#tbh i also wanted myself to be in some kind of bullshit story

[r3db3ans]

Breans V.S the sh*tty life of fanfiction. - 0

"And here the new beginning of my life."

Yeah, yes, you're right, the color palette of this is pink.

And yes it is short.

[NEXT]

[miimo96]

Thoughts on My Adventures with Superman S2 FINALE

This has me kinda scared because Normally when this happens, it usually means 2 thing's; 1 this is either going to be Very long episode or 2, Somebody's going to die, and with the way the creator's have been teasing us with Tweets about Kara's demise, I'm guessing it's the ladder, and if that's the case WTF DC

Also if had a nickel for everytime that a Giant spaceship threatened to Destroy Earth as a way to Rebuild krypton in a Superman story, I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't alot, but it's weird that it's happened twice

So lemme get this straight, this Lex is smart enough to build the parasite suit, have a fail safe for that, is able to frame Superman gaining Millions of followers and government access, infuse Kryptonite to Kryptonian built robots, but isn't smart enough to come up with a fail safe when said robots get hacked!?....yeah I call Bullshit

Hell yeah the Cavalry's here! oh, and Sam too I guess whatever, listen the FANS might've forgiven your ass for abandoning lois 6 episodes ago, but I sure as hell don't, in all seriousnes tho I am glad he got some sort of character development regarding his relationship with Superman, seeing it as how he is now trying to help him instead of ya know, Trying to Kill him 😅 btw I kinda feel stupid for asking myself how the heck they turned invisible, only to realize they were actually holding on to Only the character who Can turn invisible Lol 😅😅 also did anyone else immediately thought've Lobo when he said the Main man, no, just me

Wow I can't belive they actually gave Kara the Winter soldier treatment, from the brainwashing, Down to him effing reactivating it like freakin Zemo, Well looks like Clark's gonna have to fight his cousin again, hopefully he doesn't end up like last time, or if not maybe Jimmy can talk some sense into her, Seeing as how it was seeing a picture of Jimmy which resulted in her breaking free from Brainiacs control, maybe this where he can finally confesses his feelings for her, Omg I would love that ^w^

Wait you're telling me Brainiac Did it, that he's the reason why krypton exploded, that HE Killed clarks and Kara's parents!? Oh nah Brainiac gotta die now, also has anyone else how similar he is to Zod, from his reasoning, to his personality, to even this whole effing scenario, like This is some shit Zod would've done, and it's funny because I was actually thinking about this not to long ago about how we technically don't need Zod in this show because Brainiac fits that role perfectly, especially with how he's been depicted this season, Omg if this was an intentional Detail on their part, then it's official, this show never ceases to Amaze me

Uh oh scary Kara's back, Damn it Brainiac why you gotta be such a Bitch; Also it may be nothing, but the way those missiles were moving kinda reminded of the way Darksides Omega beams would move, which got me thinking about something; What if Kryptons technology is possibly made from Apocalypse

This shot is ABSOLUTELY Beautiful; from the colors, to the camera work, to even the Symbolism between him and the Sun, everything was just Screams Superman

Tbh out of all the anime tropes they've done this season, I gotta say Talk no jutsu the 1 was NOT expecting them pull, and ya know what, I'm actually kinda glad they did, because it just fits Superman's MO; Superman has always been represented for kindness not his strength, like even if you've done him dirty, he'll still always choose to help you because that's just who he is, hes the person who just wants to help, he'll carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, he's the person who will try to stop a threat with his words before having to result to violence, he's the Man of Steel not because of what he can do, but because of who he is and always will be, hence why this trope works perfectly for him, it's the Perfect representation of what he embodies, Compassion, That's what makes him Superman

Ok I have a few things regarding this scene, 1st off i Absolutely love my 2 star children, 2nd of all Kara don't throw him into the sun, that's how make Nuclear man 😂 3rd of all, in all honesty, I was not worried 1 bit when Kara got shot mainly for 2 reasons; 1 even tho she was clearly shot by Kryptonite, they were directly near the sun and if I remember correctly, the Sun is what gives them their power, granting them the abilities to heal from critical wounds as well as even more strength, and because 2, kryptonians have invulnerable skin meaning she won't burn up from the sun even if she falls into it, all in all touching scene but No stakes

Kara's lighting's, Kryptonite Saber, Clean animation, Super sayian references!? OMG this episode is AMAZINGGG!! Also Kara's lighting's Red!? Ngl but I SWEAR I thought it was gonna be yellow, not because it would only go good with her hair, but because it in my opinion, it just fits her better, plus we did see kinda of it Start to spark in her fight against Brainiac 2 episodes ago, and since Clark's is blue it would only just made sense for hers to be yellow, hopefully maybe it can like evolve in season 3 or something, don't get wrong I like the Red but in my opinion, it just feels like a missed opportunity, In other News

Eff yeah Brainiac's Dead! Be honest, how many of you actually thought kara was dead after that scene, because my heart immediately stopped after she passed out 😅

Also can we talk about how Amazing Kara's suit looks, like Omg this Has to be one of the best desings I've seen, I just love everything about it from the colors to the boots all the way to especially the Cape, like I just love how it looks like a scarf UwU

AH siblings being siblings 😊 btw Love how he still has the shirt from when he was kid, Such a full circle moment, also when it comes to Kara's, this Kara, the kara from injustice 2, the CW show and even The FLASH movie are All of my favorite Kara's, every single one of them EXPECT and I can't believe I'm saying this, the 1 from the DCAU, like I'm sorry but in my opinion she was just too much of a hot head, and she barely had any screen time in Justice league, like I don't understand how did we stray so far from God, also she was incredibly weaker when it came to her cousin, this 1 on the other hand can slap her cousin around like it was a normal Tuesday, So yeah that's my Hot take come at me In the comments I dare you

Well well well looks like instead of mommy dosen't need you anymore, it's more like We don't need Mommy anymore, hell yeah Lex's finally going to be the Villain next season and I soo can't wait, oh and what's this, it looks like slade is gonna be his right hand now, oh yeah Slex is Definitely becoming cannon

🎵 Super rizz, Super rizz, here comes Clark's Super rizz 🎵

And with that another amazing end to another amazing series, Overall this season was freakin Epic, from the animation, to the music, to the character designs minus the robots, everything was just epic, from Start to finish; only thing to do Now is wait for season 3, but I wanna know you're thoughts, What did YOU think of season 2, and what was your favorite episode or moment from this series, comment or just leave a like if ya enjoyed this Thoughts on series, and lemme know if I should do more of this, Anyway I'mma head out because this took a while for me to write and I'm feeling kinda burnt out, Anyway yeah thank you for reading and I can't wait to see you again in S3, and with that, Superman Saturday's has come to an end, well, for now anyway ^^;

[pretend-wizard]

dumb star wars setting ideas ive had forever that I've wanted to explore. thinking abt them bc I'm rewatching clone wars and while it's pretty good, it has serious "a little bit bad so it makes you wanna do something else better" syndrome

okay so like. following the idea that the Jedi of the Republic had become suborned to the forces of the dark side without knowing it, it's clear that there was something deeply wrong with the Jedi as an institution, like, obviously, that's what the prequels are all about.

they're part of this war machine and don't seem to care, they can't follow anything like Jedi ethics radically. so, obviously, they shouldn't exist as an institution. (also in some ways if you're doing a star wars setting it's just boring to make it similar to anything in the skywalker saga).

but also Jedi are like, a whole cool thing in my brain bc I grew up when the prequels came out and I played way too much kotor. so! my first idea (that probably isn't super original but it's not like I heard it somewhere and wanted to use it): the Jedi Diaspora. plenty of worlds all over the galaxy have enclaves that are utterly, often dogmatically, cut off from each other.

I think there's a lot of space to play in there, a bunch of little idiosyncratic orders, enclaves, councils across the stars. some deeply involved in a planet's governance or politics (like on Dantooine in kotor 1), and some reclusive (like what would have been and sorta was on Telos in kotor 2), and plenty in between. it's fun because you can put a lot of different stories a lot of different places, inspecting and scrutinizing aspects of the Jedi as they were, as they should have been, as they once were, and so on.

but okay, if that's the state of the Jedi, what's the Big Government in the galaxy like? and in some ways it's much more interesting to say there isn't one, but I think more interesting than that is saying that there is and there isn't. like, the core worlds of the Republic like Coruscant and Carida could have any number of things going on with them, though I like the idea of some kind of military government (seeing Coruscant in s5 of the clone wars as this like, grand production facility and staging ground for Republic forces was really interesting tbh).

just, a nearly secular federation of core worlds is neat to me, mostly bc it means old settings like the Jedi temple are off-limits to Jedi, and that's fun. are they allowed to make pilgrimages there? maybe some and not others, that would be neat. plus honestly, something about it being all military and boring means you look elsewhere, which I like. plus hey they're sending soldiers elsewhere, so again we don't have to keep looking at Coruscant closely (the underworld of Coruscant is so so boring to me, and I feel like I want less time in the Jedi temple and the Senate building).

okay. but let's see, that probably leaves a bunch of the galaxy to the wind right? so let's fill it up, what's in there?

mandalorians are cool (in kotor 2 ways), and in a lot of ways they feel very rome-like. they expand, conquered people become mandalorians, repeat. that's fun! or, fun to play a game where that's part of the world. and hey, that plays fun with the Jedi Diaspora. Jedi are often on worlds that get conquered, what happens when they are? space to play there =)

alright but that's not enough, you need more players on the galactic board. I find Hutts and crime syndicate stuff boring generally though they're a big part of the setting, and Sith stuff hasn't come up yet (the galaxy is probably kinda tired of Jedi and Evil Jedi running around bc I can't stop myself from thinking about kotor 2 and so no one puts up with Sith power grab bullshit anymore. but.)

so what if there's some fun pirate Republic on the Outer Rim to invert both crime stuff and the old Republic stuff? and just to top it off and make it interesting, what if their state religion is Sith-based? what does that look like? if you treat the Sith-religious like people and peoples that used to just be criminals try to be taken seriously, what happens? and I think the answer is smthn rlly interesting that I'd want to play to explore tbh.

idk that I have more than that rn. there would probably be a stray Jedi fleet out there somewhere (bc I listened to Twilight Mirage), id want to figure out Something for droids bc like, cmon, and also god it feels like Star Wars is full of superweapons so maybe there's something about how commonplace they are bc that's more fun than going "oh no there's another Big Laser!" all the time. uhhhhh idk, how common are force powers, or lightsabers without Jedi gatekeeping them? who knows. what's the latest form of dangerous racing vehicles? who cares? maybe me

anyway hey if you read all of this thanks that's extremely embarrassing for me. if we're friends then hey maybe talk me into running an anthology series of tabletop games about it. I probsally won't but who knows. at least talk to me about interesting wrinkles you think would be fun to include, that's way more important. thanks =)

[lizlives]

I admittedly, have kinda a weird issue where I'll grasp onto pieces of art that make me deeply uncomfortable, spend hours pouring over discourse surrounding them, and then never watch them, at least not yet lol. Anyway, I just wanted to say that as a disclaimer before I talk about an interesting revelation I had about two works of art, End of Evangelion (and I guess NGE as a whole) and I Saw The TV Glow, based on my admittedly limited understanding of both of them.

I do plan on watch ISTTG pretty soon, once I have some time to mull it over given how much everything I've research has convinced, but I realized that despite it and my reaction to EoE (at least what little I have observed of them) being very similar, there was a distinctly more personal feeling in ISTTG, for obvious reasons.

One bit of behind the scenes stuff that I remember reading about regarding EoE is that Hideaki Anno made it very clear that he made EoE with a goal in mind. There's a quote somewhere where he basically said that if you watch it and don't take anything away from it, it's because you've already absorbed the message he was going for and don't require it.

That, almost certainly irrationally, made me kinda mad tbh. Like, I've just gone through the seven stages of grief, and that's without even watching the thing, and now I'm supposed to just throw that all in the garbage because it wasn't for me? So he made an entire devastating piece of art that with purpose and intention destroys the characters and their integrity, and then basically made it just as a Trojan horse? It was an extremely tough pill to swallow and tbh I still don't totally understand. Maybe I'm fundamentally misunderstanding something, let me know if I get something really wrong.

Anyways, looking into ISTTG, something kinda clicked for me. I realized they're both kinda alike in a very particular way. The themes and ideas and artistic concepts present in ISTTG were resonating with me in a distinct way. I wasn't just uncomfortable and sad, I was, fearful and kind of motivated, if only by that fear. I wasn't really sad on behalf of the characters being ruined, I was sad on behalf of what the ruining of the characters meant for me. How much I related to them, how much the core concept of the story and the ways in which the story goes to lengths to warp it and twist it, were almost illuminating.

It was like being trapped in a prison with no lights, and then suddenly the lights turn on, and you realize you're in a prison. It's horrifying, but it also kinda of makes you realize what's at stake. It crystallizes the fears that until now, you could only speculate on.

Now I kind of understand what Anno was saying (maybe at least). I wasn't the target audience for what he was going for. I don't necessarily see that much of myself in the flaws of the characters, but I do in ISTTG. In one, I was merely sad, left floating without direction. But in the other, my fear, if nothing else felt tangible. It made me realize what makes both of these pieces of art so similar yet different.

Both are deeply personal and bleak pieces of art that serve to make their audience question their own flaws and issues through genre and genre conventions that would otherwise serve as a source of comfort and familiarity. The main difference is the target audience, and now that I find myself the target audience being aimed at, I think I understand the first a little more.

Once I actually watch I Saw The TV Glow, and maybe somewhere down the line Neon Genesis Evangelion as well, I'll probably have way more to say. Maybe this is all bullshit lol. Anyways I hope any of this was illuminating.

[ca-suffit]

Before I came to know your account, I used to follow NCL

What I know about what she used to say until that point is that she won't reveal what she means by PoC because that could lead to doxxing (because people could find out where she lives).

And about that tweet, I know she said she apologized and that it was bad wording because she was trying to be sarcastic like sad laughing or something like that and not insensitive but came out wrong, due to her difficulty in signaling tone of voice, etc, because she's autistic.

I mean, I can see that making sense if true (I'm white&autistic myself tho, so maybe I'm just being too accomplice, I apologize if that's the case), but still she is always very defensive about everything that matters, super friendly with those racists, have blocked you, etc etc etc.

So, if she actually didn't mean any harm, why act like that? Why favour those people? Why is she more worried about defending her "reputation" and being offended when called racist than actually trying to do right by the stuff she's been called out for? Seems hypocritical, at best.

ur asking the right questions tbh. bcuz ppl's actions will show u who they are. her words are always performative. that's everyone here from this group. nobody rly takes any accountability or shows they've grown from mistakes. they wouldn't be fighting against this account if that was true, bcuz all I'm ever doing is showing them their own words. I've never seen NCL or any of them change anything, only make excuses. elon musk says he's autistic too, who gives a fuck (that's not meant against u btw, it's a general comment on this kind of behavior). lots of autistic ppl don't act like him. u can tell who is using any identity as an excuse to keep doing shitty things and it's an age old tactic for all kinds of bigots to use.

it's also funny she's concerned w doxxing when it's *her* but doesn't gaf when it's a trans person who isn't even here anymore, who literally was directly tied to the post she was making. someone else who dealt with fandom harassment and still is, even not being here?? who cares obviously, it's not her.

u notice also how many of this group she/they themselves too but have no problem making ableist jokes about this same trans guy, as if that isn't often the most obvious way ppl are usually transphobic (implying being transgender is a mental illness)?? (the last screencap, that's obviously nalyra's writing). u would think there'd be some care for that topic from ppl who claim to be trans themselves. like the autism or "poc" thing, nothing is ever a "shield" from criticism. so many white fandom ppl work against their own groups too, only bringing out these identities to protect themselves but saying everyone else in that group who isn't agreeing with them can get killed, who cares.

it's always all only what they think makes *them* look best. they only care about their own groups and act like a cult to keep each other in line, then also agree to go after the same targets so it sounds like there's a "true" story there without ever providing evidence. they cry the loudest about everything when there's never anything anyone sees of *them* getting bullied.

they also purposely get themselves close to the cast and crew so they can hold ppl hostage into not disagreeing with them or else ur "out" and now Sam Reid won't know u exist or whatever the fuck.

it's not worth it to stay around them for that shit. they do not care about anyone and this bullshit of her building "community" is white fandom propaganda bcuz she's obviously only in this for her own reputation. she wouldn't have issues with my account if she was interested in fucking "community." I'm flat out telling her the issues and I *know* she's been told for *years* too and she's intentionally ignoring it. so ppl can cry all the want that I can also directly tell cast and crew shit too, it's not some special off limits thing only for white fandom. I'm not here to be liked anyway, I'm here to call this shit out and that's exactly what I've been doing. they're scared as hell too which is why every time I do smething they *rly* hate, they try to hit back as hard as they can but it's the same tired shit. 6 months and no creativity bcuz all they are is pathetic nobodies, that's why they don't have reputations in the fandom as anything but annoying, boring assholes.

[ranger-kellyn]

def not pacing this rewatch like i did with atla since i just finished the first season lol

i ended up remembering just about all of the episodes as they happened. not sure why i was so convinced i had missed some?? i'm guessing it's because korra is a lot more fast-paced than atla was since the season is ~8 eps shorter than atla's season 1.

overall, i am enjoying myself. i'm excited to keep watching, and it's been fun getting to think about all the extended universe stuff and how it all weaves into korra's story.

any complaint i have about korra i know mostly goes back to how yanked around during production they were. at least, that's what i was always told?? tbh, it's been so long, i don't know if i ever read like. official. sources dkfjhk that might just have been tumblr posts claiming korra was getting unfair production treatment, getting told something like halfway through that they needed to wrap things up bc they weren't getting a second season?? but with no sort of citation. it's not like that's too hard for me to believe given my specific grips with the storyline all stem from how rushed everything feels. (and at this point, the show is already over and done with it's not deep enough for me to care about doing any actual digging about what did or didn't happen behind the scenes)

even as open of a mind as i went into this with, i still don't think korra/mako was built up like....at all???? like i guess that brief moment of them leaning against each other under the tree was??? it?????? but in all fairness, i now firmly disagree with my younger self that bolin was "better" for korra. i think bolin has just as much growing up to do as mako. to me, his feelings could best be described as puppy love. yes, he's a sweetheart. yes, he's my angel. yes he's my babyboy, and i love him more than anything-- but he's Just A Boy.

idk, all i know is i was going along fine with it all right up to episode 5, the spirit of competition, that started with the little recap that was like "love is in the air!" up until that moment, i didn't really??? think any of the romance was all that believable? i feel like that recap did a lot of heavy lifting there, bc all of a sudden the love triangle bullshit was just. full throttle, in your face.

and when i say the love triangle stuff just bogs this down....like there is such limited time in this show to get things done and we're really doing this... flkdjglnkj

really, i just feel bad for asami lmao she didn't do a fucking thing wrong. that whole situation sucked for her.

other primary complaint is that the whole amon storyline just. doesn't feel satisfying. that ending was absolutely rushed, and killing him off they way they did was convenient, and nothing more.

the final conflict between him and korra isn't satisfying. having her hiding from him under a table just and then in a hallway??? that's the setting they went with? and i understand waiting for her airbending at that critical moment, but it wasn't satisfying. nothing about that moment connected me at all with the nature of airbending, and i just...idk just saying amon was using some perverse version of bloodbending to take away bending??? like. i guess that's an answer????

and honestly??? again, this is probably just a "we ran out of time" thing, but by the end of things??? i wouldn't say the benders have done literally anything about what lead up to amon gaining such a serious following. that kind of resentment doesn't build up overnight, and if we take the comics into consideration, that's been building in that area for decades.

i also don't think amon's motivations are...clear?? like, at best we get a guess from tarlok of something like "he thinks bending is the source of all evil in the world" bc their father was a blood thirsty bloodbender???? (a guy whose motivations are even less clear??? like yeah i guess some people just want to watch the world burn but like. ok...*john oliver voice* cool.)

idk i just don't think the benders did anything to help with the "non-benders are feeling threatened/oppressed by benders" they built up.

ANYWAY.

main stand outs are:

the air kids - forgot how funny these goobers are, and it's going to be a lot of fun watching them grow up over the seasons.

mako - walked away from this, like i had hoped, liking him more than i did in the past. he's just an older brother, your honor. he's doing his best. his best isn't great, but neither is mine most of the time, and i don't even have the excuse that my parents were killed in front of me as a child.

asami - girl literally did nothing wrong and honestly i don't even know why she sticks around team avatar. by all accounts, she has every right to hate these goobers just as much as anyone else dvhldkfj. babe, they do not deserve you dlakfhl i think she would be a fun character study to try to write from her perspective of the season. like. she had her whole world kind of turned upside down. again. clearly she never expected her father to harbor such extremist attitudes. (smh hiroshi dont u know u have to indoctrinate ur kids early?? before they can think and form opinions for themselves????)

regardless of anything, like i said, i'm having a good time. i do find it fun to be able to ask, "why didn't this work?" and i'm looking forward to continuing on. a quick scroll of the images for the next season reminds me that, once more, A Lot happens in this season dslksfjn

[literaticat]

I came from a Conservative home and I didn't start unlearning until after I graduated. I am deeply ashamed of this and realize it is possible I have said things that I shouldn't have because I didn't think to ask questions. I would describe myself as a Leftist now who believes in many social justice movements and I do what I can. But I worry that despite all my unlearning that I am tainted and no agent or editor or publisher will ever want me. I'm at a crossroads, honestly. Should I give up and recognize that maybe I don't deserve to be published for who I used to be or do I tell agents and hope that they understand we all start somewhere as long as I continue to do what I'm doing and uplift marginalized authors and dedicate my platform to uplifting them? Even reaching out to you fills me with shame, honestly, because I don't think I deserve a chance but my friends believe I do. I just don't know what to do.

I think you are being a little hard on yourself. Real talk - a lot of the language you use here is pretty intense. ("filled with shame", "tainted", "don't deserve" success, etc) -- and if you haven't started on a therapy journey, can I gently suggest that for you? Because what you've got here is some stinkin thinkin. <3

So, when you were a kid, you were ignorant (most kids are, tbh) -- when you got older, you learned better, and did better, and continue to do better and dedicate yourself to NOT HARMING people by word or deed. Right?

You say you might have "said things you shouldn't" -- but do you mean you made a habit of like, posting horrific things on the internet? Were you out there hate-criming people on video, or with an audience? If THAT'S the case, then yeah, that's a problem! (As it should be, tbh!)

But if you mean, you were just being a dumb kid on the internet like a million other dumb kids, then why not just delete your childhood social media and start from scratch with your grown adult writer hat on? Obviously in some ways "the internet lasts forever" -- but I don't think anyone is going to seek out decade-old tweets from a deleted account to find the random joke tween you "liked" or whatever.

And, own your story. You don't need to "confess it" like it's a deep shameful secret -- you can just SAY, I'm from a conservative background and it took a lot of work to unlearn all the bullshit, and that's a process that doesn't stop, but I'm glad I know better now. There's nothing wrong with that, actually. That's a GOOD thing.

(I say this as somebody whose family is from Louisiana and Mississippi, and I could tell you STORIES. When my father died, there was a Confederate flag on his casket. He wasn't, like, a KLAN member, or some kind of back-woods gun-totin dude -- he was a brilliant, well-educated lawyer who had lived in Europe and had an array of different kinds of friends. He was also a white man born in the 1940s in Mississippi who drank Dixie beer and liked the rebel flag. I myself didn't really understand the significance of that piece of symbolism until I was pretty much an adult -- if you'd asked Middle School me if the picture of hottie Elvis with a confederate flag backdrop I had in my room was a bad thing, I would have been like "what, no! Elvis is cool! Elvis is a REBEL! American by birth - Southern by the Grace of God!" -- I was an idiot, and nobody ever told me differently. Then I learned, and snapped the fuck out of it. THAT'S A GOOD THING!)

[cowboy-robooty]

Robooty Reviews: Royal Servant (3/10)

Read this way back in middle school... shared mangago lists with one of my friends and recognized this one and decided to reread. Lord. Who Likes This. The story is about Kyon and his master Lucaon and theres like some plot bullshit since in this world theres these guys who are royals and got these powers that they never fuckin use and live longer too and are strong n all that. and the only way to kill one tho is to give them this special poison that is completely undetectable and the only way to cure it is if the person who administered it fixes that shit. But yeah Lucaon hates servants and Kyon is a servant and Lucaon is a classic stoic scum gong and falls in love with Kyon but only starts being nice to him once Kyon literally spends 20 chapters on the brink of death lol bro got a fever and slit his wrists and fell into an ice pond and then got a fever again and pneumonia and Lucaon went "..... ok ill be nice to you now"

the art is good for this story dont get me wrong but its really really really stiff expression wise. maybe i'm just a little stupid and i need to see a huge cartoon tear drop to tell a character is sad but for realsies I do think that the art is pretty, but the expressions when bitches are fucking dying and shit could be a little more extreme. its okay to sacrifice their pretty boy looks for one pannel trust me..

The romance itself is just like whatevs. I will admit I am a fan of how kyon will just take anything like bro does not give a fuck okay cuz hes madly in love with Lucaon and doesnt care what he does to him. Im pretty sure in one chapter Kyon is just walking in the halls and Lucaon lunges at him and bites him until he bleeds and kyon passes the fuck out from the attack and its just like ok lol. LUCAON DOESNT GIVE A FUCK HES SO MEAN TO KYON UNTIL HES SUDDENLY NOT BECAUSE HE HAD HIS SCUM GONG REALIZATION WHEN KYON TRIES TO LEAVE HIM 15 MILLION TIMES AND ALMOST DIES IN EVERY INSTANCE OF TRYING TO LEAVE. the upside to kyon is that hes a simp and a pussy and he is a bit of a little bitch but he isnt a whiny bitch about it. like lucaon is his tormentor and he finds out that THERES A POSSIBILITY that he could be the cause of Lucaon's demise and immediately is like okay ill kill myself i need to get out of here and thats why he almost dies 10 million times trying to leave bc he only tries to leave bc lucaon's blonde ass brother is like dude. you might cause Lucaon to die since you're a secret spy with your memories wiped. AND ITS KINDA FUNNY BECAUSE HE STRAIGHT UP SEES KYON ALMOST DEAD IN BED AND GOES "GOD I WISH THIS BITCH WOULD JUST DIE ALREADY" LOL!!

When i was younger i was a fan of the pink haired guy (lucaons other brother) and his servant who is his boyfriend and treated as an equal and yeah younger me was right tbh kind wish the story focused on them instead. but ngl i hate the entire family drama thing bc like its the plot and all that but im like WHO GIVE A FUCK? this manhwa is just mid. mid as fuck. I'll admit when i was younger i re read the 20 chapters where kyon is on the brink of death like 50000 times over and over again because i loveeee suicide and i lovee when kyon tries to kill himself a million jillion times and Lucaon is like FUCKING STOP. theres like idk tiny hints of goodness. I can enjoy a good scum gong alright and I do like when Lucaon is like "brah... ive seen you cry more times than smile..... thats kinda fucked" MMMMMMM YES. FEEL BAD. FEEL REMORSE. but its just not worf it okay the manhwa sucks and its 100 chapters or some shit like that bruh moment. I also do like how at the end Kyon acknowledges that hes going to die before Lucaon and Lucaon needs to learn how to love other people than him because he doesn't want Lucaon to be stuck on him forever and ever. I think it was a nice bittersweet thing. In short. just not my thing. mid. equivalent to eating spoonfuls of peanut butter for dinner. Like you can... wont be very satisfying tho

[defensivelee]

ok... i just blocked anon at this point but heres what they said bc apparently i didn't read what i wrote myself(?!)

i would just leave it at that, but honestly? i do wanna address some things here not bc i feel the need to defend myself to anon, but bc i wanna make it clear to you ppl WHY all this stuff was written.... like im not gonna sugarcoat it, i DO enjoy writing this bc hi. huge whump lover here. making pretty people suffer is my favorite thing. but it's also so important to say that this is FICTION (this is historical rpf which is kinda funny but still, none of this actually happened). there is no real abuse going on so there is no need for any of this performative bullshit. anon is just wasting time bc it goes without saying but i would never ever condone or do this shit irl. idk how it works for other ppl but for me fiction does not affect reality, the only way it does is that it makes me happy precisely because i can do whatever i want and nobody gets hurt. and these mfs dont care, they're dead im sure they have better things to do. anyway i just wanna say:

all the details anon is giving me abt my story makes it sound like they read the whole story, both Dona Dona and the main chapters. that's almost 100k words. when they could have clicked off at any time. when the tags are so clearly right there. like... you did this for what 😭

i assume the gang rape anon is talking about is in the Tenth Hot Spring when Bentinck serviced a bunch of dudes to seal a deal for William. i would find it kind of difficult to describe it as that... but tbh, yeah, it would have been incredibly hard for him to say no. in any case, so sorry to tell you this anon but there are no perfect victims in this AU! he never sees it as rape because he thinks he deserves it, and because he does enjoy it at times. his whole image as an Ally under an Overlifer kind of relies on that. and while i'll tag it properly, i'm not going to sanitize or sugarcoat it as it's a huge part of his character arc. he doesn't think he's allowed to say no or have boundaries, so he won't! in this society i think it would be hard to find a "perfect victim." Bentinck doesn't cry about this because he thinks he's fulfilling his purpose.

Bentinck being described as a shotacon..... im so sorry that was so fucking funny to me LMFAO

i wouldn't say he enjoyed kissing William's father as a boy, he just thinks he did. obv we don't get to see much of it in Dona Dona bc it's from William's POV. but even then, as an adult, he stills sees it as an honor. AGAIN, part of his whole arc of how he views himself, the religion, and his role in it. that event is kind of the starting point of that, it was put there for a reason and not bc i actually think kids can consent/enjoy assault! in my experience, they can think they did. here again, the perfect victim narrative does not always reflect reality.

you're right, kids can't initiate that! like i said in my disclaimer, it's a result of grooming and how they've been raised. they think they are, but it's just making them easier to abuse. i never once believed they could consent.

im not a rapist period full stop. just not

yeah i romanticize abusive relationships. in FICTION. they're fun to write. jamesborough is a delightful ship and the succubus au has been so fun to work on. real life abusers can choke and i would encourage anyone in a relationship like the ones i write about to seek help immediately.

Anne called Marly a slut bc SHE is victim blaming. EVERYONE victim blames Marly in this story. it's part of HIS arc. i would not blame any victim of this sort of shit irl. and even then, in this universe "slut" doesn't have such a negative connotation as in our world. yes, it is still victim blaming, but how can you read the story and still have it completely fly by your head like that

im aromantic, which i dont know how you wouldnt have just picked up from idk... SCROLLING THRU MY BLOG LIKE ANON SO CLEARLY DID?? LOOKING AT MY ICON?? so no need to pray for those hypothetical partners, it's never happening.

[jyndor]

my grandparents being absolute shitheads is almost certainly a response to the generational trauma associated with my family fleeing Ireland during the famine (a product of british imperialism). there is so much anxiety, depression, adhd, ptsd, etc in my family. I know a little of the traumas that my paternal grandma and grandpa went through to survive as children in absolute poverty in manhattan during and after the depression. I know that trauma had an impact on my grandparents when they got rich.

and that's just on my dad's side.

I can respect that without condoning the shitheadery, the racism, the buy-in to us american whiteness in the name of money and safety and power, the shit they did to THEIR kids, the shit THEIR kids did to MY generation. Empathy and understanding sure, but I don't know how to forgive them. or their parents, or THEIR parents, who had to endure God knows what to bring their families here but also who hurt those families in so many ways.

I feel very deeply the lack of culture, the emptiness of white us american-ness; I always have. when I was a baby and my parents chose to move from new york to delaware for a job, I felt the lack of family every holiday when my friends got to just go over to all their families' homes, or when they'd talk about hanging out after school with their grandparents and cousins. I felt the lack of culture when I'd see my friends going through confirmation or having bar/bat mitzvahs, or when I'd go hang out with my friends from cultures that they were still connected to.

so I have mixed feelings about going to family thanksgiving celebrations - and I am not going this year, I don't go most years tbh - because to me, the idea that my family would want to celebrate a holiday based on colonial mythology and genocide is particularly vomitous to me.

this year my sister is very ill and so my parents aren't doing anything (we might get together this weekend, but idk). my birthday is on the 30th, so maybe we'll say it's for that instead.

I think the most insidious part of thanksgiving is that on its face, it's hard to argue with it as a concept - families coming together to be thankful for another year survived together. but what has thanksgiving always been to me? arguing about politics, long drives up to new york and later connecticut, a lot of food I can't eat and don't want to eat, pretending everything's okay when it's not. luckily my parents' generation is pretty good about all cooking together - none of that women in the kitchen while the men watch football shit (at least none that I saw growing up).

thanksgiving to me on a personal level is a veneer of thankfulness over deep pains and divisions that hasn't been resolved. it's kind of like that on a larger scale too - the very mythology at the heart of thanksgiving, the idea that the pilgrims invited the wampanoag people to some great feast at all is a fucking delusional façade over the actual story.

a façade that was commemorated in 1863 by president lincoln, that great emancipator. this of course after the trail of tears in 1830, and centuries of genocide against native americans. and then fdr, that progressive hero, made it a national holiday in 1941. months before interning japanese americans.

and people have the nerve to complain about the "turkey genocide" every year (as a vegetarian myself I reject and denounce those idiots) while still accepting the existence of a holiday built on the genocide of actual people. I like the turkey pardoning but it's also like... what the fuck kind of american bullshit is that, we pardon turkeys every year (good and cool) while millions of people are incarcerated.

truth and reconciliation necessitates recognizing historical and current harm done and working to repair that harm done. we cannot do that while celebrating thanksgiving.

land back now. reparations now. decolonization globally and domestically NOW. I'll thank my ancestors for their survival on a different day. my birthday sounds like as good a day as any tbh - what better way to thank them than to have been born and continue to live? the only better way may be to fight the very thing that made them refugees in the first place - imperialism.

[thatbitchsimone]

I love you I love you

Thank you thank you

It’s a long story of circle of abuse, I used to save her from my father hitting her and few years later I had to save myself from both of them hitting me

I truly believe she’s evil, not what she does to me but to others also, she beats and humiliates not only me but the maids too, the other siblings are not beaten, the brother sometimes rarely but he’s her worshipper so i don’t think he minds.

I will get a job soon but I don’t think I can move out, it’s not very common here you know, and my father is like a influential guy, but hopefully when I earn my own money and cut her off I’ll be happy, we have a big house so living separately is possible.

I found out something today and it made me sick to my stomach, I have my whole life faced disgusting men, but turns out my brother is also one of them, he is after all my fathers and mothers son. he is an Andrew tate fanboy btw so you can guess his entire personality by that lolllllll.

I am so sorry this is alot of stuff to hear on a site where you are supposed to have fun, I am sending you apology hugs, take care 🫂❤️

Btw have you read the bell jar by Sylvia plath? It’s so depressing it’s taking me months to finish HAHAHAH

that is fucking awful and yes, i dont even believe in the whole concept of evil (i was raised without religion in a completely secular country + im very into psychology so good vs evil is not part of my worldview lol) but some behaviors even i just have to describe as evil and ur mom fits that pretty well like abusing ur own children is fucking evil. i have empathy for her to some extent since her behavior is clearly the result of her being abused herself like u said but it gets clouded by the absolute disgust and hatred and rage i feel for her for letting herself become the abuser herself and keeping the circle of abuse going by passing it on to her children. its one thing to not have the strength or power to stop ur husband from abusing ur kids, but straight up joining in on the abuse is a whole other level of disgusting and im so sorry u have to experience this.

but i do have to say that u seem like a genuinely good person like i really feel like u have so much kindness and love in ur heart and u seem like a very strong, sensible and intelligent girl and i get a strong feeling that the cycle of abuse is gonna end with u (as in, u wont be carrying it on and u will break free from it and if u have kids in the future u will be a good and loving mom to them) and i just wanna acknowledge that bc thats amazing and inspiring and i admire u so much like i just have so much admiration for u right now like u are everything u are the moment u are the vibe

anyway, glad to hear that u at least live in a big house so that u can at the very least have some space from her even tho u live together. i get that its not as easy or simple as some ppl think to ”just move out” especially if u live in a very family oriented culture where its not the norm to do so on top of it all so i think the best thing to do currently is to just kind of try to stay out of her way and honestly just not even listen to the bullshit she says bc her insults are kinda meaningless tbh bc lets be real, if u were skinny she would just use something else to criticize u for. she just wants to put u down in any way she can no matter what u look like. u could probably look like a damn supermodel or movie star and she would still find something to pick on and put u down for, bc she has issues. shes disturbed. her words are empty and her opinions on u are just completely irrelevant. why should u care if a deranged abusive sadist doesnt ”approve” of ur body and size? this woman thinks its ok to mentally torment everyone around her, even HER OWN CHILDREN that she just so happens to not just verbally and emotionally abuse but straight up physically abuse. shes a child abuser. actual scum of the earth. like honestly next time she says something about ur body or calls u fat or whatever this psychopath likes to call u just remind urself that this woman is actually disturbed and sick in the head like shes literally a terrible human being lol who the fuck is she to criticize anyone like ok so u got a little extra meat on ur bones meanwhile she is a deranged sadistic child abuser. like girl whatever flaw u may have is nothing compared to the flaws she has like u are so far above her in every way that actually matters like ur literally so much better than her in every way like shes actually pathetic.

sorry about ur brother btw. seems like us women can never catch a break from these male parasites that are crawling around everywhere these days. they just keep getting worse and worse now with all the andrew tate shit brainwashing them. thank god we women have each others backs in this vile current climate. sisterhood is so important, especially now with all this crazy shit going around.

and yes ofc ive read the bell jar! read it for the first time when i was 16 and have reread it a few times since then. its one of those books that deeply resonates with nearly every woman who reads it even now generations later like its truly timeless in that way thats why its so good

[foggyparadisecandy]

Foggy 2.0

Just a recap of the good things that have happened in the last two+ months since my partner split.

It's been a lot tbh ...

I've reconnected with RL friends that I have not seen since pre-COVID. I forgot how fun some of these idiots are. lol

I've made a crapton of new friends online. I love hearing people's stories and ... ngl ... damages. I feel comfort in other people's pains and struggles. It makes me understand that we all have challenges. Life goes on.

I've met a very special, interesting woman who is combination supportive and challenging - calling out my bullshit one moment and encouraging my insanity the next. Who could ask for anything better from a friend?

I lost ten pounds ... somewhat unhealthily at first because I wasn't eating ... but it's all good. I wanted to get a bit thinner so ... yeah! I'm happy about this for the most part.

I have recharged my work life for the first time in a decade. Still got some ways to go but I've set a huge goal for next year and my goal is to knock it out of the park. I want to make a shit ton of money to create some sort of trauma relief or self-help resources for hurting people. Possibly military specific resources. Not sure yet. I have time to figure it out.

I'm sorting through parental damages that have plagued me my entire life. IDK if this will ever get sorted - it's been in me for a long time but I'm going to do my best to process it in a healthy way so I can minimize the damages and recognize the symptoms of unhealthy behaviors. I've been pretty low on myself my entire life lol ... "low" is an understatement. haha. Either way ... working on it now!

I'm exercising a good amount. It's kind of boring but also ... I find it to be meditative when I get in the zone. Plus I'm seeing muscles that I haven't seen for a looooong time. lol. I'm not vain but it does help with my self-confidence to feel in a decent shape.

My home life isn't better necessarily but there is a lot more transparency and open-ness. Honestly this hasn't been on my top 10 things I've even given a shit about working on for a long time. Still isn't. There is more to life than mere existence, dear readers. It's ok to want more and be honest with yourself and your partner(s).

I've been more open with people about my pain and depression. I've made some strong connections with people who have taken my authenticity as an opportunity to express their own challenges. I think mental health is a dirty dangerous secret and I'm ok with putting it out there and giving people the courage to do the same.

I've gotten to know a lot more about myself through reading and talking with a lot of those damaged folks I've met online and in RL. lol. I am learning new things all the time - really stretching myself to grow and evolve. Hard fucking work and I have a long way to go but ... I really am enjoying it.

I feel ... stronger in all ways. More capable. More clear-headed. I have desires like I haven't for a very long time. Desires to achieve more with my life. Do more. Help more people. Make a difference.

I feel better about myself and who I am. No matter what struggles I have with self-image, it's been ... heart-warming ... to hear people tell me about kindnesses small and large that I've done for them over the years in an effort to remind me of who I am. It's ... IDK ... I guess karma is a real thing. I'm a pretty kind and nice person and I've put out a lot of love to people in need. I didn't do it for gain, but it sure is nice to hear people paying it back and giving me ego boosts here and there.

I love and I forgive. I am working on setting boundaries - I don't understand them. I know that. But also I'm talking with my therapist about figuring out a balance here. If I choose to love you, I'm going all in and loving you hard. I'm ok with being kind and supportive. I'm ok with forgiving those I love. I feel they deserve it and I think too many people haven't had enough love or forgiveness in their lives. I don't see my approach as weakness. It's strength.

I was blessed by being part of my former partner's life for as long as she allowed it. It was fucking amazing. She was so open and lovely about everything. Open to trying things. She taught me so much about myself and life. It's funny ... she always had the control ... I knew that and ... as much as it hurt me the way she exercised it (she could have done it differently fr but I forgive 100%) ... I hope she understands it and it gives her comfort - she has power and control even in the submissive role in a relationship. Good thing to keep in mind.

I was blessed that my partner was so brave and strong and showed me how someone with such a tough start to life could perservere and rise to the occasion. It inspired me tbh. It's one of the primary things that made me fall for her. Yeah ... she's got some work to do ... who doesn't? But she's got the core characteristics to succeed in life. She'll go far. I believe in her.

I was extremely fortunate that she reached out and helped ease so many of my fears over her well-being. I honestly can't thank her enough. I feel a million times better. My worry for her was crushing me. My worry that I had hurt her. My worry that she would be killed. So many small worries that she put to rest. I know how hard that was for her to do. She confirmed my belief in her character - even if she probably still doesn't see what I see. I have faith that if she keeps going, she'll get there. I believe in her. Yeah ... I repeated that. My blog so ... suck it.

I 100% Achievements on Binding of Isaac. There were 99 Achievements - I'm taking this as a win! I had started playing this right before the split and I couldn't find the motivation to start a new game so this was a good one to be immersed in ... 400+ hours to distract myself from stuff. Good times.

There's dozens of other small things, here and there.

I won't go so far as expressing gratitude for the break-up but I feel that it's woken me up to more possibilities in my life and ... yeah ... fuck it ... I guess there is some gratitude in there after all.

I'm ok with that.

[breathplayed]

4, 6 & 8 💜

below cut to save dashboards!!

(4) what is the plot bunny you've been carrying the longest? ooouuuuhhh..... so many............ So many............ i have full fic outlines from 2017 LOL but the most viable one is a jikook au where they're both vampire hunters + jimin is Turned + jungkook swears to hunt him and be the one to kill him bc it's "what he would have wanted" some good ole lovers to enemies bullshit Once Again. every year since 2018 i've thought it'd be a fun three-part fic i could post for halloween and have never gotten around to it. lately i keep thinking it'd be good for an original novel (hello lesbians <3) but then i would have to actually worldbuild and write well which is daunting......... so back to the drawing board every time...... Maybe Some Day

(6) do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best? 💀 i always tell myself i will try to write a little bit every day, and there's been periods where that worked well enough for me, but tbh i write the best and most when i am daydreaming about a fic idea and get batshit possessed and fuel a Fixation. in those moments i am seized by insanity and sit down to write for about 4-6 hours straight in the dead of the night and manage several thousand words in one sitting. the record is 10k for DSD pt1 in like a day, and when i wrote the 90k fic that is WBIO in like 3 weeks off the high of not having any responsibilities in early lockdown (incl almost 20k in one sitting)

So kind of a mix.... When I have more free periods of the year i tell myself *trying* to stick to a schedule is good, like "ok i should go TRY to write at least a little every day, and if it doesn't work and im not feeling it today that's fine" but I can't lie, most of what I put out is the product of a feverish manic haze. Where i daydreamed too hard about a fic idea and accidentally came up with the whole plot and exact dialogue lines and need to bullet point it immediately before I forget it all. I am tormented by visions

(8) what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it? Constructive criticism: not exactly a fan unless I ask for it lol, just bc I think it's kinda rude to offer constructive criticism unless it's asked for? So I already automatically feel a lil cornered. I spent a year as an art major bringing paintings in for concrit sessions, I can take it, but that feels like a facilitated environment where I knew I was opening myself up to hear things so I could improve..... however, I'm not super interested in 'improving' writing beyond naturally improving by doing it.... bc it's just a hobby if that makes sense? I'm also usually super aware of how/where one of my fics is weak (example: i Know my worldbuilding and side characters and settings are not the most fleshed out, that I usually only focus on the main pairing/conflict and let everything else be a cardboard cutout, RIP) and just didn't put the work in to improve it bc I want to have Fun doing this hobby and struggling with fixing weaknesses is not super fun. Yes i am very lazy but it's ok it's fanfiction posted for free not something I'm trying to publish ukno. I'm a perfectionist in other ways! It balances out

Important to note I define constructive criticism as like "it would have been better if you did x instead" and a lot of times in fanfiction that's just people's personal tastes. I do consider everything readers say to me! Like someone said they didn't think the side characters served any point in "folie à trois" and it's just me inserting my faves, I Considered that opinion. There's been times I consider feedback and changed how I continued in a story, like in TLG people said they wanted more Jimin pov/motives and I said hmmm yeah that's valid I'll do more of that. In the aforementioned case for Folie, I considered it and decided (1) no, they're there for jk to see that Everyone is a lil fucked up and (2) it's my fic i can put my kpop girlies in it if i want lol. So sometimes 'concrit' is really just someone saying 'what you wrote wasn't to my personal taste' and not actually anything to do with the quality of the story/plot/style whatever itself.

Feedback overall tho, I do always want to hear from readers!!??! How a story made them feel especially. Tbh , TLDR, I think it really depends on the tone.... My relationship to it is on a case by case basis..... like I'm fine hearing that a character/plot frustrated someone, that they disagree with a character's actions, etc.... because that's Conflict in the story and I think good writing makes the reader Feel something..... it really just depends on what is being offered? if something is obviously mean spirited (which I have gotten) or offering concrit without asking like telling me "btw this would have read better if you didn't write like a possessed failed poet" i'm like ok well i have no plans on improving that. I am down to clarify any points of confusion on a scene/character/etc but I will not be improving. Lol

I hope that makes sense sorry I rambled as always. I took one of my adhd meds for the first time in weeks and now I am tachycardic and overexplaining myself worse than usual. Thank u for the ask <3

[zeico]

6, 9, 17, 22!

Lmao guess who forgot about this ask game it was I.

Do you have any OCs without stories? Will you ever create one for them?

tbh not really I usually create characters FOR certain stories/games/dnd campaigns. Like I NEED to know the world I must reside in first before I can figure out what kinda character I wanna pilot. If like completely unknown I like... figure out an aspect of self I want to lean into and base them off that.

Favourite OC?

Lady Remilia Ghet. (I cant find a better pic rn lmao)

Left the underwater city of Surashka so she could have an amount of personal freedom away from Vampire Noble Bullshit. Then left an angel controlled Customer Service Hell to join up with the Astral Inquisition to join the main campaign. I love her so much.

What are some tropes and character dynamics found in your wips?

>Arcane and Divine casters bond over funerary rites. (NOT JUST ELDEN FIC ACTUALLY DND FIC HAS THIS TOO)

>Estranged noble background mage finds it difficult to talk about themself for various reasons. (See: Remilia, also my mtg oc zeico)

>OT3

>sparring as flirting

>Very composed character thats really Fight Happy (literally all 'me' characters)

What are all the “kinds” of writing/art you do? (short stories, poetry, screenplays, digital, painting, clay, etc.)

Uhhhh so I have a degree in painting. Mostly just been sketchingand scribbling in traditional mediums bc I SWEAR my tablet and pen are never fucking charged when I want to use them.

Also been writing fanfic to keep myself sane at work. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also been trying to sew myself more clothes but my machine's been busted for years so everything done by hand.... lately just pick up the needle to continue patching up that one top that got completely shredded by my washing machine (its still falling apart................)

[elliebear666]

Damn, so... I just read this and feel a little sick. About the world and myself. Was I like that in this situation?

The reason why myself: My ex was, what, 18 or 19 when we started kind of dating? I don't actually remember, and I was about 6 years older? She was a virgin. But that was the farthest thing from what I cared about.

I thought she was beautiful, and funny, and interesting, and had a dorky, anime weeb personality.

I would have fallen for her if she was my age or older. It was HER I loved, and nothing about her status as a virgin or her being younger than me.

Tbh, I almost didn't want to pursue her because she was younger but my god I was already getting obsessed like I always do... I tried to be a safe place for her to explore herself. She said she wanted me to take her virginity, so I did... I tried to be safe and warm and supportive and i never once pushed her to do anything she didn't want to do. I genuinely loved her...

But idk... did she view me as predatory? This haunts me. It does. I've talked about it in therapy a lot. My therapist doesn't think so, and neither does anyone else I've talked to at length about it...

But I truly and wholly loved her. Her personality, her silly quirks and her forgetting left from right because, everything that made her, her.

I love the person...

But, I completely understand how often the age gap situation can become predatory. I stated in a previous post that I thought it was frustrating that calling older men chasing younger women predatory was wrong.

And... baseline - I still agree. But if a man, or a woman, is chasing someone BECAUSE they are young? That's... that IS a big creepy tbh. It is predatory, most likely.

Because I never chase someone over their age, or their body count, I figure this is more universal than people assume.

But... maybe I'm absolutely wrong on this.

Maybe I'm just projecting and like... all these people are predatory? I just... idk. That doesn't FEEL like the truth?

Someone told me that being sexual with them in the hope that they'd like me was predatory. In his words, "Did you just throw sex at me to lure me into like you?" And the framing? I have languished over this. The thing about this scenario is that...

We were being sexual for a while, and flirtatious. I told him I liked him and we talked and he said we won't be sexual anymore because he didn't want to confuse me - was obsessing and hurt myself over this rejection. But then, a few months later, dude was flirting and being sexual again. So naturally I started getting obsessed again and I told him I loved him lmao and he was like "I was only sexual when I thought it wouldn't lead you on." Bullshit! You KNEW I liked you! You knew I said i needed distance or else I'd try to convince you to like me! I said I would have lmao and you introduced sex into our friendship and then tell me that, when I initiate and be sexual, because I like you AND hope that you like me too and will like me more once you get ro know me, be sexual with me...

And this is predatory? Fucking... idk. Is it? Idk. My therapist says I wasn't. I don't know though.

So... do I regret chasing my ex? Yes. I do. Even though I was madly in love with her, so deeply and wholly and obsessively... I shouldn't have. She was 6 years younger than me. Idk. So many people say that doesn't matter. And I don't think it does either. I mean, I know my feelings and my driving forces for wanting to be with her. She just so happened to also be a super jerk.

I hate myself sometimes. But like... idk, I loved her so fucking much. And I always will in some way, wishing she had been less mean and manipulative, and that I had been less possessive and jealous. Even if she was old and wrinkly lmao I would still love her, fifty years from now. And... now I'll never see her again.

Idk y'all. Got therapy on Thursday so I guess I'll rehash the same shit again

[v0r73x]

Holy fuck lmao this 1 sk¡tzo b¡tch has been hating since day 1 & its pretty fucking funny what happened today & how I might just use it to my advantage if possible.

FULL STOP - here's the full story lmfao

Day 1 - I meet a nice black man, gives me the ropes of the "new" city. Looks like a upstanding guy, and kinda cute. But like everyone else (unless they drink) he's doing down and uppers. Sad but it is what it is. I digress. So me, him and another chick were chilling at the front of the shelter. This crazy broad was screaming at us (jealous bcz she liked that black guy, no I didn't sleep with him. He was cute, and kind sure, but I'd rather have him sober and get to know him some. So no, if u were just nosey, it's not that) she was hollering at us something like (in a offensive tone) I'm not pregnant! Who said I was pregnant?! I took 2 pregnancy tests blah blah blah and I'm not pregnant. And then around that time I noticed she was talking about/to us, bcz he had replied something like "they weren't even talking to you" I thought/said "wait, I just got here I'm not talking about you for sure" she probably mumbled something and stopped. She lost

Another time I was speed walking. Now I can't remember it all bcz thats my alone time not to talk to ppl for more than 80-100 seconds total. I speedwalk past this broad with some dude right, and her sk¡tzo ass starts going off again. Going off about race and how she's born in 2000s and I'm a gross 80s or 90s baby, like that even means anything when you're sk¡tzo but ok b¡tch go off. Trying all that woke bullshit to try to make me mad, she just looked like a total joke. I kept walking.

TODAY I see this b¡tch again. And I'm now thinking she's scared of me? Lmao k, so I'm walking to the library and she sees me immediately going on her tough sk¡tzo rant "err I don't like you — something else trying to be rude yet sounding irrelevant to me - like all of it is but I just don't remember everything when she's irrelevant. She then says something like" you're just crying for attention" by that time I was close to passing her. AS SOON as I seen her, I looked her right in her ugly little fat eyes where SHE IMMEDIATELY FROWNED before looking DOWN IN Shame. Really? 😂

Oh and that cute guy 💁🏻‍♀️ ya he approached me of course, attention seeking who (online but so what? Everyone's anonymous here accept me, not a big deal. I'd share names if I REALLY wanted attention). So I'm hoping maybe one day I can just make her my b!tch 🤔 enough barely dominant energy will make her shut up, but I also think she's curious and will approach me, I won't respond unless she acts right too tho. I don't care to say a word.

Tbh I'm sure she yells at me all the time but I just don't pay attention to some crazy sk¡tzo that's so far away from me, barely in earshot when I'm talking to someone else, & all I hear is bickering blah blah blah. But I do think I've heard her b¡tch and complain often now that I think about it. Could it be about me? Not necessarily always but also who's to say really. She seemed super fucking pressed day 1 yknow, but who knows who else she hates and thinks she's tough with right.

No I don't care that it's rude to use a sk¡tzo broad as My b¡tch. She has the resources to get better, can take her meds, go to the ward whatever. She wants to talk shit and be intimated when I look her in the eyes? She kinda deserves to be My b¡tch one day. Like you were literally just talking sh¡t, I don't do much eye contact myself, but if I'm picking fights you might not wanna look away? Maybe if she's good quiet servant I'd help her get on meds tbh but she'd still be my b!tch 💁🏻‍♀️ and she would act right around me, my bitch or not I really don't fucking care. Now that I know, I will use it to my advantage. I can't wait for our next encounter 💞💕

Day 6 today