#tagging things can be very subjective

[kittygirlpaw]

I don't wanna throw shade at anyone but tagging things while censoring the tag (or even using multiple censored tags of the same thing!) so it becomes almost incomprehensible is defeating the point of a tag so people can look for it or avoid it. Like I don't wanna be a downer here but it feels completely counter-productive. Just say it with your chest and it will make everything easier I promise.

[carouselunique]

Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...

I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.

I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)

I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.

And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.

Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.

If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)

All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.

[drag00ni]

i can draw again hi

[prolibytherium]

No hate I’ve just got like.. The absolute polar opposite opinion. I tend to be less into high fantasy where gods are confirmed Real with little to no room for interpretation because of the way it often sets up dichotomies of like, the Correct/Good belief systems vs the Wrong/Bad belief systems. If gods are observably materially real with exact specific natures and correct interpretations, it just kind of Adds limitations that would not otherwise exist, and a lot of the times results in worlds that feel flat and lacking in diversity. I think this framework can be perfectly fine for fantasy but approaching it with the exact same lack of nuance I'm talking about lends to executions that are reductive at BEST.

Part of why I’m into the hard realism no canon magic/supernatural fantasy is because of how much freedom it gives to explore the full spectrum of belief systems. There's nothing about this framing that prevents you from treating belief systems in a thoughtful and serious manner, and if anything it's a better framework to explore the full implications and effects on reality of religious belief (because In Real Life religion is a personal/cultural lens to subjective reality and has profound societal effects without people having Empirically Provable interactions with deities or etc). And tbh I feel like thinking that having a religion be Canon Reality in a setting is the only way for beliefs to not be treated as Stupid just kind of loops back around into treating religious belief as Being Stupid (ie: it's only NOT stupid when it's a materially provable aspect of reality)

I think you can have a setting that embraces the idea of a religion people believe in by simply having a setting that embraces the idea of a religion people believe in. You know?

[rivalsforlife]

thinking abt games that hate female characters + currently replaying p4g (because I am a completionist and want to get all the achievements for at least one persona game and p4 seems the most achievable). what's especially frustrating to me is that naoto is a character who definitely should be up my alley (speaking as a girl in a traditionally male-dominated profession who prefers wearing more masculine clothes and having short hair and thought I might be a boy at 15 before coming to the conclusion that it wasn't for me) if they didn't do the whole gender thing in a horrifically transphobic way and didn't execute the whole "accepting being a woman" thing in an also completely terrible way. checking out guides to make sure I don't shoot myself in the foot with social links and holy shit I hate so many of these choices for naoto.

[volfoss]

it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.

[good-beans]

I am not immune to cheesy anime one liners and stunning gender ambiguous swordsmen.....

[gracemarkss]

my biggest issue with chris carter is honestly that i cannot for the life of me pin down what exactly he's trying to communicate about bodily autonomy and reproductive exploitation. these are clearly central themes of the show and he's got a real preoccupation with women's reproductive capabilities especially. the entire plot under-girding the show is an international government conspiracy in which, in order to fend off an alien invasion or develop military weapons or both, women are abducted, experimented on, and impregnated without their knowledge in order to create hybrid superhumans with weird powers; these women are subsequently tracked and then disposed of via an incurable cancer. i think the show generally frames this as an ultimately fruitless effort, which solves nothing and creates more problems than it solves. this project is evil, medical rape is bad, and what's happened to these women is a terrible injustice. the ends - potentially saving the world, or at least some of it, from some sort of apocalyptic event - do not justify the means.

but then you have small potatoes, post modern prometheus, the william plot. we're supposed to laugh at the woman who genuinely believes she's given birth to luke skywalker's baby. we're supposed to feel sorry for the monster, because all he wanted was a female companion. in both small potatoes and pmp, women who lack the ability to get pregnant otherwise, whether due to infertility or no male partner, are impregnated via rape, and both episodes seem to communicate an "all's well that ends well" message because these women wanted children and they got them. the women in small potatoes thought they were having sex with their husbands; the women in pmp were unconscious; the result was children and that was the goal these women were working toward; everything's find. both episodes have comedic, whimsical tones; neither rapist, imo is truly held accountable for their crimes (even though van blundht goes to prison, he basically gets the last word, and while i find him pathetic i feel the episode wants him to be seen as sympathetic - he's such a romantic, women just won't give him the time of day because he's ugly)

with william, carter obfuscates the reality of his conception and presents the possibility that he is the product of csm artificially inseminating scully while she's unconscious. but scully is another woman who wanted a child, thought it wasn't a possibility, and got one anyway. does it matter that she may have experienced a terrible violation in the process?

idk maybe i'm missing something vital, but i can't figure it out. i can't parse what he's trying to say about these themes that are so central to the story he's writing. rape is bad when it's the government but ok if it's a lonely sad sack guy, especially when it results in pregnancy and the victim really wanted a kid? women should be ok with pregnancy regardless of how it came about?

i feel like carter views women's reproduction as though it's magical or divine and not a basic biological process that exists everywhere in nature (one that in humans does indeed make women vulnerable to exploitation and violence; controlling women's bodies and reproduction results in a great deal of power and that's why governments, cultural institutions, and individual men have been trying and largely succeeding in doing so for centuries - this is a basic aspect of patriarchy). other people have talked about their interpretation of shades of the madonna-whore complex visible in his writing and the hang ups he seems to have around female sexual desire. what's the difference between the women who are abducted as part of the project, who are framed as victims, and those who are violated in sp or pmp, who are framed more as people to be laughed at, and not explicitly as victimized? what's the difference between the men involved in the project, and van blundht and the monster? why are non consensual pregnancies even utilized as plot drivers in these episodes at all? what are they adding? what is he saying?? it just ends up feeling really gross to me.

this is obviously a fraught and sensitive topic. it's just that these themes are so vital to the overall plot of the show and i feel insane that i can't pin down what we're supposed to take away from them, because the messaging imo is so inconsistent and contradictory. maybe there are no answers and this is just a result of sloppy and insensitive writing as a result of the cc and most of the writers room being men and failing to really grasp the magnitude of these topics.

[gregoftom]

oh ok

[widevibratobitch]

me when im obsessed with dead singers from 50 (well... mostly 70-120) years ago and im heartbroken to know i'll never see them on stage... never hear them breathe, never see them sweat, never even touch the hem of their garment...

it really is enough to drive a person mad...

[ladiesoftheages]

Someone remind me sometime to post my essay about the way people talk about Henry VIII

[gorogorogorochan]

question to game devs on this site: what would be the best version of rpgmaker to use if i wanted to create a game akin to harvest moon/rune factory/stardew valley? i would love to get into game making but i am not sure which version would be best for what i wanna make...

[medicinemane]

Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them

Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening

It's all I really ask

[2024skin]

Thinking about the gay Mormon kid I met in middle school and how all the other Mormons were convinced he was gay-faking and actually straight

[a-motherfucking-beast]

coach ur so cool but i hate exercising :(

SON. LET ME TELL YOU. THERE IS A CERTAIN THING ALL THE LANKY BINOS IN THEIR HAUGHTY-TAUGHTY UNIVERSITIES AGREE ON. AND THAT'S THAT THERE ARE *SOME* THINGS THAT ARE ESSENTIAL TO BEING A HUMAN. ART -- MUSIC, DANCE, VISUAL MEDIUMS. FRIENDSHIP, BROTHERHOOD. JOY AND SORROW. SHARING OF KNOWLEDGE. FAITH. LOVE. FOR SOMEONE ELSE, FOR THIS WORLD, FOR YOURSELF.

AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. FUCK YEAH

BE IT PLAYING TIGGY IN THE SCHOOLYARD OR BEING A PROFESSIONAL LINEBACKER PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE PLAYS A SPORT OR EVEN JUST WALKS SOMEWHERE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE. FOR GOOD REASON -- EXERCISE RELEASES ENDORPHINS AND DOPAMINE AND OTHER FEEL-GOOD SHIT IN YOUR BRAIN, BALLFACE, AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THE OTHER BENEFITS OF STAYING HEALTHY AND BEING ABSOLUTELY YOKED AND TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY THAT SHOULD PROBABLY CONVINCE YOU TO TRY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

SON, I'M NOT GOING TO CONVINCE YOU TO TAKE UP BODYBUILDING OR ANY OTHER HEFTY COMMITMENT LIKE THAT. THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC BUT EVEN I CAN RECOGNISE THAT IT'S NOT FOR EVERYONE. I CAN ONLY OFFER THIS ADVICE.

IF YOU HATE EXERCISING THEN THERE ARE ONLY SEVERAL (AT LEAST ONE) POSSIBILITIES WHY YOU DO.

A) YOU HAVEN'T FOUND THE RIGHT OUTLET. TRY OUT A NEW SPORT YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED BEFORE THAT YOU CAN PLAY AT YOUR LOCAL GYM. HARRY WAS THE FUCKING GOAT AT BEING A GYM TEACHER BUT NOT EVERY GYM TEACHER IS AS FANTASTIC AS HE WAS AND MAY NOT FACILITATE THE FULL EXPERIENCE OF PLAYING A SPORT SO MAYBE EVEN TRY PLAYING SOMETHING YOU THINK YOU DON'T LIKE. HELL, MAYBE TRY SOMETHING LIKE ACROBATIC ARTS, THAT SHIT NEEDS STRENGTH AS WELL. FUCKING BREAKDANCING. BECOME AN ANAL ACROBAT LMFAO. HELL, YOU DON'T NEED SOMETHING STRENUOUS -- EVEN IF YOU GO FOR A WALK IN YOUR LOCAL PARK EVERY MORNING WHEN THE SUN'S JUST RISING (THE VIEW AROUND THE LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF JAMROCK IS BEAUTIFUL) OR DO SOME STRETCHES WHEN YOU WAKE UP THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING. DON'T LET ANYONE PUT YOU DOWN FOR DOING LESS THAN THEM.

B) YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE RIGHT PEOPLE SUPPORTING YOU. AGAIN, YOU ONLY WISH YOU COULD'VE HAD OUR HARRY AS YOUR TEACHER AND REFEREE, BUT IT ALSO COMES DOWN TO YOUR TEAMMATES, WHETHER THEY FACILITATE YOUR PRESENCE AND BUILD A SENSE OF CAMARADERIE WITH YOU. YOUR SPOTTER, WHO YOU PLACE ULTIMATE TRUST IN. YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, THE PEOPLE YOU HOLD CLOSEST WHO YOU CAN SHARE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS WITH. OR EVEN JUST THE PERSON DOING THEIR OWN THING NEXT TO YOU WHO MIGHT GIVE YOU A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT OR CONGRATULATE YOU WHEN YOU HIT A NEW PERSONAL RECORD. GOING TO A GYM CAN HELP WITH THIS WHEN YOU ALL HAVE A SHARED GOAL, BUT THERE'S PLENTY OF ELITISTS THERE WHO MIGHT SHIT ON YOU FOR BEING A NEWBIE OR NOT HAVING THE SAME CAPABILITIES AS THEM OR EVEN HARASSING YOU FOR YOUR IDENTITY. TUNE THEM OUT. THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE ARE PRESENT EVERYWHERE YOU GO AND YOU SHOULDN'T ALLOW THEM TO SULLY YOUR EXPERIENCES. OR ALSO YOU CAN DECK THEM IN THE FACE. PERSONALLY I'M LEANING TOWARDS THE SECOND ONE BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE (DO THE SECOND ONE)

NOW THAT WE'VE GOT THAT STRAIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW -- ONLY DO SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU'RE CAPABLE OF, AND SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU CAN ENJOY. DON'T TURN THIS SHIT INTO A GODDAMN CHORE THAT LEAVES YOU SUFFERING EVERY TIME YOU DO IT, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT OF ANY OF IT. I DON'T KNOW YOUR PERSONAL SITUATION, NOT EVERYONE'S GOT THE MEANS OR THE TIME OR THE PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES. BUT CALISTHENICS DOESN'T TAKE ANY SPECIAL EQUIPMENT AND EVEN JUST SOME STRETCHES WHEN YOU GET UP WILL DO. GODDAMMIT, COACH *WILL* FIND SOMETHING THAT WORKS FOR YOU, BOY

ANYWAYS DAMN RIGHT I'M FUCKING COOL DON'T YOU FORGET THAT

[snazum]

me trying to stroll thru the ted nivison tag on tumblr for some sick art X READER, IMAGINE, OTHER THINGS I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF EVEN THO IT'S QUITE LITERATLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME XDD