#ted jordan

[earlgreylatte]

How long they last in n.n.n

Hal Jordan: Thirty days.

Everyone thought he would immediately lose. Barry and Ollie were confident he would be the first one out, knowing that if there was one thing on Hal’s mind, it was sex. But what they didn’t consider was Hal’s capacity to endure all kinds of torture. As a Green Lantern, he’s been off world for months on end, sometimes with a teammate, unable to find the time or privacy to rub one out. Which of course had led to long hours of him bending you over every surface of your apartment to make up for lost time the moment he’s off duty.

Maybe his pride as a lantern was challenged, or maybe he just wanted bragging rights, either way he was in it to win it.

Hal seemed weirdly well adjusted throughout the month, more than usual. He was logging in more hours at Ferris, reading the books you recommended, and he had a certain pep in his step matched with an easy smile. Surely this was the result of low blood circulation?

By the second week, Oliver was sending you a grand every day to sabotage Hal, getting increasingly frustrated that the latter wasn’t folding. He probably thought you wanted to support Hal, but you were trying, damn it! Sundresses, oversized t-shirts, and even wearing nothing but his aviator jacket hadn’t managed to break him! The most he would do is eat you out until you were shaking from overstimulation, before wrapping himself around you, ignoring the obvious tent in his pants.

Maybe your pride was a bit wounded.

It isn’t until the midnight following November 30th, with his victory earned, that he finally let loose, rousing you from your sleep to enter you with a strangled moan, thrusting into you desperately, while groaning into your neck about how you won’t be walking for the next week, trying to seduce him like that, you fucking minx, and he wasn’t stopping until he emptied every last drop into you.

Barry Allen: One day.

He got roped into participating by Hal who made one too many ‘fastest man alive’ jokes. But he’s sure it won’t be of any issue. He’s been single before, with his university days consisting more of labs than parties, so he’ll be fine.

He quickly changed tune as soon as he entered your shared home as you greeted him with a smile. The more he tried to not think about sex, the more he did, hyperfocusing on every detail. The way your collarbone peaked out from your shirt, the scent of body wash clinging onto you after your shower, even the way you looked at him while asking what he wanted for dinner had his blood rushing downwards.

Barry Allen was not a weak man. Or at least that’s what he tried to convince himself of when you asked if he wanted to see a new lace set you picked up today. He could have easily explained the challenge to you. You would have understood even if it meant you’d laugh in his face. But he really didn’t want to say no. So when you grabbed him by the hand to lead him to the bedroom, he resigned himself to not being able to last longer than a day.

But from the way your nails scratched at his back and how you moaned and gasped into his ear, he found he didn’t mind it too much.

Ted Kord/Booster Gold: Twenty one days.

You’re not really sure how things ended up this way or how the topic of ‘no nut November’ arose from a conversation on what to order for dinner, but both your boyfriends were now trying to outlast the other. Apparently Ted implied Booster was too ‘needy’ to last more than a day, which dissolved into a debate about who the bigger ‘horndog’ is. In your opinion, they were both about equal, with Booster having a naturally high sex drive and Ted’s always in need of some ‘relief’ after work. So, you’re sure both men will call it off tomorrow.

Two weeks. Two weeks. You’re sure the water bill has skyrocketed this month with the amount of cold showers being taken per day and you even saw Ted standing against the freezer for a suspiciously long time.

“Looking a bit stressed there, Teddy. You doing okay?” Booster inquires with an innocent grin, although he seemed just as worn out as the man he was teasing.

Ted only grunts in reply, nursing a cop of coffee, gaze on his tablet, no doubt reading another tech article as he does every morning.

But unlike any other morning, there was no tryst under the sheets or shared shower that was way longer than necessary.

You really didn’t understand why they were doing this. You know for a fact both men have gone longer than a month without sex or even mastrubating, whether from injury or time travelling hijinks, so there really was no reason for those morons to deprive themselves. So, obviously, it’s up to you to return things back to equilibrium, especially since they both look so pitiful. Yes, you’re doing it for their sakes.

On day twenty, you’re at your wit’s end with those stubborn fools. Every one of your schemes have failed.

Stealing Booster’s clothes while he showered only led to Ted quickly excusing himself to talk to Barbara at the sight of the Adonis in all his nude glory.

Convincing Ted to look under the couch for the remote only made Booster leave the house entirely to go out for a jog. When he just came back from one. And he loves Ted’s derrière!

The will of men was clearly something not so easily shattered. It looks like someone needed to take the fall if you wanted things to go back to normal. For their…sexual wellness, of course.

‘Come home.’

Both men eyed each other warily, a silent accusation in their eyes, trying to determine what the other could have possibly done to warrant such a text in the group chat.

It isn’t until they hear a breathy moan that they burst into your shared room to find you splayed on the bed in a blue babydoll, vibrator between your legs as you stared at them with teary eyes.

“Can’t, hah, make myself cum,” you pant as Ted takes the toy from you, immediately changing the speed, carefully watching your face as he plants a hand by your head to hover above you. Booster follows, sitting next to you to brush away the hair sticking to your face with a remorseful expression.

“‘Shouldn’t have neglected you for so long,” Booster croons, bringing your hand up to his mouth to smother in apologetic kisses.

“Don’t worry, we’ll make it up to our needy girl,” Ted mumbles with darkened eyes, watching as you writhe from the relentless pace he set.

Honestly, it wasn’t so bad being the ‘needy’ one.

Bruce Wayne: Thirty days, but accidentally.

You were out on a trip for November, promising to be back in a month. And he was fine. He’s gone longer without you, and he could keep himself busy until you got back.

But maybe he got a bit to used to having a warm body pressed against him every night. But he was fine. He wasn’t some forlorn puppy waiting for their owner to come back. He’s a grown man, for god’s sake.

But unfortunately for him, he couldn’t even find a moment alone to relieve himself since it seemed like everyone was suddenly in the need of him! Alien tech, new gadget advancements that led to a five hour table with Fox, another Arkham break, why was November so against him? And Ghostmaker getting the drop on him while he was…thinking about you was not something he wanted to ever think about again. He’s going to have to improve security for a third time, in any case.

So when December marked the day of your return, surely you wouldn’t blame him for burying his head between your thighs while desperately rutting against the bed. He really missed you, after all.

Yeah, I love comic men so much💞💞 oh yeah, Batman is here too ig…

[jetslay]

World's Bestest.

[dc-comics-enjoyer]

More random hcs please, they are amazing

Thank you !! There you go ✨ (here's : part 1)

More random things I like to hc :

- When she's training, Diana listens to binaural beats claiming that it gives her the opportunity to train and meditate simultaneously. "It's an incredible time saving.", she'd say. Bruce would roll his eyes.

- Oliver and Hal would beg Batman to install a confessional in the Watchtower, like in reality shows. Because he obviously refuses, they'd stand in front of any security camera and use them as one, rambling on and on about the other members.

- Dick is a total extrovert. When he has some time to recharge in between day work and night vigilantism, he lets off steam in nightclubs. He took Tim (who-recharges-when-alone™) once : he hated it.

- Most of the time Dinah would show up at meetings with sunglasses to look "mysteriously cool". Actually, she can't sleep at night.

- Booster would definitely refer to himself in the third person.

- Clark being Bruce's personal masseur is one of their rituals. Whenever his super senses notice a specific tenseness in Batman's body, Clark would end up joining him in the batcave and giving him a massage session. Bruce would just accept it without a word (wrote a fic for this one : https://archiveofourown.org/works/56392753).

- When he's not the one leading the meeting, Batman is usually snacking on a bag of nuts.

- Alfred has a workshop in the manor where he makes pottery. He makes bat-shaped objects that everyone in the Batfam loves. He made mugs, plates, jars, etc.

- Booster would use Skeets as a soundboard to accompany his every actions and illustrate his jokes. Shayera lost her temper once and broke Skeets in half. No worries, Victor helped repair him, although it was still a traumatizing experience for Booster.

- Hal has a collection of Top Gun goodies. At some point, Bruce brought him the original G-1 jacket from Tom Cruise for his birthday.

- Batman is absolutely excellent at everything he puts his mind to, except the absolute purge that is the game Sekiro. It started when Tim was raging while playing the game. Bruce passed behind him and let out a fatherly "You should learn how to control your emotions better, Tim.". Cue Tim challenging him to play. Then, there remained Batman cursing at a screen, desperately replaying a boss fight for the nth time.

- Booster and Ted have this promise that if neither one of them gets married at a certain age, they'd marry each other. Although, Ted is still looking for love, Booster is satisfied with the idea he'd end up marrying Ted.

- Oliver's neck is very often covered in hickeys.

- Constantine and Alfred are actually good buddies. They facetime a lot when Alfred is busy in the kitchen and John has some free time. That's how John knows so much about Bruce.

- The batfam plays a game where they make up elaborate life stories for strangers they encounter in public. Using their detective skills, they later discover the real stories and the winner is the one whose made-up backstory comes closest to the truth.

- Sometimes, Victor and Clark play football together. They both loved it in the past and they both lost the opportunity to commit and progress in the field. It's just the two of them, but it still helps heal their inner teen.

[puuurson]

Holy shit guys this is just happenings

[funnypages]

Seinfeld, but its DC

[eyelessorange]

DC CHARACTERS

[smiisevenwhyplus]

crylaughing at these

[starringbeetle]

saw text posts and thought of Guy

[sapphyreblayze]

"Look out, bozos! The Justice League is alive and well - and ready to kick butt! Bwah-ha-ha-ha-haaa!"

Justice League Spectacular by Dan Jurgens and Ron Randall

[crossnamara]

do you ever think about how by making jordan an avatar, jon unknowingly doomed him to death once the world was returned to normal? because i do

[earlgreylatte]

Letting go of their hand as a prank

Hal Jordan: He’s big on PDA. In his eyes, everyone should have no doubts that you guys are together, even if it borders on obnoxious. So when he feels you slip your hand from his grasp, it’s okay because he prefers having his arm slung around your shoulders or waist anyway. He definitely gives you a little pinch or jostles you, smirking at your attempt to tease him. If you’re a particularly good actor, you might have him shoot you an offended look and have to play keep away with him as he dives for your hand before determinedly locking them together.

Barry Allen: He’s a bit more modest with his affection with you in public, so he loves hand holding! Absolutely shoots you a heartbroken look when you shake him off while he was telling you about a recent case. Asks if something is wrong and apologizes before you can even say something. You immediately break. Barry only huffs out a laugh before linking your arms together, remarking that you must have gotten the idea from Hal. He tries to pull the same prank on you, but can’t follow through after you smile at him.

Ted Kord: As a fellow jokester, he’s more than ready for your tricks. When he feels you trying to wriggle your hand out of his grasp, he lets go first, raising both hands above his head for a hardy stretch before continuing on without you. He immediately laughs hearing your protests as you run up to shove him. If you do get the drop on him, he would have you two linked within a second, casually whistling as you look at him confusedly. It’s also as likely for him to simply pull your hand closer and pretend he’s about to take a chomp as you desperately try to escape his grasp while laughing.

Booster Gold: The most dramatic gasp escapes him, turning to face you with a wobbling lip. You would assume he was just playing along until he grabs your hand to press against his face. Maybe if it was when you first met, he would have simply acted offended before giving you an easy smile. But now, after having to so often traverse the time stream, he’s a bit more clingy and in need of affection. Calms down when you run your hand through his hair and press yourself to his side. When you explain it’s a prank, he perks up and asks if you can try again and post it on his account.

Bruce Wayne: While he may appear stone faced, inwardly he is going over anything he could have done to offend you over the past month. When he notices the quirk of your lip, he just shoots you an exasperated look before slowly locking your hands together again. When you pull the same prank in public, Brucie would stumble onto the ground, grasping your hands, tearfully asking what he’s done to earn this cruelty. You chose to keep your pranks restricted to private spaces, afterwards.

[jetslay]

DC Super-Heroes by Gene Gonzales.

[hawkzeyes]

JSA #62 (1999-)

[anarchic-miscellany]

Terrible Screenplay Ideas: Justice League Vacation! The Justice League need a break, and Batman has booked them all an all inclusive stay at a tropical island he secretly owns!

Question refuses to remove his oufit, and his girlfriend Huntress convinces him to put on a single pair of silly sunglasses whilst she teases him with conspiracy theories about the place from the guidebook, but slowly gets drawn in.

Green Lantern is stuck arguing with a customs officer over his lack of a passport: he claims to never need one, as he is an intergalactic police officer, but Mavis is not moved.

When The Martian Manhunter moves through the customs gate, shapeshifting into an identical Hal Jordan save a fake moustache and using his own I.D which reads "Jal Hordan", he is waved through instantly, only making Jordan angrier.

Flash has already gotten there, and is causing havoc at the pool.

Zatanna has already gotten completely hammered on margaritas and is accidentally slurring spells which cause mayhem across the resort.

Green Arrow has gone undercover as a pool boy to find out which evil capitalist bastard is stealing tips and wages from the staff, and gets completely carried away.

Black Canary gets swept up by a hen party on the island, and also incredibly drunk, causing absolute carnage when she does karaoke.

Superman has been forbidden from doing any heroics and is relaxing by the pool. Unfortunately he has to resist the urge to step in and stop every minor infraction he sees.

Dr Fate is eager to catch sight of the rare "Orange Breasted Lowenthal" and tells the others he shall be embarking from the hotel tomorrow morning at 7:30AM sharp. The only one who accompanies him is B'Wana Beast into the jungle. Buddy cop begrudging shenanigans ensure

Guy Gardner is forced to share a room with Firestorm, and demands that they go thirds on the room, since there's three of them in his mind, but Firestorm's Bobby and Martin claim to be one person and go halves. Firestorm is also perturbed by the structural integrity of parts of the building, and must investigate.

Wonder Woman is hoping to find a particular souvenir on the island, scouring the shops and pawnbrokers and acquiring tacky gift after tacky gift, all of which she hands off to various members of the crew. She solves simple crimes along the way

Booster Gold and The Blue Beetle set out to score, but Ted gets stung by a bug and has an allergic reaction, and Booster keeps trying to find him a doctor. Bad luck after bad luck keeps befalling them on their journey. They do enjoy posing for photographs with adoring fans though, who keep making them go viral, but not as viral as Superman's blood pressure.

Hawkgirl is concerned with trying to win a prize at the fun fair, and becomes determined to do so, she will NOT be beaten!

Fire and Ice are super stoked to be partying and hanging out with the ultimate party animal Power Girl! They are going to have the best time! Unfortunately, Power Girl has just gone through a terrible breakup and is miserable, far from her partying self, and their weekend turns into babysitting the dangerous self pitying girl.

And Batman, with the fortress finally to himself, just wants to sit down and watch some trashy reality TV free of distractions, judgement and interruptions. But Captain Atom is using his mandatory vacation time to run an inspection of the tower.

[muchimm]

LOOK AT BOOSTERS FACE OH MY GOD

Stop bisexual sitting you

Autism king

CUNT. ?

They did such a good job with the traduction honestly, I laughed a lot♡♡♡