#tbh he would listen to it all...
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if chilchuck was a modern time dad then he would be blasting very loud rap music on the car radio
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no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#figueroth faeth#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#fh class quangle#my! class swap thing! I guess this is like the poster for it now#got overinvested and finished it properly instead of winging it lol#in closeup order: cleric!gorgug; bard!riz; rogue!fabian; sorcerer!kristen; barbarian!fig; artificer!adaine#this one does have the harpoon gun I'd give fabian during sophomore year but literally only figured out for this piece lol#I like how it looks tho Im glad I hashed it out#thinking abt power armor adaine a lot tbh... she has the transhumanist audacity. she's villain-adjacent enough#to attempt unspeakable acts of body improvement#(its funny bc to wear a rig like that would Also demand a certain level of physical strength from you)#also yeah this is the thing with riz holding a megaphone that got me considering#its fun! it fits the aesthetics! maybe it'd grant him range for bardics#maybe he gets to keep that Im just not sure how he'd carry it around lol#fig gets to have all of her makeup... I like almost never remember to draw it usually kdsjfhdjk listen. I just forgor#I always forget makeup is real#also dont ask me what's in kristen's thermos it Is usually tea but you truly never know#sometimes its soup. it can be lighter fluid. soap perhaps. hot chocolate#also if u come knocking on my door abt kristen's somatic in this piece: I wont be home#she gets to be gross especially bc shes funny and 17yo and gay. we give it to her#okay I. whoo I should lay down. finally I can move on to other things#cheers! wahoo. yahha perhaps
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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truly what a guy
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#arthur malevolent#john doe#john malevolent#my art#ahfdgfghsdd i have so many important things to do but these two have overtaken all of my waking thoughts so i'm fucked to say the least#adgfd i just wanna talk about them with someone but no one i know has the energy for that 12h long infodump#straight up today was my first truly no work day in a few weeks and what did i do? spent half the day figuring out how i want to draw arthur#still not sure if this the direction i wanna take his design in but somehow along the process he ended up as like my ideal look on masc days#tbh i don't have the time to unpack whatever that says about me ywy#john's design is very much still a first draft but i can't think about it too much or i might just actually go insane#this podcast makes me unwell(affectionate)#the universe is so evil for not letting me just draw them all day long ywy#in an ideal world it would be no diploma no uni applications only malevolent#.....i'm gonna stop with the rambling now#so yeah go listen to malevolent
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Honestly I feel for Sam but serves him right.
Even if we ignore the potential intermingling of the web or any other other spooky strings that are likely being pulled, there's a lot to unpack here.
I wouldn't say Sam "deserved" it, but Alice tried warning him for months. This is what he gets for sticking his nose in places it didn't belong.
Did I say the same thing about Jon in TMA? Yes and no. Obviously there isn't a story without someone doing something dumb, but I think Jon's situation and Sam's situation are a little different. Jon was an idiot, yes, but he (and everyone else around him) were forced to go in completely blind. He had no idea what he was doing and didn't have any warnings or help at all except from his creepy boss with ulterior motives.
Sam also went in blind, but he was warned several times by several people including the eldritch computer to stop and turn around. He could have avoided this if he just returned Alice's calls or looked at her messages.
But nooooo he had to poke around with his little crushy crush and get himself thrown into a portal to what we can only assume is the TMA universe. Serves him right.
#i have a lot of feelings about this if you couldn't tell#sam you little idiot#in many ways i get it#both from a personal standpoint AND from a writer's standpoint#he thought alice was being overbearing and blah blah blah i've said this before#i personally also hate overbearing people who helecopter me#BUT#there are a lot of moments where even i would have listened to alice's warnings#sam is a cave explorer in this scenario tbh#and he just got himself stuck in a tiny hole underground#because he didn't listen when someone more experienced said “dont be stupid”#its not a great analogy but its all ive got because youtube loves to show me that stuff apparently#👎#anyways i had more thoughts but ive ranted enough#im gonna stop yapping now#the magnus protocol#tmagp ep 30#tmagp spoilers#tmagp#jonathan sims#tmagp sam i still forgot his last name#alice dyer#celia ripley#the tags always give me the characters last names idk why i cant find sam's </3#to the person who gave me his name i owe you my life#samama khalid
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i see a lot of debate on komaeda’s music taste, and i want you all to consider a komaeda that exclusively listens to classical music.
he doesn’t know what’s popular or mainstream, you pass him the aux chord and he starts playing shostakovich like it’s lady gaga. bed time? he puts on his night gown and cap and starts blasting prokofiev’s dance of the knights. class 77-b throws a party and everyone knows that komaeda added a song to the playlist because coriolan overture starts playing in the middle of rave music and he’s giggling and clapping his hands talking about how it represents despair vs hope
#he’s not normal about listening to it and that’s the important part#tbh nobody that actually listens to classical music is normal about it in the first place#but on a more serious note i do think he would find it very calming and be fascinated at all the emotions expressed through it#nagito komaeda#danganronpa#sdr2#rachmaninoff and ravel specifically remind me of him do you guys get it#txt
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Comparing Mechs fans spotify wrapped with others shows us scientifically that we're something else
A friend of mine is in the top 0.05% of Sleeping At Last (almost 8mio monthly listeners) with 7.4k minutes
I'm just in the top 0.5% of the Mechanisms (36k monthly listeners) with 9.3k minutes
This means that you needed less minutes to be a way higher listener of an artist with 205 times as many listeners.
So there aren't many of us, but I can almost guarantee that not a single one of us is even remotely normal.
#The mechanisms#This is extra funny to me considering that sleeping at last used to be MY top artist#I was in his top 1 % every year until now#And like#The reason for that is that he has the atlas saga which while not as musical y as the mechanisms tell a more or less cohesive narrative#That is way longer than the mechs albums#So it's also a musician that i can listen to from start to finish for days on end#It's almost A trade mark of mine to include a sleeping at last song in all my Playlists#But the mechanisms is just a different kind of brain rot#I will stop with Spotify wrapped posts about the mechanisms soon I promise#It's just so fascinating for me#I wonder if the mechs still get a Spotify wrapped for artists bc I would loooove to see it#Considering sending Kofi an ask tbh
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a deep blood moon, a starless night
dark enough to see the light
#something something he has the title of prince yet is treated like a commoner#callum holds a prestigious ranking due to his mother's marriage yet he is not the hier to the throne#im sure canonically he literally cannot care less specifically#but i like to think it factors into his struggles with finding himself#and his purpose in the world#this is a “we love ezran” household#but i cant help feeling callum has the vibes of a middle child despite being the oldest#while ezran is both oldest and youngest. burden of the crown yet still a child#the title of high mage gives callum his own kind of recognition#but it doesn't separate him from the title of prince#he's the first human mage to do primal magic yet only his inner circle recognizes how big of a feat that is#something something having a strong mind and heart with an untapped thirst for knowledge#everyone forgets about him so it gives him time to research all he needs#this was originally inspired by the vibes of “red moon” by will wood#puts my callum would listen to will wood if he existed in xadia badge#probs ¡Akido! (Neurotic / Erotic)#Williard!#Against the Kitchen Floor#and White Noise#in case i make it is a callum album overall tbh#late night ramblings#tdp#callum tdp#tdp fanart#the dragon prince fanart#the dragon prince callum fanart#the dragon prince#my fanart#my art#bobasalt
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honestly happily surprised; I ran for 20mins straight ! I think that’s the longest continous stretch I’ve ran as an adult ever !! Like usually my warm up is 10mins straight so that was a double today!
#I think I could’ve gone longer but it’s leg day so didn’t wanna push it too far bc then the rest of the workout would suck#it was on the treadmill tho yeah so obv a lot easier than running outside#but still was nice#maybe being a little scared for ur safety truly is the best preworkout lmao#(I walked to the gym at around 4am & some (drunk) dude ahead of me kept stopping & turning to look at me and wait but I switched#to the other side of the street and I don’t think he noticed bc on the next time he turned he kept looking around like confused (dude was#out of it) so it was all good just a little bit like do I turn around or keep going situation)#(bc he might’ve just been on other things & paranoid tbh)#anyways not a big deal the point was that I got some adrenaline and boii did that make the running so easy#maybe I should always listen to some idk horror things before/while running#maybe that ’’zombies run’’ app was onto something#march 2024#2024
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Technically I could freak out about the possibility of Eddie calling Buck ‘brother’ in the hand to shoulder still of the new ep BUT im choosing to think that if it does happen, it could lead to Buck’s big big biggg ‘oh, that doesn’t- doesn’t feel right’ moment
#which is overdue tbh#bc Eddie already had his at the graveyard#didn’t I make an entire post about how the only reason Eddie dated Marisol was bc Buck was dating Natalia#bc listen that man said we know it never works out (with people they rescue) so WHY THE FUCK#why the FUCK would he go against his own damn advice wasn’t it bc he was in pain and petty and#and Buck was dating this new woman who apparently saw him better than Eddie did#even tho we all know that’s not true????#anyway#buddie#911 fox#911#911 tv show#eddie diaz#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#buck x eddie#911 abc#buck and eddie#911 spoilers#911 on abc#911 season 7#911 season seven
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Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.
Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks
Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.
And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.
So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.
He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.
Caelus doesn't have any of that.
He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.
And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.
So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-
("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")
-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.
Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.
(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)
((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."
And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.
And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.
The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))
#caelus#sampo koski#hsr caelus#hsr sampo#sampo & caelus#honkai star rail#hsr#my fics#me a few days ago: my favorite silly little guys uwu#me today: ANGST#honestly I feel like this isn't even a super strong angst though#it's more just. bittersweet? melancholic? something.#I JUST. REALLY LOVE STORIES ABOUT THE NATURE OF GRIEF#and 2.0 laid the groundwork for that beautifully woohoo#I just remembered this probably isn't common knowledge oops but April is the cute red haired girl in Funny Bone#her name was revealed by the creators on twitter. she's named April like April Fools!#anyway I ship it hardcore now thanks bucket boi & studio#but anyway yes I love and adore the loneliness of the trailblazer's loss and grief after 2.0#because we know from Sunday that Firefly is “spiritually dead” but the trailblazer wouldn't have that knowledge#and they wouldn't know her identity or about any of her connections to other people#and I love that juxtaposed against Sampo and the possible strange nature of his own grief-#-given how the Masked Fools operate and how they see Elation in everything and everywhere#Sampo is no saint- like at all lol- but I do like him and Caelus getting along and being bros#and I don't think it would be terribly ooc for him to care about someone he sees as a genuine friend#he maybe rarely considers someone a genuine friend. but still dmxjjdjdk#listening to Sam's boss theme as I tag this... have been listening to it a lot ever since I finished 2.0 tbh#it's probably what inspired a lot of this haha#because it does sound strong and intimidating and imposing#but you can hear it#the heartbreak
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@mokozroach
This is for you.
HC TIME
Whatever Hush is I don't think he needs to sleep.
But if he DOES sleep , he has his eyes open.
Mans favorite sleeping position just so happens to be facing Doc.
Funny enough, Doc has crazy insomnia. The kind where they wake up every 5 fucking seconds for no reason. So for a split minute they wake up and BAM O-O big eyes staring straight at them and they LITERALLY KNOCK THE FUCK OUT so quickly and that's the only time they get good sleep.
Also I think Hush loathes the feelings of socks. "They constrict too much I need to be free" which means he also doesn't really fw pants unless they're like joggers or some shit.
Doc also doesn't fw tight clothes too much so they always buy their clothes 2 sizes bigger.
Hush found out what Oreos were and never went a day without them.
Doc coincidentally hates them.
Doc is a dog Person, Hush is a cat person.
Cats are attracted to Doc, Dogs are attracted to Hush. It's very interesting and pisses them both smooth off.
#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted asmr#redacted doc#redacted hush#this is all my brain could fit tbh#I love these two dearly but my brain is just like hush would never do that in his life#and I have to listen#but also he would#shut up
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big question!! dude can we please see a scene in the AU where castys has his tongue cut off and he has to deal with that? like man, the shock and the pain and the fuckin grief? and neteri just being herself ofc
anyway the latest erebus chapter was heartbreaking you’re so good at being awful to these lads (i can’t stop reading)
Thank you I try,,,,,
Okay strap in fellas I think this is banger as hell I had a great time and let me know if you have any other requests for the AU!
Castys & Terror AU Masterlist - Castys Masterlist - Next→
Ingredients: shockingly, tongue gets cut off! some suffocation as well
Castys wasn’t great at sitting in chairs normally, something his parents had always reprimanded him for, but, hey, they’d never taken it as far as to fucking tie him to one, and Castys was grateful. This shit was uncomfortable. Like, yeah, the rough ropes around his wrists and ankles were tight and itchy, but also the position just sucked. Not that he’d rather be standing or something-
“You must be Castys!” The door had swung open, and now this little lady with a white coat on was walking up to him.
“Yes, I’m Castys,” he said flatly as she scurried behind him before coming back without her bag. And then she just…stared at him. Castys wasn’t sure what she was looking at, since there really wasn’t much to see, just, like, him. Eventually her eyes wandered up to his, and she jumped in place a bit.
“Oh, right, I’m Neteri.” She stuck her hand out like she expected him to shake it.
“You know I’m tied up, right?”
“Ah. Yeah.” Her skin was dark enough that it wasn’t immediately obvious that she was blushing, but Castys was pretty sure she was. She ended up awkwardly grabbing his right hand and shaking it a bit. “I, um, I’ll be preparing you for this afternoon. Sorry, I’m just a bit nervous.”
“Well, you’re not tied to a chair so I think you’ll be okay.”
She laughed. “You’re right, you’re right, but I’m just…I think I’m going to do something I’m not supposed to do.”
Castys raised an eyebrow. “Let me go because I’m funny?”
Neteri rolled her eyes, but she was smiling, so clearly she did think he was funny. “No, you’re staying put, sorry bud. But I think I’m going to keep you. You’re kind of perfect.” She tried to cup his cheek in her hand, but Castys leaned away, staring at her with wide eyes.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” His mouth was really dry all of a sudden, he wasn’t perfect, he was a fuck-up, a useless heir, that had been his goal, he wasn’t good at anything he was supposed to be good at, he wasn’t well-mannered or polite, he had a huge fucking scar on his face and a lopsided smile because of it, he was filthy and vulgar and didn’t have any interest in getting married he was absolutely anything but perfect. So why the hell did she want him?
“It’s not important right now. You’ve got a big day ahead of you!” She clapped her hands, dismissing the subject entirely. He wanted to press her further, but after seeing the lovely object she pulled out of her pocket, everything else was forgotten.
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Aw, what are you gonna do about it, Castys? I thought you were tied to a chair!” Great, now it was his turn to feel his face grow hot, because, yeah, what the fuck was he gonna do?
Normally, he doubted he’d immediately recognize it for what it was, but today, right now, after just being told this lady wanted to keep him, it was instantly clear. And Neteri was right, he was only able to squirm uselessly and lean away as she wrapped the collar around his neck without much trouble. His first swallow after she’d sealed it shut felt horrible, and he absolutely did not want to get used to it.
“See, it’s not so bad. It looks cute on you!” She ruffled his hair, which only made Castys more uncomfortable.
“I don’t want to be cute. I’m not a fucking dog.” He wasn’t sure whether the collar was part of Neteri’s weird desires or just to humiliate him, but either way he hated it.
“No, you’re not, but you’re also not a prince anymore, and you’re the property of the Xernan Empire, and this is a good reminder of that,” Neteri said as she walked around behind him, probably to her bag. Castys rolled his eyes. He didn’t need to be reminded that he wasn’t a prince, since it was his favorite new development in all of this. Unless…unless it wasn’t just a reminder for him, but for everyone else, too…He really, really hoped there wasn’t going to be some sort of public display, but given how Neteri’d said he had a “big day” ahead…fuck, that was probably the case, huh?
“Now, I’m going to…oh, I might get in so much trouble for this,” Neteri muttered as she stared at the floor, standing in front of him once again. She had leather gloves on, which would have been nice earlier when she was touching him, and she was holding…a pair of shears? He didn’t think she’d put on gloves if she was just going to cut his hair, and given that she thought she might get in trouble for it, it seemed like she was going to…maim him somehow. Castys curled his hands into fists as Neteri slapped her cheeks with her palms, still talking to herself. “No, I’m going to do this. I deserve it. It’s not that far off from what the emperor wants. Okay,” she held the shears up and gave Castys a concerningly bright smile. “Any last words?”
For once, Castys didn’t take the opportunity to speak.
Instead, he locked his jaw shut tight, teeth clenched so hard it hurt, lips pressed together, walls of protection around his tongue.
That’s what she wanted, wasn’t it?
Neteri cocked her head, watching him. “Nothing to say all of a sudden? No jokes?” Her smile disappeared as her eyes narrowed. “You figured it out, didn’t you, Castys? What I’m going to do to you.”
He didn’t bother nodding.
Neteri stepped up to him, her knee on the chair in between his legs, leaning over him, her face right above his as he craned back to avoid her. “You’re going to have to get used to obeying me, Castys.” The cold metal of the shears rested on his cheek. “So open your mouth.”
If there’s one thing Castys was good at, it was disobeying orders.
After a few moments of neither of them moving, Neteri pinched Castys’s nose shut with her free hand, not saying a word. Fine, he could play that game. Hold on as the pressure in his chest built, as his head started to spin, as his vision started to darken, every fiber of his being screaming at him to just give in to the inevitable and take a breath. He could do it quick, a little gasp, fast enough that she wouldn’t be able to do anything. Okay, three, two…
The exhale was shaky, but it was fine, just a quick inhale as he snapped his mouth shut-
His teeth scraped against metal, the sensation sending shivers down his spine.
Neteri stared at him with a detached coldness as she rotated the shears, forcing his jaw open wide, wide enough for her to stick her hand in and grab his tongue, pulling it out despite his attempts to pull it back, turning the shears to the side now, opening them up, the cold blades-
Snip.
Castys’s mouth was hot it was burning he was choking the smell of blood was so strong he was suffocating on it her hand was still in his mouth her fingers pressed against his wound magic piercing through his jaw he’d scream if he had the air and then that was it her hand was gone he lurched forward coughing and spitting blood and saliva all down the front of the threadbare shirt he’d been given and once he saw the discarded little piece of pink flesh on the floor he couldn’t look at anything else he couldn’t believe that was it it was gone it wasn’t in his mouth his mouth was empty there was only the blood still dripping out and when Neteri laid a hand on his back he wanted to growl at her not to touch him but he couldn’t he couldn’t say anything anymore he was quiet nothing to say no thoughts or opinions of his own just how his parents had wanted him-
“It’s alright, Castys, just breathe. It was a little more difficult than it needed to be, but you did it.” And why did it need to be at all? “Just two more things left today and then you can rest. And then hopefully…” Her hand slid up, resting on the back of his neck, on that awful collar, and Castys wanted to scream. He never, ever wanted to belong to her.
But what he wanted didn’t matter anymore.
Castys was dragged out and whipped and branded and left out on display, brought back and patched up by Neteri and given soup that he couldn’t taste, and when the door slammed shut behind her, he finally allowed himself to cry.
His back and chest hurt, of course, the wounds aggravated no matter how he moved or what position he laid in, but he could deal with it. It was nothing compared to what he’d lost, the little pocket of empty space inside his mouth.
Words were all he’d ever have to really fight back, complaining when he was forced to do things he didn’t want to, scaring off all the suitors his parents picked out, jokes keeping him calm when he was scared or upset, even when he couldn’t do anything he could still say something, make sure everyone knew how he felt, and now he was more helpless than ever before and he couldn’t say a single fucking thing.
He didn’t even know where he was going to end up, either sold off to some asshole or left in Neteri’s clutches, and no matter what, he wasn’t going to be treated like a person. The collar made it pretty clear. He was less than human now, a pet, a lab rat, property, something that didn’t need to have thoughts or opinions anymore.
He’d rather be a prince after all.
Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump @blackrosesandwhump @fanmanga1357-blog @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi
@hearse-song @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen @galaxywhump
@starnight-whump @his-unspoken-words @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg @pumpkin-spice-whump
@painsandconfusion @i-can-even-burn-salad @befuddled-calico-whump @whumpinggrounds @whump-queen
@whumpedydump
#i wrote something#whump-in-the-closet#thanks troy this was super fun!#castys & terror au#castys#neteri#whump#tongue whump#the best part about writing this was i just copy pasted some of neteri's dialogue and actions from e&t ch2 lmao#i missed writing her tho fuck :(#i know it's my own fault but still (┬┬﹏┬┬) my girl#and then castys is easy as fuck to write yippee#by the time wick asked me about him getting his hair cut i had already written the beginning of this#and i didnt really know how to work it in 😔 so just know that if he had longer hair and it got cut it would have made him very happy#and probably lulled him into a bit of a false sense of security#castys deserves a collar at all times tbh he is a feral animal and i need to pull him around by the neck#plus he looks soooo good with one on especially if it's red (it's black here tho 😔)#god neteri being threatening to him is so sexy#and then no more tongue HAH HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT MISTER STUPID COMEBACKS#NOBODY WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU#just be a good little test subject from now on (he won't)
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does anyone want to join me on the aventurine/argenti train. it's got all the perks of being as funny as any other argenti ship - especially given the random absurdity of their first meeting. what the hell was argenti doing in the depths of the nihility? who even knows anymore man. but like also i think it has the potential to be really sweet?
aventurine hasn't let anyone In since his sister died. he's long since forgotten how to Trust, and Love, and how to BE Loved. and this, combined with enormous amounts of survivor's guilt and trauma and being treated as an object, has really done a number on his self-esteem. he doesn't act like it (because he's learned that it's dangerous to be vulnerable; it's the one gamble he's not willing to take), but 2.1 gave us that glimpse into his inner dialogue and it is Bad in there
between his conversation with acheron, the note veritas left for him, and finding a sense of closure in the apparition of his younger self, he's on track to becoming better. we can see it in the way he pretty much immediately reaches out to the trailblazer to get some things off his chest once he gets his phone working again. and the way he's accepting what is basically a form of therapy from the doctors of chaos. but his self-hatred has been building up for years, and it's going to take a long time to unpack and unlearn all of that
so like, in comes argenti, right? he's a loud show-off, but he is SO earnest. he sees the beauty in everything and everyone. he's kind, and gentle, and so full of love. he also comes off as a bit... lonely to me? he's spent so much of his life chasing after idrila's shadow, and only catching a glimpse of them in his many near-death experiences (and isn't that something to think about...........). he's not like, secretly miserable or faking or anything - i think his exuberance is 1000% genuine. but humans are social creatures; everyone wants and requires at least some form of closeness and intimacy. to have a love to pursue in This realm... someone he can see and hold without needing to have one foot in an early grave . i think that would be good for him. that's all
anyway, it's clear that argenti was pretty enchanted by aventurine
like yeah that's kind of just how he talks normally but !?@,%&#& that's a lot of awfully romantic things to say about one specific person out of the several you apparently rescued (??????? god i love this guy he makes no sense. literally why are you even here bud). it seems that aventurine's more subdued state left an impression on him too, and well wouldn't it be pretty in character for him to start popping in randomly... as he does, because he can apparently just go wherever the fuck he wants. to check on this sad yet oh so beautiful peacock.. to try to bring a true smile to his face... to show him how kind and beautiful the universe can be......
i think aventurine might have a hard time laughing off offers of comfort and company and the beginnings of a courtship if it comes from someone like argenti. this man couldn't be disingenuous if he tried. he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve as much as he rips it out of his chest to show you. it'll be a learning curve regardless - aventurine is too used to needing to constantly prove his worth to keep anyone around and to keep them from hurting him
but do you see it. do you see the vision. do you see how Sweet this could be. aventurine is about to receive more roses than he'll know what to do with
#i spent enough time on this that i think i can...#honkai star rail#argenti#aventurine#aventi... argenturinenope i hate this one actually#avegenti. dude i don't know don't ask me i'm just the messenger#like can i just say that what most ratiorine shippers are trying to squeeze out of that would be better found Here.#i don't mind the ship as much as i used to. veritas is kinder than i gave him credit for. i can even enjoy it if done right#but like#? veritas may be kinder than i originally thought but he's not that kind.#he's harsh truths and tough love. he started to soften after aventurine's unexpected death sentence and he has the potential to soften more#but guys i don't think a ratiorine relationship that takes place so soon after the events of penacony or god forbid BEFORE-#is going to go that smoothly#veritas has his head pretty deep in his own ass. it's going to take him a bit to get that out#he's more likely to hurt aventurine and send him right back into his defensive shell than he is to actually help him along his recovery#and/or aventurine is likely to dismiss any of his attempts to be more forthcoming with his feelings because of his perceived dislike for hi#and just how their working relationship always was Before#if you want to talk about that and the messy struggle to be better for each other after they stomp all over the other's heart#i'm all ears man.#but if you want something that's softer from start to finish and not so stressful... listen to me. argenti and aventurine is where that's a#i think both options are appealing tbh? in their own ways
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i cannot stop thinking about anissa and marky though [COMIC SPOILERS]
how did he react when he learned what his mother did? just like mark, he lived a lie. he thought his mother was kind and nice — the only thing that is true is that she loved him, but now, he has no idea if he should believe it
and. you've grown up being conditioned to believe that violence is peace, and that kindness is a lie and a weakness. you hurt people. by hurting a person, by destroying him irreparably, you found the boy you love most: your son. and you don't regret it. you hope one day, once he sees him, he'll get it. but you still don't regret it. you can't say you're sorry
marky will grow up without his biological father, because when mark hugs him he can only remember his mother and what she did to him. your father can't love you the way your mom did. you can't love your mother the way your father loved his
the worst part is, that it she hadn't done it, you wouldn't have existed. you wouldn't be here. your father will grow to love you. you will grow to accept each other. but you tend to wonder — if he never sees you as anything else other than your mother's son, then who will you have when everyone else you know dies?
#i hate anissa but also her character was done so well#like i hate her#fuck her#but jesus christ.#wow#i feel so bad for marky honestly#when anissa said “i don't regret it. tell him. tell him he'll understand when he sees him”#that shit hurt me#that was the WORST time for you to die girl#i was like “idc about anissa thank fuck she died” but then#i put myself in marky's place. and WOWWW#you gotta be strong to deam with that#YOU GOTTA BE STRONG TO BE ANY INVINCIBLE TBH#LIKE WOW.#thinking about mark now#imagine learning that the person who hurt you the most is a better person now#and that means she regrets kt#but then you learn right after her death that she does not regret it at all#you don't even get to hear an “i'm sorry”. not that you'd have listened to it#then you learn she had a son. with you. named AFTER YOU#honestly i can't blame him for allowing things to be THAT awkward w marky#i am so glad the reconciled tho I don't think I'd be able to live if mark's son hated him#tw sa mention#invincible#invincible comic#comic spoilers#marky grayson#anissa invincible#mark grayson#b4 anyone gets this wrong: I DO NOT SUPPORT WHAT ANISSA DID. it's just that marky's relationship w her is smth i would love to see explored
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i know chase obviously wins the religious trauma competition but can we please talk about how foreman was not only raised by a deeply religious father, but was most likely raised BAPTIST. no wonder he’s so repressed. the baptist experience is like. you’re in church every sunday listening to a man scream about how love is something that should hurt. you believe in a good, loving god - but to believe, you have to accept that true love is painful. that to be a good person, you must suffer. to love is to endure it, to work mercilessly. you’re not worthy of the love of The Almighty, and you never will be, and that sense of unworthiness is fundamental to having faith. when you sin, you don’t just hurt Him, you hurt everyone around you. you make the world worse because you have dared commit the sin of existence — to be human is to be sinful. to be loved is to feel unworthy and pathetic and hopeless. like YEAH no wonder foreman self isolates and is emotionally closed off. he was taught from BIRTH that he is fundamentally unworthy of love, and that in accepting love, he is also accepting that he truly is worthless.
#also#i really cant stress enough to non-americans that foreman being black would seriously have had an impact on his relationship with religion#christian ideals are baked into the way racial justice is thought about in the blm movement of today#christianity is also by and large more significant to black americans than it is to white americans because of this#because race and religion are really intertwined#and idk its not. the MOST important aspect of foreman’s character or anything#but i think it’s a lot harder to Get him if u don’t have that cultural knowledge which most americans will inherently understand#also disclaimer im not black. never been to a black church so obviously i cant speak to that experience#however i did go to a baptist school growing up and they REALLY emphasized that i should be ashamed of being alive#obviously this is all me theorizing bc foreman could be some other flavor of protestantism#they’re all varying levels of traumatic tbh#if he was episcopal he probably was listening to people speaking tongues in church which just. yeah. that also really fucks u up#house md#eric foreman#house md hc#house md headcanon#dr foreman
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