#teen facts
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shortest-jorts · 2 years ago
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hail and well met, fans of this stupid podcast!!! for a while now, i've been diligently keeping a record of the dad and teen facts, and now that i have a tumblr, it's high time i plugged it here! these are lovingly curated, painstakingly maintained, and embarrassingly comprehensive, truly a sign of the most severe stage of clinical brainrot. come get y'all soup. eat up.
edit: a couple people brought up my content warning joke and in hindsight it was honestly a) not funny b) not cool and c) not helpful which is d) not any of the three things i want this project to be so i fixed it. thanks for bringing that to my attention, i didn’t realize how rude it sounded!
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petracozbi · 1 year ago
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The real reason she betrayed Taylor and had a Villian arc
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thecoddaughter · 1 year ago
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Beth is so poetic… on purpose or on accident, I don’t care!
Monsters I’ve Met is Terry’s favorite poem from before
She meets Willy and get power from him and goes on to justify him and his actions
She gets out of her Terry brain, but isn’t the Scary we knew before anymore and immediately rolls a 19 against Willy
Naive Terry turned Scary believed Willy was a good person even though people said he was bad
(She also pretends/denies that her bio dad was a bad guy)
She didn’t believe in monsters or think they were that bad as shown by that poem… or something along those lines
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The worst trauma comes from those who you love
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chloesimaginationthings · 3 days ago
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FNAF teen Michael tries to cheer up teen Vanny,,
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starii-void · 6 months ago
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going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with
-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)
-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)
-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)
-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)
-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)
-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)
-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)
-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran
-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy
-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre
-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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itbeaheadcannon · 1 month ago
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i've always just headcannoned that Stiles has keys, passkeys and codes to everyones stuff. you have a house key, car key, or something needing a code? Stiles has several copies on himself and hidden elsewhere.
like this dude has sticky fingers, and eyes everywhere. he's got the ability to get it into the sheriff's station, the school, hospital and vet. like if it's a mildly important place or is just slightly interesting, chances are high; he's got a key and code to get in
every time they try to change codes or keys, he has copies made a day later. no one is safe. no one.
people try to complain to the Sheriff, in the hopes he'll be able to stop him
he tells them all to suck it up.
while Stiles is the light of his life, he's also a feral gremlin,
the sheriff has been trying to keep him out of his stuff since he could walk
stiles also 100% has house and car keys to all of the pack
it drives argent insane that he can't keep him out
they've tried changing their stuff
it doesn't work
he also somehow got their passwords
(it wasn't hard, they're all stupid and have easy to guess passwords)
((besides Lydia and Danny))
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postureofashrimp · 1 month ago
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i actually really liked this episode, but im still sad there was no agathario :(
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lotus-pear · 1 year ago
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yeah sure therapy is nice but teen soukoku is faster and a lot cheaper
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puppetmaster13u · 9 months ago
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Prompt 225
Klarion is EXCITED. He's absolutely DELIGHTED even, unable to sit still as he flits from place to place. His baby cousin! Is! Visiting! Which OBVIOUSLY means he, as the older one, must make sure the main places are still standing so he can show his itty bitty baby cousin EVERYTHING! After all, he's never gotten to be the older one! He's always been the youngest in the family! But now he has an itty bitty toddler cousin- form recently shifted to match- to teach the ways of Chaos to! He's so EXCITED!
The League and heroes on the other hand, are Very concerned about Why the Witch Boy has been spotted in practically every major city in the US in the last few days. What is he planning?!
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boarloved-art · 7 months ago
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*wwx voice* when lan zhan visits yunmeng we should play 7 minutes in heaven and we should get specifically me in there with him think of how funny itll be if we made ou- i mean freaked him out
[ID by bytedykes: MDZS fanart. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are in a closet. Wei Wuxian has Lan Wangji backed up against a wall, one hand blocking him in. He's leaning in, smiling. Lan Wangji has a nervous expression and has an Episode-style thought bubble that says, "So this is 7 minutes in heaven..." then there are two choices: "Make out?!" and "Strangle him with a coat hanger". /end ID]
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starstuffandalotofcoffee · 1 year ago
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this was a good read
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thatstolenpayal · 9 months ago
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ngl but if i were a boy i would have been the best boyfriend
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chloesimaginationthings · 7 months ago
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IS THAT JEREMY!?
I’M GLAD YALL NOTICED THIS DETAIL! To answer your question,,, oh yknow
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bixels · 4 months ago
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vague-posting about this here cuz i don't feel comfortable yapping about my su takes on twitter, but after everything that's happened the most interesting thing about the su fandom to me is that so many are 100% there for applying the "everyone can change and deserves a second chance" message to everyone, even the diamonds. except for one ☝️ she doesn't count. cuz she's dead.
#personal#very extremely delete later#ok cutting the vague post this is about a ��whose the worst cartoon mom” twt post with pink diamond in the running#and a bunch of people pointing at her. the woman who died in childbirth and never got to meet her child. and she's literally next to#mother gothel. the baby kidnapper who kidnapped a baby#i'm always gonna be a pink diamond nuancepilled defender. she was a shitty entitled teen who grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth#then got self-radicalized and rebelled for both selfish AND selfless reasons#“this show is great because everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. except the pink one. she's bad and dead forever.”#anyways this is a crit towards the fandom not the show#“she had steven so she could selfishly escape her mistakes and put all her burdens on her child” or she wanted a child#“she abandoned her family” or she died during childbirth#“she started a war that got thousands of gems killed and mutilated” and if she hadn't nobody on earth would exist#the fact that some fans are more willing to jump to white diamond’s defense when talking about her reformation and redemption#white diamond—the architect and supreme ruler of a 10000+ year old fascist empire—has 10000% done worse more unforgivable things than pink#guys even blue diamond has shattered gems before. like not just kill them but permanently split their souls into pieces.#ruby called her a “SHATTERER.” she was INFAMOUS for murdering people. pink never shattered anyone#for fans of a show that explicitly says nobody's truly a villain you guys sure do want a villain really badly#anyways “we need more compelx female characters y'all couldn't even handle rose quartz” etc. etc. etc.
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