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Reblog to give prev a fucking break holy shit y’all

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im aware this is an insane thing to say but i fucking. love characters that are just cockroaches. and i dont mean like. gross i mean they just do not fucking die. they can survive anything. they will outlive EVERYONE because they just will not die no matter what be it because they have a reason or because they literally cannot stop surviving the odds i love it i love it

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the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

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Perfect linguistic/culinary co-evolution of Germanic and Turkic peoples in which one party has an ancient god named Donar, after whom they name their Thursday, and the other party creates Döner, the most delicious thing on the planet, which I can now buy for cheap every week. Because it's Dönerstag. Peace and love

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Sometimes I'll have a thought that I know multiple friends will enjoy but don't think enough people will enjoy to post, so I copy and paste the message to multiple people, leading to some of the funniest "recently messaged" screens

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Sometimes I'll have a thought that I know multiple friends will enjoy but don't think enough people will enjoy to post, so I copy and paste the message to multiple people, leading to some of the funniest "recently messaged" screens

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All the eggs a woman will ever carry form in her ovaries while she is a four-month-old fetus in the womb of her mother. This means our cellular life as an egg begins in the womb of our grandmother. Each of us spent five months in our grandmother’s womb, and she in turn formed in the womb of her grandmother. We vibrate to the rhythm of our mother’s blood before she herself is born, and this pulse is the thread of blood that runs all the way back through the grandmothers to the first mother.

- Layne Redmond, When the Drummers were Women. Artwork by Amy Swagman.

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The Hostage AU -

Where Galidraan happens essentially the same but in an au where Jaster Mereel never died, right.

So his son, right, is MIA and 300 mandos are dead due to Death Watch schemes, poor intelligence, and hasty judgemt by both the Jedi and the Senate who oversaw the assignment to the Jedi.

Jaster obviously wants some fucking recompense and while the Senate hems and haws the Jedi respond in good faith that they will of course put significant resources to finding and rescuing the missing/ enslaved Jango Fett and there are many other ways they would like to offer recompense to Mandalore, such as through ecological recovery research and agricultural support and any resources they can spare for the families of the slain mandalorians - such as EduCorps access and AgriCorps rations, etc, etc.

And Jaster is like, okay, not bad, it's something but I'm still pissed and I don't trust you so I want a garuantee that the jedi aren't going yo fuck my people over again - I'll take a hostage. As a gesture of good faith.

And the jedi deliberate this for awhile and they're like, hmm okay let's talk conditions and Jaster didn't actually think that hard about this proposal alright so he’s like you lost my heir gimme one of yours from your leader and the jedi council deliberate that for awhile and eventually decide that Mereel must mean someone from either Windu's lineage ( Head of the Order) or from Yoda's lineage ( Grandmaster of the Order).

Qui-Gon is immediately and vehemently thrown out of the running, Dooku and Komari are disqualified due to being participants at Galidraan, Feemor is technically not of their lineage, Rael is on assignment, they are looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi and Depa Billaba, who immediately start studying Mandalorian Culture and History like their lives depend on it.

So the council gets back to Mereel and they're like, can you garuantee the hostage won't be like, tortured or murdered?

And Mereel is like, yeah sure as long as you don't betray my trust.

So The council is like, looking at their two shining eighteen year old examples of senior padawans and is like okay you two, does one of you want to volunteer?

And cue Obi-Wan and Depa just immediately throwing down like feral little gremlins while debating each other's merits and Obi-Wan wins because he's learning the language faster and also because he still gets away with tooka eyes and she doesn't and also he bites and while Depa can basically charge her way in and out of any situation Obi-Wan is notoriously more devious and has more experience escaping captivity as the need arises.

She pins him in a headlock but he wins the debate, so she concedes with dignity and helps him up off the floor and the whole council is eyeing the calm collected facade of Yoda's lineafes latest feral hell-padawan and they're like - this is the diplomatic opportunity of the millenia, Padawan Kenobi, please do not start a new Jedi-Mandalorian war.

So they ship this boy off to Mandalore and Mand'alor Jaster Mereel is like, okay, he looks polite.

Anyway almost every other mandalorian on the planet fucking hates him and Death Watch honestly wants to start a new Jefi-Mandalorian war so plots abound to both make an example out of the hostage and assassinate Mereel and the New Mandalorians are trying to convince Obi-Wan to convince Mereel to implement more of their policies and Obi-Wan, right? Obi-Wan is lying to everyone about not speaking mando'a ( Jaster Mereel fucking knows because Jaster Mereel has seen this kid read mando'a text on like, his first day. He perpetuates the lie because it amuses him a little that Obi-Wan's excuse for everything is - terribly sorry, I'm just a hostage!)

Also the secret vendetta between Madame Nu wanting more Mandalorian Source documents and Jaster Mereel wanting more Jedi Source documents and both of them trying to use Obi-Wan to get them. ( his excuse to both the Jedi and the Mandalorians when they bother him is 'terribly sorry, but I'm just a hostage')

Cue Obi-Wan, right, just living his life eating spicy food and sweet cakes and sparring with Jasters Guard and spending half his nights in the library and letting some kid he met in the marketplace try and teach him to paint and coolly coordinating the AgriCorps research by doing their little remote experiments and samples and casually side-stepping a lot of murder attempts and random acts of malice short of murder and anyways it takes three years for them to turn up Jango Fett, whose half-feral and kind of addicted to spice and full of so much rage he could crack a planet in half if he had any grasp of the Force and Obi-Wan bearing the brunt of the grudge he bears because, well, Obi-Wan is there and,Fett keeps,arguing with his father as to why they'd just let the,Jedi go now so Obi-Wan is a hostage stuck in limbo because is the debt paid or isn’t it he's also basically an ambassador to/of mandalore at this point and he's been keeping up with all the training guides and manuals the council has been sending him he'd love some actual guidance but he goes to the armorers for advice sometimes and makes do.

Anyway this ultimately ends up with Jango Fett planting things ( after wrecking things) and aggressively coparenting a garden with Obi-Wan until he manages to come to terms with his grief.

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One of those ‘pick two pills’ things but it’s things I actually want

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if you're transgender and need name ideas, may I direct you toward the nato alphabet because like. delta? november?? echo?? romeo is like the butchest name. please consider foxtrot. being named whiskey would be cool as hell. I know multiple transmascs who were a bit too into english lit and are named victor now. I've met people named sierra who were trans in every direction. maybe don't name yourself golf

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im officially finished high school!! and arcane came out (perfect timing) and so finally i have time to draw properly againnn

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one day you too could be a fanfic author who updates a decade later

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Safety Officer Cody Fett feat. The OSHA-compliant booty-shorts

(magical realism AU where Cody is a safety officer and Obi-wan is a menace who is sometimes useful by johanneb)

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AU where Obi-Wan is a nurse and Cody is a firefighter 🥰

[prints available!]

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Safety Officer Cody Fett feat. The OSHA-compliant booty-shorts

(magical realism AU where Cody is a safety officer and Obi-wan is a menace who is sometimes useful by johanneb)

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