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downbadfordraper · 7 months ago
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I've been working on Expanse gifs and it's led me to doing a rewatch even though I just finished the series literally ten days ago lol
But it's been great going through it when I already know everything that will happen. I'm seeing all these little moments that have taken on new meaning in that context, and I especially love all these callbacks I didn't notice before, like the...third? time Holden sees Proto-Miller, when they're in the galley, and it starts with Miller repeating the word 'father' again and again then transitions into 'poured coffee in the parking lot'.
Only now was I reminded that when Miller first enters Julie's apartment he uses the phrase to sync up the voice-immitation program on his terminal so he can access the unit automation systems, saying 'Father, bother, poured hot coffee in the parking lot' twice.
It gives us a clue to what Proto-Miller is doing: maybe he's trying to find a way to verbalize what he really wants to say, though even then Holden has to interpret/decode what Miller keeps telling him - go into a room (the ring) too fast and the room will eat (kill) you. Maybe he's (it's?) trying to get a better handle on the real Miller's voice - improve the fidelity of the immitation so Holden will listen. Maybe it's an attempt to access something, like when he uses the trick to access Julie's messages - maybe to access Miller's memories or vocabulary, maybe to better 'access' Holden's neurophysiology or memories, maybe to access the information he's compelled by his programming to look for, the information he ultimately needs Holden's help accessing because Holden 'exists'.
Then there are other things, like when Holden asks about the reasoning behind the hat again and Proto-Miller says it keeps the rain off his head: he said the same thing to Havelock when he was the one who asked. 'Ceres has no laws just cops' is also something he said to Havelock, and is the first thing PMiller says *to* Holden. And, of course, all the things about how to enter a room are pulled from another conversation with Havelock.
What's interesting to me about that is I can't help but wonder if it means something. I'm actually exploring that a little in the fic I'm writing; if PMiller views Holden as a partner like Havelock was. And Holden does, in a way, become his partner in investigating what happened to the Builders.
But I like taking the idea further - that this could be a reflection of the real Miller's perception of Holden. If he came to consider Holden to be a partner of a kind in the investigation into Eros, taking over the role of a man who'd rejected him for being unfeeling, for having the wrong priorities - for not being a good man, really.
That makes Holden's rejection of Miller for similar reasons that much more of a gut punch. It makes me think of how that shakes out in the novel - Miller is tired. Miller has had enough, and thinks about what a relief it would be to just let himself die inside Eros more than once then feels disappointment when he survives. There's also a moment when Holden basically calls him a member of the crew: when Miller leaves the room he cries. For everything in the book leading up to that moment we're given a Miller who considers himself to be alone, that he *should* be alone, that it's what he deserves. The only thing that makes him bother to keep going after he's fired from Star Helix is the mystery of what happened to Julie. He's given up on living before he ever even meets the Rocinante crew.
And now Holden is calling him one of his people, saying it like it's obvious - like it's a fact. And that hurts, because Miller's been alone for so long, thought things like friends and family were forever out of reach. It hurts, because he already knows he's going to kill the man responsible for Eros; he knows he's going to be kicked off the crew he didn't even know until that moment he'd become part of. He even thinks about that when he does it - expects it before Holden even says the words.
He and the Havelock in the novels don't part on bad terms like they do in the show, but for me Novel-Miller's suicidal ideation makes the novel's version of all that hit much harder. He's so unexpectedly found himself a home, but it hasn't changed anything for him. He's had enough. He's done.
And then he stays behind on Eros to die.
The issue with the bomb getting triggered early doesn't happen in the book. Miller goes to Eros with the plan to stay behind - experiences relief, even a kind of joy in the idea. And when Holden realizes where he is, he starts trying to figure out a way to get to Miller, to rescue him, even persists in trying when the plan is made with the bomb (the deadman's trigger set up via a code that Naomi sets him), and Miller has to tell him no more than once, and Holden is eventually forced to accept it.
He finds Julie and tells her she's already dead. Maybe he's been thinking the same about himself.
And even though there's none of that in the show (though we the viewers can apply a suicidal-Miller interpretation if we want to), we still get all these moments to drive things home in a different way. Havelock wasn't just Miller's partner; he'd been someone Miller was mentoring, but Miller's advice is all cast in the pall of pessimism, a belief that things won't ever improve, won't ever change. Miller seems to look at the OPA as a pointless endeavor. A universe where Belters are independent, free to self-govern, is one he seems to consider a pipe dream - impossible, foolish, pointless.
Then he meets another 'kid' with all this (misplaced, in his opinion) optimism, full of piss and vinegar and youthful chutzpah, but Holden seems to make it work. Yeah, a lot of shit goes wrong, with moments of naivety on Holden's part, but I get the sense that Miller's perception of Holden shifts with time - he comes to see him as more than this inexperienced, righteous, foolish kid. Maybe less of someone who needs mentoring and more someone who could be a real partner. Someone that Miller can (and does) learn from, just as Holden learns from him.
How might that affect the reasoning behind PMiller's choice to reach out to Holden over anyone else? How might that in turn inform the protomolecule of who Holden is and how he could be useful?
How might it have impacted Miller's ability to eventually overcome the protomolecule's directives on Ilus?
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squinkoblinko · 10 months ago
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hes thinking real hard about eating a yummy sandwich
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one with no crazy filters cause why not zzzz
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sovereignbryce · 1 month ago
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finally watched team ranchers pov of double life. wish we got more of these two lol
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yall like to pretend that "don't split up" is the most obvious rule in any horror scenario, but what's the alternative? stick together and cooperate ? to find a solution? in a life-or-death situation??? babe surely you have been in enough group projects to guess how that shit ends
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leahaart · 3 months ago
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Let👏🏻them👏🏻do👏🏻drag👏🏻
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pucksandpower · 7 months ago
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… and so it continues.
The way that Williams Racing has nearly completely lost the lovable underdog reputation they have carefully cultivated over the last few seasons in record time needs to be studied.
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willosword · 7 months ago
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i dunno the fact that mark had his whole friend group to talk to after the s1 finale and now he's down to just eve is uniquely unsettling to me
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valyrfia · 9 days ago
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lando liking hate comments on his instagram…brother put the phone down. take a deep breath. call a friend.
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rswitz · 8 months ago
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Delia and Jessie! Done for a "draw this in your style" challenge by @kianamaiart!
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emsartwork · 4 months ago
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Barbie Girls: Elina and Sunburst
In keeping with the disability theme for my modern Fairtopia, Sunburst uses an insulin pump(the back of her upper arm) and she also has a severe food allergy to fish and shell fish (like..... Sparkle fairies can't touch water.... get it....)
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purpleglitch · 3 months ago
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"Sometimes very beautiful indeed. Sometimes the player woke from one dream into another, then woke from that into a third. Sometimes the player dreamed it watched words on a screen Let's go back." ⋆。゚🪐。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Happy 25th birthday Dream! This is my part of the bday collab hosted by @theftshrubbery and @timetravelkoolaid thank you for hosting this was so much fun!!! 💕
Also me and the very amazing Nov @suenitos collaborated for the last line, they did the sketch, lighting and background, and I did the lineart and coloring 🫂💕 check out their part of the poem as well!! ^_^
Bonus close-ups!!
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city-tickles · 6 months ago
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Hi, do you know the name of the second video in this clip?
https://www.tumblr.com/city-tickles/717591168839450624/do-you-have-any-mf-clips-with-an-indian-girl
Hi! Her name is Tootsie
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couch-house · 1 year ago
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OMEGA NATION RISE... WHERE WOULD TEAM DARK BE WITHOUT THEIR BEST MOST MURDEROUS MEMBER???
VOTE HERE!!! AND ALSO HERE (TWITTER VERSION) @fernsnailz
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catsurfavs · 7 months ago
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"Dominated, you snake!"
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skyshipper · 9 months ago
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@PSCENTRAL​ EVENT 24: TEAM TOOLS PEDRO PASCAL as JAVIER PEÑA - NARCOS (2015-2017)
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myachanya · 2 years ago
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Honestly, I like this work so much xD There's a kind of warm atmosphere that makes you smile 😅
This drawing is from 2021
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