#team peapod

[ir0n-angel]

All the bonks and woot!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

*bonk bonk* 💕😘💕

[crackinglamb]

Happy Birthday, my dear! I love you! ALL the bonks! 💜😘💜🥧💜

Thank you for all your hard work yesterday. The best gift ever is you!

[gayfraggle]

now that I’m thinking about it I’m p sure I took a “what tf2 character are you?” Quiz that someone in one of the servers I’m in sent and I believe I got engineer

So apparently he just like me fr!!

I’ll watch those videos later when I get the change >:]

ehehehe >:3

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

The Peapod (The Surprise, Part 6)

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: pregnancy times, established relationship, fluff on fluff on fluff, some fairly innocent references to breasts, the most wholesome BAU content, platonic love/found family 4ever Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: You and Emily are finally ready to tell the BAU your good news, so you invite everyone over for a dinner party. Celebrations ensue.

A Note on Timeline: In my head and in this fic, we're forever stuck in the Elite Team era of the BAU (Unit Chief Hotch, Morgan, Rossi, Garcia, JJ, Reid, Emily).

Week 13: The Peapod

“What did you say this was called?” Rossi asked you, dipping a hunk of cornbread into his stew.

Light music played from the record player in the corner, and the sounds of people enjoying good food and good company surrounded you. You and Emily had invited the whole team over for dinner. Emily was dying to tell them about the baby, but she’d wanted you to be there, too. This was, you knew, Emily’s version of sharing the news with her family, especially since her mom hadn’t been very enthusiastic. The BAU was her family, and you were her family, and she loved when her two worlds collided.

“Brunswick stew,” you answered, putting a few pieces of ice in Jack’s and Henry’s bowls as you ladled so that it wouldn’t be too hot.

“Thank you much.” Will nodded at you, grinning. “Been a while since I had Brunswick stew.”

“Us southerners gotta stick together up here, right?” You placed little slices of cornbread at the corner of their bowls. “You and JJ and Henry should come over for brunch sometime. I’ll make you biscuits and gravy.”

“We’d love that,” he said warmly, settling Henry in his seat before taking his own.

“You know, Brunswick stew may have originated in either Brunswick County, Virginia, or Brunswick, Georgia, but nobody knows which one.”

You shook your head. Of course Spencer knew the origins of Brunswick stew.

He kept going, tearing bits of cornbread and sprinkling them on top of his bowl. “Originally the stew would have been made with squirrel, rabbit, or possum meat. It cooks so long that it was ideal for tenderizing wild game.”

The room went silent. You passed behind Spencer carrying your own bowl and patted him on the shoulder.

“No squirrels here, though,” you assured them. “Just pulled pork from Hill Country.”

You settled in your seat next to Emily, Derek on your other side, and looked around for a moment, smiling. You were so thankful for these people. Thankful that they took care of each other so well, that they took care of Emily so well. They did such difficult work, but they got through it together. They really were like family. Overlapping conversations washed over you, and you were content to just listen for a while.

After dinner, everyone sprawled across the apartment, conversing happily. You were standing and talking to Penelope about the new Zelda game when Emily came over and took your hand. It was time. She grinned at you, and there were no nerves, only excitement. You gave her the slightest of nods, and she tapped her wine glass.

The conversation trickled to a stop as everyone looked to Emily.

“So we actually have some news,” she started, looking at you and squeezing your hand. “Y/N and I are, uh… we’re having a baby.”

Jaws dropped and huge smiles broke out.

“What!?” Penelope squealed excitedly, wrapping both of you in a bear hug. She was echoed by the whole team’s congratulations, happy calls of “Wow!” and “Congrats!” and general sounds of happiness, even a few scattered claps.

“Which one of you’s carrying?” Rossi asked.

Spencer answered before you could. “It’s Y/N. You can tell because she’s gained weight around the face and also because her breasts are significantly bigger to prepare for breastfeeding.”

“Spence!” JJ exclaimed, smacking his arm. A happy roar of laughter broke out, and you blushed beet red.

“Reid, can we not talk about my wife’s boobs, please?” Emily chastised, but you could tell she was overjoyed. This was the reaction Emily deserved from her family. You were so glad she was finally getting it.

Hugs were given all around and happy mumblings took over the room as you and Emily were swarmed for conversations and congratulations.

Rossi put his arm around your shoulder and squeezed. “I’m happy for you kids,” he said, placing a quick kiss on your cheek.

“Thanks, Dave,” you said, smiling at him.

Penelope swallowed you up in another hug. “I am so excited!” she gushed. “You and Emily are gonna be the best, most kickass moms, and we’ll have another little BAU baby! Have you all been clothes shopping yet!? Can I come!? Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?!”

You laughed and rolled your eyes. “Well, Emily’s pretty sure it’s a boy, but that’s based purely on her ‘profile,’ so it’s still up in the air.”

“Ugh, profilers, am I right?” Penelope groaned, commiserating with you.

JJ and Will came over to offer their congratulations, too, hugging you tightly.

“It’s the greatest gift,” Will told you. “There’s nothing like it in the world.”

“How far along are you?” JJ asked.

“Thirteen weeks.”

“Second trimester,” she observed, nodding.

“Yeah, thank god,” you said, chuckling. “Morning sickness kicked my ass.”

JJ laughed, then shuddered. “Oh, I remember. Is Emily taking good care of you?”

You couldn’t help but smile. “The best. She’s amazing. I couldn’t do it without her.”

“Well, I’ll try to keep her home as much as I can,” JJ told you with a wink.

“Thanks, JJ.” You squeezed her hand.

“And, you know, if you need anything, we’re here,” she added. “Even if it’s just to call and talk about the shitty parts of being pregnant.”

You groaned, but smiled. “Please. And thank you. Emily’s here and she’s great, but…”

“It’s different when it’s your body.”

“Yeah. It is.”

Reid came to stand awkwardly between you and JJ. You were all silent for a moment before Spencer blurted, “I’m sorry I talked about your breasts.”

You and JJ burst out laughing.

“It’s okay, Spencer,” you assured him, patting his back.

“I’m really happy for you both,” he said, so straightforward, so awkward and sincere. You loved that about him.

You noticed Hotch standing off to the side, waiting his turn to speak with you, and excused yourself to join him.

“Congratulations, Y/N,” he said, smiling softly, wrapping you in a quick hug. Hugs were rare for Hotch, and you felt honored to be a recipient.

“Thank you,” you said, and you really meant it. You stood in comfortable silence for a few minutes, watching the team gather around Emily, smiling and laughing. You beamed at her. She looked so happy. You loved seeing her happy. You loved seeing her loved as deeply and as well as her team loved her.

“I hope you know,” Hotch ventured, his voice serious. “That I do everything I can to make sure she comes back home to you safely.”

“I know,” you said, taking his hand and squeezing it. “Thank you, Hotch.”

The last to approach you was Derek, and he had already known. Emily had told him just a few days earlier, swearing him to secrecy until the dinner party.

He smirked at you, pulling you into him for a hug. You wrapped your arms around him and squeezed.

There weren’t any words needed, not with you and Derek. He was Emily’s best friend. He was over for dinner or video games or a movie at least a few times a month. He was like a brother to her. And, therefore, he was like a brother to you, too.

You both watched Emily, who was showing the rest of the team a photo of a peapod to illustrate the baby’s size. Her face was alight, her cheeks tinged pink with joy and probably a little too much wine. God, you loved her.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Prentiss so excited.”

“Me neither.”

Derek looked down at you, smiling. “You know she loves you more than anything, right?”

You nodded, feeling so happy you thought you might cry. “I know.”

“She picked good,” he said, his arm around your shoulder.

“Are you gonna be Uncle Derek?” you asked him. You hadn’t talked about it with Emily, but you were sure she’d be on board.

“Girl, I better be Uncle Derek.”

You laughed and rested your hand over your belly, your heart full. This baby was going to be so, so loved.

Later that night, Emily crawled into bed next to you, flopping onto her back and grinning like an idiot.

“Happy?” you asked, eyes shining as you stared at her.

She exhaled deeply, her tongue pushing at her bottom lip then, so quickly it took your breath away, flipped over and kissed you. It was a happy kiss, a light kiss, a kiss that wasn’t quite a kiss because you both were smiling and laughing so much.

“You make me happy,” she said, her hands gently cupping your face. You pecked her on the lips once more before her nose crinkled up in a smile and she fell to your side, wrapping an arm around your waist and laying her head on your chest.

You held her close and kissed the top of her head, running your fingers through her hair. So soft, like it was running water. It wasn’t often that Emily let you hold her, and it was even less often that she initiated it. So you held her tight, taking advantage of the rare and beautiful moment. Maybe it would become less rare, you thought. Maybe the little peapod was making Emily go soft. She already was, of course, but she had a hard time admitting it, showing it.

“You deserve to be happy,” you told her as she drew lazy circles on your stomach with her fingers. “You deserve people who love you.”

She was quiet for a while, and when she finally replied, her voice was barely above a whisper. “You really think so?”

You kissed her head a few more times for good measure. “I do.”

Emily took your hand and kissed your palm, holding onto it and twisting your wedding ring back and forth. Neither you nor Emily said anything else, and you didn’t need to. Everything unsaid had already been said, time and time again, year after year. All the words of love and dedication and admiration–you’d said them so often that sometimes the silence simply spoke for you. And sometimes you just held each other and let it.

[neysaadept]

Prometheus Chapter 8

Emily Prentiss x Female CIA Reader

Chapter 8 - Excision Part Two (Criminal Minds Case Time)

Tags: Limited use of y/n but established last name. Swearing, mentions of the pandemic and human and sex trafficking. Canon typical violence. Sexual innuendos. Drinking. Smoking. Slow Burn. Murder. Depictions of Flaying. Implied Rape. Mentions of Date Rape Drugs. Strangulation. Restraints. Mental Institutions. PTSD. Childhood trauma. Psychological Trauma. Implied references to child abuse. Minors DNI.

Word Count: 6k

AO3

Chapter 7

You were hanging out in Prentiss' hotel room later in the evening. She was able to reserve three rooms for you all at a hotel in Indio to be close to the unsub’s hunting grounds. You all decided to eat dinner together while processing the information gleaned from the M.E. and Rossi’s interviews, which ended about an hour ago. You all felt you could think clearer here than at the station. Sheriff Grosch was breathing down yours and Prentiss’ necks every step of your investigation since the tox screen came back. It was unbearable. Even you being direct that you needed space to work without constant interruptions that had nothing to do with the case fell on deaf ears. So, the two of you said fuck it and called Rossi to meet you at the hotel. The station knew how to contact you if anything further came up. Local law enforcement had given you everything you needed and were just in the way at this point and explained you would have the profile nailed down soon to announce at the station late tonight.

Garcia had given you a brief update on the ‘Home Team’. JJ, Luke, and Tara almost had the unsubs but were distracted by them hacking into the Bluetooth speakers to lead the BAU away from their exact location in the house. They were able to flee the scene with two more dead guards to process. They worked out the profile and announced it to local PD. They believe they’re local so they’re hoping they can make an arrest soon.

You also feel that the unsub is local based on the geographical profile you worked out that was taped on the mirror over the flatscreen. You had marked up the dumping grounds of both bodies, where they lived, worked, and where they were last spotted. There was far too much overlapping for the unsub not to be familiar with the area. They were staying inside safe hunting grounds.

Dave was able to find out that McGarth was meeting a woman for drinks at the bar. It wasn’t just a wind down and hopefully get laid. The meet up sounded like a date. Unfortunately, his boss and the other members of the firm had no idea who this mystery woman was. Garcia was running through dating apps to see if there was a match with McGarth, but the guy was a player. He had several apps and lots of ladies that he was chatting it up with. That would take time on top of Garcia working with the home team in tracking down the security guard murderers, but she assures you all that she’s got this.

Sulliven’s family and his assistant were not helpful. The timeline indicated that he left work like usual but never made it home. His family thought he was working late at the office, which was not unusual.

You also learned that neither victim was sexual assaulted nor had any trace residue of semen. That was the part that was baffling the three of you – the method didn’t match up with the assault.

Rossi was sitting at the desk, using a fork to eat his orange chicken which made both you and Prentiss poke fun of him since the two of you were using chopsticks.

Prentiss was currently on the bed plucking out a peapod. “So why drug them? I get the sedation but drugging them with no signs of sexual aggression doesn’t add up.”

“The drugs were used on both victims,” says Rossi. “It’s possible that’s what they had access to.”

“But flunitrazepam isn’t sold in the US. Even doctors barely use it in other countries” you add before munching on a steamed shrimp. You had made yourself comfortable on the floor sitting cross legged.  

“But they can?” Rossi leans back thoughtfully. “Not common but possible.”

You shrug. “Not unless you bring a script to your local drug dealer. And by script, I mean cash.”

“With how meticulous our unsub is, I find it hard to believe that they’d visit a drug dealer.” Prentiss shakes her head and motions animatedly with her hands, keeping a firm grip on the veggie between chopsticks. “They like being in control. Everything’s done with precision and going into the wrong part of town meeting a drug dealer gives up a lot of control.”

“A lot of countries have access to it. Australia, Japan, Mexico … quite a few countries in Europe.” You were well aware of this having worked with Interpol investigating a serial rapist in the UK and Ireland. Despite being legal, flunitrazepam was used as a date rape drug in other countries as well. “Can always narrow down our doctor pool with any international travel.”

Garcia’s search brought back over five thousand surgeons in Thermal area. With the flaying technique used, you narrowed it down to plastic surgeons but that only got the suspect pool down to over two thousand. You were in California. There were a shit ton of plastic surgeons.

“And with the bodies being relatively untouched, the unsub is probably female,” says Rossi. “Majority of rape victims are women. Especially with the use of date rape drugs.” He pauses in consideration. “Is it possible that our unsub picked her victims because they’re sexual offenders?”

Prentiss immediately facetimes Garcia on her laptop who immediately appears with a friendly wave. “Hello my fine furry friends. What’s up?”

Emily stabs her chopsticks into the food and sets aside the container. “Cross check police reports on our victims.”

“Anything specific we’re looking … Oh…” Her voice drops solemnly. “Am I looking for something extremely bad like rape charges? Cuz, I’m finding that both of them have that in common. As in they both were charged for the same incident.”

“They were convicted?” you ask in bewilderment since nothing came up on their background checks.

“Uh, no. Both of them had the charges dropped. Oh, get this. Alcohol was involved and it was indeterminate if consent was obtained or not and the poor darlings took some time before they reported the assault. Both men lawyered up really good, which is not surprising for a paralegal and a psychiatrist. One being able to use connections and the other having the money. They just up and ran with the lack of physical evidence even though hair samples on the victims detected our unsubs drug of choice. There was no way to prove these jerk faces did it.”

“Who pressed charges?” Rossi asks.

“Uh, Desiree Villanueva and Lauren Conway. Couple of friends trying to have a nice girls’ night when … ah damn. There was a third man involved. A Robert MacDonald - some banker at Wells Fargo.”

“Lovely. Little rich boys club wanted to play and wouldn’t take no for an answer,” states Rossi with disgust.

“Are either victim on our plastic surgeons list?” Prentiss questions next.

“Nope. Waitress and jeweler.”

“But we’re on to something with the unsub being a woman. How many are those plastic surgeons are female?” you request of Garcia.

“Little over four hundred.”

“Any of them show up on McGarth’s dating apps?”

“Ah … yes! Dr. Sandra Duncan! Has a practice in La Quinta.” Garcia brings up her driver’s and medical license. She had short brown hair with wavy bangs and piercing blue eyes. She was caught in mid-smile.

“That’s in our geo profile,” you confirm.

“Has she been a victim of sexual assault?” presses Emily.

“Unfortunately. She accused a Benjamin Riley of drugging her at a bar called The Treehouse in 2015. They were students together at Standford. Charges were dropped in a similar manner like our victims. After that, she went on to finish medical school, get married to an engineer named Drew Arnold. Oh no…” she whimpers while continuing “… her daughter, Charolette, died of leukemia six months ago. Then her jerk of a husband served divorce papers.”

You, Rossi and Prentiss share a knowing look and immediately leave dinner where it is and grab your coats.

“Two triggers in such a short time is more than enough to make someone lose control,” you state. “The family she had to ground her is gone, so she’s turn vigilante. Helping those women when no one helped her.”

Prentiss nods. “And she’s taking off their faces, their masks as you said, to show them for the rapists they are. She’s angry they got away with it and regressed back to when this happened to her.”

“And being a physician, she has access to drugs like midazolam,” says Rossi as you all walk out of Prentiss’ hotel room, already on the phone with the sheriff station to get the location of Arnold’s personal residence and place of business. “We’ll need a unit on Robert MacDonald, DOB 2/23/97, out of Palm Springs. Our unsub’s going for him next if she doesn’t have him already,” he explains to dispatch.

“Any chance she’s gone abroad?” questions Prentiss as you all head outside to the parking lot where the two SUVs waited. Garcia was now talking over speaker phone.

“Why yes she did. Two months ago, in fact. Visited a cousin in Ipswich, just outside of Brisbane. Happened after the divorce.”

Prentiss stops in front of the vehicles. “Garcia, work with local law enforcement to get us warrants ASAP on Duncan’s home and work. Does she have a business partner?”

“She does not. All solo.”

“Good. We don’t have to wake anyone else and waste more time. Once those warrants are in have SWAT meet us at both locations. Rossi?” Prentiss calls out to get his attention. He places the phone against his chest, giving her his full attention. “You take Duncan’s home. We got the clinic. No moving inside without the warrants unless there’s signs of a victim. Clear?”

“Crystal. I’ve got Grosch on the line who’s grumpy about things moving so fast …”

“Fucker’s always grumpy unless he’s calling the shots or up our asses,” you mutter while leaning against the front of the car.

Rossi chuckles. “Yes, but he’s waking the judge to get everything legal. Units will meet us there and set up a perimeter. They’ve got a squad car heading to MacDonald’s right now.”

Prentiss nods. “Let’s roll.”

“Be safe my loves!” Garcia says and hangs up.

Without warning, Prentiss tosses you the car keys and you deftly catch them in surprise. “You’re letting me drive?”

“Why not?” she says, opening the passenger door. “Or is driving twenty miles too hard for the maniac driver of the CIA?”

You grin ear to ear. “No, Ma’am.”

A Toyota SUV with no headlights on makes its way down the driveway of a multibuilding business center. It slows and makes a right and then swings around to back up into the driveway for deliveries at the one-story single building at the far end of the complex.

The garage opens and the SUV disappears inside. Only until the garage door closed, did the driver side open. Dr. Sandra Arnold was dressed in nice blue jeans, black boots, and an off the shoulder floral blouse. Hair and make-up were pristine, complementing her features for the faux date. She made her way to the patient cart that was already set up with sheets and pushed it over to the side of the trunk. With a quick wave of her foot under the car, the trunk slowly opened revealing an unconscious Robert MacDonald.

She brought the cart around, locked it in place, and then slid Robert onto it by the sheet he was laying over. After a few adjustments of scooting him around, she pulls up the slide rails, hovering over his face with blue eyes filled with malicious intent.

Her black gloved hand gently strokes down a chiseled cheek, then chin, and repeats the gesture back up the other side. Fingers play with brown strands of short hair. She roughly combed her fingers through it and looks at his face objectively, pulling it side to side to finish making the mental notes required to mark her incisions.

She pulls back, nostrils flaring as her eyes closed. Hands ball into shaking fists as she breathes through the rage building inside her, stopping herself from injuring this bastard. She had plans and could not ruin them with a violent outburst. Her heart now races with anticipation knowing that the victims that could not find justice just like her would have the peace they deserved. The peace that was denied them with a broken system easily manipulated by rich men who didn’t want their careers ruined.

Can’t have a career if you’re dead. Can’t hurt another woman if you’re dead, too.

“And how many more women did you rape since then, huh?!” she hisses with clenched teeth as she unlocks the cart and roughly pushes him into the next room.

Captain Robles met you and Prentiss outside La Quinta Cosmetic Surgery with a warrant in hand close to sixty minutes later. In that time, you and Prentiss were vested up as SWAT had set up a perimeter around the stucco and modern style office building. It was closed to 1am and there was little public to redirect since this area was all businesses. The building itself was dark with no vehicles in the parking lot or immediate surroundings. Chances of Arnold and or MacDonald here was slim after the first walk through around the building, but you all had to move fast to be sure.

Chattering over the radio indicated Rossi and Sheriff Grosch were about to enter Arnold’s residence after no response to announcing FBI presence.

Now it was your turn.

Prentiss had already ordered Robles and his officers to set up positions by all exits of the building. You, Prentiss and the SWAT team were going to coordinate entrance on the section chief’s orders. You and Prentiss had your guns at the ready, pointed at the ground, as you flanked the doorway together.

You lock eyes with Prentiss who gives the go ahead and you speak into the radio that Robles provided both of you. “Ready in five … four …”

You go silent as all units would finish the count down and on one, a SWAT officer came swinging in with the two handed breaching tool to place right between the lock and jamb. With two soft slaps that sound like a piston, the door is breached and Prentiss heads in first, shoulder blocking the door fully open.

A cacophony of clears starts echoing in the empty rooms. You call some out yourself as you clear a utility closet and bathroom and work your way with Prentiss and SWAT down the hallway. You all fan out to cover the rest of the rooms. There were two offices and six examination rooms. All empty.

One of the officers comes up to Prentiss, assault rifle securely pointed to the floor. “Building’s secure. No one’s onsite, Ma’am.”

Holstering her Glock, she licks her lips in thought. “Spread out and search for anything connecting Arnold with the victims or where she’s at.”

You already wandered away from her to do just that and landed in the supply room to look around at all the basic medical equipment an office like this would have. All the sterile processing of surgical tools would be done somewhere else. You were about to turn around and leave when something caught your eye. A white strap dangling out of a floor cabinet. You lean forward to open it and feel a rush of memories.

“FUCK YOU!” you screamed, spitting at the male nurse’s aide’s face. Two of them were trying to grab your flailing limbs as you thrashed about on the bed. “I’M NOT GONNA GO!”

“Damn it!” the one orderly huffed, shaking his head along his shoulder to get his eyes clean of saliva.

It gave you the chance to kick him in the stomach when his grip loosened. But with the commotion you were causing, two more men came in to assist and grabbed ahold of you. You were outnumbered as they forced your hands and feet into the padded restraints.

Then there was the hated sharp sting into your thigh of forced medication …

You come out of the memory, not realizing you were already cradling the wrist restraint. With a hard swallow, you now know why those indentations seemed so familiar with the victims. You had them yourself at one point when some asshole tech tightened your restraints too hard. Of course, part of you still wondered if you deserved the rough treatment. That guilt that since you were a bad patient, you deserved the treatment you got. You were always physical and uncooperative with staff, and you didn’t give a shit who you hurt back then …

“Hey, Whitlock?” Prentiss’ voice forces you to look up and you curse the fact that you just know your cheeks are burning. There is no way she didn’t notice it, but she didn’t press. “Got something?” she asks instead.

“Uh, yeah.” You toss the restraint over to Prentiss and she catches it. “Pretty sure this is what Arnold’s using on her vics.”

She turns it over thoughtfully. “And we found midazolam in the med room. Arnold’s home’s empty but Rossi did find untouched ampules of flunitrazepam.”

You free the phone from your belt and call Garcia. “The princess is in another castle. We’re 0 for 2 here.”

Prentiss looks up at you but was unable to catch your gaze. You were focused on the call with Garcia. She did have some reservations with how you reacted to the restraint she was now holding and wondered if it would affect your ability to remain in the field.

“Let’s see what my crystal ball can tells us. Ah! Arnold did set up shop at a different office before the one you’re currently standing in. About eight months ago she moved from there before her whole world unraveled. Former office locale is currently vacant and just like that, you have messages with the address.”

You take a peek at your texts before responding. “Thanks, Garcia. We’ll keep in touch.”

“You better, missy!” You wince, hearing the commanding tone of wholesome concern. “Queen Penelope out.”

You start moving out of the room while pulling up directions to the office. “We’re six minutes away.”

You were focused and the section chief would keep her concern to herself and stay close to you as this unfolds. Prentiss’ voice carries loud and clear throughout the hallway as she leads the way. “Alright everyone, we’re moving out!”

Fully gowned with hair tied back under a blue surgical cap and face covered by a mask, Arnold adjusts her goggles as she leans forward to inspect her work one last time. MacDonald’s face was centered inside the hole of the surgical drape to where the markings were clearly visible. His neck and upper torso were covered as well with wrists and ankles secured to the cart by restraints.

With a practiced hand, she reaches for the instrument tray to pull closer. She slides a finger down the length of the scalpel handle before picking it up. Despite her malevolent intentions, her grip was gentle as she tilted his head to secure him for the first incision.

But she was interrupted by the double doors to the exam room being kicked open. Her eyes widened in terror as officers start shouting orders.

“FBI!!!” Prentiss yells, gun lined up for a shot as two SWAT follow suit to cut off Arnold’s escape routes.

“FREEZE!!!”

“LOWER YOUR WEAPON!!!”

You watch Arnold pull the scalpel closure to MacDonald’s neck, securing his head in a headlock. “Get away! Get the fuck away!!!”

All four of you had a clean shot to take Arnold, but there was a chance she could still do irreparable harm with how close the blade was to MacDonald’s neck.

“Sandra, you need to put the scalpel down,” Prentiss says firmly.

“Like hell I do!” she shouts back. “He fucking deserves this! They all fucking deserve this!”

“It’s bullshit the justice system failed you. Failed Desiree and Lauren. But this won’t take the pain away of what happened to you. To them,” Prentiss implores.

“No … but at least there’s some justice,” she hisses, the blade digging in just enough to draw a bead of blood on his neck.

“But is it really? Justice?” you ask as you lower your gun. Prentiss quickly looks at you and wonders what the hell you’re doing.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” she bites back, puffing her chest out arrogantly. “With him gone, that makes three less rapists in the world.”

“Alright. Let me ask it like this.” You hold your hand up as you put your gun away. Arnold remained engaged. “Does it feel like justice to you?”

She blinks her eyes several times and looks around the room, passing over Prentiss and the officers without focus. Your question stumps her. You can see how she is struggling to reconcile what justice means to her. You could even see the face mask crinkling as she was trying to find her words.

You nod with understanding, your eyes betraying the same conflict that Arnold has in trying to reconcile the feelings of violation and anger right now. You fight the shiver that threatens to run down your spine, needing to stand firm as the two of you share the same haunted look that does not go unnoticed by Prentiss.

“It’s doesn’t. It never will, Sandra. Even if you were able to find the one that hurt you, that you do this to him and declare justice in victory, through their death,” you slowly motion with your hand to the guy on the cart, “you’re trying to find peace.” You lick your lips as your throat tightens, regaining the control you need to get through to Sandra. “But there’s no peace.” You shrug tearfully. “It never comes. It never will. You just … have to find a way to live for yourself. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. You just have to find the strength to survive.”

You watch as Sandra’s throat bobs up and down several times as you all wait to see how this will go. Will she surrender or cause someone to pull their trigger and end this stalemate.

But then you hear her sniff as she blinks back tears. “You know.”

A statement that you affirm with a nod. “I do.”

She fights back a sob. “I was really trying to help them …”

Your watery eyes soften as you sadly smile. “I know.”

And it was in that moment that Arnold made her decision to step back, letting the scalpel fall to the floor with a loud clang. SWAT immediately went in to put cuffs on her and read her rights as you vaguely were aware of Prentiss calling in for a medic. Right now you are focused on watching Arnold being escorted away. The two of you kept eye contact, her watching you over her shoulder until more officers came running in to obscure the view.

“Hey…” Prentiss voice was like a loud boom that went off by your ear. The anxiety of forcing yourself to come back from such raw memories heightened everything around you.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah.” You look passed Prentiss as a group of officers’ start assessing MacDonald.

She places a hand on your shoulder and since you didn’t flinch, she squeezes. “You did good getting her to surrender.”

There was a lot to unpack with what happened here. The enigma that you are just grew with what Prentiss learned tonight. It already started with the faraway look you had holding the restraints back at Arnold’s office. This unsettling revelation amplified so many questions that Prentiss wanted to know about you.

“Thanks,” you say, offering a forced half smile at her. “Better than her getting shot, right?”

She drops her hand and nods. “Yeah. She’ll get the help she needs.”

At that you laugh shakily. “Remains to be seen, but yeah. Hope so.” You felt conflicted about knowing that MacDonald was going to live because you understood where Arnold was coming from. There was a reason you didn’t share with Sandra that you personally rid yourself of your abuser. You would have lost the connection of trust built on shared trauma.

Prentiss watches you shambling off, unsettled with how your eyes had lost its luster. Seeing you sullen and devoid of your usual concealing humor was concerning.

Prentiss catches up with you after giving out last minute directives to secure the area until forensics arrive. Emergency lights flash brightly as officers were carrying out orders. Robles was here delegating tasks to where his people would contain the crime scene in and outside the building. You heard MacDonald moaning as the paramedics guided the gurney passed you to the ambulance. Whatever they had given him started to get the guy into some conscious awareness.

Rossi was waiting outside waiting for the two of you with a satisfied smile. “Sorry I’m late, but clearly you didn’t need me.”

You had stopped off to the side of Prentiss with hands tucked into your vest, your attention on watching Arnold being put into the backseat of a squad car.

“Whitlock talked Arnold down.” Prentiss explains with a small nod your way.

“How ‘bout that.” His smile grows and fights to catch your eyes. He raises a brow in question if he should push things, but Prentiss lightly shakes her head no. Getting the hint, he shifts gears. “Should we pull an all-nighter to tie things up on our end?”

“Might as well. I’d like to get the hell outta here. How about you?” She looks at you still staring off. “Whitlock?”

You didn’t acknowledge her, and Prentiss calls out your first name. That jars your attention as this was the first time you heard her say it. “Yeah?”

Rossi smiles patiently. He knew Whitlock was a seasoned officer but everyone’s first case with the BAU had a track record of rattling an agent. “We’re going to the station to get things squared away so we can hand it off to local PD. Sound good?”

You nod firmly with a tight smile. “Definitely.”

“It’s unfortunate this case’s a bust regarding Sicarius.”

“True. Maybe JJ and the others fared better.” Prentiss nods in agreement as both her and Rossi watch you wander off to the SUV.

“What happened in there that spooked her?” Rossi asks, moving closer to speak with Prentiss.

It didn’t feel right to explain it so candidly what you had gone through. It was best that Rossi read what the official reports said that you and she would write up. Anything more just invites a difficult conversation that she knew you wouldn’t be ready for. There was a burgeoning trust that had sparked between the two of you over drinks and she didn’t want to fuck that up.

“I think she just needs some time.” She watches you climb into the driver’s seat. “Like we all do when shit happens.”

You were sitting alone on one of the four seaters close to the window as the pilot confirmed you were at a safe altitude to move around the cabin. Rossi was passed out on the couch and Prentiss had just gotten up to head to the back of the plane.

You barely noticed, too focused on the music playing in your earbuds as you debated how to answer the text from Brian.

Dad sent 0330: How are things going?

You got that at the station over an hour ago and made a note to answer once the BAU wrapped things up. You were grateful that Prentiss and Rossi took the lead on what was needed to secure the case and that their official reports would be completed midweek. You tried to make mental notes on these protocols but your mind was elsewhere. Once you all signed off on what was required onsite, you drove the team back to the hotel to pack up and then it was off to the airstrip. An officer met you there to take the loaned vehicle.

You barely said a word except what was necessary. You hardly smiled. There were no quips, and you offered non-committal, I’m fines, when the two of them asked how you were. Prentiss was already piecing things further silently and was concerned. There was no way that a crime like this rattled you like Rossi had presumed. She knew you had seen far worse, and she can imagine in great detail what those situations were, having lived through many herself. You just hadn’t anticipated old wounds being ripped open with memories of darker times in your life to surface that made you feel like that lost tween Brian had recruited.

A soft thunk on the table startles you and you see Prentiss taking a seat across from you. There were two tumblers of whiskey before the both of you.

You stop the music with a furrowed brow in silent question. Prentiss explains gently. “Rough day. Thought you could use one.”

“Uh, yeah.” You take the glass to swirl the liquid around. “Though, isn’t it a bit early to drink?”

She shrugs. “Not in our line of work.”

You bring the glass up to your lips with a cleansing breath and figured, why not? You note the smell of whiskey and … “Did you just make me a Jack and Diet Coke?”

Prentiss’ head tilts slightly to the side, pleased you noticed. “I did.”

You raise your glass and give her your first genuine smile since talking Arnold down. “Thanks. Really.”

You both take a well-deserved drink and close your eyes at the warm burn that moves down your throat before radiating towards the rest of your body. You didn’t immediately relax, but the thoughtful gesture helps to provide focus. Enough so you found the strength to really look at Prentiss. You’ve seen enough as her brown eyes narrow in concentration, working on how to broach the unspoken but known.

You quickly lick your lips and set down the glass in a rush. “Don’t.”

Prentiss cautiously questions your reaction. “Don’t what?”

“Look at me like that. With pity.” You curl a hand into a fist to stop it from visibly shaking, but you watch in dismay that Prentiss already spots it.

She remains resolute in maintaining a steady eye contact once she has yours and emits a level of comfort and understanding. “It’s not pity. It’s understanding …”

Your felt your stomach sink, your chest tighten as a breath of surprise escapes without permission. You attempt to recover by clearing your throat and ask with hesitation. “Um. Really?”

That was a such a fucking dumb response to a monumental admission. Prentiss took the need for affirmation in stride. “Really.”

You pinch your brows and swallow hard, your lips trembling ever so slightly. “Well …that really fucking sucks.”

Prentiss chuckles bitterly. “Ain’t that the truth.” She opens a compartment under the table and pulls out a deck of cards. Tapping the case on the table, skilled fingers open the lid to remove the cards and starts shuffling. The methodical way she splits the deck and layers it back together with a rippling noise was comforting to you. “Did you wanna talk about it?”

You shrug still watching slender fingers be in complete control of the cards. “Do you really need to ask?”

“Well, it’s usually polite.” Her face scrunches up coyly.

You half snort and appreciate what she’s attempting to do. You finally look up at her. “What’re we playing?”

“Anything you want. Gin, poker, cribbage…?”

“Well, Rossi’s sleeping.” You sit up just enough to confirm he still was and sit back down. You thoughtfully rub your cheek as Prentiss finishes shuffling. Her compassion had truly touched you and even though your emotions were not fully boxed up as tightly you liked, you decided to say fuck it and have some fun. You waggle your brows, showing Prentiss you were feeling a little better. “There’s always strip poker.”

Prentiss cackles and you shush her, waving your hand to lower her voice. She starts dealing for a five-card draw. “There’s the Whitlock I know.”

You take each card that comes your way to sort them in your hand after rolling your eyes. “Figure you were missing her. I know you just love my antics.”

She wouldn’t admit it just yet, but she was. She fans the cards in her hand and studies them. “Possibly.”

You fall into companionable silence taking turns picking up cards, sipping your drinks, and showing your hands. You play several rounds and the two of you end up being even for wins and losses.

It was your turn to shuffle and you off-handedly ask a question that’s been on your mind. “Did they get the guy that hurt you?”

The two of you gaze intently as she slides her cards over. “Yes.”

You set the deck between you and reach for your glass. “Is he dead?”

The answer is immediate. “Yes.”

You take a healthy swallow as you debate on asking your next question. You slide your tongue along the front and back of your top teeth and find the courage to ask. “Did you kill him?”

She shakes her head no. “Someone else pulled the trigger.”

You lean back, shoulders slumping forward as the small similarities that could exist between two survivors ends. You fiddle with the cards, forcing them to ripple against the table as Prentiss waits you out calmly.

“I pulled the trigger,” you confess quietly. “I didn’t have to do it. But I wanted to. So … I did.”

 With no response from Prentiss, you dare to look up but see no judgement, just an attentive listener that sought whatever you wanted to reveal.

 “It’s partially why I was recruited.” That admission caught both of you by surprise and you try to backpedal. “I … fuck. I shouldn’t have said that.” You roughly sit up and lean over the table to get your cards in order. You’re such a fucking idiot!

“Hey, it’s alright,” she says gently. “I won’t say anything.” She could tell you weren’t convinced by how your eyes darkened with fear. She reaches out to lightly touch your arm and was glad you didn’t pull away. The warmth of her fingers soothed the fast-paced beating of your heart for fucking up again. Though this one was far worse than letting slip up about the AWOL matter. You really should have cut Rebecca off when she mentioned it and not join in the frivolity.

She takes a chance and squeezes your arm. “Promise. It’s like you keeping the sleepovers in my office a secret.”

Prentiss’ cheeky remark made you smile. Then you chuckle. “Okay, to be fair? You sleeping on your office couch isn’t a national secret.”

“Work with me here, Whitlock.”

“I am!”

You both share a smile and when Prentiss starts to pull away, you place your cards face up so you can cover her hand. She found it impossible to hide the astonishment at your gesture. “Thanks, Emily.”

She pauses for the right words to say, further touched by using her first name. She softly says yours and simply adds. “You’re welcome.” Then brown eyes look to the hand you gave up and tsks at you.

You’re confused. Did you do something wrong? “What?”

“Honey, you gave up a pair of aces.” She gestures to the cards as you both finally untangle your hands.

“Well, fuck me, I did.” You chuckle and pull out your phone after sliding the cards to Prentiss. “Here, get us started. Just gotta check in with Brian.” You point an accusing finger at the section chief. “And you especially can’t tell him anything about this conversation.”

She scrunches her face playfully. “What conversation?”

You grin brightly. “Exactly.” And then finally type up a simple response to Brian.

Whitlock sent 0527: Going very well.

Chapter 9

@unkonw00 @ara-a-bird @rayisaknight @sevyscoven @maybe-a-humanbean

[duxfemina]

Hey i really loved your replies to previous asks. Can you please rank the ancient romans from best to worst for enemies to lover trope:

Catiline, cicero, Julius, Pompeii, crassus , brutus, agrippa, octavian, sulla and Marius.

This is tricky because I'm not as up on some of the beef or maybe you meant these individually rather than paired with their neighbors in the list. So I'll go with individually rating how susceptible they would be to the trope

Catiline - yeah he was DTF anything so yeah I could see him developing homoerotic passions for Cicero had he survived

Cicero - no he just does the reverse. It's only lovers to enemies for MT Chickpea because he's a petty peapod

Julius Caesar - he probably fucked some Gauls let's be real. He absolutely is susceptible to the trope and would find himself involved in it several times throughout his life

Pompeius Magnus - yes, absolutely, the man was so magnanimous with the people he defeated he absolutely probably caught the feelings for one or two of them. Of course paragon of conjugal virtue that he was, he didn't sleep with anyone besides his wife when he was married so it might just be a lot of pining and eye fucking but there's probably a couple princesses of peoples he beat who he had the hots for and of course they'd reciprocate, he's the new Alexander after all

Crassus - on the one hand he has about as much romance and yearning to him as a wax tablet on the other he DID team up with his most loathed rival Pompeius so who knows maybe under that cold exterior he was secretly dreaming of running his hands through the much lauded quaff of Pompeius Magnus

Brutus - all of Pompeius' enemies eventually end up in bed with him... politically that is. If Brutus can get past Pompeius whacking his dad I feel he could get past whatever made him enemies with someone in order to make way for growing feelings for them

Agrippa - his enemies don't live long enough to become lovers usually. But if anyone was gonna be his war torn paramour I'd put bets on Sextus. There's just something a little homoerotic about their naval rivalry.

Octavian - I mean he did marry someone he had previously exiled so yes he's susceptible to the trope. If nothing else he likes using sex to exert dominance on people (hence his sleeping with the wives of his rivals) so yeah whether directly or by proxy Octavian is definitely fucking his enemies. Don't think he loves any of them (maybe not even Livia, he respected her and she filled the image he needed) but they're certainly lovers in the coarsest sense

Sulla - like Cicero this only goes one way and it's lovers to enemies. He fucks and then quite likely ends up hating.

Marius - there is no strategy to his love life so like it might happen but not as likely because he's pretty straightforward and to the point and isn't about any kind of pining or long game. The first impression is what he's going with

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Jade Leech Beans Camo Personal Story: Part 1

"This should be of some help"

Part 1 (Part 2)

[Beside Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Jade: Oh no, I seem to have become separated from Cater-san, [Yuu]-san, and Grim-kun.

Jade: I would not have anticipated that our meeting location would be overrun by those on the Monster team in the short while we needed to split up…

Jade: Well, I suppose it should have been expected, so there is nothing to do about it.

Jade: If I feel as such, I do have the means of reuniting with them, anyway. I suppose I'll continue on my own for a little while longer.

Jade: In any case, it was in my favor that I ended up separated from my team.

Jade: I was able to acquire the "loot"… the "icicle mushroom" without any issues.

Jade: I shall bring this mushroom to where "Smith"-san is. Fufufufufu…

[Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Sam: ＨＥＹ! Welcome, Little Imp.

Jade: Hello, Sam-san.

Sam: Anything you may want is ＩＮ　ＳＴＯＣＫ　ＮＯＷ! What would you like?

Jade: "You're completely ＯＵＴ　ＯＦ　ＳＴＯＣＫ of exactly what I would like!"

Sam: Oho!? "That's not possible."

Jade: "But I can't find it at all."

Sam/Jade: "Today's the very best Happy Beans Day!"

Sam: ＯＫ! You got the password perfectly. You're here for "Smith," then.

Sam: Alright, Little Imp, come stand by the wall behind the counter. ―Open, secret door!!

[secret door slides open]

Sam: Smith-kun, come on out. You're being requested!

???: Eeek…!!!!

Jade: It's Jade from Octavinelle. Smith-san… Or rather, Idia-san. May we chat a moment?

Idia: Y-You know that I'm Smith…?

Jade: Indeed. Thanks to a source of mine.

Jade: As well as the fact that you have available your own bean shooter creations at this school shop year after year.

Jade: Isn't that right, Sam-san?

Sam: That's right. In return for providing a hiding spot for Idia-kun in this shop, that is!

Idia: I have absolutely no interest in an event more meat-headed than a magical shift tournament where the whole student body runs around campus.

Idia: I-I'm happy to just wait here until they call game end.

Jade: Fufu… And nowhere is it established that one cannot craft their own bean shooters…

Jade: It is a masterful way of playing the game, by skirting the rules. I must also try to learn from your wiles.

Jade: Incidentally, what kind of performance should I expect from the item that you've crated, Smith-san?

Idia: U-Uhh… Th-This year's new item is the Bean Shooter L.

Idia: It boasts an overwhelmingly effective shot distance, and can pinpoint a target with a bean from 1 kilometer away.

Idia: I used light-weight material for it, so it makes it easier to carry around. And above all, it really looks like a peapod.

Idia: …Or, uh, something like that…

Jade: As expected of a "Master Smith", creating a long-range bean shooter like this…

Jade: This is exactly the functionality I was searching for.

Sam: However, this amazing item cannot be bought with money, you understand…

Jade: Quite right, I am aware. An exchange of goods… Or more specifically, an exchange of an unusual item that would draw Sam-san's interest, yes?

Sam: Ｅｘａｃｔｌｙ! If you already know, then this'll go much faster. Let us approach the negotiating table.

Sam: Now, Little Imp! What will you offer me?

Jade: Please... Take a look at this.

Sam: !!

Idia: Wh-what's with this transparent and slick looking mushroom…?

Sam: That transparency, those icicles that hang from the gills that resemble fierce fangs… This cannot be anything other than an "icicle mushroom"!

Sam: It's a rare mycelium that only grows in places with a strong magical environment, at least at 3,000 meters above sea level!

Idia: W-Woah… A rare item that can even shock and amazing Sam-san. Jade-shi is playing for keeps.

Sam: Little Imp, where did you get this?

Jade: I borrowed a small corner of the Botanical Garden, and I painstakingly grew it.

Jade: This mushroom is "out of stock" in your shop, is it not, Sam-san?

Jade: Would this allow me to receive the Bean Shooter L…?

Sam: Ｏｆ　ｃｏｕｒｓｅ! I'll gladly honor this exchange of goods.

Jade: Wonderful. With this, I should be of some help to the Farmer Team.

[footsteps approaching]

Jade: Hm? Is that footsteps I hear from outside the shop?

Idia: Aughgugh! Someone's coming towards my hiding spot again…!

Jade: Those hurried steps… I've definitely heard those before.

Jade: Our guests seem to be part of the Monster Team. And a troublesome one, at that… I must hide myself away somewhere.

Idia: M-M-Me too…!

Jade: Where would I be least likely to be found…?

Jade: Sam-san, may I borrow the space here?

Sam: ! Sure, but are you going to be alright in a place like that?

Jade: Yes, someone like me would be perfectly alright.

Sam: Ｈｍｍ… You're a smart Little Imp. ＯＫ, go ahead and use it.

Sam: And I'll head to the back of the shop and bring the Bean Shooter out.

Jade: Fufufu. I'm sure I should be able to evade them by hiding in here. Now, it is a tad tight in here, but I'll have to close the door, and…

[door creaks and closes]

[footsteps; shop door slams open]

Azul: Come on out, Jade! I know you are in here!

Part 1 (Part 2)

Requested by @bindzahato.

[pass1onepr1ncess]

"Peapods ( @peapodsinspace ) is on Team Stardust! We gotta get em!" - Me

"We gotta!!!" - @xxbattiepupxx

(All /lh ofc lol we're very excited for ArtFight :) )

[goodmorningdove]

those are awesome pokemon!!! you have really good taste! i haven’t played pokemon recently but i love sylveon and even have a lil sylveon plush :)) i also love shiny umbreon as well. mimikyu is awesome and i love them. i really love corviknight and shiny corviknight they look so cool. i also really like chandelure‘s design its really pretty. i like how torterra has a tree on its back its cool hahah :)) i think ditto is a funny lil guy and i love ditto

omg you have a sylveon plush!!! Aaaaa!!!

Chandelure was a mainstay on my sword team i called her Leuchter :P

also i cant believe i forgot to mention my love of shiny azumarill! Azurill was my first shiny, i got it through a wondertrade and it was probably hack but i named it peapod bcz it looked like two peas but when it became an azumarill it looked more like an egg. When i found a shiny marill in scarlet i had to name it eggpod!! (shout out to seapod, my regular azumarill mainstay in shining pearl)

i love pokemon so much

[chai-sweets]

I’m assembling my DLC team!! starting with this beautiful peapod of a pokémon, Lurantis.

She’ll be level 70-75 along with the rest of the team. She’ll be fighting tera and learn poison jab, leaf blade, leech life, and superpower for now.

[ir0n-angel]

💝☆ put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity!! ☆💝 ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡ 🐝💕

Thank you!! 🌼 *bonk bonk*

[crackinglamb]

Happy Galentine’s! *bonk bonk* 😘

😘😘😘

[semothekat]

sayu also has some of the travelers powers… just a little bit ok. If i end up thinking about this enough i could find another way for the story to go and maybe that wont be necessary

ambers not a knight in this au, the outriders were an adventure team that fell apart after amber grandfather left so technically shes a solo adventurer but dont ever say that to her face

Amber finds sayu sleeping on the beach pmd style and shes like hey maybe dont do that youll get kidnapped or something

while taking her to mondstadt they run into venti who’s trying cure dvalin. And they scare him and he flies away. They also get one of his tears because What Is That Thing.

She takes her to mondstadt and woaw dvalin. is attacking.

when theyre looking for shelter sayu being hte little peapod she is gets swept up somehow in the wind

Au where istead of the traveler and paimon its amber and sayu.

[gegewrites]

Fezco- Peek-a-boo p2

(smut)

i dont know why you guys wanted a P2 but here it is 

Not edited

Published 3/13/22

Fezcos pov-

“What the fuck just happened?” (y/n) asked as I reversed out of the driveway. Rue didn’t get here fast enough so she ain’t getting a ride back.

“Dudes been giving us shit for awhile.” Ash answered.

“Fuckin with rue and Jules, called the cops on us…man deserves it.” I looked at her in the rear view mirror, she looked as good as she did when I saw her at Laurie’s. She looked at me like a deer in headlights,”you good?”

“Ya I’m fine.” She smiled,”I’ve seen worse, you met my dad.”

“Fuck yo dad.” Ash said, turning to look at her.

“He’s a peice of shit, I know.” Ash turned back in his seat.

“Imma fu-“

“You ain’t killin nobody righ’ now.” I hit his shoulder lightly.

“This peapod is the one who killed mouse?” Her tone was shocked and also impressed.

“A hammer.”

“Shiit kid, takin one for the team huh?” She laughed

“..now am I takin you home or…”

“I live in LA, you ain’t driving there.”

“So my place?”

“Sure.”

A month later-

Your pov-

I was once again at my parents place. I really only wanted to see snowball again. I ran my finger up his beak and over his crown, down his back and then tapped his toes.

“So.” My mother said as she placed her cup of tea onto the table,”how’s life been treating you?”

“Good, good.” I nodded,”got a…boyfriend.”

“Oh?” She took a sip of her tea,”tell me…is it Fezco?”

“If I said it was how would you react?”

“Seems decent, haven’t talked to him much.”

“He’s nice.” I smiled as snowball turned around and bobbed his head.

“Peek-a-boo!” He raised his wings and turned around as he bobbed his head before coving it with his wings and then popping out once more ”peek-a-boo!”

“I can see you.” I scratched the top of his head and my phone dinged. I leaned and picked it off of the table.

---

Fezco💚: you in town?

Me: @ my parents y

Fezco💚: meet at the store?

Me: can I bring snowball?

Fezco💚: sure

Fezco💚: can use a mascot

Me: be there in 20

---

“Um, imma head out.” I looked at her.

“Your boyfriend?” She grabbed her cup.

“Ya, also can I bring snowball?” She nodded.

“Just take his cage.” She said as I put my hand next to him and he preached. I wasnt worried about him flying away, he never flew, never learned. So all he did was walk around and Bob his head.

Fezcos pov-

“Peek-a-boo!” I heard come from the door, I looked up from my phone and saw (y/n) and the bird.

“Yo.” I said as she walked over.

“Hey babe.” She placed a kiss on my lips.

“Boo!” I heard the click of his feet on the counter.

“So how’s your day going?” She leaned on the counter and waved to ash in the back.

“Slow, you?”

“Got some new customers in the city, and a new dealer, good prices for good shit.” I nodded.

“You don’t buy from ur mom?” I raised my brow and she shook her head.

“I’m not tellin her I’m still in the game.” She Kent her hand to snowball and he walked onto it,”she thinks I work at a coffee shop.”

“You do though.”

“Ya and it’s a launder business to hide the flow of cash from the guy k buy from.”

“You in some mob typa shit, aight, I see you.” I chuckled and she laughed, she raised her hand to snow and he got on it and started singing a tune, no words just sounds,”ain’t he gon like…fly away?”

“No, he never learned.” She shrugged her shoulders as he traveled up her arm using his beak to grab the fabric of her hoodie and climb and sit on her shoulder , and cuddle into her neck.

“I’m too stoned for this righ’ now.”

Your pov-

Another week past begore I saw him in person again, this time no bird. I realized how much of a cockblock he was and didn’t bring him along this time. Also if I wanted him I had to see my mother and father and that wasn’t happening. got into a fight with her about the shit she did to me when i was younger...jesus.

I walked up to the door, looking up at the security camera. I pressed the buzzer.

“Yo! It’s fucking Raining! let me in!” I laughed and I soon saw Fezco walking down the way.

“You right, it is raining.” Fezco opened the gate and o quickly wakes through it.

“No shit!” I laughed as he locked it. I turned to walk into the house before he grabbed my wrist.

“Nah. Come here.” He pulled me towards him and I wrapped my arms around him.

“Getting your movie moment kiss?” I giggled.

“Shut up.“ he chuckled and leaned down a bit and Placed his lips onto mine. Made me forget about the rain soaking my clothes my arms draped around his neck, his beard tickled my face lightly and his lips moved him mine. One of his hands sat on my waist and the other on my cheek. I loved the way he kissed me. Was always so sweet and passionate, he made me feel…great.

“It’s rainiing.” I heard a girl slur. The voice was familiar.

“Faye,go inside aight? You gon get cold in that.” I looked back at her, she was in a cropped tank top and some short shorts and a pair of sneakers.

“(yyy-n)?” She asked her brows furrowing.

“Hey Faye.” I smiled. My mom did business with mouse which meant Custer hung around with him, Sometimes he brought Faye so we’re decently acquainted, i had to get her from custer once, he was in LA, needed help, so she stayed with me for a few days..shes actually really nice, “we are drenched, let’s go inside.”

fezcos pov-

i closed the door behind (y/n) and  i locked it as she kicked her shoes off.

“you can wear some on my clothes.”

“i have a bag in my car, rain supposed to stop in the next hour.”she said as she walked towards the kitchen and living area.

“Aight:”

“you two are soaked.” ash pointed out once we got to the living room.

“shit really? oh god i didnt even know.” (y/n) laughed and looked back at me,”your rooms the first door right?”

“Ya, that towel folded on my bed is clean too.” i watched her walk down the few steps and into my room, closing the door.

“whys she here?” faye asked, i looked to my right and she was leaning on the couch.

“whats thats spose’ to mean?” i raised my brow.

“not like thaat, fezco. like...you two dating?” she cocked her head.

“ya we are.” i walked into the living area and ploped down onto the couch by the window.

“i stayed with her once..custer threw me in her care cause of his dumb shit.” she walked around and sat on the opposite end of ash.

“you know her?” ash asked.

“ya, custers been working with laurie for a few before mouse wanted in...” i nodded as i leaned foward and grabbed the joint fromj the ashtray i was smoking before (y/n) got here.

“aight..” i nodded as i lit it up, i heard my door open and (y/n) walk into my veiw.

“im keeping these.” she was in one of my white tshirts and a pair of black calvin klein boxers i owned. she looked cute...hot.

“shit, please do.” i felt a smirk crawl onto my lips that i couldnt push away. she sat down next to me on the couch.

“so what shit did custer get into this time babes?” 

“i pushed the hotels manger off of balcony and now im hiding from the cops.” i passed the blunt to (y/n) as faye spoke.

“are you- are you serious?” she took a hit deeply exhaling it/

“mhm.” she nodded.

“i fuckin love you.” she exhaled and laughed. i looked over at ash who carried and anoyed look on his face,”dont you dare  look at me like that.” (y/n) stood up and passed the joint to faye.

“you dont plan on livin here right?” he asked.

“ash.” i said.

“no..but i do plan on fuckin here though so...” he slowly just blinked at her,”sorry muffin.”

“did you just call me muffin?” he asked in utter shock which made me laugh, faye passed the joint to him,”dont fuckin laugh.”

“is he like a chihuahua.” (y/n) whispered into my ear.

“aight, you two cut the shit aight?” i stood up grabbing the joint from ash who was holding it out. Ash rolled his wyes and nodded.

“Alright alright.”(y/n) laughed,”I’m sorry for calling you a muffin…cupcake.”

“Imma fuck you up.” Ash threatened, I know he wasn’t serious.

“You met my dad. You really wanna do that?”

“She’s a badass, watch out.” I tapped the joined kk the ashtray.

“Thank you Faye.”

Your pov-

A few hours have past, we talked for a good hour before putting on a movie, we watched how high and then found showtime which had shameless re-runs on. I left half way through cause it was the season final of season 9, I had to take a “phone call” in Fezcos room and after a few he came into the room. So that explains why his head was in between my thighs.

“Holy fuck.” I whispered, trying not to be so loud so ash and Faye heard, this is the first time fez and I are fucking, well…for real this time. We had a quick round after the New Years party, showed me what his dick could do and to kill the adrenaline from beating the shir outta Nate…and now he’s showing me what his mouth could do. Fez’s hands were grabbing onto my waist, keeping me close to him. His beard tickling the insides of my thighs and lips, adding to the great sensation.

“So good~” he chuckled, the feeling of the vibration. My back arched off the bed pushing my pussy closer to her face.

“Oh god fez!” I covered my mouth with my hand as my other sat on his head, my nails attaching at his scalp,”fuck yesss.”

The pressure on my stomach started building, my thighs tightened around his head but he didn’t fight it. His hand trailed off of my waist, he pushed my thigh away and I felt his thumb circle my clit as his tongue circled and dipped into my core. I moaned from the feeling until I felt his fingers trail down my clit and onto my core, replacing his tongue. His fingers slipped into me, curling up and causing my back to arch as he started to slowly work them as his tongue danced on my clit.

“Fez I’m gon-na cum!” I whined.

“Come on Ma, cum fo’ me.” He kissed the inside of my thigh before going back to my clit. My heel dug into his back as I panted and mos Ed as my orgasm was building fast, starting to break. He knew, and bescheiden of that, he fingered my harder and sucked my clit harshly.

“Oh shit! Fuuuck fez!” I moaned, covering that moan and the others that left my lips were impossible as my orgasm crashed, spilling into his fingers and chin. He didn’t stop his movements, riding it out of his fingers with the help of his tongue.

My back finally got the comforter once again as my leg slipped off his shoulder and he stood up. My eyes were closed as I Mt chest rose and fell with the heavy pants leaving my lips.

“You really are amazing.” He chuckled and I laughed as I opened my eyes and looked at him, meeting his hazy eyes.

“Get the fuck over here.” I sat up and grabbed her arm pulling him into a kiss. This was gonna be a long night.

[ir0n-angel]

@crackinglamb​ Is this why you won’t let me have any of the pillows? 🤣

True friendship

[mudpuddless]

Q-Branch's Saturday night dish

aka. tofu & veggie noodles, because they make everything better, even nightshifts. (recipe under the cut)

Ingredients are (as the name suggests) highly variable and partially not even strictly necessary but if you want a simple simple dish you can always eat microwave lasagna, so:

noodles (instant ramen? rice noodles? leftover spaghetti? anything goes)

veggies (I used aubergine, zucchini and pea pods because thats what I had on hand. usually at the very bottom of a fridge there are at least some carrots, even in q-branch)

tofu (self explanatory. also not technically required but. ya know. just do it. q-branch typically has some on hand because it keeps for forever)

furthermore:

soysauce

sesame oil (no, its not necessary. its only a teaspoon. I'm not saying you need to add it but you absolutely need to add it)

cooking oil or butter

chili (powder? chopped and dried? fresh? or *gasp* none at all? doesn't matter. of you're cooking for the rest of the team you might want to leave that to personal preference but ya know.((if you want to join team villains, just dumb a whole bunch and dont tell anyone))

lemon juice (again not necessary but you should still absolutely put it, trust me)

garlic

onions

cream/ coconut milk (as per preference. you can always leave it out completely but it helps if you prefer milder dishes)

peanuts (just. peanuts. they can be salted or plain or leftover from some trail mix. again: check with the rest of the shift if anyone is allergic. putting peanuts in food for someone with a nut allergy won't even land you in team villains, even we aren't that bad)

sugar (or honey, if your boss happens to be the extravagant kind and keeps honey for tea around)

water (you always need water. if not for the dish because your noodles are already cooked and your veggies dont need to be steamed, you could always drink some. also take your meds.)

Then you need some kitchen appliances:

a pan, coated of possible because yes

a cutting board for this veggies you are adding because scurvy is not something someone from the 21st century should die from. also for the tofu.

a knife (NOOO) or two knives. or three if youre feeling fancy. the more the merrier and so on

a pot or kettle if you need to cook your noodles and depending on which noodles you're using.

maybe a measuring spoon, but you know. the rules were made to be broken.

NOW. COOKING *cries in teenager*

(these steps read like a choose your own adventure novel except there are no numbers because no. just follow the instructions)

#1 NOODLES:

-> if you have leftover spaghetti: good for you. onto the veggies.

-> if you are using instant ramen: prepare them like usual, except you don't add the seasoning and chilipowder and plant oil and whatever else, to make the worlds most disappointing bowl of ramen.

-> if you are using any kind of asian noodles: usually you can cook them pretty easily by playing them in a bowl and pouring boiling water on top. just let them steep and you're fine. (if they need to cooked, as in "in a pot" cooked (like spaghetti) , do that instead. if you have a choice between spaghetti and any kind of ramen, choose the ramen though)

#2 VEGGIES:

(just. pick whichever veggies youre using, again: these can grow cold so you could use left overs. just. consider what spices are already on them)

-> carrots: cut into thin slices (like wheels but more angled for fanciness points), roast in cooking oil with a pinch of sugar

-> zucchini: cut into 3 mm or 1/8 inch wheels, place in a bowl, cover with boiling water and a pinch of salt, till you like the consistency (usually 7-10 minutes), then drain

-> aubergine: steam with water and a pinch of salt until done, add more water as necessary, place aside when done

-> peapods: roast with a bit of oil and a pinch of salt, place aside when done

-> broccoli or cauliflower: split the little tree thingies into quarters along the vertical axis, roast with a bit of oil and a pinch of salt, place aside when done

-> peas or corn: if they're fresh, add them to a pan with a spoon full of water and roast in a bit of oil and a pinch of slat and sugar when they're almost done

-> any canned veggies (peas, corn, bamboo sprout slices etc): drain and put aside, canned veggies are all cooked in the canning proccess

!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER OF YOU NOODLES/ VEGGIES COOL DOWN OR GO COLD ENTIRELY, SO JUST MAKE THEM WHENEVER YOU HAVE TIME!!!

#3 TOFU

-> cut your block of tofu into cubes (circa one inch or 1.3 cm), place the cubes on a paper towel to get rid of excess water. in a pan heat a tablespoon of oil, a pinch of sugar, a pinch of salt and some chili flakes. add the tofu when the oil is hot and fry till golden brown.

!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER OF YOU NOODLES/ VEGGIES COOL DOWN OR GO COLD ENTIRELY, SO JUST MAKE THEM WHENEVER YOU HAVE TIME!!!

to finish off:

slice up some onions and roast in a bit of oil and a pinch of sugar and salt.

add crushed and diced garlic

add crushed or diced peanuts

add all your veggies and stir

add your noodles and stir

add any amount of soy sauce depending on the amount of food you're making. keep in mind the amount of salt you added to the individual veggies. (safe amounts are anything form one to four table spoons of soy sauce)

add one teaspoon of sugar

stir.

when you think you're done, keep stirring for another ten seconds.

taste: does it need more salt? sugar? soy sauce? this recipe is too vague on everything else for me to give precise measurements for the sauce, so taste test!!!

if you added too much salt, added too much chili or like coconut milk: add coconut milk

stir again

place in a bowl

sprinkle as much chili as you like on top

add (depending on your portion size and preference) half to a full teaspoon of sesame oil by drizzling it on top

stir and enjoy

use your newfound energy to take over the British government from the inside. join team villains :)