#switch!janus

[oliviaischillin1204]

tickletober day 18- "tickle fight"

word count: 4,509 words

welcome to day 18 my friends!! this is a recursive fic (meaning a fic based on another fic) so i've gone ahead and linked the original story under the cut- you def don't have to read the og fic before this one, although i do recommend it bc i love it to absolute death and it's soooo cute jdfgdhj. also please don't @ the author abt this fic, just be respectful please, thank youuuu!

Once upon a time a very silly thing happened, and now all of the Sides were friends again. If that seems like an oversimplification, well, Patton sometimes felt that way too.

Of course, nothing about that whole situation- Roman, Remus, Virgil, and Janus being turned into children, with Logan and Patton having to take on the role of parents as they desperately tried to make everything go back to normal- had felt simple in the slightest while it was actually happening. But now that it was all over, after so many confessions, secrets, and long-overdue apologies had been shared, it was honestly surprising how easily the six of them had gotten used to acting like a family.

For example, tonight they were all sitting together on their absolutely massive couch, which was just big enough for all six of them to sit side-by-side with only minor squeezing (which none of them really minded, hence why no one had suggested they get a bigger couch yet). Roman and Remus had worked together to create it-- it was kinda cute, how much they now tried to collaborate on even the most minor of creations.

A movie was on the TV, but honestly, none of them were paying attention to it. Roman and Virgil were holding hands and murmuring lowly to each other, giving each other soft, shy looks as if they were completely alone; Janus and Remus were attempting to throw popcorn into each others mouths, too busy laughing to even notice how loud they were being; and Patton and Logan, each sitting on opposite ends of the couch, were overlooking the entire soft scene with unbelievable fondness.

Every now and then they would catch each other's eyes over the heads of the children-- the other Sides! Not children!-- and smile, tired and fondly exasperated at the others' antics. It was funny how comfortable and familiar the new dynamics around the Mind Palace already were; with Logan by his side, and the others all getting along for the first time in a very long while, Patton felt like this was exactly how things were meant to be.

Suddenly there was a small noise of confusion right next to him. He turned to find Remus holding a popcorn kernel in his hand.

"Uh, ex-cuse me," he said, leaning forward and holding the kernel up threateningly. "Which one of you nerdy prince wannabes threw this at me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Roman replied in a haughty voice. "Did you find that distracting? Having someone throw something at your head while you're trying to enjoy a movie?"

Remus cackled. "I didn't throw a darn thing at you, brother mine. I would never." He finished his sentence with a sickly sweetness, batting his eyelashes.

"Oh, so it wasn't you? What about all of this?" Roman gestured to the blanket he and Virgil had been sharing, which was now covered in popcorn crumbs and kernels.

Remus shrugged, grabbing another handful and popping it in his mouth cheerfully. "Don't know what to tell you, Princey. Maybe Pop-Goes-The-Emo needs to learn how to eat without making a mess."

"Maybe you need to learn how to aim," Virgil shot back. "I don't see how you keep missing Janus' mouth, considering how big it is-"

"Excuse me?" Janus replied, jostling Virgil with his elbow. "Why am I getting dragged into this now? I did nothing wrong."

"You started it!"

"No, Remus started it."

"I knew it!"

"Oh, bite me, you-"

"That's enough, now," Logan interjected, just as Patton was opening his mouth to do the same. A moment of worry seemed to pass over the four Sides causing mischief, but luckily Logan softened his tone and his expression as he continued, "I suspect that this is all in good fun, but I would like to check if anyone is upset about anything that's been said. We can easily pause the film if anyone wants to discuss any crossed boundaries with the jokes."

Virgil wiggled a little on the couch. "Aw, come on, Logan..."

"Oh, I'm sorry, does talking about feelings embarrass you?" Logan replied, making Patton bite his lip to avoid snickering. "Because I think it's rather more important that everyone here feels loved and respected."

Janus scoffed and fiddled with his pajama set. "Of course, because we're so good at respecting one another."

"We do respect you," Patton replied, making Janus flush from the earnestness. "I know that after everything we've been through, we all respect each other, even if showing that respect is a work in progress. But the one thing that never changes is how much we love each other. I love you all so much!"

"Thank you, Patton," Roman droned; he too looked a little embarrassed, but his voice was good-natured. "And I apologize for anything I've said here that was uncouth. It was all intended in good fun."

"Same," Virgil said. "Sorry, Jan. About the thing I said about your mouth."

"Well, I suppose if I must accept your apology..." Janus replied. Logan fixed him with a stern look, and he huffed. "Yes, of course, you're forgiven, Virgil. And I'm sorry as well. Even though I literally don't think I did anything wrong."

"Sorry for being so silly! Can't help it!" Remus chirped. "Don't need any apologies, though. None of this actually pissed me off or anything."

"That's good," Logan replied. "Because you are definitely cleaning up your popcorn mess after the movie is over."

Remus gaped as the others burst into laughter. His lips turned into a dangerous pout, flopping back into the sofa and crossing his arms.

"Aw, come on, Remus," Patton chimed in. "I'll even help you do it! We'll get it all cleaned up in a jiffy!"

"Blah, blah, blah," he muttered, looking for all the world like a toddler put in time out.

It was all on instinct, really; Patton saw a grumpy child, and he knew what to do to fix it.

Before he could stop himself, Patton's hand made a claw shape and he vibrated his fingers directly into Remus' side.

The result was immediate, and extremely loud-- Remus shrieked, launching forward in an involuntary attempt to get away from Patton's squeezing hand. He tumbled forward and landed on the ground, scurrying backwards as he panted from the shock.

"Jesus fucking Christ and all his dick-ciples, Patton, why?" he asked, voice high and shrieky.

Patton was very aware of how all of the Sides were looking at them-- both in shock at Remus' outburst of laughter, and to see how Patton would react to his language-- but Patton didn't care. Something warm and familiar was rising in his chest, and he smiled lovingly down at Remus.

"What, you think I don't remember how to cheer you up?"

There was a beat, and then everyone else had a brief moment of fond embarrassment as they realized what Patton was talking about. They didn't talk about it much, about how Patton and Logan had taken care of them all when they had magically transformed into children, but it was never forgotten, even though the rest of the Sides (including Logan) still found the whole experience a bit awkward.

Patton turned to the others on the couch, his smile growing as they squirmed. "Come on, don't you all remember?"

He had only meant to keep teasing them, but at that moment Virgil's eyes widened to the size of quarters, and without further ado he shot up from the couch as well, jostling Janus at the same time and making the snake Side fall against Patton.

"No, I know that look, and I'm not doing this," Virgil insisted as he stepped to the other side of the room. But his eyes were bright, his cheeks were getting flushed, and there was a smile on his face that was obviously becoming harder to hide.

Patton bit his lip. "Oh, you don't wanna do this? That's alright-- what about you, Janny?"

And with that, Patton reached down and grabbed Janus as best as he could around the waist, curling him into the crook of his arm and mercilessly tickling his stomach with one hand.

"Wait wait wa-ait!" Janus gasped, hands shooting down in a desperate attempt to pry Patton's away from him. "Nnnno, Patton, this is ridiculoussss ahahahahaha! Nohohoho!"

"Aw, Janus remembers!" Patton cheered. A nervous giggle forced its way out of Remus' mouth, still on the floor as he watched his boyfriend getting tickled. Roman narrowed his eyes.

"Look what you've started," he accused, pointing a finger at his brother. "Patton's never gonna let go of this now!"

"Oh, piss off, Pissy!" Remus snapped back, a manic smirk on his face. "You started it, throwing popcorn at my head!"

"You're right," Roman said. "I should've thrown the bowl."

Remus gasped, affronted, and before he could stop himself he reached out to grab Roman's ankle with one hand, his other hand clawing down the sole of Roman's foot with reckless abandon.

Roman made a noise in between a gasp and a squawk. "No!"

He yanked his foot back, but miscalculated, and suddenly he felt rather than heard Logan's breath get knocked out of him as Roman's knee collided with the logical side's chest. Roman flushed a little; he didn't realize he'd been leaning so far into Logan's side.

"Sorry, Logan--!" His voice was cut off with a small squeak by Logan suddenly wrapping his hands around Roman's calf, holding his leg in place.

"Where are your manners, Roman?" he asked. His face looked normal, but his voice was laced with something that made Roman want to giggle just hearing it. "I believe you owe me an apology."

"I already di-ihihhid!" Poor Roman couldn't even finish his sentence before Logan started squeezing all over his trapped leg, from the back of his calf to just above his knee to the soft squishy parts of his thigh. Now both his and Janus' laughter filled the room, along with Remus' delighted giggles as he watched from the floor. Virgil was still standing in the corner, tugging on his hoodie sleeves and failing to hide his shy smile.

Remus narrowed his eyes at the emo Side. "You're just gonna hide out in the corner like a scaredy-cat, huh, Vee?"

"Fuck off," Virgil snapped back, but the effect was lost with how flustered he sounded. "You're not getting t- you're just sitting there, too!"

"I'm not just sitting here!" Remus shot back, scrambling to his feet and facing Virgil with a Cheshire smile. "I'm saving my boyfriend!"

With that, he lunged to Virgil, managing to grab the anxious Side even as he hissed and jerked away from Remus' grasp. Remus tightened his arms to hold Virgil against his chest, and dragged him over to Patton's side of the sofa.

"Special delivery!" he announced. "Care to swap a snake for a spider, Patty Cake?"

"Plehehehease!" Janus squealed, giggling like crazy

"Hm," Patton mused, smiling up at Virgil, "normally spiders scare me, but I think that one looks like a real cutie pie!"

"Patton- fuck off, Remus!" Virgil shrieked; Remus pushed him forward into Patton's lap, and as soon as Patton released Janus to catch Virgil, Remus was yanking Janus onto his feet and dragging him back across the room toward the safe spot. Still giggling, Janus gripped Remus' arm to stay upright as he caught his breath.

"Thank you, darling."

Remus preened and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Anything for my boo!"

"Ja-nus!" Virgil said. "You traitor- ahahahahaha!" His words were lost as Patton began haphazardly squeezing his sides and stomach, his large hands moving too quickly for Virgil to block.

"Plehehehehease!" Roman squealed; he'd tried to crawl away from Logan, but it was hard with how the logical side was rapidly switching between pinching his thigh and his stomach. He pointed a wobbly finger at his twin. "Rehehehemus!"

"Sorry bro-bro, but I ain't coming anywhere near you right now," Remus replied. "Someone else is gonna have to save you!"

Roman shook his head, forcing his laughter down just long enough to yell, "Logan get Remus!"

Logan chuckled lowly. "Oh, interesting. You think it's Remus' turn?"

Roman nodded desperately. Logan cast his eyes up to Remus and Janus, holding hands with nervous, giddy smiles on their faces.

"Hmm..." Logan said. All of a sudden he released Roman and stood up from the couch in one fell swoop. He wasn't much taller than Remus or Janus, but the way he rolled his shoulders and stretched made them feel very small.

"Remus, come here," he said simply.

"No!"

Logan took one step forward. "Remus..."

"Fuck no!" Remus stepped backwards, dragging Janus along with him.

"Come here-" was all Logan could get out before the chase began. Remus darted around the couch, Janus giggling madly in his wake, and Logan followed with an uncharacteristic playfulness.

Roman, catching his breath, managed to point and laugh as Remus ran. "Your turn, Dukey!"

"Fuck off!" Remus shrieked. Suddenly his heels dug into the floor, yanking Janus to a stop; Logan had reversed direction, and was now coming towards them head on. The two of them screamed, both in fear and delight, and darted in the opposite direction.

"Come on, Professor!" Roman called like a sports spectator. "You can catch them! Go for Janus first!"

"Excuse me?" Janus gasped. He paused just long enough in his running to flick Roman's ear.

"Hey!"

"Haha, nice!" Remus crowed. "Good job, babe!"

"Be nice, Janus..." Logan called. He managed to get close enough a few times to trail his hand across Janus' back, making the snake Side yelp every time.

"Nope, I'm out!" he called, yanking his hand out of Remus' grasp. He immediately stepped to the side, out of Logan's reach; lucky for him, the logical Side seemed dead set on catching Remus now, and they continued to run and duck around the furniture.

"Woah!" Patton said when Remus accidentally jostled his legs as they ran by. "Careful, kiddos!"

"Pahahaton," Virgil groaned. His face was dark and there was an adorable dimple on his cheek that just made Patton wanna coo. "We're not-- not kids!"

For a moment, Patton slowed his squeezing tickles as he readjusted Virgil, nearly pulling the other Side on his lap.

"Wanna know a secret?"

Virgil looked up at him, confused, and squeaked as Patton leaned his head down.

"You're always gonna be my kiddos, Virgey," he whispered in Virgil's ear. Virgil's blush couldn't get any hotter, especially when Patton began snuffling all over Virgil's neck and ears.

"Nahahaha!" he whined, feet banging on the floor. "Hehehehelp!"

He leaned his head against the back of the sofa just in time to catch Janus' eye as he continued to move in wary circles around the room.

"Jan!" he squealed. "Plehehease!"

Janus looked at his brother's face and softened like a wet tissue.

"Patton, honestly," he said, moving forward to stand next to the couch, "I think this... mortifying experience has gone on long enough, don't you?"

Patton looked up at him as he continued to tickle Virgil's sides. "Nope!"

"Perhaps it's time we let this game come to a conclusion?"

Suddenly Roman was behind Janus. "Perhaps not." And with that, he pushed the snake side over the arm of the couch, making him fall face first directly into Patton's lap.

"That's for flicking my ear!"

Patton made a noise of delight that was barely audible with human hearing. "Oh, thank you for the gift, Roman!" He shifted in a way that implied years of practice until he was holding both Virgil and Janus on each of his legs. His arms wrapped around their midsections and began haphazardly tickling their tummies in unison.

One would think that Janus and Virgil were actually biological brothers, the way they both clutched Patton's arm and threw their heads back in laughter in the exact same way.

"Janny!" Remus cried, looking both delighted and affronted that his brother had pushed his boyfriend directly into Patton's tickle trap. His steps faltered, just for a moment, but that was all it took before Logan could grab him around the waist and drag him (not so gently) to the floor.

Logan smiled like a mad scientist who'd brought his creature back to life. "Got you."

"Wait wait wait wait fuck no--" was all he could get out before Logan dug into his stomach with rapidly vibrating claws. Remus screamed, feet drumming wildly on the floor as Logan tickled him to pieces.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuhuhuhuck!"

"Language," Logan chastised lightly, like nothing out of the ordinary was happening at all. "Everyone else has had a turn, Remus. This is only fair."

"I don't need a tuhuhuhurn! This is-- hehehey!"

Remus couldn't even finish his protests before another pair of hands made their way to his sides. His eyes shot open only to see the smirky, snarky face of his twin hovering above him.

"Oh, we could never leave you out of the fun, dearest brother of mine," he sang, squishing randomly on any part of Remus' torso that he could reach. "I thought you liked playing silly games?"

"Go easy on him, Roman," Patton called out; he'd mostly stopped tickling Virgil and Janus, and was now merely holding the two of them as they got their stray giggles out. "Don't hurt him!"

"Oh please, he loves this," Roman replied. Remus screeched in indignation.

"Bullpoopy!"

Roman raised an unimpressed eyebrow. He shot his hand underneath Remus' jaw to scratch his nails along his neck, and Remus squealed, head scrunching into his neck like a desperate turtle.

Logan let out a small laugh himself, slowing down his tickling as everyone watched Remus fall into the most helpless giggles any of them had ever heard.

"Oh, goodness," Patton whispered, clearly delighted. Virgil was outright snickering at his friend's demise, and Janus' was watching on with a hopelessly romantic expression on his face.

"This is what you get for starting it all!" Roman declared, every inch of him clearly full of mirth. Logan peered down at Remus' bright red face, and brushed a bit of hair back from his sweaty forehead.

"Is that a very ticklish spot, Remus?" he asked. "Don't be afraid to tell me. I'll merely keep a note of it for later."

Remus shook his head. "I-- I--"

Immediately, Logan and Patton made eye contact. Remus sounded more wheezy than he had a moment before.

Their mouths opened at the same time, but to their surprise Roman had already pulled his hands away, a worried twinge in his eyes as he watch Remus calm down.

"Are you okay?" he asked immediately. "Did I go to far?"

Remus coughed once, causing Virgil and Janus to look even closer with matching nervous frowns to see if he was okay.

"I..." Remus said slowly. "I'm..."

Silence, for a beat.

And then Remus attacked: sitting up, pushing Logan away, and body slamming Roman until he was flat on the ground, all in one swift move.

"I'm gonna get you, Ro-Bro," he hissed, and there was nothing but giddy joy in his voice as he began tickling his brother right back.

Everyone in the group jumped as Roman screamed, loud, at the surprise tickle attack. There was a scrabble of limbs as the twins wrestled, shouts of laughter filling the room and making everyone giggly again.

"Play nice, boys!" Patton called out. Remus looked up, his tongue poking out of the corner of his cheeky smile.

"Yes, Daddy!" he replied. The he immediately dove down and blue a raspberry against Roman's tummy. The other side shrieked yet again.

"That's not nihihihice!"

Remus cackled evilly, and Patton considered stepping in himself to give that stinker a taste of his own medicine, but before he could move someone else beat him to it: Virgil, who wiggled off Patton's lap and onto the floor, crawled over to the two wrestling Sides, and attacked Remus' ribs with a flurry of fingers.

The snort that Remus released cracked through the room, and now he was the one laying on the floor, writhing helplessly as Virgil attacked him.

"I got you, Princey," he called over the fray, smirking at his boyfriend as Roman caught his breath. "Now hurry up and help me finish him."

Roman grinned brightly. "With extreme pleasure."

He dove in as well, and between the two of them Remus was well and truly screwed, batting at the four hands that were now wrecking him from every side. He tried to give back what he was getting, but it was just too easy to overpower him.

Logan's chuckles were low, but Patton could hear them despite the noise in the room. The two locked eyes and shared a secret smile before Logan's eyes drifted over to Janus, still half-sitting on Patton's lap.

"What about you?" he called. "Don't you want to help Remus?"

"He got himself in that mess," Janus said, cheeks flushing again as he looked at the tickle fight in the middle of the room, "and I'll have nothing to do with it."

Like a horror movie jumpscare, Remus shoved his upper body towards the couch, making both Janus and Patton squeak with surprise.

"Yes you will!" he said between giggles, and before anyone else could react he grabbed Janus haphazardly and yanked him backwards, making them both tumble back onto the floor-- and into the middle of Roman and Virgil's tickle attack.

"Human shield!" Remus screamed. He locked his hands behind Janus' back, keeping his boyfriend trapped on top of him.

"Wait-- no! No, no, Remus, nohohohoho!"

But it was too late: Roman and Virgil took no time at all diving in to tickle Janus all over his back and sides as he shrieked and squealed and squirmed.

"Evil!" Janus shrieked, trying desperately to push off of Remus' chest. "No-- no kisses until you letmegohohoho!"

Virgil cooed, leaning closer to Janus' ear. "Aw, you don't wanna kiss your boyfriend? Sucks for you, Jan." He finished the statement with leaning over to press a kiss to Roman's cheek, causing their respective brothers to make noises of disgust.

"You're dissssssssssgusting!" Janus gasped through his laughter. He gathered his strength and shoved Roman away from his little brother, drilling his fingers into Roman's ribs as the other side fell back on his haunches.

"Nah-- ahaha-- no!" Roman gasped. He keeled forward, grinning and giggling against Remus' stomach. Virgil tried to reach forward to push Janus' hand off of Roman, only for Remus to easily grab the anxious side's wrist and hold his arm out for Janus' other hand to dive under with wiggling fingers.

Around and around and around it went-- hands and fingers and curses and teases and giggles flew. Roman blew breathless raspberries against Remus' tummy while Janus fought to keep his fingers vibrating wildly under Virgil's arm. In turn Virgil dove down to scrabble his nail's blindly against Janus' back, while Remus did the same on either side of Roman's neck. The peals of laughter rose and melded into one loud happy harmony, and it wasn't long before the four of them were breathless with giggles, tickling without even seeing who they were attacking.

It was messy, chaotic, and perfect. Just like their family.

Patton wasn't sure when things had started to slow down. All he knew was that there was a sudden drop in the volume of the twins laughter-- it seems they had finally tired themselves out, and were now panting heavily from their disheveled positions on the living room floor. Virgil's giggles still rang through the air, albeit less desperate and more happy than anything else, until Janus relented with one final squeeze to his brother's belly before he, too, flopped back to the floor.

There they lay, those four Sides, curled like pretzels in a giant puppy pile, catching their breath and letting their last few giggles peter out. Patton took the time to examine the room: furniture shoved out of place in the mad scrambles to escape the tickles, the couch cushions were pulled out and squashed against the floor, and there was popcorn everywhere. He made eyes with Logan, expecting to see that familiar chagrin he knew so well, but was instead greeted with a look of nose-wrinkled affection.

"Blankets?" he mouthed, and Patton grinned. He reached over and grabbed one of the blankets they'd been using on the couch, and without warning threw it over the four Sides on the floor.

"Ah!" Virgil yelped first; he was the only one who saw it coming, but that half-second warning wasn't enough to save him or the others from getting absolutely draped in the oversized blanket. "D-- Patton!"

"Hm?" Patton said, grabbing the other two blankets and flinging them on the pile with ease. "Can't hear you!"

Someone was giggling again from inside the pile, probably Remus. Janus emerged first, his hair adorably mussed.

"Patton. Why."

"You looked so comfy! I wanted to help!"

"You could've helped us off of the floor."

"Aw, but you looked so cute down there." Patton giggled, lightly kicking at Janus' shoulder, causing him to hiss with displeasure.

Logan gave a light laugh. "You all did just play a very strenuous game." He reached out and patted a random ankle that was sticking out of the pile; it jerked back in over-sensitive self defense, Roman's gasp of laughter giving away its identity.

"Remus started it," came his muffled response. Remus blew a raspberry, worming his way out from underneath the covers.

"Oh, please, I didn't do shit! It was Pattycake!"

"Yes, it was!" Patton said proudly. "And I'd do it again!" Without warning he slid himself onto the floor and grabbed Remus around the waist, holding the squawking Side in a tight hug.

"My little kiddos," he cooed, and yes he knew he was laying it on thick but that was part of the fun. "Having so much fun together! It makes Logan and I so happy when you all play so nicely, I'm very proud of you--"

"Fine okay enough!" Janus shrieked; Virgil was reduced to desperate hissing as Roman buried his face in his hands. Remus pretended to gag, but Patton could feel how tightly he was returning the hug.

"Alright," Logan said warmly, silencing the group. "Let's regroup. Roman, Janus, will you fix the pillows and blankets, please? Virgil and Remus, go get some more snacks-- preferably ones that won't make a mess when thrown."

Patton watched as the other Sides, with good-natured grumbling, began working together to get their movie night back on track. It made something heavy in his chest get a little bit lighter.

He started when he realized Logan had joined him back on the couch, this time sitting right next to him. The two locked eyes, unable and unwilling to stop the soft smiles growing on their faces. Logan fumbled for Patton's hand, and he turned it over so they could lock their fingers together.

It was just another silly day in the Mind Palace. And there were so many more to come.

[smileheart110]

I love that.

Aftercare [Tickletober Day 14]

Or: Virgil has mean thoughts.

Warnings: Switch!Janus and Switch!Virgil; The aftercare after a tickle session and very light tickles. No proofreaded; 800 words. Take care, lollipop! Sleep, eat, drink water and watch the clouds a bit! They can tell really great stories. ^w^)

[~*~]  

“RED!” He managed to shout between his hissy laughter, his upper limbs too much tired to push the fingers attacking his knees away, which quickly proved unnecessary, since the moment the safeword ran out of his lips the tickles immediately stopped.

Keep reading

[quackkaz]

Roman : Am I a joke to you?

Janus : I mean… not a funny one.

[delimeful]

in sickness and in health (8)

warnings: captivity, arguing, remus talking about remus things, panic, gratuitous amount of puns, lmk if i missed any

-

“What’s going on?”

The impromptu staredown between all three humans was interrupted by Roman hurriedly leaning obnoxiously far over the counter, bodily blocking Patton’s view of the two borrowers.

“Patton!” he blurted, clearly aiming for a casual air and instead landing somewhere in the realm of ‘stewing in blatant panic and guilt’. “Hello there, what an unexpected and lovely surprise to see you here, in… the kitchen of your own home.”

Next to him, Virgil heard the small, distinct thwap of his fellow borrower’s palm meeting their face.

“…What’s going on?” Patton repeated, sounding far more awake this time.

“Extremely normal, non-fairy-related things,” Roman answered, visibly sweating.

“Extremely bloody Dionysian orgies,” Remus said at the same time, considerably louder.

Virgil could see just enough of Patton’s expression to watch the way it crinkled in a sort of morose confusion.

“In the kitchen?” he asked, voice pained, as though that was his main problem with the suggestion.

“If there aren’t any knives involved, can any orgy really be called Dionysian?” Remus replied in a faux-wise tone, lifting his arm to make a deeply inappropriate gesture in accompaniment with his words. This technically cleared the way back to the wall, but as it turned out, only for a moment.

Before either of them could get too hopeful about any chance of escape, Remus ended the gesture by quickly clapping his hands over the both of them in a makeshift dome shape.

Next to him, the other borrower only flinched a bit, but Virgil couldn’t help the outright squeak he made at the sudden limbs dropping down over them.

There was another pause from the humans above them, this one distinctly more harried.

“Um, guys?” Patton’s voice had gone from confused to concerned. “What was—?”

“Broken whoopee cushion,” Remus insisted. “Filled it with mayonnaise, you know how it goes.”

“He sneezed!” Roman added, his voice sliding up a few pitches. “Gesundheit, Remus! Totally nothing strange about that— Padre, wait!”

There were big steps drawing closer, now, and Remus’s hands cinched in a little tighter around the two of them. They were forced to huddle even closer together, and the other borrower’s bony elbow collided with his side in a way he wasn’t convinced was accidental.

He shot them a glare, which they returned with an expression that was equal parts indignant and frantic. After a second, they forced a barely-there whisper through grit teeth. “It’s your human. Will he hurt us?”

“How am I supposed to know?!” Virgil hissed back, just as quiet. “I didn’t ever get caught before you showed up!”

Not while the human was conscious enough to remember it, anyhow.

The other borrower’s eyes narrowed into slits, reminding Virgil that he probably shouldn’t be antagonizing the guy that already proved themself willing to try and murder him once. Before they could respond, though, the conversation over their heads continued.

“Guys,” Patton said, sounding stern. “What have we said about wrangling critters in my home?”

“That it was a firmly banned activity after the Great Frog Croak-tastrophe?” Roman guessed sheepishly. “And, y’know, that was certainly a fair and just ruling for that situation, however—!”

“Nuh-uh, I don’t wanna hear it,” Patton replied, unwavering. Virgil could practically envision the way his human was standing from his tone alone: hands on his hips, eyebrows raised expectantly. “Frog or not, I’m sure whatever you two caught will be much hoppier once they’re released safely outside, right Remus?”

“Eh, you might not feel the same after you see them, Pattycakes,” Remus warned. “I know I’m usually the harbinger of pests, wrangler of rats, champion of centipedes, but not even I know what to do about these guys.”

There was the shuffle of clothing, like Patton was shifting in place, and he sighed. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to figure it out together, huh?”

There was a moment of hesitation where Virgil assumed the twins were exchanging a wordless meaningful look, as they so often did, and then the distinct slide of glass across a countertop.

The moment the hands around them twitched, Virgil shifted into a crouched position, drawing his legs under him and preparing to bolt the moment there was space, even if it was probably totally futile. Next to him, he could feel the other borrower doing much the same.

Rather than lift off of them, however, the hands shifted to pinch even closer together, forming the shape of a spade, like a pair of nut shells that had been glued back together at the edges, leaving a hollow space inside. The two of them were forced to scramble upwards into the hold or get limbs stuck in between the sides of Remus’s palms as he scooped them up off the counter completely.

Virgil’s stomach dropped at the upwards movement, completely out of his control, and he reached out and latched onto the side of the other borrower’s shirt with a white-knuckled grip. They were still at least a little concussed, and Virgil wasn’t letting them get separated now, not when he’d already gotten himself into the most terrifying situation in his life saving them. Wherever they were going, they’d at least be stuck in it together.

To his surprise, the other borrower gripped him right back.

After only a few seconds, they were lowered and deposited onto a familiar smooth surface. Virgil grit his teeth at the feeling, resisting the urge to scream in frustration. He’d just gotten out of this stupid glass pitcher!

He didn’t get much time to seethe indignantly, however, because the moment Remus’s hands pulled away, there were much bigger problems to face.

Three of them, to be precise.

Heart in his throat, Virgil slowly lifted his head to look up at the face of his human, warped through the curve of the glass.

With a confused furrow to his brow, Patton moved to take a step closer, and then stopped short as the sight before him properly registered. His hand flew up to cover his mouth, his eyes widening with surprise. “Oh my!”

“I toad you so,” Remus interjected unhelpfully.

Roman cuffed his shoulder, and Remus immediately jabbed two fingers into Roman’s side in retaliation. It was only a firm warning look from Patton that kept them from devolving into another slap fight during the most terrifying moment of Virgil’s life.

Virgil shifted to stand, shuffling back until he didn’t have to crane his neck so painfully to make eye contact. Humans were so big, and it had never been more evident than it was now, staring up at giants.

Staring up at Patton. He was pretty sure he’d had a nightmare that had gone exactly like this. Well, minus the concussed would-be assassin. And the frog puns.

Patton, for his part, had developed a genuinely distressed twist to his features as he took in the sight of the two of them. After a moment of wavering, his gaze settled firmly on Virgil, sending a prickling sense of alarm up his spine.

“Hello again,” said Patton, smiling at him.

Virgil froze. The borrower behind him froze. Even the twins froze for a moment, before their heads both snapped around to stare at Patton with eerie synchronization.

“You know them?!” two voices asked, in two very different tones.

Virgil felt dread drop into his gut like a stone down a sewer grate. There was no way.

“I know one of them,” Patton answered, unperturbed by everyone’s shock. “That’s the little guy who helped take care of me while I was sick!”

He lifted a hand in demonstration and wiggled his fingers, the healing burns on them still visibly shiny.

The twins gaped. “He what?”

Behind him, in a far more bewildered tone, the other borrower echoed them: “You what?”

“You shut up,” Virgil muttered sourly without turning to look at them. His heart was practically shaking in his ribcage, knowing that the human had remembered all along, that Patton had returned home well-aware of the intruder in his walls.

The realization felt chilling, like a thimble of icy water had been dumped down his shirt. Patton hadn’t acted strange at all, hadn’t cast any speculative glances at the walls or scanned any shelves for undersized intruders. The twins and their ghost-hunting equipment clearly hadn’t known the truth, so why would Patton? Virgil hadn’t even suspected.

Who knew what would have happened after Roman and Remus left, and it was only the two of them, with Virgil blissfully unaware of the danger he was in?

Well. Caught like this, he supposed he was going to find out soon.

Patton’s smile faded, carefully watching the way Virgil’s chest was visibly shuddering with too-shallow breaths.

“You thought I froggot, huh?” he said, looking inexplicably sad. “I thought about it while I was in the hospital, and I kinda figured we’re really not supposed to know about you guys. That means it was pretty darn brave of you to try and help me anyways.”

Virgil swallowed, fear sticking in his throat. He didn’t know what to say. He certainly didn’t feel brave.

The other borrower stepped up to be at his side, ignoring Virgil’s reflexive attempt to shoulder them back behind him.

“I suppose the saying is true, then.” They paused, narrowing their eyes in a silent challenge. “No good deed goes unpunished.”

The encompassing flourish they made was a little wobbly, as though their balance was still off, but it got the point across: Patton had recovered from his illness, and they were stuck in a pitcher on his counter.

Virgil’s incredulity at the other borrower was enough to snap him out of the worst of his frozen terror, his head whipping to the side to stare at them.

They were insane. They had to be, using such sharp words and an even sharper tone with a human. This was just about the worst time to instigate an argument. The two of them were stuck in a pitcher on his counter!

Unsurprisingly, neither of the twins looked particularly happy with the accusatory turn the conversation had taken. Patton had been their friend for a long time. They had always jumped at the opportunity to defend him from harm in the past, and Virgil doubted that would change now.

For all their tomfoolery, the two of them could be downright vicious when they were angry. If they were willing to tear fellow humans a new one for messing with Patton, it was gruesome to imagine what they’d do to a pair of borrowers. They’d already been terrifying enough when they’d only been curious about him.

Before either of them could begin to speak, however, Patton nodded once, almost to himself, and pivoted to face his friends.

“Howsabout you two get started on cleaning up the living room so we can settle down and get some proper sleep?” he asked, the request firm enough that it was clearly more of an instruction than a suggestion.

Both twins started protesting immediately, looking extremely put out at the idea of abandoning Patton with their exciting new find. They were talking over each other, the words tangling and becoming an indecipherable mess by the time they reached Virgil, but he was fairly certain he heard phrases like “—but I’ll only lie awake haunted by fairy law and order,” and, “—you can’t keep me away from my new pyromaniac bestie!” in the mix.

“Mhmm, yup, we can discuss all of that later,” Patton replied stoutly, ushering the two of them towards the entrance to the kitchen with insistent sweeping gestures, like a shepherd with his herd. “There’ll be plenty of time to talk over breakfast in the morning, but it’s getting late, so hop to it!”

“We’re being banished with frog puns! This is an amphibian atrocity,” Roman bemoaned.

“Froggin’ unbelievable,” Remus agreed. 

However, even with all their complaints, they seemed to understand that Patton wasn’t budging this time, and reluctantly allowed themselves to be shooed out of the kitchen like the world’s noisiest sheep.

At Virgil’s shoulder, the other borrower took the opportunity to lean in while the humans were across the room.

“You ‘didn’t ever get caught,’ hmm?” they asked, still far too smug considering the situation they were in.

A muscle in Virgil’s eye twitched. Despite everything, he wasted a moment considering the merits of trying to inflict another head injury on his fellow captive. They’d been a lot more tolerable with the beginnings of a concussion.

“Do you want to go back to trying to stab each other?” he snapped instead, stepping pointedly away even as he made the thinly-veiled threat. “Because it seems like you want to go back to trying to stab each other.”

“Oh, I’m so terrified,” they replied drolly, crossing their arms. “Won’t someone save me from the horrible Monoxide assassin and his entirely genuine threats?”

Virgil stared at them for a moment, disbelieving. “You know, I think I actually liked you better when you were trying to murder me in cold blood.”

“Don’t lose hope. Maybe I’ll try again later,” they retorted with a dangerous glint in their eye, and then they were both falling silent as Patton approached once more.

Out of the corner of his eye, Virgil caught the contemplative frown that flashed over the other borrower’s face, the only glimpse of their consternation at facing down a human. They may have had plans aplenty to deal with the twins, but Patton was clearly more of an unknown to them.

…Virgil knew Patton. He’d spent enough time watching the human to get attached, grown familiar enough with Patton’s life to cheer on his efforts and fret over his disappointments. He should be able to find the right words to get them out of this, convince his human the way the other borrower had effortlessly fooled Roman, but… he couldn’t.

It was impossible to think up a strategy for this situation. How could he possibly reconcile Patton, the guy who helped organize weekly PTA bake sales and volunteered to look after kittens he was allergic to and cried when he saw roadkill, with a human who knew, who would keep them trapped, who needed to be pleaded with for their release?

How was he supposed to bargain with a monster if he couldn’t even accept that the monster existed?

“I’m sorry if the twins frightened you,” Patton said, voice lowered to a softer volume. “They tend to be very exuberant, but they don’t mean any harm.”

The other borrower looked as though they were on the brink of scoffing at the very idea that they couldn’t handle Roman and Remus, a defensive slant to their shoulders.

“Why?” The word tumbled from Virgil’s mouth without his permission, his shoulders hunching under the undivided focus of Patton’s gaze.

“Why what?” he asked, tilting his head slightly like a confused dog.

“If you knew,” Virgil forced out, fingernails digging into his palms, “why didn’t you tell them? Or— or look for me?”

Understanding settled onto Patton’s expression, and he hummed thoughtfully, as though considering how to phrase his answer.

“If you wanted to be seen, you would have come out and said hi,” he finally said, simply. “You saved my life by calling for help. If you wanted to stay a secret, the least I could do is make sure to keep that secret safe.”

Virgil blinked up at him, trying to force the words into a configuration that made sense. Humans didn’t just let mysteries exist, especially not ones that were so easy to grab ahold of.

“I won’t lie and say I’m not awfully curious about you,” Patton continued, and his hand was reaching out for the handle of the pitcher and surely, this was the moment that it all came crashing down—, “but you can’t force a friendship. Especially not like this!”

Slowly, in gentle increments, the pitcher was shifted to lay on its side, the open end facing away from Patton. It was practically a straight shot to the closest wall entrance, their freedom waiting where the back of the counter met the kitchen wall.

They’d been prepared to make a break for it at the earliest opportunity before, but now, with escape dangled in front of them, both borrowers hesitated. Virgil exchanged a dumbfounded look with the other borrower, trying to stomp down the insane hope bubbling in the back of his mind.

“If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me!” Patton finished, making sure the glass was stable and settled before releasing it and stepping back. “Otherwise, my lips are sealed— and I’ll make sure Roman and Remus keep the secret, too.”

He made a zipping motion over his mouth, eyes crinkled with amusement at the edges, and then turned and walked out of the kitchen without a single glance back.

Virgil hadn’t uttered a single plea, and yet, the path back to the walls was right there. He looped the other borrower’s arm over his shoulder and led them, step by faltering step, across the counter, even scooping his bag up as he went. Nobody came rushing in, nobody stopped them from taking those last few steps into the safety of the walls.

He’d expected to face a monster, and instead he’d been offered kindness, unasked for and freely given.

They were both quiet as they shuffled further into the familiar cramped space, as though a single sound would shatter the illusion of this impossible release. The other borrower pulled away after a moment, their pain of their concussion likely more manageable in the dark. The silence stretched, relief and exhaustion weighing on them in equal measure.

Virgil yawned despite himself, absently wondering if they were going to continue that semi-murderous argument about cults and who wronged who, and if the other borrower would be willing to reschedule it to sometime after they’d slept.

Ahead of them, a third figure stepped out of the shadows, quickly looking them over as though checking that everyone was still intact. Oddly enough, they sort of smelled like gunpowder.

“Hm. That certainly didn’t go according to plan,” they said bluntly, the oversized pack on their back jingling slightly as they stepped forward. “Still, we all survived, so I suppose introductions are in order.”

[myapathyhaspeaked]

janus: don’t worry thomas, you’re a good person

patton: yes, and as a good person you have a responsibility to put the wellbeing of others before your own at all times

janus: wait, no—

[smileheart110]

Love this!

I'm not dead. Also, fuck it, I'm doing a ghost thing. Definitely not inspired by a reblog I saw on @thetickleeraven 's page.

Ghosty

Logan had been a ghost for exactly 37 years following his demise at the hands of a lethal heart attack. He died alone, with no friends or family sharing his mansion of a house. To make up for wasted space, he decided to fill his mansion with books years before succumbing to his weak heart.

Little did he know that, after 37 years of sulking in the silence of his mansion, that two exporers would attempt to reap his house of all its knowledge.

((TICKLES INCOMING YOUVE BEEN WARNED))

"Can't believe you talked me into this. Who's going to be the sassy bitch at school if I'm not there?" Janus groaned.

What the-

That didn't sound like the normal creaks and groans of his house. Logan quickly put down his book to investigate the noise. To his horror he saw that two figures had crossed the many "DO NOT ENTER" signs and had walked right in through his front door. One was notably dirty and had an unnerving smile as his tall, thin figure maneuvered over piles of books. The other was covered in a thick coat, with a more deadpan expression, a scar across one of his eyes.

"Cmoooon Snakey! If we stay in school and read their books, our brains will rot!" Remus turned around and pouted at Janus.

"So... youre saying that we should keep ditching school and avoid reading books... to come here and read books? How many times did you hit your head this morning?" Janus scowled at him from his place at the bottom of the book pile.

"I only hit it the normal amount!" The tall teen huffed. "Besides! These are OLD books! Good gnarly stuff! There's probably an anatomy book in here somewhere... or maybe a copy of the Bible with Lilith still in it!" Remus kept yammering on like the extrovert he was as Janus begrudgingly followed him up and down book piles. "Oh! Oh oh oh! And I heard I guy died here a long time ago! I'd be great to get some spooks and even find some of his remains!"

"They already buried all the remains, dumbass... they just left the books behind out of respect... I suggest we do the same and walk our lil hinies back to civilation... this is already boring... and a ghost doesn't usually like his place of residence disturbed." Janus secretely dares Remus, which only makes him laugh.

"Yeah right! As of there'd be a ghost here! I'd die of boredom!" Remus gives a few kicks.

"Then why are we here if you'd die of boredom here?" Janus raises an eyebrow.

"Becuase you're here!" Remus giggles and runs into a dark hallway.

"Remus!" Janus follows, worried his friend would fall through the weak floor boards.

Oh this would NOT do! These two strangers were touching all his stuff, not to mention all the noise they were making. Logan had to do something to scare them off. Appearing to them might excite them, so things more subtle might scare them. He followed the two boys, running through different plans in his mind as he did so.

"Just more books..." Janus crossed his arms, are we done yeeeh...?" Janus trailed off as he saw a floating book.

Becuase Logan's soul stayed at the location in which he died, he had a bit more leverage over real world objects than the average ghost. He dangled the book in front of Janus, throwing it between his hands, and even touching the the confused teen with it.

"Uh... Remus?"

Remus turned around. "Awww come on! How come YOU have the ghost's attention?" Remus pouted and walked over to where they were. "I wonder where he is... maybe here?"

Remus reached his arms out into the space Logan was occupying to pull off this trick.

Logan, along with the book, jolted as the crazy teens hands went through him. Uh-oh. This didn't feel right... they weren't even scared of him! Let alone- "AH!"

Both Jamus and Remus jumped in surprise as they heard a yelp. Remus had begin wiggling his long, polished nails through the space Logan was in. "Oh! Hi there, little ghosty! Are you... ticklish??" Remus teased as he scritched and raked his fingers through the space.

Logan slapped both hands over his mouth. Oh God no, this was his worst nightmare! He always avoided being touched in life and now- huh... it didn't actually feel so bad... the hands of a mortal were warm and whole. He didn't even realize he was cold up until this point.

"I can tell somethings here, Jan! This space is freezing cold!" Logan was having a hard time holding his breath as Remus poked scratched and kneaded his hands through his form. Ghosts could hold their breath forever, but not when being tickled. The feeling felt so foreign to Logan, and yet, he didn't want to leave... the hands were so warm.

"Really? Lemme feel."

Uh-oh.

Janus reached through as well, wiggling his fingers as well.

Logan couldn't hold it anymore.

"PffftaaAAAAHAHAHAHAhahaha!" Both Janus and Remus jumped and smiled at the sound they heard as they saw the book fall to the ground. "Ohohohoho nohohohoHOHOHAHA!" His laughter ramped up as Remus reached up to where his neck would be.

"We DO have a ticklish ghost! This is awesome! Hey ghost! Hey ghost! Do you have any food in here? Maybe raspberries? Do you like raspberries?" Remus grinned like a mad man, well- even more so than usual.

"Nohohohoho! Ahahaha!" The tickling was unbearable for Logan. He hadn't been tickled since he was a child.

"Oh well that's a shame.~" Janus's slippery smooth voice grazed over Logan's ear. "We love them..." Both took a big breath as Logan hugged himself, preparing for the worst. The the worst, he got.

Both blew raspberries into the open air, Remus's lips over Logans tummy and Janus's against the back of his neck.

"AHHIIIHIHIHIHIHEEHEEHEE! STOHOHOHOHAHAHAP IHIHIT!" He curled up, begging through his uncontrollable laughter.

"Wow, he finally said stop!" Remus laughed, both him and Janus taking their hands out.

Logan felt a whole new find of warmth spreading from his face to his neck and the tips of his ears. "Ahahaha... whahat..what... what are you doing here?" Logan said weakly, letting his form become seeable to them.

"We're here to admire your collection!" Remus flaps his arms happily. "We're also explorers!"

"Speak for yourself, Dora." Janus rolls his eyes, making Remus leap onto him. "Your turn! Stop being such a poopy party!"

"Um, I believe is the term is party po-Ahahahahaha! EEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!" Janus squirmed and kicked as Remus got the backs of his knees, grinning thoughtfully. The warmth Logan felt increased as he saw them wrestle for upper hand.

"Snakey! NOOOO-nononohohohohoho!" Janus finally got a good grip on Remus's calves, doing to town while Remus lost his mind on the ground.

Now Logan had a choice. He could help one win, just watch as he grew colder again, or leave to his room and pretend this never happened. Who was he kidding? He hasn't felt this happy in 37 years.

Janus yelped as the feeling of fingers wiggling into his ribs made him lose his grip on Remus. He looked down and saw Logan's hands phasing into his body.

"Ha! Imma get... ...?" Remus stared in awe as Janus rolled around on the ground. "Ohohoho gahahad it's so BAHAHAHAD!" Janus kicked his legs as Logan found his hips.

"Oh my god, the ghost is tickling you! That's awesome!" Remus does a hop.

Janus was cackling at this point. "MAHAHAKE IHIHIT STOHOHOHOHOP!"

Remus chuckled. "Okay ghost, that's enough! Don't wanna kill him! Yet~"

Logan giggled at that and stopped, floating between them. "Ghost has a name..." He said shyly.

"Oooo tell us!" Remus does another hop.

"I go by Logan- ahh!? Ahh...~" Logan relaxed as both teens hugged each other through him, perfectly sandwitching him. "Thank you..."

"Hey Logan Ghosty?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we come back here?"

"Youre gonna have to hug me like this every time..." Logan said shyly.

"DEAL!" Remus purred and squeezed Janus, making the poor sassy teen melt, as did Logan.

"Come back soon, okay?" He had a feeling he wasn't going to be cold anymore.

[halfhissandwich]

“Because I’m a liar.”

[bailey-orphic08]

Okay, so- I have this Sander Sides AU that I've had for a long while now. And I think it would be neat to share it with you. I might also make several posts about it. So let me introduce you to:

Sanders Switched is an AU in which the sides' "roles" are switched around. To elaborate, their function (Logan as logic, Patton as morality, ect.) remains the same. Thomas' perception of them is what changes. So where Logan is the voice of reason in canon, another side would take his place. Here's all the sides in Sanders Switched:

Janus: Janus takes the role of Patton as the kind authority figure. He's seen as Thomas' self-preservation and always puts his safety and well-being above all else. He's a sort of motherly figure to the other sides, constantly caring about their well-being and acting as if he's older than them. He's much sweeter than OG Janus, but he still has a sassy side, and lives for gossip.

Remus: Remus takes Roman's role as Thomas' source of inspiration. He is seen as Thomas' comedic side and encourages Thomas to have as much fun as possible. Rather than being a Duke, he presents as a jester. He has issues with his impulsivity, and his jokes tend to be morbid and often mean, but he's overall harmless and much more tame than OG Remus.

The Orange Side: Obviously, I can't say exactly what the Orange Side will be, since we haven't been introduced to him yet. But based off what we do know, I place him in Logan's role as the voice of reason. Assuming he represents wrath of some sort--which is impossible not to believe at this point--he would probably be seen as Thomas' motivation, pushing him to get his work done.

Roman: Most people would probably switch Roman and Remus and make Remus, "good creativity," and Roman, "bad creativity." BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M COMPLICATED AND UNIQUE. So Roman takes the place of Virgil as the original, "antagonist." He is seen as Thomas' pride that pushes delusions that keep Thomas from growing as a person. He arrogant and rude, and claims he is a King rather than a Prince. Because of this, none of the sides really like him at all, with the exception of Janus. But near the end of season one, we discover that Roman only really wanted Thomas to achieve his dreams, and that most of his cockiness hid his secret insecurities. And after Thomas and the other sides realize how important he is, Roman is officially accepted as part of the group.

Patton: Patton takes the role of Janus as the antagonist to all of Thomas' beliefs and the possible leader of the dark sides. He is seen as Thomas' overbearing moral code that constantly tries push harsh rules rooted in Catholic Christianity onto Thomas and the other sides. He is extremely passive aggressive and overly judgmental towards the sides he deems, "wrong." Almost everything he says is a critisism of something Thomas or the other sides do. Despite being so harsh however, he loves puns and making jokes just as much the OG Patton, and loves to torture Logan with his puns.

Logan: Logan takes Remus' place as the bad influence Thomas tries to ignore. He is seen as Thomas' inner critique who judges Thomas for everything he does. He insists that Thomas' lifestyle is, "childish," and that he should abandon it for a, "mature," way of living so that he can live, "a normal, healthy life." He is extremely judgmental and criticizes all the sides for the smallest of details, making everyone hate him, even Janus. Despite this, he generally harmless, and he can easily be ignored.

Virgil: Virgil takes the Orange Side's place as the mysterious secret side that the fandom makes a million theories about. I can't fully explain who he would be, since, again, we haven't been introduced to the Orange Side yet. But for now, he still represents Thomas' anxiety. And when he reveals himself, he will call Thomas and all the sides out on their BS.

That's all for now. It isn't fully developed, and things will surely change when the Orange Side finally does reveal himself. But there's still a lot of things I would like to share. So please let me know if you want know more!

[ts-sides-head-canon]

Sanders sides dream job headcannons because I was at a cat cafe, and it reminded me of Patton!

Roman: Famous actor or Pop star! That one's quite clear.

Virgil: Rock star in a band! If only he wasn't such an anxious boi.

Logan: Scientist! That's also quite clear.

Patton: Cat cafe! Baking and cute animals, it would be perfect if not for his allergy!

Remus: Horror novelist! He could be the next Stephen King!

Janus: Three options I'm stuck between; Lawyer, Broadway actor, or reptile breeder!

What do you think? Any jobs you think fit better?

I love these!

[robertdownerjunior]

listen, I love 'adorable sweetheart x a literal demon' as much as the next guy but we have to appreciate the trope that is 'a literal demon x an absolute piece of shit human'

[howam-i-theparent]

Remus: Come one Ro, we need to go, stop hugging your girlfriend.

Roman: Janus is not my girlfriend! He’s a guy!

Remus (turns to Janus): oh, my apologies

Remus (turns back to Roman): Stop hugging your boyfriend! We need to go!

[twofacedbelief]

human-shaped trickster just has a halo huh

they want to be a saint so badly

[darkboysroadtrip]

i have a question of my own and one from that thing

we know the twins parents are loaded but what about vee and dee? they went to the same boarding school it has to be bougie right? ? ?

and 80 for everyone please tell me some of you have hidden piercings - ❓

"I suppose it was pretty fancy" Dee muses, "I wouldn't have called my father loaded but he was very well off... I don't actually think he put any kind of thought into the boarding school he put me in - I'm sure he just chose the first one he looked up and didn't care about the rest."

"I think" Virgil starts, "that him not looking at the price of a boarding school that he shoved you into for years may indicate that he was indeed: loaded."

"Hmm, well he did come into quite a bit of money after my mother died" the tone he says this in is almost unnoticable but you can detect some accusation in it.

"Mm, true" Virgil says, "and uh my parents are pretty rich I suppose - but they're... they're that kind of rich where they're not the richest and they want to present like they are so they're all about the pomp and circumstance and fakeness all around ya know?"

He scowls, "it's annoying as fuck, at least I got myself disowned from all that - it's nice being free."

"Boy!" Remus inserts himself cheerfully, "I sure am glad there's a more funner question after that one!"

The other two snicker - Dee responds, "me too, parent stuff is always so..."

"Uuuuugh?" Virgil supplies after Dee's silence.

"Ah yes thank you - you took the words right out of my brain."

Virgil shrugs with a playful smirk, "yeah no problem, always here to give the most elegant of responses."

"I am sorry to inform you though" Dee says addressing you guys again, "that both myself and Virgil do not have any hidden piercings."

"That's a lie" Virgil says.

Dee looks genuinely confused before Virgil explains himself.

"They can't see the industrial in your right ear."

Dee scoffs playfully, "that does not count! Remus has actual hidden piercings."

Remus smiles widely, "I do! unless you guys have seen me without my clothes on..." he trails off in thought, "wait have they seen me nakie?"

"No I don't think they have" Dee tells him.

"Unless you've done things in the camera that we don't know about" Virgil adds.

"Not that I know of I haven't! but I can show one of em, it's just on my nip-nop!"

"I don't have any fun piercings" Roman says, "I might in the future but as it stands my face needs to be clear of such nice sparkly things - alas I must be content with just my ears being done."

Patton giggles at Roman's dramatic tone, "I'm sure you can get some if ya wanted Ro, no one is going to turn you down for a role!"

Roman's face goes soft, "you are so sweet and probably right... should - should I get a piercing?"

"If ya wanna!" Patton says excitedly, "oh we can look for somewhere at this place you're taking us!"

"I should shouldn't I!" Roman declares and immediately starts tap tap tapping on his phone now very focused on the information he's reading.

"And he's gone" Logan says affectionately, "to answer your question - I do not have any piercings at all, I used to when I was younger but I have taken all of those out when I started teaching kindergarten."

"You're so professional Lolo, I'm sure the kids would get a kick out of some face metal!"

"I'm sure they would as well, unfortunately the school and most parents do not take kindly to it."

Patton sighs out a motorboat, "yeah well maybe they should stop being so stuck up."

Logan smiles, "agreed, do you want to tell them about your piercing?"

"I only have the one on my belly! it's very jangle-y!"

[5am-the-foxing-hour]

I was suddenly struck with this idea for the Switched Up AU.... whelp...

Janus: I think he... likes me. Virgil: Likes you? Please, Deceit, that's demented. Janus: Anxiety I... Virgil: This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole idea that you've invented just proves, you're too naive to be here... Why would he like you? Come on now - really! Look at you! You think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with me, Anxiety knows... Janus: No! Virgil: No?! Oh. I see how it is. Deceit knows best Deceit's so mature now Such a clever grown-up man, Deceit knows best. Fine, if you're so sure now. Go ahead, then show him this! Janus: How did you..! Virgil: This is why you made him let you stay! Don't let his foolishness deceive you! Give it to him, watch, you'll see! Janus: I will! Virgil: Trust me, my dear, That's how fast he'll leave you I won't say I told you so - no Deceit knows best! So if you're so sure he's ready, Go and put him to the test Janus: Anxiety wait! Virgil: If he's lying Don't come crying! Anxiety knows best!

[bonker-bananas]

okokok SO I saw your post about Sanders Sides board games and I raise you: Patton LOVES Everdell but only because it's so darn cute. He has no clue what he's doing but he's having the best time assigning everyone he knows their own little animals.

okay absolutely YES you are very correct. he and janus are the only ones willing to play it with logan btw. it is mildly frustrating to logan that he has to guide patton through pretty much every turn but it is canceled out by the fact that he is very grateful for patton being willing to play it with him.

[frogdaddypatton]

Logan- Adaine

Patton- Gorgug

Roman- Fabian

Virgil- Fig

Janus- Riz

Remus- Kristen