#so im annoyed by advertisements as much as the next person. but if theyre kept relatively unobtrusive then i dont mind them too much.

[orcelito]

Worst thing about having taken business classes is that I see people complain about bullshit companies are pulling and a part of my brain goes "Oh, that's an effective tactic for cost reduction" or something around those lines. And then the part of my brain that is Not a wannabe businessman is just like "Bro."

[steviesays]

In depth analysis of Solo: a Star Wars Story

wow that title makes it look like this wasn’t just me rambling for 4 whole ass pages on word, but I wanted to give you guys all of my thoughts and reactions on the movie. All of the spoilers are going to be under the cut and I’ll continue to tag spoilers for solo for the next two weeks, so until JUNE 8TH so none of you are allowed to yell at me for spoiling the movie. 

alright yall here we go im going to start with the plot and move into the characters the same way I did for tlj.

After coming out of this movie, it took me the entire ride home to process and think about whether I even liked it or not. When I got home, I had a two hour long conversation with my brother on the purpose of all of these movies rather than on what the movie is about because hes a fake fan and didn’t go see it last night. But anyway, after giving a brief synopsis with as little spoilers as possible, we kind of came to the consensus that this movie didn’t really matter, plot wise. It was kind of just made to sell tickets (even though they didn’t even sell tickets because there was no promo). Literally the whole movie was just an adventure that Han Solo went on, there was no real character arc, Han was the same person he was at the end as he was at the beginning, the only real development was him meeting chewie and lando and getting the millennium falcon. Did we really HAVE to see the kessel run, like yeah it was cool, but having the whole movie based around that? I feel like we were all kind of expecting more of a backstory, which is what it was kind of advertised as, and I think it would have been more effective, at least from a fan perspective, to have seen what Han’s life was when he was a child on Correlia. We still have no information on his parents, except for his dad was apparently a mechanic that wanted to be a pilot. We don’t know how he became orphaned or how he ended up with that fucking lizard monster thing, how he met Qi’ra, or how any of this affected him. I think they just started the movie at a bad spot, but that decision was made to maximize profit. I guess no casual movie goer would want to see han solo roughing it through some angst, but for people that are fully invested in star wars? It was just kind of a pointless action movie.

Other than that, it was a decent movie overall. I didn’t walk out of it pissed like I did with tlj, it kind of just made me feel nothing. Like I knew all this shit before, I didn’t need to see it in a two hour film. Him meeting chewie and lando, getting the falcon and doing the kessel run in 12 parsecs were things that were already established. There was nothing really spectacular about this movie it kind of just exists as a plot extender, rather than something that moves the plot forward or gives us major insights. I guess they can get away with it being useful to plot by the scene at the end that establishes to everyone that Darth Maul is still alive and fucking up the galaxy, but they could have just made their own damn darth maul movie, which is probably coming anyway based on that scene.

 But now that I’ve dragged the movie enough, lets get into the characters because I have a lot to say. There were characters that I really liked, characters that had a lot of potential, and characters that I hated.

Lets start with han. I really liked him in this movie and I like the actor they got for him, I think he did a really great job showing han’s snark and egoism while also keeping his inner goodness and making sure the audience was sympathetic. As I said before, he didn’t really develop much as a character, he was born a scoundrel and stayed that way. His quest to do whatever he could to get home so he could save Qi’ra was something we all would have expected out of him. I did like that we were able to see his street smarts and ability to strategize more than we have in other movies. I guess we have a bit of development, in that he learns to be even less trusting than he already was at the beginning through all of the betrayals in the movie, but like …. He was already distrustful in the beginning from the life he had already lived. Also, this has nothing to do with what I was just saying but I just remembered, this is during the time of the empire. Didn’t the empire use cloned Stormtroopers as their infantry and navy with humans only being officers …………………… like correct me if im wrong, but im like 90% sure that’s right. Because the first order were the ones that used human Stormtroopers. And even so like, what are these infantry men even doing. Aren’t Stormtroopers the ones that have always invaded planets for the empire, these people weren’t wearing any type of armor or cohesive uniforms and I just remember being confused as fuck during this whole sequence. In a ‘this is a major plot hole’ kind of way. Were they running out of clones ?????? like just make more ???????????? like the whole reason they used clones was because using actual humans to do grunt work was barbaric and clones aren’t really seen as people. Also now that I’m thinking about it what happened to all of the clones once the war ended. I haven’t watched or read many of the side stories or books, so I don’t know if it’s just me that’s missing something, but idk having han join the empire as an infantryman just didn’t make sense to me. Also having an imperial officer be the one to give him his last name was just kind of yikes. Like they couldn’t have just had him come up with one himself in that moment. Whatever.

Now lets talk about Qi’ra aka fake bitch. I fucking hated her so much through this entire movie and not just because I called her fake leia in the lead up to it coming out (tell me han doesn’t have a type). Like what the hell honestly. She was the WORST. And its kind of sad because she really had the potential to be a better character, but it just did not happen. Like she was gone for three years and just happened to appear back at some sketch party? And the only explanation for it was “yeah ive been through some shit don’t ask.” And what killed me is that she just never fucking explained!!! Like han asked her multiple times to tell him what happened in the in-between time and they have this whole ass history, he was doing all this shit FOR YOU, and he doesn’t even get an explanation ???? at the very least give the viewers an explanation. Like I guess it was implied that she did some dark shit, slept her way to the top, killed a few people on the way there, but HOW ??? WHY ??? WHEN ???? how long has she been involved in this shit to be at the position she has and to be so changed by it? Her character was the one that changed the most, from being careful of people other than the one she trusted (han), but still having hope for a better life, to just being like fuck everyone, I’m here for me and I don’t care how many people I have to kill or betray to survive. But we never got that character development in the film so she just came off as a terrible human being. We never got the chance to be sympathetic for her, and tbh im about to get even more angry because this whole film was centered around M E N yes I said it im being that bitch right now because the women in this movie were paid DUST.

And on that note lets talk about fucking Val. Another character with so much potential that was just …………………. hnjdklsbckdsbcbsdlv. She was the literal embodiment of the angry black woman trope and it pissed me the fuck off. She was the one that refused to bend on bringing han into the group and continued to antagonize him the whole mission, which the audience obviously took as a damn joke because duh its han fucking solo. We all know that she’s wrong, but when everyone else jumped on board with han she stayed adamant in her position, making her the odd one out of the group. Every time she opened her damn mouth I got mad because she just kept putting han and chewie down and it was just so cringey because I knew that this would make her either a hated or a forgotten character. AND THEN SHE JUST FUCKING DIED. I was like oh ok, 20 minutes in and the whole squad is dead already god damn. Which brings me into my analysis of tobias.

I love woody harrelson and he did a great job but there were a few scenes that just annoyed me, one of them being after his squad dies. Like hes sad for like 5 seconds, punches han which is an understandable reaction considering the fact that it was his fault everyone died for no reason, and then hes just fine again? Like it was never brought up again that two people he was obviously very close to, especially Val, just died pointless deaths. Even the night before the mission he was like ‘yeah you got to get someone you can trust I got my girl val’ and then they kiss and im like oh ok theyre in love that’s cute we love representation of interracial couples, but then she dies and he never mentions her name again. He doesn’t even grieve for longer than 2 minutes ??? he gives han another chance even though this was 100000% his fault and everyone knows it ??? it was kind of like oh, ok why the fuck did we even do that, why did I have to watch all of this happen if there are no consequences. His character didn’t change at all throughout the movie either. He’s just as distrustful and self-centered as he was, he just has less friends now and he’s dead. He was a good fatherly/mentor-y figure for han throughout the movie, but that’s about it.

I don’t really have much to say about Lando other than the fact that Donald glover did a great job, but I really didn’t expect much else. B U T last week I reblogged a post about him confirming that lando was pan and in the tags I was like lol watch him still be in a het relationship and GUESS FUCKING WHAT. Like its as if they thought making him be in love with a robot that has a female voice, a female build, and people that address her with she/her pronouns would be enough for people to be like come on it’s a fucking robot they don’t have gender …. hsdakbckdsla and while we’re on this subject lets talk about L3 because her (it? I don’t even know) character probably made me the most angry while watching the movie.

L3 being like an advocate for droids was an obvious parallel to other civil rights movements like womens rights or even African American rights and the way it was handled made me so fucking angry. Everything the droid said was used as comic relief or made to be received as a joke because obviously shes talking about fucking robots. But honestly, let me get deep for a moment here, droids in the star wars universe ARE sentient. They have minds of their own and are put into the story like characters, but theyre treated as lesser because theyre not made of flesh and blood. I understand and identify with the things L3 was saying because she’s right, but through the whole movie it was made to be a joke, because you know droids don’t need rights theyre droids. But that was the same thing people in the fucking 60s were saying about black people we’re ‘just n******’ (im sorry I cant even type the word it makes me uncomfortable). And her revolutionary spirit mirrors that of women’s rights revolutionaries today. Being a black woman that’s involved in social justice in America, the characterization of L3 just made me upset because everyone was treating everything she said as a joke, and there was no rectification of it. After L3 died, there was no ‘hmmm maybe she was right maybe we should start thinking of droids more as people’ she was another wasted character whose only use was her navigation system when they could have taken a completely different route and addressed something that was actually wrong with the star wars universe rather than just enforcing it. And when she started to give the droids a mind of their own in the control room I knew it was going to dissolve into chaos and make a horrible situation because it was such a predictable moment that completely undermined social justice actions and it pissed me off.

I guess the plot twist that effys nest (is that how you spell her name? probably not it doesn’t really matter) and her squad were working with the revolution was cute. I deadass thought for a second she was gonna be like ‘what up tobias or should I call you DAD’ cause that would have been a 100% star wars thing to do. The bad guy was a generic bad guy so I really don’t have much to say about him. I loved the scenes between han and chewie which showed why they became so close.

This is really all I have to say about solo for know, nothing huge is coming to mind. Overall, it was a good movie if you’re not a fan, but kind of a wasted opportunity for everyone else. This movie had a lot of potential to deliver and im pretty disappointed that it didn’t. If you don't agree on anything I’ve said or you just want to talk about the movie with me PLEASE dont hesitate to slide into my dms I love discourse

[courtky]

What is your man’s name? - steve How long have you known each other?
- year and some months What color are his eyes?
- brown Where did you first meet your man?
- online or irl in cincinnati What was the first thing you said to each other upon meeting?
- i was nervous af i just remember saying DONT TOUCH ME and hiding cause he was really cute lol Who else was around when ya’ll met?
- airport ppl idk Were you friends before you dated?
- basically. Where did you go on your 1st date?
- uhhh well he came to visit me for my birthday and he stayed for the weekend so that whole weekend was basically our first date lol.. we got a hotel together and went to an amusement park (which was funny af because it was halloween themed and he gets scared easily LOL) and we went to texas roadhouse for steak and ya basically we stayed in the hotel and drank and played drunk mario kart lmao Do you remember what you wore or he wore on your 1st date?
- uh he wore a yellowish flannel with skinny jeans and i wore my dumb dress lol and i had these stupid uncomfortable shoes on that i ended up tossin so i was basically barefoot Most fun date you two have been on?
- man idk we've honestly have had a lot... probably when we spontaneously decided to go to myrtle beach for spring break ((which i rly needed i was stressed af from everything)).. it was so cool cus we had an oceanfront hotel and we got to go go karting and we ate at some cool restaurants and stuff and it was also the furthest ive ever drove by myself.. 8 hrs non stop.... !!!! even though we stopped on the way there at some ghetto ass motel omg LOL... they had advertised a breakfast bar.. when we checked in THE BREAKFAST BAR WAS LITERALLY JUST A PANCAKE MAKER THING ON THE COUNTER AND LMAO IT WAS SO FUNNY i couldnt sleep at all i felt like we were gonna die :(((((( omg and this was up in the virginia mountains so it was rly pretty scenery Do you go on more alone or group dates?
- alone duh Who usually pays for the date?
- he does usually or we split.. i pay whenever i can but lol hes the bread winner What does your man do to make money? - he works at a grocery store atm How many years apart are you?
- four Do you normally date older or younger guys?
- most of my exes were within a few months apart from me How did ya’ll first kiss?
- i was driving us from the airport to the hotel and we were listening to the radio and we were awkward af and we were talking and i got to a red light and he did somethin to get my attention and i looked over at him and the next thing i know we are kissin n shit LOL.. i remember cold play playing too and im like ru srs did u plaN THIS SHIT... then he kept tryin to kiss me while i was drivin at 70mph surprised we didnt die tbh Did he use any cheesy lines?
- hes a cheese factory lets be real How long have ya’ll been together?
- a year a five months almost When did you meet his parents?
- havent and prob wont Who said, “I love you” first?
- i think he did cause i usually dont lol.. we said it jokingly a lot when we were friends though so idk What was the first thing he gave you?
- gift wise????... his bracelet, we swapped bracelets.. like those rubber ones, so we could have somethin from each other since we were gonna be long distance for awhile.. he still wears mine and i wear his lol What’s the most expensive thing he’s given you?
- idk??? a hotel to the beach? even though we split that.. maybe my necklace? What’s the cutest thing he does?
- idk he does so much wHY DO I HAVE TO PICK ONE??? he grabs my hand and holds it while we are drivin and it makes me melt tbh What does he call you?
- A TON OF STUPID SHIT LMAO we both say stupid nicknames.. booboo is probably the worst How well does he know you?
- way too well How well do you know him?
- fuck if i know.. id like to say a lot Do you know any of his ex��s?
- no, just stories Is he friends with any of his ex’s?
- hope not :o)))))) will kill them :o)))))) What is his favorite thing to do?
- watch youtube vids prob or play dead by daylight LATELY What is one thing that really annoys him?
- probably when i harass him when hes trying to sleep 0:) Are you happy?
- with him??????? yes Do your parents like him?
- yepyepyep Is he the best kisser out of all that you’ve kissed? - yessss he has very kissable lips ugh What does he do that gives you butterflies?
- god him looking over at me gives me butterflies :((( or when he says cute things n stuff Have you ever gotten into a fight?
- OH DEFINITELY If so what was it over?
- >:( How many kids does he want to have?
- idk never really said a number but we do want some, prob 2-3 Have you ever loved anyone else?
- well yeah, but this is probably way different What is your best memory together?
- first memory to pop in my head: playing pokemon go in some forest in columbus and litERALLY RUNNING FOR CHARMANDERS Have you talked about a future together?
- yup Do you think you two will get married?
- im hoping if all goES WELL When you first met, did you think it would end up the way it is?: 
- no not at all after all the disappointments ive had?????? LOL... esp when he said he would come visit me i was like yea ok.... now we live together w t f Is he what you ‘normally go for’?: 
- no tbh but im so glad i went for it Do/did your friends approve of him?:
- yea Are you friends with his mates?: 
- idk any of his friends personally since theyre in texas, although i did msg one on facebook If it came to it, would he rescue you at 3am if needed?:
- definitely i THINK :-) How many times a day does he tell you he loves you?: 
- a lot Do you trust each other?: 
- :-/ yeah i try Ever layed in bed together in each others arms?: 
- every night I SLEEP ON HIS CHEST Would you trust him if you left the town for a month with no contact?: 
- yea i think Does it bother you if he doesnt say ‘I love you’ when he leaves?: - no lol Does he pull you aside to kiss goodbye or do it there and then?: 
- umm depends??? usually there and then? Has he ever asked you if his outfit looks okay?: 
- yes lmao Does he own a lot of shoes?: - not really no Ever been in a drunken state and said some things you wish you didnt to him:
- yeS LOL What colour eyes would your child have?:
- probably POOP BROWN Does he greet you with a hug each time you see him?: 
- basically or kisses Has he ever bought you a gift for no reason but his love?:
- ya he brought me flowers and when i was sick he got me tissues and ramen and medicine :o) Ever stayed up chatting til stupid oclock on the phone?: 
- yES Do you text a lot?: 
- yes!!!