#sustainability perspective
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rayveneyed · 7 months ago
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cw: sexually explicit content / blood / relatively light sadomasochism / age + experience gap (reader is older + more experienced) / sub!choso / vampires 🧛‍♀️ / sex and violence as two sides of the same coin /
choso kamo is 160 years old when he meets you.
in those years of walking the earth, undead, he believes he’s embraced his vampirism as much as he possibly can. the broiling self-hatred he had once found solace in has reduced to a simmer, strongest in those moments of blood and guts and weakening heartbeats; and although he often avoids crowds, and companionship, and light, he no longer believes himself to be a slave of his own nature.
to be true — in the grand scheme of immortality, of vampirism — he isn’t anywhere close to the level of control he’d wish to have. often, when indulging yuji’s desire to enjoy the world as he did before his death — boardwalks and arcades and cotton candy — he feels his canines aching in his gums, stretching until they dimple against his bottom lip.
it’s not comfortable. it’s not confident. but even despite the growing aches, he’s no longer cowering in alleyways; no longer drinking from poor stray cats and garbage-chewing rats to momentarily satiate that ever-growing, gnawing hunger. he has some sense of control—
“oh, you baby-bats. so adorable.”
control which he now flounders to grab.
a sharp, inky black nail scrapes up the column of his neck — he can’t help but arch into it, head tilting back until his wide, pupil-blown eyes find the ceiling, with its intricate coving and obsidian chandeliers. the music from the main hall is nothing but a buzzing in the back of his head; thoughts of his friends’ whereabouts, an afterthought. your fingernail crowds the underneath of his jaw and stops at where his pulse point would have thrummed, would he have been alive.
you’re a demon. a devil. a she-beast. a succubus. any horrid, terrible name he could call you, he will — dressed in blacks and burgundies and gold older than him, your lips painted an ox-blood red and your eyes as sharp and dark as any polished knife. in your hands he is small. weak. mortal.
“satoru usually keeps his strays away, after last time,” you say, pouting now, though it’s a crude approximation of sadness — even now, your eyes glint with devilment. “so mean, when he knows i have a weak spot for bats like you.”
that wretched finger stretches up; pokes at his bottom lip, scrapes against the fangs that had — embarrassingly — extended from his gums at the simple weight of you on top of him.
“look at that,” you coo, and your grin is something unsettling, something that curdles in the pit of his stomach and heats between his legs. “excited, pup?”
his answering breath comes ragged, and it’s always more embarrassing than it was when he was human. his heart doesn’t work, his lungs do not work, and he has no need to breathe — in fact, he lost the reflex to do so around 92 years ago — but his brain is scrambled, it seems, wilted neurons confusing signals from almost two centuries ago. “i’m — ahem — i’m okay, duchess.”
“how sweet. you don’t have to call me by my title, you know. my name will do just fine.” at his silence, you push yourself up from where you’d been laying low against his chest — looking far too excited when you say: “unless, of course, you like it.”
his hands tremble at his side. he can’t remember the last time he’s indulged in — in debauchery. the last time someone’s made him feel like they’re holding his heart in their hands. over the past hundred-odd years, he’s avoided it like the plague, and for good reason — most vampires aren’t known for their commitment, let’s just say. and now you’re on top of him looking like every sin he’s tried to avoid, and he’s straining so hard in his pants he fears he’ll cum before you even hint at removing a single article of clothing.
you press yourself flush again, nosing at his neck. he knows, for the first time in his long life, what it feels like to be prey. is this what his victims had felt when he ripped into their throats, young and inexperienced and bloodthirsty? did their vulnerability sit like a stone in their throats?
a groan comes from you, suddenly, and your tongue darts out to lave against his skin. choso’s answering moan is more of a whimper, broken and weak in his mouth, but you don’t seem to notice — or care. he flexes his glutes in an effort to stop himself from rutting up against you — not only would it be embarrassing, desperate, but it would be rude. this is your house, after all. your soirée. your gilded halls and bedazzled walls. your silk sheets against his back. your satin skirt bunched around your waist.
“tell me, pup,” you say, and he fights the instinctual reflex to shiver at the brush of your lips against his skin, “have you ever fed from our own?”
“hm?” it’s a sound of confusion brought half on by his simple lack of knowledge, and half on by his slow-processing brain. only seconds after does he fully register your question, and the eyes he hadn’t realised he had screwed shut flew open. “no. i — i didn’t know that was possible.”
all at once, you’re sitting up again — swinging your leg over his hips until you’re standing. it wouldn’t be right to call it clambering — you are impossibly graceful, even passed the agility and elegance that comes with the gift of the undead. his hands reach for you before he can stop them, a sound like a question on his tongue, and you send him the sweetest, most tooth-rotting, stomach-turning smile. he thinks he likes your biting, cruel grins more, though you’re lovely regardless.
you begin to reach for the ties of your corset at your spine — just another thing that makes his mouth water. people didn’t wear these sorts of clothes anymore, not in the human world. but he remembers the skirts and corsets from paintings of noblewomen hundreds of years ago, and how he’d admire the curve of their waists, the swell of their chests—
“of course, satoru wouldn’t tell you. why would he?”
his eyes snap up from your chest, caught with his hand in the cookie jar. but you don’t seem to mind. the corset is removed painfully slowly, for no other reason than to torture him; then, the outer dress, with its carmine satin and intricate embroidery. you throw it to the floor carelessly, as if the most knowledgeable museum curators wouldn’t prostrate themselves at your feet for the simple chance to display it for millions to see — a while his eyes drink up the sight of more skin, the whisper of form beneath your underdress and bloomers, you near him once more.
metal to a magnet, a moth to flame, he pulls himself to the edge of the bed. you find a place between his legs and grasp his chin, and choso can’t look away from you.
“i can take you apart and put you back together,” you say — promise — voice like crushed velvet, quiet and creeping like a choking vine. your thumb smooths over his cheek and ends at its apple, where you press the sharp tip of your nail into his flesh. “i can show you the pleasures of your eternal life, and its pains, and everything in between. i can bring you to every edge, and draw you back from them just as quick — and it will be painful, and you’ll enjoy it so much you won’t be able to go another day without it.”
he’s lost the ability to speak. his unmoving heart is in his throat — or in your hands, or between your sharp teeth. you tilt your head and regard him with knowing, twinkling eyes.
“all you have to say, pup, is yes.”
oh, it’s out of him so quick he can hardly keep up — a word so breathy you’d swear you’d already had your way with him. but embarrassment is a thing of the past when your smile stretches, and you murmur marvellous. you release him from your grasp, much to his chagrin, but when you begin pulling down your bloomers his attention shifts.
he can smell you. smell you. the musky, salty scent of between your legs — a smell that has his mouth watering and his fingers cramping from how hard he fists the sheets. your bloomers are damp when you discard them, sticky with your arousal, and pride glows in choso’s chest. he didn’t do much, but it seemed enough — if he had only let himself lose control, hump up against you harder, perhaps it would’ve stained his clothes; seeped through your layers and onto his lap. he’d go home and hold it over his nose until the scent faded, and perhaps after.
“new as you are,” you say, climbing onto your bed once more and reclining back against the numerous pillows — huffing a mean-sounding laugh when he crawls after you. “i’ll do you the mercy of taking it easy, just this once. oh, don’t make that face — you look like a kicked puppy. i promise you’ll enjoy what i have in store for you.”
and you hike up your underdress, and spread your legs. choso’s mouth waters — the thick smattering of hair on your mons, your flower-like labia, shiny with your arousal. and your clit, peeking out from its hood, pink and shiny and begging to have his mouth on it. but as if this wasn’t enough — as if he wasn’t already scrabbling to get between your legs — you take one of those long, sharp nails, and drag it against your inner thigh. the skin splits. blood trickles down from the wound like a river of gold, flowing into the crease between your thighs and your pussy, and it smells ambrosial. if his fangs were aching before, they’re screaming, now. this isn’t human blood; this is richer, sweeter, creamier. delectable. hedonistic. you’ll make a glutton of him.
“after all,” you say, grinning wickedly, “i’m treating you to a most delectable meal.”
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tou-dai · 3 months ago
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Update, To Whom Gives a Fuck:
I am in a better spot now. I can't say much more except THANK YOU.
But also: I still need help.
I'm not on my feet yet and not where I need to be.
If you're able to help me out, I'd really appreciate anything.
I can also draw for you, if you'd like. I can basically get my hands to do about anything -- but I'm trying to keep it simple like a portrait or a single character bc of spoon supply.
venmo: @torchport
cashapp: $onepeaceman
..
.
All this being said, my experiences and reading thus far have led me to consider some things more deeply and more radically than I have before.
Mostly, they've strengthened my resolve to do the right thing.
In part, they've convinced me of what I need to do and how I could do so in a healthy manner.
Lastly, they've convinced me of why my perspective, praxis, and perseverance is needed.
..
.
Basically: just be a good guy and be myself while helping others.
🤷🏽‍♂️
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arttsuka · 1 month ago
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Happy new year!!! I hope you feel better soon and don't worry about how much art you're posting, because your art is so beautiful and amazing that even one drawing can sustain me for a year <3 <3 <3
Happy new year :)
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system-of-a-feather · 1 year ago
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You know, when old people (diagnostic for "old" being anyone who says this and not age) say "You are lucky, when I was your age / started I (difficult and arguably fucked up and unethical situation they had to deal with that is no longer the case)" I really want to respond with
"...? I don't feel as though it is lucky for me that you were mistreated and had to suffer like that. You shouldn't have had to and thats messed up."
Cause I really don't feel as though I should be thankful for people NOT treating me as less than human and/or as an asset to work to maximum level. I think you should reflect and be upset about how you were treated and take that upset and direct it towards making sure future generations don't have to deal with it.
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roseofcards90 · 1 year ago
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I love anthropology I love anthropology as a field so much!!!
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sun-marie · 1 year ago
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It's been a while since I last thought seriously about Dr*gon A*e (even prior to falling in love with BG3) and I think a big part of that is I'm not as big a fan of the setting and the worldbuilding as I used to be. Like to me it really does feel like BW looked at typical fantasy settings and went "hmm okay but what if there was Catholic-enforced racism and abelism". And like. Cool thought experiment bro. Do we really need three games made by primarily white guys about that.
#dragon age critical#marie speaks#idk if ableism is the best comparison for mage oppression but idk you get my larger point#I've heard that DA was supposedly BW's critical response to settings like Forgotten Realms after making the og BG games#and idk if that's true but I'd be willing to believe that bc that's what a lot of it's world building feels like#“oh u thought the elves where gonna be ethereal and respected? nah they're a haphazard blend of irl oppressed groups”#“oh u thought this fantasy world was gonna have a plethora of interesting and dynamic deities and gods? nah it's just fantasy Catholicism”#“oh u thought people who can use magic would have respected places in society? nah they're locked in jail for being Different”#like I feel like these ideas were kinda cool for one game. An expanded thought experiment#but idk if they were strong enough to sustain an entire franchise#without significantly expanding their pool of writers to get the perspectives of people they're attempting to represent at least#but that's a whole different issue#anyway DA has some legit cool concepts like the Grey Wardens that I will always love#and most of their early character work is still really strong#but for me every time that setting rears it's head problems arise#anyway if you're still a DA fan that's totally fine! I'm very happy for you!#don't let my salty ramblings spoil what resonates with you from these games#I'm just reflecting bc it used to be a huge part of my life especially through like all of highschool#and now it's just. not.
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jewelsli · 4 months ago
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I was thinking about how, I’m general, you don’t really see magic in the DC universe outside of Earth(maybe it’s just me but I’ve only seen like one reference towards it) and how on Earth we have Fawcett(idk if it’s canon but I say that it’s where all key lines intersect so it’s… something). It got me thinking that maybe Earth is like Space Fawcett(yes I do love the Earth is space Australia posts) and maybe it’s where all the universal ley lines intersect or something??? Idk just something I was thinking about
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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Worst thing about having taken business classes is that I see people complain about bullshit companies are pulling and a part of my brain goes "Oh, that's an effective tactic for cost reduction" or something around those lines. And then the part of my brain that is Not a wannabe businessman is just like "Bro."
#speculation nation#or anything on data management or anything like that. bfkshfmsbd#been learning about company perspectives and what have you. unfortunately i understand businesses more than i ever planned to.#such is the IT major at my school </3 i did already finish my business classes already#but im in data governance class now which deals a lot with the ways companies handle their data.#learning about policies and harm reduction tactics and data lifecycles and what have you#looking at the scaffolding of a company's data system and recognizing just how fragile it all is.#a side effect of all this is me feeling less angry about websites trying to make money.#advertisements and subscription services are aggravating. but hosting a website is *expensive*.#if they cant at least break even then the website is a resource drain and isnt sustainable in the long run.#not unless it's a damned passion project of a bigger conglomerate. and you'll find those are exceedingly rare.#so im annoyed by advertisements as much as the next person. but if theyre kept relatively unobtrusive then i dont mind them too much.#now ads that pop up to cover the whole screen. or god forbid youtube's unskippable 30+ second ads#THOSE are so obnoxious. the youtube ads especially.#had a few of those some weeks back when prepping my presentation that had me wanting to tear my hair out.#30+ seconds and NO SOUND EITHER. literally ridiculous.#anyways im definitely not a business sympathizer Especially when it comes to predatory practices#but for those more daily functions kinds of things... idk man sometimes these things just gotta happen.
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age-of-moonknight · 11 months ago
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“Soldier,” Vengeance of the Moon Knight (Vol. 2/2024), #3.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Vengeance of the Moon Knight#Vengeance of the Moon Knight vol. 2#Vengeance of the Moon Knight 2024#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Soldier#Tigra#Greer Nelson#I love this distinction between what Moon Knight does/did in vol. 9 compared to other heroes#don’t get me wrong I obviously love Spider-Man (and only to a slightly lesser extent Daredevil) but this is a cool difference#feels a little more grounded almost like community defense as opposed to a high-flying cape issue#also fascinating comparing to a drug implying these low level villains are thrill seekers/adrenaline junkies#but most critically…hmmm….this may just be more indicative of my own perspective than anything (bear with me)#but interestingly those last two text boxes on finding the balance between keeping a group too scared to make a move#and not so scared that they get desperate/have nothing left to lose#is very similar to the basis of a theory of counterinsurgency#that an iron fist can keep a group from developing means + will to organize but the ruling regime must be careful#to not be too cruel or else it will push the group into survival mode/win it sympathy from the local or international population#(it’s very reminiscent of Machiavelli’s The Prince)#Mind you it’s a theory usually entertained by authoritarian regimes where people have few de facto civil rights#and its efficacy/sustainability’s debatable as it takes one hiccup with the regime (markedly weak ruler/secession crisis/natural disaster/#excessive use of force/etc) for the insurgency to flair up again#Marc’s past with the CIA is mentioned in this issue so I wonder if that’s what this is all about#but uuuuuh yeah do with that info what you will sorry hahaha#don’t mind me rambling in the tags
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omegaphilosophia · 8 months ago
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The Philosophy of the Rights of Nature
The philosophy of the rights of nature represents a paradigm shift in how we view and interact with the natural world. Traditionally, nature has been seen as a resource for human use, but this perspective advocates for recognizing the intrinsic value and legal rights of natural entities. This philosophy challenges anthropocentric worldviews and seeks to establish a more harmonious relationship between humans and the environment by recognizing the rights of ecosystems, species, and natural processes.
Key Themes in the Philosophy of the Rights of Nature
Intrinsic Value of Nature:
Central to this philosophy is the idea that nature has value beyond its utility to humans. Natural entities have their own right to exist, thrive, and evolve.
This perspective emphasizes the moral duty to respect and protect nature for its own sake.
Legal Personhood for Nature:
One of the most revolutionary aspects of this philosophy is the proposal to grant legal personhood to natural entities such as rivers, forests, and ecosystems.
Legal personhood would allow nature to have rights that can be defended in court, similar to corporations or individuals.
Interconnectedness of Life:
This philosophy highlights the interconnectedness of all life forms. Human well-being is deeply linked to the health of the natural environment.
By protecting the rights of nature, we also ensure the long-term sustainability and health of human communities.
Ecocentrism vs. Anthropocentrism:
The rights of nature philosophy advocates for an ecocentric approach, which places ecological well-being at the center of decision-making.
This contrasts with anthropocentric approaches that prioritize human interests over ecological health.
Ethical Responsibility:
This philosophy asserts that humans have an ethical responsibility to protect and preserve nature.
It calls for a shift from exploitation and domination to stewardship and respect.
Indigenous Perspectives:
Many Indigenous cultures have long recognized the rights of nature and the deep connection between humans and the environment.
The philosophy of the rights of nature often draws on these Indigenous worldviews and knowledge systems.
Environmental Justice:
The rights of nature philosophy is closely linked to environmental justice, which seeks to address the disproportionate impact of environmental degradation on marginalized communities.
Recognizing the rights of nature can help ensure that environmental protections are applied equitably and justly.
Global Movement:
The movement for the rights of nature is gaining traction worldwide, with several countries and localities recognizing legal rights for natural entities.
Notable examples include Ecuador, which enshrined the rights of nature in its constitution, and New Zealand, which granted legal personhood to the Whanganui River.
Challenges and Criticisms:
Critics of the rights of nature argue that granting legal rights to nature could lead to legal and practical complications.
There are also debates about how to balance the rights of nature with human development needs.
Future Implications:
Recognizing the rights of nature has profound implications for law, governance, and ethics.
It could lead to new forms of environmental governance that prioritize ecological sustainability and the well-being of all life forms.
The philosophy of the rights of nature represents a transformative approach to our relationship with the environment. By recognizing the intrinsic value and legal rights of natural entities, this philosophy seeks to create a more just, sustainable, and respectful coexistence between humans and the natural world. It challenges us to rethink our ethical responsibilities and to develop legal frameworks that honor and protect the rights of nature.
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so I bought that razor that takes actual razor blades and the blades it came with ran out which led me into the fascinating world of shaving as a hobby and the main thing that has been really interesting is that most razor blades are made in places we never normally see products imported from. Like a ton of them are made in egypt I'm assuming because they still have a robust shaving as a service culture. A lot of them are from russia and are now hard to get/being produced elsewhere which leads to discussions about how to tell if you have the russian made ones or not. In general they're not expensive when you find a supplier but also they are not for sale in normal american chain stores like at all. Maybe one option online that everyone agrees sucks. just fascinating how we have completely idk. both dumbed down and completely futurized this daily practice compared to other places
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apcseo · 9 months ago
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Elevate Your Brand with Effective Brand Management Agency Services
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Elevate your brand with effective brand management agency services. Learn about the role of brand management agencies, the services they offer, and the benefits of hiring them.
In today's competitive marketplace, building a strong brand presence is essential for success. A well-managed brand not only differentiates your business from competitors but also creates lasting connections with consumers, fosters loyalty, and drives revenue growth. However, managing a brand effectively requires expertise, time, and resources that many businesses may not possess internally. This is where a professional brand management agency can make a significant difference.
What is a Brand Management Agency?
A brand management agency is a specialized firm that offers a comprehensive range of services aimed at building, enhancing, and protecting a brand's reputation and equity. These agencies work closely with businesses to develop strategic branding initiatives, manage brand communications, and ensure consistent brand messaging across all touchpoints.
Services Offered by Brand Management Agencies
1. Brand Strategy Development: Brand management agencies start by developing a clear and cohesive brand strategy tailored to the client's goals, target audience, and competitive landscape. This involves defining brand positioning, values, messaging, and brand architecture.
2. Brand Identity Design: A strong visual identity is crucial for brand recognition and recall. Brand management agencies create compelling brand identities, including logos, color palettes, typography, and brand guidelines, to ensure consistency and coherence in brand representation.
3. Brand Communication: Consistent and effective communication is key to building brand awareness and engagement. Brand management agencies develop integrated communication strategies encompassing traditional and digital channels such as advertising, public relations, social media, and content marketing.
4. Brand Experience Optimization: Every interaction a consumer has with a brand shapes their perception and loyalty. Brand management agencies focus on optimizing the brand experience across all touchpoints, including product packaging, website design, retail environments, and customer service.
5. Brand Monitoring and Reputation Management: Brand management agencies monitor brand mentions, customer feedback, and market trends to proactively manage brand reputation. They employ various tools and strategies to address potential issues, mitigate risks, and maintain a positive brand image.
6. Brand Extension and Licensing: Brand management agencies explore opportunities for brand extension and licensing to expand the brand's reach and revenue streams. This may involve partnerships, collaborations, or the development of new products and services aligned with the brand's values and identity.
Benefits of Hiring a Brand Management Agency
1. Expertise and Experience: Brand management agencies bring specialized expertise and experience to the table, allowing businesses to benefit from best practices, industry insights, and creative solutions that drive brand success.
2. Time and Resource Savings: Outsourcing brand management to a dedicated agency frees up internal resources and allows businesses to focus on core activities while leveraging the agency's capabilities and networks.
3. Strategic Perspective: Brand management agencies offer an external perspective and fresh insights that can help businesses identify new opportunities, overcome challenges, and stay ahead of industry trends.
4. Consistency and Coherence: By centralizing brand management activities, agencies ensure consistency and coherence in brand representation, messaging, and customer experience across all channels and touchpoints.
5. Measurable Results: Brand management agencies employ metrics and analytics to track the performance and impact of branding initiatives, enabling businesses to measure ROI and make data-driven decisions.
In today's dynamic business landscape, effective brand management is more important than ever. By partnering with a reputable brand management agency, businesses can elevate their brand presence, connect with consumers on a deeper level, and drive sustainable growth and success. Whether you're a startup looking to establish your brand identity or an established company seeking to revitalize your brand, investing in professional brand management services can be a strategic decision with long-term benefits.
This post was originally published on: Apppl Combine
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sleevebuscemii · 10 months ago
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unfortunately for everyone and all of us everywhere. the way to heal from living a shitty life is for your life to get better.
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chaos-coming · 2 years ago
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Yall dont understand how much i missed the forest. And i mean a real forest, not the sterilized, neutered monoculture devoid of life and energy that they call forest in central europe.
Since we as humans are part of a larger community of living beings, we can sense the life around us on an intrinsic level. And we can sense its absence. And if you start to notice the life and energy around you, those sterilized environments feel like sensory deprivation, like wearing figurative earplugs.
It really hit home for me just now, how absolutely destroyed central europe is on an ecological level. Every new day, every new place i get to witness, just refirms this understanding. There is a desperate need for rewilding in this region, to allow natural communities to heal and restore diversity and variance and the chaos that is life on this planet.
But first and foremost there is a need to shift cultural values in the region, before any kind of rewilding can happen. A while back there was this viral post about a french couple demanding the culling of wolves after witnessing a wolf hunting in their backyard. What should be a rare and incredible experience, a privilege and a pleasure to see (and an indicator that the natural communities of the alps have the potential to revive) - to them was a nuciance and a threat to their orderly idyllic cottagecore fsntasy world. It's like their whole culture never moved past the middle ages mentality of achieving safety by "taming" the wild places.
And i've genuinely had (frustrating) conversations with forestry and conservation students from central europe who are literally Afraid of natural forests. Theyre "too wild" and chaotic, lacking the order and control theyre accustomed to in all other parts of their country's society, and require intensive management to bring it to submission and be a "propper" forest. In their eyes, the forest is a resource only growing timber and looking like a city park for them to walk through. Anything that makes obtaining wood more difficult or less profitable is a Problem and needs to be fixed. They dont have any pespective on what an actual natural forest looks and feels like, and look at you like youre an alien if you say what they have arent real forests.
It shows that cultural values in this part of the world stand in direct opposition to the principles of rewilding and re-estsblishing harmony with our place the larger biological community.
So before any large scale restoration can be considered, before actual nature can be brought back to central europe, as desperately as it is needed - not just for its own intrinsic value and right to exist, but also for resillience in the face of the climate crisis - there needs to be a cultural shift that will tolerate coexistence with things that live for their own sake rather than direct human benefit, and which cannot and will not be fundamentally changed to their liking.
And therein lies the crux of this ideology: the rejection of anything that is different from them and will not be subjugated. The need to homogenize everything in their own image. And this mindset is the nucleus at the heart of imperialism. Which is why you cannot separate nature conservation from the ongoing legacy of colonialism, even in the imperial core, and why decolonization needs to be the foundation for any kind of restoration effort.
Tldr: There can be no rewilding of central europe until there is decolonization of european mindsets.
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turiyatitta · 2 years ago
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The Universal Tapestry
Revelations From The Pinnacle of Spiritual PerceptionIntroduction:Imagine for a moment transcending the confines of your individual self and embracing the consciousness of all life forms across the universe. This peak spiritual experience, where one sees from every possible perspective, holds transformative potential. But what exactly happens, and why is this beneficial?The Tapestry of…
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago
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that moment when: everyone's lives are restricted and constricted and these imposed consequences are attributed to anyone's continual individual failures to seek, find, and follow the Correct Path through Life, and so everyone is left on their own to only be seeking & finding these failures as well as the only answer to how their lives can be better....versus Not seeing the world as the free marketplace meritocracy of everyone's personal failures/successes, nor everything in your own life, and thus not forever having to scrutinize Where You Must Be Bringing It Upon Yourself by fucking up or at least failing to do the correct thing, and exist only in perpetual punishment for your ongoing failure and occasional temporary reprieves from it. recognizing everything that wasn't & isn't & wouldn't be [this is because you're bringing it upon yourself] and thus having more capacity & capability to look at the realm of your personal individual self, reality, experiences, life through the perpetual instances of seeking, finding, and following your own needs/wants through one's inherent personhood and exercises of autonomy and recognition of where & when & how one recognizes moments of their existing freely & in more resonant genuine alignment with themself, you know? endless examples to be found in endless fractals of [where & how are people's lives made smaller]. and that of course this doesn't preclude the ability/option at any time to question one's choices, since you'll be able to find more Actual choices available to you (and, also crucially, find more actual choices made by others that are in the pursuit of limiting Yours) to look at, and people getting to exercise their autonomy isn't the same as "everyone doing anything they want regardless of how it affects others" since that [how does it affect others?] element instead being Regarded would be able to lead to recognizing that, in fact, an effect might be the infringement on others' autonomy, hence: There's A Problem....like the ability to just go ham with [questioning???] anything in existence, certainly including oneself, b/c the "norm" is such that rather you're only supposed to be able to question yourself for your failings (or those positioned as less than, thus, beneath you) and not even have the language to express a questioning of aspects of life beyond that b/c stop calling anyone "cis" they're just Normal, Just Be Normal and it would all be fine
#brought to you by: i think one of my feelings lately of A Shift is in my less than ever running this like continuous background function of#looking for Thee Answer (just like the black suits) in any & everything that could serve as the Key to like. whatever could fit into place#to like set things on a [hell yeah. life? better] path. juxtaposing this recent sense of things with the [lol. in retrospect i Do see a new#context wherein i can Recognize smthing abt myself] past going on of like. granpa greentext story be me be fifteen i'm in college b/c i hat#school i also mostly assumed i'd probably fail out freshman yr but didn't. i've never known what i'd wanna major in & as a sophomore i'm de#supposed to figure it out in time for scheduling my jr yr classes (though Ideally have known from the start / been scheduling thusly) & so#many evenings during dinner i'm furiously perusing the daily print news as i've been doing for some yrs to Keep Up W/Current Events but now#also consciously like ''boy i hope in the course of doing this i stumble across some info that sparks some eureka moment of Getting what my#major should Obviously be so i can understand the rest of my life around [do job] b/c i sure as hell don't understand it around [be married#much less [be parent] so one option remains obvi'' whereas now i realize like lol you Were figuring out a guiding light in doing so & that#perspective being honed was one of Having A Political Analysis times....which also provides another Example of [only being able to interpre#what makes your life & your world the way it is: via Your Personal Failures to have already Had Better] in that just like i often forget i#misguidedly (but also reasonably; clearly also using & seeking that autonomy & freedom) tried to have a better existence within the#situation i was in by Coming Out As Trans to parents via an email that was then not directly discussed ever; b/c any legitimate discussion#was not permissible like how so many matters of [supposed correct existence] are Unspeakable so as to be Unquestionable#languaging that succeeds & sustains itself having to be expansive / flexible / creative / evolving too. Making Up Words hell yes#anyways so i also forget i Did try to propose majoring in things that Did more approach what i was suspecting were things i'd wanna do#but even the first like expression of anything on the periphery of that was met with ''no you'd hate it b/c you'd have to deal w/Stupid Ppl#every day'' (by which was meant; with believed inherent synonymity: poor people) & then i also will oft forget i pushed for it any further#which i Know i did b/c of it next being met with angry & aggressive ''i've never heard you talk abt that interest before So''#(wonder why? withholding info to protect yourself=finding room in one's life for existing more freely; exercising the autonomy to Do That)#but it's easy to forget b/c The All Encompassing Perspective was rather [i'm sure Failing to just Know my major for the sole possibility fo#defining one's entire life: The Correct Dream Job] & then Failing to push it or just express it & be understood ''correctly'' even if i Did#have any ideas in that realm. vs seeing how i Was succeeding & was recognizing shit & pursuing it & looking out for myself & etccc#it's undeniable lol like the framing even that Blaming Oneself is an autonomy seeking response. b/c your autonomous power in your own life#sure Would be more immediate if Everything Really Was Your Fault (when ofc really this is abt obscuring & denying the responsibility of ppl#who have the power over others' lives & then have to act like this is all the fault of the Others; they themselves have never Truly Chosen)#no victim blaming no condemnation of anyone's ''passivity'' here babey#re: the undeniability it's how like. maybe you've only Just realized you're not cis but in doing so it's like ''oh That's what i already#recognizing in various ways throughout my whole life'' it's all always Been there/going on & perspex shifts + new lenses can reveal them
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