans grow unrestrainedly louder, eyes rolling back, and you would tease him for it if the sight of him like this wasn’t having its own effect on you.
biting your lip, you press your fingers deeper into his muscles, and suddenly his hands grip your waist, tight enough to startle you.
it has your mouth opening unconsciously, brows furrowed at the sensitivity. you almost give in when his palms slip further down, resting on the curve of your ass, and for a moment you consider the temptation, but the triumphant smirk on his face immediately pulls you out of your daze. your own fingers work to move his hands to rest at your shoulders.
you manage to sound stable, but you can feel the slight shake in your voice, “hands up here, mister.”
“oh, c’mon,” he has the audacity to whine, the sound muffled by his pouty, and so inviting lips.
you almost cave at the sight of him, his eyes wide and pleading. but you know better. if you let him push the boundaries now, things won’t stop here, and the careful rhythm you’ve set will be forgotten.
it’s not just him you’re trying to hold back— it’s yourself too, especially when his gaze almost breaks through your resolve.
you shake your head, trying to gather your composure, suddenly turning off the water and sliding the shower door open.
jeongguk groans in protest at the contrasting cold air hitting his skin, but you promptly step out to reach for your bathrobe and wrap it around him.
pout stubborn on his lips, he follows you out the shower, but instead of arguing further, he surprises you by engulfing you both in the same robe, pressing his chest against your back.
his arms circle you, and he starts rubbing the spongy material of his sleeves against your body, trying to dry you both at once.
you snort, amused by his antics, “what are you doing?”
“i’m drying us.”
“this will take us forever—”
“no, see? i’m already done,” with ease, he slips out of the robe, laying it over your shoulders and tying the belt snugly around you.
then he casually walks over to grab his change of clothes, pulling the t-shirt over his head despite the fact that his hair is still dripping with water.
you roll your eyes at the sight of it soaking into the fabric and gently push him to sit on the toilet lid, “don’t move. you’re still wet, god.”
“that’s what she said,” he wiggles his brows, eyes gleaming with immature delight as he grins mischeviously.
you sigh, struggling not to laugh at his pun. instead, you wordlessly grab the hairdryer and start running it through his damp locks.
he obediently leans into you, closing his eyes and resting his head against your chest as your fingers run along his hair. the warmth from the device makes him nuzzle even closer, his posture fully relaxed between your legs.
once his hair is dry and his clothes no longer clinging to his skin, you finally shut off the hairdryer, giving his now fluffy locks a final pat.
the time it took to dry jeongguk allowed the bathrobe to work its magic on you too. you quickly slip into his boxers and one of his many stussy t-shirts you picked randomly, tying a towel around your hair.
you prepare to head out of the bathroom, but before you can his hand gently stops you, gripping your forearm, suddenly towering over you when he stands up, “where are you going?”
“to make us dinner.”
“i’ll do it. you should dry your hair, or else you’ll get a headache.”
“but—”
“no but. you already did enough, baby. i’m okay, i swear,” his voice softens, and the fond look in his eyes makes it clear he won’t let you argue further. he doesn’t even let you respond, stepping out of the room and heading to the kitchen.
a smile tugs at your lips, and you take a deep breath, the comforting scent of vanilla and honey still lingering after he leaves.
you’ve always appreciated jeongguk’s attention to detail. he knows how long it takes you to care for your thick, long hair and also remembers the countless nights you complained about your head hurting from leaving it damp. he always listens, even to the smallest things.
twenty minutes later, you’re warm and dry, stepping into the kitchen where the delicious smell of soup greets you. jeongguk is behind the stove, stirring a pot and softly whistling as he tends to another pan on the burner.
when he notices you, his eyes brighten, trailing over your legs and the way his t-shirt sits just above your thighs, revealing glimpses of his boxers. as you approach, he grins, “what’s a pretty woman like you doing here, alone?”
you’ve been with him long enough to know this is just the start of one of his playful roleplays, so of course you instantly know your line, “i have a boyfriend, actually.”
“oh, really? is he here too? can he fight?” his voice drops lower with every step you take towards him, with the last words coming out as a growl as you stand in front of him, looking up into his eyes.
you snort, “you’re so dumb.”
he stays in character, raising his eyebrows, “no, tell me. can he?”
you hum thoughtfully, pursuing your lips as you pretend to consider, your eyes wandering before settling on his again, “yes. he’ll break your nose.”
he chuckles, feigning surprise, “god, he sounds tough.”
“he is.”
with an arm snaking around your waist, he pulls you closer, his lips brushing your ear, nose tickling your lobe, and he whispers, “but i just want you so bad, young lady. don’t tell him, hm?”
his mouth is on yours next, molding together in a sickeningly sweet, lingering kiss, and you let him find your tongue with his own, your front arching against his.
with your arms wrapped around his neck, you part slightly, your eyes jumping on every corner of his face. your voice is thick with pure love, “do you feel better, big boy?”
jeongguk smiles, presses it against your forehead, “so much better, thanks to you. i love you.”
“i love you more,” you momentarily lose yourself in his expression, and you have to blink harshly to pull yourself out of the daze before you fall too deeply into your emotions and start waxing poetic, letting your heart run as wild as the love in your veins.
you move from his hold, busying yourself with setting the small table in your kitchen, grabbing the usual pink glass for yourself and the yellow one for him.
he chose them himself a long ago, said pink reminded him of the way you blushed at his every action, and the yellow symbolized a sunflower always turning toward its sun, because, “that’s how i’ve felt ever since i met you.”
as you arrange the glasses, you almost forget what you were about to ask, but the faint ring of your phone from the bedroom reminds you, “is your phone still off? coach has been calling me.”
his brows knit slightly, betraying his otherwise calm demeanor, but he doesn't meet your eyes, focusing instead on plating the soup. “can we— not talk about it? just for tonight?”
a small gasp escapes you at his quiet plea, and you rush to his side to help him, taking the plates from him and placing them gently on the table, your words hushed, “of course, baby. i was just worried you might want to hear from him. i don’t care about all of that, i only care about you.”
a sheepish smile breaks through his composure, his front teeth worrying at his lip piercing. he looks up at you, lets himself be coddled by the warmth of your gaze, and he sounds just as timid as he looks, “hm. that’s what i wanted to hear.”
you shake your head fondly at his vulnerable side, motioning for him to sit with you, “silly. come, let’s eat, and then we can get some sleep.”
even after swallowing the burning soup, jeongguk still finds a way to tease, nudging your foot under the table with a mischievous grin.
"you’re not getting any sleep tonight," he quips, his voice low with playful intent. you roll your eyes and kick him lightly, making him yelp in exaggerated shock.
it becomes a game of back and forth, his dirty jokes pushing boundaries just enough to make you question if he’s actually serious. there’s a part of you that selfishly hopes he means it, but the side of you that knows him inside and out knows better.
sex for jeongguk isn’t just a casual thing, especially after a night like this. for the two of you, intimacy is more than physical— it’s an act of devotion, a way to connect deeply when words can’t express everything.
it’s never about distraction or escape, but about grounding one another, the flicker of something real and tender at the core of it.
tucked under the covers, waiting for him after he convinced you he could handle the dishes himself — arguing that picking a movie was just as much work — you’re not surprised by what he says when he finally enters the room.
“baby… i think i’m happy with just cuddles for tonight. that okay with you?”
you break into a big grin, brimming with unspeakable feelings for the man standing at the foot of your bed, for which you spread your arms open, “of course, sweetheart. come here, you big child.”
he doesn’t need to be told twice, instantly burrowing himself against the warm sheets, intertwining his limbs with yours. he nestles his head on your chest, sighing contentedly as if he’s found the safest place, “i love you. have i said that already?”
“a million times. and i’m never sick of it.”
“say it back.”
you snort at the insistence in his tone, words muffled by the fabric of your shirt, and your fingers unconsciously play with his straight locks as you swing one of your legs around his waist, your voice a whisper above the shuffling, “i love you more.”
he tilts his head up, chin resting on the softness of your breasts, “no, you don’t.”
brushing his bangs away from his eyes, you smile fondly, “i do. believe me.”
he huffs in faux protest, narrowing his eyes. but he gives in as quickly as he tried to argue, his cheek settling back to rest just where your heart beats, its steady beat lulling him into calm along with your gentle strokes along his nape.
jeongguk doesn’t resist it, doesn’t fight your love. accepts it as the purest form of closure he can get for himself, “hm. okay. i love you.”
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sillysiluriforme · 2 months ago
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When Nahima sees Caprikid, she is gonna have a fucking mental Breakdown
Man fuck caprikid hide her from mayura !!!
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aveloka-draws · 8 months ago
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I love all the characters in you au, they're all so interesting, especially... *checks rist* sins, services, sales, and dr. sun tsu.
(I do genuinely like them tho)
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I asume you mean them? if not.. beh, an excuse to draw the disciples uwu
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doctorsiren · 1 month ago
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things didn’t work out with the Mothman
I don’t think the siren mentioned in Lost Legends that Ford had dated ever had a name, so I’ve decided to call her Penelope because silly Epic reference
I found those deleted storyboards from A Tale of Two Stans where it showed the siren and so I’ve decided to draw her my way based on those boards and do some sillies (5th drawing features my friend @pinkhibiscustea ‘s mermaid OC)
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kankuroplease · 3 months ago
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At home with the Hatake Family 🖤
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hotwritergf · 9 months ago
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Breeding kink. Eddie Munson x reader. Smut. Blurb.
🍓 “Your breeding kink is actually super cute.” Eddie coos, looking at you like he just said the most normal sentence in the world. “It’s not just that you want me to knock you up, to me it says that you want forever with me, and our family.” He smiles and you blush in retaliation, the heat rising to your cheeks and over your nose in the shade of pink he loves so much. Somewhat whimpering as you nod your head in agreement, you whisper “I do Eddie. Want you forever.”
It’s Eddie’s turn to blush now as he’s overcome with verbal affection, but he doesn’t let it take over him.
“That what you want huh? Me to fill you up so good that you become pregnant with little Eddies?” He smirks, leaning against the wall pinning you between it and himself. “Your little belly will grow so big and I’ll help with everything, every step of the way. Rub that special oil on your stretch marks. Cook dinners that are so healthy and good for you and the baby. I’ll work extra shifts at the garage, anything. For you.” He kisses up your arm, stopping at your neck to nip at it gently.
“Time for us to stop using birth control huh?” You giggle, tilting your head to allow Eddie more access to your neck.
“No need for those condoms princess, not while you want me to fill that pretty little pussy up with my cum. That’s what you want isn’t it? Breed that little body up and make us mommy and daddy?”
He lifts you up by your thighs, plopping you on the bed as you rush to unbuckle his belt whilst he unclips your bra. Undressing each other like there’s a time limit to your intimacy.
“Gonna make you feel so good Eds.” You whisper with your lips kissing down his already erect cock. He grunts and pushes you onto the bed and begins to ravage between your thighs. Circling over your clit with his tongue, taking no time to tease. He wants you here, now. Eddie takes his fingers and dances them around your entrance before pumping them in and out of you at the pace that makes your back arch like a cat.
“That good enough for you angel? Or do you want something bigger in that slutty little hole?” You nod enthusiastically, pulling him closer into you with your feet wrapped around his waist.
He thrusts into you, slowly at first but picking up the pace, motivated by your moans. Your fingers get lost in his curls, tugging at them harshly which only makes him fuck you harder. His mouth finds your neck, leaving heart shaped bruises on your skin. He kisses down to your breast, sucking on your nipples and dragging his tongue over them.
“Close Eds..” Whimpering as you come undone on his cock, squirting your juices onto his length leaving droplets on his happy trail hair. His orgasm is not far behind your own. “Gonna fill you up, gonna’ fuck a baby into you” He grunts, spurting his warm cum deep into your pussy, you arch your back in overstimulation as he fucks you through the aftershocks without every slowing the pace of his thrusts.
You both collapse on the bed, completely fucked out in bliss. “Think we need to get a pregnancy test in the next few weeks love.” Eddie chuckles, his chest bopping up and down through his laughter. You sigh in content, wondering how you got so lucky, you can’t wait to make this man a daddy. 🍓
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ask-the-pioneer · 2 months ago
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Marbles approaches the tribe's trading square, where countless items are spread neatly on fabric mats. Food, weapons, vessels, bags... strings of pearls shimmering in the sun. Bingo! Perhaps she could persuade the scavengers to trade some of them.
Two individuals come out from the nearby shelter entrance. Sage - the head merchant and chronicler, and Spike - the tribe chieftain, greet their new slugcat guest in person.
"SALUTATIONS. YOU HAVE PEARLS?" Marbles signs with her hands. The two scavs look at her, unsure of the scug's intentions.
"Um… I WANT BUY PEARLS. YOU GIVE ME PEARLS, I GIVE YOU…" she pauses, and looks around. Spotting a spear nearby, she hops up to it and grabs it, then ties a piece of cloth around one of its ends and puts it in her maw. The scavengers tense up, their frills stand on ends. Why would this new guest pick up the weapon if not to use it? The guards nearby do not seem to like it either - they clutch their own spears in anticipation, watching the situation closely.
"I GIVE YOU EXPLODING SPEARS. YOU WANT?" Marbles says as she hands them a nicely crafted spear with a deep orange tint on one end. The cloth smells vaguely of sulphur.
"YOU MAKE EXPLOSIVES? WITH MOUTH? HOW!?" The scavs' eyes widen.
"MY SKILL. USEFUL! I MAKE SPEARS FOR YOU, YOU GIVE ME PEARLS. GOOD?"
Spike and Sage look at each other, barely believing what they just saw.
"…YOU CAN MAKE MORE?" The chieftain glances at Marbles. She nods her head in response.
Sage pulls their friend aside for a moment. There is urgency in their voice. "The tribute, Spike. Imagine if we sent two dozen of those spears to Metropolis. We'd earn favour and protection for at least a season, if not longer!"
The chieftain nods. "Yes… this opportunity is too convenient to pass up. Bring the pearls and calculate the exchange rate, but test those spears first. If they are usable, bring her whatever she needs to make more of them. I would still caution everyone to be careful, though."
"YES, GOOD. WE WILL GIVE PEARLS. SETTLE DOWN PLEASE, OTHERS WILL BRING YOU MATERIALS..."
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taddymason · 4 months ago
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Face to Face
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wizard0rb · 5 months ago
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cowboys and aliens
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t333th · 4 months ago
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Triceratons 🔛🔝❗❗ Mikey gets it
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callsignbaphomet · 11 months ago
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Something cute and wholesome with Loke and Uthorim. I reeeeeaaaaally hope I did Uth some justice and portrayed him correctly. It's always nerve-racking to write someone else's character but goddamn is it not a fun experience.
TWs: None.
It was automatic by now, Uthorim would wake up and the first thing he would do is stretch his arms to gently place them on Loke. On a shoulder, thigh, chest or midsection, as long as there was some contact he would leave his hand on him. Loke was usually warm to the touch which was a soothing contrast to some of the cold nights and despite all the scars and how worn and beat down he was for his age he felt soft. Uthorim softly inhaled as the light from the rising sun peeked through the tattered curtains. Before he even opened his eyes he turned over and gently dropped his hand on where he thought Loke’s thighs would be. His smile quickly dissipated when his palm touched the cold sheets. He quickly opened his eyes and found Loke’s side of the bed empty, while disappointed he figured Loke had woken up and couldn’t go back to sleep so he got up. Uthorim decided to do the same and get started on breakfast though before he did he looked all over the cabin for Loke. When he didn’t find him in the cabin he figured Loke had gone out to hunt down some radstags or check to see if the traps had caught any fish. The nearby river was surprisingly low on radioactivity and the critters swimming within those waters seemed safe to eat.
After Uthorim washed up and made breakfast he noticed Loke hadn’t returned yet. A sharp pain slowly made itself known in the pit of his stomach when the thought of Loke having run off again quickly flashed through his mind. Before panic could set in he went back into the bedroom and found all of Loke’s things neatly tucked in the corner. As he exhaled in relief he leaned on the door frame. All those weeks without him felt like something reached inside of him and ripped everything out, he couldn’t go through that again, not after he found him again and vowed never to leave his side no matter what. Once he calmed down he grabbed his jacket and decided to look for him. He knew Loke was capable and his parents had trained him well but his right knee and shoulder were in pretty bad shape, going out to hunt on his own was a bad idea so Uthorim wanted to help him out in any way he could.
As soon as Uthorim opened the door he was stunned to see Loke sitting on the wooden swing that hung from the large tree in front of the cabin. When Uthorim first got to the cabin that swing was broken but out of boredom he decided to fix it as the mere sight of it gave him a delightful sense of whimsy he hadn’t felt since he first met Loke.
“Honey? What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.” Uthorim said as he made his way towards Loke.
Loke didn’t answer. He just kept his head down while his hands loosely gripped the rope. He wasn’t even swinging on the swing, he was just sitting on it.
“Loke? Baby, are you okay?”
“Couldn’t sleep.” Loke finally answered in a croaky tone as he kept his head down.
“It’s okay.” Uthorim crouched in front of Loke and gently tucked some of his hair behind his ear to get a better look at his face. Loke’s eyes were puffy and red as if he’d been crying. His pale green eyes avoided Uthorim but as soon as Uthorim placed his hand on Loke’s chin and slowly caressed his cheek with his thumb Loke looked at him and closed his eyes while leaning towards him. A thin stream of tears trickled down his cheeks. Loke opened his eyes again and looked right into Uthorim’s. His eyes looked so worn down and tired that for a second Uthorim thought Loke was going to faint right then and there.
As Uthorim opened his mouth to say something he noticed the sleeves of Loke’s jacket had fresh blood on them. A wave of panic washed over him and he quickly unzipped his jacket. Uthorim was horrified to find his shirt drenched in blood, he then noticed there was blood on the lower parts of his pants and on his boots. Uthorim lifted his shirt to check him for injuries but Loke grabbed Uthorim’s hands and in a monotone and low voice said, “It’s not mine.”
Confused and concerned Uthorim looked up at Loke and waited for him to clarify.
“It’s his.” Loke said as he pointed behind him.
Uthorim stood up and looked towards the direction Loke was pointing to. Several yards away the mangled and torn remains of a body sat up against a tree. He couldn’t see the details and preferred not to but by the looks of it it looked like a yao guai tore the person apart. Uthorim looked around in case whatever did that was still around but then knelt in front of Loke.
“What happened to them?”
Loke looked at Uthorim with a deadpan look on his face. He was devoid of any emotion which made what he said next almost terrifying, “Me.”
“Babe, what happened? Who were they?”
“Woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. Had a dream that made me feel just really out of it. Think I didn’t wanna go back to sleep in case it came back, you know? Tossed and turned for a while but I got out and went for a walk. Kept walking and walking until I saw this other cabin further west, didn’t really think nothing of it until I saw a man sitting on the porch brooming it. I kept my distance in case he felt threatened enough to shoot first and then ask who the fuck I was. Never know how tweaked people are out here.”
“Smart, people tend to act out of fear.”
“Yeah. Thing is I had this gnawing feeling just eating away at me so I looked at him again and I recognized his face and this overwhelming burning sensation just took over. This was rage unlike any I ever felt before in my life. Without thinking I just walked up to him and as soon as he saw me he instantly recognized me. Bitch actually had the nerve to apologize to me for what he did. Like apologizing to me would take back what he and his friends did to…” Loke swallowed hard and took a deep breath as he tried to compose himself.
“Did what?” Uthorim asked with concern in his voice, “To you?” His tone turned stern as he grabbed Loke’s arms. The thought of anyone hurting Loke sent Uthorim into overdrive.
Loke couldn’t bring himself to answer. He wished what happened had been done to him instead. He would’ve switched places even if it meant carrying around more trauma, though he’d simply do what he does with his trauma: swallow it and pretend it isn’t even there. Anything to have spared a minor from experiencing something so horrific and cruel. Uthorim could feel as Loke began to shake and saw that he was visibly uncomfortable which made him all the more worried.
“Honey, talk to me, please. What did they do to you?”
“That caravan we traveled with hired a group of mercenaries to get them up north but they made everyone uncomfortable. Most of the time they were drunk and high off whatever they had, and could barely shoot straight. Spent almost every night shooting into the air and being loud enough to draw unwanted attention to the caravan. From the second Jela and I joined the caravan one of ‘em was eyeing Jela and tried to get close to him but I shot that shit down as soon as I noticed it. Told him he’s a minor, he told me to fuck off so I threatened to curbstomp him. Sometime later Jelani told them to fuck off with their bullshit ‘cause they were scaring some of the people. Then sometime after that happened the caravan lead came to us with a proposition: he’d pay those guys for their services and then tell ‘em to fuck off and hire us to take them as far north as we were comfortable with. We agreed and they left after making a scene and throwing threats around.”
Loke paused for a moment. He wasn’t sure how to navigate around the subject, especially without Jelani’s consent. He remembered how horrified Jelani felt when he found out other people aside from Loke knew what happened to him.
“A week later I woke up and Jelani wasn’t at the camp, he wasn’t anywhere. A few people from the camp and I went out looking for him and after almost two hours Dagny came running up to me. Her mouth was shut with duct tape but Jelani wasn’t with her. I panicked and got her to take me to him. Found him in some old run down house two miles from the camp. He was in the basement beaten and…” Loke knew he could trust Uthorim but remembering how he found him that morning was something that would haunt him for the rest of his life and the less he thought of it the better though he knew he couldn’t just ignore what happened. It hadn’t happened to him so ignoring it wasn’t an option.
“That asshole,” Loke pointed to the body, “and the others came back, grabbed him in the middle of the night, beat the fuck out of him and…when I found him I thought he was dead. There was so much blood and he was covered in bruises…found him with his jeans down to his knees and a lot of blood down his thighs.”
Uthorim circled the words Loke had said in his head for a bit, they felt heavy and rancid but the more he thought on what Loke had just told him the more his brows furrowed as he realized what Loke had just told him.
“No.” It was all Uthorim could muster as he understood what Loke was trying to tell him in a subtle way. Uthorim looked back at the body and understood why Loke had torn him up the way he did but part of him thought he’d gotten off easy. He felt the same way Loke did, apologizing to Loke instead of his actual victim, and after the fact as well, felt like an insult. Had Uthorim known and had he been there when Loke was tearing into that man he would’ve gladly helped. No one deserves to be subjected to such a brutality but he felt it was twice as brutal since it happened to a seventeen-year-old kid, to his family. What was worse was that Jelani wasn’t there, the need to hug him was overwhelming. Sure, it wouldn’t take back what happened to him and it sure as shit wouldn’t make him forget it happened or probably make him feel better but it was Uthorim’s way of letting him know he was there for him. Jelani’s absence felt all the more rotten now that he knew what had happened to him and why Loke was so worried about him.
“That shit happened to him because of me. Every choice I’ve made has been a mistake and he ends up paying for it.” Loke lamented as he began to cry.
“What? No! No, baby. It wasn’t your fault. They did that to him.” Uthorim pointed at the body with one hand while he used the other to lift Loke’s face so he could look at him to make sure Loke knew he was being truthful. “You have done everything you could to take care of him, you’ve put your own needs aside to make sure his needs didn’t go unanswered. You chose to risk your life so he could live. Not many people would do that. You’re an impossibility, my love, no seventeen-year-old kid who just lost his parents would’ve made it this far and in one piece much less with a two-year-old toddler.”
“Uth, look what happened to him. He was raped under my watch! I failed to keep him safe!”
“That doesn’t mean it was your fault and you didn’t fail him. Shit’s always gonna happen but it’s what we do after it happens that determines whether we failed our loved ones or not. You took care of him after it happened, I wasn’t there to see it but I know you, the second you found him you did everything you could to make sure his injuries were taken care of and you were right there with him to see to any and all physiological and emotional injuries too. I know you, I know what kind of person you are, I saw it the night we met at the fort. You were freezing because you gave all the blankets to Jelani, you didn’t leave his side for one second even though you were starving, you didn’t get any rest despite the fact that you hadn’t slept in days to make sure his fever didn’t come back. You were sick too but you didn’t say anything so the doctor’s attention was fully on Jelani. The love you have for your kid? I’d never seen dedication like that in my life. I think I fell in love with you that night. Everyone’s too busy taking and getting but hardly anyone gives of themselves like you do.”
Loke had no idea how to respond to that, he was overwhelmed by what he was feeling and what Uthorim was saying. There was truth to his words but the amount of guilt Loke felt was enough to choke him, he felt it was his fault for letting his need for revenge get the better of him when he saw Iain again. When he saw her all he could remember was the look on Jelani’s face when she shot him and at that moment he acted without thinking. If he hadn’t killed Iain neither of them would’ve needed to run away to avoid the NCR. If they didn’t need to run away Jelani wouldn’t have been assaulted and they certainly wouldn’t have been separated like they currently were. That sickening guilt that had been haunting him for fifteen years had reached its peak that morning when he found Jelani in a puddle of his own blood and since then it was lodged into his throat and no matter what Loke did it wouldn’t budge. He just wanted the two people he loved to be safe and happy.
Uthorim gently pulled Loke’s face towards his and softly kissed him. He didn’t need an answer, the look on his face was enough to let him know his words had reached him even if it would take a while for the realization of it all to manifest itself. Loke lazily returned the kiss. He felt spent and emotionally raw not to mention the fact that even if he wanted to he couldn’t stop crying.
“I’m sorry, love.” Loke whispered into Uthorim’s mouth as he kissed him back, his tears were sliding down his cheeks.
Uthorim picked Loke up from the swing and brought him back into the cabin. By that time breakfast had gotten cold and Uthorim was sure Loke wasn’t hungry and if he was to be honest with himself he was more concerned about Loke than he was hungry. When he first got to the cabin Uthorim had cleaned it up and fixed various things around the cabin to make it more livable, one of them being the bathroom, he managed to jerry rig the bathtub to act as a shower. When he noticed the river nearby was safe to use he kept several gallons of the water after boiling it. A neat little trick he learned from his days in the Brotherhood of Steel. He walked into the bathroom and undressed Loke who had gone mute, it was a response to stress he had since he was little, and turned on the shower. He walked Loke into the tub and as Uthorim reached for the soap Loke grabbed his hand and pulled him towards him. He understood the gesture and undressed to join him in the shower. Uthorim washed Loke and then himself, it would’ve been a bit easier had Loke not spent the entire shower hugging him but he didn’t care, Uthorim knew he was feeling vulnerable and as long as he could he’d offer whatever solace he needed. Once Loke stopped crying they shared kiss after kiss with the occasional light touching. It wasn’t meant to lead anywhere, it was just pleasant and soothing and even if it did lead to something else Loke wasn’t about to complain, he missed Uthorim more than he thought he could miss anyone.
Once Uthorim dried Loke and then himself he grabbed Loke and carried him back to the room where he sat down on the bed and placed Loke on his lap. Loke sighed as he wrapped both arms around Uthorim and leaned his head on his chest. Hearing his heart beating was the single most soothing thing he ever experienced. Loke wanted to tell Uthorim how much he missed his touch, how much he missed hearing his heartbeat, how he missed running his fingers through his hair and softly brushing the tip of his fingers over every inch of his body, how much he missed seeing his smile that could easily light up the night, and how much he missed holding him in his arms and being held by him. Tears began to form in Loke’s eyes again as he closed them and just took in Uthorim’s scent. He had so much he wanted to say but didn’t want to overwhelm him so he did the only thing he could think of that he knew for sure could summarize all that he was currently feeling and wanted to say. Loke wrapped his arms around Uthorim’s neck and nuzzled the side of his neck for a bit before he slightly opened his eyes and with a slight trembling in his voice whispered, “Jeg elsker deg.”
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thetrueressii · 4 months ago
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finally got around to drawing saint and you have no idea how much story i have for them prepared
some stuff i didnt get to write down is that arti and saint traveled when arti's kids were still alive, but they went their separate ways with saint promising to come find them
if i were to do a comic for the au, it would revolve around saint, arti, and hunter with saint following the footsteps of arti to follow through on their promise
i also figured out how i want karma and dying works in this au so ye ill put that under the cut if you wanna know about that lol
basically im going on like elden ring rules of some sort of force is constantly bringing things back to life, but time still passes, so if a creature died, they would come back somewhere after X amount of days/cycles
the more karma a creature had, the longer it takes, with karma 1 to 5 corresponding with a respawn time of 1 to 5 cycles
after karma 5 though, the respawn time begins to ramp up significantly with near max karma leading to respawn times of months if not years
most of the characters would be karma 1 to maybe just barely to 5 and is more correspondent with a spiritual karma rather than rw's in game karma of "how many days youve survived"
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acerobot · 4 months ago
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How to deal with a terrible breakup? Easy! You don't. Everything is okay in the fantasy sitcom suburb land where you control everything ever.
Silly goofy au hours. More crack than serious, but I enjoy it. I worry the three(3) episodes of Wandavision I watched and a Don't Worry Darling plot synopsis changed my neuron pathing for the worst.
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that1notetaker · 5 months ago
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I guess when you've lived deprived of entertainment for millenia, anything works.
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littlecrittereli · 4 months ago
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Oh, who is she?
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I have so much art for chapter 7 it's not even funny, but i am going to refrain from posting it all in one day....
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