#syd and carmy but in a PLATONICALLY way

[kiamands]

You deserve my full focus

[undead-moth]

So The Bear ends season 2 with Carmy fucking up his pretty serious relationship with Claire. They spent an entire season developing this relationship between Carmy and Claire, and now it's over, and not just over, but abruptly and painfully over. Throughout this same season, they continue to develop Carmy and Syd's relationship, incorporating undeniable nods toward an eventual romance.

Then in season 3, they have Carmy dealing with the fallout of his painful fuckup, that ended a relationship that was, as I said, pretty serious, and was developed over the course of an entire season. They do this while continuing to develop Carmy and Syd's relationship, and while their interactions are mostly tense this season, they continue to incorporate blatant nods toward an eventual romance.

This is happening at the same time they have opened a restaurant, and Carmy is under enormous pressure, pressure that has been made worse by his breakup. Pressure to make the place a success, to live up to his potential, but also to make sure that Tina has an income, that he gives Marcus's mom what she wanted for Marcus, that Ebra, elderly and at the point where he really needs to be retiring, continues to have a job, that he doesn't endlessly waste his uncle's money, and crucially, so that the restaurant can earn that star Sydney is dreaming of, and that Carmy didn't even want.

And yet there are people genuinely criticizing The Bear for not canonizing SydCarmy this season, when...?

The man just went through a devastating breakup -

At the same time he opened a goddamn restaurant -

And is clearly going through the crisis of a lifetime -

And on top of that, he's just quit smoking.

Do you think, in real life, that it's realistic someone in that situation would immediately turn around and start seeing someone else? Do you think the writers would have spent a whole season developing Carmy's relationship with Claire, just for Carmy to shrug it off like it was nothing when it ends?

I'm even more baffled by the idea that SydCarmy not becoming canon this season is because the writers this whole time, have just been, what? Fucking with you? Straight-baiting you? Or do you think that just because they didn't canonize SydCarmy this season that this is indicative that they didn't intentionally allude to a future romance between Syd and Carmy?

I will tell you right now that The Bear is one of the most purposefully written shows I've ever seen. And while I will say that this season might be the weakest so far and wasn't what I was hoping for either - Nothing on that show is an accident. Nothing means nothing.

The writers of The Bear are too good to have accidentally implied SydCarmy was a thing. They are also far too dedicated to their vision for The Bear for them to be throwing things in just to fuck with you.

Have some patience maybe? When was the last time you watched a show that didn't hand you something the moment it was hinted at? Aren't you tired of watching shows that skip to the good part? Which is, as a result, not as good as it would have been?

[paranormal-taters]

Carmen Berzatto ranking extremely high on the list of characters that I adore and relate to does not affect the fact that I LOVE every single time Sydney tells him off for literally anything. Yeah girl get his ass.

[glitterslag]

Still laughing at how carmy decided to invite claire for a home cooked dinner cuz no one had ever cooked for her before and then he made spag bol 💀😭

[iglowlilac]

listen,

let's say you forgot something at work. maybe it's your pen. maybe it's a water bottle or, i don't know, your everyday scarf. maybe it's your little notebook. In either case, you forgot something at work, but it's that One Thing that pretty much makes you, you. a signature, in a way. it's as part of you as all of your bones; it's very you, like your dna, but made trivial. you don't even think about it like that, like it's something that holds that much significance to who you are.

but your boss does. 

your hot boss, the one that now gets on your nerves just in the same intensity you used to adore him. professionally speaking, of course. probably. you think (i mean: with your credentials, you could've been working somewhere waaaay better than... than whatever it is your boss has going on right now). he used to be your inspiration… but It doesn't matter anymore. it shouldn't matter anymore.

your boss... he's great at what he does. he is. no doubt about that. but maybe he's also a little bit too much sometimes. maybe he's a little bitch. a piece of shit, sometimes.

and maybe you're overworked and have been disappointed with him for months now. he's a mess, and at this point in your life, you should've been able to know fucking better. so, naturally, you decide to quit. 

your boss kept asking why: why were you quitting. but you tried to talk to him for too long now. and when you quit, you're angry and exhausted and feeling frustrated with life, really, so you leave that workplace in such a hurry that you end up forgetting your signature stuff in there. let's pretend (assume?) it's a little notebook, the one that's very you. you're always carrying it around with such a devotion, it could be your own heart. 

then again: you don't think about it like that. but your boss does. you don't think about retrieving this ordinary yet sacred little notebook (it's... whatever. you can get another one), but your boss finds it and, knowing very well it belongs to you, he caress its pages - the ones you've written out most of your creative ideas, the ones maybe you've drawn out, in sharpie, silly faces, when you were spacing out a little bit. 

your boss holds your little notebook with such a devotion… he can't take his eyes, his hands, off it. he knows he fucked up with you. he doesn't know how to fix it, tho (he knows he can admit to you he was in the wrong, of course. but how could he have you back? would you even be back? and why would you do that, when now, more than ever, it's pretty clear you deserve more than everything he's been offering to you, which is stress, for the most part).

he's sorry. like, really, really sorry. he's actually pretty sad you left, but because he's feeling shitty all the time, he doesn't even have the language to admit it or articulate this sadness just yet. for now, he's nothing more than a coward. he'll keep your notebook to himself. he'll never say a word about it.

[ambeauty]

One of my favorite media critics analyzes this scene so beautifully in their podcast breakdown of the show and I think about it all of the time!!!

“One of the most intimate scenes between a male/female characters that although it’s not overtly romantic, this scene essentially is the two characters professing their love for each other…”

This is me terribly paraphrasing! But the point still stands! How am I not supposed to ship them after that? HOW SWAY?! 😭🤧

[jenniesban]

Okay, season 3

I found it tiring and repetitive. didn't need 10 episodes. 8 was enough. just like previous seasons.  

Carmen in this maniac episode was almost insufferable to watch. Everybody on here was waiting for him to be down, but the writers could’ve done better, and Christopher Storer could’ve shown us better.

First of all, his relationship with Claire wasn't that deep. I know it's all in Carmy’s head, the way he visualizes her etc, and yes I have a high degree of myopia, but this was not shown in s2. It makes me mad watching this lack of commitment with his partner and sister in an opening business.

I care about Camy, and it’s so tragic that he can’t get out of this cycle of abuse. but I’m a human, and sometimes I really wanna beat him. I know he's trying, but this man needs to take his head off his ass asap. Showing his situation with one hundred flashbacks was monotonous to watch. 

About Sydney, I’m so mad how they wrote her this season. Are they gonna end this show without showing us a center episode of her??? this season was a perfect moment to develop ONE OF THE LEAD CHARACTER OF THE SHOW!!!

My girl was passing for so much and alone, but the writers were like, nah, let’s show bad comedy with the Faks instead. Put a woman to babysit Carmen and Richie, two grown-up men for the entire season, it’s insane. (she's so much better than me)

I love Sydney so much, and we know she would rather get a shot than talk about her private life with anyone, but I need her to fight. I need her to speak. The panic attack scene breaks my heart, I don't think is all carmy's fault. It was a mix of everything. Fear of the future, insecure about everything, thinking about her found family and the possibility of losing them, starting a new business all over again (when she spoke on s2 that she didn't have in her to try again), fear of failure again. But I wish they had shown it better from her pov. They should have improved this part. 

I ended this season with a bitter feeling. It’s not a good writing job to have ten episodes of preparation to be resolved in the future. 

(And since Christopher Storer likes Taylor Swift so much, he should take all this hate train and enter his reputation era, and give us a better script in s4. #i think the bear is gonna finish in s4, so lets be productive and finish the show in a good way. please, all this with Joana Calo by his side, let her write!)

I loved Tina’s episode (thank god Ayo directed the best one), ice chips were insanely good. Abby Elliott and Jaime Lee Curtis!!!!!111!1 and the first episode was so well edited and directed. i love those actors very much so, they are so talented.

[donetbhlmao]

while I agree that the cast and writers of the bear play way too much in our faces about sydcarmy, it honestly blows my mind how a good number of viewers don’t stop to savor the EXPLICITLY romantic storytelling beats between these two:

- the bear, the SHOW, starts the day Sydney comes to the restaurant. Not the day carmy comes back. The day SYDNEY appears to stage.

- the many many many MANY MANY parallels between the two. After s3 there’s too many to list here, but oh boy…

- the beat that the camera takes after syd asks “who’s Claire?” when nat first brings her up. That beat is meant to portend something bad (aka one of syd’s main conflicts in the season with getting carmy’s full focus).

- the music. Oohhhhhh god the music. I’ll tell ya, there’s tons of songs about friendship and family or whatever. They’re not using those songs for Carmen and Sydney.

- the red dish of fate that connects the two???? The fact that carmy couldn’t bear to send out another dish the way he was told to and send out what HE thinks is right? AND IT’S SYDNEY’S FAVORITE MEAL? bye

- the fact that sydney literally brings him down from a panic attack, TWICE. carmy is spiraling and the thought of claire is making it worse (and strange currencies is playing in reverse and chopped up) but the THOUGHT of Sydney is enough to bring him back (and strange currencies plays correctly)?? I’m so sorry but that’s some shojo manga-level shit. the contrast between the trauma of his past (his family, and Claire being connected to that), and the golden promise of his future (Sydney). It’s almost unbearably romantic.

- them talking quietly under the table with Pearl Jam’s “come back” playing in the background. if I think about this one too long I’ll combust.

- the fact that carm has (unconsciously) made his dish look like Sydney’s scarf in s3 e9????? like she is his MUSE you all can stay mad abt it.

my position has always been that the actual storytelling has always been romantic for these two. It’s in a subtler than what’s on other tv shows, sure. you can’t deny that there is TONS of platonic love on the bear. Sydney and carmy’s bond stands out simply because it’s presented differently from those examples of platonic love.

And this isn’t even an exhaustive list!!!!!! The bear writers I’m in your WALLS!!!!

[yannaryartside]

Storer managed to use the disposable black girlfriend without them even dating.

At least that what he is proposing in some elements in his narrative. And until the twist comes is fair to judge him by it.

Even if sydcarmy is endgame. atp mostly because Claire still manages to be sus. Because the sydcarmy relationship is still the most genuine thing in the show. Platonic or not.

But I was on of the people that said that they didn’t see a point of sydcarmy not being endgame if Sydney was going to be in love with Carmy trough the whole show.

If they don’t end up together, was this just all a commentary of how insecure people with difficulty to trust tend to fall in love with unreliable people? There is a whole psychological element there that is kinda true but still.

Did they plan to use the most caring character in the show to have a lesson of feminism and “choosing yourself” while also letting her suffer from that love while her true desires are not even treated with respect? Does Carm never gets to know that she loved him? Are we supposed to be happy that she is now in pro of the white girl that has bested her? That is greater for him thatn her after all the ways Syd has cared for Carmen?

This show composed a whole love song “blowing kisses to you” as her motivations to put her own dreams aside and staying with him. If anything, you have managed to make me believe that Sydney loves Carmy in a most selfless way that Claire ever did. Her love is the most “pure” because she is apparently now okay with it not ever being reciprocated. The love of this black woman is only useful to the show as a sacrifice.

Fuck Storer. Fuck all the people involved in this desicion

Getting over unreciprocated love is a thing. What this show did is just fucking disgusting.

[moviecritc]

✦ ˚ : · NOBODY'S DAUGHTER · : ˚ ✦

pairing ☆ batsis!reader x dick grayson (platonic), roy harper x reader (implied relationship)

word count ☆ 2.8K

summary ☆ after holding all your feelings, you finally confront your brother about everything he has done to your life after jason's funeral.

warnings ☆ AU where Dick knew Jason had died and didn't attend to the funeral deliberately, kinda neglected batsis, you are blood related to Jason (and look like him physically) you are part of the Titans, I probably made some things up, let's just vibe with it. Also this is pure angst, absolutely none comfort, mentions of death, funerals, cigarettes

a/n ☆ i got super inspired by seeing the ending of season 4 of The Bear, when Carmy says that he leaves the restaurant and Richie and Syd crash out. Also if you guys like it MAYBE i do a part two

main masterlist | letterboxd

"What do you mean you're leaving?" Roy raised his voice louder than you could handle, and you flailed your hands in frustration.

You were in the roof of Titans Tower while everyone else argued inside over which movie to watch on your first free night in weeks. You and Roy had stepped out for a smoke. At first, it was just that, now you were caught in a fight you didn’t know how to get out of.

"Exactly that," you shrugged with a grimace. "I'm leaving."

"Why?"

Roy’s jaw was tight, and he was smoking faster than usual.

You’d lost track of how long you’d been on the team, but Roy had been by your side from the very beginning. He knew Jason almost as well as you did, and he’d never treated you differently after the incident. The two of you had become friends in a strange, roundabout way, and now he was the person you cared about most on the team. He'd spend hours in your room when you didn’t feel like going out with the rest, always managing to convince you in the end, because he’d be there, and everything was a thousand times better when he was. You couldn’t bring yourself to say you loved him. No one knew. But you did.

"Because I don’t know how to do anything else," you snapped, sniffing and taking a cigarette from the pack in Roy’s hand. You pulled your lighter from your pocket and struggled with it for a moment until the wind finally cooperated.

Roy sighed, pulling off his cap and running a hand through his bright orange hair.

"What the hell does that even mean?" he asked, pleading.

Roy thought he knew you. He knew you were weird (in the best way), that you had hundreds of issues you’d never talked about and that your social skills were practically non-existent. But you’d let him in. You’d shown him a piece of what went on inside your head, and he’d embraced it, kissed the scar. But now he didn’t understand anything you were doing.

"I’ve spent too long fighting knock-off villains, burying my thoughts in punches, ignoring how bad I really am," you swallowed. "How broken it left me."

"Then talk to me," he reached out a little, and you stepped back. "Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me how bad it is. You don’t have to hide."

"It’s not that simple, Roy." you bit the inside of your cheek, watching the ash fall onto your shoe.

Roy clicked his tongue and looked away. You felt cold, like a terrible person, dragging him into this unnecessary fight.

"Nothing’s simple with you." he muttered tensely.

"I don’t know how to do anything else, okay? I don’t know how to live outside of this chaotic mess."

Roy frowned, took one last drag, and flicked the cigarette to the ground, crushing it underfoot. He didn’t say anything. Just stared at you like he could force you to stay with his eyes. Like if he stared hard enough, leaving would hurt more than staying. But he didn’t understand, it already hurt.

"And walking away from everything’s gonna fix it?" he finally asked. His voice was lower now, more controlled. It cut through you. Like it hurt him to even ask. Like he was reluctantly accepting he had no say in your choice. "What the hell are you gonna tell Dick?"

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, not daring to lift your head all the way.

"Dick only let me on the team out of pity."

"Pity?" Roy let out a bitter laugh. "Are you listening to yourself? You see yourself as a victim. You think we all see you that way, like someone who needs fixing. But that’s not true… I don’t see you that way, dammit. And- and you belong here. Donna and Kory adore you..."

"I don’t even know what I’m trying to fix anymore," you said quietly. "Jason’s dead. Bruce only talks to me through Dick. And I’m giving whatever I’ve got left, and no one sees that there’s barely anything left."

You tried not to hold it against Bruce, how he wouldn’t talk to you. How he couldn’t look you in the eye. Everyone said your eyes looked like Jason’s. Same look, same nose, same stance. Even your voices were alike.

Roy shook his head, fast, frustrated.

"You’re not Jason" he said, voice trembling with pent-up rage. "You’re not your brother. No one expects you to be."

You hugged your arms around yourself, like that might keep everything in. The need to cry, the need to scream that you knew that, but it killed you to live in the spaces Jason had left behind.

"I’m not trying to be. No one left me another choice."

Roy stepped closer, jaw clenched and brow furrowed.

"I don’t believe you. Not after everything you’ve done, everything you’ve fought for- for others, for yourself. You can’t say no one gave you a choice when you’ve always had one: to stay. To keep going. To speak up."

"For what? So I can keep being the shadow of someone who’s not here anymore?"

"You’re not a shadow!"

Roy grabbed your wrists, gently but firmly, forcing you to lift your head. To look at him. To stop hiding behind that tiny voice you only used when you were about to break.

"What if I don’t know who I am without him?" you confessed. And it felt like you’d ripped something out of your chest with your bare hands.

Roy looked at you like he wanted to say a thousand things at once. Like it hurt not being able to piece your heart back together himself.

One tear fell down your cheek. "I hate being here, Roy. I hate having to follow Dick’s orders, I hate that he won’t let me kill the Joker, I hate that he calls me his sister in front of everyone and ignores me every time we’re alone."

Roy let go like your words burned him. He stepped back, hands in his hair, frowning.

"So what, you’re running away because Dick’s a self-righteous asshole? Surprise!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms up. "We all hate him sometimes, but that doesn’t give you the right to quit. To leave us."

"I’m not leaving you," you snapped, hurt. "I’m saving myself."

"From what?" he roared, wounded. "From us? From me?"

"From myself!" you screamed back, shaking. "From this version of me that drags herself through the halls waiting for someone to tell her she’s not completely broken! I’m sick of living with Jason’s ghost and pretending I’m okay just because I have the same damn last name!"

Roy was about to reply when the rooftop door burst open. Dick stepped out with a calm smile, unaware of everything.

"Hey, we’re waiting on you guys," he said, pressing his lips together. He looked at you first, your trembling lip and a tear on your cheek, then at Roy, already on his third cigarette, not looking at either of you. "Everything alright?"

You didn’t try to answer.

"She’s leaving." Roy said, nodding at you.

You sighed and finally lifted your head.

"What? You’re what?" Dick asked again, hand on his hip.

"I’m leaving, Dick. I’m done. Don’t ask again like you didn’t hear me." you snapped, voice broken but firm.

Dick blinked, unmoving. That damn Nightwing face again, like nothing could affect him. Like it was just another mission. Like you were just another mission.

"And this decision… you made it on your own?"

"I don’t need your approval to make decisions, Dick."

"That’s not it," he replied, sharp. "It’s just, when you’re part of a team, those decisions affect others. You’re part of this team. I thought you knew that."

"Me? Part of the team? Do you even know what being part of something means, Dick? Or do you just know how to lead it?"

It hit him. You saw it. A subtle flinch, like he didn’t expect that from you, of all people.

"I don’t know what the hell you want me to say," he muttered, low but sharp. "That I should beg you to stay? Hug it out and lie that everything’s going to be fine? Because I’m not that guy."

"I know," you whispered. "That’s why I’m leaving."

Roy lowered his head. Dick huffed through his nose and took a step closer.

"You can’t just walk away. Not without talking it through. Not without- without explaining. You don’t get to break something just because you’re broken."

"And what the hell do you know about what I’m breaking?" you said through clenched teeth. "You weren’t there when Jason died. Not for me. You went around telling everyone you’d look after me like a brother. All you did was keep me at arm’s length like I was about to explode."

"Because I didn’t know how to help you without breaking myself too!" Dick suddenly yelled, and Roy flinched at the outburst.

Silence.

The wind whispered around the rooftop, and the murmurs from inside the Tower felt like they came from another planet.

"I lost him too," Dick continued, quieter, jaw clenched. "And I barely held it together. All I knew how to do was lead. Give orders. Keep going. And you… you reminded me of everything I couldn’t protect. And I couldn’t look at you without feeling like I failed him."

"You did," you said softly. "You failed me too."

Dick nodded once. Slow. Pained.

"I know."

You crossed your arms, trembling. Wanting to stop this conversation but unable to.

Dick walked over to Roy, grabbed the cigarette pack and took one.

"What the hell, Dick?" Roy blinked. "You don’t smoke."

"I know," he muttered, cigarette between his lips, fingers fumbling with the lighter. "Fuck."

He gave them back to Roy, eyes down. Silence returned. Roy looked between you and Dick, trying to understand. You stared at the ground, dirty sneakers, crushed cigarette butts, nail marks on your arms.

"I went to the funeral."

You swore your heart stopped. You remembered the day—five people had attended Jason’s funeral. Six, if you counted the preacher. And Dick hadn’t been one of them. You’d never talked about it, but you held a grudge after Barbara told you Dick hadn’t gone because he couldn’t bear it. Because the loss felt too heavy.

You never thought you could hate someone more than you did after that talk with Babs. Until now. Dick kept proving he could crush every expectation.

"You’re a fucking liar, Dick Grayson." you stepped closer, grabbing his shirt, pulling him so your foreheads touched. "You should’ve been in that warehouse instead of Jason."

Roy took a step forward, alarmed, but didn’t intervene. Not yet.

Dick didn’t move. Didn’t push you. Just looked you in the eyes, lips trembling, your rage clinging to his skin like static.

"Say it again," he whispered. "Say it if it helps. If it makes you feel better."

"It doesn’t help at all!" you broke. Rage poured from your eyes, hands, voice. You pushed his chest with both hands, not hard, just desperate.

"I sat in the car," Dick muttered. "I couldn’t bring myself to go in."

"Oh, poor little Dickie, couldn’t say goodbye to someone who wasn’t even his fucking brother!" your voice rose with every word. "If I could do it, if I could watch my little brother be buried six feet under, so could you, you fucker!"

You pushed him again, fighting your tears.

"You’re a coward," you hissed.

Dick didn’t react. Didn’t deny it. Didn’t defend himself. He just stood there, taking it like a bullet to the chest. Closed his eyes for a second, like it hurt physically.

"You’re the one walking away." he said, looking down at you.

"Dick." Roy finally intervened, stepping forward. But before he could say more, you slapped Dick across the face.

He didn’t react at first. His head turned slightly with the hit, hair falling in his eyes. His expression tight, like the pain wasn’t physical but something deeper. He looked at you, not angry, not hateful. Like you were a shattered reflection.

"Don’t talk to me like you have the moral high ground of having buried him," he said at last, voice broken and trembling. "You don’t own pain."

That hurt worse than any shout, any accusation. Roy stared at the ground like this was killing him. Like he was witnessing something too intimate.

You took a step back, chest heaving like you’d run for miles. Your knuckles burned. Your eyes threatened to spill over again, but you wouldn’t cry, not in front of him.

"I don’t hate you." you said suddenly, surprising even yourself.

Dick looked up, confused.

"I wish I could," you continued, eyes on your hands. "I wish blaming you was enough to make me leave. But it’s not. Because if I hate you, I’d have to hate myself. And I already do enough of that."

Roy let out a shaky breath, half frustration, half fear.

"Then don’t go." he murmured, barely audible.

"I have nothing left here, Roy."

"You have me."

The silence that followed wasn’t tense. It was dense. Like the world paused to see if you’d answer.

"And that’s the only thing that hurts to leave," you whispered at last, more a confession than goodbye.

Roy pulled you into his arms without asking. You didn’t say anything. Just closed your eyes and let him hold you, knowing it was the last time.

Dick watched silently, fists clenched at his sides. He couldn’t do anything more. He shouldn’t. He’d lost that right long ago.

"When you leave," he said from where he stood, "just promise me you’re doing more than running away."

You pulled back slightly from Roy, just enough to look over your shoulder at Dick.

"I’m not running. I’m finding a way to live that doesn’t kill me inside."

Dick nodded. No anger, just exhaustion.

"Then good luck."

Roy lifted his head from your shoulder, looking into your eyes. He leaned in and pressed his lips to your forehead. You froze for a second, eyes closed, feeling that unmistakable gesture, so him, so full of warmth in the middle of this chaos. When he pulled away, you clung to him tighter, like he was your anchor.

"I won’t forget you," Roy whispered, like a vow. "And you won’t forget me."

You didn’t know what to say. Your voice was caught in your throat. You brushed your lips against his, tenderly.

Dick turned away, still standing tall, but softer now.

"If you leave, hold your head high," he said firmly, trying not to sound wounded. "No one here wants you to disappear, even if it feels that way."

Roy nodded, his hand still resting on your back, steady.

"And if you lose your way again… we’ll be here."

Silence settled again, gentler this time. The tears wanted out, but you held them back.

"Thank you," was all you could say.

[mswyrr]

One of the things I really respect about the writing on Murderbot is that a powerful, life changing friendship is being written, performed, and visually depicted *as a friendship*. They're finding ways to communicate it visually and in dialogue and actions that are specific to them and about friendship - like the shared breathing scene? That was fresh and lovely. Conveying deep platonic intimacy and connection without romantic tropes or other things that don't fit them like being touchy-feely.

So many shows actually use romance tropes in their canon friendships and then get mad when that confuses audiences. And audiences who have little knowledge of and no respect for love stories hop in on the insults and gaslighting.

For example? This? Is fucking romantic (skip to timestamp 1:36)

The way everything falls away and it's just the two of them, dreaming together and committing to each other, and the slow pan in on the wonder and joy on his face? As he gazes at her, and she gazes back?

That's drawing its power from romantic visual tropes! That's depicting Sydney's return as about their union as two people - not an ensemble thing.

You can have someone gaze with deep feeling without doing the romantic slow pan in on their face! I know this. Murderbot did it with Mensah just last episode.

And compare that scene from The Bear (where the whole cast is present but everyone else fades away as Syd and Carmy gaze into each other) to this spoiler image from later on in Murderbot:

This is an entire group (each with their own journeys and unique bonds with each other) made part of this gesture of love and belonging - the visual framing is perfect. Murderbot and all of them positioned to indicate dynamics and levels of investment in their friendships - it will always have a uniquely deep bond with one human, Mensah, which is why she is positioned where she is, but it's not romantic or exclusive. And the visual storytelling actually is saying that!

[fairestbeard]

Addendum 2: other random sex jokes

+Notes on sex

Read the main article.

1) The white board

- Dildo being on the least of things to buy

- Toilet called Latriana

- Fak owing 69$ with "he sucks" pointing to it. 69 is an oral sex position.

- Stick man with spread apart arse hole labelled Fak.

I'll also like to add that we only see this full display of the white board/sus signs in Syd and Carmy's scenes only.

2) Ball Breaker top player list

3) More squirt jokes memes on the internet

4) Dom/sub Richie and Fak

5) Richie and Fak: horny mirroring of Sydcarmy

6) Syd spying Carmy's ass for no reason at all.

7) The Bear team really got jokes

Behind Syd's head is two zeroes, decimals from a larger sum but in this framing only the last zeroes are showing, so they look like eyes. There's an arrow linking two of them with the message fucku, with the u fainter than the fuck. So it could be read just as "fuck".

In this scene Carmy is sitting below Sydney, putting their eyes in different positions, high and low so,

00

00

The camera also films Syd mostly from below and Carmy from above indicating their point of view and how they're seeing each other.

Yes, this is a stretch. Yes, it most likely just a coincidence. But just imagine if it wasn't. And I'm telling you, there's at least half a chance that it wasn't.

_______________________

Notes on resistance to sex in The Bear

There has been much ado about whether there should be sex incorporated (in canon terms) in The Bear, with a lot of unusually strong voices passionately stating their aversion to the idea, especially between Carmy and Syd.

Many arguments have ranged from

"it's not a show about sex",

"Syd and Carmy's relationship is too beautiful and sex will ruin it"

"romance will cheapen the storyline and make the show basic".

I've heard people say "I ship Carmy with therapy" as if mentally ill people don't deserve a chance at love. Or that Syd has to be a lesbian/aroace, because she just has to be, even though she has never indicated in any form her sexuality yet. Many have said how the characters are sexier if they are actually sexless. Like a blank slate they can project their own fantasies on without the fear of the canon.

Another opinion is that it could be hinted that it's happening, but actually showing it would "ruin the vibes" and blah blah blah.

Most of these opinions sre led by racism/misogynoir and certain viewers being uncomfortable with the idea of a very unambiguous, unapologetically black character being paired with the white male lead. Because it shakes that image and perception of women like this being lower on the attraction scale in society (even though Syd (and Ayo indeed) is absolutely stunning).

Another reason for this strong resistance is... well... still racism/misogynoir but more insidious. It's the kind overlayed by the modernized Madonna/whore complex.

Now this complex in on a very long spectrum (and I won't go to deep into explaining this subject, you can find various articles on it) but on the lower end, it is often not very glaring and can be well hidden under the guise of caring too much about the character(s).

For the ones who want a completely sexless character(s), the reasoning often being that the characters are way too complex and well rounded to bother with another sexual layer, mostly directed at Sydney. This is classic madonna-ism.

And it is objectification!

The idea that a character being portrayed as a sexual being among other things ie, truly multidimensional, is a subtraction to that character is doing the exact thing you claim to seek not to do.

The next is the group who think Carmy and Syd's relationship is too special to be "tainted" by sex. The "has to be platonic" group. They describe it as some kind of pure, sacred thing in its complexity and intricacy and so it has to remain puritanically pedestalized and untouched by carnality.

“Where such men love, they have no desire, and where they desire, they cannot love.”

This is a quote from Freud himself describing the Madonna/whore complex. The pure woman is not supposed to be seen sexually as her value is depends on her "virtuousness" so the man who loves her must not desire her that way but must direct such desires away to the whore/mistress.

It is an iteration of this idea that is being placed on Syd and Carmy. A lot of this group don't have a problem with the characters having sex, just absolutely NOT with each other, so they'll have just anybody else play love interests to them. Anybody, no matter how bland or one dimentional. In this version of the Madonna/whore complex, Claire is fine to be the "whore", ie, the object of lust for Carmy - except in this case, it doesn't diminish her in any way. It, infact, raises her value to most viewers or at least it stays the same. But Syd for some weird reason stands to be devalued if she is an object of lust by the same man. A lot have verbally displayed disgust, on their behalf, at the idea of the possibility that these two adults from completely different backgrounds and histories, who hardly even know each other all that much yet, could be attracted to each other. Some have even described it as some form of incest. Wild.

And don't get me wrong, platonic relationships are absolutely beautiful and there's nothing wrong with two people having a deep, complex and intricate platonic connection. It's also ok if that deep, complex and intricate connection is also romantic/sexual. Sex does not degrade, diminish or defect.

The fact that the show, characters and relationships are so complex and nuanced doesn't close off room for them to also be portrayed as sexual beings. That's just a cop out. In fact the reason we relate with the characters and the show so much is because of how close they are to real life.

And in real life, sometimes...a lot of times...we fuck!

And that is not just ok but actually a beautiful thing.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

One of my favorite scenes, big reason, is Sydney opening up and Carmy experiencing pain for Sydney.

But another thing the scene points out is they these two are not platonic. If they are the type of friends that epitomize a platonic relationship with a work family that feels closer than a family, he would know this about Sydney. Yet, he doesn’t. Syd still holds back when it comes to Carmy.

To be fair, she held back about her mom with Marcus too. But now that it’s clear that Marcus and Sydney have a platonic relationship, there’s an ease in their getting to know one another. Currently, based on what the show has presented, we see Carmy trying to get to know Sydney, who remains reserved about her mother until she can't find a way to put her guard up.

That's the dance with these two Sydney puts her guard up Carmy tries to get to know her- how is that friendship or how is that even what Donna says in season 4? That they're closer than family family?

Maybe because we are just getting started next season on Sydney and Carmy becoming closer?

But really Why is it so difficult for them to hang out and party together? Why is Carmy so hurt by the realization that in not focusing on the restaurant, he's missing out on knowinh Sydney? If it's really about friendship, why are there so many barriers preventing it from developing?

Why is there jealousy? Distrust? The longing to trust and open up instead of just doing it? Why is it so difficult for Carmy and Sydney to talk about their deceased loved ones, unlike the conversations that Natalie and Richie have, or the ones Ebra and Tina share?

Why is it so difficult for Sydney and Carmy to have a conversation like Tina and Marcus did in season 3, episode 9, where they can truly check in with each other and exchange ideas?

It's not platonic, and as of now, I have nothing to show that for Sydney work, family - Carmy is closer to her than family.

[outmakingmoonshine]

The hug was awkward and he didn't even look at her but:

his hand on her waist 😭 then immediately he finds her waist again to guide her to their table

And he keeps it there as he introduces her to the table of his peers as "Chef Sydney", something they'll all know is used as a sign of respect. He's immediately letting them know he respects her in the kitchen and she's gets their world, she's one of them

And it's still there...they've stopped at the table now, he's not guiding her anymore but his hand's still just resting on her waist while he stops to casually wave to a work friend??? He only lets Syd go right before he introduces her to Luca.

Why does this look and feel like a man proudly introducing his gf/wife to all his work friends?!! It's so domestic!

This was an unnecessary amount of time to keep his hand on his "platonic" business partner tbh and it reminds me of the signals men subtly give each other in situations like this to make it clear the person is his, she's with him "like that" so no one else should try anything with her. Very selfish of him tbh but he's also very much in love with her and unable to help himself.

Not to mention, other than Evil Chef, that table/room is probably full of the majority of people he knows, spent time with and has respect for outside of his family, everyone connected to his past etc and he asked, no INSISTED, Sydney came with him to meet them all 😭😭

I think he wanted Syd to come as moral support bc he knew EC would be there. When Syd said everyone will be there Carmy was like "Yeah, everyone 😐" like he was thinking of seeing EC again. The next thing he says is Syd should come. Then she said no and insisted, he even cracked a small chuckle as it became like he was asking her out. And saying what sounds like much more than it seems on the surface:

"Syd, it's forEver."

"Yeah I know."

"So what are you talking about? You should come"

"Okay."

"Good."

"Good."

The way Jeremy delivered that dialogue gives me the same vibes as "Family style? Two tops? Booths?". He's saying one thing but asking her a whole other thing in the unspoken language they share.

[ambeauty]

a few thoughts on the different types of romantic love in the bear

One facet of the show that I feel like is incredibly poignant is the emotional realism. I think I read another post or podcast about "emotional realism" in the bear so I will be borrowing that to talk about emotional realism when it comes to romantic partnerships in the show.

I feel like a lot of people wanted Sydney and Carmy to be this magical soulmate pairing that faced no opposition, trials, or tribulations on their journey to love and let me be the one to tell you right now. That's just not realistic. So in order to showcase how the show portrays different versions of romantic love, I wanted to focus on some couples that are not so triggering when it comes to the idea of romantic partnership within the context of the show.

Natalie x Pete: Natalie and Pete are the epitome and pinnacle of romantic love in the show. BUT, and STRONG BUT, they are not without their challenges. Natalie's family for the most part do not like Pete. They tolerate him, now, but for the longest time and to this day, they talk shit about him, because he's not like them. He's an outsider who has a different way of loving, and they don't understand it. Should Pete have left Natalie because her family didn't accept him?

Natalie's traumatic childhood still makes her feel insecure about her relationship. Plus she has a lot of generational trauma that she is working through to not pass down these things to her daughter. Should Pete leave her because she's insecure and traumatized?

You would answer no.

Richie x Tiff:

Richie and Tiff are divorced but they are still deeply interconnected because of Eva. You know that there is still a deep love between them because of the conversation on the bench. Tiffany wants Richie at her wedding because that's her family. Not to embarrass him or make him feel bad, but because she still has a deep love for him as a person. I get the sense that they didn't work out because it took him well into his adult life to figure out what he really wanted to do. Sometimes love isn't enough, especially when a child is involved. Tiffany and Eva deserve stability and at the time Richie wasn't able to provide it for YEARS. So I don't blame Tiff for leaving, but if Richie was in a better place, I know she would've stayed.

Just because you aren't with someone anymore doesn't mean that their importance to your life and the love you have for them just goes away.

Tina x Mr. Marrero

We don't get to spend a lot of time with them but we get to see such a beautiful dynamic between Tina and her husband. Now that they've been given it to me I need more. Tina and her husband are doing their very best to take care of their son and live a content life. They aren't rich but they've created a warm and comforting environment that is built on the foundation of their love. When Tina loses her job, it shakes up everything. Mr. Marrero is focused on his duty to take care of the household on his modest income. And Tina is so independent and knows that they need her income in order to survive. Her husband supports her through this transition even if it's stress on him and her. They work as team to get through this life change. Should he have left Tina the moment she became frustrated with finding employment? Should Tina have left him because his income alone wasn't enough to sustain them?

Again the answer is no.

The emotional realism of the bear shows that relationships of any kind are never perfect and never without challenges. Familial, platonic, or romantic. Sydney and Carmen are no different. While I support whatever decision Sydney makes, I do believe that what they are going through is their biggest trial yet. Syd and Carmy have failed to communicate in a healthy way for 3 seasons. And once these miscommunications finally bubble over it's going to be catastrophic. In one way or another. Who knows? At the end of the day what's important is that they do learn how to communicate because whether they stay business partners or become more or less, there will be obstacles that they will need to work through and grow from together.

"What grows together goes together."

thank you @thoughtfulchaos773 for encouraging me to expand on this

[laryssamedeirss]

I would never want to be either Carmy and Syd cause imagine being only platonic to someone who fits you perfectly in every way possible and knowing that no one else will ever level up to that