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supergigabigboybabechad · 1 year

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idk if i interpret your posts right but it seems like you do matchups for twisted wonderland? May I get one?

Im female and go by she/her. Im an ENTP, my zodiac is gemini and I’m about 165cm tall. I’m pretty energetic and always smile since hard feelings like grief, anger or sadness are really overwhelming for me since I am pretty „sensitive“ meaning I take most things to heart easily. I always give advice and help to others and I try to be the best version of myself to make them feel comfortable. I make lots of bad jokes while knowing they are bad. I get lots of compliments for my Singing voice and writing. I also love love love to Infodump like i can talk for hours about something or someone I like. I love wearing pink things with ruffles or lace and I’d say I’m pretty girly over all. I try to act tough and always give everything to make others happy. Im a Great cook and a hopeless romantic. I also have a 8 step skincare routine… I see beauty and worth in everything and love to help people build confidence and self-love. My favorite artist is currently Mitski, since I really relate to her music. I have some father problems going on which make me want to be cared for, but at the same time I have mother problems since my mother was emotionally absent after my dad left, which makes me want to care for people. 🫂

Hope our have a good day or night and Drink enough!<3

Hi! Thank you for being so conscious of me and im so flattered you liked my last matchup enough to ask for one yourself but i love people telling me about themselves so your ask was a happy suprise and really made my day! I didnt expect to get that much attention but hey! If anyone else wants a matchup from me youre more than welcome to send info in! The more the better! Extra little jazz: if you want to send up info the way you would for a matchup and get hcs for a specific char youve got it! Also, if you want your info priv you can lemme know in your ask and ill tag you or you can go by an anon title(ex: leaf anon/ 🍃 anon)and ill mention ur title in the post, if you do this I wont post ur anonymous ask Like last time we have options in order from less to most compatible imo🔥

4. Jack Howl

Upon first meeting you, jack would claim to not care for you

But the thing is, deep down he doesn’t want your feelings getting hurt at nrc, the boys there can be real mean for no reason

He’s also worried about people taking advantage of your kindness

His words and actions conflict as he insists on walking with you everywhere “to be a man” or so he claims

He’d probably scold you about how you’re never putting yourself first leading to you telling him about your want to help others be their best selves

This would get him thinking, he thought you were weak for “letting people walk all over you” but really it’s just selflessness

He’s into the idea of self betterment so he gives you an enthusiastic speech about how you’re doing good work

After that day he sees you in a new light, the definitions of resilience and strength to him have taken on new meaning

He’s always looking to improve, he’d take your advice to heart and trusts you most with his emotional problems

Hes gotta open up to somebody, the tough guy act can’t be a forever thing, you’re clearly the best person for the job

Hes pretty mature so he won’t say anything mean to you even as a joke

He wont let others do that to you either, you wont have to tell him if something bothers you, hes protective so more times than not he’ll defend you

Hes still too macho to let you know just how much he cares but it slips out in his actions

When he can see your upset(Ace was probably mean to you) he’ll insist on walking you back to your dorm after in other words, telling ace to shut up

Hell softly squeeze your hand on the way back and make a comment about what happened earlier off handedly

Say ace was bein birtchy ab the way you dress, before leaving you to enter ramshackle he’d say “I think pink is nice for you” while awkwardly looking away

Jack wouldn’t know how to respond in the moment of receiving affections while you’re taking care of him but his tail will wag so you’ll know he’s enjoying it and he definitely wont protest.

Jack would care for you too in the more traditional masculine way of walking you to class and escorting you here and there

He’d show you the affection you desire but be verbally round aboit with it.

Holding out his jacket to you, he’d insist you take it, not in a very romantic way.. but still, he’s so easy to read you can tell how shy he was

3.Trey Clover

Trey would love your look!!

You would remind him of a cake

In fact, hed make a cake to match you as a suprise

Most likely as a gift for helping out ace and deuce despots what a pain they can be

He really appreciates how kind you can be and your willingness to help others

It really takes a load off his shoulders with the first years coming to you every now and then, he knows how much work they can be so a cake is the least he can do

Knowing your living situation in ramshackle and with Crowley’s LIMITED allowance hed take care of you subtly

Inviting you to join heartslabyul for tea and having you over to help with schoolwork

Hes be more forthright from time to time making you lunch and bringing you food

During tea times and unbirthday parties hed always invite you to sit next to him

He’d use that time to talk to you about how you’re doing, he notices how you’re always caring for others he needs to make sure you’re being looked after as well

During this time you might get into infodumping

He finds the way you get cute and would ask questions just to see you passionate

If you cook for him he’d love it! In fact, upon telling him that you cook he’d start inviting you over to help him out or offer to come help you out(he knows you’ve got enough in your plate) as an excuse to have some alone time together

Hes Great at comforting people so if something someone says hurts you you’ll have him to lean on

That being said he’s also an upperclassman and well respected

If he catches you hurt by what someone says he’ll wrap his arm around your waist to reassure you and ask the person what’s wrong and how he can resolve the issue

Trey gives dad jokes vibes he’d find your jokes endearing

From time to time hed I’m sure he’d even genuinely find them funny

Trey isnt used to being cared for the way you take care of him

Hes usually on the giving end but hardly ever the receiving, its special to him and he remembers each moment and is truly great full for it

Hed return the favor and care for you more, hes a good boyfriend so he’s always making sure to give what he gets

He loves when you help him take a break, the way you encourage him to take care of himself as well as remind him of how he matters reminds him of how lucky he was to have landed someone so caring

2. Rook Hunt

BEAUTÉ 100 POINTS

He finds you so cute! Your beauty is so different from Vil’s or Neige’s

You’re like a lone tulip adorned with dew in the morning shining brighter than the rest of the dull leaves

Hes Tell you that in more words and write you poems, be ready to receive many odes to your beauty

He’d love to hear you sing you have his full attention

In fact hed write poems and sonnets for you to read too

Your singing is so lovely, you must have a beautiful voice! He’d listen to you talk for HOURS just listening to your voice and taking in how beautiful you are while you speak

He loves the your stop and smell the roses attitude, he finds that it adds to your beauty

Your beautiful way of thinking adds to the depth of your beauty

Hell have fun looking within your kind spirit and discovering new beautiful things about you

He loves your ability to cook, he’d love to have you pack him something while he goes out hunting

Rook is a very passionate man and very knowledgable, you’d both end up info dumping on each other too, you’d say a lot of random stuff to each other that and neither of you would even be phased

The hopeless romantic part of you will definitely love being with rook

He’s writing you love letters, giving you flowers. His confession was likely intimate and private but also grand, a beauty for your eyes only

Rook also has a keen eye for beauty. He’d take you to see his favorite sights and sing to you of the beauty before him

He’d also take you hunting!

He understands if you’re not too keen on the actual hunting part. You can both hunt beauty with your eyes

Rook is good natured at heart though it’s hard to see with what he says

When he speaks it may come off as an insult but truly he just sees the beauty in your flaws and can’t help but comment on it

I Hope his positive tone comes through but hell definitely notice if it hurts you

“Mon amour! I meant it in the highest complements! You’re beauty but transgresses perfection and seeps into the cracks filling your beautiful form! Mais je suis désolé ma chérie.. I will refrain if it is what will make you smile most.”

Room would love to help you with your skin care routine! I know that sounds weird.. kinda because it is?

If you’d let him.. he’d wash your face for you, apply serum essence, your entire routine

He’s beaming the whole time like a giddy child but he’s also treating you delicately like he’s washing a porcelain doll.

He’s very Open to receiving affection and having you care for him. You wouldn’t have to question whether or not he appreciates it, it’s written all over him! .. and he’ll tell you how thankful he is

Room would follow you around like he worships the ground you walk on. You just keep on surprising him with the depth of your beauty, he can’t get enough!

1. Jade Leech

Princess and her capable butler vibes❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Jade would keep an eye on you out of pure curiosity at first.

You’d seldom find someone so willing to help others out of the goodness of their hearts like you would, especially at NRC

He follows you around finding your “obliviousness” entertaining. The way you cant See the danger you’re clearly putting yourself in

With all the aggressive students things can get ugly but before any of that would have happened, Jade would be stepping in to make sure things didn’t escalate (after he’s had his fill on entertainment)

You would thank him for his help and he’d inquire about your helping and positive attitude

“You do know that they’d just trying to take advantage of you right? Dont you? Why do you insist on helping them?”

After telling him about trying to bring out the best in others and only wanting to help them love themselves, Jade is even more dumbfounded

He finds it cute, from your character to your cute clothes, you truly are unique…

With Jade around people would know better than to hurt your feelings and if they were dumb enough to try to intentionally… well, you wouldn’t see it but Jade would handle it

Jade would love your singing and would love for you to sing for him on your dates

Are you an outdoorsy person? Because for dates he’d bring you out on hikes to show you all the beauty, from the scenery and landscape to the smallest dainty flowers

You wouldn’t have to worry about packing or holding your own bag Jade would hold it for you. Worried you might fall? Hell catch you don’t even worry there’s no way you’d even get a scratch when you’re with him.

While on your hike you might point out some things you like, flowers, trees anything really.

Hed make mental note of it and make a terrarium for you with what you found beautiful together

Hed decorate the outside too to make sure it was up to your standards. Pearls, lace, pink bows, it so cute!

Jade would dote on you too, not too much in gifts, you get them here and there but Jade is definitely a quality time/acts of service guy.

He’d sit down and just listen to you talk, talk about whatever! Info dumping, your day, especially your day, he wants to know where you are

You do so much for people, helping them build their self love but who’s doing that for you? Jade will.

He’d constantly tell you about how nice you look and what a nice thing you did, making sure to never overlook your achievements and congratulate you on each one.

He’d make you tea or some water to make sure you’re hydrated and something to eat while you talk to make sure you have enough energy

Then it’ll just be the two of you, talking and showing how much you love each other as well as making sure you both love yourselves

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland matchup #twst matchup #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #jade leech #jade leech x reader #Jade x reader #jack howl #jack howl x reader #jack x reader #Trey x reader #trey clover x reader #Trey clover #rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #rook x reader

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thisdreamplace · 8 months

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hiii!! dream hruu💗 hope ur having wonderful times and happy days☆I deeply apologize that isn’t an ask! but you helped me so so much so I wanted to share all of this with you so👯‍♀️

I’m not sure if this is even considered a success story and I read one of ur posts in this master list doc and I will qoute some of the things that changed me completely💗

( so I apologize if this is extremely long :P hahaha I never expected to be at this place ) I hope if some where in the same spot as me , maybe this can help some others♥️♥️)

When I first started I was very afraid , going through terrible times, low self worth, feeling like life was being done to me , losing friends and feeling like I wasn’t enough for anyone and they’re right for leaving me. constantly dominated by fear , anger and desire and despair. I felt like things are just a loop and I will never get through this bc “I don’t deserve it.” “do I deserve to even live in peace and harmony or even able to get through this or am I a terrible terrible person & forever will be… and how so”

until I stumbled upon ur page and others . Seeing others show how to help and care and things about intrusive thoughts, negative emotions etc. made me feel so less alone💌I felt so relieved and I decided to read I promised myself

“ I will never ever ignore myself ever again” “

your post indiff \ doing nothing helped me forever my gratefulness goes miles for you💗💗 when I first saw it was like “ DOING NOTHING WHAT!!!” lowkey terrified and scared bc in the face of the ego it’s a terrifying feeling. I was so hesitant to do it at first feeling like , am I just accepting that terrible thoughts and things will forever happen to me , always fighting every single thought I had. you wrote

“but what if, we actually did nothing ? just sat with it, and let it be ? well now what ? does that thing actually hold any power anymore ? nope. indifference starves the old way of being” - @/thisdreamplace

something inside me said “ give it a chance” so I decided to just do nothing allowing anything to come and go not holding onto anything just laying down and being. Not labeling anything but letting it flow. letting myself breathe and feel whatever I needed to getting it all out with time and love , as uncomfortable and as many tears ran down my face I decided that I’m not gonna hold onto this anymore. Letting emotions / feelings / thoughts rise and fall and rise again not arguing not running away, comforting myself and reassuring myself like you said “ I do care but not enough to do anything about it” and I felt so light and some days not still felt heavy as ever but I let go💗without forcing to let go or even wallowing, I let it stay as long as it needs to and then let it free beacuse it doesn’t have power over me it’s meaningless , but I’ll welcome it with love 💗💗♥️

kinda like sitting on a beach wave and letting the waves hit me no matter how hard the waves are I’ll continue to sit down 🌊🌊and enjoy the view

letting go and letting god. I struggled with this concept so much. “ WHAT?? LET GO?? NU UH….WHAT IF I CANT TRUST THAT.” “But what if it goes so well💗” letting go? what will happen to me… what will happen. but out of love I decided to let go little by little

“. i mainly do this all by allowing myself to surrender to whatever comes up, whether its in the 3d or within me. it doesn't matter. whether its beautiful or ugly, i surrender to it and know god will handle it, because god is on my side. i am on my own side. i definitely let go and let god — i practice trust in this way.”--@/thisdreamplace

this helped me , beacuse I was going through so much feeling deviated feeling like I was taking hit by hit. Heartbroken time from time or even the happiest I could ever be all I reminded my self regardless “ I am in the right place ♥️I am where I supposed to be “ or even “ I know god will handle i beacuse god is on my side “ or even just “everything will be ok” and walked on into my day💗 I choose things that made me so happy , so loved so sentimental , when faced with things or situations I let myself feel through it and comforted myself beacuse I deserve love at all times no matter what is the situation or even if it’s considered negative💗I didn’t give the negative emotions hate , I starved them from any negativity even as bad the thought , I fought it with love and patience and gave it the time it needed until I could move into the state I prefer.

one thing I used to do is I knew all of this and acted on it but, I was always in my room , never going out or even just doing nothing. Just isolated from the world beacuse I used to think that was right . I was always dealing with emotions and thoughts it happened all the time, I was so distraught I knew what to do but I’m so tired. Until I read this by you( it quite literally changed my life)

“i started to push myself out of my comfort zone and go do things in real life, rather than sitting in my room telling myself "i dont have to lift a finger ! if i just sit in here in my mind it will surely happen" (i got tired of telling myself that after 2 years of a rather stagnant-feeling life) so i said fuck it and started doing things. which only snowballed because then i got comfortable doing things. and now ive had so much fucking fun in my life in just the past couple months. i only say that because it still blows my mind n i am beyond thankful for my experiences this year !” - @/thisdreamplace

“take it step by step, little things that are out of your norm and you will see the way life responds to you so beautifully”-@/thisdreamplace

I was like so confused at first but then , I had this strong urge within me to just take a walk, something that was irregular I mean it’s freezing cold why would I? But it was so strong I was like yk frick it!! I took a walk expecting nothing but honestly just a good walk. I felt so much better or even some days the same but I started doing things that where considered “ out of nowhere” “irregular “ like taking a nice walk watching a movie , going outside and having fun, eating a new place and it has changed me 💗💗

( omg sorry if this already so long but these are some quotes that honestly changed my perspective)💗💗

“nothing that is in front of you at this moment, is an obstacle or something you need to pretend isnt there.”-@/thisdreamplace

“take what you have and let it be part of what guides you. make that your goal. feeling complete. (or whatever you want, really) when that is your goal, instead of your desire, you wake up everyday and make decisions based on your true self. not that egotistic urge for results.””-@/thisdreamplace

“life responds to you perfectly when youre just busy loving yourself and making the most out of each day. :') things just happen with ease and so beautifully. <3”-@/thisdreamplace

there’s so many more posts that helped me but this so SO LONG OMG, so I will end it off here. There’s are some others that helped tho :). “How can I feel like I’m god?” “Going back and forth” “no effort “ “for those who struggle” etc.

bless you dream you’ve changed my perspective and I will continue to follow this all. my gratefulness cannot be put into words. I’m beyond grateful 💗💗thank you so so very much my dear dream. I am wishing you forever and ever happy days , happy everything and lovely lovely experiences/dreams♥️have a great life 💗♥️♥️♥️♥️🫂- anon who types too much LOL

hiiii <3 i'm doing vvvv well, and i hope you are too ! sorry it took me a while to reply to this message, but omg. you are THE CUTEST. it seriously made my day opening this app and seeing this message from you !! it's so thought out and extremely touching. i appreciate you taking your time to write this to me. 🥹💓

first of all, i'm inspired by you ! i love reading how much you have overcome on your own, allowing yourself to feel those difficult things and not wavering for yourself, keeping moving forward despite it all. and i really love this bit, "kinda like sitting on a beach wave and letting the waves hit me no matter how hard the waves are I’ll continue to sit down 🌊🌊and enjoy the view" super real, and true. just letting ourselves flow along with the river of life... and enjoying the sights along the way :')

I LOVE YOU ANON WHO TYPES TOO MUCH 🥰 lmfao fkdjkfdk no but seriously, you have no idea what this messages means to me and how warm i felt reading it. you are so beautiful, and truly so deserving of all of the lovely things you're allowing yourself to experience now and to come. continue being open, continue waking up everyday and choosing to do things out of love. and once again, thank you so much for this message. it's truly so beautiful and uplifting. i hope you continue to have the happiest days <3

🫧🕊

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olivarryprompts · 3 years

Text

Fanfic Friday #8

Welcome to Fanfic Friday! Each Friday I will post a new fanfic here and on A03. Enjoy x

Read and save it on A03 here https://archiveofourown.org/works/32602807

{ur still my boy}

Ship: toliver (tommy/oliver)

Warnings: swearing, canon typical violence, oliver’s ‘death’ to Ra’s

Wc: 2,564

One:

“Oliver! Ollie oh my god you- What happened?” “Nothing, just a- a mugger.” “A mugger! Did you really ditch Mr. Diggle again? This is why you have security. I though five year on some island what make you a little less of a dumb fuck!” “Alright, what? That’s a little intense.” “A little intense? Are you kidding me right now?” “No, what. Why are you here anyway?” “The club, we need to talk about it. But, not that’s not the point.” “Why not? Seems like an important conversation. “ “Oliver stop!” “Stop what?” “Pretending.” “Pretending? About what?” “God Oliver,” he said, falling onto Ollie’s desk chair. Oliver was perched on the edge of his bed. “I’m fine, it’s fine. I don’t understand why you're fussing over this.” “BECAUSE YOU DIED OLLIE!” “I-” A silence fell upon them. “You died, and I had to deal with that, and it’s something I never want to have to deal with again.” “Tommy, I know but it’s the world. The real world. And it’s not always going to be safe.” “I know that, I know, but ditching your security, Ollie. Why? I just don’t understand it.” “I-i can’t explain. You just need to trust me. I can take care of myself.” “Last time I let you care for yourself, you died! You get that right. You get that I never want to let you out of my sight ever again because I’m scared.” “I survived on an island for five years, I can handle Starling City. Trust me.” “That doesn’t mean that if a bullet flies through your heart you won’t die!” “Tom-” “No. “Don’t, don’t do that.” “I love you, everyday on the island I wanted to come back. To come back and say the thing I just said.” “What do-” “I love you, stupid. For real.” “You mean-” And they had a long overdue kiss. And some more.

“You really know how to divert a conversation,” Tommy said, into Oliver’s bare chest. “It’s one of my strong suits,” he smiled.

Two:

“Hi Ollie,” he said, from a chair in the Arrowcave. “Tommy! How did you get- how did you find!” “Your excuses were getting pretty lame, and you know we both own this club.” “Yeah but-” “You’re the arrow.” “I’m- yeah.” “God Oliver, you are so shit a lying.” “You’re not mad?” “Mad? Are you joking? I’m so- everything. How the hell could you keep this from me? ME?” “For your safety,” he replied calmly. “My safety, what if I know your secret, I’m in danger. That’s not how the real world works. I don’t understand you.” “I had to. My father,” Oliver stopped. “What did your father say?” “I have plans okay.” “Beyond just, just murdering people.” “Collateral damage, plus I only kill when necessary.” “It was you. That day we got kidnapped.” “Yes-” “Why? You should have told me.” “What, what so you can hate me from now on!” “I could never hate you, it’s you.” “But you hate the Vigilante.” “But I trust Oliver Queen, or I did before you kept the biggest secret possible.” “HOW DO YOU NOT SEE I WAS PROTECTING YOU!” “Because why would me, one person knowing, change anything!” “The people I am going after are dangerous and powerful, so if you are close to me you will be targeted. If you know, that will make you even closer.” “You understand that that makes no sense.” “Whatever, you know now.” “Why don’t you trust me?” “Tommy, that is just fake! You know that I trust you with everything in me. I trust you to see me!” “You lied about your scars.” “That was all true,” he said, putting his head in hands, “I only left out parts about me becoming the arrow. I- truly Tommy, I thought you were going to pieces together. From my story to the arrowhead rock to the timing of my return.” “You were telling me,” he said, with realization. “Yeah I tried.’ “You could have just told me.” “Should have, yeah.” “Oliver! I-” “Why are you still upset?” “Because because-” Tommy slammed the desk. “Tommy, if you’re still worried about me getting hurt, clearly I can handle myself.” “I know but- a knife will still kill. Playing fucking superhero will get you killed!” “No, it doesn’t have to.” “I can’t Oliver, I can’t. Why, please, I-” Tommy started crying. “I can’t quit this. It’s too important.” “No Oliver, your life is too important. It’s too important to me because I’m sure, I’m certain you're my last, and I’m not losing you.” Oliver brought him into his arms, and kissed his head. “I swear to you, I’m not going anywhere.” “I can’t, I don’t want you to go out every night and risk death.” “Rules, we’ll make rules, whatever you want. To keep me safe and you happy.” Tommy just held him tighter.

Three:

“When’s the last time you slept?” Tommy said, approaching their breakfast counter. He placed a kiss on Oliver’s cheek. Oliver was staring at his computer, working on mayoral plans. “A while back.” Tommy rolled his eyes knowingly. Yet another late night Arrow mission that ended with an all nighter. “Oliver.” “Tommy.” “You need sleep to function as a human being.” “No not really,” Oliver smiled, switching his attention to the other man, “Green arrow.” “Ollie please, I hate you being tired because then you do stupid shit as the mayor and even dummer shit with a bow an arrow.” “Since when do I do dumb shit?” “We are talking about the same Oliver Queen right? The one who pissed on the police officer?” “Oh please come on, not the childhood.” “You were eighteen, Ollie,” Tommy smiled fondly. “If we’re sharing embarrassing stories-” “Shut up,” he said, digging his head into Ollie’s shoulder. He wrapped an arm around Tommy and then went back to looking at his computer screen. “Hey, you avoided the point.” “Yes, yes I did.” “You don’t need to be in to work till 10 today. We have a great opportunity to get two hours of sleep here, babe, and it’s quite enticing.” “You have a company to run.” “I also have an Oliver Queen to tend after.” Oliver scoffed, “I don’t need tending after.’ “Clearly,” he replied sarcastically, “Please for me. I know you're tired. Rule #3” “Really now? You’re playing the rules card. I’m not even tired, T.” “Come on, I’ve known your tired face since we were five.” “Fine. Rules are rules.” “Really?” “Yes only if I’m little spoon.” “Done deal!” Tommy grabbed Oliver’s hand, and dragged him into their bedroom.

Four:

“The plan is to break into the Argus facility whilst the state of emergency has been turned on due to the prisoners being released. Of course, they will stay contained in their cell block just not the individual cell. From there we can get Bloodine out of there, and force him to give up all the information he’s been given on the new Argus protection.” Tommy had entered the arrow cave moments before, unnoticed by Oliver. “Hey,” he said, joining them in the center of the room. “Hi,” Ollie whispered to him, giving him a kiss. “Hi Tommy, what brings you down to our humble abode?” Felicity questioned. “Just needed to drag Oliver home, remember we have the Merlyn Global Charity Gala tonight,” he only half made up. “That’s on Thursday,” Oliver remembered. “If you know when it is, why are you always so goddamn late for everything!” Tommy jokes, kinda. Felicity and Diggle sensed the tension, “We have to- uh, go over there,” Diggle awkwardly covered. “They did the thing, so started talking,” Oliver told Tommy. “Fine, fine. I’m vetoing this mission for you.” “This is a standard mission,” Oliver said with a sigh, “It’s not unsafe.” “Yes dealing with a mass murder who has slipped through your fingers a number of times is not dangerous at all. And, who has beaten you in a fight previously.” “Won’t happen again.” “How are you so sure about that?” “I am. I get it, you're scared, but this one is important. It’s the difference between the city blowing up and it now blowing up. We’re talking millions of lives here.” “I know, I-” “I’ll be careful.” “Rule #1.” The sacred rule one, which Tommy, in four years of dating, has only used a single other time. “Tommy you can’t. Not this one.” “The rules are the rules.” “Not this time, no. I- it’s too important.” “Oliver, do you not remember that your missing being so important was the whole basis of creation of the rules!” “Tommy, I can’t deal with this right now.” “Can’t deal with-” Tommy turned his back on Oliver, “Yeah, you know what. Go and get your stupid ass killed. And do not think about stepping foot in our apartment if you take on the mission!” Oliver was at a loss for words as his better half stopped off.

Later that evening Tommy made an important call. “Hi Barry, I need you to do me a favor.” “Anything, you know I owe you one.” “Thanks. There’s this mission that Ollie’s idiotically going on. It’s bloodline-” “The one he lost a while back.” “Yeah.” “Give me the details. I’ll watch out for all of them.” “Ok, so-” Tommy described the mission and sent him the plan he’d downloaded on his phone with some Merlyn Global tech he indefinitely borrowed.

As soon as he got word that they’d returned, he made his way to the Arrowcave. “Thank you Barry,” he said, giving the other a hug. “Anytime, good thing I was there too. Bloodline nearly bombed the place secretly, and would have killed anyone in the building. The guy’s smart,” he said, only slightly gravely. Oliver was standing there looking guilty. As soon as Tommy heard that, he launched himself into Ollie’s arms. “God you idiot, you almost died. Stupid. God, I love you, please listen to me next time.” “I’m sorry, I’m-” “It’s okay. I got you. You might be the green arrow and all, but you're still my boy first.” Oliver just smiled.

Five:

Tommy curled into Oliver’s side, and said,” You are not going back to that island, not without me.” “I don’t want to take you there.” “Why?” “It’s horrible and the worst memories of my life exist there-” “You trust me?” “Yes.” “Then listen when I say, I know you. I know many of those memories, and if there are worse terrors it will not change how I see you. It will not change how much I love you.” “It will though. Some of the things I had to do and some of the things that were done to me, they are truly awful.” “I can swear to you it will not. And we can talk. I can tell you how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. It’s this great thing called communication.” “Shut up.” “Ok. Fine, only if you take me on the island.” “Tell me why you want to come so bad.” “You're so oblivious sometimes, it's adorable.” “Nothing about me says adorable Thomas.” “Thomas huh? Everything about you is adorable. Have you seen your face when you're happy, it’s the cutest thing in the world.” “Whatever you say. You’re such a sap.” “I am. And the reason I want to go is because of what you said. The worst memories of your life exist there.” “Yes and?” “It will be, if not close to, physiological torture returning there. If you haven’t noticed, I’m a tad protective of you.” Ollie rolled his eyes, “Of course I’ve noticed. I also know that I’m fairly mentally strong at this point.” “That doesn’t mean you don’t need a reminder that you no longer exist in those memories. A reminder that you live here. That you have a team that loves you and a boyfriend who loves you even more. And we live together in a wonderful apartment, and have some, might I say, wonderful sex and-” Oliver laughed, “I get your point, thanks, love.” “So?” “Yeah.” “Yeah I can come or yeah we have great sex.” With a smile on his face he said, “Yes you can come. Might need a refresher on the second part, though.” “Do you, now? I think that can be arranged.” They both started laughing, and then kissing. “Thanks,” Oliver whispered moments later. “Anytime, you’re my boy after all.”

+1:

He let him go. Well, no, he didn’t. He didn’t know, no one told him. Oliver didn’t tell him. What kind of stupid motherfucker goes and fights Ra’s al Ghul and doesn’t tell his fiance.”

He crashed into his father’s home, “MALCOM!” Malcolm seemed to be praying in his sparring room. “Hello son, it seems as though you’ve started using my name once more. What have I done this time?” “YOU LET OLIVER GO AND FIGHT RA’S AL GHUL.” “One does not ‘let’ Oliver Queen do anything. You of all people should know that.” “Stop with the cryptics, this is my fucking fiance we’re talking about.” “It was his choice.” “It was- I? Please just, is he alive?” “Likely no. These battles are to the death and Ra’s al Ghul-” “I’m not asking for your opinion, I’m asking for proof. His body, a sword, blood.” “I know a place that could tell you that information, I shall go. I mean no harm to you, son.” “No harm, no harm,” Tommy chuckled. “Come, I’m having tea, then I shall leave.” “Tea? Tea? Do you not remember when mum died? No course not, you are an apathetic killer. My fiance is, is missing and you want me to have tea with you. God, you really are a joke.” “I am doing you a favor here, Tommy.” “THIS IS YOUR FAULT.” “Do you really believe that? Or are you blaming me because you blame yourself. I-” Tommy was walking about before Malcom could end his sentence.

When Malcom returned with the sword, Tommy fell to his knees, tears filling his eyes. “It’s not Oliver blood, we don’t know yet-” Felicity attempted, already swabbing the sword. “And how do we know this is not fake?” Diggle questioned. “Because it is the family we are talking about. I do not take matters concerning family lightly.” “Thank you Malcom, you may leave now,” Tommy whispered, barely audible to the room. Malcolm dramatically exited, and Tommy was left waiting. “Felicity,” he managed weakly. There was a beep, a moment of absolute silence, and then a broken voice, “it’s his.”

How do you cancel a wedding venue, how do you sleep in a bed alone, how do you cook an omelette. These were all questions that he never needed to answer. But he did. It all changed.

He constantly blamed himself for not knowing and not stopping his boy. Each night he laid awake drifting between awake and lightly asleep. He wanted his Oliver. He wanted his boy to hold him tight and never let go. “Hey,” a voice said, a voice that sounded eerily familiar. “Shut up, shut up,” Tommy said, crying. He couldn’t hear that voice in his head. “Hey, it’s me, it’s me Tommy I promise.” “Oliver?” Then he was crying all over again, but this time he was crying into Oliver. “Don’t d-d-do that again.” Oliver was crying too, “I swear, I swear I won’t. I’m not going anywhere.”

#oliver queen #tommy merlyn x oliver queen #tommy merlyn #arrowverse #arrowverse fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #john diggle #felicity smoak #arrow #the green arrow

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jasperwhitcock · 4 years

Text

01. AN IMPOSSIBILITY

i stumbled upon a post you can read here from @bellasredchevy from like a year ago where she expanded on an au where bella & edward switch places where bella is a vampire in the cullen family and edward is a human. we’re all social distancing (or we all SHOULD be unless u have work so if ur out partying take ur ass home boo) so i had time to kill & i thought i’d write a chapter hehe.

It was an impossibility for me to have missed the presence of my adopted brother entering the room. What with my astute senses, my supernatural sensitivity to everything – the microscopic details of the book page’s porous beige paper, the length of his shadow stretching onto the floor beneath the novel in my hands, cast from the golden light of the hallway, the smooth, feathery finish of the paper under my frozen fingers, the whooshing sound of air caressing his mountainous stature as he appeared, the soft yet heavy thud of his feet against the floor – a sound nearly imperceptible, the impossible to place scent of something like bergamot, white cedar, rose, and sandalwood perfuming the room at his appearance. An impossibility, and yet, my focus was so invested in the words inked on the page, enamored with a story I’d read a hundred, a thousand, a million times, that I found myself shocked when the novel surprisingly ripped down the spine into two perfect halves before my eyes, another one of my novels that he had plucked off the shelf barreling towards my face. He had thrown the other book with such force that in the process of his attempt to grasp my attention, he knifehand-striked a book I had taken from my mother Renee’s sad little toilet-reading, bathroom basket collection of a library.

I was on my feet hunched towards him infinitesimally, the book that had been less than a centimeter from crashing into my face tenderly clutched in my right hand, my lips pulled back over my teeth to let out a snarl. The right half of the original novel I had held fell onto the floor with a thump a moment later. He stood crouched as well, a wicked smile spread on his lips, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He loved provocation – eliciting this kind of response in me fueled him. A fight with some authentic irritation, a fight with an edge.

“Time for school, baby sister,” He raised an eyebrow, inviting the challenge.

“Emmett,” I hissed through my teeth, tensed to launch myself at him. Part of my mind sifted through a dozen plans of attack, strategizing what would be my most successful method of taking him down since he was pretty much insurmountable. He had all the strength and all the size. Stealth would be my greatest chance. Another part of my mind pulsed with irritation, an irrational, furious mood swing sweeping over me. The kind of emotional response only our kind could experience...or handle. I nearly saw red as the rest of the words flew through my lips. “Couldn’t you have told me that without destroying a priceless artifact of my human life, big brother?”

I made the name sound like a curse word.

“Artifact?” Emmett snorted. “Please. How many times have you read that same damn story in the past few years? I did you a favor,” he smirked as he feigned right and left so fast that it was as if he hadn’t moved at all.

I tensed to hurl myself forward at the opportune moment before a tsunami tide of calmness washed over the room along with an earthy aroma of citrus, patchouli, musk, and leather. “We really should be leaving now,” my other adopted brother Jasper murmured in his lightly southern accent as he appeared.

“Restricting as it may be, vehicles only allow up to a certain speed, and Esme wouldn’t like for us to be late,” my tiny sister materialized by his side in a blur of porcelain skin and inky black hair. “Although, maybe she’d get a kick out of a call home for tardiness,” Alice laughed, a sound like windchimes. “I can tell you who would have won or you could have your fight later.”

“Ugh,” Emmett groaned in disappointment, dropping his stance. “It’s so hard to get her that riled up. Fuck!” He complained, grumpily disappearing from the room in a flash.

“Later,” He promised under his breath from the garage.

“You would have won,” Alice mouthed, her beautiful lips stretching into a secretive smile as she winked. She picked up the other half of the novel I had purposefully dropped to catch the meteor Emmet had propelled, tossing it in the air towards me in one fluid motion.

I grinned to myself, gently tucked the other book back into its rightful place on the shelf across the room, and caught the ruined piece before it hit the ground. My face immediately dropped into a frown as I analyzed both halves. Fortunately, Pride and Prejudice was not beyond repair. I could mend the division by sewing it back together down the spine later. I set the injured book down and flew downstairs not a moment later. As I passed my adopted mother on the way to the door, I pecked her on the cheek before exiting the house and sliding into the dark leather backseat of the pearly white car next to Alice. Without checking the mirrors, Rosalie sped out of the garage as soon as the door lifted enough for us to clear.

The trees outside the windows were a green haze as we flew by, our speed only decreasing when we arrived in the main part of town among other drivers. We could have ran to school much, much faster – and thus not had any concern about tardiness – but without our cars for appearance, our show might prove unconvincing. It wasn’t abnormal to walk to school in the unrelenting pouring of rain in our small town of Forks, Washington. However, though few people in town knew the location of our home, perhaps the front office ladies might find it concerning that a group of teenagers trekked a half marathon to their classes. It was unlikely they’d care to look up the address from our files, but we were never too cautious.

I liked running. I had been characterized as very clumsy in my human life, so it was a welcome change to feel graceful and coordinated. It was a welcome change to feel powerful. It was, however, unwelcome to participate in the daily charade of masquerading as exactly the opposite of that. As much as I had enjoyed my afterlife, I loathed the same thing many teenagers did, a hatred that may be my greatest commonality with the humans that surrounded me.

High school. I didn’t mind school prior to my immortal life. I had been decent and even above-average in most subjects. I had been a responsible, diligent, and quiet seventeen year old: I paid attention, I completed assignments in time, I spent most of my time in solitude which allowed me ample time to study. There were subjects I enjoyed far more than others that kept things interesting enough for me. Unfortunately, after a number of graduations, high school lost any potential interest and became something of a purgatory. Even classes like English lost their charm over time. Once you had spent years studying literature from the greatest professors, scholars, and writers both living and dead, it was immensely rare for a small town high school English teacher to offer a new take that would make my attendance worthwhile.

Attending high school provided us with the opportunity to remain in one place longer, so complain as much as I want, I suppose it’s something to fill the endless amounts of time. Still, that didn’t make the obligation any more tolerable.

Rosalie hummed along to a song playing quietly through the speakers while Emmett sulked in the passenger seat over having missed out on a fight. I smiled, a bit smug. On the other side of Alice occupying the middle seat, I sensed Jasper’s head jerk slightly in my direction to see the expression that reflected my slight change in mood. I shook my head, still smiling, and he smirked a bit himself before returning his attention back to his window. His scarred hand traced affectionate circles onto Alice’s hand in her lap, and she stared forward, her unfocused eyes seeing not what was in front of her, but the potential realities of the future.

They were a gifted couple. We become immensely enhanced when we’re transformed from being human, and as a result, some immortals are equipped with a special gift on top of their already unparalleled supernatural senses. Our creator and father figure Carlisle theorized that our strongest traits from our human life develop in even stronger ways once we’ve been changed. Jasper’s influential nature flourished into a skill of sensing and manipulating the emotional climate of those around him. Alice’s gift was even more unique. She could see into the future. We didn’t know what in her human life this had developed from. Her past is a secret to not only us, but Alice as well.

I too was gifted. For some time, we had no idea until I had met our cousins. In Denali, Alaska, there was another coven similar to us not just in kind but in diet and ideology who we considered extended family. Another commonality we share is that they also have gifted immortals among their coven. One of the only males, Eleazar’s, gift was sensing the abilities of other vampires, and he had detected my ability. He revealed, to all of our surprise, that I was something called a mental shield. It’s a talent of blocking out any powers that could invade my mind, and it is absolutely, entirely useless to me. I didn’t have a need for this kind of protection. My gift was a complete waste.

The drizzling rain was picking up into a steadier shower as we pulled into the small parking lot of Forks High School. Scenting the earthy, fresh stormy air was the tempting fragrance of the students’ pulsing blood as they ran for the dry cover of the maroon brick buildings. I was entirely satiated from my most recent hunt. Still, my throat burned with the slight dryness that would never completely go away. Jasper sighed.

There were only a few late stragglers hurrying from their vehicles towards their classes that could potentially see us, but as Rosalie parked, we moved at the frustratingly slow pace of the humans around us as a precaution. No risks. After exiting the car, Alice tossed me my backpack of useless school material from the trunk. I slid one strap over my shoulder and departed from my siblings for my first class.

The rest of the morning dragged along like a slow, drawn out sigh. I spent most of the time in my classes thinking of ways I could reorganize the book shelves in my room again. By genre, by author name, by theme, by year published, by year the story takes place, by favorite author, by alphabetical order of the location the story was set, by date of author’s death, by favorite to least favorite protagonist, by which accumulated the most pieces of literary criticism, by section that each family member might enjoy the most, by order in which I first read each, by order of which I read most to least, by order of which my family had read most to least, by alphabetical order of the antagonist’s name, and by which was least to most realistic were all ways I had structured my personal library in the past few years. I was toying with the idea of organizing by order of the birthday of the first character introduced, but a lot of the birthdays had not been established throughout the plot. I would have to decide where they would fit throughout the year based on which zodiac sign I might consider them to have depending on their character traits. Not that I held much stock in astrology – horoscopes did me no good when I had a future-telling sister.

The only difference in this day than any other day was that the trivial gossip I unintentionally overheard throughout the hallways concerned a new addition to the student body. This stirred up a lot of interest seeing as the majority of the children here knew each other for the entirety of their lives. What I had gathered in passing was that it was a junior boy named Edward Masen from Chicago who had recently moved from living abroad with his family. The girls were very excited – they considered him a very attractive potential new love interest. Attractive, though those who had been brave enough to speak to him found him to be impenetrable despite his charm. I wondered what the boy would make of me and my family.

I joined my siblings at our lunch table, the farthest table from everybody else in the room. In front of each of us was the prop of a lunch tray piled with unappetizing food. Alice sat, staring forward with empty eyes again, living in her own ever-changing reality. Jasper and Emmett made a hacky sack out of an apple and subtly kicked it back and forth in the air beneath the table, the apple moving too fast for human eyes to detect. Rose twirled a piece of her golden hair around in her hands, disinterested. Her thoughts were clearly elsewhere. As were all of ours. Occasionally she participated in their game by intercepting the apple with her foot.

“The new student’s going to ask about us in approximately fifteen seconds,” Alice chirped, her face returning to the present.

Emmett chuckled quietly.

“What will be said, and how will the boy respond?” Rosalie asked, her foot sending the apple reeling toward the ceiling.

Alice caught the apple in her slender, white hand before tossing it back to Emmett to end the game. “No different than anything else that’s been said, and no different than anybody else.”

I scanned the cafeteria to find the new student, so I could place a face to the upcoming conversation I’d be listening in on.

My eyes locked with a pair of soft green eyes set in a pale, angular face beneath an untidy mess of strange bronze hair. I looked away immediately but caught the beginning jolt of shock lighting up those surprisingly wise eyes.

“Who are they?” The boy gasped. So it had been my gaze that brought Alice’s vision to life. No doubt he’d immediately recognize the subtle differences that distinguish our kind from his. Emmett and I exchanged a glance, laughing under our breath as another junior student I recognized as Naomi Parker provided the common knowledge of the strange Cullen children. The story was complicated. In Forks, the explanation for our family was that Carlisle had adopted his twin niece and nephew, Rosalie and Jasper Hale, after the unexpected passing of his much older half-brother. Similarly, after a tragic car accident took the lives of Esme’s parents in addition to her aunt and uncle, she took in her younger siblings, Emmett and I, along with her niece Alice to look after us. Bonding over the shared experience of so much responsibility so young, Carlisle and Esme eloped, and we formed one giant, misshapen family.

Instinctively, I caught the apple in my hand just as it nearly turned into applesauce by means of collision with my stone face. I snarled at Emmett’s hysteric expression, hiding my hand from view so that anyone watching would have missed the entire catch. “Would you quit doing that today!?”

Rosalie shot Emmett a disapproving look. He shouldn’t be so irresponsible when we were clearly on display for the new Masen kid. I shot a minute glance towards his table to make sure they were no longer watching us. The boy seemed to be focused on the information he was receiving.

“This,” I snarled, sneakily disintegrating the apple into a pulp in my hand below the table where the humans couldn’t see, “will be what happens to you at home.” I made a show of letting the mush slide off my hand onto my tray.

My brother guffawed, and my other siblings joined in the laughter.

“In your dreams!”

I couldn’t help but laugh as well. I also couldn’t help but feel the intensity of watching eyes.

“Who’s the girl with the really long dark hair?” The soft, low voice of the boy asked quietly from across the room.

Reflexively, my eyes met his stare once again. He looked away quickly.

“That’s Bella. She’s insanely beautiful obviously, but if you’re thinking about trying to talk to her, forget it,” Naomi shrugged.

Once lunchtime was over, we disbanded to head off to the last half of yet another monotonous day. On my way out of the cafeteria, I purposely bumped into the trash can for Emmett’s benefit as he and Rose followed close behind. The action was a little more violent than I intended, and the plastic container bent slightly at the force.

“Oops,” I bit my lip to keep from smiling as he erupted into laughter. Upon our move to Forks, it had become something of a joke between Emmett and I for me to feign clumsiness. I didn’t participate in this joke daily, but every once in a while I’d sprinkle in an elaborate fall for his sake.

When I reached my junior level Biology class, I settled into my seat at the lab table I shared with no one. I laid the books devoid of any information relevant to me out on the table, and propped an elbow on the surface to hold my head up in my hand, awaiting the oncoming tedium.

The room filled as students returned from lunch. I paid them no attention, my eyes fixated on counting the snow-like particles of chalk dust floating in the air likely from Mr. Molina writing on the board prior to the end of lunch.

“Ah, welcome, Mr. Masen! We’re so glad to have you join us. You can take the seat next to Miss Cullen,” I looked up to find the biology teacher pointing in my direction. Next to him was the new boy. Standing up, he appeared very lanky – several inches taller than our teacher – though his physique was still slightly muscular.

I pulled the books closer to my side of the table to make room for him, feeling bad that he had the misfortune of being assigned the seat next to me. He would probably feel more comfortable anywhere else. Not only because I didn’t go out of my way to interact much with my classmates, but because their long-buried survival instincts told them what their brains didn’t totally understand: we were dangerous.

I had never been more dangerous than I was in that moment. Because after the Masen kid politely thanked the teacher, he turned down the aisle, directly in front of the heated airflow that blew towards me.

His scent washed over me like the most vicious, violent wave, a wall of unrelenting water in a heavy thunderstorm in the middle of the ocean, drowning me, taking me down, down, down, further and further away from the traces of humanity I had once clung to.

In every direction of this blackest of depths, there was no escape that could lead me back to the light; I resurfaced as the monster I pretended not to be.

The sweet enticing smell of Edward Masen’s blood compelled my throat to rupture into a burning, aching fire. I had never been ablaze with such need. My mouth was pooling with venom as my prey approached. Since he spoke, he had only taken another step forward. He would not take another.

As my muscles begged for the release that would send me springing forward, stealing the first life of my existence, those sage eyes glanced at me, widening in bewilderment at the vicious expression contorting my features.

With great difficulty, I emerged from my horrible, repulsive compulsion. The look on his face was enough to spare him another moment.

His scent perfumed the air around me; I was encompassed in this irresistable cloud of bloodlust, eager to leap up and put an end to this unexpected torture.

In all my years of immortality, I had never experienced a desire this overwhelming. I had never been so vulnerable to committing this kind of atrocity. My record was clean. With guidance, I had been able to restrain myself from the temptation of human blood. Of course, instinct is not easily fought. Sometimes the abstinence was painful. But never like this.

A dozen scenarios on how to kill this poor human boy crossed my mind, and I combatted every single one with the last miserable shred of self control I had left. I had never exerted so much effort. The toil was something hazily reminiscent of human exhaustion, weighing heavily onto me.

I had no choice but to end his life. There was no other way.

He awkwardly settled into the seat next to me, aware of some unknown hostility, but unaware of the ferocity raging within, unaware of the way his blood sang to me, inviting me in, inviting me to betray all my years of discipline, effort, and tolerance. Inviting me to betray my family.

Despite the absolute consumption, by some miracle, I resisted.

I desperately clung to the thought of my family. Rosalie. Esme. Carlisle. Alice. Emmett. Jasper.

They loved me. They would forgive me for this detestable, inexorable act. They would understand. They wouldn’t harbor any judgment.

But how could I let them down in this way? Everything about who we are, everything about what unites us and bonds us is intricately traced back to the compassion that rules over our lives. It’s what makes us different from others of our kind. It’s what allows us to retain some remnants of the humanity we’ve lost. So just as I’ve done before, I would withstand human blood now. No matter the agony that accompanies the resistance.

I took one last deep breath. The scent washed down my throat, burning me alive from the inside out.

I wouldn’t dare to breath for the next torturous hour. It was uncomfortable to forgo the sensation, but the consequences that would follow if I did breathe had far worse implications.

Could I last that long? What was I trying to prove? Was the possibility of a lapse in the best of my judgment worth not succumbing to the honest truth – that I had more weakness in the face of human blood than I thought?

Perhaps Emmett might make fun of me. Perhaps Jasper might secretly appreciate someone else struggling more than he did. But Carlisle and Esme wouldn’t see any weakness in leaving. They’d be proud of me for making this decision. They’d understand.

The last of the students were arriving from lunchtime. Now was the greatest opportunity to escape without drawing too much attention. In my peripheral, I saw the boy open his mouth to begin to speak to me.

If I didn’t leave now, I never would. My resolve was slipping away with every thud of the boy’s heart.

I got up and walked to the front of the classroom a little too fast.

“Mr. Molina?” I asked, my voice tight. The biology teacher looked up from a lesson plan he was reviewing, his eyes startled as he registered my face. I heard his heartbeat pick up from the surprise.

“I’m feeling a little... unwell. May I be excused?” I utilized the last of my breath, hoping the subtle begging in my voice didn’t prompt more questions.

Mr. Molina recollected himself, his eyebrows pulling together in slight concern along with confusion. The Cullens were never sick.

“Of course, Miss Cullen. Do you need a nurse’s pass-” He began before I cut him off, resentfully taking another tormenting breath. The scent sent my mind reeling. I fought for coherency in my thoughts.

I didn’t need to work to put on a show; I probably looked pale and sick enough.

“No thank you,” I spoke quickly, desperate for the relief of fresh, untainted air.

“Alright, then. I hope you feel better-” I was out of the room before he could finish the rest of the statement. The bell for class rang. The hallways were empty, so I risked the charade and began to move at an inhuman speed around the corner. Only when I had exited the building did I allow myself to breathe again. I gasped, nearly choking on the mouthfuls of clean air when I reached the car. My head was still spinning as I climbed into the drivers’ seat. I gave little thought to worrying if my quick movements in the classroom would reveal too much. I hoped that the students were too focused on finishing up their leftover conversations from lunch to notice.

With a jolt, I realized I was not alone in the car. In the passenger seat sat my tiny sister.

“Bella?” She asked, her pitch-black eyes unable to convey the concern that was etched on the rest of her pixie-like features.

“Alice,” I breathed. I had been so distracted with my own thoughts I hadn’t even paid any attention to the proximity of the familiar vanilla and jasmine fragrance of her skin. What was wrong with me today?

“Are you alright? I saw…”

I winced, knowing what she must have seen.

“I’m fine. I just… I-... I don’t know what happened…” The words flew rapidly out of my mouth.

“Do you need help? Should I grab the boys? Or would you like to leave-”

“No! No. It’s really not...a big deal. I’m just going to… I promise I’m fine. I won’t go back there-” I gulped, the venom filling my mouth as I even considered returning to the class where he sat. Alice’s eyes widened, so I stopped the thought in its tracks. “Rosalie has a free period right now. I think I’ll go find her. I’ll see you when school is over.”

I reached for the door, turning away from her, shame filling me, making me unwilling to face her any longer. Her slender hand grabbed my other wrist, pulling me to a stop. “I’ll come with you.”

“Don’t. I’m fine, Alice!” I pulled my hand away too defensively. Regret replaced the shame for a moment. “Sorry.”

I left her alone in the car, feeling guilty.

I knew it was risky to utilize my sense of smell, but following the sweet, warm aroma of orange blossom, marshmallow, and roses – and avoiding anywhere remotely near the science wing – I found my other sister alone in an empty classroom. Now that it had been distinguished from the rest, I could still smell the boy, but with more distance between us, I fought the temptation off.

“You’re not in class?” She asked as she typed into a computer, her back turned to me. It looked as though she was searching for some car parts. Even though I helped her in the garage sometimes, after all these years I was still no better at identifying anything related to automobiles.

“Rose...” I began, before stopping short, unsure of what to say.

She turned around in an indiscernible millisecond, her breathtaking face worried at the tone of my voice. “What’s wrong?”

She reached for me consolingly. Though I didn’t need the rest – I could stand still for hours on end and never feel tired – I sat on the floor beside her chair, hugging my knees to my chest, my eyes fixated on the dust deep in the roots of the rough, outdated carpet.

Her silky hands smoothly brushed through my hair, patiently waiting for me to build up the courage to speak. It felt nice.

After a few seconds, she spoke up. “Bella, you’re worrying me.”

I sighed.

“I’ve never...struggled this way before,” I admitted, exasperated with myself.

I could see that she was nodding out of the corner of my eye, immediately understanding. “That’s nothing to be ashamed about, Bella.”

I didn’t need to see her face to know her perfect lips were set into a deep frown. She wasn’t lying to me, but I knew to her, this existence was everything to be ashamed about.

“I won’t pretend that I don’t find myself...repulsed with...well, what we are. That’s no secret to anyone.” Her musical laughter had a dark edge to it. “But I’ve spent enough time for all of us hating myself for the impulses we have and the tragedy of our existence. You needn’t be so hard on yourself. It’s alright to...” She trailed off, selecting different words. “We’ve chosen an abnormal path in this non-life of ours. The terrible consequences of what we are are normal” – her hands froze in my hair briefly saying the word – “so try to let go of the shame I know you’re feeling, though I don’t blame you for feeling that way.”

She paused for a moment before adding, “you know we won’t allow you to harm anyone.”

I bit down on my lower lip. I was glad I came to Rosalie. She didn’t think I was being overdramatic the way Emmett might have.

Though I deeply loved my mother from my human life, there hadn’t been much maternal guidance. We had a strong bond, but I was far more of the caretaker than she was. I had been very lucky in this immortal life. Esme treated me as her own daughter, and I became truly taken care of. Just as Esme became the most loving mother figure in all the ways that counted, Rosalie became the very best protective older sister. My life had no shortage of supportive femininity and womanhood.

I heard a springy, featherlight approach of fast footsteps.

“I told you not to follow me,” I grumbled.

Alice poked her tongue out at me as she entered the room and fluttered to my other side, joining my other sister in stroking my head. “You’ll forgive me. I didn’t want to be left out of a sister moment.”

Her words brought half a smile to my face.

I closed my eyes, allowing myself to be comforted by Rosalie’s words and the soft feeling of my sisters’ hands in my hair.

Yes, it was undeniable what I was. I could never change the fact. But I could change the fate of this boy, and I could deny myself the instincts that identified me this way. I could deny myself Edward Masen.

#twilight au #twilight fanfiction #twilight renaissance #the twilight saga #twilight saga #edward cullen #bella swan #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #jasperwhitcock #equinoxjw

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themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy · 4 years

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I wanna see tony and the avengers finding out about peter having a long term gf and making fun of him, then meeting her and she's super nervous but they absolutely adore her and they keep embarrassing peter and hes just so red sksuxuksvsb

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I too would like to see this

I’m gonna make it more gender neutral just because :)

Let’s be real Peter Parker only has a few flaws but the biggest one is that he cannot keep any secret

*Makes web fluid in chemistry while also expecting no one to know that he is the Spider-Man*

*Vaults over school gates while also expecting no one to know that he is the Spider-Man*

*Jumps out of the bus window in front of his whole school and puts on the Spider-Man mask while also expecting no one to know that he is the Spider-Man*

Anyways

So this relationship would have slipped out real fast

“And Y/N was like-”

“Who’s Y/N?”

Peter would get all blushy hehe

“Just my friend.” His voice cracks smh

loser

Every single person in that room knows that that is a LIE

“A close friend?”

“Uh, yeah, we’re pretty close, I guess.”

“How close?”

“I don’t really know how to judge how close we are-”

“Judging by the fact that your cheeks are as red as your suit, I say we’ve discovered something.” Tony just kinda smacks Peter a bit u know

Peter is on FIRE

A few weeks pass and you and Peter are standing outside on campus after school

Just talking

And a car pulls up, rolls down the window, and the person inside yells at u

You don’t quite hear what they’re saying but you heard your name and Peter’s and Peter pales at the voice

Come to find out that it’s Tony Stark

:))))))

You just kinda

Peter is so red omg

He finally grabs your hand (his is all sweaty smh) and runs over to the car

Tony leans out the window all smooth smh

“I’m Tony Stark, but I bet you already knew that.”

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” You’re just kinda :o still

“Um... we were gonna walk.”

“Change of plans, we’re never gonna get to see you this embarrassed again, so I’m kidnapping you both and taking you back to the tower. Everyone else already knows, there’s no escape.”

You’re almost peeing your pants bc Iron Man is telling you that he’s kidnapping you and that there is no escape

Peter just sighs, softly apologizes to you, and tugs you into the back of the car

You and Peter are frantically texting in the back like ‘is this legal’ ‘I don’t think laws apply to him anymore’ ‘if I’m not home before dinner I’m gonna be dead and not even Iron Man can save me’

You get to the tower and Tony is like aH u gen z kids and ur phOnes come on inside :)))

Tony puts a hand on both of your shoulders and steers you inside the tower

The elevator ride is so bad omg it’s just Peter being so awkward

“Is Captain Rogers here?” (Y’ALL I WROTE MR ROGERS AT FIRST KABGANJDFD)

“Of course, he’s about to lost a bet with me that Y/N actually exists. He didn’t think you were capable of it, kid.”

Peter is about to cRy

“And Ms. Romanoff?”

“Yeah. And Bucky, and Bruce, and Thor. You’re not getting cut any slack tonight.”

The elevator doors open and you go to step out but then Tony turns around and smiles at you

It’s like half genuine

“Welcome, Y/N.”

You walk into literal chaos

There is someone upside down on the couch (upon further inspection it is Thor, the god of tHuNdEr)

Two people are what looks like wrestling on the ground and honestly it just looks really gay (smh Bucky Steve can u not)

Captain America is the first one to notice u and shoves the other guy off

Frowns for a second

Pulls out his wallet

Hands Tony a ten dollar bill

“Wait, you really had a bet going?” Peter is so betrayed.

“Parker, you can’t even order at a restaurant without stuttering and nearly giving up, was I really supposed to believe you were smooth enough to land yourself a relationship?”

Peter is :(

The other guy gets off of the floor and u see that his whole arm is metal

You’re seriously almost crying u are so scared

There is like

such a dad

Just reading in the corner

And he looks up and sees you

He stands and politely introduces himself to you

“Hello Y/N, my name is Bruce Banner, it’s nice to meet you.”

He is the only normal one smh

A woman stands up from the couch and she’s not visibly armed or anything but you can feel your soul leave your body because she is just so so intimidating

She walks over and gives u a lil smile

“I’m Natasha Romanoff. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

The man with the whole metal arm and Captain America stand up

They each introduce yourself and wow you just shook Captain America’s hand how does that feel

Steve likes you ngl he thinks you’re neat

Bucky doesn’t give you his metal arm to shake and you are thankful for that because you think you might pass out any second if he did

They invite you to sit down so you do and then Peter sits right next to you but then Steve sits on your other side and you’re so nervous

They’re watching some dumb action movie but like they’re the avengers that’s their whole lives

Bucky stays quiet but will laugh whenever Steve makes a crack about Peter being too awkward to have a relationship yet

Tony Steve and Natasha just destroy Peter

“Once time he was trying to swing upside down and-”

“Mr. Stark, please don’t-”

“And he not only fell, but he took the ceiling tile with him!”

“Mr Stark!”

“I had to replace that myself!” Tony just >:( at Peter and Peter is like o no

Natasha keeps ruffling his hair and each time she does Peter blushes redder and redder and you’re laughing more and more

They probably invite you for dinner ngl

I loved this idea so I made it super long oops

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theartoflivingalways · 4 years

Text

i’ve been awake for over 24 hours

I haven’t been on tumblr in years. i stopped using it after high school, but I don’t know why. but now I’m back tonight, because I needed someone to talk to, but I have no one to listen. i have friends, i have family, i have a boyfriend. i have a therapist. but no matter what: i feel so unheard, so unseen, and so ignored by everyone in my life that i literally feel like i have no one to truly turn to. for anything. so, here i am. hope i get a warm welcome!!!

here’s the thing: i’m NOT a depressed person. i’m not sad, i don’t have any major mental health issues apart from anxiety and some adhd. and before you take that the wrong way, please don’t. i just got my master’s degree in social work and i’ll be starting my new job as a therapist in a couple of weeks.

but, i’m also NOT a happy person. tbh, i can’t really describe my overall ~mood~ or whatever you wanna call it. i kinda just wake up and survive the day, every day. i take it one day at a time ... kinda like what AA says to do; but no, before you ask or the thought crosses your mind, i’m not an addict. at least not a alcohol/other drugs addict ??? sorry

maybe this is why there’s no one to listen when i need them to. i fucking ramble about literally nothing before getting to the point.

it’s weird that i’m writing right now (ok, typing???). i haven’t done this since i was little. it feels good to do this, to have some sort of outlet when you feel so fucking unseen and unheard by every. single. person. around you.

so i haven’t slept in over 24 hours. it’s my own fault for sure and i have adderall to thank for that (yes i’m prescribed). i decided to start a blog again because i’m sitting here, still wide awake in my apartment, alone, while my boyfriend is sound asleep in my bedroom.

so what’s my fucking problem??? why do i want someone to talk to?? i don’t know honestly. i just feel like lately all i do is listen to others, help others, give myself completely to others. and in return, i get nothing. nothing even close to what i give, or to what i’m capable of giving. which is sad. not for me particularly (maybe?), but for others, yes, i think so.

i’m not saying that i expect anything in return for helping others, because i don’t. i didn’t enter the field of social work for the fucking money. and i know a lot of fucked up shit is going on in the world right now, and in no way do i want to minimize ANY of that. i’m just feeling a little lost and lonely, so i’m hoping this is a new outlet for me to sort out those feelings.

the last couple of hours, i’ve had a LONG string of thoughts. if you read through, you’ll eventually found out how they started. but one of the things i’ve been wrestling with in my mind is the type of person i am.

you see, it’s difficult to be “that” person for others your whole life, especially all the fucking time. if you’re anything like me, you know what i mean by that. and if you aren’t anything like me, well, first of all congrats!!!!, and secondly, i’ll explain what i mean.

when you’re “that” person for others, like myself, it’s easy for other people to walk all over you. take advantage of you, take you for granted, expect you to ALWAYS be there no matter the cost. and of course, why wouldn’t they? you’re always there to help. you’re ALWAYS there to offer support, guidance, and advice. you’re nurturing. you listen. you’re a fucking irreplaceable, loyal to death friend. if you’re VERY much like me, you’re also the one person in your family who isn’t a total fuck up (at least not publicly?)

you’re also nonjudgmental, and you were blessed with the curse of being empathic towards others at all times. empathy of course is beautiful and a very good thing to have in this life, but do you know how hard it is to feel for every single person around you.. and not have anyone feel for you???? damn

also, you never let anyone down!! ever. you’re reliable, dependable, trustworthy to the point where it’s almost sketchy because like??? who can be that way to everyone else at all times? you guessed it- people like me and people like u!! (if this is even semi-relatable, i’m sorry)

but people like us, like you, like me, tend to do this thing where we keep the same shitty fucking toxic people around that have hurt us, continue to hurt us both indirectly and directly, and who have let us down time and time again, because we continue clinging on to the fucking useless hope that “someday they’ll change”. someday, they’ll realize how fucking important you are to them and how shitty their lives are, and would be, without you in it.

you- we - also live by honesty and truthfulness, and assume others just live by this as well. but then you’re proved wrong over and over and over again, yet you never fucking learn your lesson because you are STILL hopeful that somewhere, somehow, deep down, other people DO stand by the morals you try so hard to stand by in life. most of the time, though, you’re completely avoiding the reality of other people and their experiences and who they really are, only to try to fit your own narrative of how you see things and how you think things should be.

if this sounds anything like you... i’m sorry. i know it all too well.

i grew up as the “golden child” in my family. not just my immediate family. my entire fucking family. the pressure to be perfect has lead me to develop debilitating anxiety in my 20′s, and it is what it is, but like, why the fuck couldn’t i have anxiety in high school like a normal teenager? why now?

so yeah my anxiety’s pretty bad. it’s pretty bad tonight, which is why i turned here. to tumblr. to try to write out my thoughts. which, by the way, i’m sorry, because this is an absolute fucking mess and makes no sense. if you are reading this, though, thank you. thank you for listening when no one else seems to.

anyway. growing up with the pressure of being *perfect* has a cost. at least for me it did: 1) anxiety of course, and 2) perfectionist tendencies. these have literally- LITERALLY - ruined my entire college and graduate school experience. perfectionism combined with anxiety is a recipe for fucking disaster, and i’ve been cooking it for years.

i am deliberately writing this without proper punctuation/grammer/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit, not capitalizing my letters etc., because i want to not have to be so perfect all the time on here, if this is something i’m going to stick to. i know that sounds silly but it’s actually been very difficult for me to write in all lower-caps and i’m very worried that no one will even read this and HEAR ME because of my literacy negligence (i have no idea if that’s even a real thing or if it even has meaning but it sounded right)

do u want to know why i decided to write this though, truly? what lead to me feeling like i’m “spiraling” - apart from no sleep in over 24 hours now? well, get ready to laugh, because i truly think i’m pathetic and going crazy.

i went to dinner tonight with my boyfriend and his fam. our waitress was a girl i used to know years ago in high school. my boyfriend knew her too. in fact, he knew her VeRY well. for the sake of my anxious overthinking, i don’t feel like going too much into the details of *that* situation, so thanks in advance for understanding.

anyway. this corny bitch made a joke about the current political environment. i won’t say what exactly, because i’d really like to keep my identity as concealed as absolutely possible on here. but long story short, no one really laughed - every one just kinda smiled awkwardly. but you know who did laugh? my boyfriend :)

TO ME, it seemed intentional. she wasn’t fucking funny, for one. she made a bad - no, a very bad- joke. like one of those corny dad jokes. not even a dad joke actually. a step-dad joke, except your step-dad is a loser that you hate, who treats ur mom/dad bad, has no sense of humor or a horrible sense of humor and idk, just fucking sucks you know ???

sorry that got kinda dark and it was unnecessary but do u know what i mean??? and no, that was literally not relevant to me or my family system/structure in any way. just kinda came to me, ya know? ...writing works in mysterious ways man

alright so if you don’t agree, that’s fine. i already told you to get ready to laugh, because i am well aware of how insane i fucking sound. but you know what makes anxiety & perfectionism 100x harder to cope with? insecurities. and i’m FULL of them.

so anyway. we left dinner. him & i were driving home. i will admit that i did have some wine at dinner, and i wasn’t drunk but i definitely was feeling cocky enough to stir the pot with him. so, i casually said, “hey... didn’t you date _____?” *insert annoying waitress’s name who i knew once upon a time*

i said it very calmly. very coooool. v collected and nice. he said “no? i’ve never even talked to or hungout with that girl”.

i wish u could see my face as i’m writing this right now bc i cannnot. like i gave u a choice.... the opportunity. tHE SIMPLE opportunity - a chance - to be fucking honest................................

this dude. straight up. lied to my face. about this fucking girl. ???????

YEARS AGO, they most certainly did talk. a lot. in fact, my crAZy ass searched their names on facebook to find their old little love notes to each other that they posted on each others’ walls. which were very cringey but nothing that made me feel jealous or insecure (for once). after all, they were from years ago- i’m talking 5+ - so likeeee.... why would he lie (:

oh and they definitely did hang out because.... i remember clearly.... a PICTURE OF THE two of them *together* *hangin* (prob bangin too) (sorry) years ago in this now-waitress’s bedroom. i believe it was a ~webcam photo~ that they took on the new mac computer her parents prob bought her. so this photo is now NO WHERE to be found. and believe me, i looked. no, i LURKED. i went to the beginnnning of her instagram posts and deep into her uploaded facebook pictures. ok, not ‘deep’, i literally got to the first pic she ever posted on FB just to try to find this damn picture. and it took me for. fucking. ever. because this bitch has prolly posted a million pictures in the last 5+ years like who does that???

but i swear to fucking whatever the fuck that this picture exists. i have fucking seen it. i’d describe it in perfect detail right now as if i saw it today, but, once again, i’m concealin my identity, yo, so i can’t do all that. v sorry

anywho. this dude - who i call my boyfriend (and yes i love him very very much and our past is absolutely fucked but that’s a whole other story for a very different time) - had the nerve, the audacity, to tell me to my face, that he “definitely doesn’t have a picture with her” because “they’ve never hung out or talked before” ... ?!??????

obv i sent him screenshots of the dirt i dug up on facebook from 5+ years ago (i.e., the old posts between them in case ya forgot during my rambling) bc like, caught ya in a lie sir. red handed.

i might be late on mentioning this part, but here’s the fucking kicker (and i’ve never used that phrase and i don’t know why i said that but ok?): TODAY, for the first time in MONTHS, literally!!!, bc of the virus and the quarantine and all that, i got ready today for dinner with his family. like actually got ready. i spent HOURS doing my make up. i don’t even remember the last time i did my make up, ok. i dressed in a really cute outfit. i felt fucking very good about myself. i thought for sure when he’d come pick me up to go to dinner he’d at least say something. at least acknowledge it. he has literally only seen me in raw form for too many days now. like, complete bare face and sweat pants basically every day since march.

but. did he even look at me twice?!!? no. did he mention anything about how i looked? how it was drastically different from my everyday attire the last couple months? did he take 2 seconds out of his day to say something corny or flirty to me? even just, “you look beautiful”??? honestly i would’ve even appreciated, “you look beautiful, for once” ???

did u guess the correct answer? well if u didn’t, it’s N O.

but u know who he did look at twice.

our waitress at dinner.

i think i wrote enough for one night. if u think this is my anxiety/perfectionism/insecurities combination spiraling out of control after being tamed incessantly for 20+ years, PLZ TELL ME.

but also, if you have a fucking brain, you’d know that:

1) this is definitely NOT the first time i’ve responded to something like this the way i did, and

2) i really just needed to ramble on and vent about all the shit that’s been going through my mind the last 2 1/2 hours, so there’s that.

have a good night get some sleep!!! thank u for ur time.

#why #me #cantsleep #upfor24hours #adderall #waitress #insecure #perfect #anxiety #sorry #helpme #help #needsleep #dontwanttotho #goodnight #getsomerest #ily #thanku

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dreamingformuses · 5 years

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my iron dad bingo! i requested it before i saw endgame, so the original one was really whumpy, so i changed some of the prompts myself ;) @irondadbingo i hope thats alright! my first prompt is ‘nightmares’  read on ao3 @penis-parkerrr @ur-a-lizard-hairy @agib-2002 let me know if you like to be added to the tag list! (if i forgot you, i’m very sorry)  to set the stage: this is set post-endgame, but when tony did his thanos-killing snap, carol came in to help him because she is Super Powerful, and they kinda had a moment like in gotg 1. neither of them died, and all the dusted characters are back. “Hey, Peter?” Tony called. He could see him hunched over whatever he was working on across the table.  “Hmm?” Peter answered, not even bothering to lift his head.  “It’s getting late. And it’s a Friday, so if you want, you’re welcome to stay here for the night. As long as Aunt Hottie’s okay with it, of course.”  “I thought we promised never to use Aunt Hottie again.” Peter put down his pencil and raised his eyebrow. “And where are Pepper and Morgan?”  “Whatever. But text her, will you?” Tony said, and mimed typing on a phone. “There’s no rush to get to bed, of course. You know I’ll be here until at least two or three. And the lovely ladies are out of town, visiting Pep’s parents. So you don’t have to worry about wrangling Morgan to bed again.” Peter laughed ruefully. That was an experience he’d not soon forget. He then whipped out his phone and sent a quick message to May. She replied not long after.  “She said yeah!” Peter shouted over the whirr of Tony’s drill. Tony flashed the okay sign, and they both continued on their projects. The webshooters’ release mechanism had gotten clogged up, so Peter was hard at work on a new formula that hopefully wouldn’t harden while it was still sitting in the holding chamber. Tony was busy banging out sheets of titanium alloy for his new and improved rocket boots.  They stayed in the lab until well past the sun had set. FRIDAY had spoken up at around eleven, reminding Peter that it might be in his best interests to get to bed sooner rather than later. Peter just laughed, and said that he was too far into his equations to back out now. Nobody argued with him. It wasn’t until half past twelve that Peter had actually fallen asleep with his cheek on the lab table. Tony made the executive decision to carry him to bed, rather than have to listen to Peter complaining about how sore his neck was tomorrow. When they got into the elevator, Peter went from completely dead to the world, to consciousness enough to stumble the rest of the way to his room.  Tony helped Peter maneuver his way onto his bed, and pulled the covers over him as he fell asleep again. “Buona notte, Peter.” he whispered, and shut the door behind him. Now that Peter was in bed, he didn’t particularly feel like going back down to the lab again. Maybe he’d actually read the thousands of emails forwarded to him. Might as well make Pepper proud. He grabbed a StarkPad and flopped onto the couch. He turned on the fireplace, and propped a pillow under his feet. There would be no reason to leave, and if it came to it, it would be a pretty okay place to sleep.  There were emails from the Board of Directors. There were emails from the President. There were emails from Pepper. A lot of emails from Pepper, actually. He trashed the unimportant ones, responded to pressing matters, and arranged meetings, all in the wee hours of the morning. It was the first time he’d felt like an actual business owner in a while. Take that, Pepper. You see, I can be productive on things that actually matter. Tony asked FRIDAY to put on some music. Something quiet, though, so he could relax and Peter could sleep. It ended up being Erik Satie, which surprised Tony. He never thought he’d like ambient piano music, but, there he was.  On the same point, however, he never thought he would be putting a teenager to bed, either. Guess it was a night of firsts all around. He glanced at the clock in the upper right hand corner of the tablet. 2:23. It was probably time to pack it up and hit the hay. He put the tablet on the coffee table, and moved the pillow from under his feet to under his head. He closed his eyes, and tried to let himself drift off. It was hard. Whenever one of his waking moments wasn’t being occupied by some sort of task, his thoughts would always circle around to the same horrible thoughts.  The first Snap.  The Snap that brought everyone back.  Seeing Peter again for the first time in five years.  His Snap.  Almost dying in front of the son he just got back.  Almost dying in front of his wife.  Almost not being able to make it home to his daughter.   Tony was able to push those thoughts aside, though. Unfortunately, Peter wasn’t as lucky. Tony woke up to the sound of FRIDAY’s voice, not even an hour later. It was at a much higher volume than normal, almost like FRIDAY was trying to shout at him.  “Boss! Boss! Please, wake up. Peter needs help.” FRIDAY said.  “Wha-” Tony rubbed his bleary eyes open.  “Peter needs help.” FRIDAY repeated. Tony shot up from the couch, and activated his watch gauntlet. It was definitely paranoid that he wore it all the time, but damn if it didn’t come in handy sometimes. He sprinted barefoot down the hallway, and fumbled to get the door handle open. He stormed in, gauntlet extended, and repulsor fully charged. There was nobody else in the room. Just Peter, curled up in a ball on the bed, and… was he shaking? Upon closer inspection, he definitely was. He was sweaty, and his fists were balled tightly around the sheets. It was a nightmare. Tony was sure of it. He’d done the exact same thing just one too many times before.  Tony pulled the gauntlet back into his watch face, and rushed over to the side of Peter’s bed. He placed a tentative hand on Peter’s shoulder, and squatted down so they were at the same eye level. Peter was breathing hard, and Tony could see the faint glisten of drying tear tracks on his cheeks. “Hey, Pete?” Tony asked softly, his voice thick with emotion. “You’ve gotta wake up. You’re safe, here, in the tower, not… wherever you are.” He brushed the damp curls out of Peter’s face. “Come on, buddy. You gotta get up.”  Peter was trembling even harder. He was whimpering. They were little keening sounds like an animal in pain. Tony tried to shake Peter gently. “Peter, come on. Get up, kid. You’ve gotta-” Tony shook him a little bit harder, trying to coax him out of his fitful sleep. He moved his hand in soothing circles on Peter’s back. “Get up. Come on, Peter get up-”  Peter woke up. He flew into a sitting position, and started to sob. He looked around blindly, and reached out, not expecting to touch anything. He groped for Tony’s arm, and as soon as he found it, held onto it like it was a lifeline. Peter’s eyes were wide open, but judging by the glassiness of them, Tony was sure he wasn’t really registering anything.  “Mister- Mr. Stark… Mr. Stark-” Peter panted, and tried to scoot closer. Tony pulled him the rest of the way and into a tight hug.  ‘Hey… I’ve got you. You’re here, with me, and you’re safe. You’re not hurt- nobody’s gonna hurt you. You’re okay, I’m okay, we’re safe. You’re in the Tower, it’s nighttime, and it’s 2023.”  Peter looked up at Tony, his eyes wide and wet. “I- I’m okay?” he asked carefully. “You’re not dead?” he flinched.  “It was just a dream.” Tony said soothingly.  “It didn’t feel like just a dream. It- it was so real.”  “You promise? You were…” Peter’s breathing got faster, harder. “No, no… no. You can’t- you can’t be here. You were dead, and just… you can’t.” Peter ran a hand through his hair and used it to pull his chin closer to his chest. Tony reached out for Peter’s other hand.  “I know, bambino. I know it feels real, but I promise, it’s not. Another promise? I’m here. I’m warm and alive and breathing.” Peter shifted himself to be able to look more at Tony’s face. He tentatively reached up and brushed the side of Tony’s cheek with his fingertips.  “You’re here?”  “I’m here.” Tony reassured.  “We- were on Titan.” Peter managed to get out between sobs. “I was gone- and then I came back… just in time…” he took a deep, shuddering breath. “Just in time to watch you die. You were gone, and I- nobody knew what to do. I didn’t know what to do.”  “It’s okay. I’m here, I’m safe, I’m alive. I’m here with you. Pepper and Morgan are safe. You’re safe. Thanos is gone. It’s- It’s all okay.” Tony pressed a small kiss into the crown of Peter’s head.  Tony shifted a bit, so he was fully sitting on the bed. Peter’s head shot up, his eyes wide and pleading. ‘No! Please- please don’t leave me. Not again.”  “I’m not leaving. Just getting a bit more comfortable. My old man body wouldn’t last much longer with only one cheek on the mattress.” Tony shushed, and managed to get a small laugh from Peter.  “You are kinda old.” Peter mumbled.  “So you must be feeling a bit better.”  “Better now that you’re here.” Peter said sheepishly, and untangled himself from his position against Tony’s chest. “FRIDAY? Lights to thirty percent.” The room was filled with a dim light. Tony could see the dark bags under Peter’s eyes.  “Have you been sleeping? I mean- is this a common occurrence? The whole nightmare thing?” Tony asked.  “Uh… kinda. Kinda sleeping, but it’s hard. After… everything. I get these dreams a lot, but there not usually this bad.”  “Me too.” They sat in a comfortable silence for a minute. “Do you want to…” Tony continued. “I don’t know, come sit with me? Before you woke me up, I was just answering emails. You can come sit on the couch with me, and I’ll get you some hot chocolate or something, and you can watch your dumb show.”  “Catching up on five years of Brooklyn Nine-Nine that I’ve missed is not dumb.”  “If you insist. Are you coming?” Tony got up, and offered a hand to Peter to help him off the bed. Peter took it gratefully, and followed Tony down to the kitchen.

#irondad #irondad and spiderson #irondad bingo #tw: nightmares #nightmares #irondad angst #irondad whump #irondad fic #irondad fanfiction #my fic #my fanfiction #irondad fanfic #endgame #morgan stark

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meshkol · 6 years

Text

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

@100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

@itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

@BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

@they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

@snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

@kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

@MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

@shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

@queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

@gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

@truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

@i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

@iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

@truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

@queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

@OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

@OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

@Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

@ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

@xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

@highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

@its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

@TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

@catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

@xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

@bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

@one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

@mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

@its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

@Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

@bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

@catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

@Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!

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diningpageantry · 5 years

Text

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43151156

Chapter 3/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1553

Chapter Summary: Baz takes Simon's shitpost text a step further, and the outcome ends up spreading a few rumors.

SIMON

bi-sammy: sammy would still fuck huxley if he looked like the fish from shape of water

I grin smugly at my screen, sitting in a dark room with nothing shining but my mobile. The shutters stay shut, and the light from the bottom of the doorway barely filters into the room. It’s just me, this scratchy blanket, and Baz, somewhere else in England on another screen. I absolutely adore that.

gaystrell: why would you say something so controversial yet so brave.jpg

Sometimes, I catch myself smiling. Other times, I elect to ignore how real it feels. It’s weird, given that it feels like I’m just chatting with someone who I see everyday. The casualness of this reminds me of texting Penny in the afternoon on a Thursday.

Except, given the current time, it could be interpreted as more intimate than that of a friend’s text.

8am on a Saturday is usually a time reserved for comfort. For staying warm with someone you care about. Instead, I’m just messaging Baz.

bi-sammy: because im right

bi-sammy: hear me out here ive got a brilliant idea

gaystrell: whoever taught you the definition of a brilliant idea was clearly misleading you

bi-sammy: dont be an arse until youve heard it

bi-sammy: wanker

gaystrell: you’re truly proving your point

bi-sammy: ANYWAY

bi-sammy: shape of water au

bi-sammy: thats all

gaystrell: i’m appalled.

gaystrell: hold on.

I don’t think much of it. Occasionally, he disappears for an hour to two. I don’t bother asking, assuming it’s none of my business, but I do tend to worry a bit. I hope he’s alright.

After clicking off my phone, my head settles against my pillow as my eyes fall shut.

There’s something about this. There’s something about him. It’s a bit hard to pinpoint what it is, but the overwhelming feeling of comfort I have in the notifications I get from him just answering my bullshit is incredibly welcomed. He’s semisweet. I don’t know why I didn’t see it earlier, but he’s a fantastically bitter person.

My head slowly turns over, eyes opening and straining in the darkness.

I hate my empty room.

I hate the absence of comfort--I hate the plainness of these walls.

I want to say I hate my foster dad, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to say that. Not because the system will take me again and throw me back (even though I could have left a year back, if I was still in it). Instead, I feel like I shouldn’t hate him. Theoretically, I should be thankful for what I have. I’m not in a boy’s home, and I haven’t been since I was 11, but the remnants remain. The fights don’t go away, and neither do the weeks of starvation.

Still, I sort of despise living here under Davy.

That’s what he makes me call him. His name. His nickname. Not dad; of course not dad. He’s had me in his care for roughly six years, but he’s still Davy to me.

Shitty fucking Davy, with his strict curfews and practically using me as a housemaid because he’s too cheap to care for himself.

Shitty fucking Davy, not letting me add anything to my room because the day I turn 18, I’m out of here until his next kid (and cheque, apparently) come in. Told me I’d wreck the walls and ruin his furniture if I did put anything on it, too.

So that’s what I’ve got. Blank walls, blank furniture, blank everything. It’s like a jail cell for a bedroom, and everything I’ve got to show for myself is in a backpack and two dresser drawers/

But, at least, I own my mobile.

Every summer job, mixed with odds and ends shit and whatever I can do for my bill. It’s all mine, and Davy can’t fucking touch it.

Maybe that’s why, when I feel it buzz against my chest, it makes me feel more alive. It’s a reminder of all that work just to be able to talk to someone freely.

Arguably, the best feeling in the goddamn world.

I grab it and flip it over. It’s just an email about uni.

Fuck.

I end up scrolling through tumblr for a little while, doing nothing but liking and reblogging a thing here or there. It takes a little while before a little drop down falls from the top of my screen.

gaystrell: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r7Wkwj7MSFk0--DgquHGhYVBbqneEYq0J01t0uMRmxA/edit?usp=sharing

gaystrell: feel the need to apologize before you click the link, but then again, you asked for this hell

When I click on it, it pulls up a doc titled just “crackfic”, and I’m floored with the first sentence alone.

“Fuck my fish ass harder, daddy.”

My hand flies up, covering my mouth as I practically wheeze as quietly as possible. A few paragraphs in and I’m nearly crying into my palm, muffling my laughter as I read through pages upon pages of the most ridiculous fic I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.

I check the word count out of pure curiosity, and it somehow makes me laugh harder.

bi-sammy: holy fucking shit

bi-sammy: i swear to god if you don’t post that i will

gaystrell: already in the process of making the archive post

gaystrell: i seriously believe you underestimate my sincere ability to be the biggest dick on the street

bi-sammy: i dont know whether or not u meant that as ur literal dick or the big dick energy in making that a post but id probably agree with you in both

bi-sammy: tag me in the post pls i want to be the first to reblog it

gaystrell: you’re a ridiculous, sad, little man

gaystrell: of course i’ll tag you

Within minutes, it’s uploaded with the absolute worst slew of Archive tags attached to it, and as soon as he tags me in his post, I tap the notification.

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Word Count: 3,192

Summary: Fish!Huxley and Sam get it on Shape of Water style

@bi-sammy this is your fault (you're welcome)

I immediately slam like and pull up reblog, rapidly typing out my response before posting.

absolute madman. cant believe youve done this. i trust you with my entire life.

As usual, he's quick to reblog back.

anything for the absolute pain in my life x

Smiling shamelessly, I ride on the moment's high as our conversation stays out in the world. I quite enjoy this version of his softness. The public, taunting replies to mine. In all this time of following him, I can't really recall him ever being this friendly with anyone but me.

Makes me feel special. Maybe too much so.

BAZ

The jarring shock of the seemingly endless notifications rattles me momentarily speechless.

It isn't even 15 minutes after I'd replied to Snow and there's already a few people reblogging it with comments about him and I. A quick “i ship y'all’ to “powermove of the century”. Each make me flush deeper as the replies flood in.

If I were to be practical, I'm aware that I shouldn't be so flustered over the concept of us being a couple. It's most likely my overactive, sad, lonely imagination, but the idea of being loved just makes me blush. Especially since it's someone who doesn't seem to absolutely loathe me.

gaystrell: are you reading these?

bi-sammy: the what?

bi-sammy: i have. nothing to read. i cant read.

gaystrell: use your two remaining brain cells look at the notes for the crackfic

bi-sammy: holy shit

bi-sammy: im cackling

A notification pops up, making me snort this time. I pull up the post and send it off to him without a second thought.

gaystrell: sent a post

gaystrell: “sounds like something huxley would do for sam”

bi-sammy: stop im gonna piss myself shits too fucking funny

I pull it back up, scrolling down to reblog and adding a quick reply that, in all honesty, I should have thought out more. Secretly, part of me is glad that I sent it.

huxley wishes he was this smooth ;)

Within seconds, replies flood in from everywhere. From jokes about Snow and I possibly dating to the concept of Huxley writing (purposefully) shitty homoerotica about himself as a fishman. I quite like the conversation about the latter, while the former makes my chest knot in ways inexplicable.

Going through the notes makes me smile, even if it's mildly embarrassing. The amount of times I've seen the eyes emoji used is definitely excessive, but still somewhat welcomed.

Even my archive has a few comments already, although more based around the fic itself. More ironically, though, is the one person who probably took it seriously and just commented, “Nice fic!” I love the abundance of shameless appreciation for obscure fanfiction in the depths of this community.

Snow's messages roll down my mobile screen as I'm checking the comments, continuously replacing the previous message for the top slot.

bi-sammy: mate

bi-sammy: i love you

bi-sammy: also every time you reblog something of mine i get like 5 followers

bi-sammy: if you mention me i get 10

bi-sammy: youre???????????? a god????????

bi-sammy: can i marry you????????????

I slowly close my laptop, eyes on my phone with an absolutely gleeful grin.

gaystrell: when and where?

#carry on #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #mine #it's a handheld disaster #snowbaz #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm-pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #baz pitch #simon #baz

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priidewrought · 5 years

Text

hi there loves ! my name’s jaz, i’m twenty-two, & i’m super excited to bring to life these 2 total messes – elias durand and heath heartfield. literally polar opposites, i always do this to myself smh. if you wanna’ plot with either of these 2 pls feel free to hit me up or like this post & i can come to you, i’m super thrilled to get into it and develop them so throw each and every one of ur ideas right @ me.

ELIAS DURAND. thirty-two, noctis circle witch, #sleepuntil11club !

TRIGGER WARNINGS: captivity, torture mention, death.

meet elias! the (current) eldest of the durand clan who has never given off the impression once in his life. a laidback dude with a way of looking at the world that almost makes you jealous, elias is warm, patient, and forgiving (and makes a mean vegan chocolate fudge cake).

he’s definitely considered the heart by most people who know him. he follows it, he listens to it, he nurtures it. this makes him pretty impulsive too, and he doesn’t care to spend time on anything that makes him or those that he loves unhappy.

elias was raised by two very devout dark witches, and has an appreciation for his craft that might not be at first evident. he owns a small, rooftop garden in the city where he raises each and every animal for sacrifice by hand. he believes in giving them fulfilling lives to imbue them with even more power, and this sort of belief echoes in everything he does. he’s a vegan, he avoids pollution by walking wherever he goes, and he’s likes to live as zero waste as possible. whilst you might think he has the mindset of a light witch, elias firmly believes his actions help him be a much more effective dark witch.

his grandfather had been an important figure in elias’ life. having been subject to intense persecution for nearly every part of his being, his grandfather instilled in elias to not be afraid of death, but to welcome it like an old friend. to live life without consequence and to love freely. that has been elias’ mantra for as long as he’s lived, his grandfather’s words ringing true in his ears more often than he even realises.

he has an immense wanderlust bug. he started travelling as soon as he left high school at age eighteen, not wanting to attend college and condemn himself to more years of education. through this he learned the dark magic ways of plenty of other circles out there in the world, fascinated by the small differences that made big impacts. he’s a lover of culture and travel, and it’s always been hard to keep this dreamer held down.

being such a beacon of positivity and adventure, however, has not protected elias from harm. on his travels when he was 25 years old, elias was unexpectedly caught by witch hunters, who had first descended upon him simply for the colour of his skin, then relished in the fact he wasn’t human either. he was caught, subject to brutal conditions, transported from place to place as the hunters sought someone who would pay them greatly for the blood of a witch. the details of his escape to this day are still fuzzy and vague in his mind, but there’s said to be a boiling crater somewhere in the south of france, forever etched with the blood of far too many men to count. he doesn’t speak about it in detail to many, he says he doesn’t like to dwell on the negative, but he isn’t sure he’s even able to discuss it.

he works at the local dispensary & really loves his job because he gets to make peoples lives better and take away their pain.

he LOVES his family more than anything in the world. even on their off days, elias loves them to bits and is faultlessly loyal.

HEATH HEARTFIELD. twenty-five, hunter, dumb bitch.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: physical abuse.

heath! what is there to say about heath! massive asshole, is the first thing. a weathered hunter despite being just twenty five, heath is no sweetheart, having little patience for anyone or anything besides his job. raised by a monster to become something much worse, he’s a pretty nasty piece of work.

whilst heath was growing up and learning the ways of hunting, his father would constantly pit him against his twin sister, petra. whilst siblings should usually unite and stand together against their common enemy, heath chose to take a much darker path, falling victim to his father’s brainwashing, seeing his twin as his enemy. his arrogance and his pride laid the path for a horrible world view. heath always had to win. he always had to be right. he always had to be the strongest.

his father had never laid a hand on him until he was eighteen years of age, when his sister had finally surpassed him, and his father saw him as truly weak for the first time ever. whatever brotherly love heath had managed to retain for his sister was gone. it was beaten out of him over a brutal 6 hour session and he was never quite the same. his main focus from that point on was survival, by any means necessary. hunting for him isn’t a job, it’s a way of survival. he survives by pleasing his father, and his father is pleased only if the blood of non-humans paints heath’s skin.

despite hunting being a large part of his life, heath also has a degree in computer science, done at a university in another state as part of a much larger, undercover mission for his father. even his own accomplishments, things he should be wildly proud of, were pushed to the side.

he doesn’t have an actual job, to most he says he’s unemployed or working random bar jobs and he’s too caustic for people to probe any further, instead he’s always on call to his father.

despite elias being the one who works at the dispensary, heath’s the stoner. he’s unable to sleep without a joint every night and it’s one of the few things he allows himself to keep from his family. he often finds his mind racing, and for him the drug slows him down just enough to allow him to get about five hours of much needed rest.

when it comes to love and friendships, heath isn’t entirely impenetrable, he’s just insanely unlikable, and this tends to turn people away. however, people that have been in heath’s life for a long time are treated to an ever so slightly different side of him. they gain glimpses of the boy who once loved to skateboard, who once painted strange rocks he found on the street and hid them beneath the floorboards of the family home, the boy who has a penchant for sweet things and the smell of lavender. there are many things about heath that make him human, they’ve just been expertly hidden.

#nightsbound:intro #❛ · ˚ . — shrek is a modern masterpiece. ⁽ 𝒗𝒊. ooc. ⁾#im nervous lmao !

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girlbookwrm · 6 years

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i can’t believe i’m doing this

@jhscdood listen i got No Time to write the fics for this right now, but have some Fellowship of the Pod People (but not like that) Headcanons.

@ all of the rest of you, please for Eru’s sake help yourselves: literally nothing would make me happier than to have someone else write this shit so i could read it like the lazy asshole i am.

None of this will make a DAMN LICK OF SENSE if you aren’t familiar with the Not Your Mama’s ABO Clownfish AU that @silentwalrus1 created with @skellerbvvt and @galwednesday in the Magnificently Weird MCU Stucky Gem Scents & Sensibility

shit this got hella long don’t look at me but please all feel free to correct/expand/modify because I just whipped these off to decompress after a long day

The Númenóreans are responsible for all that “reef” “pod” and assorted “fishy” terminology, so while “pod” “reef” etc may be the accepted academic names, they’re often replaced with local variants and colloquialisms. The Númenóreans picked this linguistic quirk up from the sea-obsessed Noldor elves, so it’s sometimes used in Rivendell and Lothlorien too.

(The Sindar elves fucking hate that)

(Sindar use bee euphemisms instead. It’s all “hives” and “skeps” etc etc etc. Try to tell me Thranduil isn’t a Queen Bee. I FUCKIN DARE U. The wine is all honey mead. Hex honeycomb aesthetic for the win. Even the dungeons.)

(FYI Dwarves ALSO have a Hexagonal Aesthetic and that just Really Gets Thranduil’s Goat.)

everyone’s got their own local names for alphas and omegas too because seriously who fucking came up with that, i bet there’s a whole appendix at the end of the red book about terminology and shit

(Now I’m having meta thoughts about linguistics and there being a clownfish!Tolkien to go with the clownfish!Middle Earth. And now I’m thinking about the Inklings being a pod and if i follow THAT rabbit hole any further I’ll fu cki ng AS C E N DHJKfghjk.)

Anyway

Men smell gross. Everyone else is agreed upon this. Unflattering comparisons to badgers and weasels have been made.

This makes “MANFLESH” 12000% more hilarious ur welcome

it’s funny cuz Men are big into perfumes. Incense! Herb Sachets! Oils and tinctures! Have you ever seen a olde tyme perfumers’ box? That kinda shit. Everyone has their Signature Smell.

but elves especially are like you still smell like man stop trying to hide it.

The Dúnedain embrace The Musk. (some have fully weaponized it)

this is very important: Aragorn Smells Amazing. (to be clear, still very Man Smelling, but awesome. first time he goes all I AM UR KING everyone in the throne room goes a little glassy eyed.)

Minas Tirith, being old, is very Old Numenorean Oceanic Aesthetic. Give me all that white stone carved to look like coral and driftwood holy shit YES.

WHITE! TREE!! GARDEN!!!

ATHELAS!!!! SCENTED!!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!! (pairs well with lemon and other citrus smells.)

veering away from Gondor now

The Rohirrim stick with horse metaphors because of course they fucking do. Also, since they’re more nomadic, the entire concept of a “reef” as in a physical structure is kind of ??????? to them. So. “Reefs” = “herds” and “pods” = “bands.”

Fresh Hay is considered to be Peak Homely Smell in Edoras. Tapestries! Only The Softest and Nicest and Most Beautifully Tooled leather! leather smells!

OH SHIT GIVE ME ALPHA-FOR-LIFE-EOWYN MEETING FOREVER!OMEGA FARAMIR *HEAVY BREATHING*

(oh shit while we’re in the neighborhood, Dúnedain Rangers tend to be solitary As, which spooks the natives like whoa, but the Ithilien Rangers are generally O, and their waterfall hideout is totes a big ole reef.)

hang on i forgot about elves

Listen, I’m not super into elves myself but I’m imagining that they are perpetually switching back and forth between A and O depending on the day — nay, the HOUR — and the extremes between A and O are much less extreme for them than other races.

Every other race finds this super weird and disturbing.

Legolas is like “hm this forest is making me feel very O.” And Aragorn and Gimli are just like ‘what’ and then suddenly Leggy smells very O too and Aragorn and Gimli are like ‘WHAT’

Feänor is the exception. He turned the dial all the way to A and broke the goddamn knob off.

Galadriel can go from Maximum Softe O to Roid Rage A in .0004 seconds. “iiiinstead of a dark lord yyYYOU WOULD HAVE A QUEEEEEEN!!!1!” and the Hobbits are literally bowled over.

Elves in general smell woody but also very ocean-y i think? Have you ever stood in a pine forest by the ocean, where you get those light, clean wood and cedar and pine smells all shot through with sea breeze? Like That.

But elves are more into visual/audio. Soft singing. Leaves moving in the breeze. The whisper of pages in a library.

and the light. Elves are lighting wizards, they are all about that gentle starglow.

(I’m also having thoughts about the Lothlorien Elves embracing that A-ish urge to be Up High. A holdover from Galadriel’s time with the feanoreans? I'm not as up on silm lore as I should be)

but let’s get back to my happy place:

THE MUTHAFUCKIN SHIIIIIIIIRE

Hobbits really embrace dat sweet sweet O lifestyle. good food and warm hearths. throw blankets and pillows. hugging and cuddle puddles and playing footsie. gardens. Gardens. G A R D E N S.

“Going A” is done as rarely as possible. the transition takes about a month and Hobbits who are “going A” tend to call in sick like it’s some unsightly thing.

Tooks have an unusually high rate of going A. Of course they do.

Bilbo has never gone A. Not! Once!

Neither has Frodo.

Sam did, after the breaking of the Fellowship. Merry and Pippin did, in Fangorn, when they grew six inches. The three of them all stayed A after that, for the most part. YES EVEN SAMWISE. it was v scandalous.

Hobbit “reefs” are called “warrens” (unless ur rich, then they’re Smials and they’re Only For Family) and their “pods” are “nests.” “Nesting” is a whole Thing.

Hobbits! Smell! Like! Baked! Goods! Not sweet but like… warm. Humans sometimes turn their noses up and call it a “yeasty” or “beery” smell but it’s usually much more a rising-bread smell. Pipeweed smoke and sweet florals make a nice contrast to the perpetual bakery window smell.

Hobbits are very mouth/taste/chew oriented. Mouthfeel is a Big Deal. Recipe Books are Heirlooms. Courting is frequently Food/Drink Oriented.

Rosie Cotton brews the finest ale in all the land and she did that for the express purpose of seducing Samwise Gamgee

He Did Not Realize.

Courting that is not food/drink oriented is Flower/Plant oriented.

Sam Gamgee became the finest gardener in all the land in the desperate hope of wooing Mr. Frodo.

He Did Not Realize.

Everyone Else Realized. Merry and Pippin especially considered it Peak Comedy.

(they eventually worked it out.)

last but not least:

there’s just no way around it. Dwarves smell like dirt. nice dirt tho! Petrichor and stone with hints of copper and metals. Smoke smells. Rich spice smells. Eau de forge is considered a particularly desirable perfume. Dwarves don’t particularly notice smell though (for reasons that will become apparent) when it comes to Softe Things they’re much more about dem sweet sweet sparklies, and fur, and being super fucking tactile.

Dwarves are SUPER into haircare, like, every night the Company of Thorin makes a braid circle and exchanges hair beads.

(elves are also super into hair care. this too really Gets Tharanduil’s Goat)

Dwarf social structure is like… hobbits in reverse. They tend to default to A status, hence their general rowdiness but with strict codes of conduct to help manage conflict. They’re just these huge roving groups of A’s just rough-and-tumbling around their one O. dogpiles are peak pod bonding. aaaaand the alpha reek kind of tends to make them all a little noseblind.

Poor Bilbo.

Lucky, Lucky Bilbo.

But also poor, poor Bilbo.

Most dwarf Royals go O, but Thorin hadn’t been O since he was 24 and got chased out of Erebor by that pesky dragon.

Dwarf “reefs” and “pods” have their own terms in Khuzdul that do not translate well but have to do with crystal growth. Rough translations are “lattices” and “cells” (Hence the hexagon aesthetic)

Wizards Have No Designation. They Smell Like Gunpowder and Lightning. It Is Very Disturbing For Everyone Around Them.

Give me EveryoneLives!au Hobbit stuff. Bilbo trying to homely up the lonely mountain! Thorin going O and chilling the fuck out as a result!

Give me fellowship!pod!! Aragorn is the diplomat! Pippin is the wild child! Gimli is the Adventurer! Frodo is the peacekeeper! Boromir is the den mother!

How Much More Heartrending is the Breaking of the Fellowship if the fellowship was a pod????

and then you’ve got the fractured podlings: Merry and Pippin bonding hard with their new Rohan and Gondor stress-pods. Sam going A to protect Frodo from Gollum while Frodo tries to adopt this weird frog into their pod. The Three Hunters as Nick, Nora and Nelson (Gimli is Nick, Leggy is Nora, Aragorn is Nelson.)

Give me post-war Legolas and Aragorn and Gimli (and Arwen too) breaking cultural boundaries and proving that yes! Interracial Pods Can Work! these differences are cultural, and cultures can be melded! nothing wrong with this! if half-elves exist and can have kids of their own, then elves and men are not separate species, and I’d bet a significant limb that the same is true of all the other races so

GIVE IT TO ME

ok i gotta stop now.

...

yeah there’s probably a star trek one of these coming too

kill me

(And hey jhscdood I’m not saying you have to come back at me with more lotr clownfish or ocean’s 11/Star Wars/M*A*S*H/Leverage/West Wing/whatever clownfish But I would certainly consider it a Fair Exchange if you did. MORE INSTITUTIONALIZED SOFTISM. MAXIMUM SOFT FISH FRIENDS.)

#clownfish tag #seriously don't look at me this got Severely Out Of Hand.

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five-hour-anxiety · 6 years

Text

depresssion vlog 😥😴👎💭🏳️ | The Theory Of Real Activity | thursday vlogs

Taglist: @zerogettie @spacevirgil@tree4life25@thebiggestnaturaldisaster @pailettehazel@jordandobbertin@thecityofthefireflies @the-fabulous-kimball@azuranightsong@virmillion @erlenmeyertrash @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @the-sanders-sides @punch-you-with-friendship@captaincantatrice@clovenpinetree @jughead-is-canonically-aroace@aplaceinthevoid@that-random-fandom-girl @zennyo

Word Count: 4431

Warnings: depression and talks of anxiety

Pairings: platonic prinxiety, platonic logicality, platonic analogical

Summary: Virgil is in the middle of a spiral and the back to back bad days are making it hard to function. He texts a few friends for help, and this is the result.

Designated Nerd: Virgil, it has been some time since I’ve heard from you. Are you feeling well?

Me: i mean, am i ever fine

Designated Nerd: Well that is indeed worrying. Is there anything I can do for you, or would you rather I contact our more… emotional friends? Do you need me to come visit?

Me: no, i dont want anyone over right now. this is gonna sound so stupid but,,, could u tell me what u do when ur upset

Designated Nerd: If it helps, of course. I tend to listen to stimulating music and take hot showers. Please try to brush your teeth sometime soon as well, as hygiene is something that we all tend to be lax with in these states.

Me: i should have expected advice like that

Designated Nerd: Is it not useful? I apologize.

Me: o no, its good. thx lo

Designated Nerd: Anytime Virgil. Do not hesitate to contact me if you need anything else.

***

Sir-Sing-A-Lot: hey panic at the everywhere, u still breathing

Me: wow didnt kno u cared that much

Sir-Sing-A-Lot: of course i care u ass how u doing

Me: i mean im not dead. thats a fucking victory dude can i get a hell yeah

Sir-Sing-A-Lot: hell fucking yeah bro im proud of u

Me: hey while ur here,,,, how do u deal with ur bad days.

Sir-Sing-A-Lot: poorly

Me: damn dude

Sir-Sing-A-Lot: yeah well thats life but i also light candles and fucking moisturize. unlike u u heathen

Me: thanks u fucking prick

Sir-Sing-A-Lot: hate u too u asshole c u this weekend~

***

Pat-Dad: hey kiddo!! haven’t heard a peep outta you lately, just wanna make sure you’re still okay!!

Me: im not okay, actually. but im glad u texted bc i have a q for u

Pat-Dad: anything for you kiddo, tell me how i can help!! :)

Me: wat do u do on bad days. like, how do u deal with the shitty emotions

Pat-Dad: language kiddo.

Me: hellcrab.png

Pat-Dad: i dont have the profanity manatee on me so just pretend i sent that. anyway! i like to watch a bunch of funny shows and sit around in my favorite clothes! gotta feel good somehow!! and like, a lot of pillows are involved.

Me: is this permission to turn my living room into a pillow fort

Pat-Dad: absolutely!!! but make sure you eat something today kiddo,,, making food is gonna be better than takeout btw. Feels good to have made something, trick the brian into enjoying the food more.

Me: brian

Pat-Dad: *brain, oh hush up

Me: thanks 4 the help. <3 u

Pat-Dad: anytime kiddo!!!! :) <3 love you more!!!!!

***

“Welcome back to the Theory of Real Activity -- today’s vlog: not what you all signed up for.” Virgil sighed, running a hand through his hair. “As I’m sure a lot of you have noticed, or at least the twitter crew has, I haven’t been as active on the channel lately. And I’m sorry about that, but I think I’m ready to talk about why now.

“As many of you know, I have depression and anxiety. No way around it, there’s the truth. Often, these diseases prevent me from functioning like a healthy person would. That’s what’s been happening to me for the last few months. I’ve had a hard time getting up and dragging myself anywhere, much less making new content for all of you. Talking to friends via text is really hard too, so Twitter is something I can’t deal with either.

“And I know a lot of you out there are the same way -- heck, when I do use Twitter and the likes, I see messages like that all the time. And I’m happy I’m able to help you all through those days when I can. But I can’t always be around to make stuff like that, so today I’m gonna talk you guys through helping yourselves when the days get bad and the voices get loud, okay?

“But don’t let the start of this video fool you -- this isn’t a ‘oh we’re all gonna be okay if we just believe!’ kinda thing. Because there’s a lot of those. Don’t get me wrong, those are all wonderful messages and I really appreciate them, but I don’t think we need another one right now. What’s the point in trying to be motivated when the energy just isn’t there? I don’t know about any of you, but I almost feel worse when I watch those because I know whoever is on the other side of the screen wants me to work for happiness and I just… can’t. I can’t do it when I’m that low. So, no, this is not one of those videos.

“This is something completely different, I really hope it clicks with a few of you.”

The camera switches out of selfie mode to reveal a table full of shopping bags. Virgil laughs off-screen and there’s the sound of papers shuffling.

“Ladies, Gents, and everyone beyond the binary welcome to ‘How to Kinda Cope with Shit Brains’, starring yours truly. Let’s begin, shall we?”

***

“Logan, you didn’t tell me you were uploading a video today! What’s this one about?” Patton squealed, clicking on the notification. Logan peered over his shoulder, trying to make out the display behind layers of smudges and a few cracks.

“I- I did not upload a video today as Thursdays are typically reserved for anything Virgil wishes to post. That’s why there have not been any midweek videos recently.” Logan pulled out his own phone, giving up on Patton’s, and quickly unlocked the screen. “There is no one else with access to the account, so who- oh never mind. That is clearly something of Virgil’s creation.”

“My goodness, he sure loves emojis, huh?” Patton giggled, reaching into his pockets. Logan groaned something like ‘you have no idea’ and pulled out a screen cloth for Patton. The younger man took it and quickly cleaned off his screen before pulling out his earbuds

“Do you wanna watch it together?” He asked, dangling them in front of Logan. Logan stared at him, grimacing.

“Do you know how unsanitary sharing earphones is, Patton? I have a split connector in my bag, allow me to retrieve it and we shall view it together.”

***

“So, I have compiled a list of things my friends do when they’re having bad days, as well as a few activities of my own, and we’re gonna test them. I’ll take note of how I feel before I start, do the activities, and then I’ll rate them by how I feel afterward. And if that sounds complicated, it is! Kinda. Logan says it’s the proper way to test things, by having a starting point and an end point, so go ask him? I don’t know, he’s always talking about control groups and I don’t know about any of you but I don’t want to make myself have bad days back to back just so I can test a bunch of things ‘fairly’.

“Anyway, first up: Roman’s list. He- he actually didn’t have much to say, just “moisturize bitch’ so I just pulled ideas from what he normally does on off-days. Sorry, Ro, but you brought this upon yourself.”

Virgil reaches into the bag marked “Bed, Bath, and Beyond” and fishes out a bottle of something pink, as well as a purple container of lotion and a green candle.

“I know for a fact Roman prefers grapefruit face wash, so that’s what we got here,” he shakes the pink bottle, “so we can gift this to him when we’re done here. And we have a bottle of lavender-scented lotion to go with it. I read somewhere that lavender helps with anxiety or something, but like,” he points at the camera, “it just smells good, and I am not ashamed to admit to that. Don’t read too much into this.

“I also bought a scented candle, because that’s the only other thing Roman offered advice-wise. I fact-checked this one, and apparently good scents are supposed to help you think more clearly? Or something. I don’t know, I read the article at four in the morning, there’s not much I can really remember about it. Four am Virgil is really bad at retaining information.”

The camera jostles as Virgil picks it up and walks into his bathroom. “Uh, just for like, the starting point? The best way to describe this type of anxiety is the buzzing and tensing of your muscles and the tightness in your chest. There’s nothing I want more than to dive under my bed sheets and sleep until tomorrow and try again later.

“But I’m going to do this, so wish me luck.” He mutters, turning the tap on and grabbing a washcloth. The screen cuts away to black as an upbeat nineties song plays, and the text on the screen reads ‘Roman’s results’.

“So,” Virgil starts, his face covered in white foam, “this stuff kinda burns? Roman, what the hell is wrong with you, you like this stuff? Ugh. Also, just so everyone knows, the smell of artificial grapefruit and lavender do not mix. Like separate, they are really good smells but just… don’t mix them together. It’s a really bad idea. We may have to do my list next so I can let the house air out for a while. As it is, I didn’t even try to light the candle, we do not need to add spearmint to this stink bomb.

“Beyond that? The face wash is definitely waking me up. I feel a little more ‘oh hey, I’m a person’ that I did before so, yeah. This wasn’t a total bust. And my skin is soft! I understand the appeal of moisturizing now! Roman, how dare you keep this a secret from me?” Virgil laughs, rubbing his hands together. “Holy shit I feel like a million bucks. I am keeping the lotion, you can take this demon face scrub.” Virgil reaches off screen and picks up the pink bottle, scanning the back panel of text.

“So overall, I’d say Roman’s tactics work. You just gotta like, make sure you get complimentary smells so you don’t stink yourself out of your house,” He says, still reading the bottle, “And you should definitely read the instructions on the bottles because this,” He holds up the pink bottle, “says to wash off after a few minutes, and it’s been ten. I’m gonna go get this off my face now.”

***

“Babe, you seriously didn’t read the instructions?” Roman howled, throwing his head back into the couch. He could hear Virgil scoff from the kitchen.

“Excuse me, but I thought it was like one of those face masks you leave on for half an hour! How was I supposed to know!” He asked, walking back into the room and plopping down beside Roman. “They look the same when you put them on, and you have a few long-lasting ones that smell like grapefruit! I had no way of knowing!”

“You could’ve called, man. I would have helped you!” Roman lifted his arm, inviting Virgil to crawl under it. He took it and wrapped his arms around the taller man’s chest. “You bought face scrub, which is definitely not the same thing. Both are good though! Just, not that same.”

“Yeah, well, I know that now,” Virgil muttered, burying his head in Roman’s hoodie.

“We can do actual face masks after this if you want.” Roman offered, picking his phone back up. “Your pores could really benefit from one.”

“You’re a dick. Turn that thing off.”

“Love you too, bastard, but there’s no way in hell I’m turning this off.”

***

The camera cuts again, and this time Virgil is in his bedroom. The window is open, and the sound of passing cars is almost inaudible but still present. His peach walls are bathed in a warm glow of the setting sun, a light breeze pushing his bangs up every so often.

“Okay so, next up is Patton’s list. As per my own ‘rules’, I’m feeling mentally exhausted and ready to check the fuck out right now. But despite this, I’m actually… really excited for this one? It involves food, there’s no way this can go poorly.”

The video cuts to footage of Virgil screaming as food on the stove erupts into flame. The 1812 Overture is playing the background. Whatever was in the pan is no longer food, as the burnt sustenance is bubbling in an ominous manner. The oven mitt is no longer on Virgil’s hand and is instead in a smoky heap on the kitchen counter.

“No way this can go poorly” Virgil’s voice echoes as he runs off camera screaming. He returns with a fire extinguisher, the lens becoming jammed with foam just before the video cuts back to Virgil in his room eating Chinese takeout.

“Okay so. It turns out it can go poorly. Patton said that making sure you eat, like, actual food and not six servings of chocolate cake with a glass of cherry coke on the side is supposed to help with the depression thing but like. It definitely didn’t help with the anxiety. Something about the food you worked to make tasting better?

“So, I cheated and ordered take out. But hey! This stuff has got a bunch of veggies in it, so I think I won this round. Moving on,” Virgil puts the food down and leans down to grab something off the floor, “Patton also recommended watching some shows that I know I enjoy, so let’s do that next.” Virgil puts on the purple headphones he had grabbed and pulled his laptop onto his lap. He clicks off the light on his desk and plunges the room into darkness with only his computer light illuminating his face.

“We’re watching the entirety of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine Halloween episodes, so be prepared for a highlight reel of that while I stuff my face with rice.” He twirls his finger around in a ‘roll film’ motion and kicks his feet up on the desk.

The camera cuts to a black screen once more, the same upbeat music playing in the background. The text now read’s “Patton’s results”.

The next few minutes is a series of clips strung together, many of them consisting of Virgil mouthing the lines along with the characters, and screeching with laughter. The last one shows him crying into his takeout, mumbling about how much he loves the relationship between Jake and Amy. He had taken his feet down from the desk at some point, now curled into his chair and bundled in his hoodie almost entirely.

The video cuts away to a slightly more composed Virgil, who is now cuddling a pillow and scraping the bottom of the takeout box. His eye makeup had run down his face over the last few hours and he looked unnaturally pale in the weird lighting.

“Yeah that uh,” He coughs awkwardly, “that worked. Ten out of three Patton, way to go. Got my brain to shut up for like, I don’t know, two hours?” He takes a deep breath and puts the takeout container on the desk. “It’s late, I think I’m gonna just do Logan’s and I’s lists tomorrow.”

***

“Should I be concerned that he set the kitchen on fire and didn’t call anyone?” Patton whispered, pausing the video. “Why didn’t he call anyone? Did he get burned?”

“I do not think you speeding to his house would have done any good, Patton, as he got the fire out by himself. That being said,” Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, “he is not allowed to cook for game night. Ever. What was he even trying to make?”

“He can join me in the kitchen ban, then. The store-bought cookie club just gained a new member.”

“God help us if you ever cook together. I’d have to take out a loan for a new apartment. I already cannot pay my student loans, I fear the possibility of adding to my life debt.” Logan shuddered, reaching over to unpause the video.

***

“Okay, good morning internet. It’s buttcrack early outside, I don’t even think the sun is up yet? That’s good, actually, and I’ll get to why later.

“So, all that’s left is Logan and I’s lists, and to be honest? Logan may have already won the whole thing, looking at this on paper. He actually cares about like, not dying by germs or some shit.,I can guarantee his list will be practical. I gotta go set some stuff up for my list, so hang tight.” The screen cuts to a slightly more awake Virgil.

He grins and gives a tiny wave before tapping the screen to switch the camera and show a hammock.

“So, I’m next. I’m also gonna save Logan’s advice for the end of the video so you guys watch this whole thing. Give people an incentive for sticking around. Because I can see the stats on this, I know half of you like, exit the video halfway through. Stay for the whole thing, dammit, I need the ad money.” He laughs, gently putting the camera down. The screen shows a new sunrise, one full of soft purples and oranges. Above the sun and its halo are a few stars that have yet to go out for the day, barely visible behind the hazy clouds. Virgil picks the camera back up, the footage shaky.

The camera stills to a shot of Virgil’s legs, the hammock swaying gently in the breeze. A few frogs can be heard singing in the background and Virgil hums a few notes. His voice is low as he speaks, still rough from sleep.

“Again, to follow my own rules: I feel so awful I don’t even want to talk about it, guys. Sorry.” Virgil is quiet for a while longer, the occasional whispered lyric picked up by the microphone. Eventually, he speaks once more, a lighter tone to his voice.

“Sure, this looks peaceful, but if you could all hear what kind of music I’m listening to right now, you’d be calling my therapist. Hey, Paul, I apologize my bro, but wow are you not gonna like me the next time I’m in.

“So yeah, my list is just ‘get sun and get songs’. You Gucci fam, just stay out here until you either feel good or get cold. Probably gonna be the last one but, hey, you tried. Gold star. Bring a blanket if you wanna aim for the best possible outcome.”

The camera cuts again, this time looking down from what is assumed to be a porch. The sky is dark once more, and the only source of light is a small candle.

“Huh. What do you know, the candle works after all. Spearmint -- the poor man’s anti-anxiety. You know, I actually looked that up. Spearmint is supposed to be a good stress reliever and some kind of mood booster. The more you know, huh?”

***

“Virgil, what the hell does that mean?” Roman chuckled, rubbing Virgil’s arm.

“It means that when I’m panicking at work I just pop in a breath mint and BAM I am suddenly closer to reality than I was ten seconds ago.”

“Do I wanna know how you discovered that?”

“I had a hangry panic attack in high school and the only thing I had to eat in my bag were breath mints I was meaning to gift to you.”

“Oh, that’s pretty- hey.”

“You could still use some, man. Keep your nasty breath away from me.”

Roman just hummed, looking at Virgil from the corner of his eyes. He smiled softly, his eyes sad and concerned. Pulling him closer, he unpaused the video and listened as he continued to hold his friend.

***

“And last but certainly not least, is the list of the late, great Logan. He’s not dead. He’s just always late to dinner dates. Like a pretentious nerd, his excuses are ‘oh, I was studying’, ‘oh, I had an exam’, or ‘Patton set the kitchen on fire again, call 911’. What an ass.

“Anyway. This list, which doesn’t have a cool name because Logan is against emojis and stuff, just has like, five items on it. In order that is: brush your teeth, put on some clean clothes, wash your hair, put on some socks, and the last one is a surprise. Because it really took me off guard and I need you all to be as surprised as I was.

“And right now, I just feel apathetic. In case someone gets upset that I didn’t mention I felt going into this, I just feel apathetic.”

The video cuts away to Virgil’s bathroom once more, and the leftover mess from the other day can be seen in the sink.

“Uh. Just, just ignore that mess. You know what it’s from, I don’t feel bad about that. Anyway, teeth brushing. Let me just find the toothpaste…

“You know, I can’t remember if I bought toothpaste at the store. Of all the crap I bought, don’t think toothpaste made it into the bin. So, let’s just see if I still have any of the travel samples from the dentist.”

Virgil riffles through his cabinets, pulling out items such as combs, hair dye, bleach, and a bottle of pills. He hums for a second, before crouching down to look under the sink.

“I feel like, and I could be the only one who experiences this, I feel like anything that gets put under the sink will never see the light of day. So maybe I won’t be brushing my teeth today- wait. Wait! Oh gosh, thank you Jesus- there’s a- there is a bottle in the back there, but I can’t reach it. Outta my way, makeup kit, I got teeth to be cleaned!”

Virgil pops back into view, holding up a half used mini bottle of toothpaste. It’s the kid’s kind, that tastes like berries and bubblegum. He uncaps it and starts to squeeze it out onto his toothbrush buts stops short.

“Why the hell are there sparkles in this thing? That- isn’t that a, like, choking hazard or some shit? Okay, sorry Logan, teeth brushing is not happening in this video. I think you’d agree with me on this. When you get to this point in the video, feel free to add toothpaste to our shopping list.”

***

“Jokes on you, Virgil, I added it yesterday when I spent the night and had to use that monstrosity.”

“I use that stuff all the time, Logan, there’s nothing wrong with it! Look at me, I’m perfectly fine!”

“That’s… that’s a, uh, great point Patton. Explains a lot.”

***

“Okay, so next on the list was clean clothes. I’m doing that off camera, you nasties, so hang tight for a word from our sponsors.”

The screen is black, with white text reading “crofters plz sponsor us logan is desperate.”

Virgil reappears, in the same hoodie and shirt. He smirks, pointing at a pile of clothes on the floor.

“Ha, I own two of these hoodies and three of these shirts. I am a cartoon character, y’all will never see me in a different outfit. You can dream, but my job is to crush those dreams.” He makes a fist as he says this, laughing through his teeth as he tries to appear tough.

The camera cuts again, this time showing Virgil singing into a hairbrush while a towel is wrapped around his head. The scene doesn’t last long, as we are once again taken back to Virgil’s bedroom where he is set up with a laptop. This time he’s on his bed and the curtains are drawn.

“It said to wash your hair, and you can’t wash hair without serenading the monsters living behind the shower curtains we all feared when we were little. Just because we aren’t afraid of them doesn’t mean they aren’t real!

“Anyway, this is the last part of Logan’s list. It’s actually really sweet? Like, I am a grown ass man, and I am not ashamed to say I sobbed over this.” He continues, voice starting to tremor.

Virgil spins his laptop around to show a YouTube video that’s about half an hour long. The title reads, ‘the best of Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street’. Virgil sniffs real fast, raking a fist over his eyes.

“He uh, he knew these guys were my heroes growing up. And he knew it would cheer me up. Guess w-hat man,” Virgil sniffs again, “It- it worked like a fu-fucking charm. I uh, I’m actually feeling things after going through your list, so like. Nice work, I guess, I owe you dinner. Like, dinner at a restaurant, not a cooking dinner because I don’t want to poison you.

“Ahem. Anyway. That’s the best thing in this whole video, you win Logan. And that about wraps up the Thursday vlog. Thanks for listening everyone, here’s the obligatory ‘we’re gonna be okay’ message, because as corny as that is -- it’s true. Find yourself a Bert to go with your Ernie and it’ll be okay. Maybe throw in an Elmo or a Zoey if you wanna round out the group. And my metaphor is getting too complicated, so! Virgil out! See you this weekend for the next Theory of Real Activity -- Logan and I are joined by Patton this time and we get into wild shit this week, let me tell you.”

***

“Well, what are we still waiting around here for?” Patton asked, turning his phone off. He disconnected the earbuds, stuffing his haphazardly into his front pocket. Logan winced at the sight, and quickly but carefully wound his up into their case.

“I’ll text Virgil to make sure he knows to expect us. Patton, if you could text Roman?” Logan asks, standing up and smoothing out his shirt. Patton nods, already poking away at his phone.

Me: Greetings, Virgil. Patton and I are on our way over to your house if that is okay?

Virgil Jackson: cant tell you no, you practically live here

Me: Yes, well, that is true. Is there anything I should bring with us?

Virgil Jackson: would it be lame to say a hug

Me: Not at all. If there is anything this group is good for, it’s hugging and crying. The occasional yelling, but that could go either way.

Virgil Jackson: whatever nerd, get over here already

#sanders sides fic #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #prinxiety #logicality #analogical #ali writes #its another vlog fic sue me #i wanted to you all can fight me later #the theory of real activity

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8147 · 6 years

Text

reading hamlet for the first time (act 5: the finale)

masterlist

none of you told me it was going to be this painful . none of you.

a5s1

“Ophelia’s dead.” “Enter CLOWNS!”

Like im sure this has a different meaning in EMA but im gonna make fun of it because it’s fucking hilarious. (future (present? (now past once more (?))) antares coming back to say i did look at nfs and yeah theyre gravediggers)

“First Clown: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? Second Clown: The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.” damn not even just this one quote but these are some depressing clowns

hamlet and horatio!

okay there’s something about all of hamlet’s skull talk that makes me uneasy. like, not even the topic, just something in the words and how earnestly and (pardon my pun) gravely hamlet’s speaking about this. and it’s almost a mournful tune, too. it’s a huge difference from his “we’ll all be eaten by the same worms” speech to the point that it’s almost haunting.

“HAMLET: I will speak to this fellow.” C O N F R O N T

“HAMLET: I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.” (incomprehensible scribbling)

HAMLET, NOT IN ENGLAND: oh yeah lol he was sent to england huh u know why lmao

wait. did the. did the pirate situation get resolved. before act V.

I mean i think hamlet mentioned something about three years but the pirates are so fucking glossed over like what the fuck

“First Clown: 'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he.” HOLY SHIT ROAST THEM JFC

“HAMLET: Let me see. (Takes the skull)” THIS IS THE SKULL SCENE! I fucking KNEW it was bullshit that holding the skull was in the to be/not to be speech. I saw it being presented as such like once or twice while reading and I KNEW IT

hm okay so hamlet picks up this guys skull, of someone he used to know, and sure maybe i could ignore the “those lips i have kissed” but then he goes on to mention alexander the great and i mean come on

but jesus like i feel like im not doing justice to the stuff hamlet’s saying. just, the gravity of it all. Its kinda hitting home a bit hard bc like ive had a crippling fear of what happens after death and being forgotten etc since i was like in fourth grade and this is @ing that phobia

like, with that julius ceasar thing. “O that that earth which kept the world in awe / should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw,” it’s so strange. like, every fucking human who has lived, whether they be emperors, murderers, inventors, peasants, or philanthropists- as long as they weren’t blind, they’ve all looked at the same sky. like. It doesnt matter what the fuck you did or didn’t. It’s wild.

“First Priest: No more be done: We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.” hey i get that there are cultural taboos around suicide but like this guy’s a dick it isnt even clear if it was suicide, like, she was so fucking crazy she might not have even known she was, y’know, in a lake or w/e

laertes, dude, my guy. maybe jumping into a grave is cosmic foreshadowing for something you don’t want to happen to you. js.

“HAMLET: [Advancing] What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane. (Leaps into the grave)” hamlet is NOT one to be out-extra’d (posting-antares here to say, wait, ‘whose phrase of sorrow conjures the stars? is this my aesthetic-speeches-summon-ghosts theory? probably not, but i havent mentioned it for a while)

“LAERTES: The devil take thy soul! (Grappling with him)” IN A FUCKING GRAVE. THEY ARE FIGHTING. IN A GRAVE.

all because hamlet doesn’t want to be out-extra’d. my god.

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: This is mere madness: And thus awhile the fit will work on him; Anon, as patient as the female dove, When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.” Ah yes gertie just talk about the distraught and angry madman as if he isn’t there. that’ll diffuse the situation.

You know what? We still haven’t discussed the pirates.

a5s2

“HAMLET: So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other; You do remember all the circumstance?” If this isn’t gonna be about the pirates im gonna. scream.

“HAMLET: My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,-- O royal knavery!--an exact command, Larded with many several sorts of reasons Importing Denmark's health and England's too, With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off.” god, though. imagine that. being exiled to another country by the person who killed your father, only to find out that they were going to have you killed, anyways. that’s fucking terrifying. jesus christ.

Damn this idea that pretty handwriting is ~beneath~ nobles confuses me so fucking much. I got called haughty once just because my main handwriting is cursive. I mean, they were right, but their evidence was circumstantial at best.

“HAMLET: That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow'd.” Hamlet’s Revenge.

but also, what the fuck, dude. two wrongs dont make a right.

damn i kinda lost myself while reading but it really doesn’t sound like hamlet’s insane anymore. Like he’s… tempered himself. he doesn’t feel insane, just solemn.

“OSRIC: Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. HAMLET: I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly?” goddamn ROAST HIM HAMLET (also what a fucking mood)

Osric put on your fucking ha--

The wind is

The wind is northerly

“HAMLET: No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.” I remember someone saying that this is important

Okay here: “HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”

oh no

Osric just wear ur fucking hat u doof

“OSRIC: Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,--as 'twere,--I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter,-- HAMLET: I beseech you, remember-- (HAMLET moves him to put on his hat)” excuse me a WAGER

but alas all hamlet cares about is osric’s fucking hat

“HAMLET: What's his weapon? OSRIC: Rapier and dagger. HAMLET: That's two of his weapons: but, well.” hamlet u sarcastic little shit i love you

I mean so is horatio. I love him too.

This stuff with the competition is. not gonna end well. not at well.

“HAMLET: I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practise: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart: but it is no matter.”

hamlet no. listen to your heart or whatever. jesus christ don’t do it.

“HORATIO: Nay, good my lord,--” HAMLET LISTEN TO HORATIO

Ohhh hamlet

okay reading what laertes said, you know what? i’m giving laertes one last chance. please do not prove me a fool, laertes.

everything is giving me mad anxiety. e v e r y t h i n g.

claud’s speech is insanely sketchy

“KING CLAUDIUS: [Aside] It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.” One, so that’s why it was sketchy. Two, the POISONED CUP?

IT’S TOO LATE?

Gertie’s. Dead.

Shit, shit, shit

“LAERTES: [Aside] And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.” YES! SO PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!

“LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES.” Oh no oh no oh jeez eheu they’re hurting each other, shit, fuck,

“LAERTES: ...woodcock…”

“KING CLAUDIUS: She swounds to see them bleed. QUEEN GERTRUDE: No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,-- The drink, the drink! I am poison'd. (Dies)” one, i love how claud is desperatley trying to stick to the plan, its almost adorable in a childish sort of way. two, oh god. ohhh god. gertie.

Oh no.

this is the bloodbath. THIS IS THE BLOODBATH.

BODY COUNT: 1

“HAMLET: The point!--envenom'd too! Then, venom, to thy work. (Stabs KING CLAUDIUS)” ...

BODY COUNT: 2

wait and hamlet’s on death row, as with laertes. Oh no.

“LAERTES: He is justly served; It is a poison temper'd by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me. (Dies)’ oh my god already??? I haven’t even really accepted king claud’s death?? jesus christ??

My friend just sorta nudged me and asked if i was alright and i. I’m not. i’m in shock. goddamn. what?

BODY COUNT: 3

goodness thats three in like less than thirty seconds JESUS CHRIST

“HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.I am dead, Horatio.” that’s chilling. just, the poignancy. that’s so fucking spectral. i’m not okay.

“HORATIO: Never believe it: I am more an antique Roman than a Dane: Here's yet some liquor left.” No no no on no nononon NO NO oh my god are you going to-

“HAMLET: As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. … If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” hey i’m crying in study hall. i’m actually crying. what the fuck. I don’t cry unless i’m thinking about that one pair of 18th century shoes with the really good photo quality (transcribing-antares here. I fucking love those shoes. I’m looking at them right now and they’re so fucking beautiful. they look how velvet feels, which is odd, bc they're apparently silk. I don’t care they’re just so fucking lovely)

F O R T I N B R A S?

“HAMLET: O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.” I’ve identified my emotion. Dread. pure, unadulterated Dread.

for all of you that’ve listened to the penumbra podcast: do you remember the concierge, right before final resting place, saying “you do realize you can just like, leave, and everything will be hunky dory and you won’t have to deal with the emotional consequences this episode will bring you” because i’m seriously considering doing that right now.

“HAMLET: The rest is silence. (Dies)” shit. (posting-antares here to say that i forgot to do the body count but honestly im crying while formating because of this goddamn fucking 400 year old play)

“HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince…” oh god. horatio.

“Good night sweet prince…”

(yet again tis transcribing-antares here to say that im fucking sobbing right now, the shoes are no match for this, and ‘goodnight sweet prince’ is actually never going to leave my head.) (editing-antares here to say im fucking crying again god fucking damn it) (posting-antares back again saying that this fucking line. this line. my god.)

“HORATIO: What is it ye would see? If aught of woe or wonder, cease your search.” oh, horatio. god. that isn’t something said without tears staining your skin and a bitter tone hard-won, not that its possession is a victory.

oh my god. this can’t. no. this can’t end like this. What. no. people must have rioted. No. no!!

i typically hate it but i would GLADLY accept a deus ex machina right about now!!

okay my friend just took my phone away from me and shut it off because i kept on trying to scroll past the end

jesus christ

okay so i’m not going to be okay for like, several eternities, so im going to play the sims until i. until i die, probably. my god.

masterlist

#shush antares #antares reads hamlet #thE PIRATES WERE NEVER ADDRESSED #also im crying but im STILL ANGRY #mostly in shock tho

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dfroza · 3 years

Text

grace doesn’t give us what we deserve.

grace is the purest gift from our Creator that offers His Life and eternal Breath when we “believe…” in the heart in the True illumination of the Son and speak it from a body of earth. for just as God created the universe by speaking living words, we hold the power of rebirth of the heart (by the Spirit) in our words of faith spoken through grace. and this is our eternal hope of seeing all things reborn at some point.

Paul illuminates this in his writing with Today’s reading of the Scriptures of the New Testament Letter of Romans in the way those who share God’s message become His living “Voice” on earth:

My beloved brothers and sisters, the passionate desire of my heart and constant prayer to God is for my fellow Israelites to experience salvation. For I know that although they are deeply devoted to God, they are unenlightened. And since they’ve ignored the righteousness God gives, wanting instead to be acceptable to God because of their own works, they’ve refused to submit to God’s faith-righteousness. For Christ is the end of the law. And because of him, God has transferred his perfect righteousness to all who believe.

Moses wrote long ago about the need to obey every part of the law in order to be declared right with God:

“The one who obeys these things must always live by them.”

But we receive the faith-righteousness that speaks an entirely different message:

“Don’t for a moment think you need to climb into the heavens to find the Messiah and bring him down, or to descend into the underworld to bring him up from the dead.”

But the faith-righteousness we receive speaks to us in these words of Moses:

“God’s living message is very close to you, as close as your own heart beating in your chest and as near as the tongue in your mouth.”

And what is God’s “living message”? It is the revelation of faith for salvation, which is the message that we preach. For if you publicly declare with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will experience salvation. The heart that believes in him receives the gift of the righteousness of God—and then the mouth confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scriptures encourage us with these words:

“Everyone who believes in him will never be disappointed.”

So then faith eliminates the distinction between Jew and non-Jew, for he is the same Lord for all people. And he has enough treasures to lavish generously upon all who call on him. And it’s true:

“Everyone who calls on the Lord’s name

will experience new life.”

But how can people call on him for help if they’ve not yet believed? And how can they believe in one they’ve not yet heard of? And how can they hear the message of life if there is no one there to proclaim it? And how can the message be proclaimed if messengers have yet to be sent? That’s why the Scriptures say:

How welcome is the arrival

of those proclaiming the joyful news of peace

and of good things to come!

But not everyone welcomes the good news, as Isaiah said:

Lord, is there anyone who hears

and believes our message?

Faith, then, is birthed in a heart that responds to God’s anointed utterance of the Anointed One.

Can it be that Israel hasn’t heard the message? No, they have heard it, for:

The voice has been heard throughout the world,

and its message has gone to the ends of the earth!

So again I ask, didn’t Israel already understand that God’s message was for others as well as for themselves? Yes, they certainly did understand, for Moses was the first to state it:

“I will make you jealous of a people who are ‘nobodies.’

And I will use people with no understanding

to provoke you to anger.”

And Isaiah the fearless prophet dared to declare:

“Those who found me weren’t even seeking me.

I manifested myself before those

who weren’t even asking to know me!”

Yet regarding Israel Isaiah says:

“With love I have held out my hands day after day,

offering myself to this unbelieving

and stubborn people!”

The Letter of Romans, Chapter 10 (The Passion Translation)

and the closing line of chapter 10 in The Message:

Day after day after day,

I beckoned Israel with open arms,

And got nothing for my trouble

but cold shoulders and icy stares.

(verse 21)

to be reiterated by these lines of great significance from The Voice:

“The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the good news we have been called to preach to you). So if you believe deep in your heart that God raised Jesus from the pit of death and if you voice your allegiance by confessing the truth that “Jesus is Lord,” then you will be saved! Belief begins in the heart and leads to a life that’s right with God; confession departs from our lips and brings eternal salvation.

The Letter of Romans, Chapter 10:8-10 (The Voice)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 29th chapter of the book (scroll) of Isaiah that looks at humbling pride and a restoration that occurs as well through this to establish Justice:

O Ariel, woe to you Ariel, our Jerusalem,

where David set up his camp to stay.

Go ahead, go on with your fruitless festivals,

your calendar of events, year in and year out.

In the meantime, I will trouble Ariel to the point of mourning and crying.

She will be for me a fiery hearth.

I will surround you, enclose you, cut you off.

I will isolate you from aid or reprieve;

I will attack the city walls with towers and siege works.

That will humble you so low, you’ll speak from the earth itself.

And when you do, your voice will issue from the very dust where you lie;

Your voice will rise from the ground like the voice of a ghost,

like a soft whisper from the earth.

But in an instant your ruthless enemies, who seem too many to count,

will become as fluttering dust, as wind-driven chaff.

They will be blown away in the snap of a finger.

For the Eternal, Commander of heavenly armies, will visit you

with thunder and earthquake and great noise,

With raging wind and tempest and consuming fire.

And all those armies intent on destroying Ariel,

that great international coalition of Jerusalem’s enemies

Battering against the city of God, will disappear.

They’ll evaporate like a night’s dream in the light of day.

As when a starving person dreams of eating at a banquet and wakes hungry,

or a thirsty person drinking his fill in sleepy night visions

Finds himself still parched when the morning comes,

that’s how it will be for the horde attacking Mount Zion, His chosen place.

But it will take some time. Wait and wonder.

In the meantime, make yourselves unable to see or understand.

Make yourselves drunk and unsteady,

but not from wine or liquor.

For the Eternal One has poured you a cup of sleep—

deep, heavy sleep.

O prophets and seers, He has closed your eyes and covered your heads.

Everything God is disclosing to you will be like the words recorded in a book that is sealed. When it is given to one who is literate, he can’t read it because it is sealed. When it is given to one who is illiterate, he can’t read it because he doesn’t know how.

Eternal One: These people think they can draw near to Me by saying the right things,

by honoring Me with their lips, but their hearts are far away from Me.

Their worship of Me consists of man-made traditions learned by rote;

it is a meaningless sham.

Therefore, I will do something extraordinary with this people.

I will add wonder to wonders—

Shut down the wisdom of their wise

and hide what the discerning have figured out.

Oh, it’ll be bad for those of you who conceal your thoughts from the Eternal,

who do your deeds in the dark and say:

“Who sees us? Who knows what we are doing?”

My goodness, how you’ve turned things around!

You seem to think that the potter is equal to the clay;

Should the pot say about the potter, “He didn’t make me”?

Or does the thing formed say about the one who formed it,

“He doesn’t understand anything”?

Surely you know that in just a little while

the forests that clothe Lebanon will become rich fields

And the fields will be considered as valuable as the forests.

Then the deaf will hear the words read from a book,

and darkness and gloom will fall from the eyes of the blind.

A renewed sense of joy will come over the humble, thanks to the Eternal;

and joyous celebrations will break out among the poor, because of the Holy One of Israel.

For cruelty and mean-spiritedness will come to an end,

and those who laugh dismissively will be silenced.

All those who are determined to do evil will be cut down.

Those who level a false charge against an innocent person,

who twist an honest testimony and tell lies

in order to incriminate the innocent, will be stopped.

So the Eternal One, who rescued Abraham, says concerning Jacob:

Eternal One: The people of Jacob’s line will no longer be ashamed,

nor will they grow pale with embarrassment.

For when they lay eyes on their children, the work of My hands,

they will protect My name and keep it holy.

They will recognize that I am sacred, the Holy One of Jacob,

and stand in awe of Me, the God of Israel.

Whoever thought otherwise and wandered off will know the truth,

and whoever said otherwise and voiced criticism will quietly learn.

The Book (Scroll) of Isaiah, Chapter 29 (The Voice)

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for Wednesday, july 7 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons about “crossing over”:

Our father Abraham is called ha-ivri (הָעִבְרִי) - “the Hebrew,” a term that means “one who has crossed over” (עָבַר) from another place. Rashi identified this “other place” as Ur of the Chaldees (אוּר כַּשְׂדִים), located east of the Euphrates River, though the midrash (Genesis Rabbah) symbolically identifies it as the realm of idolatry: “The whole world stood on one side, but Abram crossed over to the other.” Abram separated himself from a world steeped in idolatry and polytheism by worshiping the One LORD God who is the sole Creator of all things.... Understood in this way, being “Hebrew” means being an “other,” a “stranger,” or an “outsider” to idolatrous and worldly culture. Therefore all those who "cross over" from the realm of death to life because of Yeshua are rightly called “Hebrews” (John 5:24).

The term "Jew," on the other hand, refers to one who praises the LORD (יְהוּדָה). The word (יְהוּדִי) comes from a root (יָדָה) which means to “confess” or to “praise” God (Gen. 29:35). The Apostle Paul alluded to this by saying that one whose heart has been circumcised by the Spirit is "one who is praised by God -- not by men" (Rom. 2:29). Being a Jew therefore means you are “chosen” to receive blessings and grace to live in holiness for the glory of God and for the healing of the world. The performance of various mitzvot are for the greater purpose of tikkun olam, the “repair of the world,” in order to reveal God’s goodness and love (Eph. 2:8-10). Doing so makes someone a Jew, since his praise comes not from man, but from the LORD. God is the source and the power of what makes a true tzaddik (righteous person). After all, Israel was meant to be a “light to the nations” (Isa. 42:6; 60:3), and God had always planned for all the families of the earth to come to know Him and give Him glory through his chosen servant Abraham (see Gen. 12:3; 22:18). “Jewishness” is therefore not an end in itself but rather a means to bring healing to the nations... Indeed, the entire redemptive story of the Scriptures centers on the cosmic conflict to deliver humanity from the “curse” by means of the "Seed of the woman" who would come. The gospel is Jewish because it concerns God’s great redemptive plan for the whole world (John 3:16; 4:22). [Hebrew for Christians]

7.6.21 • Facebook

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

July 7, 2021

The Eternal God

“Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.” (Psalm 90:2)

This verse was written by Moses as the children of Israel prepared to enter the Promised Land. Perhaps the most basic of all the attributes of God is that He “inhabiteth eternity” (Isaiah 57:15). He is “from everlasting to everlasting,” the God who ever was and ever shall be.

Creatures of time cannot really comprehend the idea of past eternity. “But who made God?” children ask. “Nobody made God,” we answer. “He always was.” The alternative would be to believe in the eternity of “space” and “matter,” but these in themselves are utterly incapable of producing our complex universe. God, however, is an adequate First Cause to explain all the effects of our infinite, intricate cosmos.

There are many other Scriptures assuring us that God has always been. “Thy throne is established of old: thou art from everlasting” (Psalm 93:2). He is “the everlasting God, the LORD” (Isaiah 40:28). And this truth applies to God the Son as well as to God the Father. The Lord Jesus could say, “I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last” (Revelation 22:13).

We find it somewhat easier to contemplate the fact that God will live forever. Still, certain foolish men have imagined that God is dead, but “the LORD is the true God, he is the living God, and an everlasting king” (Jeremiah 10:10).

The most glorious fact of all is that this living God did also become man, in the person of Christ Jesus, and He did die. But He soon defeated death and now can say, “I am alive for evermore” (Revelation 1:18). And now, since “we believe that Jesus died and rose again,...so shall we ever be with the Lord” (1 Thessalonians 4:14, 17). HMM

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