#tangent but ​something really frustrating to me is that a lot of people came away from the dlc thinking

[blasphemousclaw]

What are your thoughts on Romina? Was she a Hornsent? We actually do see her in that story trailer without obvious horns.

I think Romina is indeed hornsent… when the story trailer is depicting the burning of hornsent lands, we see her holding the bud that became her weapon with her church burning around her:

the Church of the Bud is built in the same style as other hornsent architecture:

(Theatre of the Divine Beast, Divine Bird Warrior Ornis temple)

the Church of the Bud was not originally dedicated to the scarlet rot:

“There was a time when these buds were not touched by the scarlet rot's blight—when they were the symbol of the small church deep in the ancient ruins of Rauh.” (Scarlet Bud)

I think the church used to be dedicated to hornsent spirituality, as it overlooks Enir-Ilim and is located deep within the Ancient Ruins of Rauh, which was a very important place to the hornsent because it was perhaps the origin of the Crucible itself:

“It is said Devonia quested in search of the Crucible's origin, and departed from the lands of the Erdtree alone.” (Crucible Hammer-Helm)

“A record of crafting techniques left by the hornsent academics who studied the ancient ruins of Rauh.” (Antiquity Scholar’s Cookbook)

we find Devonia in the Ancient Ruins of Rauh, and the hornsent (who revered the Crucible above all) studied the place, so I think it’s fair to say that Rauh is the origin of the Crucible! I think it’s possible that the Church of the Bud might have originally been involved in Crucible worship!

the co-op summoning pools seem to confirm the Ancient Ruins of Rauh as a hornsent stronghold, because they are listed under the “Land of the Tower:”

there’s also some cute inquisitors near the Church of the Bud praying to the Tower:

and of course, there’s the deathblight Divine Beast Dancing Lion in the middle of Rauh!

so basically, it makes sense that the Church of the Bud was targeted by the Crusade… it’s a hornsent church involved in hornsent spirituality. Romina herself is most likely hornsent too; it isn’t super clear if she had horns or not under her hood in the trailer, but if she doesn’t, that doesn’t mean she can’t be hornsent. at the very least, she was involved in hornsent religious practices!

Romina also has cut voice lines! (at 0:31 in the video) she says, “Children of the Tower; butterflies take wing.” we don’t know the context, but “the Tower” obviously refers to the hornsent, so Romina is calling upon the hornsent here, which I think further suggests she was one of them!

[bone-shaped-shadows]

Jesper finds out about Wylan’s true identity- Show Version fic

Jesper wanted to roll his eyes as Kaz went on and on about their newest heist. Sometimes that man could really go off on a tangent in the name of dramatics, saying a whole lot without saying much at all.

Jesper knew he should be paying better attention to Kaz but as the man droned on, he shrugged off the thought, choosing instead to play with Wylan’s fingers.

Besides, he was listening for the key points and knew his favorite partner in crime would fill him in on any details he had missed.

Wylan would tease him gently for it as he did so but Jesper didn’t mind, delighted by Wylan’s dazzling memory as he would recite word for word what Kaz had said when Jesper found it difficult to focus.

He smiled, not caring how besotted he must look, as his thumb brushed over the ring he had given Wylan in order to track him during a previous heist and then had refused to take back, enjoying the weight of it whenever they held hands and having an easy way to pick him out in a crowd, especially in instances where he had gotten lost amongst people taller than him, Jesper thought with a gentle smirk.

Wylan lightly pinched him and he wasn’t sure if it was because he was distracted or because he somehow knew what Jesper was thinking.

Suddenly he came back to himself as Kaz paused in his speech to loom over the others, who were all sitting down, “Meet Wylan Van Eck… Jan Van Eck’s son and our guarantee on thirty million kruge.”

Kaz had an almost wild look in his eye and he spoke somewhere harshly as he smirked down at Wylan, asking a question Jesper hadn’t even register Nina asking, “He can’t double cross us if we have his firstborn as collateral.”

Jesper saw Wylan flinch out of the corner of eye and frowned as Wylan dropped his hand like he was burned.

“Look, Kaz I don’t know what’s going on here but-”

“No, you don’t know.” Kaz said, but as he stared down at the youngest Crow, who shoulder’s started to shake slightly, his tone softened, very very slightly.

Wylan gripped the fabric of his pants tightly, clearly trying to regulate his breathing, and refusing to look up at Kaz or sideways, despite Jesper trying to catch his eye.

He was sure he had an interesting mix of confusion and frustration flittering across his face but he tried to force a neutral expression despite some anger building in his chest.

Now was not the time, despite how he might feel about it, his focus on Wylan who looked like he was beginning to dissociate.

“It won’t work, I’m not leverage, I’m a liability.” He said softly, almost off-handedly.

Kaz opened his mouth, but Wylan cut him off, “I can’t guarantee you anything, unfortunately, much less thirty million kruge. See, I’m no Allby Rollins, Kaz, my father will not beg for me. If you attempt to use me as leverage all you will be doing is serving him a second chance to kill me on a silver platter and he will gladly take it,” Wylan laughed mournfully.

Suddenly Wylan forced himself to stand, eyes blazing, “Might even use his own hands, this time, really make sure it sticks.” Wylan spat out and then turned heel, bolting away from everyone else in the room.

Jesper’s eyes trailed after him and he expected… for something, anything. For Wylan to look, or even just glance, at him. For him to head up the stairs to their room, for Wylan to call out to Jesper or hold out a hand, a silent request for comfort - any proof that the two of them were a team, that he trusted Jesper to be on his side, always, even amongst their crew.

But Jesper watched, with a awful heavy feeling in his chest, as Wylan did none of those things.

Instead the younger man threw open the door to the Crow Club and ran out into the shadows of night.

By the time Jesper shook off the shock, and ran after him, Wylan was already long out of sight.

Jesper wasn’t sure how to feel about everything that had just happened.

He felt bitter about Wylan keeping this secret, when the other had felt so strongly about Jesper’s own secrets…

He paced their room, waiting for Wylan to return.

Why had Wylan kept this from him? Had he said something that made the other feel insecure? Did he not trust him with this specifically or did Wylan think him entirely untrustworthy of his secrets?

Kaz knew everything about everyone in the barrel and kept everything close to his chest. It drove Jesper up a wall but he had come to expect it and accept it.

But Wylan… Wylan and him were suppose to be partners, they were suppose to trust and support each other.

Why hadn’t he trusted him?

Jesper threw himself on their bed and threw his arm over his face, resigning himself to wait, questions echoing in the silence, until Wylan came back to him.

When Wylan failed to return home that night, or by morning Jesper, Kaz, and Nina split off to search for him.

Jesper tried not to drown in the feelings that quickly built up and choked him when he found the ring he had given Wylan hidden in his wear-house.

He looked at Nina hopefully, as she returned shortly after him, but she shook her head sadly, unable to find him or get a read on his heartbeat.

She held out her hand and Jesper took it, and the comfort she offered, “We’ll find him. We’ll bring him back, talk it all out, even if I have to drag him back by the nape of his shirt myself.”

He nodded, then gave her a half smile, “I think it’s my shirt actually.”

She snorted, “At this point? I don’t think you can claim that any more.”

He chuckled softly but said nothing else.

When Kaz returned and all of the obvious spots, the wear-house, the waffle place Nina had gotten them all hooked on, the one music shop they all knew he he loved to visit despite being a bit out of the barrels, failed to yeld results, Kaz grimaced.

Jesper and Nina followed him up to his office and watched with careful eyes as their boss opened one of his many safes and pulled out a list written in Inej’s handwriting as well as a stack of letters with blank envelopes.

Kaz glanced over the list before seemingly deciding something without bothering to get any input from the others.

He stuffed the list in his pocket and gestured for the others to follow him.

Jesper bit his tongue, determined not to yell at Kaz until Wylan was back with them safe and sound.

Kaz and Nina silently followed him to a dock on the fifth harbor where Wylan sat, and watched as Kaz dropped the stack of letters in his lap.

Wylan glared at them like he could set them on fire that way and pull one out from under the twine holding them together. He held it between his finger tips as if it had traces of posion on it.

He then held it up to Kaz, without looking at him.

Kaz opened it.

“What does it say?” Wylan asked, his tone completely devoid of any emotion, “What did he write that made you believe he cared about me? That I was worth anything to him?”

Kaz lifted a brow at him but proceeded to read off some of the letter, “If you’re reading this then you know how much I miss you and want you home.”

If you’re reading this…

Jesper suck in a breath, the pieces starting to fall into piece.

Wylan laughed, but it was a broken thing and Jesper hated it.

“I can’t read, Kaz. I’m… I’m not stupid or lazy. When others look at pages in a book they see straight lines of letters that stay exactly where they were penned. It’s all put together for them and it makes words. For me? Might as well be written on a hummingbird’s wing with how quickly they shift around. The fact that he sent letters at all, it’s only meant to mock me… to threaten me.”

Wylan sighed, “He’d only love me if I could read, but I can’t so he never will.”

Kaz considered the new information.

“Who knew?”

Wylan glanced at him.

“Who knew that you couldn’t read.”

“Hmm? Everyone here now.”

“Not who knows, who knew?”

Wylan didn’t say anything but Jesper cleared his throat and raised hand up in a small wave.

“Why didn’t you tell the rest of us?” Kaz asked somewhat to Wylan but mostly to Jesper, “This is important information.”

Wylan responded before the other could, “One, you don’t get to talk about hiding important information… and two, because it’s mine, not his. This is mine… and so was… it was suppose to be mine.”

The shame was his? Jesper wondered.

Jesper tried not to sound bitter as he spoke up, “I feel like we’ve had this conversation before, Wy.”

“It’s not shame Jesper…or…”

Wylan tilted back to look, well more pass them, than at them, eyes haunted.

“Have you ever drowned?”

Wylan ignored everyone’s horrified looks as he straightened up and began to babble.

“It really is a very strange experience. Your inside are being crushed by the pressure of the water in your lungs but the outside of you, as you float… almost feels weightless, like it doesn’t even really exist anymore. Like you don’t exist outside of those few places of pain…”

“Truly, the oddest set of sensations”, he mused.

Jesper creeped over to Wylan but didn’t dare touch him, in this state. He instead sat down by him in silence and was as still as he could be. Wylan’s hand twitched towards him and Jesper offered him his own. Wylan grasped onto it like a lifeline.

“I can still feel him holding me under the water, sometimes… which is a large part of why I didn’t want to do any of,” Wylan waved his hand, “this.”

Kaz hummed, in such a way that Wylan felt like the other had ordered him to elaborate without even opening his mouth.

“I had nightmares last night, for the few hours I manage to sleep, and I’ll have them again tonight, and probably tomorrow, and maybe the next night too.”

“It not shame… or at least not entirely, that holds my tongue. It’s the exhaustion that comes with not being able to sleep. It’s the anger that boils in me until I snap at people who don’t deserve it. It’s the sorrow that makes me want to hit myself because why I am like this? Why am I broken? Why aren’t I good enough?”

Jesper opened his mouth to reject that notion, but Wylan squeezed his hand, “I know, I do, I know but it’s how I feel, whenever I think about how my father ordered my death.”

Wylan looked at Kaz, “I’m sorry I’m unable to be the collateral you wanted,” he joked but it fell flat.

“Don’t be,” Kaz assured him, “Now I know and now I replan.”

Kaz made a gesture, and Jesper helped Wylan up to his feet.

“You may not be Allby Rollins but your father will experience everything Pekka Rollins did.”

He took in the anger on Jesper’s face and his lips twitched into a slight smirk, “Who knows, he may even get a worse fate.”

Nina laughed and Jesper placed a kiss on Wylan’s forehead but Wylan just looked hollowed out.

“Come on, you louts,” Nina told them, heading to Wylan’s other side to offer comfort, “let’s head home.”

And so they did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The line: I’m no Allby Rollins, Kaz, my father will not beg for me came to mind and I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I wrote this, hope y’all like it : )

[thawthebeez]

hey guys. tumblr user thawthebeez back at it again with yet another haikyuu essay B) the topic of today is one that i see NOBODY talking about which is crazy because this motif is (in my opinion) one of the main foundations of the kagehina community.

now may someone please explain to me why the HELL nobody ever talks about how whenever Tobio expresses an insecurity of ANY KIND, Hinata is ALWAYS the first one to swoop in and tell him not to worry about it?

yes, we've all established that Hinata Shouyou is the #1 Kageyama Tobio understander. we get that. BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE MAIN DISPLAYS OF THAT AND I'VE SEEN LITERALLY NOBODY SPEAK OF IT EVER.

i'm pretty sure there's an instance of it in season 2 (either that or my brain just made it up) when Tobio is a little worried about his and Hinata's quick attack not really working out but Hinata tells him "nah you'll figure it out eventually" or something along those lines. i'm not going to lose my shit over it because i can't find it but if you know YOU KNOW.

a part that i COULD find from season 2, however, was this:

here we have Tobio explaining how talented of a setter Oikawa is- how he's so much better than him- and it's clear that this is something he's insecure about given his facial expression.

THEN we have Hinata's INSTANT response:

and it blows Tobio away because WHAT

because, to paraphrase a little, Tobio basically just said "yeah oikawa can make any spiker look good no matter what team he's on" to which Hinata replied "yeah but that team wouldn't be Karasuno" which is essentially "Karasuno is strong enough as it is" BUT- if ur crazy- " dw he wouldn't take your spot babe" (<- which probably isn't how it's meant to be interpreted because they just finished talking about The Team That's Stronger As Six thing so like... context clues. it's probably not the insane interpretation).

ANYWAYS boom there it is. Tobio expresses insecurity, Shouyou swoops in and goes "Ermmmm Actuallyyyyy🤓" WHICH IS SO FUCKING ENDEARING ON IT'S OWN BUT THE FACT THAT IT HAPPENS MORE THAN ONCE AND AT SUCH A CRITICAL POINT TOO

the critical point in question being:

(context: Tobio just came back from his training camp in Tokyo and is a little frustrated because he's gotten so used to playing with other prodigies like himself so to go back to talented-but-not-prodigious players is a bit of a switch for him. don't get him wrong tho he loves this team to DEATH it's just a little different that's all. hashtag number one Tobio apologist right here)

SO THERE'S THIS! and it goes without saying that Tobio is DEEPLY insecure about his late middle-school days and being referred to as a king. Tsukishima adds a little salt to the wound and while I didn't take a screenshot of it Tobio makes this look of absolute HORROR after he says what he says

(which, side note, shows a lot of a character development within Tobio. especially since I've been flipping between season 2 and 4 a lot looking for these clips. Tobio didn't even notice when he was acting kingly before but he realizes it INSTANTLY now which is so so so good for him yayyyy character development!)

this also leads fantastically into my next tangent which is

TOBIO FUCKING APOLOGIZES!

now, admittedly this isn't entirely related to my thesis but i absolutely ADORE talking about this scene and i genuinely think it is one of the most prevalent displays of character development within Tobio because i feel like he tends to get overshadowed by all the other characters (especially Hinata, which i'm not upset about in the slightest like it makes perfect sense and if Tobio got all the attention all the time the show would be soooo unbalanced)

but I feel like a lot of people skip over Tobio's overall development over the course of the show. I mean compare s1 Tobio to s4 Tobio THAT IS NOT SAME PERSON ANYMORE. he grows so much over such a short period of time (which is another essay I could write. something along the lines of "Explaining Why Tobio And Shouyou Need To Be On Separate Teams Actually Because Character Development Purposes" because the amount of people i've seen on tiktok complaining about kghn being on separate teams and how they should just be on the same team forever makes my blood boil violently) and it's so refreshing to see Tobio's growth especially as a big Tobio enjoyer.

ANYWAYS back to the main thesis.

So Hinata steps in IMMEDIATELY here. literally cuts Tobio's apology off because HE HAS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR. he was expressing his thoughts whatever that's fine he could have done it in a nicer way SURE but listen the guy still has a LOOOONNNGGGG way to go but still, nothing to apologize for. it's just growing pains, y'know?

now the quote "What's wrong with him being the King again?" appearing here isn't the first time we're seeing this. Hinata has ALWAYS been confused as to why calling Tobio a "King" is a bad thing. literally from day fucking one Hinata was like "nah dude I think that title is cool" WHICH, AGAIN, TOBIO BEING INSECURE ABOUT SOMETHING AND SHOUYOU REASSURING HIM THAT IT'S TOTALLY CHILL HELLO?????

LITERALLY FROM DAY ONE SHOUYOU HAS BEEN DOING THIS. THAT MAN MAY THINK TOBIO'S AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES (and he kinda is) BUT NEVER WILL HINATA INHERENTLY HATE A PART OF HIM. and i don't think they realize it here nor do i think the realization comes soon after but at some point there will be the realization that they love each other. every single part. fucking Tobio probably realized it way back in junior high but that's a tangent for another time.

now this line.... this one right here...... oh my god i can be SO NORMAL ABOUT IT.

the main reason why Tobio had this look of HORROR on his face after he yelled at everyone was BECAUSE HE KNEW THE ENDING. he knew that yelling at them would have consequences (if it weren't for Hinata stepping in thank god). HE'S SEEN IT ALL BEFORE. in his final year of junior high he yelled at his teammates to run faster and jump higher and be better AND THEY LEFT HIM!!!

so Tobio yelling like this instantly makes him afraid that he's just ruined the entire balance of the team. he thinks he's going to be left behind again because he yelled and everyone is going to leave him BUT!!!!!

BUT SHOUYOU IMMEDIATELY JUMPS IN AND SAYS "idc what u say honestly if i don't like i'm just not gonna listen" OR, TO TRANSLATE "i'm not going anywhere regardless of what you say"

Tobio's biggest fear is losing this team. I literally do not need to explain why. that man would fucking DIE for this team (if you really need an explanation just to go the end of the Kamomedai match when Tobio admits that he's upset they lost because he wanted to play with that specific team more).

and for Hinata to essentially say "you could literally be as kingly as u want and i simply would not care, pal, i promise you i am NOT going ANYWHERE!!!" which has got to be SO FUCKING RELIEVING FOR TOBIO.

(also something something "nobody was there" / "i'm here" something something "doesn't matter what kind of toss goes up if you send it my way i'm hitting it" something something they're soulmates or whatever they are literally bound together by the universe they were destined to be together and it's a crime that universe kept them apart for so long and now that they're together they will always BE together two peas in a pod literally inseparable they are hot glued and duct taped together.)

and then there's this. i mean at this point you already know what i'm going to say like you get it by now but again IT MUST BE SO RELIEVING TO TOBIO to know that shouyou thinks his biggest insecurity is cool. that shouyou thinks that it's not something to be concerned about. that no matter what, no matter how much a King he is, they're not going anywhere.

SOMETHING SOMETHING "you drew stars around my scars" IF YOU EVEN CARE

and just the fact that it's always ALWAYS shouyou to do this. the fact that there was dead silence before shouyou spoke up. the fact that it's ALWAYS HIM there to understand Tobio (someone who has been misunderstood for as long as he can remember) GOD THEY DRIVE ME INSANE.

anyways thank you for being a witness to this madness👍

[haleigh-sloth]

There seems to be a lot of hate regarding the young heroes lately and the fact they haven't completely sympathised with the villains yet. It's sad because the young heroes aren't entirely wrong but I do agree that they do need to sympathise more but that will happen. I think some tend to forget that BNHA is a shonen manga where fights are going to happen and misunderstandings and view points will clash. Are Shouto, Shouji and Uraraka etc. wrong for caring about innocent people? No. 1/2

I definitely don't think you're overreacting.

Also this ended up being quite long because I went on a tangent, so I'll put a cut at some point.

But yeah I've had to go out of my way to unfollow a lot of villain blogs who have taken it a step too far for my tastes. I'm in a weird spot in this debate, where I get their complaints about the kids' writing, but also am very very tired of said complaints at this point in the manga.

I have said this several times, but I had to do some serious soul searching last year when I was pissed off at every chapter that came out because I was expecting more villain validation right off the bat, expecting the kids to immediately switch gears after the war, and expecting the issues in the manga's hero society to be brought to the forefront to address. But since then, I have readjusted my reading and expectations for the characters and the manga as a whole. And ever since I did that I have been significantly less frustrated, less disappointed, and have found myself enjoying the manga as a whole a lot LOT more. That doesn't mean the flaws went away, it just means I have accepted some things as they are and have moved on from complaining about them.

The nonstop hate toward the hero kids seems to be less rooted in the slow build up of their sympathy for the villains, and more associated with the kids NOT being written to reflect on the system they benefit from, that the manga continues to portray as very broken. The system failing IS brought up over and over and over again! And yet, nothing ever comes of it. It's a flaw. It's frustrating.

So for me, after the Villain Hunt arc I pretty much accepted that "fixing the broken system" is simply not going to be in the forefront for the endgame of this manga.

Is it kind of wonky to have each of the villains voice complaints about the system, and yet the kids continue to never be written to think about it? Yes. It absolutely is. But is it something I'm going to continue to latch onto and wait for to suddenly fix itself within the manga? No, it is not.

I've no doubt that some sort of answer to the broken system will be given. I really don't see us getting absolutely nowhere with it by the end, but.....look at Deku vs. Lady N for example. Take that as a precedent for how the end game is going to play out, because it seems to be going that way. He found out that a pro hero was being ordered to murder people, and didn't really bat an eye at it, which imo is quite OOC of him--if that says anything about the handling of this issue. Instead--he offered hope and optimism, and she accepted it. Did it address what she said? NO! It absolutely did not. But...that's the answer we were given. And that answer hasn't been challenged, and at this point I don't expect it to be.

What annoys me about the kid hero hate is that, imo the wonky writing is not a reflection of the personalities and feelings of the characters, it's a reflection of the manga's inability to balance the final arc's challenges. I've touched on this already but I'm gonna dive into what I mean down below.

The kids ARE sympathetic. They ARE compassionate and they WILL reach that point of unconditional acceptance toward their villains. I mean, provided they follow the clearly foreshadowed trajectory of their arcs. That is who they are. But there are obstacles in the way before we get to that point. And if you look at the specifics of each character involved aside from Spinner, their arcs are written in such a way to where "fixing society" is just not the answer here:

First look at Shigaraki:

He thinks he killed his family because he wanted to. He washed away his guilt surrounding their deaths by just telling himself that it was meant to be because all he can do is destroy, and that he wanted them to die. He thinks he was born to destroy and ruin everything around him. Oh and did I mention he also thinks he purposefully murdered his family because he wanted to? Did I mention that he "thinks" that so that he could not feel guilty anymore? Did I mention that he doesn't feel guilty anymore because he wanted to kill his family and that because he thinks he was born to destroy and that it was all fate and completely inevitable? Did I mention that? Did I also mention that deep down he doesn't fucking believe any of those feelings toward his family, and instead is just left with a lot of guilt and self-hatred because despite knowing he didn't want his family to die, he still thinks their deaths were inevitable because of his existence? Did I mention that the "hatred" that keeps him prisoner to AFO possessing him cannot really be a hatred toward society, because that doesn't really make sense? I'll explain below. Yeah. So--I understand Tenko was failed by the system. I understand it ties back to All Might's legacy and how an entire society became way too dependent on heroes and decided not to help other people because "some hero will take care of it". I understand Shigaraki talks about the failing system a lot. But Shigaraki's biggest issue right now is him losing his agency, losing his entire existence to AFO. "His hatred toward society is keeping him prisoner!" Maybe, but that doesn't make sense. Because him hating society is entirely justified by experience. We're told his hatred keeps him prisoner, so therefore he needs to let go of his hatred to be free. But! Society failed him. Nothing can be undone about that. Izuku Midoriya cannot make a difference in the fact that Tenko was ignored and left for dead. So what exactly can Midoriya do for Shigaraki to help him break free? What hatred does he have to let go of? Well-- Shigaraki's hatred toward himself, for example, is something Midoriya can help with. And I mean, it's the ONLY thing he can help with when it comes to saving him--in the way the manga expects him to--saving by starting with his heart. Shigaraki lived his life believing so many lies about himself and it's going to take someone who sees him differently to shake that distorted thinking. Sorry but the League members who view him as a pathway to victorious destruction and who associate him with rage and misery (rage that keeps him prisoner) are not gonna be able to do that. So--that's like...the only sensical pathway for Midoriya to save him. And clearly things have not happened in order for him to DO that yet. So I mean, yeah we can be impatient, but like why hate Midoriya when his character hasn't been written to DO what he's gonna DO yet? The sympathy HAS to be there, it will get there. Reflection on society on the other hand, well, it seems like it can take the backseat for this part. And it looks like it will.

Next I'll do Touya:

I mean....this needs a lot less explaining. It's pretty simple. Touya latched onto Stain's ideology because he knows firsthand about fake heroes. He sees that even if someone doesn't know his past, someone has the right idea. However--we have learned a lot about Touya since his identity reveal. What is truly motivating him to fight? He wants his dad's eyes on him, his dad's attention, even if it's in the most negative of circumstances. On a much deeper and buried below the surface level, Touya wants his family back. Because what sent him into a suicidal rampage that lasted almost 10 years was feeling as if his family buried him in their past, and moved on. That was it for him. He was done, had no reason to live. But he was going to get what he wanted more than anything, even if it was excruciating for him in the process. He talks about society's failures a lot, and he's right, 100%. But....is fixing the system going to help him, personally? Like...say Shouto waves a magic wand and everything in the system gets fixed--is Touya suddenly okay? I mean...his character tells us no. Touya's personal issues pertaining to the Todorokis, while definitely a result of a society they live in, still isn't something that can be fixed on a macro scale. So my point here is that, yeah Touya talks about a broken system a lot. But even so, that's not the answer to Shouto saving him, nor is it the answer to Endeavor taking responsibility. It's just...more individualized than on a societal level.

Last, I'll do Toga:

Toga is a little less outspoken about her grievances about society. It takes up less of her dialogue. She started outwardly questioning the role of a hero after Twice was killed, however I suspect she always had some sort of similar belief that led her to liking Stain so much. But again, she talks about her personal experiences and how SHE was told to swallow who she is on the inside, and grin and bear it. The sheer fact that she was born with a slightly creepy quirk was enough for her to grow up being treated like garbage by her family, and she just internalized that her whole life. And as a result her quirk started reacting to her intense feelings (just like Touya and Shigaraki!) and boom, she snapped. She remembers the harsh words she was told growing up, and that's what makes her give up on being heard, and double down in her decision to remain a villain that will never intermingle with the heroes (tee hee, or so she thinks). But I mean, it's the same story with Toga. Her personal feelings toward herself (which are negative due to how she was raised) are her biggest obstacle, and what keep her fighting as a villain, convinced she'll never be understood or accepted. Ochacko can retort about society buttttt, I mean why?? Would that change anything for how Toga feels? I don't really see how.

My point in exploring those three is that, yeah, as much as the manga continues to say "god damn this society sucks ass and needs a fixin'", it sure as hell does not seem to care about making characters actually acknowledge it. I think to some extent, Midoriya will have to acknowledge how the system failed Tenko, because narratively--Midoriya is filling in the gap of what Tenko never got, a hero who showed up for him.

But looking at the cast of main characters and the situations they were all put in to face each other and reach an answer, "Don't worry! We'll fix society and its bullshit systems that reject people like you!" just does not look like it can possibly be the solution on an individual basis. I just don't see how?

So I mean--the kids are gonna do what they need to do. But I really don't expect a lot of large-scale reflection coming from them any time soon, not until like way closer to the end.

However, if the manga incorporates it into each fight successfully without ignoring the villains' personal issues, man--I certainly wouldn't complain. But I find that holding out hope for an even balance between the individual characters' issues and the issues presented into the world-building is going to lead me to being frustrated. So I've accepted that some things will more than likely be cut short.

[hpalways]

Surprises || Childe

a/n: i swear i’ll get to the requests soon akjdhfjfj sorry for the wait dudes. 

BUT YEAHHHHHH ITS CHILDES BIRTHDAY I LOVE U DADDY HAVE A NICE ONE 

THROWING a surprise party for Childe was more difficult than one could imagine. He didn't fully admit it, but he was obviously hurt when no one wished him a happy birthday today. And while everyone went on to set the scene for when you would all surprise him, you were given the role to distract him. As the two of you strolled through the streets of Liyue Harbor, his sea blue eyes darted everywhere agitatedly. Repeatedly letting out a sigh, he combed his gloved hand through his ginger locks. You stifled a giggle at his discomfort, sensing that he was too prideful to outwardly question why his birthday wishes were practically nonexistent this year. 

He peered at you with disappointment, for he wished to hear those words from you more than anyone else. Wondering if his birthday was really that forgettable, he thought back to the day you asked when his birthday was. The two of you shared the dates and he remembered how elated he was on your birthday, buying gifts and spoiling you with his dirty earned mora. He could still see the grin that was stuck to your face the entire day. 

"Thanks for joining me on some errands. I'm almost done," you told him, smiling. Guilt continued to pour into your chest at the sight of him. 

He nodded and forced out a smile, coloring his face with his usual facade. "Anything for you, comrade," he chuckled, ruffling your hair in a habit. "I was bored anyway. It almost feels like there should be something important today, but I suppose there's truly nothing."

You wanted to burst out laughing. He was trying so hard to be discreet about it, but you could easily read behind the lines. "Oh? Nah. There's nothing important today."

"Nothing at all?" he responded, voice hollow. "That's strange. Are you sure?"

"I keep all my important dates on my calendar. It was blank for today."

His flingers curled around his shirt, gripping so tightly they shook. You were very organized, but his birthday wasn't on there. Did he mean nothing to you? Did he care for you more than you did him? He was beginning to feel idiotic -- foolish even. Falling silent as he followed you to the next stall, he watched you buy daily groceries, picking out the biggest fish in the pile and bright fruits from the baskets. He numbly carried the bags, groaning to himself. Maybe he should leave the city and hunt down some hilichurls, skewer them so he could release some of his pent up frustration. 

While he was lost in his head, too busy thinking about his bottled up emotions, you noticed Hu Tao in the distance, making wide signals. She was dramatic as per usual and you glared at her, urging her to hide within the shadows. Quickly turning away from the merchant, you were relieved to know that Childe had not detect anything suspicious. It was showtime. 

"Okay. One more stop," you informed him. 

"I... think I should to go," he responded. "I'll drop your bags back home."

Panic seeped into your expression, your eyes growing wide. Oh no -- this couldn't get any worse. You had to stop him before he could leave, because who knew where he would go next? He was such an unpredictable guy, free to roam wherever he liked with that reputation of his. "It's just one more place," you pointed out, knitting your brows together. "Come on, Childe. It will be really quick. Please?" You gave him the best puppy eyes and slipped a hand in his, squeezing it tightly to feel tingles erupt at the contact.

His head leveled slightly at the feeling of your hand, so he slowly nodded. "Fine. But I'll have to go right afterwards. I have some business to do with the Fatui."

That was a lie. The both of you knew that, but Childe didn't want to seem so lame in front of you. He already felt that enough today to last a lifetime.

You pulled him through the crowds of people lingering on the roads beside buildings, making a beeline to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. You ignored the furrow of his forehead when he saw the building looming ahead of him. Before he could voice out any inquiries, you pushed the dark oaken doors open, stepping into the darkness. He stayed by your side loyally, his muscles strained, ready to protect you from the weird atmosphere of the room. 

The curtains dropped, golden sunlight spilling through the windows to reveal the secret. "Happy birthday Childe!" the entire group called out. There stood in the room were dozens of people, including Teucer, Zhongli, Hu Tao, traveler, Paimon, and fellow Liyue citizens. Tables were set up in the Parlor, banners were hung up on the wall, and food were lined up, including a birthday cake. You turned to look at the red haired man, whose irises took it all in, his mouth parting openly. 

"Teucer. You're here!" he gasped, opening his arms wide when his little brother ran up to him. He hugged the boy tenderly, thanking everyone for the throwing the party. They all began to surround Childe, while others mingled and conversed, for the party was starting. 

You faded into the background, leaning against the cool wall and feeling grateful that it was a success. It was a lot of work, but with everyone contributing, it went very well, which was a little strange, considering you half expected it to fall apart.

Footsteps sounded, so you turned to the left to see him approaching you. He looked breathless, his cheeks rosy, and his dimples showing. "The party was your idea, wasn't it?" he stated, rather than in question form. 

Nodding silently, you took something out from your pockets. "Happy birthday, Childe."

You handed it to him and he took it with a softened expression. Unwrapping the gold, shiny wrapping of the small box, he opened it up to find a keychain in it, blue and twinkling. It was carved into a hydro vision, the details exactly aligned to the vision that sat on his torso. 

He kissed you then, crashing his lips upon yours. Hands faltering to the sides, you clenched your fingers around his forgotten present and returned the kiss. He tasted of seasalt and apples, as well as a scent that no doubt came from his homeland. His warmth brushed over to you, spreading through your system and to the tip of your fingers. Your cheeks burned at the contact and your chest pounded, but eventually, you pulled away, embarrassed by the chance of any onlookers.

"There are too many people here," you said, shaking your head, still feeling flustered by the way he looked at you -- as if you were the only thing he could see in this world. He was so unashamed, willing to do anything to grapple at the goal he sought after. He had always been like that. And always will be. 

He raised a brow, the corner of his lips curving up mischievously. "Are you suggesting we get out of here and find a vacant room?"

You hit his arm and he pouted, laughing at your reaction. "How rude," you sniffed. "I threw this entire party for you and you're already willing to ditch it. Don't think I'll forget how desperate you were this entire day."

Embarrassed, he averted his gaze from you, scratching his head with an awkward chuckle. "I didn't care for a party, [Y/N]. All I wanted was to hear a birthday wish from you. I was scared you forgot it."

"I would never forget it. Not in a million years."

His cheeks grew red and he seemed content at your answer. Swinging an arm around you, he lugged you towards the food. Then he rambled on and on about something regarding stuffing himself so he could slay a bunch of enemies. Sitting down at a table, he declared a rematch with traveler. On the other end of the table was Zhongli, going on long tangents to the poor victim who was forced to listen in. Hu Tao was scaring off another customer, suggesting deals like the sales woman she was and suddenly talking about the afterlife. 

Everyone here was so distinct and peculiar, but in a good way. Grateful to be surrounded by such people, you knew that not a day goes by without an adventure. 

"Hey Tuecer," you said to the boy beside you. He was in the middle of playing with Mr. Cyclops, making sound effects with his mouth. "How are you doing, little guy?"

"Hi [Y/N]!" he giggled. "I'm good. Mr. Cyclops is doing good too. He wants to say happy birthday to my big bro too!"

Childe returned from his conversation with traveler and Paimon, on time to ruffle his brother's head like he did with you earlier. "Thank you Mr. Cyclops," he cooed, petting the top of the toy endearingly. You laughed at the scene and he locked eyes with you. "Hey, don't hurt Mr. Cyclops' feelings like that. Right, Teucer?"

"Right," Teucer nodded somberly, growing real serious. 

Ugh, these brothers. You rolled your eyes and tossed food into your mouth. Childe's head abruptly dropped to your ear, his breath hovering upon your lobes. You shivered at his close proximity. "I love you, [Y/N]. You know that, right?" he whispered into your ear. 

Heart hammering for the millionth time this day, you paused with your chopsticks in the air. "I love you too, dumb birthday boy."

[notanotherreidgirl]

Lesson Plans

Summary: Spencer’s TA helps him organize his class all while developing a crush on him, little do they know that he feels the same way

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: none? there’s some kissing

Word Count: 1434

A/N: I definitely need to go back and edit this one!! 

Dr. Spencer Reid was the most eccentric professor you ever had. 

He didn’t use any technology at all. Opting instead to handwrite his lesson plans on the blackboard in slanted chicken-scratch. He never got through his material anyway, easily getting caught up on tangents and explaining his own jokes. On the first day of class, he passed out an 8-page double-sided, single spaced syllabus. It was clear that he spent a lot of time on it but he had neglected to staple the pages together so no one walked out with more than 5 pages. Not that it really mattered, he barely followed the syllabus and half of it were recommendations for optional reading. 

The lecture hall was always full but for the people who weren’t auditing, the class was a bit of a mess. Despite the chaotic nature of the course, students kept signing up. How could they not? Dr. Reid was charming and effusive and he rounded everyone’s grades up to an A. When you took the class you were completely entranced by him but you couldn’t shake your frustration with the lack of organization. What was even worse was that most people just took his class for an easy A and hardly bothered learning most of the material. You couldn’t believe it - you had been dying to take Criminal Psychology and you poured your heart and soul into your assignments. When the end of the semester rolled around and TA applications opened, you applied without hesitation.

When Spencer saw that you had applied to be his TA, he very nearly hired you without reading any of the other applications. He refrained from referring to his obvious affection towards you as a crush - that epithet seemed too juvenile - but that’s exactly what it was. A giant schoolboy crush that had completely obliterated his ability to think. He had a tendency to ramble but it was exponentially worse this past semester with you sitting in the front row. 

It only took him one week to commit your routine to memory. Get to class 5 minutes early, sit in the front (5 seats from the left wall), drive him crazy for the whole lecture (chewing on pencil erasers and giving him small smiles when he made eye contact), have lunch at the cafe downstairs, then camp out at the library for a few hours. You were a fastidious creature, orderly and straightforward. It came through in your papers too. Well-constructed arguments that got to the point without unnecessary filler. He was embarrassed to admit that he made copies of your papers and reread them, taking note of your syntax and word choice. 

Your first order of business as his TA was to digitize his notes, taking pictures of the blackboard after class and making concise powerpoints that were sent out in friendly weekly emails. You also revamped his syllabus and held your own office hours since his were always well attended by adoring students who never seemed to ask questions about the course material. It was a lot of work but you could talk about the course material all day. You loved the class and you loved teaching your students which would’ve been just fine if you didn’t start to love something, or rather someone as well. 

The semester flew by and your feelings for Spencer only grew stronger with every day, with every evening you spent grading papers together, with every coffee wordlessly passed between you, with every lesson plan you outlined together. And now it was all coming to an end. You were standing in the doorway of his office making promises to stay in touch and thanking him for this experience while the voice in your head was practically begging you to say something. But you didn’t. What would you even say? How does one tell their boss that they are completely in love with them? What if he didn’t want anything to do with you afterwards. With these thoughts heavy on your mind, you finally turned to leave. 

“Wait, Y/N, I know what you did for me this semester.” Spencer realized that this was his last chance to say something, anything to let you know how he felt. His words came out in a rush, “I know that I’m not the best professor. I don’t follow the syllabus and my grading system is all over the place and I ramble. I’m even doing it now. I’m rambling. I know there are so many things I should change but -”

“No!” you immediately clamped a hand over your mouth but it was too late, your impassioned outburst had already escaped. To say you were mortified was the understatement of the century, you would have given anything to disappear right then. 

Spencer, on the other hand, was thoroughly amused. It was as if you stole all his anxious energy away. “What do you mean, no?”

“It’s nothing! I just - well, I just mean that you shouldn’t change anything. You’re perfect just the way you are.” Your eyes widened. How was it possible that every word out of your mouth made the situation exponentially worse? “Not perfect - no one’s perfect! I just mean that you're fine. Your class is fine!”

For a moment you recalled the transporters in Star Trek. Beam me up Scotty, you thought uselessly. 

Feeling exceptionally bold, Spencer pulled a chair up to his desk. “I think I know what you mean, darling. Why don’t you take a deep breath and have a seat?”

You had been considering making a run for it but your legs promptly turned to mush after he called you darling. He had pulled the chair to his side of the desk so you were sitting right in front of him less than 2 feet away. You were determined to get the situation under control so you took a deep breath before starting.

“Dr. Reid, I wouldn’t want you to change a single thing about your teaching style. I became your TA because I wanted other students to enjoy this class as much as I did. Everything I did this semester was so that you could keep teaching in the irregular, fun and inspiring way that you do. I didn’t mean to overstep and I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I think you’re not a good professor. Because you’re not. It’s the opposite.”

After finishing you nervously looked up at his face expecting admonishment only to be met with pure adoration in his honeyed brown eyes. He reached into your lap and took your hands in his. You had expected the hands of an FBI agent to be hard, weathered from chasing down killers but his were soft and he held you so carefully like he was afraid you’d pull away. 

“Thank you” he whispered. He brought your hands to his lips and you had to press your feet into the ground to keep from floating away. “I wanted to say thank you for typing up comprehensible notes and replying to every email and making sure there’s always sugar by the coffee machine and listening to what I have to say and for letting me be myself”

Your breath hitched, you hadn’t realized that he’d noticed everything you’d been doing in the background. You squirmed in your seat, taken aback by the intensity of his gaze. Could he see right through you? 

“It’s really nothing, Dr. Reid” you murmured. 

“No, it's not,” he leaned in closer, so close you could feel his hot breath on your neck and you were sure he could hear the drumbeat of your heart. “Not everyone is willing to be patient with me and even fewer go out of their way to make things easier or better without trying to change who I am. I know I’m a difficult person but you don’t make me feel that way. I’m beyond lucky to have you.”

He paused before adding, “That is, if you’d have me?”

Whatever was left of your self-restraint disintegrated when you pressed your lips to his. You laughed into his mouth, joy bubbling from your lips and filling Spencer with an incredible warmth. He smiled and pulled you into his lap, “Is that a yes?”

“Yes, yes, yes” you punctuated each affirmation with a kiss to his nose, his cheeks, his temples. You wanted to tell him that he wasn’t difficult at all. That he was charming and capable and lovely but there would be plenty of time for that. For now, you held him tight and you didn’t have any intention of letting go.

[k-comfyspace]

Plan

Star: Jo Haseul (Loona)

Idea: Yes

Love: Hi cause recent news that Haseul is finally back could you do a Haseul x 13th fem!member. Where reader has been sad and overwhelmed lately, added that Haseul is gone so she cries to her members sometimes but when Haseul comes back to the dorm again reader is super happy? Thanks! I love you a lot!

A/n: Haseulllllllllll, thank you for requesting!!!

Sorry if I went on a little tangent love my head is in space again😅Hope you still like it!

You wrapped your arms around the older girl hugging her back as a giggle escaped past her lips, “Don’t forget to get some rest okay?”

Pulling away Haseul cupped your cheeks, frowning at your obvious tired state which made you roll your eyes and playfully pushed her away when you saw the worry and concern, “Yes mom,”

The small sounds of her laughter never failed to make you smile as Haseul waved at you and the others before she left the dorm after exchanging one more set of goodbyes.

When the door closed all of the girls got back to their own business, you walked back to your room sighing when you saw the stacked books and notebooks that you left on the table.

You padded towards your desk, sitting on the chair as you wore your glasses and took one book, your mind focusing on your task as you zoned out from everything.

A few hours later your door opened but you were too occupied to realize it until someone pulled the book out of your hands, you jumped back, hand on your chest as you looked at Kahei who glanced at you with concern,

“Unnie, you scared me!” you exclaimed, the older girl furrowing her eyebrows before she noticed piles of books on your desk.

“I knocked on your door multiple times, Y/n” carefully Kahei placed the book down as you breathed out, heart slowing down after the scare.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice, I was focusing too much,” you reasoned, a yawn leaving your lips as Kahei looked at you with concern, “Let’s eat dinner, so you can sleep,” she said, pulling you by the arm and you couldn’t resist, seeing the time on the clock you were surprised that it was already so late.

Jungeun and Sooyoung were in the kitchen, chatting with each other before their attention had shifted to you.

Frowns etched into their faces when they saw the fatigue in your face, the yawning that followed while you rubbed your eyes through your glasses didn’t help as Kahei sat you down before she prepared you some food.

The blonde and the brunette ended their talk and took the seats in front of you, observing as you kept nodding off, your eyes fighting to stay open as you mumbled to yourself, when Kahei came back she gave you a plate with a glass of water, also sitting beside you. Silence surrounded all of you as they let you eat,

“Are you doing okay, Y/n?”

Sooyoung was the first to break the silence, voicing out the thoughts that everyone had as you glanced up to see them looking at you with a certain look you knew far too well,

“I’m fine,” you said with a tired smile on your face, not giving any assurance to your members at all but when you saw them get filled with more worry you sigh and gave them a reassuring smile,

“I promise when I need help I would ask for you or anyone in the dorm,” you said, giving them your full smile which made their worries lessen as they sighed and looked at one another.

“We just don’t want you overworking yourself,”

You understood their concern because they’ve been seeing how hard you’ve worked, the hours you spent in the company trying to perfect the routines and the late nights that you’ve spent working on your projects, it made them worry because lately you’ve been getting too exhausted that they’re getting worried for your health.

When you finished your meal, Sooyoung volunteered to wash your plates as Kahei ushered you to your room, making sure that you were going to sleep and not work on anything because you still had a schedule tomorrow.

Hearing the door shut the three sighed, all thinking about your well being as they pondered about your situation,

“I hope Y/n’s taking care of herself,” Sooyung muttered after she was finished, sitting with the other two who only nodded in agreement, “She’s too stubborn,” Jungeun commented as they all glanced to the hallway.

Looking at your door before they debated on what to do with you. They all made a promise to their leader, to take care of you and make sure you weren’t overworking yourself.

Haseul knew how stubborn you were to finish a task even if you were already dead tired, she often stayed with you at nights just to make sure you didn’t stay up finishing something you could be doing tomorrow.

So she made sure that before she left she could entrust her fellow leaders to take care of you, even talking with Kahei because she knew that you two were close, considering you two were foreigners and often bonded to learn Korean when you were trainees.

“Let’s just go to sleep, we have schedules tomorrow,” Sooyoung said, glancing at the two who smiled and bid her goodnight, each of them going back to their separate rooms and calling it a night.

—

“Alright, water break!” Sooyoung announced, everyone choosing a corner to sit and drink their water as they rested.

But you didn’t sit as you only drank your water and went near the mirror, trying to redo the part you were struggling at, but everytime you attempted it, one foot would always be off and if you were to perfect the feet your arms would be wrong, at some point you were so frustrated that you decided to ask for someone's help,

“Haseul unnie can you help me?”

All of your members became quiet, staring at you as you didn’t seem to notice what you said, repeating the move as you mumbled to yourself every time you got it wrong,

“Unnie can you--” raising your head you met all their eyes, worry obviously present, you furrowed your eyebrows for a minute before you realized what you said.

Your eyes were quick to drop to the floor, lips pursed as you stared back into the mirror, a sigh leaving your lips.

It wasn’t the first time that this had happened, accidentally calling your leader because you struggled. It was a natural instinct, to call for the older girl as she had been the one to always take care of you.

Though the others also help you it was something about your leader that made you warm up to her more than the others, there were a few times where you accidentally did it.

Everyone understood at first, you had a connection with Haseul. Now they were getting concerned because of the frequency that it had been happening, they knew you were always happy being around the older woman.

It was practically visible how you always lit up when she was around, because you were used to her being by your side, constantly nearby when you needed her.

When they saw the way your shoulders sagged, Jiwoo was the first to stand from her place, walking behind you and wrapping her arms around your waist.

She nuzzled her head in the crook of your neck, you closed your eyes, embracing her warmth before you suddenly felt more pairs of arms enveloping you into a hug.

The girls all hugged you, making sure you knew they were there as you slowly started to tear up, truth be told you were struggling a lot. Not only did the hiatus of your leader affect you, but you also had been feeling overwhelmed because of all the work you’ve been doing.

With the countless schedules that you had to do, it gave you less time to work on your projects. Which resulted in you having to stay up late just to finish it.

They all hugged you and tried to take all your pain away, they knew it was hard, being an idol while also going through school. Though some of them didn’t experience it they can observe and see that you’re really struggling but you still try to hide the fact.

So all they could do is hug you and assure you that they were always with you, whenever you needed it.

—

Haseul was laying on her bed, scrolling through her phone and the messages in the group chat while she caught up on everything that was happening back at the dorm. Making sure that everyone was safe and sound.

She was about to put her phone down when she got another message from Sooyoung.

Haseul opened it and thought that the brunette would only check up on her but seeing as she mentioned your name worry started to build up inside her.

But as the conversation went on, a frown etched into her face, lowering and lowering until the end of Sooyoung's message. She told Haseul about everything you’ve been going through, saying that girls have been worrying non stop about you because of the tiredness that you’ve been feeling.

That you’re still stubborn and choose to hide it from them even if it was very clear that you were already so tired every time they see you.

Haseul had her ways of figuring out if you were hiding something, she knew you like the back of her hand, she knew when you were lying and when you tried to hide something.

She speculated something based on your tired state every time she went to the dorms. She brushed it off at first but now having gotten the story and confirmation from Sooyoung she stood up, a bright smile on her face when she already had the solution in her head.

The following day everyone seemed extra sweet, helping you start your day as they became more careful and smiley around you.

A part of you expected it, knowing that your members would do anything to make you smile and happy, but even if you knew it would happen you were still so happy so receive all the loving gestures that they would show you throughout the morning until you were dropped off to school.

At the end of the day you exited the gates, searching for the van but there was a crowd of people blocking most of the view. You didn’t think much about it, knowing that most of your fellow idols are always carrying a crowd behind them but you didn’t expect someone to grab your wrist.

You turned quickly and planned to throw your books at the person but instead Heejin greeted you as she gave you a smile, you furrowed your eyebrows at the older girl before you asked,

“Unnie? What are you--” Heejin didn’t let you finish as she pulled you away walking towards the crowd, as it parted to reveal the source of the attention was your own members.

Smiling brightly as they saw you heading towards them while you had to double take to make sure that you were seeing it correctly.

They giggled at your dumbfounded expression, “W-what are you doing here?” you asked them and they only showed you a sly grin,

“We just want to pick up our maknae. Is that so wrong?” Jinsoul replied but the smile on her face made you suspicious, “Don’t mind her, we thought it would be better if all of us go at the same time,”

Sooyoung interjected, pushing the girl away making everyone giggle, including you as they finally saw your full smile, eyes turning into crescents and nose crinkling which made them smile in delight.

A few hours later you came back to the dorms, body aching as you pushed yourself to the limits.

Not only did you have your sports fest earlier in the morning, but you also had to finish your choreography which had to be repeated several times because of some mistakes and revisions.

Opening the door you lazed past the hallway, going to the living room to crash on the couch but your whole body came to a stop as you suddenly felt wide awake, Haseul stood in the middle, a smile on her face before she opened her arms to you.

Without hesitation you bolted towards her, jumping into her embrace as she tried to balance herself, failing and landing on the couch with you on top of her.

The laugh that registered in your ears made you smile so wide that Haseul mirrored it, wrapping her arms around you just as tight and hugged you, melting in her arms you sighed and pushed your face to the crook of her neck sighing as you inhaled the familiar scent,

“I missed you so much,” you muttered softly, making the older sift her hand through your hair as she closed her eyes.

The rest could only watch with bright smiles, seeing you and Haseul happy as ever while you held each other.

It was everything they ever wanted, the two people who would constantly make them happy, their source of joy and energy, leader and maknae both happy and giggling as they rested on the couch.

—

Throughout the night you couldn’t wipe the smile on your face, not that you wanted to as you stuck beside your leader and when Haseul announced that she would be moving back to the dorm you couldn’t hold in your squeal as you and the other girls pounced on the older girl.

Surprised and happy at the news as all of you trapped her in a hug, cheering and celebrating as you ate happily. Joyous that you would have your leader back at the dorm again.

When you finished eating all of you went to wash up, planning to rest early since you had a rest day tomorrow because everything was essentially done.

Once you left your bathroom your gaze landed on the sudden stack of books which reminded you of what you have to do, the smile on your face dropped just in time for the door to open, Haseul peeking in and seeing the frown on your face.

“Hey,” you turned your head to the door, seeing the girl enter and close the door behind her. Approaching you before she held your hands in her own,

“What’s wrong?” she asked, your eyes moving to your desk, making the older follow your gaze as her own expression lowered before she pulled you towards your bed.

“Listen to me Y/n, you’re hardworking we all know that, but please don’t forget to take a rest,” Haseul said, cupping your cheeks as she brushed under your eyes, frowning at the dark circles that already formed. You closed your eyes and leaned into her hand, the warmth radiating from her forcing a sigh out of you.

Haseul glanced at the stacks of books, a smile reappearing on her face as an idea formed in her head, pulling away the older girl who waited until you opened your eyes.

Seeing the smile on her face made you confused but she was quick to pull you up and lead you to your desk, sitting down she smiled and got a book of her own, seeing the older woman's plan you had to smile. Thoughtful that she would do that as you reached for your glasses and put them on.

“Where do we start?” she asked as you looked at your sticky notes and told her where, you opened your book and started your own work, butterflies floating in your stomach as you couldn’t help but glance at the older in admiration, thankful that she would help you.

When you glanced down Haseul raised her head, she noticed your stares here and there, she found it cute each time she would see the smile on your face then after a minute she called you.

Raising your head you looked at her in question as she gave you the sweetest smile,

“I missed you too.”

[beskarhearts]

Where You Belong (Din Djarin x reader)

Connection series Pt. 7

Pairing: Din Djarin x reader (no use of Y/N)

Warnings: cursing, nightmares, loss, anxiety, angst (and lots of fluff)

Word count: over 7.5K

Summary: Din takes you on a picnic but also realizes he had forgotten to tell you something very important.

Notes: This chapter... it was an experience to write it. I am really interested to see your reaction to it and I hope you love it! I was also wondering from any other fanfic writers and from you readers: what do you think is the best time to post new chapters?

Previous Part ____ Next Part

______________________________________________________

You walked into your grandmother’s room to find her pacing around frantically. You instantly recognized the expression on her face. She was pissed. Absolutely livid. Her face was all scrunched up, her eyebrows bunched together, and she was biting her lip raw. She didn’t even notice you in the doorway, clearly too busy being consumed in her thoughts. “Who put you in this great of a mood, Gram?” you joked, half expecting her to go off on a tangent about your mother. The two of them had been at each others throats lately, especially ever since you accidentally revealed to your mom that your grandma had been training you.

Her train of thought broke and she jumped at the sound of your voice, clearly not expecting any visitors. She turned to look at you, her eyes warming up a little bit at the sight of you but you could still feel the upset radiating off her body. You both were similar in that way: you both felt deeply. “Damn Mandalorians.”

It was now your turn to scrunch up your eyebrows, giving her a quizzical expression at her answer. You had heard of Mandalorians and knew they were armored bounty hunters. But your knowledge didn’t really surpass that.  “Mandalorians?”

She scoffed, as if the question was so stupid, and shook her head. “Yes. I ran into one on my way home from town and,” she bit her lip, trying to find something to say besides just a string of curse words “They are ignorant and awful people.”

The statement shocked you. Gram was a strong, hard-headed woman who wasn’t ever afraid to tell the truth. But she wasn’t biased. She was accepting of all people, creatures, animals, and even droids. It was just part of her, to accept people as they were and not judge them based off what they looked like or their beliefs. “Woah. What is so wrong with Mandalorians?”

You knew it wasn’t because of their job. You lived on Jakku your whole life and had seen everything, from scavengers to bounty hunters to even worse. It was part of everyday life here and never appeared to bother her. “They hate us. Because of who we are.”

“What?”

“Mandalorians and Jedis do not get along. They are enemies.”

She finally sat down on her bed, strumming her fingers against her thighs. She was still frustrated but seeming to calm down. You sat next to her, looking over at her. “Why?”

“There was a Mandalorian-Jedi War that happened on their planet, the planet of Mandalore.”‘

“Mandalorians have their own planet?”

“Not anymore. In the war, the Jedi’s won but they destroyed Mandalore. It’s practically inhospitable.”

Your face softened. That sounded horrible. You couldn’t imagine your home planet just being destroyed into absolute nothingness. Your Gram noticed your expression and shook her head. “You are too kind. You can’t empathize with the Mandalorians.”

“Their whole entire planet got destroyed. That seems... extreme.”

The woman stood up, now facing you with a fierceness in her eyes and her finger pointed at you. “The only reason that war happened is because the Mandalorians hated us. They didn’t understand our powers and instead of leaving us alone, they created weapons and armor to destroy us.”

“Okay. But that was in the past.”

“It doesn’t matter. That hatred is still there.” She bent down so she could be eye level. “Listen to me closely. If you ever meet an Mandalorian, do not trust them or befriend them. Because as soon as they learn what you are, they will hate you and probably want to kill you. Mandalorians are brutish people with no compassion. They might as well be damn droids. Do you understand?”

You had never heard your grandmother speak about anyone like this and it shocked you to the core. You questioned whether or not this was just some old beef she was still holding onto, or whether this was reality. Either way, you nodded your head slowly, not wanting to upset her further. “Okay. I won’t.”

_________________________________

“Din, this is taking forever.”

“Sweet one, you are being very impatient.”

“I just don’t like my vision being restricted.”

“I am leading you to something you will like.”

“Can’t I just close my eyes on my own and you can take your big man hands away from my eyes?”

“No. Because you will look.”

You huff at his response, crossing your arms as Din continued leading you towards this secret destination. It was true - you probably would try to sneak a peak - but you just wanted his hand off your face because it was making you uneasy. One hand was still gloved but the other wasn’t and that was the one covering your eyes. His whole hand was so large, covering a ridiculously large portion of your face, and they were warm. You could feel yourself flush from the skin to skin contact.  “Well, are we close at least?”

“Yes.” 

Din had told you that you guys were landing on a random planet and he had a surprise for you. He had locked you in the ship, telling you not look out the windows of the cockpit, and gone outside for what felt like forever. Then once he finally came back, he insisted you couldn’t look until you were at the surprise. But that had felt like forever ago and you two had just been walking on and on. You tried to pay attention to your surroundings as much as you could, gathering clues as to where you were and what you were doing. You knew their was grass because it was brushing against your ankles with each step you took towards your destination. It was also moist, meaning you were probably on a planet where it rained. Every once and a while, you would heard a loud squawk ring out, meaning there were animals of some type around. But otherwise, all you heard was the rustling of the breeze against the grass and what you believed to be trees. You didn’t hear any other voices or sounds for miles, meaning you were most likely completely alone.You could feel the sun on your skin, spreading warmth throughout your body. It sounded weird but you could smell the nature. You could smell the grass and the wind and something sweet - maybe a fruit or flower of some sort.

You continued walking until your foot tumbled into something hard, causing you to spring forward and Din held you up so you didn’t fall. “See? This is a safety hazard. I could of died just now.”

Din let out a scoff and he was so close that it felt like you could feel the modulator reverberate through you. “I’m holding on to you. You weren’t going to die.”

“That’s what you think. But just wait. A rock is going to take me out and then you will be sorry.” 

Din finally stopped, your body once again lurching against him in the sudden  change. His hand still covered your eyes, fingers pressed tightly together so you couldn’t peak through. “Are you going to keep blabbering or do you want to see what it is?”

You smiled big, finally satisfied that you had stopped walking. “We are finally done walking?”

“You whine a lot for a person being surprised.”

You let out a laugh at the insult. “And you are very bossy for a man being the surpriser.” 

Another exasperated sigh. “Maybe we should head back to the Crest.”

“Oh, shut up and take your hands off me.” Din’s hand finally dropped from your face and it took you a second to adjust to the surroundings. It was bright, the sun shining above you two. You blinked a few times, finally adjusting to the change when you let out a small gasp. 

You were stood in the middle of a field full of hundreds of flowers. They were of all kinds, some short and some tall. Some were large and some were small. They came in every color you could ever imagine and you swore you had never seen something so beautiful. You had never lived in a place that wasn’t mostly barren and almost monochromatic. You knew there were planets with flowers and colors and vibrancy, but you never could of imagined that it could be this gorgeous. You took a deep breath in, smelling the divine sweetness of all the plants surrounding you. A small laugh escaped your lips at the wonder of it. This seemed like a place totally unscathed by the word. It hadn’t been touched by the evil and corruptness of this galaxy and there was an inherent pureness to it. 

You heard a shuffle through the flowers and looked down to find the kid, grabbing at flowers with a big smile. You knew what was coming before it even happened as he grabbed a handful of petals and shoved it into his mouth. You giggled as Din bent over, scolding him about not eating everything he saw.

You turned back to look at everything when your eyes landed on a blanket in the middle of the field, laid out perfectly. It was one of the blankets you had bought at the marketplace, it’s beautiful array of colors nearly blending in with the flowers. Neatly arranged on the blanket was a variety of food and a container of drink. You felt the biggest smile crawl onto your face as you realized what it was. “Din Djarin, did you set up a picnic?”

You turned around, seeing him standing there in the field with the kid held in his arms. The sight of it took your breath away. The sun reflected off Din’s armor, making him stand out and shine. The contrast between the silver of the metal and the flowers around him was stunning. The kid was held in his arm, trying to get away with a big toothy grin on his face, a petal in the corner of his mouth as his ears flopped gently in the breeze. You were taken aback by how beautiful your family was and how much joy a single moment like this could make you feel. You felt in that moment like this is where you belonged. Wherever Din was was where you knew you were meant to be.

“Yeah. I guess I did.” Din said, shrugging his shoulders as if this wasn’t the one of the nicest things anybody had ever done with you. You found yourself wanting to run towards him and hug him, feel him hold you in his arms, with your kid between you guys letting out little giggles. “I thought this would be okay. A nice stop.”

“Okay?” You shook your head at Din. “Din, this is... breathtaking. I have never seen anything like this.”

Din stepped towards you, his helmet leaning down as you made eye contact with his visor. “I’m glad. You deserve something like this.”

You shyly smiled at his words, cursing yourself for feeling your face heat up. “So do you, Din.” 

_________________________________

You had now spent hours out here, sitting in this field with Din while just talking and playing with the kid, who had somehow successfully caught (and eaten) three butterflies. The sun was setting and the temperature was dropping slightly, although it was a pleasant, welcoming coolness after a day in the sun. You had eaten food and it was all delicious. Succulent, juicy fruits and bread that had been warmed by the sun. Now the child was asleep and back in his hover pram, the cover on completely in order to block any light from bothering him. 

You turned to look over at Din, who had sat with you the whole time, and suddenly felt incredibly rude. “Din, you didn’t eat anything.”

Din shrugged his shoulders. You knew he probably hadn’t even noticed. When you first joined him, you noticed that he could go hours without eating. It was very inconvenient for him to eat, especially when there were people around. And you understood that but you swore the man could go literal days without consuming anything and he wouldn’t even think twice about it. You eventually started forcing him to eat, leaving him alone in the hull of the ship while you and the kid sat in the cockpit, that way he could eat alone and properly enjoy a meal. “I’m fine.” 

You shook your head and started pushing the food in front of him. “No, come on. You need to eat.” You looked all around, surveying the area for any people. You hadn’t seen a single soul today and Din told you there were no inhabitants on the planet, which you found shocking. “How about I take the kid back to the Crest and you can eat out here? Enjoy the fresh air.”

You started rising from your place on the ground when Din grabbed at your arm, pulling you down. “No. Don’t go.”

You smiled at the tone of his voice. “It’s fine.”

“Wait,” You paused again, looking back at Din to see his helmet looking right at you. “I trust you.”

You scrunched up your eyebrows, not exactly sure how that pertained to the discussion but you still felt warmth pool in your chest. “I’m very glad you trust me but I don’t know what that has to do with you eating.”

“I have an idea.”

You quirked an eyebrow, tilting your head at him. “What?”

“Just sit right there, okay?” 

You nodded slowly, dropping yourself back down next to him. You watched as Din’s hand left your wrist and he brought them up to his neck, pulling at the bunch of fabric wrapped around it. “Din, what are you doing?”

The fabric pooled away from his neck and you tried your best to tear your eyes away from the skin but found it hard to. His skin was tan, surprising to you since he always wore the armor, but it looked warm and inviting. “Just let me do something.”

Din scooted closer to you, taking the scarf in his hands and folding it over before bringing it up to your face. You leaned back a little until he pulled the fabric over your eyes and you realized what he was doing. You felt him tug at the back of your head, securely tying the fabric in place. “Can you see anything?”

You turned your head in the direction the voice was coming from. It was pitch black and you wouldn’t be able to see a thing unless you tore the fabric away. “No. Completely dark.”

“You okay like that?”

You smiled softly at his question. You appreciated how he always checked in on you, to make sure you were okay. Even if it inconvenienced his comfortability. “Yes. I’m very comfortable with blindfolds.” You meant it as a joke but felt yourself cringe at the words that spilled from your mouth. “That sounded way worse than I meant it.”

You heard Din snort, a sound that wiped away any embarrassment you felt. “Okay. I’m going to take it off. Just don’t take the scarf away from your eyes.”

“I won’t.”

A click rung out, followed by a long hiss, and it suddenly hit you. Din was taking his helmet off. You knew he did that before. He surely didn’t shower or sleep with it on. But when he was doing those things, you weren’t sat right next to him. You didn’t have the power to look, not that you ever would put him in that situation. You found yourself wondering if he had ever done this before with anyone else. 

You heard some shuffling and a plop on the blanket, probably him placing his helmet right next to him. You listened closely for the next sound to signal what was happening when you heard him take what sounded like a bite, that was followed by a hum. You smiled, glad that Din was able to enjoy the meal and not just scarf it down as fast as possible like he always did. “This fruit is good.”

Maker. You felt like your whole entire body just melted. It hadn’t even crossed your mind that since Din’s helmet was off, you would hear his voice. Like his actual voice. Nothing modulated or tainted by a helmet. Just him. And it was the best sound you had ever heard. His voice was still kind of raspy like it was in the helmet, but softer and so much warmer. It reminded you of the sun and the happiness it brought you. And it was a weird thing to think, but you thought that his voice sounded like how brown eyes look. At least how you think his eyes looked. You suddenly cursed his damn helmet for blocking out his sweet voice and couldn’t believe this was your first time hearing it, unfiltered and just so uniquely Din. 

“Y-yeah.” You mumbled out, still being so affected by hearing his voice. 

“Are you okay?” You smiled brightly at his question. You swear you could listen to him talk all day. The man could never shut up and you would be perfectly content. You found yourself plotting ways to get him to take off the helmet so you could hear it more often, not caring that you had to wear a blindfold in order to hear it.

“Yeah. Why?”

“You are just... smiling.”

You probably looked like a raging lunatic, a blindfold over your eyes and the biggest smile on your face as Din just sat there and ate. “I’ve never heard your voice before. At least not without the helmet.”

“Oh.”

“You’ve got a great voice.” 

“I have a great voice?” Genuine confusion could be heard and you let out a little chuckle at it.

“Yes. It’s nice. Comforting.” You spared him anymore details, probably already making a fool of yourself and not wanting to embarrass him further by droning on about his voice, because you knew you could do it.

“I’ve never had anyone tell me that. Though I can’t really think of anyone whose heard my voice before.”

“Well, I feel honored.” You laid back against the blanket, not being able to see it, but facing the sky. You brought your hands to behind your head, leaning back on them. “Talk more.”

A small noise, perhaps a clearing of the throat, could be heard in response to that. “About what?”

You paused a moment, thinking before coming to an answer. “Teach me some Mando’a.” You loved hearing Din speak Mando’a. It was a part of his life he was able to share with others and you imagined hearing him speak it without the helmet on was even better.

“Okay. Let me think.” Din paused and you heard him take another bite. You imagined him, fully clad in his armor with his head poking out. You had a hard time imagining his face but you still had a few ideas. He probably had brown hair that matched eyes. He didn’t seem like a guy with light hair or really, really dark hair. He probably had a nice, strong chin that matched his personality. “Mesh’la.”

You repeated the word, nodding when he hummed to indicate you pronounced it properly. “What does that mean?”

“Beautiful.”

You smiled. That seemed like a perfect word to describe this moment. “Good word for this place.”

“Yeah.”

“What else?”

“Aliit. That means family.”

You smiled again. “Aliit. I like that word. Keep going.”

“Cabur.” 

“And that means?”

“Protector.” 

“Very fitting for you.”

“You think so?” His voice was softer this time and you could sense a feeling of either pride or perhaps gratefulness. It made your heart soften. You knew how seriously he took protecting you guys, and cabur seemed like the perfect title for him. 

You nodded quickly. “Of course, Din. Tell me more.”

“So needy.” You heard him laugh and Maker, it was even better than his voice. Even warmer and brighter. 

“Shut up and keep talking.” You teased, one of the corners of your lips quirking upwards.

“Mir’sheb.”

“Ooh, let me guess. Something sweet and nice.”

“Smart ass.”

You let out a loud laugh at that one, sitting upright again, getting closer to Din and hearing his laugh echo out once again into the field. His laugh was all-consuming and like that first breath of fresh air after going so long without it. “What does shit head mean? That way I can have a new, special nick name for you.”

Din let out another laugh at the joke. “I don’t know about shit head but shit is osik.”

“I like that word.”

“Of course you do.” 

You both chuckle and you hear him eat some more food. “One more word.”

You heard him hum, pausing for a few moments. “Murcyur.”

“What does that one mean?”

“Kiss.” 

You froze completely. Why the hell would Din say something like that? Because now all you can think about is kissing Din and the mere thought of it is giving you heart palpitations and you feel like you might just explode. His lips are just out, exposed. Probably very kissable. They are probably like his hands - rough but also soft. The kind of lips that are masculine but gentle, not over aggressive. 

Shit. This is not okay. You can’t be thinking about kissing Din. Because this is just a rabbit hole and one second you are thinking about kissing Din and the next you are wanting to marry the man. And you don’t live the kind of life where you can just think things like this.

Then you realized you couldn’t see Din and what if he was going to do something. Something like kiss you. You’re pretty sure that if he did that, you’d fucking pass out and you can’t have that happen. You let out an awkward chuckle, not even sure why you were laughing but not able to stop it. “Good to know, buster.”

Where the fuck did buster come from? You are pretty sure you have never, ever said that word your whole entire life. And you are certain that is the dumbest thing you’ve ever said. Out of all the dumb shit to leave your mouth, that took the cake. Change the topic, dumb ass. “Can I ask you a question?”

You didn’t even have a fucking question planned. What were you doing? You heard Din say, “Yeah.” and your mind blanked. 

Any question. A single question. “What happens if someone sees your face?” 

Great, now he probably just thinks that is all you care about. “What do you mean?”

“Like, what if you are in the refresher and I accidentally walk in on you? Do you have to kill me?”

“Do you often think about walking in on me when I’m in the refresher?” Din said the words plainly, like he was asking an innocent question, but you swore you could hear the grin on his face.

You scoffed theatrically, hoping you weren’t showing just how flustered you were. “No. I was just inquiring.”

Din hummed, still teasing you, and you suddenly wanted him to shut up very badly. He was getting too cocky. “Well, one of two things happen if someone sees me. First option is I kill them.”

“Well then I will definitely never walk in on you in the shower.” You paused. “N-not that I wanted to.”

“Well, I wouldn’t kill you anyways. I never could.”

“What then? Drop me off on a planet?”

Din scoffed like you had suggested the most ridiculous thing in the world. “I would never abandon you. Ever.”

“Well then, what is this second option?” Din is suddenly silent and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he simply disappeared. “Hello?”

“Well, you either kill them or... ummm-” You hear him fumble with his words and normally you’d find it adorable (especially without the helmet) but now it is just making you nervous.

“Or..?”

“Marry them.”

Now that caused you to take a sharp intake of air in and then start choking like a damn idiot. You swore that the galaxy had it out for you in that moment because this was all way too much for you to handle. Din and you in a field of the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen, talking about kissing and marrying and hearing his voice... It was like you were overdosing. 

Then you were hit with the realization of what Din truly said. If Din wouldn’t kill you or ditch you if you ever accidentally saw him... shit. “Huh... neat.” You muttered, finally trying to collect yourself.

“You okay?”

“Oh, yeah.” Make a joke or something. “You just better hope I never accidentally see that face of yours because you don’t want to be stuck with me as your riddur.”

“How do you know that word?”

“What word?”

“Riddur.”

Oh shit. You hadn’t even thought of the fact that the woman at the stand had taught you that word and not Din. “You must have said it before.”

“I’ve never said that word before.”

“Oh, yes. It must of been from my secret Mando’a tutor then.” You smirked, hoping Din shrugged it off and luckily he didn’t say anything else.

“Let me put my helmet back on.”

“You don’t have to. I’m fine.”

“No. It’s getting dark and I’ve had it off long enough.” You heard some movement and then a click that you registered as Din’s helmet being put back on. You then heard him shuffle towards you, his fingers untying the knot and the scarf dropping from your eyes. You blinked a few times and realized it was getting pretty dark, the sun just barely skirting the horizon. You turned, seeing Din besides you, putting the scarf back around his neck. 

You gave him a small smile. “This was nice.”

“Yeah. It was.” He gave you a small nod before starting to stand. “We should start heading back to the Crest.”

“Yeah.”

_________________________________

Your nightmares happen way less often but now when they occur, it’s worse than before.

It is always the same thing. Your home, the very place you had been born in all those years ago, was up in flames, illuminating the night sky in a way that caused your stomach to twist up. The wounds on your back and arms were fresh, stinging so much with every movement that it felt like you would bunch over and hurl from it. You keep stumbling and that’s when you find them. Your parents, laid on the ground like rag-dolls. Like they were meaningless. And every time you see them, you let out a wail so loud it seems to consume every part of your being, until you are nothing but the very pain you feel.

That is usually how it would end. But now it wouldn’t just be your parents. Din would be there, in his beskar armor, laid out on the ground. And you couldn’t see his face but every fiber of your being knew he was gone and it was your fault. You would feel your stomach absolutely drop and this terrifying dread fill every part of your body, consuming you until you felt like you’d collapse. And even when you eventually woke up, sweat covering your body and your hands shaking, that feeling would still be there, eating you up raw.

Tonight was no exception. You woke up in the middle of the night, hyperventilating with such an overwhelming sense of guilt washing over you, almost drowning you in it. You brought your shaky hands up to your face, wiping away at the tears streaming down it. Nights like these were tough. You’d lay there on your cot, staring up at the ceiling and fighting sleep. Because you couldn’t fall asleep and see it again. The images were already burned into your mind and that was bad enough. Experiencing it again was a hell you couldn’t endure multiple times, especially not in the same night.

You sit up, planting your hands on your knees and taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. The Crest was completely silent, until you heard a small sound from the cockpit. You looked over to where Din slept, finding the door closed which meant he should of been asleep. You reach for the blaster you’ve kept hidden under your pillow, your fingers reaching around it and pulling it in front of you. Your hands were still shaking slightly but you held the blaster confidently in front of you, rising from the cot and slowly letting yourself step towards the noise coming from the cockpit, tip toeing silently towards the ladder leading to the small space. You keep one hand of the blaster, using the other to slowly make your way up. You pop your head up, blaster coming up with you, and exhale when you see it’s just Din in his seat, polishing some armor. 

“Din, what are you doing?” You quietly hiss, pulling your whole body up and into the cockpit, putting the blaster down and sitting down in the passengers seat.

Din looked up at you, his helmet moving from his armor to your face. He was in his pajamas still, long sleeve shirt and long pants covering most of his skin. “Did I wake you?”

“No. I,” You trail off, not wanting to bother Din with your nightmare. You would rather ignore it and just talk with him. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

“You were just knocked out when I came up here.”

“Oh, so you watch me sleep now?” You raise an eyebrow teasingly, already feeling more at ease. 

“Yeah. The drool really does something for me.”

You gasp at Din’s quip, your mouth slightly widened in shock. “I do not drool.”

“Okay, sweet one.” Din sarcastically said, his helmet rolling back down to the armor in his lap.

You roll your eyes, scoffing slightly to which you hear Din chuckle. “Why are you polishing your armor in the middle of the night?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Just... thinking.”

You lean against one of the chair’s arms, tucking some hair behind your ears. “What were you thinking about?”

Din let out a small sigh and you furrowed your brows. Something was going on. He placed his armor on the floor besides him, looking back up to you. “What do you want from life?”

You tilted your head back, a little shocked by Din’s question. “What do you mean?”

“When you imagine your life in the future, what do you want?”

That was a heavy question. Once, long before the worlds cruel hands had twisted your life, you had hoped for a rather normal future. You could of seen yourself working on Jakku, taking over your father’s business. Maybe even settling down one day and having a kid or two. It was very domestic and probably boring, but it was calm and docile. So wildly different from the life you had been given so far.

But now life was so different. For the longest time, you didn’t think about your future. You just focused on getting through the day. Life was hard enough and plaguing yourself with thoughts of what could of been felt like a cruel joke. Now it was different, though. You found yourself hoping, yearning for some kind of future. And in every version of it, you found yourself incorporating Din somehow. Today you had done that very thing. Laying in that field with Din and the kid, no worries or concerns, made you think. It would be nice to live on a planet like this, where you didn’t have to worry about anybody or anything. Just you, the kid, and Din. 

But that kind of thought was embarrassing to admit out loud. Because while you could confidently say that you and Din were friends, in the end you had been hired to take care of the ship and the kid. And you guys never put a timeline on you job, but you knew it would come to an end one day. Whether that was cause the kid was older or Din didn’t need you anymore or maybe Din found something else, something you didn’t fit into.

“I don’t really know. One day I want to just... settle down, I guess. Not always be so worried.” You shrugged at your answer. It was true, but you let out a lot. “What about you?”

“I never really thought about it before. But now... with the kid and you, it’s hard not to.”

You quirked your head at the answer. You knew the kid had to be part of the reason why Din was thinking about this, but he also mentioned you. Did that mean that in his future he saw you? Or was he just thinking of how one day you’d be gone? “What do you mean?”

“I just want to do right by you guys. You two deserve to be happy and safe.”

“We are happy and safe.”

“This isn’t the life you two deserve. You deserve normalcy and-”

“Din, stop.” You saw the man lean back against his chair, exasperated. “You have changed my life for the better. And the kids. We were both in such dark places before you came along. So don’t belittle what you’ve done for us.”

“Yeah. But I can’t even get the kid to where he belongs.”

You pause at that. To where he belongs? What the kriff did that mean? He belonged with Din, his father, and you. He was safe here. “What?”

Din turned his helmet towards you and let out a loud sigh. “Dank farrik.” 

You looked up at him as he rose from his seat, putting his hands on his helmet like he was cradling his head. “What is it, Din?”

Din let his hands drop, looking over at you. “I haven’t told you something.”

Your heart stopped. This wasn’t good, at all. You could sense it in Din’s demeanor and his tone. “What is going on?”

“The kid... doesn’t belong with me. His powers are too much for me. I can’t help him. He needs someone who knows how to train him.” You knew where this was going before Din even finishes and you feel your stomach drop. “I was quested to find a Jedi who can take him in.”

You felt like you were going to throw up, your head dropping to look down into your lap. You couldn’t look at Din right now. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Your voice was shaking, tears pricking at your eyes. 

“I got lost in this, in you. It’s been so nice, like life is normal.” You knew exactly what he was talking about because you had felt it almost every day. And you should of known it was too good to be true. “I’m sorry, cyar’ika.” 

You felt his hands try to reach out for you and you pushed them away, finally looking up at him and feeling tears rush down. “Don’t.” You stood from your seat. “Don’t cyar’ika me. You should have told me.”

He should of. He knew how much you had lost. He knew your family had been ripped away from you and how hard it was for you to move on. And then he gave you a family. The kid and him were your new family. And you had dumbly let yourself fantasize about the future of your family. Of raising the kid with Din and maybe one day your relationship with Din would move further. You had let yourself do that, all without knowing that this family would be taken away from you too. And you were supposed to let it happen.

What Din was saying made sense. You knew the kid was powerful. You could feel it before you were made witness to his abilities. You knew it was why people wanted him, so they could exploit it. You thought that was the extent of it though. You didn’t think about how the kid would need training. You had let yourself get too caught up in your feelings and in your love for him to see past it, towards the kids future. 

“I know.”

“You kept that from me. You let me join you guys without warning me. You gave me a family... a family that’s got an expiration date on it.”

“What?”

“I have lost all my family, Din. I can’t do that again. You’ll find a Jedi and then the kid will be gone. And then I’ll be gone.”

“What are you talking about?”

You threw your hands up. “Din, the only reason I’m here is because the kid. Hell, the kid is the only reason you brought me on. Without him, you would of left me because you didn’t want me.” You feel your voice crack with the last sentence. You were distraught and angry and these emotions were wrecking havoc on you.

“That’s not true. All I want is-”

“No, it is.” You interrupted. “If the kid hadn’t liked me and wanted me to come, I wouldn’t have. Which means as soon as he is gone, my job here is done and I’m gone.” 

A silence fell over the cockpit, a tension so palpable that you swore you could cut into it. You hated this. You hated what you were feeling and you hated arguing with Din and you hated that you knew you were going to lose him. Part of you wished you were still naive, that you could of been allowed to think your silly little thoughts about family.

“I don’t want you to go. Please.”

You winced at the way Din spoke. It was raw and you swore you could feel the pain. But you just turned away. “I can’t do this again.”

“I lost my family too. I understand this.”

And maybe that was true. But you don’t think he would ever understand the guilt settling into the pit of your stomach. The kid needed a Jedi, someone who understood the Force and could train him. He needed a master, someone so exceptional because the kid’s connection with the Force was strong, making his powers even stronger. 

You were once trained. Your grandmother had shown you how to use the Force, how to be one with it and allow it to flow within you. But that night, when you had lost your family and used your abilities to kill... it wasn’t the same. You no longer felt a healthy respect for the Force and felt wonder at the way you were able to use it. All you felt was fear of what you could become. So you abandoned it, tried your best to forget all of your training and vowed to never use it. A vow you had now kept for years. Now all your training might as well had been reversed. Even if you wanted to use it, you couldn’t train the kid. It took years for your grandmother to train you and in order to even begin to think about training the kid, you would need to retrain yourself, which you didn’t even think was possible. And even it was possible, the child was too powerful for you. You’d never be able to help him like a true Jedi Master would be able to.

And you felt at fault for that. If you were a better Jedi, a better teacher, a better person, you’d be able to do it. And you’d be able to keep the kid with you and Din. You wouldn’t have to hand him off to someone you didn’t know.

“You don’t understand.” You croaked out, wiping away all the tears. 

“Then tell me what I don’t understand.”

You remembered your mother’s words. Her preaching to you over and over again to never tell anyone what you were. You remembered your Grandmother ranting about the distain between Jedis and Mandalorians and how if a Mandalorian learned what you were, they’d hate you. And you could of seen Din looking past that, not being biased. But now if he learned what you were and how you couldn’t train the child and keep his kid with him, he’d hate you. And you wouldn’t blame him. So you couldn’t ever tell Din, could never reveal that part of yourself to him. You’d have to keep it hidden like you’d done your whole life.

“I need to be alone.” You turned to the ladder, slipping down it without giving Din a chance to stop you. You marched over to where the kid slept, opening the door and finding him peacefully asleep, huddled with a blanket in his hammock. He was blissfully unaware of the way you were failing him and of the turmoil going on in your mind. You felt more tears fall down, your hand reaching out to grab his little hand.

You had gotten too close to him and Din. But you knew if you stayed, you’d only get closer. The child needed help. And Din was so intoxicating. You couldn’t distance yourself from either of them.

Unless you left.

_________________________________

Din found her sitting in the same field of flowers from yesterday, hugging her knees to her chest and staring into the sunrise. It was early morning and there was a crispness to the cool morning air. Even with the helmet on, Din could smell the sweetness of the flora. If the situation were different, Din would love to sit out here with her like they had done last night. But things were hard right now.

He hadn’t slept at all. He had just sat in the cockpit, staring out the window and reflecting on just how badly he had messed up. He knew he messed up, really bad. He knew it when he realized he had never told her about his quest. But he didn’t think he truly understood just how much it would have impacted her until she looked at him with those eyes. They were so full of hurt and betrayal, and Din hated that he was the one to cause it. That was when Din realized how much deeper this went for her. And he knew there was something she hadn’t told him. Something that was eating away at her, at his cyar’ika. And he wanted to know what it was so badly, but he also wanted to respect her boundaries like she had done for him time and time again.

Din stepped towards her, lowering himself down to sit besides her. She didn’t turn to look at him, her steady gaze remaining on the array of colors illuminating the sky as the sun rose. 

“I’m sorry.” Din’s heart broke at the apology she whispered, her voice cracking slightly. She had nothing to be sorry about. Everything that had happened was his fault. He should of told her about the kid as soon as he agreed to let her on and especially once they started getting so close. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Din sighed, laying his hands down on each side of his body, clutching onto the ground like it was an anchor. “I should of told you.”

She nodded her head, finally looking over at him. He could see the fatigue on her face but in this light, she still looked so beautiful. It shocked Din how someone could so consistently take his breath away. “I understand it is hard for you too.”

That was definitely true. Din hadn’t had a family in so long. And now that he did, he was so scared of losing it but it also felt like a definitive. The kid had to be trained and it tore away at Din, but he couldn’t do it. The child needed someone who knew how to help him and Din knew it should be sooner rather than later. Perhaps that was why he never referred to the kid as his son and always kept this small barrier up. Because Din knew if he fully let the kid into his heart, he would break once he had to let him go. And perhaps that was the pain every parent had to endure but he couldn’t accept it. He had already lost too much.

And her words still echoed in his mind. Which means as soon as he is gone, my job here is done and I’m gone. Is that what she wanted? Or did she truly not realize how much he cared for her? Because Din heard that and felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. Unlike the child, Din allowed himself to get closer to her than any other person in the galaxy. Perhaps it was naive, but he thought once the kid was gone, he would still have her. That she would want to stay with him. That she would be by his side in whatever came next. “Sweet one.”

She closed her eyes for a minute at the nickname and Din brought a gloved hand up to her face, just barely brushing her cheek but he felt her lean into it. He wanted to touch her, to hold her and tell her just how much he cared for her. “Please don’t leave me.” His voice cracked and he felt himself choke up as she opened her eyes, looking straight at him. “I can’t lose you, cyar’ika.”

Her eyes softened and she nodded slowly. “I don’t want to go.”

“Then don’t. Even when the child is gone... you can stay. I want you to stay.” 

“Yeah?”

Din’s heart clench at her need for reassurance. He hadn’t even realized how reliant he was on her until the thought of her leaving scared him to death. He swore he needed her more than he needed air. “Yes.”

She reached her hand up, holding onto the one that touched her face. Din brought it away from her, feeling her twist her fingers within his. “Okay.”

Din let out a deep breathe, feeling whole again as she leaned her forehead against his helmet. She closed her eyes and Din brought his other hand to hers, linking his fingers with hers so both of his hands were full. This is where he belonged: with her. Wherever she was was his home. 

He felt the words on the tip of his tongue. But those three words had the power to change so much and he had already felt like he was so close to losing her. He couldn’t risk it.

Perhaps another time, he could tell her how much he loved her.

Tag List: @ilikethoseodds @dindaddy​ @poguesvixen @starspangledwidow​ @fangirlalexia​

[whatifxwereyou]

Ashes Chapter 11: Coffee

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021

Pairing: Liu Kang x Reader

A/N: This story will now update on Wednesdays from here on in! Hope that you're all doing well. It's wednesday, you made it halfway! You got this!

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You didn’t sleep much that night. You were afraid to sleep. Between the vision on the roof and your night with Liu Kang? Sleep just wasn’t part of the equation. You hated that you wanted to be held through the night, but you felt too guilty to imagine Kung Lao doing it. You tossed wildly between feeling horribly guilty that you’d slept with Liu Kang like a human wrecking ball and angry that he’d lied to you all those years ago. You would have given anything to get your brain to shut up for the night.

The next morning, you tagged along with the other champions to meet with Johnny Cage. Liu had told you that you could stay behind if you needed rest, but you wanted to be anywhere but alone with your thoughts. Besides, you were curious about Johnny. Raiden had sent all of you to talk to him. Either he was impressive, or Raiden had ulterior motives. You were guessing the latter.

From what you’d heard, Johnny was as stubborn as they came but you hoped that deep down, he had a somewhat decent moral compass. It was difficult to tell just from watching a movie and meeting him would help. You were usually a good judge of character.

You were to meet with him at a coffee shop in Hollywood and he was impossible to miss. White blazer, bright blue half-buttoned shirt beneath it, gold chain around his neck, and the top letters of a tattoo of his own name exposed on his chest.

“When I agreed to meet with you, I figured it’d be just you and me not your whole crew of misfits.” Johnny gestured behind Sonya who had her arms folded so tight under her chest, you could see her veins bulging. She looked like she wanted to immediately break his nose. He must have made quite the impression on her the day before. Johnny made a big deal out of buying coffee even though most of you declined. You ended up getting a tea since Johnny seemed a little bummed that no one was taking him up on his ‘generosity’.

“Can you believe this guy?” Sonya whispered to you. You sipped your tea and shrugged. They had gotten to talking about the dragon mark. Cole had shown his off since it was the easiest to get to. “I’ve never seen anyone love the sound of their own voice this much.”

“I think he’s a little funny.” You shrugged. You’d decided he was harmless. Yes, he had a huge ego and cocky attitude, but he was also… well, harmless. He played it tough and made a lot of jokes, but you had met plenty of terrible men in your life and Johnny didn’t seem like one of them. Sonya huffed next to you.

“So, you’re telling me that you all have the same mark as me?” Johnny led them outside the café and took a seat, kicking his feet onto one of the tables. He held his latte close and looked at you over the top of his sunglasses.

“Yes. The mark means that you have been chosen.” Liu’s English was adorable. He had such a careful way of speaking and his accent made it even sweeter. You had to make a conscious effort not to smile. Liu explained Mortal Kombat, and it was nice to hear him sounding like himself for once. Maybe your night had done some good even if it had felt like a mess.

“Hold up, hold up. You all have the mark? I was just joking before.” Johnny kicked his feet off the table and leaned his elbows on his knees.

“Yes. We are the chosen warriors.”

“…that’s messed up.” Johnny sipped his coffee and set it down on the table. Then he pointed to you. “How’s the tea? Good?”

“It’s fine. Thank you.”

“Focus.” Sonya’s every word to Johnny was accompanied with a cringe or a sigh. You, again, had to actively try not to smile. He waved off your gratitude with a motion that said it was no big deal but looked pretty pleased with himself.

“Is this a joke? Are you guys pranking me? It’s… pretty creepy that you all have my mark.”

“It’s not your mark and it is not a joke, I assure you. Like we said, it means that you are chosen to fight.” You bowed your head politely.

“Wait, I think I’ve got it.”

You stepped behind the others to allow them to handle it. It was too hard for you not to laugh. Jax and Sonya exchanged annoyed glances in front of you. No laughing, you reminded yourself.

“Have you?” Cole seemed skeptical.

“This must be an elaborate pitch for a movie. Am I right?” Johnny’s grin was infectious. You could see how he had wound up semi-famous. Arrogant, good looking, funny. He was a little annoying, but you understood the appeal. The movie you’d watched the night before had been terrible but also fun to watch. Sometimes that was all a movie needed to be. Cole was trying not to laugh and had taken a step back so it wouldn’t be so obvious. Sonya and Liu continued to try and get the conversation back on the rails, but Johnny was excellent at derailing it.

Jax’s arms were literally made of metal and Johnny was still convinced that it was some Hollywood practical effects nonsense.

“What do you make of him?” Jax asked you quietly. He’d taken a step back with you, eyes still narrowed as he watched the conversation unfold.

“I think… that he’s harmless and we should just maybe… corner him in an alley, knock him unconscious, and drag him back to China.” You shrugged. If you couldn’t convince him with words, then you could show him the truth. Jax laughed and then his smile faded as he realized you weren’t joking.

“…are we allowed to do that?”

“I mean, legally no but… who’s going to stop us?”

Jax laughed again but you were serious. You could knock him out and bring him back to China. He seemed like a good guy with good intentions, but he wanted proof and you weren’t sure that he’d believe anything you did without making a wild excuse for it. Some people were so stuck in their head about what they thought reality was that they refused to believe the truth when it stared them in the face. Lord Raiden was the ultimate proof. Then again, Johnny Cage would probably be missed if you took off with him without a word. And you supposed that Jax and Sonya were military and might object to you breaking the law. Maybe you could talk to Liu and Cole about it later and figure something out.

Sonya was easily exasperated which was funny to watch. She’d dealt with Kano with far more grace. Something about Johnny seemed to get under her skin. You were just happy that it wasn’t you for once who was obviously frustrated. All things considered, today you were doing fine. “No offense, but I only agreed to this because I thought I could buy you a coffee and charm you into having dinner with me.” Johnny clearly had a thing for blonds. You continued to try not to laugh.

“We can prove it.” Cole interrupted. “Prove that it’s all true.” He was playing mediator on Sonya’s behalf. It was kind of sweet. You also kind of wanted to see Sonya break Johnny’s nose. That would also be fun. “A fight.”

“With you?” Johnny looked him over skeptically and Cole’s affronted expression was delightful.

“No. With him.” Cole nodded toward Liu who bowed his head.

“…really?” Johnny looked skeptical but then got to his feet. “I’m not sure what kind of movie you’re trying to pitch to me, but a challenge is way more up my alley than shoving a script in my face.” You had turn away to keep from laughing, not at Johnny, but at how hard Jax had rolled his eyes. “There’s a gym down the road and I’m sure they’ll let us fight.”

“Privately.” Cole added before Liu could agree to the terms. It wouldn’t exactly be good for Liu to set the world on fire in a public place.

“Weird request, but okay.” Johnny led them down the block and walked backwards, turning to face them as he adjusted his jacket with a grin. “But if I win then you leave me alone about all this and blondie lets me take her to dinner.”

“Not part of the deal. If we win, you listen to us and come with us to China.” Sonya went to continue on what you were certain to be a hilarious tangent, but you elbowed her and urged her to agree. “Ugh, fine. Deal.”

“I’ve gotta warn you little man, I am a force to be reckoned with. You’re about to step into the cage.”

“If Liu loses, I’m skipping town.” Sonya muttered to you.

“Liu won’t lose. Trust me.”

Sonya continued to grumble. You were confident in Liu’s skill. You had the utmost faith in him. Johnny led them along the longest and shortest walk to a gym in your life. He could talk. Again, he was harmless, but a little annoying.

Johnny brought you to the most pretentious gym you had ever seen. It was huge. He’d been able to talk his way into getting you access to an indoor tennis court so you could have some privacy. You pulled Liu aside and reminded him not to set the whole place on fire which he seemed to think was funny. You weren’t sure you could explain that away so easily. You’d tried so if the worst happened then it wasn’t you fault.

There were backless benches on the sidelines of the court, so you took a seat in the center to watch Liu and Johnny fight. You weren’t sure why all the champions had to be here for this. It seemed excessive. Maybe you would reach out to Raiden and explain that your talents were being wasted. It would be better to just show Johnny the truth than try to talk it to him because that boy could talk his way out of anything, it seemed.

Johnny was a talented fighter, but he also showboated a lot. You watched as Liu easily stepped out of the way of Johnny’s every strike. Johnny droned on and on while they fought. You wondered how long it would take before Liu put him in his place. It was almost embarrassing to watch the fight with Johnny not taking anything seriously.

You tuned out the noise of the fight and the others trying to convince Johnny from the sidelines. Instead, you chose to admire Liu doing one of the things that he did best. It was easy to forget how impressive he was when you spent most of your time arguing and being neck deep in your grief and drama. These were some of the things that had attracted you to him in the first place.

Maybe you should tell him how highly you thought of him. It had been a long time since you’d had anything nice to say to each other. Cole came to sit next to you, and you paid him no mind at first.

“This is silly.”

“Very.” You tore your eyes away from the fight for a second. Hm, interesting. Sonya had disappeared at some point. You couldn’t blame her. Johnny was making her uncomfortable. It was a shame though. You had been looking forward to seeing Sonya snap and put Johnny in his place. “How’s the family today?” You hated small talk, but it seemed appropriate.

“Good. Doing some more sightseeing. They liked you, by the way. I’m glad you got to spend time with them.”

“It was nice.” You wanted to say that it had been good to be out of your head, but you weren’t very close to Cole and were still cautious around him. You had a feeling that he understood what you meant. “So, what do you make of this guy?”

“I’m starting to feel like this is a waste of time. Every champion of Earthrealm is here catering to his ego rather than doing… honestly, anything other than this seems more important.”

“I agree. I’m not sure why Raiden sent all of us. You three could have handled it. Raiden has his reasons. He always does. He’s funny like that.” You took to watching the fight again. Johnny had finally started to take it seriously. Liu should have just set his fists on fire and ended it, but he seemed to be enjoying it. Silence followed momentarily. Cole nudged you with his shoulder, and you wobbled purposely as if it had been more than a nudge.

“Are you and Liu…?” He nodded toward Liu knowingly and you snapped your gaze away from the fight.

“No,” you said probably far too haughtily. This was feeling inappropriately personal again. Then again, you had just been kind of ogling Liu Kang. You thought you’d been discreet.

“Sorry to assume.” Cole laughed and leaned back on the bench. “Are you sure though?”

“I feel like if anyone’s sure then it’s me.”

“It’s just… I couldn’t sleep last night so I came down to the lobby to ask for more pillows. It was around closing time at the bar. I’d been thinking about getting a drink to put me to sleep and…” Ah, damn. “I spotted you and Liu in the bar. Tried to wave but you were pretty focused on each other.”

“Yeah.” There was a chance he hadn’t seen too much, and you weren’t going to admit to anything without needing to. “We’ve been arguing so we were trying to bury the hatchet and grieve.”

“That would do it.” Cole was bad at trying to hide his amusement. It was kind of charming. “It didn’t look like arguing. Or grieving.” Oh, good. Of course he’d seen them. Why wouldn’t he have? You sighed heavily. “Is there something we should know?”

“It’s personal. It doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else.”

“If we end up in trouble then it might not be so personal anymore. You’d be surprised what people do when things are complicated like that in a panicked situation.”

“No offense, Cole, but Liu and I are good at panicked situation. Also, it’s none of your business.” You were embarrassed and it was showing, and you hated it. Cole laughed. Sometimes you were just as bad as Liu was at hiding your frustration.

“I’m not judging you, Y/N.”

“It’s nothing, Cole.” God, it was so not nothing, but you didn’t want to talk about it with Liu nonetheless with Cole or anyone else for that matter. It was awkward.

“I’m choosing not to believe you.”

“Fine. But it’s nothing.”

“What’s nothing?” Jax sat on the other side of Cole. Cole pointed to you, and you spoke with wide eyes.

“It’s really nothing. Where did Sonya go? I didn’t see her leave.” You couldn’t change the subject fast enough and Cole made no attempt to hide his laughter.

“Oh, she’s avoiding this creep but she’s still around.” Jax gestured to Johnny Cage who was dusting himself off after being knocked to the floor by Liu.

“Creep is a harsh word.” You chuckled then considered it. “I suppose he is hitting on her a lot, but… I think he’s kind of funny.” Cole and Jax didn’t seem to agree. “He’s harmless. Like… a poodle.” Cole stifled a laugh. “Has the ability to be tough but look at him.”

“He’s an entitled ass.”

“You’re right, Jax. He is.” Your intentions were sometimes lost in English. “I didn’t mean to suggest he wasn’t.” Cole and Jax continued the conversation, but you turned back to the fight. Just in time too, it seemed. You smacked Cole’s arm and diverted his attention back to the fight.

Liu took a step back and the fiery energy swelled around him. He clasped his hands together then drew them apart with controlled strength. He was finally going to do more than give Johnny a run for his money. Fire burst between his palms and he stretched it before him before turning and tossing the fireballs. Johnny rolled out of the way with a girlish shriek.

“Whoa! Whoa, hey!” Johnny crouched to look at the scorch marks that the fire had left behind on the court. “Was that real? That was real fire! How’d you do that?” With some excitement, Johnny approached Liu who summoned the fire again in his palms and then stepped back in a threatening stance that made Johnny stop short. “What kind of special effects thing is that? Special gloves? Looks like your real hands… what movie were you guys pitching again?”

“We are not pitching a film.” Liu wasn’t even short of breath. He hadn’t even broken a sweat and he allowed the fire to blaze in his palms. “Those of us with the marking are gifted arcana to help us fight to protect our home. This is mine.”

“Oh, come on, just tell me how you’re doing it without burning your hands.” Johnny smirked. Then he yelped as Liu threatened to throw the fire at him again. “I really won’t tell anyone! I’ll sign an NDA and everything. Just tell me how you do it.”

“This is absurd.” You shook out your hands and then cracked your knuckles. Enough was enough. You were going to help convince Johnny Cage. Cole perked up.

“I was hoping you would.”

You rubbed your hands together and then with a swift gesture of your wrist, you drew Johnny Cage so that he was standing before Liu who took a step back in surprise and threw you a glance. You were shocked by the effort it took. Keeping these drawings up was definitely one of your more complex skills but it didn’t usually make you feel the way it was making you feel now. You hadn’t been this exhausted by your arcana since you’d first learned how to use it. It was probably the lack of sleep. You were grateful that it hadn’t slowed you down, but you’d lost your posture. Cole offered you an arm and you took it.

Liu stepped back to allow your drawing to take his place, releasing his fire without so much as a puff of smoke. His hands and forearms were covered in soot. You mimicked the stance that you’d seen Johnny use in that terrible movie from the night before. The actor was taken so off guard that he was quiet and focused on the copy of him that you willed toward him.

He ducked and dodged and with surprising speed and accuracy, he knocked the ink back and it fell to pieces. You shuddered and hunched forward but Cole helped keep you upright. Jax sat on the other side of you to do the same. This was embarrassing. You could usually keep up a drawing while you fought. Today you could barely sit upright. You redrew the ink copy behind him, and it knocked him swiftly to the ground. You had to use moves you knew better than Johnny. A mixture of Kung Lao and you.

Johnny blocked and stepped back nervously and was trying to reason with the ink copy, but your ears were ringing, so you didn’t hear what he was saying. Judging by the joy on Cole’s face, it had to have been funny. You knocked him to the ground with a sweeping kick and when he rolled onto his back, you manipulated the ink into Sonya and allowed it to pin him to the ground and press a shadowy blade to his throat. Johnny threw up his hands on either side of him in surrender.

“Okay! Okay. Just…” He drifted off, at a loss for words. You shook off Cole and Jax then stood but both men stood with you. You had to have been pale or look unsteady, but you were okay. “What the fuck?” Johnny poked at the ink form of Sonya’s shoulder, and it stained his hand.

“I assure you that no special or practical effects could mimic my arcana in the moment.” You stepped closer and bowed your head politely with a smile. “Now, will you listen to us Mr. Cage? Or should I kick your ass with a copy of you again?”

“What is it?” Johnny tried to wipe the ink off with his other hand.

“The lady’s right. Are you ready to listen? Or are we going to have to pound you to the ground and drag you kicking and screaming?” Jax threatened. Cole stood next to you, hand behind you just in case you fell. You threw him a look and he shrugged. Johnny was looking like you’d stolen his cookies and then eaten them right in front of him.

“Or we can abandon you and wait for someone to kill you and take the mark.” Liu stood next to you.

“Wait, what? Take my mark?” Johnny lifted his shirt as if to search for his mark and then sighed with relief. You released the drawing and were grateful that Cole held you upright again. Jax offered Johnny a hand and began to explain, at length, how he’d gotten his mark. Johnny was looking far more apprehensive and doe-eyed now that he’d realized this could be real and not just a movie pitch.

“You good?”

“I’m fine. Thank you.” You smiled graciously at Cole then gestured to the benches. You patted his shoulder and then took a seat back on the bench. You’d done your part. Liu Kang took the seat next to you when it appeared he was no longer needed.

“Someone can just take it? Just like that?” Johnny was back on his feet and sounding horrified. You tuned him out while Jax continued to work.

“You’re gray again.” Liu didn’t usually speak to you in English. It was charming.

“Am I? It doesn’t usually drain me like that. I’m tired is all. That’s probably it.”

“I’m worried, Y/N. You should…”

“If you’re going to say that I need to take it easy then I’m going to smack you right on the mouth, Liu. I know my limits.”

Cole chuckled from ahead of you and then cleared his throat and muttered an apology. Liu turned his gaze from yours, but you could see the slightest smile on his lips. Charming again. Dammit.

“Fine!” Johnny Cage adjusted his jacket, shouting loud enough to get your attention. “I’m… I have to go. This has been very interesting but… I’ve got meetings and people to see and…”

“Don’t you make excuses, you little shit.” Jax threatened.

“No, really. I’m already way past my time with you guys. This was supposed to be coffee with a pretty lady. I have a meeting with my agent. I told Sonya that I was squeezing her in, and I meant it.”

“No way, you lost. We had a deal.” Cole argued.

“This is a lot to absorb. Give me a day to think about it!”

“Why should we trust you?”

“Give him a day.” Liu approached them with his hands folded together neatly behind his back. You couldn’t help but smile. He was much more himself today than he’d been in a long time. You could have cried. “Like he said. This is a great deal to understand. But I won. You will meet with us again tomorrow when you have had your day.”

“Technically? She won.” Johnny gestured to you and you offered a friendly wave.

“I did. So, please, do what Liu asks or I will haunt you with replicas of yourself.” You threatened with a smile. Cole was trying not to laugh again. Johnny approached you with his shoulders slumped and sighed. You offered him your phone. “Put in your number. You can tell us where to meet you tomorrow when you’re ready. If you put in a fake number, you will be sorry.”

“I bought you tea.” He pouted. You laughed. He really was harmless. Johnny beamed as if happy to have made you laugh. He fiddled with your phone and handed it back to you. You sent a message to the number, and he responded from his phone seconds later. “I’ll text you where to meet me tomorrow.”

“If you’re dicking us around, I swear…” Jax threatened.

“I have faith that he’s going to do as he said he would.” You decided to offer him patience. Besides, if he did blow them off then you were going with Plan B which was kidnapping.

“I will. Thank you. I’ve… got to run.” Johnny was talking on his phone before he’d even left the room. He was a movie star, after all.

“I guess we go then?” Cole looked like he had much more to say about what had happened but also like he was trying not to burst into laughter. You thought the situation was comical too.

“Where’s Sonya? I don’t want to abandon her here.” You stood and searched the room.

“Outside. I told her what’s up. She’ll meet us out there.” Jax patted you on the shoulder. “Give me that motherfucker’s number before we leave. Just in case.”

“Happy to.” You offered Jax your phone. You made your way out of the gym, and you watched the others walk outside. You stopped in the hall to catch your breath. Damn. That had left you winded. Why? You needed a nap, at the very least. Once outside you met up with Sonya then walked down the block out of sight of the gym.

“Why are we catering to this guy?” Sonya snapped in a haughty whisper once you’d filled her in on what had happened.

“I still think we should just knock him out and drag him to China. He needs proof and he’ll get it there whether he likes it or not.” You shrugged, stepping a bit away from the others so you could lean against the brick wall of the storefront behind you.

“That’s kidnapping.” Sonya dismissed your idea.

“…so was what you did to Kano.” Cole argued.

“This is different. He’s a celebrity. Kano was a murderer and a criminal.” Jax defended Sonya. Their friendship was adorable. They always backed each other up.

“I’m not worried about committing a crime.” You shrugged. Cole laughed again but then cleared his throat when no one else did.

“Sorry. She’s funny.”

“I have a feeling he’s going to come with us. He’s just stuck up his own ass.”

“And this really is a lot to comprehend.” Liu was trying to diffuse the situation rather than stoke the fire which was nice. “He’s frustrating, but we’ve dealt with much worse than him. Give him his day. If he doesn’t pull through, then we’ll figure it out from there. No crimes necessary.” He looked to you as if to warn you.

“You’re no fun.”

“I guess you’re right. Give him his day. I hate it but what else can we do?” Sonya looked to you disapprovingly and then smiled. “Besides kidnapping.”

“That’s still my backup plan.” You folded your arms under your chest. “This has given me a headache. Are we done?”

“Just about, I guess.” Jax adjusted his footing uncomfortably. Liu came to lean next to you against the wall. The others were making plans on where to meet up if Johnny contacted you. They were also talking about dinner which you were not thinking about yet.

“You’re still gray.” Liu was back to Chinese. He probably didn’t want to be overheard.

“I’m tired, that’s all. I promise.” You made a sound of disgust as he picked up your wrist to check your pulse. Cole was giving you a look, a look as if to throw your words of it being ‘nothing’ with Liu back in your face. You stuck your tongue out at him and he laughed. Then you swatted Liu’s hand away. “I’m fine. Stop.”

“Alright. That’s it then. Y/N, if you hear from him let me know. I put my number in your phone.” Jax pointed at you.

“Happy to.” You nodded down the street. “What do we do until then?”

“No matter what happens we meet up at nine in the lobby. If he hasn’t contacted us, we figure it out from there. I’ve got a few ideas.” Jax smirked.

“I guess for now we can just keep enjoying Hollywood.” Cole chuckled. It sounded like they wanted to go sightseeing again and you would pass. They could do whatever they wanted but you were going to get some rest.

Next Chapter >>

[novasintheroom]

Hiya~ :D Saw your requests were open. Mind if I ask for one, please? Would you do me the honour of writing a 'lil somethin' somethin' with the bois' fem!S/O seeing them cry for the first time and how she would handle it? 2003 or Bayverse, your choice. ;) Please?

I had this ask nearly done and then my computer ATE it lmao I’m so sorry it took this long to answer!!!

Leo

·         Takes a lot to get this guy to cry tbh. Has to be something really tragic or traumatizing to get him going. That, or watching Coco

·         Which is exactly how you see him cry for the first time

·         The guys hadn’t seen many Disney movies, so you decide to rectify that with a Disney night. Coco is first, and Leo is Unprepared™ for Miguel and Coco singing together at the end

·         He has to leave like right after because he’s holding back sobs, and you’re like ‘wtf’. Like, it’s sad, and you’re a bit teary-eyed, but it’s not that bad, right?

·         You follow him and find him in a corner deep in the lair trying to get it together. You ask him what’s up, and he confesses that seeing Coco so old reminded him that Splinter’s getting old too, and he’s worried about keeping his family together once he passes

·         All of Raph’s threats to leave over the years have really dug under his skin

·         Gall, it’s heart wrenching to see him trying to hold it in and apologizing for his “stupid” worries. So you wrap him in a hug and tell him it’s okay to be sad about it, and to let it out. You’re surprised when he does start crying, even though it’s quiet.

·         You also tell him that he’s never gonna lose his family or you, even after Splinter’s gone. His family’s gonna stick around because everyone loves him.

·         He doesn’t cry much (read: at all) after that, but he comes to you a lot more when something bothers him or makes him sad. Really helps your relationship improve overall!

Raph

·         2nd most likely to cry out of the brothers. He’s an emotional guy okay.

·         Hates to be caught crying though lmao – would rather die before admit he shed a tear

·         First time you see him cry, you catch him on your roof before he can leave

·         It’s a surprise, since you weren’t expecting to see him that night, but you’re happy to see him anyways.

·         He’s a bit distant, though, like he’s trying to decide to leave or not. You ask him what’s up, and he just mumbles something you can’t hear. You ask again, and he sighs this aggravated sound and just sits on the roof

·         “I ran into some humans tonight. Stopped a mugging happening. Was gonna just get outta there after, but the people I saved started throwing rocks and bottles at me. Callin’ me a freak.”

·         You didn’t know, but that’s the third time this week that’s happened. He may not show it like Mikey, but that stuff still hurts to hear, even if it’s gotten a bit better working with the NYPD

·         He starts ranting about it, about how people just don’t care anymore, that he should’ve just let them get mugged instead of helping them because they didn’t deserve help (he doesn’t mean it, Splinter’s taught him better; but you know how anger can fuel meaningless words)

·         You sit beside him, dangling your feet over the roof’s side, and take his hand in yours while he talks. His throat grows tight, and he has to stop a few times to keep the tears from falling, and when one does, he just gets more angry and starts on another tangent. He doesn’t move from your side, though. You’re a balm to his wounds.

·         Eventually all he can do is breathe heavy, and in a broken voice, ask, “Why was I made like this? It’s not fair.” Gall, if that doesn’t just break your heart…

·         So you hug his arm, and tell him how much you love him. He’s right, it’s not fair that he has to live in the shadows, away from people when all he wants is to be normal. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve love and happiness, and you promise that you’ll always love him for him, not for what he could be or should be.

·         It’s exactly what he needs to hear. He knew there was a reason he came to you that night.

·         He still tries to not cry around you, but this experience helps him feel more comfortable in being vulnerable with you.

Donnie

·         Nearly as unlikely to cry as Leo, but not quite

·         His crying usually comes from tears of frustration more than anything

·         He’s a determined guy, and is hard-pressed to give up on something when he puts his mind to it

·         But man it’s aggravating when that tech he’s been working on for months just keeps blowing up or just won’t work and he can’t figure out why

·         That’s how you find him and see him cry for the first time. You come into the lair, rearing to have some fun with new tech Donnie said he was working on. When you get to his lab, he’s hunched over his desk. He didn’t notice you come in, and he sniffs a few times

·         Your hand on his shell makes him jump, and he tries wiping the tears away with the tails of his mask, asking you when you got here, how’s your day, oh no, he’s fine, just a bit of dust trailing in from the sewers

·         The air filter rattling at the desk makes that a bit doubtful

·         So you pull the paper screen he has nearby around the desk to give a bit more privacy and ask him what’s wrong. He tries to deny it – “it’s just dust, my eyes are tired from the screens,” etc. etc. – but then you ask about the little bug-like device sitting in front of him, and he sighs like all the world is wrong. It’s a new mobile spying device he’d been developing for tracking Foot Clan people in hard-to-reach places (i.e. lots of humans around), but its legs keep locking up, or the sound cuts out, and it’s so tiny and his hands are so big despite the tools he has specifically for that kind of stuff

·         A few more tears leak out, and he wipes them again

·         So you offer to help him with the little things – not just the bug, but getting him the water and food he’s been neglecting for hours as well

·         A full stomach always brings up anyone’s mood

·         You also force him to take a break and catch up on an episode of a TV show you’ve both been watching

·         He feels a lot better after all the care, and is so glad to have you around – especially when you get the bug’s legs working for the first time

Mikey

·         Oh he’s a crier, baby

·         If he hasn’t had a good cry in a month, something’s wrong. He fully subscribes to the belief that a good cry relieves stress lol

·         First time you see him cry is when you guys are just watching YouTube videos on your phone. One of those charity ads pop up for impounded and abused animals, and he is just gone. Sobbing into your shoulder, reaching for a blanket to wipe his nose on, the works

·         You’re just so caught off guard – like one minute you guys are laughing at some gamer playing Phasmophobia, the next he’s blubbering about the “poor kitties and dogs” and “why are people so cruel!”

·         Raph walks by and throws a tissue pack your way. “He’s gonna be there a minute. Get comfy.”

·         So you comfort Mikey, rubbing his shell and handing him tissues when one gets too soaked. His cry sessions usually morph into other things he’s been stressing or sad about, so it’s a lot of talking over the meaning of life, morals, etc. etc.

·         He even manages to get you to cry a bit, and then he’s comforting you about whatever you’re getting off your chest

·         Once it’s over, he’s back to his happy self, with a weight off his shoulders that honestly he didn’t realize was there

·         You learn to carry tissues in your pocket from then on – you never know when a stray kitten could set him off lmao

[spaceorphan18]

You know what.  

Random tangent time. 

I’m beginning to really dislike the whole Rotten Tomatoes discourse that’s happening these days.  I have nothing against the website itself, but the way people engage with it.  Not only is it annoying that people look at the number and whether it falls above or below a certain number as the sole determining factor as to whether or not something is good or not, but it strips away the context for which these numbers are giving and detracts from the audience using critical thinking skills.  

I’m thinking about the narrative around the Eternals right now, and how the critical consensus is that it’s not “fresh”, sitting at a score of 48%, where as the other MCU film (and one I think is the worst) The Incredible Hulk is sitting at a “fresh rating of 67%.  Is Hulk really better than Eternals?? No, it’s really not, but context matters. 

I think The Incredible Hulk is an incredibly dull film -- and as someone who watches a ton of superhero films, I think it’s uninspired, boring, and lacking anything to make it truly original.  But, I can see, based on the time period it came out, how it could reach a “fresh” rating.  Compared to a lot of other superhero films of the time period, it was coherent in its story and plotting, had decent production values, and was relatively entertaining --  especially when looking at those other said superhero films of the time.  I can see critics thinking that while it wasn’t an Iron Man (or The Dark Knight), at least it wasn’t the navel gazing original Hulk movie, or the other plethora of absolutely terrible superhero films that littered the cinematic landscape before it.  

Meanwhile, Eternals is now sitting at the other end of a superhero renaissance.  These films no longer have excuses to be bad, let alone mediocre.  There’s a standard bar that’s been raised when talking about the genre, and it’s expected, especially in the MCU, that you meet it.  And while I think Eternals is fine, I think it falls short on the expectations we (and critics) have for these films.  I can see how a lot of people could come to the conclusion that after a decade of really solid superhero films, it’s a shame that one with so much promise and hype doesn’t meet what we expect.  It can be disappointing.  

But the frustrating thing, to me, is that now these two films are going to sit beside each other and one is going to look as though it’s better than the other.  Is The Incredible Hulk better than Eternals? No, and while I think subjectivity matters (there will always be people arguing about what is actually better), I think objectively, overall, and in nearly every aspect of filmmaking, the Eternals is a better film.  But because one has a higher number than the other, media as a whole is already painting Eternals as the /worst/ MCU film.  Which is not fair at all, because it’s not having the conversation within the context these numbers are given. 

Which leads me to the notion that I’m just over this whole Rotten Tomatoes thing -- because people look at one number and decide whether its good or bad.  And the media doesn’t help, using these numbers as the only tool when they put up headlines for clickbait articles.  

*sigh* 

I suppose it’s too much to ask people to think for themselves, since all of history shows that most people are followers.  But I really wish that we, as a society, didn’t base our opinions around arbitrary measures that hinders the ability to think for ourselves.  

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 21

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, slight angst

; Word Count: 3.2k

; Warnings: Slight anxiety

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: Hopefully you all enjoy this :) please leave comments or feedback so I can see what you’re all thinking! :D

; Flower Masterpost

-

Hoseok was sitting on the other side of the coffee table in front of you, a small furrow in his brow as he examined the small tile in his fingers. His lips pursed, soft and rosy pink in the dim lighting you’d set up in the living room for tonight.

Neither of you had anything to do for the evening, with Hoseok’s friends going to a concert that he hadn’t been interested in. Apparently that was actually a band he didn’t like listening to, so he’d happily avoided attending. It meant that he had this Friday evening free, which in turn meant that he was with you for once.

The two of you had settled into a little routine over the last nine months. Hoseok would stay over four or five days a week, spending the remaining days either at his apartment or his parents. Occasionally even at his friends if they went to a concert or just had a night out.

Friday’s were his designated evening to spend with his friends. They would usually meet up at the bar they frequented or go to one of their houses, get drunk and rowdy. Or sometimes they’d go on a trip to a nearby city, spending the night there instead.

It had apparently been their tradition for a long time now, with Friday’s being the start of the weekend and no work. All of them got involved, though Namjoon and Amelia often ended up missing them due to their baby. Though you knew that Namjoon sometimes came along, sent by Amelia to enjoy a night with his friends.

You didn’t mind that he spent that time with them. In fact, you were glad of it. The last thing either of you wanted was to become so reliant on each other that neither of you spent any time with your friends. So you encouraged him to enjoy those Friday’s, knowing that you got the rest of the weekend with him.

Wednesday’s were your night with Chungha and Soyeon. The board games had returned frequently and sometimes, they even managed to coax you out to a restaurant where you would all happily talk about your lives, the state of the world and more. It felt nice, to know that you’d developed a routine that was drastically different to the one from a year ago but still solid enough that you felt stable with it.

It felt healthy, like neither of you were becoming too reliant on each other while still being able to have a good amount of time with your family and friends.

But tonight, you’d invited Hoseok to stay even though you normally never really saw him on Friday’s. Only if you’d specifically asked for him to stay free, such as when you took him to the beach house. He’s happily taken you up on your offer and had told you that he’d get Chinese takeout for you both, which had been greedily consumed an hour earlier.

And now...you were both sat playing a board game. A city and map building board game at that.

A snort left you as you wondered whether Hoseok would have ever expected to be playing Carcassonne on a Friday night with his girlfriend a year ago. You certainly wouldn’t have expected it. Not with someone who looks like him and has his tastes in music and entertainment.

Glancing up at you, Hoseok’s brow rises slightly before he places the tile down carefully. It lines up with the half of a city on another tile, and he carefully places the little wooden ‘meeple’ down in the middle of his now completed city. Looking at the points board, he moves his point keeping meeple up by two before giving you a big smile and taking the one he’d put on the tile off now it was completed.

“Two points...yeeeah.” He says happily and you laugh, shaking your head as you pick a tile from one of the three piles. Your tile has green grass and a little church on it, causing you to place it carefully in a free space in the middle of the map, a little ‘abbot’ meeple being placed on top. You smirk at him as you move your point keeping meeple up by eight before claiming your abbot back.

“Eight points...yeeeeah.” You mimic him, causing his eyes to narrow. It amuses you how competitive he gets in board games. He’d never really played any like the kind you played before he’d started dating you, and it was only in recent months that he’d started to show an interest.

That had made you excited, as you loved playing them and having someone to play with constantly meant you had already been eagerly searching websites for the games that you’d always wanted. As much as Chungha and Soyeon loved to play too, they weren’t too interested in the games that required more time and patience.

“You know...I can’t believe I’m getting overly into a board game where I’m making a city of all things.” Hoseok muses, almost bringing your own thoughts to life and you can’t help the laugh that leaves you. 

“I was literally just thinking that. It’s definitely not what I expected. But it’s fun right?” You say with excitement, beaming so wide to him. He pauses for a moment, just taking in your smile before sighing gently and nodding.

“Yeah...although it’d be more fun if you wouldn’t purposefully dick me over.” He gestures towards the city that he’d been carefully building over the game, the city getting larger and larger. It would be worth a lot of points to him.

Or it would be, if you hadn’t thought ahead and carefully placed a city tile a little further away from him with a big meeple on it. Those were worth double points...and they always took precedence over smaller meeples. When you’d causally connected your city up to his, it had meant that he’d lost the city to you.

There had been much outrage at first before he’d pouted for a solid five minutes. You’d been giggling at him the whole time, telling him that he’d better step his game up as in the game of Carcassonne, you either win or lose.

Not that he’d truly appreciated that, but he had been a little cunning since. Purposefully blocking your cities or roads so that they couldn’t be finished. It was all fun though, and you knew that he wasn’t really annoyed.

It was one of the things that made your heart burst about him; how he went along with your tangents on useless topics or actively engaged with your rants or simply listened as you speculated the stupidest stuff to him. You didn’t know many other people who would listen to you properly when you went off on a theory of how to reduce global warming.

That had a more memorable conversation including firing all the rubbish on the planet towards the sun, a mass snow maker in Antarctica to reduce the sea levels and so forth. And Hoseok had gone along with it all, no matter how silly the topic. Even actively contributing towards it.

He never seemed to make you feel stupid for the stuff you talked about. Your bizarre thought processes sometimes left him a little confused, you were well aware of that, but he tried to keep up with you and encourage whatever little thing had sparked your interest. 

In fact, you couldn’t really remember every actually causing Hoseok to get annoyed through the things that you loved. Sure, he got annoyed when you didn’t replace the toilet roll when it had run out, instead leaving it on top of the holder or when you didn’t clean the sink of toothpaste stains. He especially didn’t like your habit of barely hoovering and your lack of care about putting clothes away almost infuriated him.

Hoseok was a surprisingly clean man.

But he never got annoyed about things that you loved. Never made you feel silly about them or ashamed. And you loved that about him.

Smiling softly at him as he examines the new tile he’d picked up, his tongue sticking out of his mouth as he concentrates once more while his eyes can over the map, you feel the fluttering in your stomach once more. He looks tired, after a long week of work and you can see the shadows under his eyes.

His dark hair is tousled from where he’d run his fingers through it continuously throughout the day and his lips are ever so slightly dry. Humming to yourself, you stand up and quickly disappear to your bedroom before coming back, a small tube of lip balm in your hand. Handing it over to him, you smile as you gesture to his lips.

“Your lips look very dry right now.” He gives a smile of thanks, uncapping it and twisting it up before liberally applying it on. It’s rather ridiculous how good he looks with his now glossy lips but you don’t comment on it, instead leaning forward until you can rest your elbows on the coffee table, chin in your hand as you watch him.

Hoseok is too focused on trying to decide what to do that he doesn’t really notice your perusal. Either that, or he’s too used to it. You do this quite frequently, mostly because you’re perpetually surprised that you of all people managed to date someone like him.

“I l-” The words choke in your throat as you go to say them, your brain catching up with what your mouth was saying far too quickly. Your almost admittance of your feelings made you feel hot, but what made you feel even hotter was the frustration at how hard you found it to get these three words out.

You’d been trying to say them to him for a while now, but everytime you came close, your throat would tighten. Almost like it didn’t want the words to escape, like it wanted to hoard them to itself. You always struggled to talk about your feelings, but this felt even harder. This was something so intimate and personal to you, the words giving Hoseok the ability to hurt you in ways no one else ever has.

Your hands clenched into fists as your jaw sets, the pressure hard and you glare down at the table. It’s like an intense feeling of embarrassment and anxiety takes over every time you try to say it, your body flashing lightning hot and your muscles tensing as if you’re expecting the fright of your life. All because you want to say three words to him.

"You don't have to say it to me." Hoseok said softly, his voice far kinder and patient than it should be. Sometimes you wondered how he put up with you and your mood swings, but you knew why; he loved you.

You’re also not really surprised that he knew what you were trying to say, even if it had come out of the blue like this. He’d always shown that uncanny knack of simply understanding you. But it’s frustrating right now. He deserves to hear it out loud, to hear you say the words that had made you so happy when he’d told you.

"But I should. It's not fair to you." Moving around to your side of the table, Hoseok sits next to you with a smile. Gentle fingers cup your face, applying pressure until you're looking directly into those dark eyes you'd fallen head over heels for in the last few months. He deserved so much better than you and it made your stomach hurt to think that. You knew he'd berate you for that kind of mindset.

"Hey, I don't care about what's fair or not fair. I care about you. And your feelings and whether you're comfortable," Hoseok pauses, taking a deep breath before licking lips. "I've known since the very beginning that you're not great at communication. That's fine though, because I've learnt that what you don't say in words...you do in actions."

You frown at him in confusion, hand coming up to rest on him as you wonder what he means and he laughs in response, fingers stroking gently. If it was possible for someone to tell you that they loved you through pure motions alone, then it definitely felt like Hoseok was doing it right now.

"You've never told me that you love me in words. But you've been telling me for a while now that you do with what you do for me. When you buy me that stupid thing in a store 'cos it reminded you of me or you get my favourite cereal even if you hate it. When you watch films and programmes for me, or listen to my music because it makes me happy. When you make the effort to call me, even when you don't like it. When you come with me out with my friends, even if it makes you uncomfortable."

Your body feels warm at that, squirming in discomfort at his words. "Those are normal things, right? Isn’t that what girlfriends do for their boyfriend?"

Hoseok shakes his head in response. "No, well yeah. But you take it further. It's like you're always wanting to make sure I'm happy and content so you do everything to make that happen, no matter the cost to you. I worried that you're making yourself unhappy doing it, but then I watched you with your parents or Soyeon or Chungha and just realised...that's you. Some people say 'I love you' a lot, some people are physically affectionate...and some people do things to show their love."

There's a silence that falls after that, warm and filled with plenty of emotion you can't identify. You turn his words over in your head, chewing on them and realise slowly that he's right.

"I like to make people happy. If they're happy then I'm happy because I did something good." The words sound a little childish and you look away, hoping that he doesn't think they are too.

But he just wraps his arms around you, pulling you to him and hugging you tightly. Neither of you say anything for a moment, just letting the moment percolate just a little bit longer and you enjoy everything about him.

The strong feel of him against you, the warmth he radiates and security you feel in his arms. His addictive scent that sends a wave of pleasure through you as you bury your nose into his neck, inhaling deeply. You finally get what some people mean when they say that their partner feels like home, because while you may have only been together a few months, you have never felt more at home with someone before.

Hoseok shifts slightly and you feel a gentle pressure on your temple, the hard coldness of his piercing letting you know that it's his lips. He stays there for a moment, petal soft lips against your skin as he takes in a deep breath.

"I love that about you...you know that? You're very easy to please. You never want big fancy things or anything like that. Just...affection." His words are a tiny bit husky but you can feel the amusement laced through them, the flow slightly stilted as if he's not sure how to word things.

Pressing your forehead against his collarbone, you look down to where your hand rests on his thigh and take a deep breath. Mind racing, nerves dancing, stomach swirling and body tensing, you finally do it. You push through the fear and the anxiety that overwhelms your body and say what you’ve been trying to for so long now.

"I love you Hoseok." 

You're so quiet that you're not sure he's even heard you, but you're too focused on your hand on his thighs. As you say the words, you poke at the firm muscle lightly, almost as if by doing so then he'll be distracted and he won't hear.

But he does hear. Of course he hears.

You can feel the tremble through his body, the way his breath hitches ever so slightly and you feel hot all over with embarrassment. Which in turn makes you feel ashamed, because you shouldn't be embarrassed to tell the man you love, your boyfriend of nine months, that you love him.

And yet you are, because you struggle to talk about big and important emotions like this.

He understands though. Hoseok understands how big of a step this is for you, how important this is and how much nerve you'd had to build to finally let yourself say it. You still feel like throwing up, but part of you is elated to get it out.

"Yeah?" He whispers softly, nose running along your hairline and you nod in response. Staring firmly at the Iron Maiden band shirt, you poke gently once more at his thigh.

"I love you." This one is even quieter but he doesn't care. You can tell he doesn't care, because he simply hugs you tighter before pulling away to press a long, emotion filled kiss to your lips.

-

The two of you somehow managed to finish your game of Carcassonne, with you winning. Hoseok didn’t seem to care though, and once you’d both finished tidying it away, he’d been eager to pull you to the bedroom. It was there that you discovered perhaps the best sex you’ve ever had, all because both of you were feeilng particularly loved up and mushy.

And now, you’re incredibly sleepy as you lay against him, simply enjoying the feel of him and how at peace you feel with everything right now. How happy you are.

His chest is warm and firm beneath your cheek, rising and falling slowly as he breathes deeply while the comforting thump of his heart beats beneath you. Your hand rests on his chest as well, his sleep shirt covering up the inked skin but you imagine it clearly.

Hoseok probably never expected to meet someone like you when he'd signed up to Flower, and part of you still maintained that he was meant for someone better. Yet here he was, in your bed...in your arms...in your life...in your heart. And he'd openly welcomed you into his own.

You knew that you'd lucked out with him. Seriously lucked out, and you thanked whatever gods were out there for letting you be the one to catch his interest.

Silently, you let your fingers trail along him in a touch so light it was barely there. Reaching where his heart should be you gently press down in a gentle poke. A responding gesture on your back from him makes you jump slightly, looking up at his face only to see it still serene in its peacefulness. But you know he's not asleep, and you repeat the gesture once more on him.

He does it again and you grin, forcing yourself to stay quiet and motionless before you settle yourself down to sleep properly. Hoseok said that you showed your love in actions because it was easier than using words, and he was right.

It was easier and you felt far more comfortable doing it than saying it out loud. You'd already made up in your mind what the tiny, innocent gesture meant in your head. It said a lot about how well Hoseok knew you already that he'd figured it out so quickly too.

Poke, I love you.

[squishymochisoo]

the ghost, my past lover || seo changbin (ft. kim seungmin)

genre: angst

pairing: seo changbin x reader, kim seungmin x reader

words: 2.2 k

synopsis: the boy you once loved was gone. but why did you still see him around? you blocked everyone out of your life and surrounded your heart with an iron wall. how on earth did seo changbin manage to break through those walls?

trigger warnings: death

a/n: happy birthday to me (in a few hours)! as my birthday treat to myself, i decided to post something! enjoy! and let me know what you think about it!

i hate that i can’t seem to forget you.

i hate that you’re a part of my psyche.

why did it have to be this way? “y/n, clean up after yourself please” seungmin sighed from across the room as he saw you slouch against your bed frame laughing at some drama you were watching. seungmin scrunched his nose as he saw your different pair of socks littered all over the floor of your room. for the past 5 years, he has watched you hide yourself away, closing every door that has opened up for you. five years it’s been five years since his passing it’s been five years since seungmin’s passing you had pushed so many people away in the past five years and build up a wall that separated you and world. seungmin could tell you felt reluctant to start anew. he knew you felt as though you didn’t deserve happiness, especially if seungmin wasn’t there by your side. he knew you felt as though his passing was your fault. as though your loneliness was your punishment for someone you lost. did you think that your own happiness would bring yourself further guilt? maybe you felt that you would forget him and your past if you found your happiness once again. as you watched your drama, you slightly casted your eyes to the corner of the room, wondering what the figure was doing just standing there. even after years since his passing, you still see him around. 

at first you were afraid. but after a year, it felt as though the presence was really truly him, the boy you once loved. sometimes you could feel his burning stare on your back as you cleaned the house or as you trudge back into bed after a long day at work. 

when you first saw him a week, days after his passing, you thought it was just the lack of sleep from those sleepless nights you lay in your now empty bed. as those days of seeing him around became weeks, you thought it was just the devil playing tricks with you. 

but when you catch a glance on his face whenever you cried, a part of you knew it was your seungmin. 

although you knew, the boy you loved and lost was with you all throughout these years, you never approached him or signalled to him that you knew of his existence.

whenever you wanted to speak to him, whenever you felt like you needed him. a part of you just couldn’t. you missed him so much. but he was supposed to be gone. why has he been walking around your house and talking to you for the past five years? 

was it guilt? was it sadness? were you just trying to punish yourself that you got out of the mess unharmed but the consequences that came afterwards left a scar on your heart? 

some days seungmin trails behind you and nags at you for not cleaning up your apartment. or for ordering in instead of cooking at home. but what hurts most is when he mentions your friends. “seriously babe, you’ve got to talk to jisung, jinnie and lix. you can’t just cut off contact with our friends. they are so worried about you. go talk to them, do this for me please” he pleaded. do this for me.

those words stung your heart. you couldn’t blame him, he didn’t even know you could hear him. but sometimes you would hear him talk about his dreams that he wanted to achieve, what he wanted to do when he was still here. you felt guilty as if he was also putting the blame on you. you knew he would never blame you for what had happened, but a small doubt did live in your mind. ~ “get ready you’re going out!” jisung screamed through the phone. no matter your efforts to cut off ties, the boys never gave up … surprisingly. “no thanks, my boss wants a lot of paperwork done by monday.” 

“so? it’s friday. you have another two days to complete it. please boo, it’s my birthday today!” jisung whined through the phone. 

“fine.” you reluctantly agreed as you saw seungmin’s figure sitting at your desk swing his legs happily at your answer.

“yay! wear something nice!” he shouted as he hung up the phone. ~ “y/n! come here quick!” jisung gestured you over as he held a drink in his hand. you looked at the people around the table only to find that you only knew felix, hyunjin and jisung. you stared at the three other men confused. 

“okay! this is changbin, minho and chan! now that you know each other let’s drink!” jisung laughed as he downed a shot.

 “hi” you laughed awkwardly and sat yourself next to hyunjin. 

“felix told me you work as a reporter?” the one called changbin asked from your left. you smiled and nodded.

“yeah i usually report social issues. you?”

“oh, i work with children as a psychologist.” you eyes widened, not expecting his answer.

“wait, how do you know jisung?” confusion evident in your eyes that someone like jisung are friends with psychologists. not that jisung was not capable of doing so or anything. 

“i took music production as an elective in uni and met him” changbin laughed, understanding your confusion. 

~

you and changbin watched from the booth as the other boys danced their heart out. as much as  you hated the club, it was the twins birthday party after all. 

“you sure you don’t want to dance?” changbin asked gesturing to felix and jisung whooping while dancing. 

“maybe some other time then”

 “you know, you shouldn’t suppress yourself from happiness you know” changbin muttered from the side. you weren’t sure if you were meant to hear it or not. you turned to him, your eyebrows raised as if questioning his statement. 

“i didn’t mean it in a very harsh way, it’s just – just – occupational habit, that’s all” 

“it’s fine” you waved off. 

“i’m sure the twins and jin would have told you about my … situation. seeing as minho and chan were very careful when talking about jisung finding his true love tonight. but it’s been five years you can talk about it.” 

“well… if it’s really fine, i’d like to help you out. i’ll help you to try to stop you from suppressing your emotions and desires.”

“yeah, i really can’t afford a psychologist right now.” you let out a small laugh, although thankful for his kindness. changbin shook his head instantly.

“i’m not doing it as a psychologist but as a friend.” changbin pouted and gave you puppy dog eyes that made you reluctantly agree.

 “okay it’s settled! now what drink would you like?” changbin asked as he stood up. you kept quiet pondering if you should be drinking. 

 “y/n, you haven’t had the mojito here in so long. wasn’t it your favourite?” you could hear seungmin ask from beside you.

oh right. 

you almost forgot that seungmin has been there beside you this whole time.  

“i’ll get you a mojito then” changbin voiced, breaking your train of thoughts. the look of surprise on your face, made him laugh as he walked away. 

how did he know what’s what you wanted? 

~ 

“where are we going?” as asked changbin as you entered the car. 

“amusement park!” your face felt at the answer.

“oh”

“oh my god changbin no. y/n hasn’t been to an amusement park since i was gone and that’s where i you know – “  

you could hear seungmin question changbin from the backseat, nagging and scolding changbin for making such a decision. 

“take y/n ice skating! they love ice skating”  

“oh how about ice skating?” changbin asked you. 

your eyes widened in disbelief. 

can changbin see seungmin? was that possible? seungmin was not part of your imagination?  or did he find out about your hobbies through jisung?

“oh my god can you actually hear me?” seungmin exclaimed. 

“y/n likes any type of bread and cakes you can find. they really like rice not noodles. when they need cheering up just bring them to a karaoke room to sing their hearts out. y/n hates liars and despises lizards. they suck at cooking and can only make scrambled eggs.” you heard seungmin went off tangent on your likes and dislikes.  

you couldn’t help but let out a sad smile. he still remembered all those things about you.  

~

“that’s not fair!” you whined as you pointed to minho and hyunjin. the 7 of you crowded around your living room.

“stop giving minho money, hyunjin! he’s supposed to be bankrupt by now.” minho stuck out his tongue at you. 

monopoly games with the boys are always … intense. 

they never tried to hide the fact that there were cheating which frustrated you more as you tried to play fairly. 

you rolled the dice and gasp when your thimble landed on minho’s park lane with a hotel.

“i can’t afford to pay that!” you glanced at your money pile. as minho celebrated your loss, changbin piped in.

“i’ll pay for y/n!” you felt your ears heating up at the comment.

“ooooooohhhhhh, what a man!” jisung swooned from the side causing you to roll your eyes. 

“ you can’t do that, it’s against the rules!” hyunjin added. 

“ and since when have you played by the book?” chan laughed from the sofa watching the game. 

hyunjin huffed and pouted causing you and changbin to break out into laughs. 

it’s been about three months since you met the three boys and they have been a handful. changbin kept his promise and helped you out whenever you tried to suppress your emotions and desires and it a weird way it worked.  

~

‘no i need to know’ 

you thought as you paced back and forth in front of changbin’s office door before entering. 

“changbin.” you approached the man sitting at his desk in his office.

“i need to ask you a question. and please answer it truthfully. don’t deflect it and please don’t judge me.” you begged. 

“w-what’s going on?” changbin asked nervously unsure what you were going to ask. 

you pointed to his couch in his office. 

changbin following the direction of your finger. 

“do you see him?”

“what?” 

“what?”

both changbin and seungmin voiced at the same time. your lips quivered as you took in a breath.

“it’s too big of a coincidence that every time he talks about what i like, what i hate, my drink preference, my subway order and to even my dreams. you seem to echo what he says.”  

“y/n –”

“at first i thought jisung had told you everything about me. but there were things that even jisung couldn’t have known. from my first pet to my family?” 

you heard seungmin take in a deep breath. 

“ y-you could see me?” tears collect at your eyes as you heard his broken voice. 

“how did you know about ice skating and how did you know that i couldn’t go to amusement parks anymore, not after the accident.”

“why didn’t you tell me? why didn’t you tell me you could see me?” seungmin screamed out. 

more tears fell from your eyes are you looked at seungmin. 

“i couldn’t. not after what happened. i just couldn’t face you. it was my fault.”

“how was it your fault? it was nobody’s fault! i died due to my own negligence.” 

 you shook your head violently as you sobbed.

“i- if i didn’t force you on that roller coaster ride. n-none of this would have happened” you hiccuped.

“y/n, i didn’t tell you about my heart condition. you’re not to blame. please stop blaming yourself. you’re getting better and happier thanks to changbin hyung. please to this for me” 

 please do this for me 

you cried out and your breath quickened. you fell to your knees as you tried to gasp for air. 

“y/n, listen to me and take deep breaths” changbin held your shoulders.

 “deep breaths, “

“i didn’t know you could see him too, he told me a bit more about you and what happened. i couldn’t tell you because how absurd would that have sounded?”  

you nodded, understanding where changbin was coming from, tears still spilling from your face. 

“seungmin,” you started as you turned towards where you saw him last. only to find that he was gone. 

“seungmin!” you cried out looking for him around the room. 

~

 seungmin.

 the boy you once loved.  

the boy you never saw again. 

it was at that turning point , where you got better exponentially. changbin helped you moved on and sealed the scars that was once left on your heart.  

sometimes you felt like you weren’t ready to find love yet. a part of you still thinking you deserved this punishment, that part of you stopping yourself before your heart could skip a beat. 

 although… your cheeks heating up or your heat beating slightly faster whenever you saw changbin might prove you wrong.  

you deserved to feel loved. 

you deserved to be happy. 

although seungmin was the boy you once loved. 

changbin might just be the boy you love.

|||

hope you enjoyed this short fic! i wrote it quite quickly so forgive me for any grammar errors whatsoever.

also leave a comment or anon me about what you think of it! your critiques /comments do make my day!

[redhawtriot]

Caught in The Act (Bakugou x Reader x Todoroki)

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

Thanks so much to all of you who have followed this story! I remember that I started this series this month to celebrate my first 100 followers, but now I am up to 1000 of y’all? The fuck?

You guys are so supportive! I couldn’t ask for a better group of people to share my art with! Again, thank you so much!

HnM💕

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Finale:

She did not just call you crazy. And a bitch.

Fae’s eyes wildly flashed between you and her sister, “C-crazy bitch? I—"

“FIRST OF ALL, who the HELL do you think--” you cut yourself off before gently inhaling a pocket of air. You were sounding way too much like a certain explosive disgrace for your liking. You closed your eyes as you breathed out all of your frustrations.

“Hey, hey! What’s going on?!” Fae protectively shifted to fill the space between you and her little sister, “Farrah, there must be a mistake. This is my roommate, Y/N.”

Farrah.

A pretty name forever ruined by a slut.  

God, you wanted to beat her ass more than anything. It was as if all of your nerves were on fire and screaming a you to just do something.

Was this what Katsuki constantly felt like?

The violent beating of your eardrums was deafening and your vision was beginning to blur as you scowled at Fae’s sister.

Everything in your being yearned for you to switch to “instant kill mode”, but you couldn’t physically move. It was as if a small piece of you held your fury under control like a rabid dog on a chain-- or a parliament of higher beings had voted for you to keep your cool.

You sucked in one more time as your heart began to slow down. You gave one last, gentle huff as you continued to glare.

Farrah sent a scowl of her own back at you, “She is the one who—”

“This is the trash that slept with my boyfriend,” you deadpanned very flatly as your eyes slightly narrowed at her.  Fae’s jaw fell immediately at your words, but you continued talking despite her shock, “I just don’t see how she, of all people, could be upset in the situation. If you're upset at all, it should be at yourself. You have no class or self-worth, sleeping with an engaged man,” you crossed your arms as you reprimanded her and dared her to say something else as you intensified your stare.

You felt your heart jump as she stepped forward towards you, past Fae. It was as if it were excited by the idea that she may attack you so that you thoroughly beating the snot out of her would be justified.

Shit. What was wrong with you.

You kicked the persistent, animal-like thoughts off your leg as you continued to eye Farrah.

“You’re psychotic!!” she gasped as she threw her hands up, “I totally didn’t know Ground Zero even had a girl! psycho ass!”

Bull shit. You and Bakugou had both been plastered everywhere since your first sports festival at U.A. when you were fifteen. Since then you had both been in the eye of the media. It was pretty common knowledge that he wasn’t single. Your face scrunched up in disgust at her blatant lies as she continued, “She kicked me out of the apartment with nothing but my bare ass!!!”

“Yeah, you left your cheap ass, ratty ass clothes and your dignity that night too,” you rolled your eyes as the words flew out of your mouth.

“Woah, woah, woah! Calm down, everybody,” Fae looked as if she was on the brink of crying, “Farrah, I think you should leave for now, Okay?” She fiddled with her fingers.

“Yeah, I think so too.” As you pettily used your dancing fingers to wave, astonishment flashed across Fae’s expression. Honestly if your heart wasn’t thrumming against your chest so crazily right now, you would be horrified at how you were acting too, but the adrenaline that coursed throughout your body at the sight of the whore in the room numbed your mind.

Farrah struggled against her older sister as she tried to lead her away from the would-be battlefield, “No!! She is the one that needs to leave. You’re the one who pays rent around here, Sis!”

“Farrah, stop it!” Fae pleaded.

“WHY??” Farrah blurted before throwing a finger in your direction, “Newsflash, she is the one who is stealing your man from you now!” her voice raised an octave as she screeched, “Talk about hypocritical!” All of the color drained from Fae’s face as she threw horrified glances between you and her sister. Her mouth stumbled over itself as she tried to find words.

Your eyebrows congregated to the middle of your forehead as you tried to decipher the meaning of Farrah’s words.

Todoroki? Is that Fae’s man?

As if on cue, the front door to the house casually slid open, revealing a tired Todoroki.

All of the chaos that had been ensuing inside immediately halted as Todoroki froze in the doorway. His eyes snapped around as he saw the loose papers from Fae’s books that you hadn’t even noticed that you had thrown around with your quirk in your frustration, your completely furious expression and defensive stance, and Fae’s horrified form struggling to hold onto her crazed sister.

It was a lot to interpret.

“What… is going on,” he calmly questioned before he was assaulted with a boom of feminine screams.

“TELL HER TO LEAVE!”

“NO, TELL HER TO LEAVE! SHE DOESN’T EVEN LIVE HERE.”

“FARRAH, STOP!”

“NEITHER DO YOU, WHORE.”

Todoroki blinked in shock at the words that flew out of your mouth. He had never heard you used such a tone or choice of words with anyone—not even when you were against villains at U.A.. He hated to see you so upset, but he had no idea what to do with all of these women yelling at him, “Uh, Y/N...? Should we talk?” He questioned, causing Farrah to roll her eyes before she mouthed the word “see?” To her sister.

You huffed once more as you stormed towards the man, “Okay...” You begrudgingly agreed as you walked outside of the door, not even bothering to look him in the face. You couldn’t bring yourself to. Something just didn’t sit right with you.

As soon as he shut the front door behind him and walked down to the driveway a bit to meet up with where you had stormed off to, you threw a curve-ball at him,

“Just what is Fae to you?”

The question completely caught him off guard, but he immediately answered anyway, “Our roommate?”

“Obviously. But like. Did you and her… ever you know…” the thought alone made you feel queasy, “have something romantic.” You could have thrown up right then and there.

But his lack of reply made you feel a different type of sick. You blinked in surprise as the silence ensued before you spoke up, “You’re kidding,” you blurted.

“It’s not at all what you are thinking. There was chemistry for sure, but nothing ever happened. It wasn’t strong like you and I. When you came back there was no doubt in my mind that me and her were nothing.”

“That’s not what I’m upset about,” you threw pinched fingers to the brige of your nose and shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts, “Jesus, that poor girl.” So you really were just as much of a homewrecker, huh?

You thought there was one whore in that house but there were two.

“Fae is fine,” Todoroki moved to place a hand on your shoulder but you shifted away. He looked a bit shocked as he continued, “She had been dating here and there. She’s unaffected by the situation,” he calmly argued.

“God, Todoroki. That’s not the point,” you searched around your jacket pocket for your car keys. You had to get out of here. Even if you were in your house shoes.

“Im sorry, did I do something? Where are you going?” Todoroki’s calm demeanor slightly cracked as panicked undertones filled his question.

“I need to think,” you simply replied. Upon seeing his worried expression you immediately changed your answer, “I’ll… be back, okay? I just need a drive. We are still cool, okay? Friends,” you tried to sound enthused at the word.

“Okay… be safe.”

You slightly nodded at him before getting in your car and driving off.

You couldn’t believe it. You were slowly becoming everything that split you an Katsuki apart.

Your phone violently vibrating against your leg sent you flying out of your thoughts. Jesus, Kiri. He always called when you were trying to drive your frustration away—literally.

You groaned as you answered the phone.

“Hey!” His chipper voice had a slight undertone of panic to it, but your frustrated mind completely ignored it,

“What,” you deadpanned.

“Oh god, this isn’t a good time is it…?” he nervously laughed, causing your face to instantly shrivel up into a scowl,

“Just tell me what the fuck you want, Kirishima!” you blurted. A long silence filled the line, causing you to breath out heavily in a deep sigh. Way to go.

It was as if you were taking notes straight out of Katsuki’s book today. You just cursed at the sweetest guy on the planet. I mean, you might as well have just stomped on a puppy with both feet, “Look. I am sorry. I didn’t mean that... it’s just a long day…”

A pathetic excuse really. You realized this as soon as it came out of your mouth.

Kiri, being the happy souled fool he was, wholeheartedly accepted your pathetic excuse, “Maybe I should call back then...?” he suggested kindly.

“No, its okay, Kiri. What’s up?” you tried to smile as if he could see you—as if this gentle gesture would make up for how much of a colossal bitch you had just been.

“Well...” he dragged,  “Don’t you think maybe that it is about time you picked up your things from our apartment?”

You sighed, “…it’s really not a good time for me. I just..”

“WE CAUGHT THE HOUSE ON FIRE,” he cried out suddenly.

You held the phone closer to your ear as if you hadn’t heard him correctly, “Um. W-hwhat…?”

As soon as you spoke it triggered a tangent from the redhead, “Bakugou was really mad because he found out about you and Todoroki a few hours ago and he came home and wanted to vent his frustrations out, and we both know what that means, so we got to fighting and I punched him really hard, totally not manly of me by the way, and I pissed him off and then he exploded me and we set the house on fire!” he gasped for air, “I am so sorry!!” he exclaimed in a higher tone.

Your mind spun as you tried to take in all of the information that was being thrown at you at once. Finally it settled into your brain, “Oh my god!” you gasped, “Is he… is Katsuki okay?!”

“Yeah he is fine. He’s is in the hospital,” he brushed off.

“What!?! Where?!”

He quickly corrected himself at the sound of your heartbroken voice, “No, no! Not like that!” For some reason the concern in your voice for Bakugou made him happy, “He just needed a few little burn treatments! Anyway, we will probably be released tomorrow morning or night from the hospital, but—”

“We?!” you screeched.

“Yeah, I—”

“Kiri please tell me you did not just call me from a hospital bed,” you shook your head furiously.

“I just wanted to tell you that you should go pick up your things while Bakugou isn’t there, well what’s left of it anyway,” he gave an uneasy chuckle.

“Isn’t it still hot?”

“One of the firefighters had a cold quirk so everything turned out okay after they showed up. No other apartments were affected at all actually!” You still couldn’t believe this was all happening. You honestly hadn’t planned on grabbing your things from the apartment so soon. Then again, it had been months hadn’t it?

“So, are you going?” Kirishima snapped you back to reality.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll head over there right now,” you absentmindedly nodded even though he couldn’t see you. You hung up the phone after the two of you had spoken your farewells, but you could hardly remember the rest of the drive as you stood in front of your old home.

Your mind felt entirely numb as you gawked at the tall, polished building.

The crime scene—where the dreams that you had been building since you were fifteen years old came to die a gruesome death. You swiftly ducked under the fitting yellow tape as you made your way into the scorched portion of the home—your old room.

It was pretty much the only area that had been affected by the disaster as the rest of the home basically look exactly as you had remembered it to be—well minus the manly mess that Kiri tended to leave behind. You assumed Katsuki had been more strict on house rules since you left.

You walked up to what was left of your grandmother’s dresser and traced your fingers along the crumbling edges of the wood. You ended your trail as your fingers found their way onto an old frame. You couldn’t tell if picture was okay since a film of ash painted the fractured glass, but the frame seemed fine, as it resided in an area that hadn’t been touched by the inferno.

So then why was the glass cracked?

That’s when it hit you—it must have been the object that you had thrown at Farrah that night. You remembered that you threw something at her that shattered, but you never bothered to find out what.

Why the hell didn’t Katsuki fix it?

You curiously, but cautiously wiped the glass with the edge of your shirt.

What was revealed was the first picture the you and Bakugou had ever taken together. He was tied to a pole with a muzzle on at the U.A. sports festival award ceremony your freshman year. You had been standing next to him as he stood on the first-place podium on your very own third pace spot.

The memory quickly flooded into your mind.

That day when you fought him was the first time that he had ever acknowledged you. He actually congratulated you in his own way you supposed. He told you that you put up a really good fight. You couldn’t help but to shake your head at the recollection as a smile dared to pull the corner of your lips up.

“Y/N?” A loud, rough voice caused you to jump suddenly before you whipped yourself around. What you saw surprised you,

Katsuki? But he’s not even supposed to be here! Especially with bloodied bandages placed throughout his scratched up body!!

He looked just as surprised as you, “What the fuck?!” he exclaimed.

“That’s my line, you ass! I thought you were in the hospital!” you cried out as you hurriedly dropped the frame into a bag you had been using to gather some of your things.

“I’m fine,” he quickly readjusted his face from the previously shocked expression, “They’re crazy if they thought I was gonna stay overnight.”

“Jesus, Katsuki,” you shook your head in disappointment.

“What?!” he barked.

You simply continued to shake your head as you attempted to rush past him, “Nothing. I’m leaving.”

“Wait! Don’t,” he suddenly reached out to grab you but you harshly shrugged him away before sending a glare at him,

“Why? Have something to say?” Of course he didn’t. He hadn’t reached out to you in all of this time. Not since the day everything went down. But then again, he hardly talked with you when you lived together, so why would he even bother speaking to you after you broke up.

Still, a piece of you yearned for him to care about you enough to speak up as you searched his eyes for an ounce of affection. You saw none—just hurt and a splash of his usual flavor of rage.  

“That’s what I thought,” your voice surprisingly croaked as you spoke. You turned away from him and began to walkaway, halting as he called out to you once more,

“You and Icyhot? REALLY?” he roared behind you, “I bet you were just waiting on me to fuck up so you’d have an excuse to crawl back to him, weren’t you?”

You whipped yourself back to furiously scowl at him. Of course that’s the first thing he wants to talk about after all this time, “You have zero right to judge me for moving on quickly even if I was fucking him!”

“So you’re not?!” he didn’t sound very convinced as he stormed up to you.

“Bakugou, that’s none of your business!” you didn’t back away as you challenge him. He hated it when you used his last name, “So what if I am?!” you exclaimed as tears pricked the backs of your eyes.

“I gave you a damned ring—we were getting married next fucking month!!” as his voice cracked your eyes were drawn to his arms that he intensely held on either side of him. His hands were quietly quivering in rage as he continued, “Of course it’s my fucking business!”

You snapped back regardless of his dangerously pissed off state. He is still trying to defend himself like he did nothing wrong after all this fucking time, “I gave you my ENTIRE being Katsuki!! I gave you my trust and my whole heart and everything else I could muster up and more!!!” You screamed at the top of your voice. Tears freely rolled down your tired cheeks at this point,

“So fucking what if you gave me a hunk of metal with a few gems?! What else did you give me? Huh?! What else did you offer up to me? Affection? Consideration? Loyalty??” your voice heavily cracked on the last word as you stared at the seemingly unphased man in front of you.

He held a glare as if it were permanently plastered onto his expression, yet he didn’t say anything in return, so you continued speaking after shakily gathering up a spare breath,  “God, I still think about you in practically everything that I do…” you cried as you pathetically stared at the ground in front of you. Bakugou’s fierce red eyes continued to burn holes into your image as you spoke,

“…but you probably only care that some other man is stomping around on your territory. You haven’t even reached out to me past the initial weekend when shit hit the fan,” you looked back up to see him still glaring at you intensely. You couldn’t tell if he was judging you or if he hated you. Probably a mix of the two.

What a condescending asshole.

“What?! Stop fucking looking at me! Say something dammit!” you pushed him away from you and was surprised by how good it felt, “Anything!!” you pleaded as you pushed him back again towards the living room.

He still said nothing as he threw his glare away from you and toward the ground. You groaned in annoyance before shoving him back again. Why was he always so damn quiet when you actually wanted him to speak up?

“Fight me back, dammit!” you didn’t even care that you sounded like him anymore. Maybe it’s what he wanted from you the entire time as his mastermind meticulously chipped away at the persona that you had been building all of your life. Well, if it’s what he wanted, you would be more than happy to oblige in this case, “You like to pick fights don’t you?!” you screamed as you used your entire body and shoved him once last time, actually tripping him.

The two of you fell and you toppled on top of him as your tears transformed into sobs, “Just do something, you grimy ass bastard! I know you want to!” you weakly pounded against his chest as sobs continued to tear themselves from your throat.

Bakugou truthfully had no words to speak as he watched your heartbroken form collapse on his chest.

He wanted so desperately to say something.

He wanted to tell you everything that he was feeling, and more than anything he wanted to hold you close to him and comfort you.

But it was as If something in the fibers of his being stopped him from doing so as you laid broken on top of him.

It had always been that way with you.

Every time he had opened his mouth to say something affectionate to you, something vile and downright disrespectful would fly out instead. Every time he wanted to reach out to you and touch you gently, all of the wrong muscles spasmed and he would do something completely erroneous.

It had been easier to neglect you at the time, rather than face you and hurt you, or fix himself even. But it was beyond fixing himself now.

Even so, he wanted to show you at least once that he was capable of doing something fucking right.

He owed you at least that.

He closed his eyes and he sharply grabbed your face and pressed it down onto his own as gently as he could. His hands were still shaking, not from anger as you had assumed, but from fear. He was terrified that you would completely abandon him without ever knowing how much he cared about you.

You whimpered into his mouth out of pure surprise as he continued to move his lips against your own, but you almost instantaneously settled down against him as relief surged throughout your body.

It felt as if a weight had been lifted from your being.

You found yourself kissing him back for only a moment more before you yanked yourself away from him, “No… no, no Katsuki….” You softly cried with wide eyes as you scooted away from him, “What are we doing!?”

“I know it’s over,” he said very flatly, “Between us, I mean.”

The sentence unexpectedly sent your heart falling deeply into your chest, “Wha—”

“Just shut up a moment and listen to me,” he interrupted you sharply. A thick silence enveloped the two of you for a beat as he seemed to internally kick himself for his harsh wording before he awkwardly shifted himself to sit next to you. His arms struggled to find their way around you as he lamely gathered you into his arms and pulled you close to him, “Just…. don’t look at me,” he grumbled, “I won’t be able to say the shit that I mean if you look.”

You couldn’t even find the time question what he had meant as he quickly continued,

“You... are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I know I didn’t always act like it, but it’s true, dammit. I know that I couldn’t show it to you. It’s like my mind and my body were split on what to do. I wanted to hold you like this every night, but my body just wouldn’t let me… It’s just so damn confusing,” he finished with a croak.

He shook his head at himself before continuing, “I should have fucking done it anyway. I should have woken up early to make you breakfast more than just the once. I should have worked less so you wouldn’t have to spend days without me. I should have given you that ring sooner. I never should have slept with that woman. Drunk or not—but that goes without saying. I am so sorry, Y/N. You did not deserve this.”

You couldn’t help but to look up at him, but your heart broke as you saw heavy tears falling from his eyes.

He could feel your eyes on him but he found the resolve to continue regardless, “Anyway, I know it’s over now. I can feel it. What we had is over,” he fought himself from sobbing, “I’ll never see that ring on you again, and I don’t deserve to either. I didn’t deserve a lot of things I got growing up, but I definitely didn’t deserve you,” he sounded as if he was trying to convince himself, “I don’t think I can change who I am to be what you need me to be. You deserve more than what I can give you right now. And....” he tried to pull the words out of himself, “if Half n’ Half can do it, then I should let you go that way.”

He sighed. You weren’t sure if you had ever heard him sigh before. It shocked you as he continued, “I used to think you were keeping me from winning, and I was stupid to think that,” he rested his head on top of yours, “I’m just dragging you down onto my level at this point,” he shook his head, “but I won’t let that shit happen,” he finally dropped his face to look you in the eyes, “I love you so much, Y/N,” he whispered to you before pressing a painful kiss onto your forehead.

Was this even the same man you had known for almost half of your life?

“I-I love you too. I really do,” you stuttered as astonishment enveloped your body. The two of you sat in a bittersweet silence for a few moments before his gruff, substantially more put together voiced sounded once more,

“As much I hate to say this,” he lowly began as he moved you over and stood up, “you should go,” he held a hand to you to help you up.

Your hand faltered toward his own before you reluctantly accepted his gesture, doubts filling you mind. Bakugou, ever perceptive, noticed your reluctance and immediately cleared the air as he opened the front door for you,

“If Mismatch ever treats you half as bad as I did, I will set him on fire,” he lowly stated. The Bakugou you grew up with suddenly reappeared.

“He has a fire quirk… I don’t think that will work,” you tried to joke, but honestly your heart was hurting so much.

“Fucking watch me,” he smiled at you.

Genuinely smiled.

Your heart melted at the rare scene in front of you and your weak legs could barely make it out of the door.

After moments of staring at each other, you returned a small, sad smile at him before you walked out of the apartment and shut the door behind you.

What... just happened? You turned back around to face the door and placed your hand on the knob. You let it sit for a moment before you slowly retracted it, cursing under your breath.

On the other side, Bakugou knew that he had made the correct decision letting you go to Todoroki, but the pain in his heart begged him to follow after you.

However, the doubts and reluctance to do so further solidified his decision. He wasn’t ready to be the man you needed. Yet.

He had a lot of maturing to do before he could truly love his soulmate.

Soulmate.

The thought sent flutters into his worn down heart.

A reminder of the faith that he had that you two would find your way back to each other one day.

[cotncandyboifics]

1989 [High School AU]: Chapter 7

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 8 ~ Chapter 9 ~

Pairings: slight Logince, eventual Prinxiety & Logicality

Word count: 2,142

Story summary: Roman Prince is your stereotypical Jock, with everyone swooning after him. Every day a crowd of people follow him around, only to disperse at his personal whim. In reality, he's lucky to have such good acting skills that help him cover up the disdain he has for his life. He only wishes he could use his skills properly.

Patton Whitelock's always there to lend a helping hand, no matter who you are. If you need a favor or just need someone to talk to, go to him. In reality, he's been taught from a young age that kindness should be held above all else. No one suspects that he took it the wrong way.

Logan Montgomery is the smartest boy in the Senior class. He's stern, and most people are too intimidated to speak to him. In reality, he despises most all of his fellow students. He sticks to his studies and doesn't stray, for fear of being stuck in his father's shadow his whole life.

Virgil Black is the most emo kid in school, let alone 12th grade; everyone knows to leave him be. In reality, he's very fortunate. He has two parents who love him dearly. But everything beyond his life, everything within his mind, is utter chaos and turmoil.

what will happen when they're assigned a biology project together?

General CW: food, swearing, implied s-lf h-rm, non-graphic descriptions of s-lf h-rm scars, graphic and non-graphic descriptions of anxiety attacks and panic attacks, drug abuse, minor character intoxicated on heroin, non-graphic drug overdose description, sickness/description of sickness, blood, non-graphic descriptions of needles, (will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: food, implied starts of anxiety attacks, (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: whenever I reread this chapter I'm not sure whether the point of it is clear to the reader or not... but I'm not sure how to rewrite/fix it lol

...

Finally, it was Friday. Between classes, Virgil was pacing quickly down the hall when he noticed Logan exchanging things from his locker. He also saw Roman approaching the tall boy, adorning a mischievous smile. Virgil decided to slip out of sight behind the bustle of the hallway to observe their interaction, staying hidden near the walls.

Roman stood directly behind Logan and tapped him on the shoulder. Logan turned fully around, and upon seeing Roman, he opened his mouth to speak. He was quickly was interrupted, however, as Roman put his hand against the locker at Logan's side, and traced his other hand down Logan's button-up-covered chest. Logan was pinned against his open locker. Virgil couldn't make out the things Roman was saying to him, but Logan looked blatantly... caught off guard, to say the least. His pearly white cheeks were dusted pink. After a few moments, he pushed Roman aside and made to leave, but Roman grabbed him by the tie and pulled him back. They'd switched positions, Logan having put his pale bony arm out to stop himself from falling. Roman was still pulling his tie, smirking and looking into his eyes deviously. Virgil read Roman's lips and thought he saw "-if you're into that." Logan was clearly getting frustrated and forced his tie away, collecting his book bag from the floor and shooing Roman so that he could close his locker. Virgil saw Logan speak, and made out something like "I'll be late for class."

What a couple they made. Virgil felt something heavy growing in the pit of his stomach. Roman had left to go to his class as well, and the halls were becoming more and more empty as students filed into various classrooms. Finally the bell rang, and Virgil felt like he couldn't move to save his life. He started scratching his wrist and felt his breathing become uneven. No, not here, not now. He forced himself to breathe normally and made his way to his next class.

...

Later that day, Patton was lying on Virgil's bed, throwing a bouncy ball up and catching it in a slow rhythm. Virgil was seated at his desk right beside Patton, vaguely attempting to finish his French homework. Not like it'd be due until Monday anyway.

Patton and Virgil had been good friends from a young age, and usually hung out like this around twice a week. Every now and then they'd do something special, but usually it was just being together and talking.

Virgil knew a lot about Patton, more than most people do. He knew about his best friend's current... sticky home situation, and so he never questioned it when Patton came up to him later in the school day with a sorrowful glint in his eyes, asking if they could go back to Virgil's house that evening.

"Do you think they had a nice date yesterday?" Patton said after a minute or two of calm silence. Virgil looked over at him. He'd stopped throwing the ball, and was now inspecting its strange colorful surface, scratching at little flakes of plastic that hung off its seams. Virgil thought to himself how it was so strange that these types of bouncy balls always seemed to practically glow when exposed to light, even though they had no sparkles or shiny qualities about them.

"I guess I don't know. Roman might have ruined it with his overconfidence and ridiculous antics," Virgil finally replied, leaning back in his chair and staring at the ceiling. "Especially if he did something like take them to some 5-star family-owned Italian restaurant where you get kicked out unless you're wearing a waistcoat and you have to make a reservation a year in advance," he mused. Patton giggled a little.

"Yeah, that sounds like Mr. Prince," He offered a little quieter than he wanted to. Virgil eyed him with concern.

"You haven't really been thinking much of it, have you?" Virgil turned fully toward his bespectacled friend now, who was just staring blankly, clutching the bouncy ball to his chest. "I mean, I don't think it'll be much of a distraction to our project than Roman already is. And besides, I really doubt that Logan will go for a second round," Virgil dismissed the notion bitterly, and Patton wondered when Virgil had developed such a resentment against Roman.

"Well," Patton started, sitting up and pulling his legs into a criss-cross applesauce, "I'm surprised Logan wanted to in the first place. I don't think he has ever dated anyone, let alone someone so..."

"I know what you mean." Virgil got up to sit criss-cross applesauce with his friend on the bed. They looked at each other and giggled a little, remembering how they used to do this as little kids. They were just like brothers in a way.

Virgil noticed Patton pulling at his ring again, and knew something was up. "Hey," He said, taking Patton's hand. Patton looked up at him nervously from behind his big round glasses, his blonde curls hiding the top trims. "What's up?"

Patton made a noise that was something between a scoff and a sigh, looking away but not pulling away. "I just..." He thought for a long moment on how to begin what he wanted to say without saying what he didn't want to say... not yet, anyway. "I want Logan to be happy. He's a, good friend," A smile curled at the edges of his mouth. "I don't think Roman makes him... unhappy, per se. I think they could be really," Patton pulled his hand back and started fidgeting with his ring again, "close... but I don't know if, them being together will make Logan happy. W-will make either of them happy." He looked up at Virgil then, who was stoic. "I-I mean, i know it isn't really any of my business to worry about. I know I don't really know... anything about their date or..."

Virgil gave a somber smile. "I know what you mean. I feel it too. I mean, they don't seem to... clash correctly," Virgil meshed his fingers together as a visual metaphor. "They don't fit quite right into a relationship box together. And i don't think Roman is enamored with him in the way he says he is, or acts like he is." That bitter tone resurfaced in Virgil's voice again, and Patton took note of it.

He looked up, curls bouncing slightly. "What do you mean by that?" Virgil returned his eye contact, and Patton looked like he was hiding some emotion. Maybe... anger?

"Well..." Virgil thought about what he'd said. Specifically a certain song and a certain moment that had given him the notion that, as much as Roman acted confident, when he was truly falling for someone... he might act quite the opposite. Virgil felt his cheeks heat up, and Patton's expression changed.

"Is there something you know that i don't?" Patton pressed. Not maliciously, but curiosity dripped from his voice. Virgil brought his fingertips to his cheeks and wondered how they'd gotten so hot so quickly.

"Well, I, I just..." Virgil stuttered for a long moment. "I suppose it seems like, i don't know, like, maybe if Roman were really, um, that is to say, maybe, he would be, if he were really, you know, into someone, like that, like, um," He was talking with his hands too much, and Patton noticed his breathing becoming more like heaving. He took Virgil's frantic hands.

"Hey, take a sec," Patton's voice was coated in caramel. Virgil finally made eye contact again. "Breathe, bud," Patton said even calmer and sweeter this time. Virgil's attention suddenly switched to his breathing patterns, which he now noticed were getting rather erratic. He took a moment to reconcile himself.

"Sorry, I went off on a bit of a tangent there... but, as i was saying, or, trying to say," Virgil continued to stumble his way to his point, but with more purpose this time, "... Roman, strikes me as the type, to seem... like he wouldn't act the way he does with Logan if he were in love with him, maybe," He was fiddling with his own fingers now. "but i have a feeling that he might be... a bit of a softie. I mean, what i mean is, he... If he really likes someone I think he wouldn't be able to be his... y'know... confident, jock, witty-remark-shooting self. If that, makes any sense."

"huh," Patton said after a moment of consideration. "Well that's possible. I don't really know honestly. I haven't spent a lot of time with the guy, and whenever i do he always seems to be that same confident person. Well, except with you, sometimes."

"Huh? Me? What?" Virgil was blatantly alarmed. Patton hadn't meant to cause this alarm, so he replied gently.

"Oh, no no kiddo, i just mean like... Y'know how you two are always sorta, bickering or debating or poking fun at each other?" Virgil nodded. "Well, I've just noticed, that sometimes when you make certain comments or whatnot, he sort of... Loses himself. His persona. It kind of falls away, and he seems sort of lost for words." Virgil looked even more alarmed than before. "I-I don't mean that that's necessarily because of you, I just, it's just the only time i have seen him react in that way and... I don't know. It probably happens with him all the time when I'm not around. Or whatever. I don't know. I'm sorry." Patton spoke so quickly that Virgil hardly heard each word. He was just trying to calm himself. Was it so obvious?

"Well." Was all he could muster in reply.

"Anyhow, I think I agree, at least that something seems a little off... I hope it is anyw-" Virgil trained his eyes on Patton. "I mean- I, uh, I-I don't know where that came from! I don't hope, that- I don't hope anything bad for either of them! I didn't- I didn't think, I just-"

"You just have a crush on Logan?" Virgil was still staring at Patton, mischief peeking around the edges of his pupils.

"Wuh-- What!!!" Patton couldn't say anything else; he just grabbed the nearest pillow and shoved his face into it. Virgil heard an indignant "no I don't" from the pillow as he put his hand on his best friend's shoulder.

"Patton, buddy. It's okay." Virgil just awkwardly patted the shoulder of Patton's balled up form.

"Does everyone know!?" He looked up finally, his nose running slightly. He wasn't crying, but even so, sometimes when he got emotional or embarrassed his cheeks turned deep rosy and his nose started running. Just another little quirk about him that Virgil always kept close to his heart.

"Well, it is plain as day," Virgil started while Patton's eyes seemed so somehow grow larger, "But Logan and Roman have no clue, as far as I can tell. Logan wouldn't know you liked him unless... well, unless you asked him on a date apparently," Virgil chuckled slightly, remembering the bizarre interaction between Roman and Logan on Monday. "And Roman is always too busy bothering Logan to pay attention to what you're doing," Virgil propped his chin up on one of his hands. "But objectively, it is pretty obvious."

Patton was deflated, blonde curls doing their best to bashfully cover his eyes now. He put his face back into the pillow on his lap. Virgil heard a muffled "I'm sorry."

"What? Why are you sorry?" Virgil rubbed his back now.

"I don't know. I'm sorry to Logan mostly. And to myself." His shrunken form shook slightly. Virgil hoped he wouldn't start crying.

"Ohhhh come on," Virgil awkwardly attempted to comfort him. "No one knows, and besides, it's no big deal. You'll be alright. Most likely, nothing will happen, and you can just eventually move on with your life. And heck, maybe you'll get your chance with him."

Patton's curls shook again as he looked up, eyes the size of the moon. "You really think so????" He asked in earnest. clear snot streams ran down from his nostrils and over his lips now, and his whole face was like a tomato. Virgil laughed airily.

"...It's always possible," he said almost under his breath. He wondered if he was reassuring himself or Patton more.

They sat in silence for a short moment, Virgil shaking his slender fingers through his vibrant purple bangs. I should re-dye my hair soon. The roots are starting to show.

"Wanna get some ice cream?" Virgil asked eventually. Patton's eyes lit up.

"Yeah! Did your mom get Grasshopper Pie again??? I love that stuff so much!" They got up off Virgil's bed together to head down the hall to the stairs.

"Actually, my mom tried making some herself this time," Virgil shut his bedroom door behind them.

"Ooh, really!?!?! I'm so excited to try it then!" Patton squealed, overjoyed as a small child would be. It was as if all of his troubles had dissipated like seeds in the wind. Another thing Virgil admired about Patton.

He hoped everything would be okay.

[fallenrepublick]

Ma’am. I just discovered your work on accident and kriff I’m obsessed. If possible could you do something along the lines of Obi Wan being his flirty self in front of maul and making him super jealous? Sorry if that’s a lousy request 😅

Nah, that’s a great request! It turned into... something I wasn’t expecting it to turn into so let me know how you felt about this

Also I had no idea where this could fit in continuity-wise so I just created a situation that doesn’t exist, because I have zero (0) percent creativity

Warnings: None

The town square was particularly beautiful that morning, cobblestone pathways reflecting the sleek light of the noontime sun. With a small amount of time on your hands, you had wanted to while away a few hours by the large fountain that sat right in the middle. Book in hand, you sat yourself right at the edge of the water, periodical droplets poking at you like blunt embroidery needles to make sure you weren’t totally lost in the inky world in front of you. The time spent alone wasn’t to last, though.

An ill-defined silhouette slid over the pages you were open to, causing you to snap out of your trance and tilt your head up to your intruder. Your first thought was that Maul had managed to pull away from the endless piles of work that only seemed to grow bigger as he picked away at it. This was not the case.

Before you was a young man, reddish hair and beard covering angular features. Kenobi. His head was tilted and his arms crossed in front of him as if he were trying to see what it was you were so focused on.

“I haven’t had time to read much lately,” he began, coming to sit down beside you, light creamy robes draping off the stone edge. “It was mostly my master who enjoyed books, though I do appreciate a classic every so often.”

Oh boy.

The good news was, he clearly didn’t know who you were. “Actually, I haven’t been reading much lately either. I’ve been so busy…” You smiled at him, his blunt friendliness feeling nice after a while of being surrounded by less-than-friendly people.

He swung his arm behind him, leaning back onto it, but tilted just enough towards you that you noticed. “What might the book be about?”

“It’s a really old one.” Your voice perked up at his question, choosing to ignore his movement. “Mainly about centuries old wars, before Jedi or Sith or anything like that were really established. I’m sure a lot of it is embellishment, but the concepts are fascinating, and I think the timeline goes up to the Order’s eventual origin on Tython.”

He seemed surprised at your answer, as if he were expecting you to go on some tangent about fairy tales or romantic adventures. All of those things were exciting, no doubt, but it is also beneficial to know one’s history.

“And this is all of your own volition?” he asked, chuckling lightly. “You’re not being forced to study?”

“Trust me, if that were the case, I’d be locked up in my room sulking like a moody teenager.” You both laughed, the light mood brightening nearly everything you said. Though you knew he was technically an enemy, the way he spoke to you was nothing short of kindness, and it was a strange feeling that crept into you as you wondered if he might even be a friend.

Since the day was relatively peaceful, the two of you spent much more time than you had expected sharing stories and laughing at the worst situations you had found yourselves in.

“I told him, ‘Anakin, you must protect the senator with your life,’ and what does he do?”

You nodded sagely. “He gets them both captured.”

“He gets them both captured!” He was gesturing widely, surely letting out years of contained frustration and mild embarrassment. “We could have been eaten!”

“I’m sure that was a very fun conversation with the council,” you added, snickering.

His hand was on your shoulder, wide grin now diminished into a smirk. “It was, but I learned that day that there are many things the Council doesn’t need to know.”

Merely a few metres away, you heard someone clear their throat.

Oh. Nice.

Hesitantly, you turned your head. Maul stood in front of you, hands on his hips and brow furrowed, lips tightly pursed in annoyance.

“It’s been thirty minutes.”

You stood up immediately, smiling nervously, yet trying to make it look like you weren’t guilty. “Maul! Uh, how long have you been standing there?”

“For at least a quarter of it.”

“Hold on,” Obi-Wan said, standing up and filling the space between you and Maul. “You’re,” He pointed at you. “With him?” He pointed at Maul.

Maul rolled his eyes and spun around. “We’re leaving.”

Unsure of what to do, you turned to Kenobi, mumbled a quick “Sorry…” and rushed to catch up with Maul’s quickly diminishing figure.

People passed you by often, and though they paid no mind to you, you were terribly aware of them, keeping your voice low in case you accidentally caught their attention. “I think you think that was something it wasn’t…” you attempted, wishing it came out more eloquently than it did.

“I know exactly what that was,” he said, not bothering to look back down at you.

Taking a moment to think, you asked finally, “You’re not… jealous… are you?”

Hearing that, he pulled you into an empty alley. “Why would I be jealous?” he snapped, spinning around and glaring at you, clearly defensive. “What have I to be jealous of?”

You crossed your arms and leaned forward accusingly. “I know how you get. You always start getting pouty and upset when I talk to anyone who isn’t you.”

“Well, maybe I like being the person you want to talk to and not some Jedi.”

“I do talk to you. Besides, you know where my loyalties lie, right?”

He didn’t answer. His eyes narrowed instead as he stalked closer to you, backing you up against the cold wall of the building. “Perhaps… But I think that you need to be reminded.”