#survivor diaries

[thegreenhordes]

Survivor Diaries: Broken Tranquility: Knife's Edge (7/10)

We're here. Our new 'home sweet home'. It's safe than the homestead, but leaving behind everything was tough. Peat cried for days before she adjusted to the life here, and even now we're still getting our bearings. Things aren't too bad really. Those things outside can't get to us in here, and the security in the Princess's lab is allegedly much stronger now. I'm hoping that's true- and I'm choosing to believe it until show otherwise. Peat keeps getting looks from the medical staff, watching her like she's some weird bug they want to study. I admit to getting in a bit of trouble with the security guards around here when I smashed a doctor up against the wall. My nerves are getting to me I think, I've been acting all out of sorts since I killed Root. Feeling out of sorts too. Peat has absolutely noticed... I dunno what to do really. I'm just trying to keep going for her sake. More than ever my wife needs me. I'm scared though, for her. She thinks she's pregnant- far enough along that there is a good chance she was pregnant when she got bit. She keeps fussing over the thought our possible foal is infected. Screamed herself awake last night from nightmares of a sharp-toothed green-bulbed baby tearing its' way out of her like some monster. I held her all night trying to comfort her, make her feel safer somehow. It can be hard to offer comfort to somepony though, when the thing they're afraid of is growing inside them. All I know right now is we aren't completely sure if she's pregnant, and we aren't telling anypony else just out of fear she might get Quarantined again. Like... like some experiment. Not happening. Not on my watch. I'll die before I let anyone touch my wife again. I saw the Princess today, early in the morning wandering the halls. She looks tired, drained. Every one of the Elements do. All the energy just sucked out of them as they take few moments to themselves. I dunno how they do it, how they get through a day as nerve-wracking and busy as theirs. I swear it feels like there's a few hundred ponies in this castle, all being kept safe by those six and their efforts. Oh blazing sun I am exhausted. So much on my mind, weighing me down. Peat tells me I should sleep more, but I can't. I keep feeling the urge to stand watch, gazing out our window for threats. I keep thinking of the possibility I may be a father soon. I keep thinking of Root. What dug up her grave? Its' eating at my mind...

[nutmegthings]

When MurderBot says "sometimes people do things to you that you can't do anything about. You just have to survive it and go on"

Fucking Hell.

[crazycatsiren]

Hearing your mother's voice on the phone shouldn't activate your fight-or-flight, I'm just saying here. 😑

[ghostymarni]

can we consider that during intense life events, the effect it has on shifting life choices + reasons behind it? character trauma is WILD

just some personal rambling below the cut; venting somewhere for my peace of mind.

[warning heavy life shit]

After my husband passed, I’ve basically been coping sober the last 5 months. It’s to the day today.

From enjoying life on a high, to drop kicking my survival into sobriety. Not that it was bad, it was controlled enjoyment. Knowing that since I’ve dropped weight from grief, alcohol is neither a smart choice nor does it help with digestion which back tracks fitness progress; I also choose to never relapse my 20’s drinking habits.

I’ve almost become extremely wary of doing anything because I refuse to give chance to any potential to lose my career, kid, home, or peace of mind. I’ve shifted back into high caffeine intake but since getting sick I’ve had to go from 3-6 cups of caf to no more than 3 a day. Fitness is on hold until my cough goes away. But with end of the year work overtime, no help, and survival single parent widow perseverance, it is taking its toll on me. I can’t stop, I have no one to fall back on. My eyes now have undertones of bruise discoloration from it all.

I’m taking a break from other social to be more on tumblr again because here brings me more peace of mind. Ya’ll being yourselves have been a beacon of light in all of this. So if you’re reading this, thank you. I push and look forward to the friends I’ve made on here and the chaos and laughs that bring extra serotonin to my world.

I don’t share for sympathy not one bit. Just pure venting to share what’s actually going on with me. Sharing somewhere I know has actual people wanting to interact and care. Even if it’s just a virtual hug, it’s more than I can ask for. I purely enjoy being here and I just want to be treated without the cloud of people I know in person’s judgment for coping how I need to or how I make my own life choices for my kid and I. Which feels ironic that no one gave a shit before, but since his passing everyone now has a say or opinion.

Deep breath. I’ve got additional real world shit I’m trying not to let bring me down. I need to remind myself I’m capable and I’m doing more than I have ever processed in my life. I wouldn’t be okay without the bad batch, without the clones, without my friends here. [also mega shout out to Lupe for being the sweetest person ever and for listening to my constant nonsense <3 ]

I personally find the clones and their loss in a sense comforting, more so relatable because of my own loss. Regardless of fictionality, that they live to fight another day. They keep pushing, they keep fighting. Because that’s exactly what I need right now. You guys are my brothers in that retrospect. No pressure no responsibility just support and happiness.

You’re still here?

Hey 😏

[coffeexxcigarettes]

Like barely staying above water,

Holding onto whatever kisses the surface.

I am tired but I cannot sleep.

Failure blooms in the smallest parts of me,

Like algae.

How selfish of me,

As if I created this ocean we drown in.

Even so,

I grab hold onto the surface to find air;

To hopefully find you,

To cough up apologies for how I couldn't

Quite save us both.

x

[julietsothervision]

im sorry

[ririn-vdiary]

Kim Woo Bin was great in Officer Black Belt! I don’t really like most action films but anything with him is almost always good.

Also the surprise at the end!!!! I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO SEE PRESIDENT PARK MOO JIN FROM DESIGNATED SURVIVOR: 60 DAYS!

That basically implied he did go and run for president after his term ended😭 I need another season😭😭

[vikspretty]

boil over

in which your assignment is getting too much for you to handle but keith is there to help you out

masterlist

pairing: keith x reader

tags: fem! reader, college au!, established relationship, keith is a biker (yum), very fluffy, no use of y/n, reader gets a bit short with keith. keith is a sweetheart, slight angst.

notes: finally writing for keith. its sadly much shorter than i wanted but i spent ages looking for what to write for him because i wasn't sure what i was in the mood for. i had already made notes on season 7 episode 6 where they get like lost in space but then when it came to writing i hated the idea so now we have a college au. he's so pretty in this scene!!!

wc: 839

"Buck and Wild, Swing to be free, Your hands just can't keep ahold of me." — Kate Denson's "Boil Over"

The sound of a motorbike pulling up dragged you out of your train of thought. If this was any other time, you would have jumped out of your seat to meet your boyfriend at the door. Today, however, was not one of those days.

You had a huge assignment to do for college, and even though you had plenty of time to get it done, you prided yourself in having things completed as soon as physically possible. This assignment was deciding to not let you commit to it. Everything you would type out would be deleted pretty much immediately.

With a groan, you deleted the last paragraph you had typed out. There were spelling mistakes throughout it and it didn't read right. Anymore force put into your backspace key and you're sure it would break.

Keith couldn't wait to see you. You had been asleep when he left in the morning for work at the Garrison and you hadn't picked up any of his calls all day. He was aware of your assignment and knew how you got when they became difficult and so made a pit stop on his way home.

Greeting Kosmo at the door, Keith placed his helmet and keys down, toeing off his boots simultaneously. "Hey buddy. Where is my pretty girl?" He asked Kosmo. As if the wolf could understand, he immediately got up and started off towards the living room.

Upon entering, Keith saw you sat with your back to the arm rest, computer in your lap and a multitude of notebooks splayed out on your coffee table. A half empty mug of coffee also sat closest to you on the table, but Keith assumed this to be cold as it normally ended up to be when you would become so engrossed in your work.

Kosmo walked up to your side, partially blocking your view of your notebooks. You were yet to notice your boyfriend's presence in the room despite you realising that he will be home now.

"Kosmo, honey, please move," you pleaded. You were finally beginning to form a thought that could lead you on your next point you wanted to make but by the time Kosmo had moved, you had lost it.

You let out another groan. Louder this time, accompanied by you shutting you laptop and putting your head down.

"Hey baby, you okay?"

The voice made you jump, and instead of soothing you like Keith had intended it to, it only angered you.

"Do I look okay, Keith?" You snapped. You had sat up now, laptop still in your lap.

What you hadn't noticed but Keith had was your hands. They were curled up above your laptop but were shaking. At this realisation, Keith was quick to move your notebooks neatly into a pile, placing the bag of food he had in his hand on the free space on the coffee table.

"I’m struggling with this assignment and I know I have time but I want it done now and nothing I write is good enough and then- What are you doing? I need those!"

Still not saying anything, Keith kneeled in front of you, taking your laptop and moving that to the table too. He then grabbled your hands, holding them tightly.

"Look at me, darling."

You didn't hear his words, too busy rambling in a mumble about how you need to get back to work so you could get it done. Keith realised this when your eyes didn't even flick to Kosmo who had not rested his head in place of where your laptop previously was. At this you would usually let out a coo and stroke his head. Instead you were staring at your books on the table. Knowing you wouldn't listen to him any other way, Keith placed his index and his thumb under your chin to move you to face him.

When you made eye contact with Keith's sympathetic gaze, your eyes started to well up. Suddenly the stress and guilt overwhelmed you and you broke down.

Rather than trying to shush you or get you to stop crying, Keith leaned up to hug you. This was what you needed. You had been over working yourself and it was finally catching up to you.

The familiarity of Keith's smell and his warmth was soothing to you. "Keith, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" Your voice was croaky and broken as your tears refused to stop just yet.

"I know, darling, I know."

You pulled away to look him in the eyes. You didn't know what to say or do and so you said the only thing you did know. "I love you."

"I love you most. So much so that I brought you some food."

To this you let out a quiet giggle and hugged him again.

"It's okay to be overwhelmed. You're putting way too much pressure on yourself for something that you have so much time for. I'm here for you, and so is Kosmo. You are not alone. Now, how about, we eat? And then we can find a way to distract you for a while. How does that sound?"

Taking note of the insinuation, you just nodded, throwing yourself to him for a kiss.

this is so much shorter and rushed than i wanted it to be but i really struggled with finding a good idea to use for him so this is really disappointing. im gonna try make the next one a little longer but its not gonna be a voltron fic i fear. onto kate denson’s final perk though!

@cafekitsune made the dividers here!

thank you for reading!!

[dizzieartist]

[trauma-bois]

I was filled with so much love but everyone else took advantage of it and treated me like shit so all the love turned to rage and hatred

[crimsonlyinglilly]

Whumptober Alt Prompts Survivor's Guilt/Body swap

And we're back for @whumptober, starting a little early here as it's still September but it's October in Oceania!

Also officially a year since i started writing for TVDs so yay, thankful to all those who found me and like what i write.

Sorry it's mostly pain and here's the latest pain, also known as 'Too sad for me to write. and 'The reflection he wished he was blind to'

Elijah takes a few leaves out of Klaus's book of trick and goes behind his little brother's back to save his life.

Klaus is left haunted by the last gift his brother gives him,

-----

Klaus plays it out, how it would have gone, how it should have gone, every morning and night staring into the mirror.

It’s not his face staring back.

“Brother, I can't let you do this.” Elijah would have started.

Face showing the love that had helped protect the shard Klaus’ humanity despite his own attempts to drown it in blood for centuries.

“You have to.” he was have replied, trying to be cold and distance to help Elijah’s pain.

“Let me.” Elijah would have pleaded, always ready to sacrifice himself, like he expected Klaus to let him after a thousand year of Elijah being his stone.

Like he hadn’t lived years without him and felt that cold, like he could face that again.

“Never,” he would have snapped back standing strong, moving closer to set a hand on his shoulder, knowing touch was a weakness of his brother’s  “this is my redemption.” he would have explained, promised him that he understood what he was doing, convinced his brother that it was for the best. 

That it had to be this way. 

They may have fought, Elijah would never have accepted it easily, but Klaus was stronger and would have cheated if he had to.

“Brother.“ he would have smiled to show Elijah he was okay with this, that Elijah’s tireless quest had been completed, that he no longer needed to worry about Klaus.

“Brother.” Elijah would have said and Klaus would have treasured the care in his eyes and voice, used it to strengthen his resolve.

He wins, his brother gives in.

Their siblings would have helped him heal, Elijah would recover from grief and heal. He would be there for Hope, the way he should have always been, the way he had been for Klaus and the rest of them their whole lives.

Elijah would have finally gotten the chance to live for himself.

But that hadn’t happened.

His brother outplayed him.

Elijah hadn’t given him a chance. One moment he was prepared for his death then he was stumbling in a completely different place.

He had raced to where he should be, where the only thing that could kill them was. Knowing what had happened even if he hadn’t checked, the absences of the Hollow made it clear.

He had arrived to flames and his own body burning.

An echo to the same, years ago when it was Kol burning.

A horrible reverse of another time when he saved himself, by stealing another’s body.

A reminder of another time he arrived too late to save Elijah.

He didn’t want this, he had thought as he stumbled to stand over the remains, his ashen body, an empty corpse.

There were no last words, no desperate threats or bargains, no goodbye. He wonders if Elijah had even known he was there, that he wasn’t alone.

In his mind’s replay, like his dreams he won, he died and Elijah lived.

In the real world Elijah’s brown eyes stare back from his reflection but Elijah is gone.

Only Klaus remains.

In a world where he has to get used to the fact that, all that is left of the brother he had looked up to in his very long life was the body, his body now.

He wonders who the ache will fade for first, him, or his siblings.

The necklace Davina spelled sits on the edge besides the sink, the only thing that helps him keep him sanity. That stops him from flinching at every passing reflection, from seeing his brother in the eyes of those who speak to him.

He knows she created more for Kol’s sake than his own but he owes her for it in a way he can never make up for it.

“I don't blame.” Kol told him after he explained to them, as Freya cried in her wife’s arms and Rebekah destroyed things in another room. The rage and raw grief are clear in Kol’s voice despite his words Klaus knows he does blame Klaus a little, it is fair Klaus blames himself for it completely. “Our parents ruined Elijah, like mother did Finn, it's just none of us noticed until it was too late to fix.”

“How am I supposed to live with this?” He had choked, hands curling into fists but they weren't his hands, long elegant fingers better suited for piano keys than paint brushes.

“You have to, otherwise you'll be throwing away the last thing Elijah gave us.”

His hand reaches for the mirror and even knowing it just his reflection reaching back, a flare of traitorous hope burns because Elijah always comes when he needs him.

But he doesn’t anymore.

He can't.

The mirror surface is cold and the brown eyes that meet him aren’t warm and full of love but wet and full of pain and grief.

Grief that will never fade as every moment is a reminder of the stolen life, one he had never wanted to take.

Klaus wraps his- his brother’s- his arms around himself and refuses to let the tears fall, swallowing back the sobs.

He wants his big brother, he wants him to hold him. 

This is all he has left.

—--

When the time comes there's no hesitation.

It's cruel, it's selfish, but Elijah knows himself and he can't risk Klaus convincing him.

There are no goodbyes, but he had killed himself years ago when he wiped his memories. Perhaps if he had done a better job then, done it properly, Hayley would be alive still, Hope would have her mother and he wouldn't be taking Klaus’ body with him.

The hand doesn't shake as it lifts the white Oak stake, he can feel the Hollow with him.

He lets himself look for a moment, hands he had once helped learn to shoot a bow, fingers he remembers crushing berries to make paint.

“I'm sorry.” He says but no one hears and he pushes the stake into his heart.

It hurts, it burns but he doesn't really feel it.

He was already dead.

There's a sound that calls his attention and he looks up. Through the flames consuming him he sees his own body, his face staring at him in horror.

He's gone before he can smile.

It’s selfish but he lets himself take comfort that he’s not alone.

[thegreenhordes]

Survivor Diaries - Broken Tranquility: Not So Friendly Faces

Diary. I wanted to show Root Harvest what for next time I saw her. Wanted to give her a piece of my mind for acting so cruel towards Peat. I was angry, defensive of my sick wife, and I felt betrayed by my own kin. There was a lot of things going through my mind, all the stuff I thought about saying to her. All venomous words and spite... I didn't want this, though. I was angry but I would never wish that on anypony. Almost bit me, she did. Made right for my neck- though I don't think she knew where her mouth was going on account of the whole not having eyes thing. Just wild lunging and snapping that deformed maw. Thank the Sun Peat didn't see that, doesn't know what became of her sister-in-law. They were so close once, attached at the hip... I used to be close with her too... I lied to my wife and told her it was just a straggler, one of the tagged ones that escaped from the Princess's lab. Technically not a lie, there was a tag attached to her back right ankle. Figure she must've got infected shortly after leaving in a huff and was Quarantined. Oh, Root. Why? Why did you have to go? I'm not angry anymore. Just heartbroken.. I buried her in the woods, careful of course to make sure there weren't any of those Growler things wandering first. Couldn't really do much but dig a hole far as I could and pack it back on once the body was in. Felt a little disrespectful but.. I don't have the time to perform a funeral rite. Being out there was dangerous enough- but we needed food, and the only food we got anymore is carrots in the field. Things are bleak. My sister dead, my wife unable to travel, the temp quarantine zones evacuated, the harvest is starting to rot. I'm barely keeping myself together. I'm going to climb onto the roof tonight while Peat sleeps, try to get the attention of those pegasi flying everywhere. Saw in the distance them coming from around the Friendship Castle, so I think it's safe to say they don't mean harm. Hopefully they can help get Peat somewhere safe, anywhere but here. Anywhere but this cursed place. She deserves better.. P.S: Its been a few hours since I wrote this. I used some binoculars to scan the horizon while I waited on the roof. Good news is we'll have an entourage to take us to safety by morning. Bad news... something dug up Root's grave.

[nutmegthings]

... Miki was a bot who had never been abused or lied to or treated with anything but indulgent kindness. It really thought its humans were its friends, because that's how they treated it.

... I needed to have an emotion in private.

Oh buddy.

Devastating interaction for a MurderBot who has almost Only been abused lied to and never treated with kindness.

[crazycatsiren]

That traumatized girl in me wanted to call back and apologize. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things, I shouldn't have gotten mad, I shouldn't have been cruel."

Because that was my default, my instinctive reflex, my modus operandi. That was what I was used to, accepting everything and never fighting back. The woman who calls herself my mother is far from the only person I've been this way with. How many times have I spoken up about being ill treated, only to end up being made to feel guilty and apologizing for bringing it up in the first place. It's why my ex best friend is an ex.

She deserved to hear every one of those words I said to her. She earned my anger, my reproach, my cold shoulders. I wasn't being cruel. I was being real. I shouldn't have been patient. I shouldn't have let her keep doing this to me. She's in no way entitled to my patience, my kindness.

And I never deserved the truly cruel words and deeds she had said and done to me. She had treated me hundreds of times worse, and I didn't deserve any of it from her. She made her bed and now she has to lie in it. For once, someone is holding her accountable for her actions.

[dogstomp]

Dogstomp #2979 - February 26th

Patreon / Discord Server / Itaku / Bluesky

[st4rr-b0y]

sometimes I think I don’t deserve to feel pretty. maybe I do deserve to be fat because then it won’t happen again, no one would think of me as pretty and try to take me forcefully again…