#talk about a waste of fucking time
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is there an actual medical reason why my body just doesn’t respond to medication and if there is please tell me it can be fixed bc this some bullshit
#ive tried easily over a dozen medications that just did absolutely nothing#and i mean no benefits no side effects even at increased dosages#all for different things like blood pressure heart rate salt increase contraception the works#then theres pain killers#talk about a waste of fucking time#ive tried at least 8 different pain killers that all have different bases and different things they fix#in the last five days ive tried four different meds#and theyve done absolutely nothing#one of which was a post surgery med my dad was prescribed and it literally just made me high for an hour and didnt touch my pain#how the hell does that happen#my ribs are so fucked#and its going into my stomach and hips bc of the way ive been holding myself to compensate for it#and i literally did nothing to trigger it#i know its muscle bc i used rapigel and it instantly went freezing cold#but i also had a long hot magnesium bath and used a topical muscle relaxer spray and none of it did shit#ive done heat ive done cold ive done sitting ive done laying down#im trying some endone we have left over tomorrow and if that does nothing then theres literally nothing else to do#theres nothing else#what the fuck am i supposed to do#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#chronic pain#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#fibromyalgia#ehlers danlos syndrome#chronic illness
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thinking about jeremy hitting rock bottom his freshman year, losing so much in one disastrous night, the repercussions of which would continue to haunt him for years. thinking about jeremy spiralling so bad cody said they “really thought we were going to lose him for a while there.” cat saying the right therapist can be “life changing”, using jeremy as an example. thinking about how bad jeremy’s crash out must have been, understandably; thinking about his family continuing to blame him for noah’s death—from the coldness of annalise, to the outright antagonism of bryson, to joshua ignoring him for years. the wilshires doing everything in their power to cover up what happened at the banquet rather than lending an ounce of support to a boy who had lost his brother in terrible circumstances, because jeremy was there, because it was so much easier to blame him for all of it. coldblooded, if you ask me. jeremy needed help, not damage control.
thinking about jeremy having probably the worst year of his life, having the opposite of emotional support from his family, and still somehow coming out of it a better person. thinking of all the work he put in to be better and succeeding—i’d rather die than ever be that person again. believe me. despite the hostility of his family system, despite being blamed for the fallout, despite the guilt and heartbreak that “nearly destroyed him”. still jeremy managed to build a new life for himself out of the wreckage, going so far as to be captain of the trojans, with a team who respect and admire him. still he managed to come out of it with such a capacity for kindness and goodness and lifting the people around him up.
thinking about jeremy continuing to be the human embodiment of sunshine despite living in such a cold home that was never forgiving or warm to him. jeremy knox, you will always be loved by me.
#jeremy knox#the golden raven#the golden raven spoilers#aftg#i have so much to say about this boy. like on the one hand his family's connections def helped & he was protected in many ways#yet at the same time any support in the EMOTIONAL sense which he really would have needed was so deeply lacking#like it wasn't even a neutral thing where they were just neglectful & all obviously grieving. no – they all actively blamed him & still do#and instead of offering any support whatsoever jeremy was sent off to rehab to grieve and get through it by himself#and you can see how he still blames himself for it. he's still doing everything to help his family#while they treat him like a waste of space & yeah it makes so sad and frustrated!!!! but yeah.#cody's line talking to jean stopped me cold like FUCK. i can't even imagine how bad it must've been to warrant that comment#anyway…jeremy knox i love u.#all for the game#tgr spoilers#tgr
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Hey, if you have speech impediments, you are so amazing.
If you stutter or have a lisp or misspeak easily or you have a flat affect or a limited verbal vocabulary or if your voice is AAC or if you just have a difference in your vocality, you are so incredibly important and amazing.
Just know that your voice is yours. Nobody will ever be able to truly take it away. Your voice is part of you, and you deserve to make it as true to you as you deem fit. I hope you have the space to grow with your voice and whatever about it makes it unique.
#positivity#disability positivity#partially because so much of voical differences arise from disability#i've developed a really annoying lisp-ish issue#and it's hard to be positive about it because it makes me feel like i'll be treated as lesser because it's a 'childish' affect#but i literally can't help it unless i spend 110% of my focus on it. and i don't have that amount of energy#but it makes me think about others and especially those who have it more intensely than i do#and i just want to uplift everybody because vocal differences are neutral at worst#man my dad always tells a story about this coworker he had who had a stutter like you wouldn't believe...#...and he was fucking BRUTALIZED for it... 'c-c-c-c-CAN YOU GET TO THE POINT?!' is how people would talk to him...#...and obviously that made his stutter twice as fucking worse and i can't imagine the shame and humiliation that followed...#...i hope he learned that those assholes were a fucking waste of time and that he doesn't have to deal with that...#...like i'm sorry but there is no fucking need to be that sadistic toward somebody who is obviously already anxious and worried
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"I have every right to hate caitvi!!!"
And I have every right not to read another word of your idiocy.
The defensiveness is pretty hilarious, tho, ngl. Some of you are so offended that we don't give a fuck about your tepid takes on the ship.
We're three months post canon. This is "love the blorbos" mode. No one gives a shit that you don't like a character or ship. This is what's so pathetic about antis. They waste their own time talking about characters they don't even enjoy. For months.
You can stop at any time. No one is forcing you to be here. For fucks sake, I think we'd all be happier if y'all just fucked off and quit posting your shit in the main tag, pretending that your shit opinion is even remotely valuable to anyone here.
It isn't. That shit your mom told you growing up that your opinions and thoughts are always valuable and deserve to be heard?
That was a lie, dear. In reality, not all opinions are created equal, nor are they always worth the air taken to express them.
It's like a vegan entering a steakhouse, only to bitch and moan that everyone in the building is eating meat and harming the planet. The patrons are enjoying their meal and discussing the experience with each other, only for some brave soul to climb on a soapbox to screech from a speakerphone that they're all terrible people who should be ashamed of themselves.
Doesn't that sound fucking obnoxious? Or the least counterproductive? You're not changing anyone's opinions here, Ava. You're just pissing people off so you can cry about how mean everyone is to you for supposedly standing up for what you believe in.
Nevermind the fact that these are fictional characters from a fictional world and your idea of activism starts and ends with online shit posting. For all of you who believe that you're making a stand for something by flaming a shipping tag on fucking tumblr of all places, if you're also an American, well. Good news! We're living through a fucking coup right now led by a goddamn billionaire who hates the working class! He might just think the concept of a repressed undercity is a swell idea!
Why not put your fucking money where your mouth is and go bother that stupid fuck?
You won't. Because that's hard. Posting leftist talking points and shittily applying them to a fictional lesbian ship is much easier, right? We should all be welcoming to y'all, huh? You're trying to save the world, after all!
Man, that shit's the most obnoxious part. Shut the fuck up already.
Or don't. And continue to either get blocked or shat upon when making dumbass posts that one asked for or desired. You're only wasting your own time.
#caitvi#caitlyn kiramman#fucking antis i legit don't understand the appeal#i fucking hate reylo with a passion#but i don't post about that bullshit#let alone in their fucking tag#partly because I'm not a shitheel looking to ruin someone else's good time#but mostly because I don't feel the need to talk about a character I fucking despise and waste my own time#imagine doing that for months#it's fucking pathetic
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i can't imagine how difficult it would be to grasp the idea that you owe so much to a man who you've never properly met or spoken to, yet he saved your life and sacrificed his own to give you another chance with the last person he had left. i wonder how often garroth thinks about aaron
#minecraft diaries#garroth ro'meave#aaron lycan#idc what you say. hes sensitive about the subject of aaron too especially when talking to aphmau#because he learns in time how much he meant to her and its like. yk. aaron died saving him#and he takes it as a blessing#and its another drive for him to prove himself. hes not going to fuck up again. he is not going to let the sacrifice of a man go to waste#he visits the makeshift bodyless grave on his own too sometimes#and he wonders why.
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I love thinking about how this would go down with them
#ghost rider dandadan au#lisa totally brings this up again. ‘awwwwww my evil minion is no longer evil minion-ing’ ‘what the fuck are you talking about??’#gotta be direct with this one girlie pop he’s one dense motherfucker. usual flirting techniques ain’t gonna apply here#REALLY need to draw their respective ‘jealous rage’ moments#some days lisa thinks she might have hit aira with that washing too hard. other days she thinks ‘perhaps not hard enough’#idk how jealous of a person robbie is in canon I’m thinking it’s not that bad. but in the dandadan world he’s got a couple things going-#against ‘reasonable behavior’#Robbie would be way closer to lisa in this universe considering their shared nightmare experience lmao#and then here comes along this dude outta NOWHERE and he’s ‘open’ and ‘trusting’ and ‘outgoing’#ALL THINGS ROBBIE REALLY ISNT#and the dude wastes NO TIME hitting on lisa. like. okay jiji. can you take a few fucking steps back please.#robbie reyes#lisa (ghost rider)#lisa o’toole#<- fuck it. tagging her name as that. she deserves a last name and that’s a good one.#my art#ANYWAY can you tell I’ve been thinking about this a lot#I just want them being kind of insane about each other to transfer over yk#please pardon the shitpost quality I am ✨tired✨ but I wanted to talk about them so so SO bad
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woah, all of the sudden i feel like i want nothing more but to turn into a soggy piece of dead wood, and its even worse bc its seems like this time its exaggerating all my worst qualities on top of worsening my regular mental health struggles-
... remembering that its been a month since the last time .... no, no it cant always be that, the majority of my deep dives into mental health hell and public annoyance cant be all that, what am i, nothing but a enzyme and hormone controlled meat puppet that i have no control over? haha no its just me actually getting wors-
cramps.
#ganondoodles talks#personal#tmi perhaps but#as if my regular gender dysphoria wasnt already bad enough#and as if periods didnt make it even worse#no now i also feel like im just a stupid animal that bends to some stupid hormon shit like i have no agency at all#maybe thats just me#but while meltdowns are the pinnacle of feeling posessed to me#realizing i have been 'like that tm' bc its period time makes me feel so .. extra stupid#like man those feelings felt so real and still kidna do but also man what the fuck#.......also i feel like i am proving those misogyni guys right by being weird and not like myself a few days before the cramps start#even without being cis#feels like shit all over! yippie! angry at myself for not realizing it#also angry that even if i remember i cant do anything against it#i jsut gotta waste days and weeks and so much time just to feel even more shit and awful about myself for not beign what i want#argh
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how to explain to your parents that you can't move back in with them because every time you're near them a big part of you buries itself and you're not sure how long that part can stay buried before its hidey hole becomes its grave?
...without offending them, of course
#eliot posts#last time i was forced to move back in w them was when the dorms closed for quarantine#and a part of me DID die then#and i think in those first 18 years i spent living with them so many parts of me died before they even had the chance to be born#they keep framing it as a generous offer. i won't have to pay rent AND they'll get me set up working oart time for my dad's friend#AND they'll replace my car with a newer one#but i do NOT fucking trust it#they act nice while i'm not living with them and am able to freely escape#but that niceness goes away once i have nowhere to go#like that's exactly what happened when i was forced back to them during quarantine#and how hard they're pushing this seems realllly sketchy#i told my mother i'd think about it (to get her off my back) and she said ''don't waste time thinking. just agree to it.''#like hellll no. i do NOT trust like that.#even my sister was trying to talk me into it which i don't get because she of all people should understand.#but anyway. i'm applying for jobs and looking at extending my lease. i am NOT going back there.#i just wish i could tell them that without getting yelled at and guilt tripped and talked to like i'm a stupid little baby.
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What is with the practically psychotic hate for Lance Stroll? I'm not even his fan- more indifferent- but the hate he gets is sickening. Like just see the recent 'Never have I ever' vid- so many top comments on youtube, instagram etc. are just spouting shit about him (attacking his looks, calling him window licker wtf etc.) based off the 'Never have I ever stood up someone question' (and of course they conveniently ignore all the other drivers that also said they have because it's trendy to hate on Stroll).
Of course, standing up someone sucks but first of all we have no context at all, and more importantly, it's clear the commenters don't actl give a shit about that because they're only hating on Stroll. This is literally just one instance of the way these F1 'fans' are so quick to seize any opportunity to put down Lance. Honestly, it's so off-putting, pathetic and sad.
#he's not even one of my faves but the hate in the f1 fanbase for this 25 year old is crazy#don't give me the 'his daddy bought the team!! he's so shitty!!'#he may not be the best driver but he's still a good driver#he got a podium in his rookie year for goodness sake#also one of the youngest polesitter#yes he was blessed with a rich family but god forbid a father loves his child and would do anything for him#he's usually good in the wet/mixed conditions too#but if you listened to ppl on social media you would think lance can't even walk in a straight line#im so done lol the f1 fanbase is so toxic#esp those on twitter/insta#honestly I doubt those type of 'fans' actl watch the races#they just do monkey see monkey do#and hate on a fucking mid-20s dude 💀#their lives must be incredibly sad to waste time spreading hate like that#lance stroll#f1 2024#honestly this isn't even about the never have I ever vid#it's more about the general and practically fervent hate ppl have for lance#which is so overboard#lance puts in the effort everyday but these ppl will have you believe he sits arnd throwing moneg everyday#this is the man who drove despite his hand injury last year for goodness' sake#the way some ppl talk about him will have you thinking he murdered their family#also he's just thr to drive??? idk why ppl go all up in arms to hate on everything he does from his looks to how he talks...#and in general the hate various drivers get is so weird#*money#<- too lazy to edit my tags lol
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i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign

#god of war#i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know#something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become#to survive this long#up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change#it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this.#it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better#we MUST be better. than they were.#who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes.#i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return#you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.#you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better.#i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better#i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it?#this series has destroyed me.#dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate)#can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’#AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!!#sindri’s face. has not left my memory#i’m dying scoob#gow#gowr
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went to post this on twitter but i didnt wanna get banned . crazy that u can scrape my entire lifes work and i cant even tell u to die over it <3
#im just so ........#grips fists#i feel Helpless#i hate feeling like the people i know are receding further and further Away from art communities and the public because its so#painful right now#to be posting art :(#it just IS.#and to the motherfuckers in Toyhouse doing this like... i cannot stress enough how much if u called me rn i would tell u to die 2 ur face#i just... cant pretend like im Okay with u being anywhere Near the same space as me anymore <3#there are people i Hate on an individual level and#i still want to see them eat. just not at my table#but to everyone who Scrapes Art. I want you to Die <3 ....#you value having pretty little image and serving yourself over the grief of millions of artists#to the point where you break into Our spaces where we trust that we're at least safe from *you* motherfuckers#and take Even More ...#youre fucking#selfish and greedy#truly an embodiment of every fucking sin#unable to fucking Help Yourself ?#imagine if all of these people were like. contributing to society.or. idk. DRAWING#the Waste it generates stresses me out to no fucking end too#like you will literally harm the entire human race for Yourself#i Hate you . I Hate you so Wholly#I hate Everything you are and Everything you have done to me and Everything you have done to my community and my peers#yeah. i want you to Die. The same way i want a politician to die.#no human Deserves death <3 but i still want you to <3#annnyyywaayyyyyss#i wont tag this as my art LMFAO its basically a fucking#vent post#i just HAD to get my feelings out cuz genuinely every time i talk about this with my friends it
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Anyways. Arcane season 1 was a solid 7/10 couldve used 4 eps per act instead to really tell the story more but the writers were really dedicated to the rule of 3s.
Season 2 is like. 4/10 tho. WAY too dedicated to the rule of 3s. Added a bunch of side characters that did nothing n took up way too much time. Tried to dive into all the characters stories all at once while also changing the story itself to not focus on the class disparity and instead just swept that shit under the rug :/
Also used up so much time for music videos that wasted time cause they just ended up showing the situations even better after anyways.
Also I liked the episode with ekko n powder but good god. You wasted an entire episode. On an au. When you were already running out of time.
I know they said they're doing other shows after this but that's not really an excuse to completely change characters personalities and butcher a bunch of the storylines :/
#other#t talks#hmm. there was so many points were all i could think was wow. they are wasting so much time on this.#when are they gonna get back to the story? n then they never did.#cause instead it flipped to be about ambessa helping viktor cause she wants weapons for an enemy the show never bothers to actually explain.#and only half way does thru mel. but we spend so much time with everyone else that we get almost no time with her#despite her n ambessas storyline being the entire reason the entire story changes.#and dont even get me started on the characters#vi having a sex scene Right After her sister said she was gonna kill herself? okay...#sevika ending up on the council???????? fuck that.#also i am an eternal hater of 'suicidal character finds reason to live then dies anyways' trope. and to imply shes alive anyways.#anyways. i enjoyed it overall but god. what a downgrade from season 1.#i have to go open sai n think about drawing.
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got interrupted playing generations with my little brother which we haven't gotten to do at all yet because some fucking guy from some fucking company i just applied to got on the phone to tell me about the job and literally kept me on the phone for almost an entire half hour. then there was only time for two hunts. like is it an exaggeration to say that jobs ruin everything that is fucking sacred about life even if you're not fucking getting paid by them like i am so sick of this routine and i don't want these things in my life anymore
#fucking unbelievable#and you can't be 'rude'#like dude you're wasting my fucking time#and it doesn't get erased because you say 'oh i like to talk a lot so bear with me'#like i know i said i was available to talk about the job#that means 5 minutes. max#people are so fucking unbelievable
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bridgerton season 3 sucked absolute ass
#spoilers!!! but ur not gonna miss much i promise#as an avid bridgerton fan girl trust me i have the credentials to talk about this guys#it was so unbelievably bad no one can convince me otherwise#where was the drama where was the build up where was the lust where was the groveling it was so bad#why did she have hybrid lash extensions and gelx almond nails like why were they wearing full fsces of charlotte tilbury#that hot air balloon scene pissed me off sooo bad like penelope girl STAND UP!!! dont piss me off what are u doing falling and tumbling the#balloon was gojng -4 km an hour GET UP!!!!!!!#the sex scenes were so mid like u guys wanna be simon and daphne soo bad#i was excited for penelope too like i love her character i relate to her so much it pisses me off they fumbled so hard#colin was always meh but penelope like u shouldve made him beg more and colin shouldve just wanted to beg more#who tf was lord debling i forgot he even existed when i watched part 2 like hes so irrevelevant#dont even get me started on how anti climactic it was when colin found out penelope was lady whistledown like#literally girl bye wasting my fucking time#thats all i came here to say ive been having a horrible time recently and this just pissed me off even more#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3
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my mom very awkwardly coming into my room and handing me my freshly folded laundry telling me "you should be happy in life" 30 minutes after i finished a full mental breakdown in front of her because she said she's not paying for college unless I get into a top 30 university
#tw vent#tw college apps#also yes okay yes im properly aware of the fact that my parents are even willing to pay for college at all#like im fully fucking aware that that's not even in like the range of possibility for so so so many people like i am#VERY MUCH#speaking from a place of privilege here#there is such a liek its just truly i feel physically ill every time i talk about college with my parents like truly#i dont know like i know that you cant be WILDLY successful and not go to a super prestigious university#I KNOW THAT#but istg like there is nothing that gnaws at my soul more than that stipulation#like its so much of the thing of like we will drop 70k dollars every year for you to go somewhere like this okay and my parents are VERY#conservative spenders like ridiculously so#but if you go anywhere else you're no longer worth our time or our money#like oh you're going to the third fucking best university in ur state?#yeah so actually fuck you the time and money we've invested into your existence for the past 18 years has literally been nothing but waste#like wow thanks guys that really helps me want to keep existing :)#anyway apologies to anyone who reads these tags#didnt think i was gonna wake up today and be a debbie downer lmao#also to any of my fellow hs juniors out there realizing we're going to be writing and sending out college apps like within this 365 days#all the love in the world to yall rn truly all the love#personal
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it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy
#its only our third time meeting but its so beyond fucking frustrating to feel like we spent the whole hour going in circles & lowkey arguing#& like she never actually listened to any of the things ive told her. like the ENTIRW REASON i told her i was seeking extra help after#dealing w arfid type noncense all my life was 'achieving goal x is always kind of tough but im trying to do it while also achieving goal y &#im struggling with finding a way to balance the two things' like thats IT & then as shes suggesting things to try im like idk of those are#worth the effort bcus they conflict w goal y & shes like. have you considered not worrying about that so you can focus on x?#like NO bcus thats what i was previoislt doing & it doesnt fucking work for me! & she was just not understanding what i meant by adding#variety or having 'better options' shes all like. ok but even if this new thing conflicts with goal y it can just be another option for you#like thats not the POINT i already have enough options i can switch between that conflict with that like the whole point is i need to fill#the gaps w things that are nutritionally different. like if im ok with something thatll use up a significant portion of ny daily values of#shit then i already have multiple options that i actively like well enough i dont wanna waste my time adding more that are things i think#are just ok but take more work. literally whats the point of that#& im like i think rather than me just thinking of random shit i think i could try itd be helpful if I could like get some guidance on like#what are some things that fall into somewhere into this category or this adjacent category while also not being this other thing & then i#cab like determine from there what i already like & can try & add more of & things from that list that sound like sth i can try#& shes like well idk theres a lot of foods out there. YEAH ABD ISNT IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KNOW ABOUT FOOD? like i gave fairly specific#parameters this isnt like a 'list every food on earth' type of question what am i even paying you for if you cant come up with a list#like that. & she jept getting hung up on like well lots of things that are the most calorically dense are gonna be like that like ok it#doesnt have to be the MOST dense maybe think about it like 'the densest things in this other category' which sounded straightforward to me#but she was just like continuing to argue & also like getting hung up on reminding me that everything is dependent on portions like#I FUCKING KNOW?? like if a serving of something is like 10% of my dv id rather find something where a serving is 5% etc. idk how thats like#a hard concept like whats the point of adding something to be like oh sure ill have a third of a serving & get 50 extra calories out of it#be so fr rn im so beyond frustrated still even tho its been hours since i talked to her this is more stressful & annoying than the stress of#just trying to figure shit out on my own i fucking hate having to try & re explain nyaelf ivee & over & have someone just talk over me &#fail to understand what im getting at. im one more shitty session away from quitting & just resigining myself to 70% liquid diet#anyways#texticles
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