#tednivison

[schlunk]

horse

[smiisevenwhyplus]

crylaughing at these

[julamari]

contemplating the history of milk

[schlattslonghairytoes]

"you suck."

oc x lunch club schlatt

story summary:

Talia and Jonathan were best friends throughout high school, but a series of dumb mistakes caused them to break apart. Years later, they meet up again and hit it off, but their fears and lack of communication skills linger with this newfound tension. Will they be able to break the cycle and start talking out their problems? Or will they once again lose their favorite person.

introducing the cast of "you suck." 

JONATHAN SCHLATT

September 10, 1999

"wait when did you get so short?"

TALIA ROMANO 

September 9, 1999

"when did your balls drop?"

BRITNEY BROSKI

may 10, 1997

"Talia, why do you sleep like a semi truck, wake up!"

TED NIVISON

January 16, 1998

"what if we..."

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE 

august 12, 1998

"locked them in a room together!"

HANSUM FELLA (TYLER)

january 15, 2000

"do you guys share a brain or something?"

AND MANY MORE...

~Internet and real life!~

Ⓒ Readernumber123457 on wattpad

Ⓒ schlattslonghairytoes on Tumblr

HI EVERYONE!!! ok so heres a little backstory, i started writing this around a year ago, and it started on wattpad but i really want it to be more accessible, so im posting it here! chapter by chapter, im gonna revamp, and add some extra scenes maybe!

now let me be clear, fucking callmeca***n will NOT be in this fic. alot of the og lunch clubbers i forgot i even added half way through, so try to keep that in mind. i really hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as i liked writing it!!!

i tried to really channel that youtube in 2019 vibe, so have fun!!!

[aestheticsyoutubers]

schlatt, tednivison ↳ what liquid works best in cereal?

[dogwasthrown]

.+Stuff+.

So I had an idea. I don't see any TedNivision smut so I'd thought I'd indulge those ideas with the light of my computer screne. (Fancy Ik) I'll probably also write some insert name smut or as its sometimes called CrushX Reader smut! Of course give me Ideas as I currently don't write alot. *Cries in writers block*

[highstonedcat]

biblically accurate depictions

comically long, comically wide, and comically off-model

[obsessivestar]

Poly!ted!schlatt!reader smut request

Schlatt and Ted get into an 'argument', and schlatt starts acting like a brat towards Ted for the rest of the day.

Reader has an idea on how to get the boys to make up. So she says this in front of both of them.

"Alright, well, I'm super horny so, ted can you help me out?"

Ted gets flustered and agrees, and Schlatts brat demeanor turns into horny hunger.

He comes into the bedroom after he heard reader have her first orgasm and asks if he can join too.

Also, oral fixation Schlatt is much appreciated.

Competition:

Poly!Ted Nivison/JSchlatt+Reader Kinktober Request!

{{-I tweaked it a little but I hope you still like it and also I put way too much effort into this but y/w LMAO-}}

Graphic NSFW under the cut:

After a rather competitive game, Ted and Schlatt would not stop bickering at each other. Ted had gotten the upper hand in the game and had smoked us both. I was over it, Schlatt clearly wasn't.

"I fuckin' had ya, dude!" Schlatt spits out, being the loudest one in the room, as usual.

"Well, see, you actually didn't.." Ted exaggerates his tone, playfully pointing at Schlatt.

"Oh fuck you man, that hitbox shit was bullshit."

"Game says it wasn't, dude."

"The shield wasn't even fuckin' there!"

"I clicked the button, it was there."

"That's bullshit, absolute fuckin' bullshit."

"Didn't feel bullshit."

"It fucking was!"

"Didn't feel it."

As I turn the console off, I roll my eyes and lean back against the sofa. These two are always going at it. Always. Usually it's in a friendly way, but I could see from here how tense Schlatt was. Even with how confident Ted appeared, I could tell he needed a break too. They both needed to blow off some steam...

"...Well, that match made me horny." I gently slap my hands down on my lap and stand up, watching as Ted and Schlatt's argument come to a complete halt, both of them giving me a mixture of shock and disbelief. I'm not usually that blunt about it, but I knew it would shut them up. "Ted? You wanna give me some attention?.." I make my tone softer, girlishly so, batting my eyelashes at him and everything. I see their expressions shift in different ways. Ted's eyes flicker with excitement, a nervous chuckle leaving him, like he wasn't sure I was serous. Schlatt, on the other hand, looked silently furious, his eyes darkening in my direction. He was jealous, and hungry...Good. I can tell that even Ted knows what I'm planning, looking at Schlatt with new found confidence.

"Oh yeah...that's a much better way to celebrate my earned victory.." Ted speaks to me, but is staring daggers into Schlatt as he speaks, his words burning a hole into Schlatt. I watch as Schlatt narrows his eyes at Ted, watching him closely, very close, as Ted steps away from him and joins me down the hall.

The second we enter Ted's room, he's all over me. He pins me against the nearest wall by my hips, pressing against me as he traps my lips in a hungry, possessive kiss. He let's out a deep chuckle against my lips, pulling back briefly to start guiding me to his bed, working at our clothes as we step back.

"You think that'll be enough?.." Ted asks in between kisses, slipping his shirt over his head before latching onto my exposed neck, wrapping his arms around me to get my bra off. "Been trying to get him to join us for a while..."

"Oh yeah, he was seething.." I purr, leaning my head back with a dopey smile on my face. "Get me to be loud, and he'll come running.."

"I've got a few ideas.." Ted snickers against my skin, tossing my bra aside before shoving me onto his bed, crawling over me the second my bed hit his mattress. He catches my lips in another hungry kiss, a low moan leaving him. He begins to plant little kisses along the side of my face, trailing them down my jaw, slowly moving further down. "Tasting you always gets you to cry for me.." Ted purrs, beginning to move more down my body.

"No, let him..." I whisper out, tilting my head down to look at Ted. "I...I want him to do it.." I was expecting Ted to relent, giving him a sort of nervous smile, but he seemed thrilled by the idea, crawling back up to be at my eye level.

"Really? Schlatt?" Ted asks with a low chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief. "Ooh, you naughty girl. He'll use his mouth...and I'll use yours.."

Ted, Schlatt and I had an...interesting arrangement to say the least. I had started a relationship with Ted a couple months ago, but I knew for a fact that Schlatt also had feelings for me, Ted and I both knew. What started as a joke about dating them at the same time turned into a...strange reality. Now, I've slept with Ted many, many times and I've had my fun with Schlatt, but getting them to bed together....I've wanted it for weeks, I've dreamed about it.

Problem is, Ted knew Schlatt wouldn't agree to it if we simply...propositioned it. No, Schlatt was a man of passion, it needed to be his idea.

By now, Ted had gotten all of our clothes off, his thick fingers pumping in and out of me, latched onto my throat like a hungry lion, desperate to be sated. I was an absolute moaning mess, feeling his fingers curl up into my sweet spot with every thrust of them. It felt amazing, but it was also just making me even more aroused, my thoughts filled with the idea of what Schlatt must be doing, hearing me cry out in pleasure.

"I-I'm so horny, Teddy.." I whimper out loudly, keeping my knees bent up to allow easy access.

"There ya go, baby. Let em' hear you.." Ted whispers into my ear, increasing the pace of his fingers to urge my first release. I didn't think I could cum from someone's fingers, but the mix of Ted's dirty words and the thought of what was coming next made everything come undone. I felt my walls tighten around Ted's fingers and cum around them, letting my voice sing out as loudly as my body would allow. I needed Schlatt to hear us. I needed him to join us.

Ted slowly slips his fingers out of my core, pulling back from my neck. Since he won't be able to taste me later, he laps up my essence along his fingers, keeping our eyes connected as he licks everything off his fingers, giving me a dark chuckle afterwards.

"Think that worked?.." Ted asked in a quiet voice, tilting his head over at the door.

"Give it a second.." I whisper back with a confident smile, my eyes wandering around the room as I try to listen for him. Ted and I have never been that loud when he's here, it must've had an affect on him. When I hear some shuffling out in the hall and a defeated groan, I knew we had him. I knew it.

I hear some stomps head this way and eventually, some heavy but quick knocks on Ted's door. "O-Open the door.." Schlatt stutters, standing right outside the door. I could hear him shuffling out there, I could hear the anxiousness in his voice. He was so flustered, so eager to get inside. I'm honestly surprised that he wasn't just barging through the door.

Ted pulls away from me, both of us holding back a laugh. Schlatt sounding desperate was new, we wanted to savor it a bit.

"Not your turn, buddy.." Ted teased with a confident smile, making me lean my head back more against the pillow, a slightly tired chuckle leaving me.

"T-To hell with our fucking turns, can I open the god damn door or not?..." Schlatt snapped from the other side again. I can tell just by how his voice sounds that he's right up against the door. The calm before the storm. I know that once he's in here, he's not leaving until we've all got it out of our system, and that's exactly what I was counting on. Ted turned to look at me calmly, raising his brows as if to say 'You still want this?'.

I give Ted another tired chuckle and a smile before nodding at the door.

"Come on in, big fella."

The second Schlatt barged through that door changed everything. He had torn his clothes off so fast I couldn't even remember what he was wearing before my thighs were resting against his bare shoulders, my legs somewhat wrapped around his head, lapping at my soaked core like a mad animal in heat. I'm moaning out from the overstimulation, the only thing keeping me quiet being Ted's cock occasionally stuffing itself down my throat, my head turned to take him in fully. My hand comes up to stroke the bits of his shaft not in my mouth, feeling Schlatt's mutton chops tickling my inner thighs, my sensitive bud pulsing with pleasure. I am completely and utterly at their mercy and I'm riding it for as long as my body can handle it. Ted pulls his cock out of my mouth to make me fully stroke all of it, laughing down at me with a devilish grin.

"How's he feel, baby? Is he eatin' you well? He working it right? Ooh, you're disgusting, baby..." Ted purrs down at me, watching me helplessly writhe beneath him as Schlatt's tongue continuously flicks against my sensitive bud, over and over until my body completely gives in. I focus on Ted's throbbing cock and dirty words as I have my second orgasm against Schlatt's mouth, grinding my hips against his tongue as I ride it out with needy whimpers and moans. As the satisfied pleasure spreads up my stomach and along my inner thighs, Schlatt wastes no time and stands up straight to ready the tip of his length against me, rubbing my soaked entrance with his pointed tip before pushing in with a satisfied groan. He is much thicked than Ted, I feel my lips sting a little with how much he has to open me to slip in. He's eager, but he's gentle until my body gets used to him.

Once my core does adjust, they both use my body as roughly and as freely as they want. Schlatt is slamming his hips roughly against mine with every thrust and Ted has shoved his length right back into my mouth. I'm a moaning, whimpering, gagging mess as they fuck me senselessly. It's like everything I dreamed it would be, knowing I am completely at their mercy just increased my lust and arousal for them both.

"You're such a naughty fuckin' girl.."

"You're fucking disgusting, can't believe you wanted us both.."

"This what you wanted, you whore? You take it, you fuckin' take it."

"Choke on it, baby. Choke. On it. There you go, yeeeaahh.."

Their dirty talk mixed with my desperate moans for released all came undone when I reached my third and final orgasm. They both continue to pump their cocks inside of me to push my release to its limits, smiling and laughing at me as my body shivers and jolts with pleasure. When my body finally starts to relax, I feel both Ted and Schlatt pull out of me to stroke themselves out, releasing their warm seed on my stomach and my face. The humiliation and warmth was...everything. My curiosity was sated. After they cleaned me off, we all laid on Ted's bed, panting heavily to catch our breaths. Schlatt was the first to get up after about a minute or so. Before he'd leave, I'd speak up first.

"W-We have to do that again..." I let out a tired chuckle, turning my head to look at Schlatt. Schlatt let's out a dismissive scoff at first, holding the doorknob in his fist. He shakes his head at me and opens the door, but speaks simply before he leaves.

"Maybe."

When he leaves the room, he closes the door behind him. Ted pulls me into his chest with a tired chuckle, kissing the top of my head.

"That was a yes."

"I know."

[slvtforfiction]

High!Ted Thoughts

☆ Ted Nivison X Reader

☆ Fluff / Headcanons

☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I've lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D (Please look at pinned post to see if requests are open.)

☆ If it’s not clear,I’m a stoner btw

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

Masterlist | Pinned Post

☆ Man is zooted and just wants to be wrapped up in your arms

☆ His head is filled with thoughts of you and only you

☆ Will brag about you to anyone who will listen

☆ HATES. Loud sounds/music etc. He can’t deal with shouting (etc.) while he’s high because he just wants to chill and lie down.

☆ Like everyone,his eyes go red and slightly puffy but whilst he’s high he’ll swear he looks normal to anyone who asks

☆ He will take pics/videos of himself whilst high to look back in whilst he’s sober and laugh at before deleting them

☆ Extroverted Ted dies whilst he’s high,he will be one of the most introverted people known to man whilst high

☆ Adding on to introvert!Ted he’s very quite,only speaking when spoken to and only speaking when he’s talking about how he feels/explaining his high thoughts

☆ Man is paranoid as fuck.

“Did I just hear something??”

“No baby that’s the cat.”

“Oh my god I forgot we have a cat,where is he!”

☆ Will 100% cuddle up to you and the cat (or other animal) because he says you’re all a big family,talking about how one day he wants a bigger family with you

☆ He’s sappy as fuck whilst he’s high,clingy and sappy could describe high!ted accurately

☆ He wants to be with friends/girlfriend whilst high,doesn’t like the thought of not being able to talk to someone/have someone to protect him from his paranoia

☆ Once he starts coming down he just wants to be left alone,in bed by himself but will definitely make an exception for you (as long as you whisper to him)

☆ If you smoke he’ll smoke with you all day everyday if he could

“Hey baby,what you doing?”

“Im gonna make a joint and order some edibles,you want me to roll you one?”

“How can I ever say no to you?”

“What edibles you ordering tho?”

☆ Edibles are the death of Ted,either he won’t realise it’s an edible or he’ll eat too much on accident (400mg incident…)

☆ After the 400mg edible he won’t touch food whilst he’s high unless he has confirmation that it’s not an edible,meaning if no one else is around he’s sticking to vegetables and take out

☆ Ted on edibles (if he takes them responsibly,with supervision) will be almost too calm for his own good.

☆ Will be so slow in his movements/talk so slow as if he’s a zombie

☆ (if you mention he’s acting like a zombie you two will go into an in depth conversation about how to survive a zombie apocalypse)

“You act like a zombie” you laugh

“You know what,in a zombie apocalypse…”

☆ I will die on this hill,Ted is 100% theorising about impossible circumstances like zombie apocalypses,dragons attacking etc.

☆ Ted will sometimes convince himself that these circumstances will happen and begin talking about what weapons he will use and how he’ll keep you safe,locking down the house etc.

☆ Even whilst high you are his first thought and priority (like sober!Ted) and he will die to protect you,the worlds best couple

[schlunk]

haven't drawn ted in 6 months have i still got it

[smiisevenwhyplus]

life be one mcbruhfuck then u vibe i think

[julamari]

tbh my friend is going crazy about this milk dude and I have no clue who he is. i thought it was tednivison. this one’s for you, fruitcake.

[cel-est1al]

The voices told me that Jschlat said Rationality is 5'4" so I don't have to listen to it

[rythiecat]

I think that the guy who made the deflated girl weed psa definitely has smoked before but they just greened out and decided to campaign against it forever

[ohbabydollie]

april fools

let’s say you’ve been hyping up getting an onlyfans for a while

schlatt is 100% on board

he tweets, jokingly, not that he can’t wait for the drop

then a day before the drop you post a thumbnail for your first video

it has a picture of you and ted on the front with, um, phallic shaped items censored in black

the title? Stuffing My Holes ft. TedNivison

everyone is freaking out as the thumbnail goes viral

Schlatt’s heart is in his ass from fear

did you actually fuck ted? is this a joke?

everyone else is freaking out because you just posted the thumbnail and said nothing else

well except ted tweeting out “had a real fun time filming this one ;)”

FUCK EVERYONE CAN’T WAIT FOR THE VIDEO TO DROP!

everyone except schlatt who’s panicking

completely terrified to watch the video and see you fuck his best friend

then it’s april 1st and the video drops

everyone is watching

and yeah they watch you stuff your holes for sure

just not the one they expected

it’s over an hour and half of you and ted getting high, eating food and talking shit about people

it’s almost hilarious

schlatt is relieved

[royalarchivist]

TedNivison: I'm actually also here with my date right here, I mean, this is my pookie right here.

Cellbit: Hi honey!

TedNivison: Yeah, we're just having such a good time at the Streamer Awards.

Cellbit: Yeah, it's so fun here, it's so fun here.

[ Transcript Continued ↓ ]

-

TedNivison: Yeah, no, it's-

Cellbit: Do you want me to get something to you?

TedNivison: What's up?

Cellbit: You want me to get something for you?

TedNivison: Oh yeah, no, that'd be great.

Cellbit: Ok, I'll get you a drink.

TedNivison: Oh, thank you, thank you, appreciate it.

Cellbit: Bye honey! [Blows him a kiss]

TedNivison: [Blows him a kiss back]

ExtraEmily: Oh! Kiss kiss!

TedNivison: Yeah, no, he's great. He's great, yeah.

ExtraEmily: That's Cellbit, right?

TedNivison: Yeah.

ExtraEmily: Ok [Laughs] Just making sure- very nice date Ted!