#surrounding yourself with

[rigginsstreet]

the way that fandom has morphed into yall needing approval from other people to like a character/ship is insane to me, a bitch who has never put another persons feelings and concerns above my own lmao

[thunderon]

so my roommate is completely straight edge like no drugs no alcohol etc and so im sure y’all can imagine my surprise when i saw she brought home this sign

so i immediately inquired

and now you may ask. what the fuck did my roommate think that sign meant? well

anyways i moved the sign so it’s now front and center in our living room and ive been laughing every time i pass it

[novicedraws]

It’s been one hell of a week…

Please remember to be kind to yourself. Do your favorite things and treat yourself.

[m00ngbin]

AY(OYM)!!!! CHAPTER FIVE!!!!!!! Yay

[valtsv]

New road sign just dropped (courtesy of my unconscious mind)

this is a road sign that i would extend my commute to drive by

[otome-dissection]

Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.

It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).

It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.

(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).

It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).

It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.

It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.

It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.

She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)

It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.

It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.

Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.

On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)

[psink]

It's a big shame the anime skipped the 2nd half of Kuusuke's monologue from chapter 178. Some people tend to misinterpret this scene, and this part makes it even more clear that Kuusuke was very much in the wrong.

"Kuusuke won and destroyed Teruhashi" No, he fully lost. He basically acknowledges that himself as well.

[enii]

Surround yourself with things that make you happy💕

[meaningtotellyou]

stop acting like it’s normal to be friends with trump supporters it’s really starting to remind me of all the white people who are like “it’s a normal part of life!!!” when influencers/celebs get caught saying the n word in their past. nothing about being a bigot or surrounding yourself with bigots is normal

[transmascutena]

the fact that he spends all his time grooming kids into believing they're mature enough to consent and then turns around to condescend to them about how young and stupid they are and how they actually don't understand anything makes my fucking blood boil. i need to kill him

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Paul/Chani battle couple falling in love while fighting side by side in a guerrilla war for national liberation felt like a gift to me personally for many reasons but mostly because comrades-to-lovers is SUCH a specific vibe and putting Paul Atreides into that dynamic is so so so so funny

[snail-friend]

I headcanon Billy has a fear of water.

He didn't at first, but after the amount of times he's been shot out of the air by villains into the ocean, been held under water so he can't call the Wizards name, been half drowned, waterboarded, had bad experiences helping people on boats, as Cap and as Billy-

I don't think it's unreasonable for him to be freaked by water. He goes to the pool with friends one day and he gets waist deep before he can't breathe and the pressure is too much and he just has to leave because all he can think of is the times he's nearly drowned. He's helping take down a water manipulating villain and at some point in the fight he stops smiling, stops being friendly, stops talking so he can just get it over with.

One day he's in a fight as Captain Marvel and somehow gets the flight knocked out of him over the ocean and the league learns that one of their strongest can't swim and is barely staying at the surface. it takes multiple leaguers to get him to safety. after it's over, they try to get him to agree to swimming lessons. try to help him. he never will, he's stubborn and afraid.

[mamanbou]

i joke about ociel thinking he's his dad's age a lot but like really he does. something so heartbreaking about the fact that whenever ciel references his own age it's like he's making an inside joke- dryly reminding the dinner party in book of murder that children have early bedtimes, for example. as if his age is a mere technicality, it's inaccurate on some level but is still a loophole he can exploit when convenient. Feigned innocence.

Because in kuro youth primarily functions as an axis of powerlessness. Ciel can't act his age or he's delegitimized. It's just another wall he's built between his persona and his actual self. To be Earl Ciel Phantomhive The Queen's Guard Dog he buries his age, his name, his illnesses........ idk it just always gets me that he isn't only borrowing from his brother, but his father as well. Anybody but himself. He really believes it, too, that any lie can become the truth with enough dedication and hard work.. He's so good at deluding himself. But he's not a grizzled 34 year old detective :( hes just a baby :(

[shotmrmiller]

why tf it take me this long to see that if you film one free use video in with ps!ghost it is, from then on, your life. free use til you retire and marry him because there will be no other and-

brb.

[sapphic-agent]

Kataang Shippers: Netflix Katara sucks! Where's her fire??

Me: Yeah, I would have preferred they kept her temper and spirit too. But to be fair the comics and LOK also-

Kataang Shippers: Katara deserved a quiet life after the war! She deserves better than feminists shitting on her for doing absolutely nothing after the war while her friends and husband and brother were fostering a new era! Just because fighting was one of her defining character traits and an integral part of her character arc doesn't mean it's bad writing that she gave it up! It makes TOTAL sense that she didn't do anything to earn a statue while even the cabbage man did!

Me: eye twitch

[sunsbleeding]

Thanks you to all of you who have been so kind lately, I know we don’t know each other personally but I feel like I have a lil family and I’m not alone in being treated like shit by someone who pretended to love you ❤️‍🩹 big hugs to all of you, and also all you going through a depressive episode, a dark time, or struggling with substance abuse of any sort, I see you, I understand, and there will be people you find in this life that will see you too