#take two. hopefully this time it posts

[novelconcepts]

Drawgust day 6: my beloved stoned disaster lesbians

[skillbattle]

umm hi happy juneteenth 👋🏽 im a freelancer who’s just trying to get by and pay my bills, if you’d like to support me in anyway today it would be highly appreciated!! 🫶🏽 kofi ☕️

[lotus-pear]

i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

[eggsistential-breakdown]

Ian and the twice-divorced gray-eyesed rift Ian from the first chapter of @reblogincarnation-blues's fic!

anyways the closest experience I've had to the the feeling of reading the second chapter is taking my roommate to the ER for four hours for suspected appendicitis only to come back with a UTI diagnosis and an antibiotic prescription. and it breaks your one year streak of roommates getting appendicitis. in a good way.

[guardian-angle22]

TK talking about himself vs. Other people talking about TK

[pestercide]

Taking a short hiatus

Hey y'all!!

For a while now I've been considering stepping back from posting/drawing to take some time for myself. For a while now I've been feeling drained and kinda unmotivated. I'm stuck in a rut and have been for the majority of 2024. I've been on and off with my motivation but found that I've been overall unhappy with my art.

I feel like my passion has been dwindling, and I know forcing myself to draw and post won't motivate me to continue doing what I love. Though I've had trouble stepping back due to the fact I've basically conditioned myself to draw and post as often as possible, which has done nothing but stress me out and make me feel like I'm failing when I can't muster the motivation to draw for even a single day.

So, after a lot of thinking, I've decided that I'm going to step back and take a (hopefully short) hiatus so that I can get myself out of this rut and rediscover my passion for art. I don't know how long this hiatus will last but I can guarantee it won't be super long.

This break is meant to be a time where I can stop worrying about posting often and/or consistently to instead focus on myself and what I want to do. Constantly stressing about posting has severely stunted my ability to grow and learn as an artist. While I have been improving, I've also been stuck in my 'comfort zone' which stresses me out severely. I feel like if I stay here any longer I'll only have more trouble in the long run. I feel like my rut will only worsen and I'll lose my passion for art completely. I need to step back and start drawing for myself again instead of worrying about what I think people will want to see from me.

Nowadays I feel like I'm too focused on pleasing others, hence why I'm hesitant to change in a way that might turn people away from what I do/draw and have been sticking to what got people interested in my art. I'm only human, so my tastes and interests are bound to change over time, and not everyone will like that. I feel like I'm too busy playing it safe instead of pushing myself to explore ideas that I've been wanting to try for years. I want to do my own thing again.

Tl;dr I will be taking a short hiatus to focus on myself and my art. So goodbye for now ✌️ I'll be back when I feel like I'm ready to return.

[dye-it-rouge-et-noir]

"For particularly important things, it's always more reassuring to write them down like this." - Zhang Beihai

[ID in alt text]

[woundedheartwithin]

Back on my meds, making a damn decent paycheck despite how many days I had to take off this month, my mom’s feeling better now that she’s home and we’ve figured everything out, our neighbor’s gonna build us a wheelchair ramp for cheap, and my dad miiiiiiiiight be buying a new car as we speak 🤞 (my mom just can’t get into the truck anymore, and she hasn’t wanted to drive her two seater for a while now, so we’re trading it for something practical). Things are finally going fairly well, all things considered ❤️

[real-reulbbr-band]

Since I can never get enough of them, would you happen to have any more spare Demeter/Alonzo thoughts? Anything really - angst or fluff or anything in between ^_^

OH my god thank you for this, perfectly good I'm always thinking about them to!!

Fluff:

For Alonzo, Demeter is like a siren in the Jellicle Choir; he can hear her singing voice so clearly in each melody and note without having to listen out for it. Her voice was distinctive; it was honeyed, silky, and soothing to the ears. He feels content whenever he hears it; it fills him with so many emotions: comfort, nostalgia, and a longing to bring her closer, hold her tighter, and treasure her. 

A particular moment of significance for him was hearing her sing lullabies to Jemima. Her voice was softer and quieter. As if she herself was still afraid, afraid Macavity might hear, like he was still there, but she remained so focused and dedicated that he couldn't help but admire her more. 

Despite that, he never requested for her to sing. He thought that would ruin the authenticity of it all. It felt stupid to ask; remembering titles was out of the question, and the lyrics seemed to blur together for him. He did remember the melodies; however, Demeter seemed to never sing the same song twice. He did wonder how she knew so many, or if she would make them all up on the spot. 

The one-time Alonzo did remember the lyrics clearly was the morning after the ball. They were alone again in the emptiness of their den while Demeter examined him for any serious damages after his fight with Macavity. He was still indignant but was just trying to force himself to sleep. It wouldn't have worked; he would've stared at the cloth that made up their roof all day and thought of what more he could've done, and Demeter knew that. Funnily enough, when she laid by his side and sang, it was the first time he'd ever heard a lullaby directed towards him.

Angst:

Alonzo told Demeter his third name, only her, and generally that’s seen as extremely  taboo in the tribe. Not in an ostracized way, but more cursing yourself for misfortunes; that’s why it needs to remain secret between a jellicle and the everlasting cat. By telling it to another, you placed them above the everlasting cat in your heart and mind.

But Demeter made the same mistake before; she told Macavity and lived to regret it. To be fair to her, she was pushed to show her commitment to him and to him alone. Macavity was possessive like that; he needed to be the one she held above all else; it was the only way he felt secure that she wouldn’t ever leave or love another. 

She told him hers, but he couldn’t bring himself to share his own. He just held her, and that was enough in the moment. Looking back, she wished she had confronted him or said anything about it. She figured he would, in time, but he never did. It felt as if she were beneath him.

It was a pain and a choice she’s only ever confessed to having done with Alonzo; she didn’t want to relive that moment or that awful memory beyond that. But when Alonzo told her his own after, she informed him he shouldn’t have—it felt wrong to know, she didn’t want to know—he upset her when that was far from his intention and he hated himself for it. 

His love for Demeter was his strength and his undoing in that way- he was always so reckless when it came to her.

Demeter did tell him hers after she calmed down again: she wanted them to be equals; she didn’t want to be above someone she had learned to love again for.

shorter one:

Demeter is quite literally an ice cube when it comes to weather reacting with her fur; she doesn’t get cold easily, but when she does, Alonzo is typically the first to notice. With him being a longhair cat, he’s almost always warm, so when winter comes, Demeter is more often cuddled up with Alonzo. She doesn’t say anything, though; she doesn’t need to. She normally just leans into him; Alonzo won’t admit it, but the chill does shock him sometimes, but it’s also so soothing

Honestly ever since I saw your post of sillabub being their kitten that has been my canon for them, so I do have some head canons based on that: (All Baby!bub btw)

Alonzo’s never been around newborn kittens often enough before joining the junkyard to be aware of their habits, so whenever Sillabub would waddle around and suddenly fall on her back, he’d panic and sometimes scoop her up to make sure she wasn’t hurt, only to discover she was completely fine. He saw her as almost “too fragile,” which wasn’t completely irrational; she was born earlier than expected and needed additional attention compared to the average kit. But to Alonzo, it was like she was made of glass.

So much so that while she was still small, he preferred holding her by the scruff or in his arms rather than letting her follow along.

Ironically, this birthed a rather cheeky habit in Sillabub; she would often bap her dad's spots whenever he was holding her for a longer period of time. The spots weren't completely noticeable from a distance, but they were there—small black spots throughout a bronze and brown coat. Even when she woke up in his arms, she’d often bang him awake. 

Alonzo didn’t understand how or why this became a habit, but at most he didn’t mind; he’d pretend her soft little paw would make any impact on him, often with a louder gasp of indignation that would make Sillabub giggle (and bap him again). 

Demeter would use this to her advantage; whenever Alonzo was particularly reluctant to get up in the morning (he always would get up; it was just slow progress), she’d often set Sillabub on his back or his stomach and let her bap away until he was wide awake again and could pick her up.

In the rare cases where Sillabub got too excited and wouldn't stop bapping her father, Demeter would make the claim that if she didn't, all his spots would fall out. Normally, Sillabub would say sorry right after, and of course she's immediately forgiven.  (Silly HC, but she thinks that's why Victoria's white.)

Sillabub, like her sister, started talking later than the typical kitten. Most of her communication was just mewing and coos. Whenever she didn’t want something, she’d show it through her actions. Like whenever her mom or dad offers her another piece of food after she’s already full. She’d often try to feed it to them instead by holding the piece in her mouth and trying to approach her parents’ muzzles. She’d normally end up tapping the food next to their mouths instead of actually feeding them. Demeter always politely declines, while Alonzo tries to encourage her to have one last piece. But Sillabub shakes her head and keeps trying; if she could talk at that stage, she’d insist her parents needed food too; they did eat; she was just too busy munching to see. 

[afrenomes]

Getting off my moral high horse of “fuck Lithuania” for a second to seriously consider that Lithuanian aka EU citizenship offer

[accirax]

Disventure Camp All Stars Power Ranking (Round 8)

It's yet again time to round up some power rankings. Will I slip at the start or slide my way to a perfect score?

In case you haven't seen my previous power rankings ( 5 | 6 | 7 ), the Power Ranking Format is essentially a way of ranking how well each player is doing in the game. So, in essence, this is a long form way of predicting who I think will be eliminated from the competition in the next episode. There will be spoilers for last week's episode (obviously) and its power ranking, so make sure to read that first if you don't want to be spoiled on how I ranked our last boot. If you want more clarification on the rules, that first post will help you out as well. Furthermore, I'm going to be spoiling the preview for next episode, so if you want to go in TOTALLY blind, save this for later. Let's go!

Recap - Ellie's Elimination

Current Point Total: 28 acquired/42 total

I should've stuck to my guns, dammit! Why couldn't this exact scenario have played out, like, two weeks ago, when I would've been totally right? Just another failing of my self doubts, I suppose. This time, I'll be sure to doubt those doubts.

Anyways, given that I've anticipated it for so long, Ellie's elimination is as unsurprising as it is understandable (which is "highly"). As I mentioned in my initial thoughts, I really like how they explained her elimination as the game being bad for her, because, it's true! It made it extra surprising that Ellie wasn't there for the Patreon readings-- more or less increasing her odds of rejoining the game later-- but, who knows what'll happen there. For now, I think this season will be fine without Ellie there to add her particular brand of spice, even if it helped to flesh out the season's palette while she was there.

Also, I finally put the boot in 10th place instead of 9th place :D I'm improving!

Trailer Analysis

Tom and Aiden will do... whatever the hell this is. My guess is that Tom is (lightheartedly) teasing Aiden about something regarding James. Maybe it's some kind of pivot after Aiden tries to press Tom further about his mysterious boyfriend?

Alec and Grett will join Riya sunning herself on the beach. This may be important if it's showing Yul being on the outs.

Gabby will yell at Tess, presumably confronting her over Ellie's elimination.

The way the shots before this one were cut together, it seems like Ashley and Riya (and, by extension, Magenta and Yellow) will argue with each other.

The challenge will be something involving a slip n slide track where contestants shoot a ball at the end. Notably, it seems that they don't start off holding the balls at the beginning of the track. Also, some contestants are shown sitting, while others are shown standing. Maybe there's a break point in the middle where they acquire the balls, and can switch between sitting and standing?

The thumbnail shot, which shows Tess and Ally arguing with someone. Based on the earlier content, my guess is Riya/the Yellow Team.

Jake, at least, will also attempt to throw a ball before the stop at the end illustrated by Grett. Some theories: 1) this is a desperate hail mary at the end of the challenge that Jake throws early to prevent Magenta from losing, 2) this is a desperate pass to either Ashley or Ally, who are standing ahead of Jake, at the end of the challenge to prevent Magenta from losing, or 3) this is Jake choosing to enable PvP and throw the ball at probably Aiden or Tom. Honestly, leaning towards #3.

"You think saying you're gay is something huge? Look what show we're on."

Trevor and Emily will continue their conversation regarding Trevor's feelings for Derek, and Trevor will (presumably) come to outwardly acknowledge those feelings as romantic, coming out to Emily as gay/bi. (Bi is the canon one as far as we last heard.) Emily is sitting on a picnic blanket, which implies that she decided to eat the picnic herself after Yul chose to abandon it. She's an icon for that and the quote itself.

There's a lot more camp life shown in this trailer than the last one. This definitely seems like it could be a short challenge, with more focus on interpersonal relationships and the fallout of last episode's elimination. That definitely gives me some material to work with, although, as always, it's gonna be at least a partial shot in the dark.

Power Ranking

#1: Ashley

I still think Ashley is totally safe. Why would Ally and Jake work together to eliminate her? It just doesn't make sense. Barring, like... a medical evacuation, Ashley will live to see another day. And, based on the trailer, it even seems like Ally would be the more likely medevac.

#2: Alec

I also still think that Alec is very likely to survive, because, similar to Ashley, it doesn't make any sense for Riya, Yul, and Grett to work together to eliminate him. I think the most likely path to an Alec boot would be if he and Riya try to vote for probably Yul, and Yul and Grett decide to vote for Alec, sending Alec home in whatever the tiebreaker would be this time. However, even in that fringe situation, I think that Yul and Grett would choose to vote for Riya over Alec, and that, narratively, Yul would probably lose the tiebreaker challenge. There's no way he'd win a tiebreaker twice, right? Especially with an injured foot?

I also want to draw attention to the fact that the three boots from S1 thus far have been Miriam, Fiore, and Ellie, in that order. First place, then second place, then third place. I do wonder if Alec, as S1's fourth place finisher, will pick up on that pattern and worry about it at all.

#3: Ally

An Ally boot would definitely be surprising. It's still possible that Ashley could choose to side with Jake over her, but I don't think that's the direction the story will take. Like, the intended message could be, "true friends will stick with you through thick and thin, so there's no reason to worry." However, I think that a better and probably more accurate moral to learn would be "if you always assume the worst in people, you'll drive even those who want the best for you away." AKA, I don't think that the narrative would want to reward Jake for slipping back into those old insecure habits by having Ashley cave under his whining.

The way that the writers have fleshed Ally out this season has been really nice, and I hope that her story doesn't end before the merge. Despite her placing sixth in S2 (the same place as, uh, Tom), I always forget that she made it late into the game. Probably because she wasn't bringing a whole lot to the table. Now she is, so let's hope that table doesn't fold under the weight of Jake bias.

#4: Grett

Y'know, I still don't really know what to do with Grett. The narrative as it stands could function without her-- the main plot line she's involved in at the moment is pretty self-contained, and could naturally disappear with her elimination-- but the Yellow Team really doesn't seem like they'd be gearing up to vote her out. Right now, she's a loyal and somewhat naive/subservient henchman, which is exactly what characters like Alec or Yul are looking for.

Due to that logic, I wound up being fairly confident that she won't be the next elimination. I hope she won't, because I really like Grett, both in S1 and DCAS. Then again, I really like pretty much everyone in DCAS, but the show just has to keep eliminating people! Why do we keep putting ourselves through this...?!

#5: Tom

The state of Cyan up until their next elimination is quite the interesting situation, indeed. Given that Aiden, Tom, and Tess already voted against Gabby last time, and Gabby made it clear to us that she doesn't plan on legitimately working with any of them anymore, Gabby is the obvious next elimination from that tribe. So, when considering the others, my main criteria is, "who would Gabby be the most likely to vote for in the case of her finding a totem?"

Given Gabby's character, I imagine that her vote would be decided by who she feels the most betrayed by/is the most angry at, as opposed to being a huge strategic play. All three of Aiden, Tom, and Tess have their arguments for being Gabby's biggest target, which I'll elaborate on in each of their individual sections.

For Tom, the argument is that Gabby would feel the most betrayed by him because he was actually one of her friends on S1, as opposed to Aiden and Tess, who she didn't know super well. She thought they were genuine friends, yet he was out there cackling over Ellie's elimination with the rest of them.

However, despite that personal element, I think that targeting Tom would be Gabby's least likely decision. I'd attribute Ellie's elimination as Aiden's move, and Tess was the facilitator that made it happen. Tom was just along for the ride. Although that hasn't stopped Gabby from holding a grudge in the past (pour one out for Dan), to me it seems like she'd have bigger fish to fry.

Additionally, I think that (other than possibly Gabby) Tom would be the worst Cyan character to lose at the moment, narratively speaking. If Tom is going to be eliminated, it would be much more satisfying for it to be the result of his own poor decisions (like what just happened to Ellie) than Gabby's random silver bullet. Between Jake, Aiden, and the lie Tom trapped himself in, it feels to me like the writers have more that they want to do with Tom yet.

#6: Tess

Alright, so, why would Gabby want to eliminate Tess? Well, Tess was the deciding vote between whether Ellie or Aiden would go home, and, by Gabby's reaction, she was pretty surprised by Tess' verdict. Therefore, Gabby could see Tess as having committed the greatest betrayal.

There is also a possibility that Gabby could manage to eliminate Tess without needing some sort of idol or advantage. At the very least, I'm sure it would be far easier for Gabby to convince Aiden and Tom to work together to eliminate Tess than to get either of Aiden and Tom to flip on each other. Aiden and Tom might go along with it if they were worried about Tess flipping on Cyan to vote with Magenta at the merge because of Ally, or something.

However, I still don't really think that Tess would be eliminated in this fashion. You could argue that her character arc is now complete upon her making the decision to side with the boys over Ellie, but personally, I don't think that's all they'd want to do with her. Down to this next episode's thumbnail, recent episodes have been rekindling the relationship between Tess and Ally, and making us look forward to seeing more happen between them (romantic or platonic). I want to believe that they'll make the merge together, so I hope Tess isn't eliminated here.

#7: Aiden

The answer as to why Gabby would choose to get Aiden out is obvious: he's the one that spearheaded the movement to eliminate Ellie. Out of everyone who is or even has been on the Cyan Team, Aiden is the one who Gabby has bonded with the least. Plus, Gabby could adopt the mentality of "I'll fulfill Ellie's dying wish (eliminating Aiden) or get eliminated trying." It's my gut feeling that if Gabby were to idol someone out this episode, Aiden would be her target of choice.

And, as I wrote about last episode, if James doesn't become a returning player, the writers have less of a direct reason to keep Aiden around. He's still a fan favorite as always, but, like... the name of the game this season is sending fan favorites home. Unless he makes the final 3 again (which, granted, is possible), he will be eliminated at some point. So, why not now?

Well, the reason is still his relationships with other characters, even the ones that aren't James. The last episode also drew attention back to Aiden's relationship with Riya, and heightened the animosity between him and Jake. While having his relationship with Ellie lead to his downfall would make sense, leaving his rivalries with Jake and especially Riya unfinished would be a waste, in my opinion. Those three are dying to have beef with each other at the merge. Now that Ellie's out, maybe Aiden can be my new merge boot, in a synthesized move between Riya and her allies and Jake and his allies. Boy, would that make Tom mad. Honestly, seems pretty legit...

#8: Gabby

I know I kinda promised @/thefandomenchantress that Gabby wouldn't be at the bottom of my power rankings anymore, and, well, she isn't! ... But she's still at the bottom of Cyan. Sorry! Let me explain myself.

Let's be clear: I don't actually think Gabby is going anywhere this episode. While it is possible, I think it would be pretty lame to get the audience all hyped up over a potential Gabby villain arc only to cut it short prematurely. I find it far more likely that she'll be in this game for the long haul, now.

However, if the Connor... and Fiore... and Ellie... boots have told me anything, it's that, if it seems like the entire tribe would really obviously send their votes towards one person, it's probably that person who would be going home. Given that no totem has yet been announced for this season, and Ellie already scoured the entire Cyan camp looking for one, I find it unlikely that Gabby would be able to suddenly produce an idol with which to save herself. Therefore, if Cyan goes to tribal again, Gabby would probably be eliminated. I just find it more likely that they won't.

But even beyond that, you can tell how much I feel like the writers wouldn't want to send Gabby home right now by how I stacked all of the Cyan team members on top of each other. If Cyan does go to tribal, somehow, maybe the writers would be planning some sort of trick to keep Gabby in the game and eliminate... one of the others. I'm pretty confident that everyone Gabby and upward will be safe in the upcoming episode, and that there are only three people at real risk of elimination. So, let's talk about them.

#9: Jake

If Magenta goes to tribal, I think Jake would be eliminated. He made a lot of enemies last episode, which is worrisome. Even beyond the direct implications of potentially making Ashley like him less, by making enemies on other teams, Jake has made it more likely that other contestants would be less likely to work with him come the merge. If Ashley could realize that, she would see that picking Jake over Ally would be bad gameplay.

Leaving Jake's relationships with Aiden and Tom somewhat unresolved would be unfortunate, but viable. I'm working a lot with that shot of Jake shooting the ball while seated, here. Let's say that, in a fit of jealousy, Jake does wind up shooting that ball at Aiden's head, but not in a way that makes Magenta win. That childish display causes Ashley to reevaluate Jake's character, and choose to vote with Ally. In that way, Aiden and Jake's hostility could still contribute to Jake's elimination without Aiden actually casting a vote for Jake. It would be really similar to how they used Jake and Ellie's relationship this season, honestly. Jake didn't get to directly vote Ellie out, but the way that Ellie obsessed over tearing the man down became part of Tess' logic.

Still, Jake is in ninth instead of lower down because he is so entrenched in plot lines and relationships. As I alluded to back in Ally's section, I do definitely get the sense that the writers have a lot of bias towards Jake as a character, given how much focus he's gotten in both S1 and DCAS. He's their special little blorbo. They can't just get rid of him now!

Much like Gabby, though, I'm not going to let my personal sense of narrative override what actually seems to be going down at the camps anymore. I wanted to put one representative from each tribe pretty close to the bottom in case of emergencies, and I think Jake is by far the easiest boot from that team if they do lose. There's a definite gulf between how likely I think it is that Gabby will be eliminated versus that Jake will be eliminated. However, there's a pretty big gulf between Jake and our last two for me, as well...

#10: Riya

and

#11: Yul

I feel like I kind of have to talk about these two together this time because of how I believe the episode is going to play out. So, what do I think will happen?

Well, basically, I think that this episode will result in a big decision point for Alec. At the beginning of the episode, we'll see that scene of him, Riya, and Grett all sunning themselves together, while Yul is off doing whatever Yul does. Then, we'll go to the challenge, where Riya will rile up the other teams and get them mad at her. The challenge will play out as it does, and, in some combination of Riya's tactics and Yul's injury, Yellow will lose. Thus, it'll be up for Alec to decide: is it time to get rid of Riya, or Yul?

Riya is a potential liability to Alec because of how her plans often result in the team losing. She's also very clearly in it for herself, and wouldn't hesitate to screw him over (just like Fiore did in S1). She represents the unfortunate blend of being dumb enough to play the game recklessly while also being smart enough that she might not blindly follow the leader with the same level of obedience that Yul or this iteration of Grett would. Working with her is dangerous. And yet, Alec seems to genuinely enjoy her company. With Fiore, Connor, and even Ellie now eliminated, friends are a commodity Alec is running low on. Would he really want to axe Riya, too? But, would he really let the notion of friendship stop him from doing what's best for his game?

Yul is the exact opposite. Alec has made it clear again and again that he thinks that Yul is a cruel and self-absorbed idiot. I'm sure he doesn't want to work with Yul more than he has to. But, does he have to? Yul and Grett currently have the advantage of coming as a pair, so if Alec wants any prayer of keeping his villains' alliance alive, he should probably keep around two allies instead of one. Yul himself nominated Alec as the leader last episode, unprompted. That level of power is hard to deny.

Despite Grett's connection to Yul, I think that Yul would be the more likely boot from this episode. 'Cause, guess what? Yul's rule of threes with Emily is over now! He fired her from that position, essentially ending that plot thread, which may be a hint that we might let him go soon. Without his earpiece, I could even see Yul saying something cruel to Grett in this episode that makes her decide to flip on him and potentially break up with him. Meanwhile, Riya still has her relationship with Aiden to provide intrigue if they ever meet up again.

It's also possible that Yul and Grett could vote for Riya, while Riya and Alec vote for Yul, resulting in a tie. However, as I said, I think that Yul would be set up to lose the tiebreaker this time around, thus making him this episode's boot anyways.

I've really enjoyed Yul's jokes this season, so I would definitely be sad to see him eliminated. I had been thinking about him as a potential (LOSING) finalist, so, if he doesn't go home this episode, maybe that could still happen. However, it feels to me that the writing is on the wall. If not for him, then, most likely for Riya.

Somehow, these power rankings keep getting shorter to write every time. It's almost like there are fewer variables to consider with each episode. I feel fairly confident that it's going to be Yul or Riya this time, so, hopefully that's another 10 or 11 points in the bag. See you next time!

[potential-fate]

I have accepted my fate and scheduled an appointment with a repair shop tomorrow to see what the fuck is causing my computer to not boot unless it's in safe mode :)))))

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.

[the-kipsabian]

i got so excited about getting an email that my stamps have shipped

is this what being an adult is like?

[volfoss]

I'm so so good at powering through books that cause me agony bc I'm over half done w this horrible experience :3 if I can power through a bit more, I'll only have about 120 pages left for tomorrow

[mayashesfly]

The Vees (+ Alastor & Niffty) and what Overwatch Role/Hero(es) they would play as

VOX

Only plays DPS. One may think that he might like playing Tank but despite being the face of his brand, he still prefers being behind the scenes. So he actually enjoys the freedom of being able to make plays and not worry about taking space and everything else about playing Tank.

Tries to play Echo alot hoping he would get good with her, because nothing is more satisfying than diffing someone on their own hero and even Ulting better than them. Unfortunately despite his fantasies of being good on Echo, he's actually not that great of an Echo player, fucking up her flight mechanics and not having enough time to actually play the other heroes to use her Ult to the best of its capabilities.

Soldier 76 is his actual Main and his crutch when he ends up feeding too much on Echo that Velvette starts berating him and Valentino is about to snap. And boy is he good at Soldier.

Not worrying about vertical mobility does wonders for this old man's brain and he does pretty well at taking off angles and rotating on Soldier. And nothing gets him off more than getting a near team kill with his Ult.

In general, he likes hitscan heroes. So he can also play a bit of Bastion and Sojourn. But his positioning and usage of their mobility abilities needs work. (Which is also why he sucks at Echo because she's a projectile hero that can also switch to beam)

Though.... he can also just be too aggressive at times, causing Valentino to have to save his ass.

VALENTINO

Prefers and loves playing DPS, unfortunately relegated to playing Support. If he was ever forced to play Tank, everything would've already been destroyed. Though just playing Support by itself is already nearing that line if it weren't for Velvette.

Valentino uses Lifeweaver when he has no choice but to play Support alongside the other Vees. Though he does much more damage than what he actually should do, like healing the team. Especially since he needs to charge his heals.

Lifeweaver's auto aim healing petals and lifegrip does wonders for Valentino considering his eyesight. Especially when he has to pull Vox out of a bind when he overextended too much because he was way too fucking aggressive.

Now, you may wonder why he doesn't play Moira instead if he wanted damage.

Well, Valentino loves having to aim damage and he hates having autoaim for that. But if you make him have to aim or even think about doing healing even if it's pissing spraying on people, he will fucking rip your head apart.

Sometimes he would play Illiari too, especially if he's getting dove too fucking much on Lifeweaver.

Don't expect him to use his healing beam because all the healing you'll get from him is from his pylon, and his pylon placements can use some work, but at least it's slightly above average. His headshots on Illiari though? He's an actual menace, and he has the timing of her shots for maximum damage down.

If he finally isn't stuck on Support, he's terrifyingly amazing on Ashe. He can surprisingly hit most of his shots and he utilizes her kit very well. And nothing gets him going more than seeing Bob absolutely slaughter everyone. Sometimes he would even get a few boops kills with the shotgun, especially when a particular DPS or Lucio player kept diving him last game and he got lucky with the map selection.

He can also play a little Cassidy, but he sometimes he doesn't like being too close ranged. And Widowmaker is too boring for him to try for more than a few seconds.

VELVETTE

Plays DPS but sometimes plays Tank too. Will NEVER touch Support if she could help it because Support is for pussies and is overtuned/overpowered.

Sombra Main. She is definitely 100% a Sombra Main. It's practically a match made in Heaven, if Heaven was Hell. Nothing makes her grin more than bullying the enemy team's Supports and spawncamping them.

But no really, she's wonderful at disrupting the enemy team and even getting picks to let her team make more plays since she spent way too much time playing when she's free.

She knows every healthpacks' location and when it's a good time to hack them.

She's also definitely salty about Sombra's translocator rework but she's been able to adapt well enough to the new translocator.

Her Ult is never wasted because she knows to wait when her team can actually follow up. And she makes sure Valentino isn't getting dived too much that he breaks their set up.

Sometimes she also plays Tracer, though she dislikes her lack of utility compared to Sombra and you know, invisibility.

Sometimes she also plays Widowmaker, but it's nothing else except for clout from getting good clips for her.

When she plays Tank, she can only really reliably use D.va since she's also high mobility like Sombra and Tracer.

She loves diving the backline and killing Supports before going back to peel for Valentino. Since he usually plays Lifeweaver, it's a win-win regardless of how much Velvette moved around.

Though admittedly, she doesn't use defende matrix too much to mitigate damage for her allies.

Definitely spams the "GG" and "Is this easy mode?" voicelines once she wipes the enemy team on the floor.

Refuses to play Orisa since she thinks using her is cheap and only shows that she's terrible at Tank since she's relegated as the "crutch tank"

ALASTOR

Only plays when Charlie needles him into it as a bonding activity since he thinks it's a waste of time.

Usually only plays Torbjorn and Symettra so he could just place down their turrets and act like he's contributing to the game by using them. Refuses to use the other abilities and primary fire of the hero he plays as because surely the turrets would do the job for him.

It annoys Vaggie and the others endlessly that he's practically wasting a player slot. But honestly, what did they expect?

In private, he's actually one of the most terrifying Moira mains you would have the displeasure of knowing. He will fade into your backline and absolutely demolish them and have the craziest fade jump techniques that you've never seen that you won't even figure out where the fuck he went.

Purely a DPS Moira and you'll be lucky if the healing orb he tossed out for himself grazed your hero to heal you.

But hey, who needs healing if the enemy team lost their healers and now they're dead?

Truly a menace to both his team and the enemy team since he doesn't heal and all he does is kill.

(though he also likes hunting down soldiers)

NIFFTY

Only plays when the hotel residents play since she usually doesn't see the appeal.

But if she does play? Junkrat Main. 100% a Junkrat Main. Not only is Junkrat a bad boy but he is the order in chaos.

It does sometimes annoy Niffty that she can't clean him up but she absolutely has fun just tossing grenades and blasting everyone into bits.

At first, she merely spams on Junkrat like an amateur. But once she decided to become a Junkrat Connoisseur? You better fucking run because she'll be hitting every grenade and mine on your face regardless if you fly.

Sometimes Cherri Bomb wonders if she's better at Junkrat or if Niffty is.

Admittedly though, there are times she gets too impatient on waiting for the right moment on Junkrat and just jumps in to cause mayhem, leading her to feed at times when she's too excited and aggressive.