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dear-ao3 · 9 months ago

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welcome to japan!!! here we are, once again, back in suzuka. i really think that this post actually killed me to write for some reason. i started writing it early and then abruptly remembered why i dont do that. so today is april 8, 2024 and lets just dive straight in to this disaster.

unfortunately, this post is starting off on a bit of a heavy note because i have to explain some of the notable crashes that have happened in japan. one of these did result in a death. i will not be going super into detail, but if this is not your cup of tea or coffee please skip down to the next colored heading which reads 2023 japanese gp

so the year is 2014. the japanese gp used to be much later in the calendar (it was moved up this year to the front), so it was in october and it rained. key and very important detail. the cars will still race in the rain, if it is not too much rain.

this rain was kind of on and off very heavy rain caused by the incoming typhoon Phanphone. they knew that the typhoon was coming too, it wasnt just a surprise random typhoon. it was supposed to hit on sunday (the day of the race) so heading into it they knew the race would be wet. part of the reason that they decided to still have the race was because the whole typhoon was not expected to really hit until monday and because there was no way to postpone the race because the russian gp was the following week and they couldn't reorganize the freight travel (which is shitty reasoning if you ask me but this story if filled with weird decisions and negligence) and the storm was supposed to miss suzuka (where the race is held) and it was just supposed to rain a whole lot. a few people wanted to push back the start time and not have the race take place until it was safe, but they were overruled because they didnt want to interrupt television coverage.

and this was not the only weird weather incident of this weekend. before the first practice session that week a volcano had erupted and killed 47 people. somehow, despite all of this, the fia ruled that the race would go on as scheduled.

regardless of how you spin this. there was a fair amount of negligence at this race by the fia. and this was not even the beginning of that.

and so the race started, there was a fuckton of standing water on the track, very reduced visibility and overall it was just fucking dangerous. it was started under a safety car (which basically means that the cars go much slower and no one can overtake) and after two laps was suspended after complaints from the drivers about lack of visibility. 20 minutes later the race restarted under a safety car when the rain stopped a little. on lap 9 the safety car went in and people could overtake again, despite the fact that everyone was complaining about visibility. the race continues with a few issues and by lap 36 it was full on raining again and by lap 41 the light was fading and there was a cloud cover so visibility was really bad.

one of the drivers, sutli aquaplaned into the tire barrier on lap 42 and they broke out the double yellow flags. the flags are waved by people around the track to alert the drivers, and they would hear this over the radio as well, but remember that the visibility is poor. notably, they didnt use the safety car for this incident but they did use a tractor crane to remove sutlis car from the track (again, why i have no idea). on lap 43 jules bianchi, racing for marussia (a team that no longer exists on the grid because this was back when there were 11 teams) lost control of his car in the wet conditions (he was going 213 kph) and crashed into the tractor crane after his fail safe system malfunctioned due to incompatible brake wiring. due to the weather, they could not airlift him to the hospital so he was driven by ambulance. the race was red flagged 2 laps later and was not restarted.

by all accounts, there was a fuckton of negligence and many, many things happened that should not have. (the race itself, the restart, having the drivers still on track wit recovery vehicles out, etc)

jules bianchi died 9 months later from his injuries (severe head trauma), making him the first f1 driver in 21 years to die of a race related accident (the previous one being ayrton senna).

various safety measures were introduced as a result of this accident but still. it was ruled that there was no main cause of the accident but it was multiple factors of basically negligence by many people. marussia also lost a lot of sponsor funding because of this incident.

and who was jules bianchi?

well he had been a member of the ferrari driver academy (meaning that ferrari sponsored him through the junior leagues) and he was their test and reserve driver for 2011 season and then was loaned to the force india team (now aston martin) as a reserve driver for the 2012 season. in march 2013 he replaced luiz razia at the marussia f1 team after sponsor issues. marussia was a back runner team (like williams or stake) and jules scored them their first points at the monaco gp in 2014. he was considered the primary driver at the team and, given his connections to ferrari it was widely regarded that he would have one day signed with Ferrari, likely as fernando alonsos replacement who was rumored to be leaving the team at the end of that year. in fact he was so close to being signed at ferrari that the then fia president said that if f1 was to transition to three driver teams (which was a possibility at the time) he was going to be the third driver.

he was also charles leclercs godfather.

charles i belive started formula racing in 2015 in the junior leagues and kind of adopted jules desire to race for ferrari as his own (several people around the time he was getting signed in 2019 said that he was finishing was jules started) (this is part of the reason why charles will not leave ferrari)

so that was japan 2014. there is also japan 2022.

you would think that they had learned from japan 2014. alas they did not.

just like in 2014, the race took place during torrential rain. and there was a crash on the opening lap with carlos sainz crashing into the barriers after aquaplaning. the double yellow flags were broken out (sound familiar???) while a recovery vehicle (tractor crane) was dispatched to collect carlos's car. several drivers, including pierre gasley, passed the recovery vehicle at (albeit reduced) speed (as double yellow means no overtaking and be aware, not come to a full stop or slow down significantly). pierre, driving for alpha tauri (now rb) at the time, nearly crashed into the crane due to, you guessed it! poor visibility!

many of the drivers were rightfully very pissed off about this. especially pierre and and even more especially charles. pierre said, very angrily, "i could have killed myself" if he had hit the tractor, said that the deployment of the recovery vehicle was "disrespectful" to the memory of jules and his family (pierre had been family and childhood friends with jules). i believe in his post race interview he says something along the lines of how he was going to call everyone that he loved that night (because he had nearly died). many of the drivers shared the same feelings with many of them saying things like "we already lost jules." (several people on the 2022 grid had raced alongside jules) and charles was also pissed, saying that f1 should have learned from jules death. charles and pierre are also best friends. im also decently sure that this crash happened in pretty much the same spot as jules's crash.

the race was finished early after 20 something laps because it exceeded the three hour time limit.

so yeah. definitely some unfortunate events have happened at the japan race. it is deeply upsetting that this kind of negligence still exists in the races (which is why! the drivers need their union!! they have one!! and people who say they dont need one because they are all rich need to realize that it doesnt matter how much money they are making when they are doing something inherently incredibly dangerous and the decisions as to what is happening when they are doing dangers things are being called by people who are often entirely negligent of their safety!!!) (this is not the only time we will discuss negligence, there is another batch of similar shenanigans from the 2019 and 2021 belgium races)

but with that out of the way. lets move on to the 2023 japanese gp.

i know, i know, we are still not in the present day. its not easy covering every bit of lore on one post, you know. just go with it alright? i promise this is a good bit and much more uplifting than the last section.

that is because this one includes bees!!!

yes, you heard me. bees.

why bees?

well for that you'll have to ask one sebastian vettel.

and if that name doesnt sound familiar to you well 1. you haven't been reading closely enough or 2. because hes not currently on the grid.

bit of a recap, seb was a formula 1 driver from 2007-2022. hes currently 36, german, and married with a few kids. he very notably holds the record for the youngest f1 world champion and has 4 consecutive world championship titles from 2010-2014, all of which he won with red bull. after that he went to ferrari, won races but not championships, had a wonderful friendship and or feud with sir lewis hamilton, probably emotionally adopted charles leclerc, and then was replaced at ferrari by carlos sainz in 2021. he then did two years at aston martin, looked miserable for most of the time and then retired to spend time with his kids.

aside from all that, hes also very passionate about equal rights and has pushed for more women in the paddock and gay rights among other things.

and what does this have to do with bees? well hes also passionate about the environment!

(brace yourselves for a very sharp left turn here (or perhaps a right because this is turn two of the suzuka track))

and in 2023 at the Japanese gp (which was in september, so only a few months ago) he came back to build bee hotels at the suzuka race track with the rest of the grid!

yes. he rallied the whole grid and the team principals (some of which were in blood feuds, mind you) to make bee hotels at the "buzzing corner" of turn two at the japan track to spread awareness for the need for biodiversity. it was a great moment, everyone missed seb. everyone still does. but we might not for much longer, more on that later. if you want to watch the video about the bee hotels, the link is here

anyway. another epic high of the 2023 japan gp was red bull winning the 2023 constructors title. the kiss activated trophies. and the first ever lando and oscar podium. (the second was a few short weeks later at qatar). all of this will become relevant, i promise (probably) (im in fact writing this on thursday and the race is not for another few days) (i just have a feeling okay)

anyway. done with the time traveling, having covered the epic highs and lows of high school football, here we are back in 2024 for the bonkers media of the japan gp. you know, what youre all here for.

lets start with mclaren

now as we know, this is Technically Supposed To Be A Silly Season Post and as we know mclaren are not really involved in silly season. however! seemingly all of you little shits who read this post have told me that it has made a mclaren fan. so i will continue to talk about their antics for you lot. well that, and because theyre fucking hilarious.

they did almost have silly season esque news this week though and that was that david sanchez left the team after just three months. who is david sanchez? hes an aerodynamic specialist who came to mclaren from ferrari. the only real statement from the team about his departure was this:

“Following thoughtful discussions between David Sanchez and the team leadership, the mutual decision has been taken for David to leave the team. Upon our joint reflection, it became apparent that the role, responsibilities, and ambitions associated with David’s position did not align with our original expectations when he agreed to join us in February 2023. Recognising this misalignment, both David and I agreed that it would be best to part ways now, so to enable him to pursue other opportunities that will better leverage the full scale and breadth of his remarkable skillset. We greatly and gratefully value the contributions that David has made during his relatively short time with us, and we wish him the best in his future endeavours.”

i assume that this was said by zak brown?? but my sources (f1.com) do not say. sanchez wishes mclaren luck and is looking forward to his next adventure in the paddock.

aside from that, lando norris has a new biggest fan.

who is it, you might be asking? max fewrell? martin garrix? perhaps even oscar piastri?

no!

its alex albons grandmother!

basically, alex albons grandma ran into lando norris at the air port in japan and took a selfie with him. i think she sent this to alex's mom and then alex posted it:

this then ended up on alex and landos instagram story:

oscar posted a bunch of instagram photos of him entering the paddock and fist bumping lando with some abysmally messy hair (reportedly he never uses combs) with the caption "Definitely was not asleep 15 minutes before these were taken" and he also raced remote control cars against esteban ocon

mclaren are also running a special livery for the japan race, meaning that their car essentially has a different paint job:

it was designed by japanese artist miltz. people though are up in arms about the fact that the livery is sponsored by vuse, a vape company, because its against the rules to have explicit tobacco sponsorship in f1 and they are very similar.

and as usual, mclaren continue to just vibe amidst the silly season chaos

now that were done with our government regulated mclaren update, lets move on to charles leclerc

charles is running a special helmet design for this race:

his helmet commemorates jules bianchi, who, if you skipped the top bit of this update, was the last f1 driver to die of injuries caused by a race related accident. his accident occurred at the 2014 japanese gp, jules was also charles's godfather and im pretty sure that he either funded or helped out decently with charles's karting career before he started in the junior leagues. other drivers, notably pierre (who almost died in the same way as jules did at the 2022 japanese gp, if you skipped tha top) showed their support for the helmer. and charles instagram caption was very heartfelt:

A special helmet in memory of a very special person for me. ❤️ 10 years this year since we have lost Jules here in Japan. So many memories together that I’ll never ever forget. I miss you and I’ll do everything to bring that helmet on the top step of the podium on Sunday. 🤍

the last time charles won a race was the 2022 Austrian gp. which is quite a while ago. we all want him to do well and look a little less sad, but i think we all want this a little bit more this weekend especially. and did he manage it? well keep reading to find out!!

helmet designs, in case you are wondering, are similar to car liveries. all the drivers have a helmet design for the year and then they run a few special helmets for specific races. usually their home race, a few other other, sometimes it happens if theres also a special livery for the car, and sometimes its a brand sponsor or collab. there are quite a few drivers running special helmets for the japan race, but im not talking about them because i dont want this post to be longer than it needs to be!!

next up on the list of things to Discuss in Detail: Sebastian Vettel

what? we've already talked about him!

no no, we talked about him at Last Year's race. with the bees.

this is in the present. the here and the now.

and, very excitingly, in relation to the open 2025 mercedes seat.

thats right! we haven't entirely lost the plot of this post! were back at silly season!!

i know i mentioned this somewhere in the mess of this post, but sebastian vettel is one of the drivers currently up for the 2025 merc seat (along with the other potentials of fernando alonso, carlos sainz, kimi antonelli and maybe max verstappen)

seb has stated he misses racing. he also has been doing a shit load of tests for the 24 hours of le mans, which is an endurance race lasting 24 hours and participants compete with a partner. he tested a porsche 963 hypercar (and he named it, reportedly. this is important. seb names all of his race cars except for his 2022 aston martin which was aparently so bad it didnt deserve a name). but he is still undecided about racing in the le mans race.

now. obviously tho we know hes up for a merc seat. which was something that was speculated about earlier in the year but now seems to be more likely. and why is that? two reasons:

sebastian said this about the merc seat: "a return to f1 might be appealing and interesting but it really depends on the full package because its a big commitment" (as in depends on the extent of the contract including the pay and all that other stuff, but the fact that he would be willing to speak to teams about contracts is Intriguing)

sir lewis hamilton

so as we know, sir lewis hamilton is going to ferrari, so the seat that is open at merc is his. and he has given some input into who should replace him. and he has said it should be seb.

now, we've talked about some infamous driver pairings before, like carlos and lando at mclaren and briefly lando and oscar at mclaren (and we will properly deep dive them at some point when the vibes are correct). but there are countless others. such as max verstappen and daniel ricciardo at red bull, sebastian vettel and kimi raikkonen at ferrari, and carlos and charles at ferrari. sir lewis hamilton has found himself in the middle of a few iconic driver pairings, including the infamous broceades civil war of himself and nico rosberg that ultimately culminated in nico retiring from the sport after his first championship win in 2016. but we dont have time to unpack that.

thing is, there are also Rivalries. and sebastian and lewis were never teammates. they were more like rivals??? ish??? like charles leclerc and max verstappen. which i am realizing is a terrible analogy because i haven't deep dived charles and max. hhhhh. alright i guess were doing this now hold onto your hats for the lestappen interlude

ok so Briefly: charles is il presidento at ferrari, hes believed to be the one who could be challenging max for the championship and he was kind of set to win the championship in 2022 until red bull decided that ferraris car was probably violating regulations and made them change it (bit more to this but just trust me) and basically every time charles has a pole max wins. they usually end up on the podium together (max p1 charles p2) and the cameras often show a lot of Maxplaining and Leclercifyng (the official accounts call it this) (this is basically where they get out of the cars and immediately go to stand next to eachother and debrief usually with a lot of hand motions) usually it looks something like this:

youtube

dont let these two fool you though, they routinely shit on eachother and try to nearly kill eachother on track every now and then. they also unfollowed eachother on social media and we Definitely dont have time to unpack the great f1 driver unfollowing moments on social media. just know that this is a thing. but this includes back in 2012 when they were karting against eachother and got in an epic fight for the lead of the race resulting in this fantastic and still memed interview:

youtube

charles also explained the inchident a few years ago in an interview (sorry the sound is bad but you can still hear it) (worth the watch bc both of them aparently got disqualified)

so yeah. as you might be able to guess, people ship them. like a lot. theyre a weird hybrid of friends but also rivals but sometimes theyre friends but often rivals but they respect eachother but they try to kill eachother but then they hesitate when someone ask when the other one is pretty (yeah that actually happened once). think enemies to enemies to lovers to worse enemies to lovers to friends to estranged divorced couple back to lovers 5000000k slowburn. notably there was one race last year where in the paddock before i think a drivers parade one of the cameras caught max saying something along the lines of "charlie! i have a spot next to me" and i remember seeing somewhere someone posting a post saying something akin to "im so sorry to all of the lestappen fics that i clicked off of because max called charles charlie because i thought it was inaccurate. turns out that its so accurate its actually real fucking life"

and. to quote one tweet: there was also that one time when max, known geography nerd turned and asked charles leclerc if the Singaporean flag was the monegasque flag. just so he could talk to him. to make things worse, max lives in monaco. max is not just a geography nerd btw, theres an old ass red bull video of him correctly identifying like 298349823 million country flags, which makes this even worse. i can't find it, but trust me ok.

i ventured onto f1 ao3 just for the sake of this post and low and behold, there are (as of 4/4/2024) 31,767 fics under the f1 tag (which is so fucking many are you all okay???) and 3,730 are tagged as max/charles. again are you guys okay??

anyway. i had a point here. what the hell was the point. what am i talking about.

oh right.

sebastian and lewis.

you ever wonder how you got here? you ever think about how every life decision youve ever made has landed you exactly where you are right now? thats what im thinking about.

god this post is so long and im not even at the race yet.

anyway!!!

sebastian and lewis!!!

they were the same brand of friends but rivals but friends that max and charles currently are. lewis, as we know is still on the grid. seb retired in 2022 and lewis hasn't really known what to do without his emotional support rival.

back around the 2017-2020 era especially, which was when lewis was in the thick of his own winning streak and seb was still challenging him routinely for race wins, they had a similar vibe to charles and max: absolute chaos in interviews, will kill you on track probably of you try to pass me, friends but also rivals but also respect eachother, the whole shebang. several people akin them to divorced couple vibes (which makes it especially funny that charles will get to be teammates with both of them, i think ive talked about this before)

i tried very very hard to find video proof of this that would make sense for this post and all i kept finding were weird clips of nico rosberg. here's the best i got:

youtube

god this post has gotten so derailed. im very close to deleting and retrying this but alas. ive come too far. i apologize for this one deeply and sincerely.

so anyway, back to what i was saying several plot twists ago, sir lewis hamilton wants sebastian vettel to replace him at mercedes.

why?

well aside from the fact that he wants his emotional support rival back so he can defeat the evil that is max verstappen in a red bull and reclaim his 8th world championship title, he also thinks he would be a good fit:

i would love for seb to come back and i think it would be an amazing option for the team. german driver, multi world champion winning driver, and someone who has amazing values who would continue to take the team forward. id love it if he came back

and yeah, i think i and many other people agree with lewis. also hes right. merc is a german team. when they first started they notably had michael schumacher and nico rosberg as their drivers (both german) so having a german driver would be important to them and they have had several notable world champion drivers (schumacher, rosberg, sir lewis himself)

so we will see

moving on from this train wreck of a section, we have the discussion of fernando alonso's 20 second time penalty at the australia gp

i really thought we were done w australia but alas

once again it seems im wrong!

some of the drivers were asked what they thought of the penalty at the press conference this weekend

and some of the responses were insightful, such as landos:

"like max and Hamilton (at the 2021 silverstone gp) this was not a brake test, this was just trying to play very smart and fernando being fernando. its just my opinion, and maybe all the drivers have different opinions, and what fernando did was odd, like extreme. but i dont think it is even close to being regarded as a brake test. should it be a penalty in any way? no. george, in my opinion should have seen it coming, i dont want to comment too much on it, but george had time to see what was going on. it was not aggressive, it was not like one metre in front of a car and stopping, it was 100 meters ahead and the approach speed just caught george out, but nowhere near should that be a penalty. if george has to suddenly swerve or whatever, i guess it is a bit more of a question, but he didnt have to do anything bu brake five meters earlier and it would have been a different outcome. it is also down to george, when you are a driver, you have to react to everything that is around you."

some responses were not as insightful, such as max verstappen asking george if he brake checked fernando at the coffee shop that the two of them ran into eachother at during the off week. (they did not)

aside from that, george said that they respect eachother off the track and its good that nothing worse happened. though, it would have been hard for them to not penalize alonso because of how george landed on the track. he said:

"we need to find a way that if a car is in a danger zone, automated VSC (virtual safety car) straight away, within half a second or so because those seconds count. and, lives are at risk."

the rest of his interview is here

george is also in charge of the drivers union. and if youre one of those people currently asking "but Why do they need a union when they make millions of dollars???" my answer is: shit like this!

if you read the first bit of this update, you know how much negligence the fia is capable of. and like i said up top, it doesnt matter how much money theyre making when their job is drive very fast around a track and the people calling the shots on the race have some very questionable ideas of what safety means. and then make decisions that could very easily kill the drivers.

onto the practice sessions!

full disclosure, i only watched the last practice session because i was busy working. but ive got a decent summary

first we gotta talk about williams

williams, if you recall, were down to one car in australia because they were delayed with parts and couldn't repair the chassis that alex albon crashed during practice 1. so alex was given logans car because williams thought that alex had a better shot at scoring points and logan didnt drive for the entire weekend. it was. disappointing. alex also didnt score points.

so, williams managed to fix alex's wrecked car, but they didnt have time to flip flop the set ups. so they fitted alex's fixed car to logan. (cause while the cars themselves are the same, the set ups like the seats and the pedals and some other stuff are set up specifically for the drivers).

so we have alex in logans car. and logan in alex's car. and then practice 1 happens and logan spins out in alex's car into the barriers.

not great for a team already short on parts.

extra not great for a driver who already isn't trusted by his team to do a good job.

so not great that after crashing, logan's first radio message to the team was "im sorry man" and not "im okay" which is what is Usually the first priority information after crashing. hes already got bad self confidence, and he knows hes not trusted by the team, so this was definitely Not Good for logan or williams

fortunately, the chassis of the car was not damaged though, and williams were able to fix it in time for practice three.

now, we've talked about ralph schumacher before. and while i think this particular rumor was debunked, im still going to include it here. aparently according to ralph schumacher logan sargenat is not contracted for the whole season, hes contracted race to race. and if this is true, it means that williams can drop him at any time with no repercussions. we dont entirely know if this is true, but the fact that it was even Suggested as a rumor does not say very good things about williams confidence in logan.

williams is also kind of using logan to blame for their issues a little and thus destroying his f1 career.

logan is currently winning the award for poorest little meow meow

other than that nothing too interesting to report during practice 1, except for fernando and lando lapping the same exact time at one point. practice two was red flagged and cancelled due to rain before all of the drivers could do timed laps. considering Suzukas track record with rain this was probably for the best. and normally the camera people zoom in one the drivers faces and eyes and all that. lando norris has been known to take naps during red flags before. this is how we got the iconic "and its all just a bit too much for little lando norris. 21 years old. he just needs a bit of sleep" audio. but alas, the camera man could not find landos face, so we got a weird zoom in on his hands instead:

and so practice three was the most legitimate practice session that they had.

so very quickly because we still have lots and lots to cover, the following went down at practice three:

-charles got pissed off at ferrari strategy (no surprise there) because he only got to do one flying lap (go as fast as you can to prep for qualifying) because they held him in the garage longer and his teammate carlos had the time to do two flying laps

-lando went fastest in the first sector on his push lap, but he had to bail out of the lap cause he made a mistake (ran over the curb) so his flying lap was done on there lap old tires. and the soft tires are good for one flying lap in suzuka. so, despite the fact that he didnt finish in the top three for practice one, he still had a good shot cause he managed a good lap on old tires

-red bull kept having problems with their mirrors. which isn't great cause you kind of need those to see things

-alpine were running an upgrade to their front wing, it was lighter. which is good cause their car was too heavy in the first place. but during practice they kept running the older heavier one which was confusing. (also the new front wing really didnt help them in the race cause they still suck. pierre thinks that it could take 4-6 months to fix the problems w the car)

-and then of course logan and alex. they had no confidence in the car at all. and they both said so. not good for williams as per the darn usual. alex said: “i just have zero confidence in the car” and logan said: “i have no rear support. zero”

onto qualifying!

-according to our friends the commentators, it was red bulls pole to loose. and after all the posting red bull did about all the times they won in japan, i was inclined to agree with them.

-aside from red bull, mercedes was expected to be challenging them for pole. ferrari have better race pace here than qualifying pace and no one ever knows how mclaren is going to perform because they like to trick people into thinking theyre fucking slow and then surprising them (called sandbagging)

-immediately, red bull ultimately proved that they were going to get pole position. mostly because max went faster than his pole position time last year pretty might right out of the gate. and they did get pole position. to the surprise of absolutely no one at all. though! max did have to fight for it a little cause checo was only .066 seconds behind max.

-speaking of pole positions! crofty (one of the goofy commentators) was talking about teams pole position stats, because max scored red bulls 99th pole position. and when he talked about mercedes he said: “Now, fortunately both have got poles before, George Russell’s got one of them, Lewis Hamiltons got a hundred and four”

-but enough about the front of the field, lets go to where the real party is: the back of the field

-interestingly enough, the commentators seem to be on logans side. saying things about him like “logan sargeant, pretty dismal day yesterday” (referring to the crash) and “logan sargeant he needs to find some more confidence” which was hard for him, considering that he was running the older spec of the car (without any updates because of the time constraints to fix the car and the parts shortages)

-q1 was going fairly standard as usual, meaning that all the usual suspects were going slow and all the usual suspects were going fast. until the last literal minute when everyone did their last flying lap.

-right smack in a row we had valtteri bottas jump up to 8th spot, esteban ocon jump to 13th spot, alex albon jump to 15th and daniel ricciardo jump up to 11th spot (one whole position in front of his teammate, yuki! which was looking good for him because people have started to point out that danny rics is running in the same deficit as nyck de vries was to yuki last year before he got replaced)

-this knocked lance stroll out of qualifying and smacked him straight into p15 for the start by about .06 seconds. truly disappointing because suzuka is one of his strong tracks and hes Never gotten out in q1 in suzuka before!

-he was seen walking down the pit lane looking like a wet sad cat with his trainer

-unfortunately, estie bestie, bottas, danny rics and alex albon all promptly had their dreams shattered when they got knocked out of qualifying in q2. :/

-george russell also nearly almost killed oscar piastri in the pit lane. mercedes got fined 5k euros for it.

-q2 was where some real excitement began though for the faster teams, especially one lando norris who once again went fastest in the first sector and landed himself p3 right behind the dueling red bulls

-this of course continued into q3

-and low and behold, sir lewis hamilton was Back and he was back with an absolute vengeance

-his first lap was only half a second off of one max verstappen, and he then claimed the fastest first and third sector time

-that was snapped up by max shortly after

-and then by lando

-but crofty got confused looking at the two mclarens and was saying lando when he meant oscar (who was a little further down the grid trying to get in for p5) and said "lando goes second fastest!" before he had in fact gone second fastest. and then he did. crofty has some magic powers i think

-so the top 6 drivers were all separated by .5 seconds

-but it was really max .2 seconds ahead and then the next 5 separated by .3 seconds

-this left a few people confused as to how they still could shave off time, cause they were going as fast as they possibly could

-these people were sir lewis hamilton, fernando alonso and charles leclerc

-and their radios were quite comical

-from charles we had: “that’s the best that i can do. honestly i don’t get it”

-from sir lewis: "where's that half a second man...?"

-and fernando alonso also said something but i cant find it so you'll just have to take my word for it i suppose!

-upsetting for sure, but all three were confident that the race would go better

-someone who wasnt upset (for once!) was lando norris!! who went p3 and polite catted all over the post qualifying interview where this happened:

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and so. the race began. here was the starting order:

1. max verstappen 2. sergio perez 3. lando norris 4. carlos sainz 5. fernando alonso 6. oscar piastri 7. lewis hamilton 8. charles leclerc 9. george russell 10. yuki tsunoda 11. daniel ricciardo 12. nico hulkenberg 13. valtteri bottas 14. alex albon 15. esteban ocon 16. lance stroll 17. pierre gasly 18. kevin magnussen 19. logan sargeant 20. zhou guanyu

ITS LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO!!!

well. only until turn 2. when the race was red flagged because danny rics and alex albon decided to play bumper cars and spin into the tire barrier. so now if youre keeping track, alex albon has crashed his own car AND logan sargeants car

-literally the announcers were immediately like well the drivers are ok is the chassis ok (the chassis is Not ok, as it was revealed later, aparently a tire from the barrier got stuck under the car and caused some damage) (the car will supposedly be ready for china in 2 weeks tho)

-during the red flag Several memes occurred:

-yuki literally jumped up and Perched on the pit wall like a bird

-nico hulkenberg busted out the folding chair again:

-aston martin was very big chillin during the red flag, especially lance stroll who was firmly in his disney prince arc:

-then after a brief intermission, the boys got back in their cars and ready to go!

-lights out and away we go part two! electric boogaloo!!

-playing a big huge role in the race was the Tire Strategy

-quick refresher: three tire compounds, the soft, the medium and the hard

-you have to use at Least two different tire compounds during the race

-the softer the tire the faster you go, but the harder the tire the longer they last

-theres also something called The Undercut

-which is where you pit for tires Before the person you are trying to pass or stay in front of, and use the fresher tires to take their position

-the opposite of this is the Overcut

-which is staying out longer on used tires to try and create as much of a gap as you can so that you loose less stops when pit stopping because a pit stop takes usually at least 20 seconds (or 40 if youre stake)

-so with the red flag everyone got A Free Pitstop! problem is that it was so early into the race that it really didnt help anyone and kind of use fucked up some peoples strategies, like mercedes. and ferrari.

-but we will get back to that

-first the french civil war!

-not too long after the restart esteban ocon radioed in to say “pierre gave me a hit on the side, let me know if it’s ok” and it was indeed okay but still!

-meanwhile logan sargeant was running dead last :/ until nico hulkenberg pitted on lap 6! so he ended up ahead of him

-meanwhile up at the front perez went wide and off track and lando started to close in, hoping to overtake for p2 but not quite managing it

-and then, horror of all horrors, bottas pitted!! but surprisingly "by sauber standards it was ok!" meaning it was only about 4 seconds instead of 20. and! it put logan up another place!

-and then logan jumped up another two places to p14 because yuki and zhou pitted on lap 8

-this gave logan an opportunity to pass pierre gasley. and he Almost managed it on lap 9

-lando started to struggle a little bit on his tires on lap 9, intensifying the battle between him and carlos for p3.

-meanwhile mercedes started to have their classic mercedes problem with george russell saying “steering wheel starting to feel a bit strange. lots of vibrations” on lap 10

-but then!! incredibly!!! pierre loost the rear end oh his car on lap 11 and logan was able to pass him for p13!!! woo!!

-and then started the bonkers strategy calls. lando pitted on lap 11, going for the undercut over carlos, meanwhile carlos did not come in, opting for the overcut

-and then on lap 12 zhou pitted again??? which was odd cause he ha pitted only a few laps before. crofty was perplexed and said “we will get ted on the case on that one”

-and then oscar pitted on lap 13. this was still early to pit for tires, but mclaren was struggling with tire degradation (deg) (tire wear)

-lap 14 we got a radio from sir lewis hamilton asking “shall i let george by?” and one lap later they did a little swip swap they do swap on lap 14

-shock and horror abounded as zhou pitted once again!!!!! aparently it was an electrical problem!!! and he had to retire the car on lap 14

-and then!!! logan sargeant passed esteban ocon on lap 15 for p11!!! only one spot away from the points!!!

-perex and sainz pitted on laps 15 and 16, which vaulted our buddy charles leclerc up to p2 and 17 seconds behind one max verstappen. both of them on old tires.

-max was leading followed by charles, george, lewis, lando, checo, carlos, fernando, oscar, and kevin

-and then, wonderful news for mr leclerc, max pitted on lap 17, leaving charles in p1. and he stayed in p1 until lap 21 when max finally overtook him again

-meanwhile, bottas passed logan for p11 and perez started to move his way back up the order again

-sir lewis hamiltons tires were dead by lap 19 and by lap 21 he called to mercedes to "change this strategy!" the strategy being a one stop race (only changing tires once) because most of the people around them were doing a two stop race

-hamilton started to get overtaken by several people including carlos and fernando and there was nothing he could do about it because he was on old and dead tires

-also on a one stop was charles, except he was working his ass off to make the strategy work as he was still managing to hold onto p2, with the rest of the drivers closing in on him with their fresher, faster tires

-and down in the mid field in p16 esteban ocon was told “ok esteban we need to push now please” and he was not pleased with this saying “i am pushing what are you talking about!!”

-but turns out he was being told this because FIVE drivers ahead of him all pitted at once on lap 23. ted, the resident pit lane commentator, called it a "right old karamberage"

-those drivers being logan, bottas, magnussen, yuki and lance

-logan had a slow stop and was knocked back to p16

-meanwhile leclerc was still hanging onto p2 on 24 lap old tires with lando norris behind him. bonkers man.

-charles though made a mistake and went off track. lando nearly overtook him on lap 23 but they both end up getting called into the pits for tires.

-charles and lando came out of the pits but got split by george russell, all there of them running p6, 7 and 8. this was where they hoped that the one stop mercedes strategy would pay off. but alas it did not because lando passed george on lap 28

-and so

-the last batch of bonkersness

-the race was currently running as follows:

-verstappen, perez, sainz, alonso, piastri, leclerc, norris, russell

-and on lap 31 charles radios the pits to ask “who in front still needs to stop?” and the answer comes as “everyone in front still needs to stop again”

-leclerc does not need to stop again

-this is where they hope the tire strategy and the overcut will pay off for charles because the top 5 pit stops will create a massive battle as everyone should Theoretically come out around where lando is (behind charles)

-the pit stops begin on lap 33 with oscar, perez follows on lap 34 and verstappen on lap 35

-down at the back of the field there is another battle going on and that is bottas chasing kevin magnussen, who starts weaving on the straight. which valtteri is pissed about and he says: “report him! weaving from magnussen!”

-logan joins the pit stop crew and pits on lap 35 as well, and he holds his p15 position!

-back up in the front, perez passes lando and sainz pits after going wide on the chicane on lap 5

-lewis is still complaining about his tires, but mercedes doesnt want to pit again and fuck up their strategy (or what remains of one) reguardless though they still do, and Hamilton pits on lap 40, coming out in p9

-and then, the fateful radio from carlos: “am i on a race here or what?” because carlos wants to know if he can overtake charles if he catches him. ferrari says that he is allowed to. charles is running p3, carlos is p5 and lando is p4 on lap 41

-and then! out of nowhere! logan goes into the gravel on lap 43! yellow flag!

-he doesnt crash though, and is able to reverse back onto the track. he pits for tires. and he comes out in dead last place 38 seconds behind pierre gasley in front of him. so much for a good solid race from logan.

-back at the front, lando locks up on lap 43 and carlos overtakes him a lap later

-sainz is 1.1 seconds off leclerc

-and on lap 46 carlos passes charles for p3

-further down, lance stroll passes magnussen and hulkenberg on lap 47 and now he’s up to p11. then he has the most canadian sounding radio ever:

-this was immediately following a pretty impressive overtake on part of the track that people dont usually overtake on

-and then george and oscar started battling! george nudged oscar off the track slightly and according to oscar “he didn’t give me anywhere to go in the chicane i had to cut”

-oscar was running right behind fernando alonso, who let oscar get into his drs to keep him ahead of george

-this worked until the very last lap when george just about managed to pass him

-the checkered flag came out

-charles was voted driver of the day, but he was still massively disappointed and said "fuck. i am p4. i thought we could have done something at one point. but its life."

and with that, here was our finishing order:

1. max verstappen 2. checo perez 3. carlos sainz 4. charles leclerc 5. lando norris 6. fernando alonso 7. george russell 8. oscar piastri 9. lewis hamilton 10. yuki tsunoda 11. nico hülkenberg 12. lance stroll 13. kevin magnussen 14. valtteri bottas 15. esteban ocon 16. pierre gasly 17. logan sargeant DNF zhou guanyu DNF daniel ricciardo DNF alexander albon

max flexed getting out of the car. but the real surprise came in the cool down room when max AND checo defended charles to carlos and basically were like. he deserved to be here over you buddy.

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and well, we already unpacked lestappen. so you can put the pieces here together.

max's girlfriend kelly and her daughter penelope were back at the race this weekend. and max said that he was glad that nothing bad happened this time because he didnt want p to think she was a bad omen after he dnfd at the australia race

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and while this might be a massive green flag for max. we were all once again treated to the combo of dutch and austrian national anthem once again. or, in th words of crofty: "for all of us who have missed the dutch and austrian national anthems here they are again”

and in the words of my sister, "the dutch national anthem hits different at 3am. its a worse experience."

heading into the post race interviews we had one will buxton and one jack doohan, who was serving biology class teachers assistant in desperate need of a haircut. and they were with one mr james vowels, williams team principal.

james did say that the crashes have destroyed any opportunities to bring updates because theyre still lacking parts, but he was excited that logan was running well and overtaking people because it meant that they have a fast and capable car. so perhaps things are looking better for logan? he did say that logan going off the track was just indicative of how hard he was pushing

alex and daniel both looked quite miserable about their crashes. neither were exactly coherent but that could have been because it was nearly 4 in the morning from where i was watching and i was sleepy as shit

zhou had a gear box issue

yuki was the first japanese driver to get points in japan for a long while

they also spoke with toto who said “we had an atrotious first stint good second and third” and he seemed pissed. i think it was generous of him to say that the second and third stints were good

alex jacques then appeared and the only note that i have written about him is that he looked like he should be doing ventriloquism. again, it was after 4am.

but alex and will talked about mclaren. oscar said they struggled more than expected “not the afternoon we were looking for”

and then will and alex had the audacity to say that they didnt think lando would be upset with his result. lando was upset with his result. naturally. hes the kind of self deprecation.

he said the usual: “did what we could which was not enough” and “especially with the hot conditions” and then he pulled this stat out of nowhere: “last year i finished 17 seconds off the win, this year i finished 29”

toto aparently thinks a major driver move will be signed in a few weeks and will thinks it’s carlos but they did say why would red bull get rid of checo if hes being consistent in p2....

will then got pissed at the f1 points graphic going too quickly and i think that that just about does it!

and that concludes the Big Important Stuff from the race. lets rapid fire the rest of the shenanigans:

-charles leclerc posted a video of himself slaying at dance dance revolution. you could watch the originial on his acc but this one is more entertaining

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-sir lewis hamilton took the merc team bowling as per tradition

-stake played street hockey

-kimi antonelli is going to be taking the f1 test in the 2021 merc, which is necessary for him to become an f1 driver. maybe he will get the seat after all as its being speculated that fernando alonso is going to continue at aston

-people found this comment on the max and charles inchident video:

-oscar piastri shit on alpine again:

-it was also oscars birthday and mclaren surprised him with cake

-toto wolff decided to attend the Japanese gp after he had originally intended to miss it, given that the team is still performing so poorly

-mike krak, the aston martin team principal was asked if the reports of adrian newey going to aston martin are true. he said, quite literally, "no" (but this is f1, so it still could mean yes)

-yuki parkoured into the paddock, clearly giving no shits because he was at his home race:

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-the camera operators this weekend chose violence with some of their camera zooms and cuts, including zooming into liam lawson every time that daniel ricciardo made a mistake:

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-there were these two very confusing pictures of lando and oscar that came from the weekend:

-alpine social media admin chose violence:

-as did the merc admin:

and there is probably more, there is always probably more, but i am going to quit while i am ahead and before my computer crashes

the next race is two weeks from now in china, which no one has been to in awhile due to covid. its also a sprint weekend, meaning theres the full length race and a shorter race as well. it is also one of the few races i cant watch live this year because i have a work trip and cannot justify staying up until 6am to watch when i need to be on a plane at 7am :/ so that update will be delayed, but rest assured, it will come

again, thank you to everyone who makes this massive post possible, you all know who you are :)

thanks for reading and provided nothing insane happens next week, ill see you all in china!

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

#not a tag #from saph #saph explains silly season 2024 #if the read more doesnt work i will scream and cry #anyway this is such a long one im sorry #i think i spent a total of 13 hours typing this #japan gp 2024 #f1 #formula 1 #woooooooo #Youtube #Instagram #apologies for the middle part where i clearly lose my sanity the nico rosberg videos were something else #just realized i didnt cite any of my sources for the jules crash or the pierre almost crash its all from wikipedia if ur curious

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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years ago

Text

Evans

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: Tom gets jealous after he witnesses a moment between you and Chris Evans

Masterlist

As much as you loved filming the movies, your favorite part about being in the MCU was going to the conventions.

You loved getting on stage with your cast mates and answering questions. You especially loved when you got to attend the conventions with your best friend Tom. Your fondest memories with him were made during nights following a convention. You’d always get a joint hotel room and stay up late, too buzzed on adrenaline from the panel to fall asleep.

Going to conventions with Tom usually opened up a whole new debate on the nature of your relationship. Snap chats and Instagram stories made from the same hotel room always set off more theories that you were dating. You weren’t, but you didn’t mind the theories.

The current panel you were at was no different from the others. The whole cast stood in a line, with you sandwiched between Tom and Mackie. You listened along to all the questions asked until you heard your name.

“Chris, you and Y/n worked together in the past on Scott Pilgrim vs The World, where you played one of her evil ex boyfriends.” The journalist said to Chris Evans. “How did you react when you heard she was joining the MCU cast?

“I was really happy about it.” Chris said into his mic. “I’ll admit, I had a bit of a crush on Y/n when we were filming Scott Pilgrim so I was very excited when she got added to the cast.”

Tom felt his ears turn pink when he heard Chris’s confession. It was no secret that he liked you, but he had no idea Chris liked you too. He looked to you to see your reaction, mouth going dry when he saw the shocked smile on your face.

“Are you serious?” You laughed in surprise. “I had a crush on you too.”

Tom turned away a little, suddenly feeling a sick feeling in his stomach. He didn’t like where this conversation was going.

“What?” He raised his eyebrows. “How did I not know?”

“Because I was awkward and shy and didn’t know how to talk to you.” You said sheepishly as you pressed a cold hand to your face. “But I swear, I told Michael and Anna all about it.”

Tom lowered his microphone so the crowd couldn’t hear him gulp. He didn’t know why it bothered him as much as it did to know you and Chris had feelings for each other. You had filmed Scott Pilgrim a few years back, so the feelings were long gone by now. Still, it sent a white hot jealously through Toms veins as he watched you and Chris smile at each other.

“I can’t believe you never told me.” Chris chuckled. “I actually remember being upset that we didn’t have a kiss in the movie. I was like, how am I playing one of her boyfriends but we don’t get to kiss?”

“Aw.” Tom forced a laugh. “Poor you.”

The audience laughed at his joke, but you never took your eyes off Chris.

“I was genuinely upset about it at the time.” Chris continued. “I think I called my mom to complain.”

Tom watched with a tight jaw as you held your hand over your heart and beamed. You were obviously loving the attention from Chris while Tom was hating it.

“Hey, I didn’t write the script.” You shrugged. “I definitely would’ve thrown one in there if I had.”

“I think the movie is perfect as it is.” Tom cut in, earning a few laughs. “I don’t think there needed to be a kiss. Kisses are stupid anyway.”

“Wait a minute, we almost kissed in the last movie too.” Chris remembered. “To like hide our faces from HYDRA agents or something.”

“That’s right.” You gasped. “They took it out before we ever shot it.”

“Such a shame.” Chris clicked his tongue as he shook his head. “Missed you twice now.”

The reaction from the audience made you hide your face in embarrassment, feeling your face hot to the touch.

“I promise, you’re not missing much.” You laughed shyly.

“Yeah, well.” Chris rubbed the back of his neck. “I bet I was.”

Just when Tom thought it couldn’t get any worse, he saw an idea pop into your head.

“Wait, hold my mic.” You said as you handed your microphone to Anthony.

Tom could only watch as you walked across the stage and put your hands on either side of Chris’s face before pulling him into a kiss. The audience was deafening as Chris kissed you back. It didn’t last long, but it was long enough to make all the color drain from Toms face. You both pulled away laughing, Chris with his signature hand over his left side. You clapped your hands as you laughed before walking back to your spot.

“Well damn.” Anthony said into his microphone. “I didn’t get to kiss her either.”

“Yeah.” Sebastian teased. “Do we all get some of that?”

“Shut up.” You laughed shyly as you fixed your hair. “There. Now you got your kiss.”

“Thank you.” Chris laughed into his microphone. “I was not expecting that.”

“Neither was I.” Tom mumbled, his microphone hanging limply at his side. The rest of the panel went by without any further flirtations, but Tom wouldn’t have known if there had been. He had completely zoned out, too upset with what he had seen to focus.

You unlocked the door to your shared hotel room and saw Tom sitting at the kitchen table. His face was buried in his phone and he skimmed through the endless amount of tweets about the kiss from earlier. It was only making him more angry to see thousands of gifs and pictures of it, as well as all the messages from fans saying what a cute couple you and Chris made, but he couldn’t stop. He was too busy scrolling to hear you come in.

“Hey.” You smiled at him as you set your stuff down. “You did such a good job out there. I swear, you always get the most laughs. It’s not fair.”

“Hm.” Tom nodded, keeping his eyes on his phone. “Thanks.”

“Is everything okay?” You frowned when you noticed his standoffish behavior. You walked over to him and reached out to touch him, but he moved away.

“Yeah.” He shrugged unconvincingly. “It’s fine. We’re fine.”

“I didn’t ask if we were fine.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “Are we not fine?”

“I said we were fine.” He held up his hands in annoyance. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay.” You rolled your eyes a little. “Sorry I asked.”

Tom gave you a sarcastic smile and went back to his phone, completely ignoring you now. You didn’t know what his problem was, but you knew you didn’t want to fight.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something? You can pick this time.” You offered, trying to offer an olive branch.

“Actually, I’m kinda tired.” He said faintly. “I think I’m just gonna turn in.”

“Really? It’s so early.” You checked your phone and saw it was only 8 pm. “And I’m bored.”

“Yeah?” He finally looked up at you. “Then why don’t you go see what Evans is up to? I’m sure he’d love to finish what you started on stage today.”

You jutted your head back in surprise, not expecting that to come out of his mouth. He looked partial to guilty for snapping at you, but his anger was the most prominent emotion.

“What?” You laughed in shock. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you kissing Evans in front of all those people.” He snapped. “I didn’t even know you liked him like that.”

You laughed again, thinking he had to be joking. You never said it out loud, but you assumed Tom knew you liked him. After all, you were the only cast mates sharing a hotel room.

“I don’t.” You said, unsure where that accusation came from.

“Yeah?” He cocked his head. “Cause it kinda looked like you did.”

“I don’t.” You repeated. “I used to when we were filming Scott Pilgrim a few years ago but I stopped before we even wrapped.”

“Then why did you kiss him?” Tom asked, his voice wearing thin.

“I don’t know. We were joking around.” You shrugged it off. “It was for the fans, if anything. You know how much they love that stuff.”

“They would’ve loved it just as much if you had just blown him a kiss.” Tom said. “You didn’t have to kiss him.”

“Who cares?” You asked. “Everyone loved it.”

“Not everyone.” He stated, keeping his eyes on the ground. You looked at him for a moment, realizing you had never seen him act like this.

“Why are you getting so upset about this?” You asked calmly, still not understanding.

“Because what you did upset me.” He shouted as he gestured to himself.

“Why?” You raised your voice as well now. “It was just a stupid joke. It had nothing to do with you.”

“It wasn’t a joke to me.” He shook his head. “Watching you practically run across the stage to kiss him in front of all those people was not a joke.”

“I didn’t run across the stage.” You said, starting to get annoyed. “I walked to him and kissed him. That’s it. It’s not a big deal.”

“Did you like it?” He asked with an unreadable expression.

“What?”

“Did you like kissing him?” He repeated as he let out a shaky breath.

“You know how it feels to kiss other actors.” You shrugged. “It just felt like lips on lips.”

“You must have some sort of feelings for him to kiss him like that.” He said, his eyes looking glassy.

“So what if I do?” You retorted, angry with him now for yelling at you.

“What?” His voice came out in a whisper. “Do you?”

“Are you listening to anything I’m saying? I don’t have feelings for Evans. But if I did, it wouldn’t be any of your business. Because maybe you haven’t realized this yet, but you’re not my boyfriend.” You yelled, making him retreat into himself.

The silence that followed was deafening, making you feel guilty for what you said. You felt like you popped the happy bubble that you and Tom lived in, the one where you never confronted your feelings for each other but understood that they were there. Tom sucked in a sharp breath and let out a long sigh as he looked you in the eyes. He gave you a sad smile and nodded his head as if he was reluctantly agreeing with you. You opened your mouth to speak, but Tom was already moving past you. His shoulder brushed yours as he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

You stood there in shock, unsure of what just happened. You felt like you had just broken up with someone you were never actually with. You covered your mouth with your hand, ashamed with what you had said to him. You hit him where you knew it would hurt him and now he was gone.

Despite sharing a hotel room, you didn’t see Tom until the next morning. He was eating breakfast at the kitchen counter, not looking at you as you made coffee. You sighed and sat down next to him, knowing you had to make things right before you went out to do press. You didn’t want to spend a full day doing interviews with him without resolving the fight.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you yesterday.” You began as you watched his face for his reaction. “It was mean of me to tell you you weren’t my boyfriend like that.”

“It’s okay.” He mumbled as he stirred his tea. “You don’t have to apologize. You were right. I’m not your boyfriend.”

“We need to talk about yesterday.” You said softly as you looked at him. You could tell he was still bitter about the kiss.

“I don’t want-“

“We have to.” You cut him off. “We had a fight and now we need to talk about it.”

He sighed and rubbed his eyes before slumping in his seat.

“You start.” You said as you put your folded hands on the table.

“I don’t know where to start.” He mumbled.

“Just tell me how you feel.” You suggested. Tom sighed as he put his words together in his mind, wanting to make things right just as much as you did.

“I didn’t like it even you kissed Chris.” He said softly, keeping his eyes on the table.

“I got that part.” You tried to joke. “Why?”

“Because he’s older and taller and bigger than me.” Tom listed off.

“And?” You were confused.

“And I can’t compete.” Tom whispered, hanging his head in shame. The fragility in his voice made your heart break and you realized he was never angry with you.

He was heartbroken.

“Tommy, you don’t have to compete with anyone.” You said softly as you stroked his cheek with your thumb.

“I didn’t think I had to.” He continued. “I thought I had you. I know we don’t really talk about…us, but I thought we had an unspoken agreement that we liked each other. I know I liked you and I thought you liked me back until you…”

“Until I what?” You asked.

“Kissed another boy.” He laughed sadly. “Sorry. A man. Captain freaking America.”

“You were jealous.” You realized, trying to fight back a smile. “That’s why you threw your little tantrum.”

“How could I not be?” He looked up. “Have you seen how broad his shoulders are?”

You had to laugh, which made him crack a smile. The tension had disappeared and you had entered new territory, so you decided to keep going.

“And have you seen the way I look at you?” You teased him. “Or the way I immediately go to you in a crowded room? Have you seen how I’m always finding a way to touch you? Does any of that sound familiar?”

“Yeah.” Tom smiled sheepishly. “It does.”

“I like you too.” You admitted. “Of course I like you too. But I already told you, that kiss was just a joke. It was just for the fans.”

“I know.” He sighed and rubbed his face. “It just shook my confidence, you know? I figured if he wanted you too, I didn’t stand a chance.”

“I don’t want him.” You assured him. “I want you.”

Toms lips curved into a smile, a proud look coming across his face. He reached over and put his hand on top of yours, rubbing small circles with his thumb.

“I never should have yelled at you.” He said quietly as he stared at your hands. “I just hated that he got to kiss you before I did.”

“I get that.” You nodded. “But you can’t flip out and yell at me when you get a little jealous. You have to be okay with me being close to other people.”

“I know. I’m sorry that I got so jealous.” He shook his head at himself. “I’m not that guy. I don’t want you thinking that’s who I am.”

“I know who you are.” You leaned over the table and tilted his chin so he would look at you. “Why do you think I like you as much as I do?”

“I like hearing you say that.” He mumbled, keeping his eyes on your lips.

“I like saying it.” You smirked at him as you began to lean in.

Before your lips could touch, his phone buzzed, making both of you jump. Tom sighed and picked up his phone to see what the interruption was.

“Shoot. That’s Rachel.” He frowned. “She wants me down at hair and makeup. Can we talk about this later? This is really important to me and I don’t want to rush it.”

“Of course.” You nodded. “Go get your hair done. We’ll talk later.”

Tom gave you an apologetic smile before getting up and putting his cup in the sink. He moved to the door but you stood up.

“Tom, wait.” You called, quickly walking to where he was. You put your hands on his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his cheek, letting it linger until you felt his cheeks heat up.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” You told him, making him feel better about missing out on the kiss. He smiled softly and nodded before leaving the hotel room. You left to get your own hair and makeup done, an idea forming in your mind as you sat in your chair.

After getting hair and makeup done, you walked down to the lobby and went into one of the conference rooms. You saw the rest of the cast standing in a circle and went up to to them.

“There she is.” Anthony clapped as you walked up to the group. “Mrs. Evans.”

“Don’t start with that. You’re just mad it wasn’t you I was kissing out there.” You teased him, making him laugh.

“Maybe. I have a feeling I know who else is mad.” He said as he nodded his head to gesture to something behind you. You turned around and saw Tom approaching, a smile taking over your features at the sight of him. He gave you a knowing look and stood next to you as he joined the group.

“Hey guys.” He greeted, shooting Chris a quick look.

“There you are.” You smiled a little before grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him into a kiss. You felt his wide eyes flutter shut, eyelashes tickling you as he closed his eyes. He stepped forward to get closer to you before bringing his hand to face. The cast exchanged knowing looks right before you pulled away, a smile on both of your faces.

“Woah. When did that happen?” Scarlett nudged you.

“I thought it’d been happening for a while.” Anthony snorted. “Was I the only one?”

“No, I definitely saw something there. That’s why I was so surprised about yesterday.” Chris chuckled. You felt Tom tense up when he mentioned it, so you gave him a look. He relaxed and nodded, reminding himself he had nothing to be jealous of.

“I was surprised too.” He said, keeping his tone playful. “So don’t let it happen again.”

“I won’t.” Chris held up his hands. “Dodger and I are very happen on our own. He’s not willing to share me with anyone.”

“He and I have that in common then.” Tom said as draped his arm around your shoulders.

“Whats that?” You asked as you looked at Tom. He gave you a soft smile before pulling you closer to kiss your forehead.

“I don’t like to share.”

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#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x yn #tom holland x actress!reader #chris evans x reader #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst

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helliontherapscallion · 4 years ago

Text

Magnum Opus (Adrenaline Junkie Part 7)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing

Word count: 2,451

(A/N): our dear little (y/n) needed a break from the angst, so I gave them one : )

You were finally done with the prototype for your prosthetic. It took blood, sweat, and tears and hours upon hours to get the measurements precisely right, but you were finally done. You were one step closer to freedom and you were ecstatic. You were practically vibrating with excitement.

Sprinting up the stairs with your pride and joy closed and wrapped in a sheet, you made a beeline for the front door passing Philza in the process. You heard him ask you something, but you were already darting past him through the door and outside. Before long, you were at the top of the cliff you designated as your test site.

The cliff was perfect for gliding. It towered over the ground at a perfect height for you to gain air resistance in time and overlooked a vast, empty field that stretched as far as the eye could see. A few herds of chickens and cows were scattered here and there, but if you were careful you could probably steer away. Probably. If you hit a cow, it wouldn’t hurt that much, right?

Sliding on the prosthetic was a little bit of a struggle. You had to awkwardly twist your body around and uncomfortably reach for your upper back to fasten the leather belts securely around your nub, but you would get faster at it once you put it on more. Smiling in satisfaction when it was on, you tested out the abduction and adduction capabilities of the iron joints by pulling on the string you attached to the ends of each joint. The wing opened and closed with ease.

Now, the only thing you had to test out was if it worked or not. You backed up to the point of the cliff where it started to slope down and took a few deep breaths. Here goes nothing.

You broke into a sprint towards the edge of the cliff. The precipice was coming nearer and nearer, there’s no backing out now, you had to follow through if you wanted a successful flight. If you killed yourself in the name of innovation, then so be it.

When you bunched up the muscles in your legs to jump out as far as you could, you pulled the rope that extends your wing and firmly pulled it taut. You wobbled in the air slightly before you stabilized yourself. The air was flowing freely past you as you glide through the warm summer air.

You started to laugh loudly in triumph as you soared through the air. For the first time in almost one and a half years, you felt truly free. You felt infinite even like nothing could drag you down. Time around you seemed to slow down as you relished the feeling of freedom and being emancipated from your life on the ground. The warm air rustling through the base of your feathers on your left wing felt like heaven.

Unfortunately, what goes up must come down. You were getting closer and closer to the ground, so you had to land. You extended your legs under you and your feet made contact with the grass below you. Your momentum made you take a few swift steps forward, but overall, you landed safely.

Cackling, you jumped up and down in place and repeatedly punched the air. Your wing fluttered happily rustling the strands of grass around you with strong gusts of air.

“YES YES YES YES I FUCKING DID IT!”

“I’M BRILLIANT!”

“HOLY SHIT!”

The nearby herds of animals scurried away from you, their peaceful grazing interrupted by your excited shouting. Normally you would’ve felt bad for them, but you didn’t care; your invention worked! You had to show your family, they had to see this.

Philza was startled by the front door bursting open and banging against the wall. Your loud voice booming through the silence of the house. There goes his quiet day.

“DAADDDDD, WILBUR, TECHNO, TOMMY COME HERE I FUCKING DID IT! I! FUCKING! FIGURED! IT! OUUUUTTTT!”

You heard footsteps running towards you as Philza ran down the hallways and into your field of vision. His startled wide eyes scanned your form. Your face was split in a wide grin and your eyes were impossibly wide as they regarded him. Your entire body was practically vibrating like you were barely keeping your excitement and elation at bay. Your wing was flittering rapidly behind you.

But what caught his eye was the leather attached to your back where your other wing was supposed to be. It was the exact same size as your left wing.

“I-Is that…?”

You giggled uncontrollably in glee. “Yes! Oh, I need to show you how it works!”

You grabbed his hand and drug him to the couch with a surprising amount of strength. Plopping him down, you began spewing and gesturing wildly towards your newest invention.

“Ok ok ok, so this is just a prototype of course, but I was inspired by a bat’s wings with the leather and the general structure. I made the joints and the structural support rods out of thin iron so that it doesn’t weigh it down or make any drag. I can open and close it with this,” you pulled the rope and the wing opened, “and I have a hole for my wing to go into and it’s secured by belts and it even lets me glide and ohmygoddadisntitamazing?”

Philza looked at you with disbelief as you rattled on about how your invention works. How exactly did you make this without him noticing that you were making it? Where did you learn how to work with leather? When you were done, he looked at you with a smile.

“It’s fantastic hun. But how do you know that it lets you glide?”

You paused and gave him a sheepish smile. “About that… I may have, kinda… sorta, jumpedoffacliff.”

“You what? Do you understand how dangerous that was?”

You felt a burning anger flare up from deep inside of you. You just found out that you could somewhat fly again and he has the audacity to not care. “Yes, but how was I supposed to know if it worked or not? It’s not like I have anyone with the same sized wing as I do. The measurements had to be exact. One wrong measurement would make you crash! But that’s not the important part, I can fly again! Don’t you care about that?”

His eyes softened. “Of course I do, (y/n). It’s amazing that you can fly again but I’m just worried about how you tested it out. What if it didn’t work? You could’ve died again, (y/n).”

You felt your eye twitch. “Dad, life is all about risk. If you don’t take a risk every now and then, you’re just… standing still! What kind of life is that?”

He held your heated glare with sad, desperate eyes. “I… I just can’t lose you again, (y/n). Promise me that I won’t lose you again. That you won’t do reckless things like this anymore.”

Oh.

You let your stance relax and your left wing tucked itself back in. Walking over to him, you sat next to him, wrapping your left wing around him in an awkward kind of side hug. Fiddling with your thumbs, you replied softly. “You aren’t going to lose me again anytime soon, that I can promise you, but I can’t promise that I won’t do reckless things. Like I said, life is all about risks. You have to take them if you wanna move on. I wanna move on with my life, I’m sick of being stuck in one place.”

He rubbed at his eyes tiredly as he sighed. There was no convincing you when you were like this. He’s learned that trying to steer you in another direction is like Sisyphus finally reaching the top of the mountain only to have the massive stone roll back down again. Getting you to agree was something that went against your motives just wasn’t going to happen.

“...Do you want to move out?”

“What? Nonononono, I don’t want to move out yet. I just meant that I was tired of not moving on with life after that thing took my wing.”

He gave a watery chuckle. “Good, I wouldn’t have anybody to make me breakfast in the mornings or split wood with me if you moved out.”

He twisted his upper body towards you and pulled you into a warm hug. “I’m not leaving anytime soon. You don’t need to worry about me anymore.”

You two stayed like that for a while before he pulled back and gestured for you to turn around. You obliged and he got a closer look at your prosthetic, opening and closing it with the rope.

“...This is just a prototype. I’m still trying to figure out a way to automatically move the wing without having to pull the rope.”

He hummed in thought. “Have you thought about using redstone?”

“Yeah, but everything’s just too… bulky. I might have to make a tiny sensor so that it receives impulses from my muscles and moves when I want it to. That’s gonna take me a long time.”

“I’m sure that you’ll figure it out soon, you’re creative. Probably the most innovative of your generation… I’m proud of you, ya know. You’ve grown up and overcome so much in such a short amount of time.” He said genuinely.

You felt your face heat up and a small smile shaped your lips. You loved it when people praised you for your achievements, especially your dad. It warmed your heart to hear that he’s still proud of you, even if you’re almost an adult now.

He clapped a hand on your shoulder and started to walk to the door.

“...Where are you going?”

He looked over his shoulder with a smirk. “We are gonna go find your brothers so we can show them how amazing you are.”

Your eyes lit up and your previous excitement returned tenfold. Laughing boisterously, you grabbed his hand and started sprinting, dragging him behind you. He laughed with you as he kept up with you with ease.

You two ran until you hit the forest where Tommy was with Tubbo at the goat hybrid’s bee farm. They looked at you with alarm as you both almost crashed into one of the hives. Bees buzzed around peacefully, completely contradicting the energy you and Philza had.

“Tommy, Tubbo, you have to follow us!”

They glanced at each other. “Why-”

You shushed them. “No questions! I have something to show you!”

You turned on your heel and started to sprint towards the woods where you can hear the soft strumming of a guitar.

“WIILLBURRRRR”

His head poked out from behind a large tree trunk. “What could you possibly want? I’m practicing.”

“No time to explain, follow me.”

You once again ran away towards the shooting range Techno was in. Currently, he was working on his aim with a crossbow.

“Techno!”

He jumped and accidentally pressed the trigger, making the arrow completely miss the target by several feet. He lightly glared at you. “(Y/n), don’t do that. I could’ve sho-”

“Sorry Tech, but you’re coming with me. I have something to show you.”

Like you did with Tommy and Wilbur, you darted off without letting him respond. In no time, you and your family reached the cliff. At the top, you turned towards them with a slightly crazed grin and sparkling eyes. They looked extremely confused as to why they were up there.

“I bet you’re all wondering why I’ve brought you here today. Well boys, I present to you,” you paused for dramatic effect, “my magnum opus!”

You yanked the rope and your leather wing extended with a glorious fwoosh. You watched as their jaws dropped and they looked at you with differing expressions. Philza looked at you with beaming pride, Techno and Wilbur looked at you with complete surprise, Tubbo smiled widely at you, and Tommy was speechless.

Grinning wider, you pointed out all the intricacies of your invention. They all listened attentively, absorbing every single detail you explained. They were fascinated with the idea of using prosthetics.

You smirked. “Now, I’m sure you all would like a live demonstration. Step aside.”

You turned around and started walking towards where you started your take off earlier. You steeled your nerves and broke into a sprint. Once again jumping off the cliff and pulling your wing open, you heard your family gasp as you wobbled in the air slightly before you steadied yourself and began gliding. Their horrified gasps and shouts quickly turned into cheering as you glided away from them.

As you were midair, you heard the flutter of feathers behind you as Philza appeared in your peripheral vision. He was grinning widely at you as his giant wings flapped to keep him next to you. You grinned back and in that moment, everything felt right. You would always have your family to support you.

You landed safely on the ground with a few steps and Philza followed suit, pulling you into a soft winged hug. You squeezed him back with vigor.

“(Y/n),” he whispered. “I am so, so proud of you, my little inventor.”

You felt tears sting your eyes as you hugged him tighter. You could hear your brothers and Tubbo (whom you considered your pseudo brother at this point with how often he hangs around the house) running towards you two. It would be a minute or two until they reached you. Until then, you just wanted to stay in your dad’s loving embrace.

“OI DAD DON’T HOG THEM!”

You were ripped away from Philza’s comforting embrace and pulled into Tommy’s chest. He squeezed you in a bone crushing hug and started to spin you around.

“(Y/N) THAT WAS SO FUCKING COOL! THE WAY YOU FLEW WITHOUT BOTH WINGS HOLY SHIT THAT WAS POG!”

He let you go and you were given a congratulatory pat on the back and wide smile from Tubbo, who wasn’t quite accustomed to you yet. Techno smiled at you with pride and rustled your hair and Wilbur swung his arm around your shoulders, leading you back towards the house. “Well, I say this calls for a celebration.”

The feathers on your wing fluffed up proudly at the praise. “I’m down, but first could one of you help me take this off? It hurts after a while of wearing it.”

The rest of the night was illuminated with laughter and joy, the house booming with life. This was another moment where you felt infinite in the universe, surrounded by the people you hold dearest.

Taglist (comment if you want to be added):

@acecarddraws @goldenstarofthunderclan @ravennightingaleandavatempus @dirtydiavolo @yeiras-world @immadatmostthings @hee-hee-haw @jackalopedoodles @m1lkmandan @vanhakirja @im-a-depressed-gay @coolleviauchihadreamerlove @questioning-sanity @camisascam

@bongwaterflavoredgatorade @kakamiissad @jayistrash4 @lifestylesleep @speedymaximoff @sun-shark-tooth @appetiteofapeoplepleaser @lestrangenymph @kinismanditory @dragons-lurk-here @rinzyx05 @the-wandering-pan-ace @sparkling-gayyyy @angelic-scent @shinipii @dont-hug-me-im-a-fander @izzydimensional @used-avocado

#sbi x reader #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois inc x reader #mcyt x reader #sbi #sleepy bois inc #philza x reader #technoblade x reader #wilbur soot x reader #tommyinnit x reader #tubbo x reader #sibling reader #platonic #fluff #light angst #very very light angst #tw: swearing

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queenshelby · 3 years ago

Text

The Singer – Part Three

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 7,970

Warning: Smut, Some Swearing, Age Gap

--------

***Raising Suspicions***

Kurt was quick to tell Amanda about his suspicions. He was sure that Cillian and you were involved after he’s seen Cillian’s watch at your apartment, lying on his study desk along with an empty condom wrapper.

He wasn’t surprised, knowing very well that you preferred older partners and that he was the exception all along. But Amanda didn’t buy into his suspicions.

‘Common Kurt, you are being ridiculous. Cillian wouldn’t be interested in Y/N’ Amanda said, but Kurt simply raised an eyebrow at Amanda’s comment.

According to Amanda, you weren’t Cillian’s type. You were too young and too outspoken. In addition, she explained to Kurt that Cillian wouldn’t like your tattoos, piercings and your involvement on social media. You were completely different to Amanda, not just physically but also mentally. You were an extrovert whereas Amanda was an introvert. She was mostly quiet and reserved whereas you were loud and direct.

Despite Amanda’s comments, Kurt didn’t back down and eventually confronted Cillian when they were on their own.

‘Are you fucking my girlfriend?’ Kurt asked Cillian out of the blue.

‘Excuse me?’ Cillian responded somewhat flustered by Kurt’s question.

‘It’s a simple question Cillian. Are you fucking my girlfriend? Yes or no?’ Kurt asked again angrily, starring at Cillian’s watch again.

‘Did someone spike your coffee this morning or something?’ Cillian asked somewhat annoyed, making Kurt sound absurd.

‘Alright, don’t fucking answer my question then but, just so you know, since you are always trying so hard to stay out of the tabloids, it would look really fucking bad if you left Amanda for a woman half your age’ Kurt went on to say, catching Cillian by surprise.

‘You have issues man’ Cillian said angrily before walking away from the conversation, getting on with the things he had to do for the arts and music festival.

Despite Cillian’s immediate reaction to Kurt’s question, Kurt’s comments didn’t leave Cillian’s mind for the remainder of the day.

Of course, it would be bad if he was involved with someone half his age, especially shortly after separating from Amanda which was something that wasn’t even public knowledge yet and it was exactly this what made Cillian think about whether he should continue seeing you.

With these thoughts on his mind, he became rather distant over the next few days, not returning your calls and messages, only engaging into conversations with you when he absolutely had to.

You were frustrated by his behaviour and the least you were expecting from him was that he would talk with you about what happened between you. If he believed it was a mistake that you slept with each other, then you wanted to know.

Eventually, a week had passed and nothing had changed.

***New Woman***

After having been upset and frustrated with Cillian and Kurt, you’ve given up on men all together and, on a Thursday evening, your closest friend Emily and her fiancée Judy took you out to a LGBT friendly bar in Dublin.

It was cocktail night and Judy introduced you to a friend of hers named Kirsten. Kirsten was a local Dublin artist and photographer and you got on with her quite well immediately.

You spent the entire evening talking and dancing and you eventually had a few too many drinks and left the bar together with Kirsten.

Sharing a taxi together, you got quite comfortable on the backseats and things eventually got heated between you and Kirsten when Kirsten leaned in and kissed you passionately while running one of her hands between your thighs.

Her lips were soft and smelled like strawberries from the lip gloss she was wearing and you couldn’t resist but give into the kiss on the backseat of the taxi.

‘Did you want to come to my place?’ Kirsten asked when your lips drifted apart.

‘I probably shouldn’t…I have been making a few mistakes lately’ you whispered, knowing that Kirsten was, in fact, in a relationship with someone else.

‘It could stay our little secret you know’ Kirsten smirked but, despite the large amount of alcohol you had to drink, you shook your head.

‘Listen, you are gorgeous but I don’t do one-night stands, I am sorry. Perhaps we will meet again under different circumstances’ you said with a tender smile before allowing Kirsten to kiss you once more just before the taxi driver pulled up in front of her apartment.

After a short final kiss, Kirsten got out of the taxi and walked into her apartment while you remained sitting, asking the taxi driver to take you home.

When you got home, you quickly undressed and let yourself fall onto your soft and large vintage style bed which is where you remained fast asleep until 8 o’clock the following morning.

At 8 o’clock, your phone beeped and it was text message from your sister with a link to one of the bar’s patron’s Twitter Accounts…

******************************

“New Relationship for Y/N L/N with sexy Dublin artist Kirsten Lang??? It looks like Kurt Spencer is finally out of the picture”

*******************************

This was a nightmare, you thought. The last thing you needed was false information being out there about you while you were still dealing with your break up from Kurt and all you could think about was Cillian.

But, there was nothing you could do about it and, after digesting the news, you had a shower and got ready for another day of organising this arts and music festival.

When you arrived at the usual meeting spot, everyone had already seen the Twitter post and Kurt immediately gave you a serving about it, asking you why he wasn’t invited for a threesome with your lesbian friend.

‘Fuck off’ was all you managed to respond with. Still hungover and angry about the Twitter post, the last thing you needed was Kurt making a comment like this.

With your coffee in your hand, you eventually sat down next to Cillian who looked at you with a half grin on his face. His eyes were full of questions but he didn’t say anything at all.

‘What?’ you asked, annoyed by the way he looked at you.

‘Are you alright?’ Cillian asked concerned.

‘No, I am not fucking alright, ok? I am sick of this shit’ you said with frustration as you scrolled through the Twitter comments.

‘You need to be more careful about who you hook up with in public. Trust me, I speak from experience’ Cillian chuckled, referring to that one night a few years ago where he was caught by cameras having a night out with one of his female co-stars. The incident caused his first major fight and break up with Amanda until it became public that Cillian and his female co-star were, in fact, accompanied by his co-star’s boyfriend and several other members of the film crew.

‘Well thanks for the advice’ you said angrily, still unsure why he cared.

‘Was it worth it at least?’ Cillian asked carefully, trying to figure out whether anything happened between you and Kirsten

‘Nothing happened. We just kissed. So no, it wasn’t fucking worth it’ you said. You couldn’t help but chuckle yourself knowing how idiotic this all was.

‘You’ve got two choices here. Either, you set the record straight or you let it go Y/N’ Cillian said calmly, feeling genuinely sorry for you.

‘What would you do in my situation?’ you asked.

‘I’ve learned not to give a shit about gossip like this over the years. Personally, I would let it slide. But I can see that it bothers you, so get your manager to make a statement on your behalf or, like you young people do, make a statement yourself on this platform with the bird on it which I think is where the rumours are coming from, right?’ Cillian recommended with a warm smile.

‘What Twitter?’ you laughed.

‘Yeah. Or you can use whatever social media platform you young artists use these days’ Cillian suggested.

‘Good idea old man. I will make a tweet’ you laughed. ‘But tell me, if you don’t use Twitter, how did you know about it in the first place?’ you went on and asked.

‘Kurt has a big mouth’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Of course’ you sighed.

After the initial Twitter drama, your day working with Cillian went exceptionally well and you felt much better after setting the record straight on Twitter, having your followers and fans interact on your post and offering their support.

You finished up after about five hours, ready to head back home in order to have a lazy evening.

‘Do you want a lift back home?’ Cillian asked after you indicated that you would be leaving and were ready to catch up on some sleep. You had told Cillian earlier that your car was still with the mechanics and he could see the tiredness on your face.

‘No thanks, I will walk’ you said despite the fact that you were tired and walking was the last thing on your mind. You were trying to spend as little time as possible with Cillian.

Cillian nodded and, just like this, you were out of the door.

‘You know, if you like her, perhaps just tell her’ Janine, the administration assistant, said to Cillian after having observed his interactions with you for the past few weeks.

‘Excuse me?’ Cillian asked surprised and with a slight chuckle.

‘It’s obvious that you like her. Just as it is obvious that you touched the damn printer again last week even after I told you not to’ she then went on to say.

‘I am sorry about the printer’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Sure you are’ she laughed before walking off.

***Change of Mind***

Unfortunately for you, the following day, which was also going to be the last day of working with Cillian and some others on the festival preparations, was going to be even worse than the last.

You barely made it to the office on time again, not having had much sleep again. You were on to your third cup of coffee and had been taking pain killers all night.

‘Fuck Y/N, you look awful. Are you alright?’ Cillian said as you sat down next to him and, over at the copier station, he could see Janine shake her head in disbelieve. He just told the woman he liked that she looks awful. He was a hopeless case she thought.

‘Oh, thanks Cillian. That makes me feel better’ you chuckled as you took a sip from your large cup of coffee and popped yet another two tablets of paracetamol.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean it this way. You just look unwell’ Cillian said shyly, looking over to Janine for guidance. She nodded in approval.

‘I am fine. It’s just the time of the month’ you responded quietly and with some embarrassment.

‘What do you mean?’ Cillian asked with some confusion.

‘She means that she’s got her period Cillian’ Janine chuckled from behind before walking off.

‘Right. Of course’ Cillian said, his cheeks starting to flush. ‘Why didn’t you just stay at home if you are unwell?’ he went on to ask.

‘Because my apartment won’t have any electricity until 8pm. They are finally fixing the central heating system’ you explained.

‘Bad timing’ he responded.

‘I know. I will go to my sister’s later for dinner. Although I don’t really feel like it. She’s got two young kids who are quite a hand full and all I want to really do is chill and watch Netflix’ you whined.

‘Well, if you want to, you can come over to my place. No kids there and we could get some food, watch a movie and then I will drive you home once the electricians have left’ Cillian suggested.

‘Do you actually mean that or is this a “come up for tap water” type of situation?’ you asked causing Cillian to laugh.

‘You just said you have your period so it’s defiantly not a “come to my house for some tap water” type situation’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Believe it or not, some guys are into that. It’s just that I am not’ you giggled, causing Cillian to raise his eyebrows.

‘I can assure you that I am not one of those guys. Just a movie and some food, alright?’ Cillian laughed and you nodded, knowing that this would be a mistake but you much preferred a quiet evening with Cillian than a loud evening with your nephews while you were battling your period pains.

Just as promised, after a long day, Cillian took you home with him after you cancelled on your sister.

He dropped you at his house first, showing you how the TV works, before leaving you there on your own for half an hour so that he could organise some food for you as his fridge was usually empty now that Amanda had finally moved out.

While he was gone, you looked around the living area and you noticed that all pictures of Amanda and Cillian had gone. He clearly had moved on.

Eventually, you lied down on the lounge, watching TV and it wasn’t long until Cillian returned with two large shopping bags and it looked to you like he was going to cook for you.

‘When you said food, I expected pizza or chinese take away’ you said surprised before telling him that no man had ever cooked you dinner before and you were delighted by his efforts.

‘Nah, I enjoy cooking’ Cillian said with a warm smile as he continued to unpack the grocery bags.

Amongst ingredients for risotto, he also bought a caramel fudge ice cream, a bottle of wine, a hot water bottle and very warm ruby red socks.

‘Please explain’ you giggled as you held up the socks.

‘The last time we watched a movie together, in your bed, you had your feet wedged between my lower thighs because they were cold’ Cillian laughed before running his thumb over your cheeks and then pulling away, realising that he might have overstepped the line once again.

‘Thank you, you are very observant’ you said, feeling the want to kiss him but holding back.

‘How about you have bath while I do this’ Cillian then suggested and your eyes lid up. Your apartment didn’t have a bathtub but you also didn’t see a bathtub in the bathroom you used the last time when you came to Cillian’s house.

‘I feel bad. I should really help you’ you then said, feeling guilty that Cillian was doing all the work.

‘There is no need Y/N. Common, I will run you a bath’ Cillian said before showing you the way upstairs to his bedroom.

‘You’ve got nice taste’ you said as you looked around his bedroom and observed the quite obviously new furniture and artwork.

‘Thanks’ Cillian chuckled as he grabbed a fluffy white towel from the large cabinet inside his walk in-wardrobe.

The entire bedroom was furnished with modern wooden furniture and only a little decoration. Over the bed there was a large painting of a landscape in France and the bedside lamps were almost contemporary or vintage.

Across from the large king size bed was a spa bath and, behind a nook, there was the rest of the bathroom. The entire area could be closed by a large sliding door or could be left open if you wanted to watch TV.

You watched Cillian put some bubble bath into the tub and then turn on the water before changing the lightening and handing you the towel, a t-shirt and your brand-new fluffy socks.

‘I will be downstairs alright?’ he said with a warm smile and you nodded shyly.

You got undressed as soon as he left the room and sank into the hot water. It was delightful but you wished he would have joined you for the bath.

He was very different from Kurt, caring and romantic and you wished that he would let you in, give you chance.

After your bath, you returned downstairs wearing nothing but the t-shirt Cillian had given you, your panties and the red fluffy socks.

‘This was so nice’ you said as the pain in your stomach had decreased. ‘And this smells so good’ you added as you looked what Cillian was cooking.

‘Before I put all this chilli in there, do you like spicy food?’ Cillian asked as you stood next to him, closely watching what he was doing.

‘I love spicy food so bring it on’ you giggled, giving Cillian a big smile.

***Return of Romance***

After you both ate dinner and cleaned up the dishes, Cillian had a quick shower before sitting down next to you on the lounge in a t-shirt and trackpants.

‘Still bad?’ Cillian asked as he observed you holding your stomach.

‘Yeah, it usually lasts a day or two’ you said and, without asking, Cillian got up and boiled the kettle.

Moments later, he returned with the hot water bottle he had purchased and placed it onto your stomach before indicating to you to lie down on the lounge and pick a movie.

‘Seriously? You let me pick a movie again?’ you asked as Cillian sat down next to you.

‘I know I might regret this but yeah’ Cillian chuckled just as you put one of the small lounge pillows onto his laps and rested your head on top of it.

Cillian’s hands soon found your hair and ran his fingers through it gently while you searched through Netflix.

‘Please, no’ Cillian chuckled as you stopped at Pretty Woman and cheekily pressed play.

It was your favourite movie and Cillian already regretted giving you the remote control.

About ten minutes into the movie, you shared some ice cream and then you sat up next to him, curling up against his chest watching Julia Roberts seducing Richard Gere.

You were still in pain and Cillian noticed, his hand rubbing against your lower back gently while you held onto your hot water bottle.

‘Are you alright?’ he whispered while you took in the scent of his aftershave.

‘Hmm, yeah this is nice’ you murmured, referring to Cillian’s hand massaging your lower back gently.

‘I am glad that I am not a woman’ Cillian chuckled just before he moved some of your hair out of your face which was when you looked up at him, starring into his deep blue eyes yet again while Richard Gere was taking Julia Roberts over the piano.

‘I always wanted to do this…on a piano’ you said quietly, causing Cillian to chuckle again but then lean forward, pressing his lips onto yours gently.

You loved the feeling of his soft lips on yours and gave into the kiss which was long, gentle and passionate.

Then your lips drifted apart and you looked at each other full of questions before they met again, this time more intense than before, your tongues meeting and moving in sync.

‘I missed this’ Cillian whispered as your lips drifted apart, his hands caressing your face gently.

‘So did I’ you said quietly before wanting more, kissing Cillian again, not getting enough of his sweet lips.

You spent the remainder of the movie curled up against each other, touching each other and kissing each other until, finally, Richard Gere climbed up Julia Robert’s balcony ladder with a bunch of flowers, admitting his love to her.

‘God that is so damn romantic’ you said as your eyes began to water, Cillian looking at you somewhat confused.

‘If you say so’ he chuckled before giving you another kiss and taking the ice cream bowls to the dishwasher.

‘I should probably get home soon Cilly, I am pretty tired’ you said as you got up, following him to the kitchen but not really wanting to leave.

‘You can stay the night if you want’ Cillian said, his hands on your hips, pulling you close for another kiss.

You nodded shyly before asking him whether he would give your lower back another rub. No one had ever done this for you before and it felt amazing, taking away some of the awful pain.

‘I could give you a massage in bed’ he smirked, causing you to look at him with some confusion.

‘Are you being cheeky?’ you asked, thinking that he intends to get kinky with you which was not what you were after while on your period.

‘No, I am serious’ Cillian said before kissing you again briefly. ‘Let me show you what these hands can do’ he winked, causing you to laugh and follow him upstairs to his bedroom.

As soon as you arrived at the front of Cillian’s large bed, you were quick to take off your t-shirt and climb on the bed, wearing nothing but your cotton panties and warm socks.

Cillian momentarily disappeared, getting some sort of body lotion from beneath the sink.

‘That should work I guess’ he said before he climbed onto the bed with you, his eyes gazing over your mostly naked body for a minute before he squirted some of the cold lotion onto your back.

His hands were magic, working your upper back and then your lower back gently before he leaned down, trailing small kisses at the back of your neck.

Goosebumps were forming all over your skin and you wished that you didn’t have your period as, otherwise, you would have turned around and make him take you on his large and comfortable bed.

Eventually, after Cillian had massaged your back for almost 20 minutes, you turned around to face him, relaxed and even somewhat sleepy.

‘Fuck that felt good’ you giggled just before Cillian took off his t-shirt and tracksuit pants and lied down next to you, quickly throwing the large doona over you both in the hope that you wouldn’t notice his raging erection.

‘Feeling a little better?’ he asked and you nodded before thanking him for taking care of you.

‘You know I could help you with that?’ you smirked as you reached for his crotch, noticing how hard he was.

‘Not tonight’ Cillian said as he pushed your hand away gently, knowing that you were probably still in pain. But, none of this prevented him from pulling you closer towards him for more gentle kisses until, eventually, you curled up against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

‘Cillian?’ you murmured, looking up into his deep blue eyes once again.

‘Hmm’ he responded with a warm smile, his fingers running through your hair gently.

‘What is this between us?’ you wanted to know.

‘I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t stay away from you no matter how hard I try’ he responded, his tone soft and warm.

‘Then stop trying. I mean, why are you trying anyway?’ you chuckled as you continued to look up at him while playing with his chest hair.

‘For so many fucking reasons Y/N’ he responded.

‘Like what?’ you asked.

‘For starters, you are twenty years younger than me’ he explained and you knew that the age gap between you had been an issue for Cillian.

‘So? You know I prefer older men’ you reassured him.

‘I’ve seen the shit you went through with your ex-girlfriend. This is going to be worse and I know much bad press bothers you’ he explained, remembering reading the tabloids when your first long term relationship broke down.

‘I am willing to take my chances. What else?’ you asked.

‘We both just came out of failed relationships. I don’t think it’s smart to start dating again so soon’ Cillian said concerned.

‘Listen Cillian, I don’t expect to be your girlfriend or us going public. At the moment, you keep pushing me away every time we get closer and I wonder if we could just give this a chance. Let’s just keep it between us and see where it goes’ you suggested.

‘I would like that’ he then said before giving you another few kisses and turning off the light.

You were still curled up against Cillian and could feel the heat radiate from his body when you drifted off to sleep. Usually, you hated sleeping in other people’s beds but, that night, you felt comfortable and safe.

No one had ever treated you so well and you were happy with where you and Cillian were at and how far you had come after all the ups and downs.

You also remembered your relationship with Kurt. Being with Cillian was all so different to what you knew. It made you realise what you had missed out on.

You slept well through the night with Cillian holding you tight but, the following morning, you were woken up by an uncomfortable feeling beneath you.

You were quite vigilant when it came to your period and when you felt something sticky on your upper thigh, you got disturbed.

Woken by the unfamiliar feeling, your eyes drifted open slowly and you looked up. It was getting light outside which was when it clicked.

You remembered that you should probably have changed your tampon again before going to sleep and your heart began to pound heavily.

Feeling you wiggle around and moving the doona to the side, Cillian was slowly waking up himself, his arm falling over to the side searching for you.

But, you had scooted up and out of the bed which is when you noticed the two small blood stains on your upper thigh.

You quickly ran to the bathroom to wash them off and change what had to be changed but you knew what this meant.

You probably had gotten some stains onto Cillian’s sheet sheets as well and you weren’t ready to face this embarrassment.

‘What’s wrong Y/N?’ Cillian murmured as you returned from the bathroom.

‘I…I think…’ was all you managed to say as you pulled aside the doona and, as you had feared, noticed a small blood stain not only on the sheets but also on Cillian’s upper thigh, which was caught up in between your legs all night when you were sleeping.

You immediately began to shake nervously, feeling embarrassed by what had just happened.

‘Hey Y/N, what’s wrong?’ Cillian asked as he held out one of his hands, indicating for you to come back to bed as he was surprised by your reaction.

‘I am sorry Cillian but I think I stained your sheets and there is some on your thigh…I am so fucking sorry’ you said almost hysterical.

Cillian looked down at his thigh and the sheets for a brief moment, unsure about what the problem was until he noticed the blood stains.

‘So? I will wash the sheets and have a shower, who cares’ Cillian said with a raised eyebrow before pulling you onto him.

‘That’s so embarrassing’ you said but Cillian disagreed.

‘No, it’s natural. Don’t worry about it’ he said before kissing you passionately and you were surprised that he wasn’t bothered in the slightest. Kurt would have made a massive scene if you had ruined his fine cotton sheets like that.

As you were making out, sharing several kisses while grinding your bodies against each other to get some traction, you suddenly heard a loud female voice coming from the doorway.

‘You are fucking kidding me’ Amanda said loudly and in disbelieved as she saw you on top of Cillian half naked by that point.

‘Holy Fuck’ you shouted before quickly scooting beneath the doona.

‘What the hell are you doing here?’ Cillian asked somewhat angrily about the fact that she had just entered his house unannounced before getting up and pulling a t-shirt over his head.

‘Getting the last of my stuff. I told you I would come by over the weekend to grab it’ Amanda explained angrily.

‘Yes, and I would have expected you to use the fucking doorbell when you do’ Cillian said firmly before walking downstairs with her.

‘I cannot believe that Kurt was actually right’ Amanda said almost hysterical and you could hear her and Cillian argue from the bedroom.

‘Right about what?’ Cillian asked.

‘That you are fucking her. God that’s so disgusting, you know that? She is almost half your age…trading me in for a younger model, that’s something I never expected’ Amanda said with anger.

‘I didn’t trade you in for anyone Amanda. We broke up because you couldn’t get over your fucking jealousy’ Cillian explained.

‘Well, it was warranted it seems’ Amanda said.

‘I never fucking cheated on you’ Cillian yelled and it was at this point that Amanda began to shout, calling you and Cillian names.

Eventually, Cillian kicked Amanda out of his house and immediately called a locksmith before driving you home.

***First Date***

You didn’t expect to hear from Cillian for the remainder of the day, especially in light of what happened with Amanda and the fact that he told you last night that he wasn’t sure where this was going between you. But, to your surprise, at around 2 o’clock you received a call from him.

During the call, Cillian asked whether you felt like going for dinner with him at restaurant near your house.

Was this a date, you wondered? It sure sounded like a date. If it was a date, did it mean that he no longer cared about the implications he was concerned about previously after your talk last night?

You sure wanted to find out and accepted Cillian’s offer to take you for dinner and he picked you up at 6 o’clock, nice and early so that you had enough time to watch a movie at your place afterwards.

The restaurant was rather busy and Cillian had booked a nice booth in the corner, giving you some privacy.

He ordered a bottle of wine while you looked through the menu for some tapas to share. You enjoyed the same type of food and it was easy for you to agree on the dishes.

‘So, is this a date?’ you asked Cillian after the waitress had taken your order.

‘I suppose’ he chuckled before he took your hands into his, sharing a tender moment with you.

‘Good, because I was worried that our run in with Amanda this morning put you off a little. I’ve heard what she said to you’ you said quietly, knowing about Cillian’s reluctance when it came to dating you, a woman twenty years his junior.

‘If anything, it made me care even less about the reservations I have about us’ Cillian explained.

‘Well, hopefully, those reservations will disappear completely when you realise how awesome I am’ you joked just before the waitress brought out the first dish.

You enjoyed your dinner and wine despite the fact that a group of girls on a table nearby were watching you. You tried hard not to care, but the giggling and whispering bothered you more than it would usually have when you were out with someone else.

Eventually, one of the women from the table came over just as you and Cillian were about to leave, asking Cillian for photo which he declined politely.

The restaurant was only a short stroll from your apartment and you were ready to get your comfortable clothes on and watch a movie with Cillian.

Shortly after you arrived at your apartment, you got changed into a nightie, poured two glasses of wine and asked Cillian whether he could get the lighter from the top draw of your bedside table so that you could light some candles.

As you put the two glasses of wine onto your coffee table, you heard a loud buzzing coming from besides your bed and you recognised the sound immediately.

‘Cillian!’ you shouted as you watched Cillian play with one of your vibrators, a big grin running over his face.

‘Give it here. I said top draw, not bottom draw’ you chuckled as you took the vibrator out of his hand.

‘How does it work? It clearly won’t fit inside you’ he asked curiously, his grin getting bigger.

‘It’s called a wand and it is for clitoral stimulation only. I actually never used it because it’s too intense. My sister talked me into it, saying it’s the best thing ever. But I don’t know’ you explained, your face flushing with embarrassment.

‘Sounds interesting’ Cillian chuckled, which is when you noticed that Cillian had already lid the candles on your beside table.

‘Not really’ you said before you shuffed the vibrator back into the draw and, just as you came up, Cillian crashed his lips onto yours.

‘There are other things I’ve found in your draw’ Cillian said after your lips drifted apart and before he reached for the handcuffs and satin blindfold in your bedside table and threw them onto your bed.

‘Cillian, remember, I’ve got my period’ you giggled just as Cillian pulled your nightie over your head, leaving you in nothing but your panties.

‘I am aware. Just let me make you feel good’ he said, grinning again before pushing you onto the bed and hoovering over you.

‘Cillian, I am serious’ you giggled, his teeth grazing your neck gently.

‘Don’t worry, your panties are staying on and I promise that I won’t touch you down there’ he said reassuringly and, whilst you had no idea how he would get you off without touching your most intimate body part, you agreed and reluctantly lifted your hands over your head and allowed Cillian to tie your wrists against the bedhead with your leather cuffs.

Cillian then gently placed the blindfolds over your eyes, carefully tying the knot behind your head without catching your hair in between it.

You trusted him. Yet it was difficult for you to relax especially since, all of a sudden, you heard a familiar loud bussing sound again.

‘No no no, this vibrator is too intense. I never….oh my fucking god’ you moaned as you threw your head back into the pillow and arched your back as soon as the vibrator hit your clit through your thin cotton panties.

‘Fuck that’s sexy’ Cillian observed as he watched you squirm against your restraints and moan as he moved the vibrator over your clit in circle motions.

‘Don’t move’ he then chuckled as he placed the vibrator onto your clit and resting the handle on your stomach. You felt the weight on your bed lightening and heard him get up, walking away from you momentarily.

‘Fuck Cillian…don’t leave me like this’ you protested just before you heard the door of the fridge opening. What was he doing? Getting himself a beer?

Then, finally, you could feel his weight on the mattress again, right next to you.

His hands began to roam over your breasts and stomach while he pushed the wand back against your clit more firmly after tuning it up a notch.

‘No no no….oh god’ you moaned, your legs squirming.

‘If you do not stay still on your own, I will tie your legs up too’ Cillian said cheekily before pulling on each of your nipple piercings slightly. He knew that you loved it when he did this, subjecting you to this little bit of pain.

You inhaled sharply, wanting him to pull them again, but Cillian had other ideas and it wasn’t long until you felt something extremely cold on your left nipple.

‘Fuck, Cillian’ you moaned as ice cold water began to run down your left breast while he turned up the setting of the vibrator again.

The ice cold feeling soon moved to your right nipple, running down from it over your stomach like a cold stream of water. By this time it was obvious to you that it was an ice cube which Cillian had placed into his mouth and which he was running over your breasts.

You could feel it melt slowly and the cold water ran all the way to your belly button followed by his hot breath.

Then, you could feel the entire ice cube slid down your stomach and all the way to the hem of your panties while, again, Cillian turned up the vibrator, reaching its highest setting.

‘Holy Christ’ you inhaled, trying as hard as you could to stay still.

You were close to climaxing and Cillian had to hold you down, securing your thighs so that you were unable to squirm away.

‘Oh fuck yes’ you screamed as, finally, your orgasm washed over you and you had no choice but to give into the sensation.

It was at this point that you heard a knock on the wall from the apartment beside yours, causing Cillian to chuckle as you had told him about the letter you received from your neighbour last week complaining about the noise level from your apartment when Cillian visited you the last time.

You eventually came down from your high and Cillian released his tight grip on you and turned off the vibrator before taking off your blindfolds and untying you from the bed.

‘Feeling better?’ he asked and, surprisingly, you did.

With a quick nod and thanks, you pulled Cillian on top of you for a passionate kiss before pushing him down onto the mattress beneath you.

Without words, you looked at him and suggestively bit your lips before reaching for his black Calvin Klein briefs and pulling them down.

‘You know I just love your cock…it’s fucking perfect’ you smirked as you starred at his erection before separating his legs, bending his knees up and taking your place between them.

Cillian scooted himself up in the bed so that he could watch you and you leaned forward to kiss him, loving and deep, before making your decent on his perfectly toned body.

When you finally reached his hard shaft, you kissed the tip of his cock suggestively before collecting his precum with your tongue.

Cillian’s hands knew what to do to help you now and he gathered up your hair and hold it out of the way as you lowered your head and take his cock into your mouth, moaning as your mouth is filled.

Cillian groaned as you finally took all of his length into your mouth and down your throat. You wanted to devour him and you took your time about it, pleasure slowly building, pressure teased and growing as you kept bobbing your head up and down.

Looking up at him while you wrapped your lips around his hard member turned him on incredibly and it didn’t take long for his breathing to become laboured.

By this point, his legs straighten, splayed out on either side of you while the frequency of his moans and groans increased.

You knew Cillian was getting close and you loved watching him moan with a slightly open mouth while you slowly and deliberately wrap your lips tightly on the head of his cock and take him deep into your throat again, all the way to the base.

Your eyes close on their own with the sensation and greed you feel and each time you rise you look into Cillian’s deep blue eyes, stopping to let him watch as you flick your tongue all over his frenulum and swollen pink tip.

His face suddenly changed and his mouth contorts. Cillian’s hands tighten, no longer simply holding your long hair out of the way but gripping your head with handfuls of your hair in both hands right at the scalp. He took control, pushing your head down hard, his cock filling your throat before letting go of you again.

‘Again’ you moaned, loving the way he takes charge and he complied with your request, grabbing your hair again and making you take his length all the way into your throat.

‘Fuck Y/N, I am close’ he moaned and, with him thrusting into your mouth and you bobbing your head at the same time, it wasn’t long until you felt it, the unmistakable spurt of cum into your mouth as his body is finally released.

You could taste him, feeling the slick cream on your tongue, holding it in your mouth as you milk the last drops. Then looking up, you see Cillian’s beautiful sexy smile and flushed cheeks, open your mouth and show him the cum pooled on your tongue.

Another groan escaped him as he watched you hold it, tilting your head back slightly while some drips escaped you and ran over your chin.

Looking at his face, completely turned on by what you were doing, you smiled wickedly and very deliberately closed your lips, looked at him, and swallowed.

‘God, why are you so fucking sexy?’ Cillian asked just as you moved up towards him and pressed your lips onto his.

‘I don’t know, I just am’ you winked before sharing another passionate kiss while his hands were roaming over your back.

After some pillow talk, you eventually curled up against Cillian, running your fingers through his chest hair while his right hand gently touched your cheek.

It didn’t take either of you long to fall asleep and you were still curled up against each other the next morning when you heard a loud knock on the door.

***Meeting June***

‘Will we ever be able to just wake up next to each other without being interrupted?’ Cillian growled as he turned over, ignoring the knock on the door completely. He was clearly not a morning person.

You jumped up quickly and threw on Cillian’s t-shirt which, the night before, had found it’s way to the floor besides your bed.

Wearing nothing but the t-shirt, some purple cotton panties and giant plush socks with small bunny rabbits on it, you walked to the door and opened it, thinking that, surely, it was just a delivery. Your local postman had a habit of arriving early and you were considering getting a postal box soon.

‘Good Morning Sis’ June said and it took you a few seconds to rub your eyes yawn before realising that you probably shouldn’t let her inside with Cillian lying in your bed completely naked.

But your sister didn’t ask for permission and barged inside, putting a bag of croissants and two coffees on to the kitchen counter.

‘What are you doing here?’ you asked surprised as she hung up her coat.

‘I know how shit you feel when you get your period and you didn’t come by the other night so I wanted to check on you, that’s all’ June explained just as she was walking through your loft, not having noticed Cillian yet as part of the view of the bed was covered by a large industrial style bookshelf.

‘Now is not a very good time’ you said nervously which was when she noticed clothes scattered across the floor.

‘Oh shit’ she giggled just before she bluntly looked past the large bookshelf.

‘Morning June’ Cillian chuckled just as he reached down to the floor to retrieve his briefs before pulling them beneath the doona and trying to discretely put them back on.

‘Holy fuck’ June shouted, her jaw dropping to the floor.

‘Jupp, swearing runs in the family’ Cillian chuckled before getting up from beneath the doona, wearing nothing but his black Calvin Klein briefs.

With a grin on his face, he walked over towards you and gave you a quick kiss before taking your coffee from your hand, taking a sip and telling you that he will go and have a quick shower.

He quickly retrieved his jeans from the floor and disappeared into the bathroom all while your sister’s eyes followed his every move.

‘Stop looking at him’ you demanded, giving your sister a nudge as it was obvious to you that she was checking out Cillian’s ass.

‘How the fuck did this happen? Did I just dream this?’ she asked as you were shyly drinking your coffee with some embarrassment, unsure how to answer her question.

‘Oh my god, he is the guy you were telling me about. This all makes sense now’ June said and you confirmed her suspicions and told her that you’ve resolved your differences.

You trusted your sister and told her about what you had discussed with Cillian the night before and that you were at his house, which is why you cancelled on her.

Eventually, Cillian came out of the bathroom, wearing his tight black jeans but not much else.

Your sister looked at him with some excitement, not even ashamed for drooling over the man you were involved with.

You noticed immediately, giving her another nudge just as Cillian stole the rest of your coffee.

‘Can you put your shirt on please’ you eventually said before handing Cillian one of the croissants and the jam from your fridge.

‘Well, I would, but you are wearing it’ Cillian reminded you, unbothered by the fact that your sister was in the same room.

You quickly disappeared behind the bookshelf and changed into your own clothes before handing Cillian his t-shirt and your sister sighed with some disappointment as he put it on.

Despite the fact that he had met your sister already, he felt somewhat awkward with your sister around and, after putting on his t-shirt, he left your apartment in order to get some more coffees, allowing you to update your sister on the situation.

While he was out, waiting for his coffee order at the nearby coffee shop, he received a call from his agent drawing his attention to a quite unfavourable article which had just appeared online, less than 30 minutes ago.

**************

OK! Magazine News

Cillian Murphy following the Hollywood Trend?

Rumours have emerged suggesting a developing relationship between actor Cillian Murphy (43) and singer/songwriter Y/N L/N (23). This comes after Murphy has only last month been spotted at a Dublin fundraising event with long term girlfriend Amanda Winter and L/N was rumoured to be involved with local artist Kirsten Mann after having been spotted leaving Soho Bar together as little as three nights ago.

Music producer Kurt Meskin confirmed the break up from singer and songwriter girlfriend Y/N L/N earlier yesterday and revealed that the break up was due to a romance unfolding between Y/N L/N and actor Cillian Murphy. It is unclear how Kirsten Mann is involved and Meskin wasn’t able to comment on Mann’s relationship with L/N’s.

Murphy and L/N have been working together with others, including Meskin, on the United Arts and Music Festival since earlier this year. The festival is set to take place later this year and will feature L/N as well as Murphy’s long term girlfriend Amanda Winter.

Meskin said that he was saddened by L/N’s actions but has accepted her decision.

‘There is not much I can do. Unfortunately, these things happen but it’s simply sad to know that not only one, but two relationships have been destroyed by her actions’ Meskin said when referring to what sounds like an affair between L/N and Murphy.

It is not clear whether Murphy and Winter have since separated but it appears to be likely as L/N and Murphy were spotted in front of Le Maison Restaurant in Dublin late yesterday evening.

The picture appeared on Twitter shortly after the date night between Murphy and L/N and has since received a large number of comments as fans question what happened with Amanda Winter and criticise the twenty year ago gap between Murphy and L/N.

“Perhaps he’s following into the footsteps of other Hollywood actors like DiCaprio who like their girlfriends much younger” one person commented on Twitter.

Neither L/N or Murphy have commented on the rumours but, with L/N’s social media presence, it is probably just a matter of time until a statement is received.

Tag List (Cillian):

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall @elenavampire21 @hanster1998 @mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang @0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney @missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey janelongxox @uchihacumdump

Cannot Tag (please check your settings):

@l0tsofpennies @margoo0 @trolleydolly @avonlady1985 @chrisevanshoeee @daydreamingnymph @fookingshelby @chocolatehalo

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x y/n

254 notes · View notes

lemonjoonah · 5 years ago

Text

Level of Restraint (M)

Pairings: Jimin x Reader, Namjoon x Reader, Taehyung x Reader Word Count: 13K Rating: M Genre: Thriller, smut, office AU, BDSM AU Warnings(contains spoilers): This story contains very dark themes and may not be suited to all readers, protected sex (vag+anal), threesome, double penetration, bondage (including partial suspension), dom/sub roles (reader is a sub), praise kink, mild degration, sensory deprivation, spanking, fingering, cum feeding, mild breathplay, sex toys, exhibitionism, voyeurism, discussion of safe word, Namjoon is a professional dom/sex worker, referenced discrimination of sex workers and those who participate in BDSM, public outing of sexual practices, inappropriate workplace relationships, referenced death of minor character, yandere character, misidentified sexual partner, manipulation, bribery, blackmail, implied stalking, violence.

Summary: As a co-founder of a consulting firm you can’t afford to be caught in a scandal. So flirting with your secretary, Jimin, would be out of the question. Giving your client’s son, Taehyung, a reference for a sexual partner would be reprehensible. And having regular paid BDSM sessions with your dominant, Namjoon? That would be a career ending disgrace. It’s too bad the only restraints in life you approve of are the cuffs that bind you to the bed, because there are those hiding in the dark waiting to take advantage.

A/N: A huge thank you to everyone who supported me while writing this story. It was hard not to question the level of darkness this tale descends to. In the end your assurances and aid are the only reason this fic made it to fruition. Upon reading you might notice several thematic references to the ‘Fall of the House of Usher,’ by Edgar Allan Poe and the Greek myth of Tantalus. They are two of my favourite tales, and together they greatly represent the darkened desires depicted in this oneshot.

...

8:55 am KNJ: Good girl.

Your heart races upon receiving the response you’ve been waiting for all morning. The sender had requested proof that you were wearing his last minute gift, and you were happy to oblige with the lewd photo. Finally seeing his simple praise for your efforts makes you grin from ear to ear, as you enter the front door to your workplace’s building. The message will be enough to get you through the day, high on the thought of his praise while his present is wrapped tightly around your ribs. Though the garment may be confining, you’ll endure anything to receive those two simple words.

Reluctantly glancing up from your phone you look ahead to see the elevator closing.

“Hold the door!” You call out, making a run for it. Mercifully the gap between the doors widens allowing you to climb in before it begins the long haul up. Glancing over to your savoir, you find your secretary standing at the panel. “Thanks Jimin.”

“No problem,” he responds with a warm smile. “What floor do you need?” Joking as he pushes the button labelled 14.

You playfully shove his arm while trying to catch your breath. Had he left you down on the first floor there's no telling how long it would be before the elevator returned. The building in which you work has been down to one lift for a couple days, with no promise of when the other will be fixed. It’s not a surprise really, ever since you moved into this complex three years ago you’ve been plagued with breakdowns and shotty utilities. Considering how opulent the tower is, with it’s gilded elevators and halls adorned in finery you expected better, but people often overlook flaws when they have something pleasant to stare at. Allowing the management to slack on some of the failings of the structure.

“Do you think you could send maintenance another message?” You ask your hand clutching your waist to comfort the stitch in your side, no doubt a result of the corset concealed beneath your clothes.

“Consider it done.” Jimin replies, pulling out his phone. “Are you okay Miss?” He asks, your heavy breathing failing to go unnoticed judging from the concern in his voice.

“Fine.” You quickly change the subject, not wanting to linger on your current state. “What’s on my schedule for today?”

“You have a consultation with Mr. Kim of HOC Industries in an hour-”

“Really?” You cut in, confused about the sudden change. “But I just saw him a few weeks ago. Why is he coming in?”

“He didn’t say, I just got a message last night from him stating he required an appointment immediately.”

“That’s not a good sign...” You groan, wondering what information had dropped to spur a need for such an urgent response.

“Afterwards you have an early lunch with journalist Min. Followed by a one o’clock appointment with Jeon Jungkook to go over the new web layout. And the rest of office hours are slated as admin.”

You cringe over the prospect of bookkeeping. Your accountant’s involvement in a recent accident, placed him on an extended leave of absence. Since you are the only other member of your small staff qualified to balance the books, this leaves you burdened with his duties. “Remind me later to make a posting for a temp position.”

“Noted,” Jimin remarks as he continues to scroll through his phone. “Oh and don’t forget, you also have your monthly massage appointment with Kim Namjoon tonight.”

You smile at the thought, you would never forget a booking with him, especially since he’s the reason for your current state of breathlessness. You’ve been counting down the days until you get to see him, with only a few hours left you can barely contain yourself. To everyone who asks he’s a masseur, but the services he provides are far more aggressively intimate than a standard massage. You force a small cough to cover the involuntary moan starting to escape.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, just tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.” It’s not a complete lie, with the stress from work there have been a lot of restless nights recently, your appointment tonight should help to relieve a bit of that tension. There’s a loud groan as the elevator comes to a stop at your floor. You look up to the top of the lift and over to Jimin with worry, both of you stepping off with haste once the doors open.

Your entire office space consists of only a few rooms. You and Hoseok had started this company only a few years ago, focusing on corporate consultations regarding public image and approval. All things considered you’re doing rather well. With your negotiation tactics, Hoseok's philanthropy efforts, and Yoongi on retainer as your media source, you’ve been able to take on several giant corporations.

As you walk down the hall you find the temperature starting to rise, and upon stepping into your’s and Jimin’s shared office, you’re hit with a wave of heat. You whisper your curses as you check the thermostat which has been jacked to its highest setting and refuses to shift back down.

Giving up on the system you turn to the windows, but even those are a struggle after being neglected for so long. You call out to Jimin for assistance, waiting no more than a second before he is by your side. But even with his help you only manage to open them to the grand extent of a sliver before you’re forced to give in. At least with your office door open there’s now a small draft pervading the space.

“I guess I’ll send maintenance another message,” Jimin chuckles.

“You don’t think he’s trying to push us out do you?” You inquire about the building owner, and one of your own clients. You don’t usually make such bold claims, but with Jimin’s ties to the dubious man, it’s hard not to ask.

“I wouldn’t put it past him. Though I think this is more likely due to his lack of regard for the workmanship going into his properties.”

You nod overlooking the now stuffy room which holds both your desks. It serves its purpose with a sufficient amount of daylight from the large windows, and a partial wall giving you each a bit of privacy. You’d rather not have to leave this building and the status that comes with it, but there seems to be no end with these faulty appliances. “So much for being the height of sophistication.”

While you settle into your workspace you’re already dying from the heat, a sweater and camisole overtop your corset was not the best choice for today, but you didn’t want to risk anyone noticing the garment beneath. As you shuffling through your newsite tabs Jimin readies the coffee maker, returning to you with the first dose of your daily caffeine needs.

“You’re a saint.”

Jimin smiles brightly at your compliment, living for the praise as always. “Do you want some ice on the side?” He laughs as you tug on your sweater to stop it from sticking to your skin.

“Only if I can rub it all over.” You sigh jokingly as you take a sip of the hot beverage.

“I’d be happy to assist.” His smirk and piercing gaze look to be downright serious, his flirtation hitting a new high today.

“Sorry Jimin, I already have a massage appointment later. I think Namjoon would be very upset if you took his job from him.”

“That’s too bad.” He mutters, his lip still curled into a smile before stepping away from your desk. “Let me know if you change your mind. I’d be more than willing to compensate him for his loss.” Jimin has never been shy about his attraction to you, a desire which you most certainly reciprocate, but your own company policies keep the both of you tied to flirtatious word play. With Jimin winning more often than not when it comes to provocative sentiments.

He hangs around on your side of the room, straightening the chairs and stray flies, while you continue your search for whatever prompted the need for your haste meeting. At last you find it, on the featured articles of a prominent celeb news site, with the headline reading, ‘The Dark Desires of the Kim Family Heir.’

Much to your chagrin the issue isn’t regarding your client, but his son. As much as you try to stay out of personal family matters, sometimes they are unavoidable, and this looks to be one of those cases.

‘Kim Taehyung has long been considered one of the most eligible bachelors. He has it all, money, power, and a spot on every top ten most attractive list, but those who have been with him more intimately say he craves something more...’

Your mouth falls open in horror as one of Taehyung's former partners exposes their most intimate moments with him. ‘The Gucci suits and custom cologne are just an expensive mask for the darkness beneath. He would ask to be tied, bound to the bed and struck. He wanted pain and pleasure...’ The further you read the more your chest tightens. You’d rather not jump to conclusions, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true. A fact which must make it all the more painful for Taehyung. You can only imagine what he must be going through, to have such private details exposed and exploited. He’s currently living your worst nightmare, a societal judgement over one's deepest desires. For professional reasons it would probably be best to stay out of this private matter, but you can’t in good consciousness let him suffer alone.

“That bad?” Jimin asks.

“Yeah...” You cover your mouth to hide your shuddering breath, blinking away the tears that threaten to spill on Taehyung's behalf.

Jimin shuffles in behind your desk with you. By lowering himself to read off your screen, his face falls next to yours. His hands come to rest on your shoulders as he leans in to eye the article in question. You should shoo him away, but you can’t help but be curious of his response to those who engage in such practices. As his eyes scan the page his grip on you tightens, his breathing erratic just like yours, with a whispered “‘Fuck,” escaping his lips.

“Are we interrupting something?” A voice calls out from your open door.

Your head snaps over in shock to find your next appointment waiting for you, with his son in tow. You jump up pushing Jimin back so you can greet your guests properly. “Mr. Kim! No not at all, please come in. This must be-”

“Taehyung...” The younger man mutters as he walks in, slumping down in one of the chairs in front of your desk. His sunglasses are still in place, the smell of spirits wafts over you along with the spicy scent of what must be his referenced cologne. He’s a sight to behold, a person of his caliber could make a fortune off his looks alone; he wouldn’t even need a drop of his father's fortune. But of course, that would have been before this public outing of his bedroom tendencies. Now he’s more likely to be seen as a pariah rather than an asset.

Directing the elder to the seat next to him, you take your own once again as Jimin retreats to his desk. You don’t even have the chance to exchange pleasantries before Mr. Kim launches into the purpose of their visit. “I assume you saw the article about my son?”

“I did, but-”

“And? What can we do about it? How can we spin it? Our stocks have already taken a hit.”

“Your son just had a serious breach in personal privacy...” You pause hoping that he’ll have some semblance of a realization that he is not the victim here, instead he simply waits for you to continue. Attempt to hold in your dismay, you give him the only answer you can, “Sue for defamation if you’d like, but whether they are printing fact or fiction the damage is done. The press is still focusing on your family due to your early misdealings in your company. I would argue that if you turn the view of operations around then there is a very good chance that the media will start to back off personal affairs.”

“You can’t expect me to twiddle my thumbs and wait. My shareholders are currently questioning his ability to lead, they might seek to replace him.”

“Good.” Taehyung mutters. “If those prudes have a problem with me, I’d rather not have to work with them.”

You bite your lip to conceal a snort of laughter. Mr. Kim fails to notice but his son seems to have caught your slip, taking off his glasses, he pierces you with a strong gaze.

Kim senior starts up again looking for sympathy and a way out, “Do you know how many of his flings I’ve had to pay off in the past-”

“Maybe you should just stick to your own business.” Taehyung eyes his father darkly.

“They made it my business when they started squealing to the press about what kind of man you are.”

You try to rein the situation in, this battle between father and son having no place in your office. “Mr. Kim! I would actually like to speak to your son for a moment. We can see if there’s a possible remedy for this... exposure.” You stand up, calling over the wall for your secretary "Jimin? Would you mind taking Mr. Kim to see Hoseok?” You turn back to your elder client, practically pushing him out the door into your secretaries’s care. “Jung Hoseok has been continuing his work on your company's philanthropic efforts. I’m sure he would love to show you what he has done with your portfolio.”

“Do you need me to come right back Miss?” Jimin asks with a pleading stare, his eyes flicker over to the young man still slumped in his seat.

“No I think we’ll be okay for a bit.” You mutter to him quietly as Mr. Kim proceeds down the hall. “Just keep him away for a few minutes.”

Once they're both gone you sit back down across from Taehyung with a sigh.

“So are your going to talk some sense into me?” He drawls with disdain.

“Fuck no,” you scoff, rummaging through your drawer. “Can I get you anything coffee, water... advil?” You finally pull out the bottle of pain relievers and offer one to him as you take one yourself, your head ready to explode in frustration over his father.

He tilts his head looking somewhat surprised, “So why did you send him away then?”

“I thought you could use a break. I’ve worked with many people like your father, they all want things done their way, and you’ll never be able to tell them otherwise. He’ll never admit to his faults, and the fact that he’s the real reason the media is all over you. So as long as you don’t tattle on me, we both can make it through this meeting with him thinking that he’s won.”

“Deal,” Taehyung agrees while he chuckles at your ploy.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything?” You offer once again.

“Actually I’ll take some advil.”

“I thought you might.” You poor him glass from the cooler and offer up the pill. When his sleeve pulls back to reach for the cup you can’t help but notice the glaring red evidence of a rope abrasion on his wrist. While he throws back the pain killer, you take another sip of your coffee rolling the bitterness over your tongue before breaching the difficult subject. “It can’t be easy to have the press prying into every aspect of your private life.”

“It’s not so much that they pry, but...” Taehyung hesitates, his brow furrows as his fingers run through his hair tugging on the strands between his fingers. “People know that they can go to them with a story and make money off any relations I have with them. And the press will gladly pay top dollar for what they have to offer.”

“The story is not a complete fabrication then?” You already know it’s not judging from his father's response and the marks on his arm, you just need to hear him say it.

“No, it’s mostly true.” He admits, watching your reaction.

“Then it would seem that your desires might be thought unconventional by many of your past partners?”

Taehyung nods, taking another sip of his water.

“From one unconventional individual to another,” you pause waiting for your own admission to sink in. To your delight Taehyung immediately perks up listening attentively as you continue. “There are more discreet ways to fill those needs.”

“Are you offering?” He asks, raising a brown along with the corner of his lips.

“No, I doubt that I would be very good at meeting your cravings, since we both hunger the same type of... attention.” You smile back at him, rejoicing in your mutual secret. “But I do have a friend who will take very good care of you. I’m going to give you a name and phone number, it’s up to you if you want to contact them, but I can assure you any conversations or actions between you and them will be kept strictly confidential. It’s not cheap,” you explain, but doubt that’ll be a problem for him. “But I assure you it’s safe and private.”

Taehyung can barely get the information from you fast enough once you jot it down. His hands, reaching for the sheet, accidentally knock over your coffee instead, sending the drink in your direction and staining your sweater. “I’m so sorry, here let me help you.” Taehyung jumps up and runs and grabs napkins from the coffee station.

“It’s fine really.” You assure him, making an attempt to stop him as he starts to blot the saturated material.

Unfortunately it’s at this moment that Jimin walks in to see your precarious state. He stands there for a moment in silence before explaining the reason for his return. “Mr. Kim said he needs to leave soon, Miss. He wanted to see if you two were... finished.” There’s glare set in his eyes for Taehyung's forwardness.

“Yeah, be right there, just one second.” You turn back to Taehyung, exchanging the damp napkin in his hand for the paper you had just written on. “Think about it, I hope you’ll give him a call. I don’t give out his information unless I think it will be of help to someone.”

“Kim Namjoon,” Taehyung mutters quietly while reading the slip. “If I were to go see him, would I find you there too?” He looks back up at you, biting his lip after posing his query.

“Likely not, he keeps his sessions very private, but you can always discuss your...” You glance over to Jimin who is still waiting, and well within earshot. “Preferences with him.”

“Then I’ll consider it, thank you.”

After seeing Mr. Kim and his son off, you're left to deal with the stain on your sweater, with only fifteen minutes before you have to leave for your lunch appointment. “Jimin could you call Yoongi and let him know I’m running a little late? I need to stop by my apartment on the way.”

“No need, I’ve got an extra shirt here.” He pulls out one of his own from his desk. “ I know it’s a men’s fit, but I think we can make it work.”

“Why do you keep that here?” You laugh. He only looks at you and the stain with a raised brow, no words needed to prove his point. “Never mind, stupid question, but I can’t take your shirt Jimin.”

“I insist, go put it on.” He forces it into your hands as you double check your watch, your time constraints leaving you with little choice.

Stepping behind the dividing wall, you strip down to your camisole, breathing a sigh of relief that the beverage hadn’t seeped into the fabric of the corset. Quickly throwing his button up over top and tucking it in, you check to ensure your intimate garment is still hidden relatively beneath the shirt before coming back out for his opinion “Does it look okay?”

Jimin nods, but when he reaches out to touch the shirt you recoil, fearing that he will discover what you wear beneath. He chuckles and persists, “I’m just fixing your collar.” He moves in closer standing just a couple inches away. Pinching the two seams of the fabric together, he considers the change. “I think it would look better like this.” You nod, keeping silent as he follows through. Pulling the fabric tight around your throat, your breathing is forced to pause for a moment as he fastens the top button. “Better?” He asks, while his hands linger around your neck.

“Much.” You whisper, as his fingers drift up to hold your chin, with the tip of his thumb dragging along the edge of your bottom lip. You stand there confused as to why your flirtatious game has taken such a physical turn. Although his actions are prohibited and should be censured, you can’t fully condemn them, deciding instead to remove yourself, rather than reprimand him. “I-I should go. I don’t want to be late meeting Yoongi.”

...

It was a productive lunch to say the least, but that was by no means thanks to you. Your focus was distinctly elsewhere. While you toyed with your bottom lip, thinking of how Jimin had touched it just moments before, Yoongi gave you everything you needed to secure several new clients. Even now as you return, disembarking the elevator on to your floor, you still can’t concentrate on the day ahead.

On the walk back to your office Hoseok catches you, quickly pulling you into his own and closing the door behind. “You need to do something about Jimin.”

“Wh-what do you mean?” You ask, nervous that he had seen you two together before you left for your meeting.

“Your client earlier, Mr. Kim, he said that he caught you two acting rather close, making suggestions that you two are involved in a sexual relationship. Usually I would disregard a comment like his but-”

“It’s not true, you know I wouldn’t!” As much as you might want to act on Jimin’s advances you’ve never crossed that line. You know it must have been bad for Hoseok to bring it up, for him to take this serious tone is evidence of his deep concern.

“I know that, but this isn’t the first time someone has thought you two might be a little too intimate. Some of the staff have also considered the notion. And I can see why, the way he looks at you, talks to you...” Hoseok trails off as his eyes linger on your apparel in confusion. “You weren’t wearing that earlier were you?”

“No, I had some coffee spill on me earlier. Jimin was nice enough to loan me his.”

Hoseok tilts his head as he raises his brow as if this validates his concerns.

“He was just being helpful!” You offer, but Hoseok doesn’t look to be swayed, and he’s right, this is a workplace not a morning after situation. “Fine, I see your point. So what do you suggest?”

“Redistribute him, send him my way if you have to, god knows that I could use the extra hand. You could even play it off as a promotion, just get him out of your office.” Your heart drops at the thought, not wanting to give him up. Hoseok seeing this takes a softer tone. “Listen I can see that you like him too. I’m sure it feels good to have his attention, but you need to get this out of your system. You have to put a stop to it. We can’t afford a scandal and you know it.”

With the assurance that you’ll think on the issue, and giving Hoseok your solution by tomorrow, you return to your office. But the problem is far from easy, though you did not lie about your physical relationship to Hoseok, you have been keeping something from him. From all of them. Jimin will never accept a promotion if it takes him away from you. He’s never worked here for the money, he doesn’t need to when his father owns half of the city, this building included.

...

-3 years ago-

“Mr. Lee, thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me.” You pull out the chair to sit across from him. The massive mahogany desk of his placing a rather large distance between the two of you.

“Yes well, my building manager said you were very persistent.” There’s a small roll in his eyes as he looks from you down to the computer in front of him.

“I wanted to discuss one of your properties, an office space in the Madeline Suites.”

He takes a swift glance at your modest appearance with narrowing eyes. “Forgive me, but I believe that location might be out of your price range.”

“Monetarily yes,” You agree. “But we offer services which might be helpful to you.”

“I do not deal in favours. I can see that this meeting was a waste of time, you may go.” He waves the back of his hand to shoo you out, while his secretary grabs the door from the outside.

“I am not asking for a favour, but offering you my services. I’m the co-founder of a corporate image consulting firm. And come this time tomorrow, I believe you’ll be looking for someone within our realm of dealings.”

“And what makes you say that?” Lee asks, his words laced with cynicism.

You lay out the first page of the article which Yoongi had sent you, stretching it across the wooden surface to place it in Mr. Lee’s view. ‘Real Estate Developer Lee Gungsang Faced Prior Allegations of Unlawful Evictions and Price Hiking.’ “This is slated for tomorrow morning’s front page.”

Mr. Lee is quick to send his secretary off, the door shutting once again. “How do you know about this? These cases were settled before they made it anywhere near the courts.”

“I have my sources.”

“Then stop this! I will pay whomever needs to be paid to prevent this from leaching out. You want the office space, it's yours.” He’s voice is desperate, you have him on the hook, the question now is, how long will he let you drag him for?

“That’s very generous of you, but nothing will stop this from going out tomorrow. My offer is simply to help you get ahead of it and lessen the damage.” You explain, revelling in the fact that money can’t hide everything.

“And how do you propose to do that?”

You pull out a contract for your serves. “I will need you to sign off on my services first. A small fee plus a far more reasonable price for a three year lease of the offices on the 14th floor of the Madeline Suites”

“Without knowing your plan, I think not.”

You give him a bright smile before mimicking his earlier statement. “I do not deal in favours Mr. Lee.”

He grumbles while taking the pen, eyeing you with a dark gaze as he signs on the dotted line.

With the ink still drying you hand over another small document. “Here are a few of my suggestions. Twenty percent of the commercial residences that you have just vacated will be handed over to non-profits for a drastically reduced monthly lease. I’ll even let you pick which you want to support.”

He looks up at you mortified. “This is excessive.”

“No this is necessary. I’ve seen corporations do far more than this when they are not dealing with a scandal. Your accountants will agree with me that this is the best move, it can be seen as a donation and therefore tax deductible. For the evicted private residences, I was thinking of partnering with a refugee resettlement program but we can discuss that more in depth later.”

You carefully tuck away your contract in Lee’s file before dragging another concern to the forefront. “I do have one more request, before I leave today.”

“What more could you possibly want?” He scoffs.

You lean in to deliver your short but important demand. “A heads up.”

“I don’t know what you mean...”

“I mean if there are any other past dealings or actions which might impact your company I need to be aware of them.” There’s always more hidden in the dark, you have one of those secrets on hand now. You need to see if he’s willing to be upfront with you on every dealing of his past, otherwise you might be forced to dig him out from another grave a couple weeks from now.

“There’s nothing else.”

“Nothing?” You ask again as you pull out your phone ready to bring forward more evidence.

“No.”

“So the knowledge of you having and hiding an illegitimate son... you don’t think that’s important? The existence of the only child of the Lee empire, isn’t newsworthy?”

“How did you-” The terror in his face looks to be even greater than the prior accusation.

“You attempted to evict all of the residents who stayed in your residential apartment for over 10 years if they refused to agree with a massive lease hike. Park Jimin was the only one who wasn’t touched. He has no record of a job, living off what must be money given to him by his parents, so I looked into them. His father wasn’t listed but his late mother, Park Haesoon, used to work for your company, and 22 years ago she signed a NDA issued by your lawyer.”

You open to Jimin’s public instagram page turning it around for his father to see. “He may take mostly after his mother, but I can still see a few clues to your family resemblance.”

“When does this one drop?” Lee asks in dismay.

“It’s not going to, at least, not from me or my source. We try not to deal in personal life consulting, but I am going to give you some advice in this matter. Get ahead of it.”

“My wife won’t hear of it.” Mr. Lee mutters through clenched teeth, it’s easy to see that this conversation has him very much on edge.

You nod seeing the crux of his dilemma. “I looked into the approximate date of his conception, you were newly married at the time, were you not?”

“Yes. She knows, but her family does not, they have a large political presence and we cannot afford to lose all support from them. Trust me, the boy is not worth the risk.”

“He’s your child!” You berate the CEO, your anger getting the better of you as you think of the emotional toll on Jimin. Not only did he lose his mother but his father won't even publicly acknowledge him.

“I won’t be swayed on this matter. If you have nothing else to say you may leave.” Mr. Lee rises from his desk and once again gestures towards the door. “I’ll have keys to your new office space delivered to you tomorrow along with the lease. But I should warn you, if there is even a whisper of his name in public in conjunction with mine, I can assure you, your so-called firm won’t last another week.”

...

Less than a month later you and Hoseok have moved your entire enterprise to the new office space. You’re holding an open house for several different staff positions, when the most unlikely of applicants walks in your door, Park Jimin.

He hands you a piece of paper which you can only guess is his resume, because your eyes fail to leave his face, your mouth unable to form words in your state of shock. Closing the door behind him, he gives you a nervous smile. “Judging from your expression, I take it you know who I am?”

You manage a single nod, still confused as to why he’s here, now, with you. It’s lucky you’re conducting the interviews alone, otherwise it would be difficult to explain your shock to Hoseok without exposing Jimin’s lineage.

“I’ve been wanting to meet with you,” Jimin confesses, adding sheepishly, “My father told me of your meeting. He said you took a bit of an interest in me, even found my social media accounts.”

“Oh, oh no.” You finally manage to sputter out, far more anxious with the younger man than his father. You never intended to meet Jimin, let alone have him find out you dug into some very personal aspects of his past and present. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t intend to invade your privacy. I was only trying to figure out what was going on. And when I learned the truth, I wanted him to own up to his mistake of hiding you.”

Jimin chuckles lightly, sitting down in front of you, “I didn’t come here looking for an apology Miss, I know why you did it. I merely wanted to meet one of the few people to ever successfully scare the shit out of my father.”

The wide beaming smile accompanying his statement spurs a laugh from you, while also allowing you to relax in his presence. “Sometimes you have to intimidate these people to get them to do the right thing. But I’m sorry I wasn’t able to convince him to go public regarding everything.”

“That’s not your fault. In the end it was just nice to hear that there's someone who thinks I deserve better.” Jimin adds, with a look of sorrow leaching into his smile.

“Of course you do, but I must ask, why come here now?” You take a moment to confirm that it is in fact his resume that he’s handed you. ”I can’t imagine that you need a job.” He’s appearance alone is enough to tell you he’s buried in wealth, though his father has not given him the family name, it looks as if Jimin has gained some of the assets.

“Actually that’s exactly what I was looking for.”

“Your father didn’t pressure you to come here to keep an eye on me did he?” You ask with scepticism. Keeping watch over possible threats wouldn’t be a completely off brand for those of his status. And with you knowing some of his deepest secrets you could likely be considered one of the biggest risks.

“No.” Jimin chuckles, briefly raising his hands in surrender. “I promise I’m here of my own volition. Money isn’t my biggest concern, I’ve been hoping to build connections. I want to use my time wisely and work with someone who is worthy of my focus, and that just so happens to be you.” He finishes with a suggestive smirk, making you wonder if you’ve won his affection too.

“And what does your focus get me?” You ask, trying to weigh the benefits versus the risk. You doubt that Mr. Lee will respond kindly to you hiring his son, but if he continues to deny his son’s existence then what right does he have to disagree?

“Anything you require. I was interested in the posting for your secretary, but any position beneath you would suit me nicely.”

...

There’s no way you’ll be able to convince Jimin to willingly change roles and work for Hoseok instead. But you can’t deny that your co-founder’s points are valid.

Jimin greets you warmly as you enter your office. “Did you have a nice lunch?”

“Yeah, it was good.” You respond, forcing out a smile.

“Really? Because you look upset.”

You curse Jimin’s ability to read you at a time like this. “I promise, lunch was fine. Yoongi gave me some substantial leads.” You sigh sliding back in your seat. With your values shaken and morals questioned by Hoseok, you are deeply in need of someone to brace yourself on. Wanting to step out of the realm of responsibility and control even if it’s just for a moment, you make a request to Jimin. “Would you go fetch Jungkook for our meeting?”

“I can just call him in.” He makes the case looking reluctant to leave your side.

“Please Jimin just go get him. I need a few minutes for a personal call.”

Jimin looks at you crestfallen before finally leaving. It’s not often you keep things from him, he can scope you out too well for that. But Kim Namjoon’s actual role in your life is the one secret you feel is the most imperative to hide from him.

You pull out your cell, not wanting to use his number on your work phone. After two rings he picks up. “Couldn’t wait a few more hours to hear my voice baby girl?”

You're too embarrassed to admit he’s right, settling on another excuse for your call. “N-no I just wanted to let you know that I’ve sent someone your way... sir.”

“Don’t lie to me I can hear the need in your voice.” He chuckles lightly as he taunts you. “Your reference already reached out to me. I’m excited to play with him, is he just as handsome as he sounds?”

“More so.”

Namjoon hums on the line in gratification. “My babygirl, giving me another pet to play with.”

You blush from the praise. Taehyung makes the sixth person you’ve suggested following the charity ball you met Namjoon at a couple years ago. Where he, much like you, was secretly scoping out potential clients. Every one of those patrons you’ve given him since then has been his pet, but you, you’re his babygirl.

“I was wondering...” Namjoon’s carries on, in a tone far more hesitant than usual. “Tonight would you be willing to try something a little unconventional? Would you like to share him?”

“W-would that be okay?” He’s never suggested adding another to your sessions before, but you can’t deny you’re intrigued by the prospect.

“He mentioned an interest in you, and after discussing his needs I feel that I require someone other than myself to pin his desires on. You’ll be the carrot while I’ll be the stick. Do you think you could do that for me?” Namjoon proposes in a low purr dragging every heated thought and possibility to the forefront of your mind.

“Yes sir.” Your response is instant, with little thought required. Helping Namjoon with Taehyung? You’d be a fool to turn down the opportunity. There’s a small knock on your office door with the return of Jimin and Jungkook trailing behind him. You start to panic while still on the phone with Namjoon. “I’ll see you later then?”

Namjoon can of course detect the change in your tone, but instead of letting you off the hook he pulls you further. “Did someone walk in on you babygirl? I take it they don’t know about this side of you?”

“No they don’t.”

“No sir.” He calls out your lack of decorum, an error which you know you’ll pay for later. “Such a shame they’re missing out. What do you think they would say if they knew of my plans for you tonight? How I intend to hang you like forbidden fruit above another man. Do you think they would approve?”

Your eyes widen as Namjoon continues and Jungkook takes the seat in front of you with Jimin standing behind him. You clear your throat and hold up your finger to them, gesturing for another minute. Turning away to hide your face as you continue to try and end the call. But hanging up on one’s dom is never advisable, condemning you to listen for as long as he wishes to torment.

“I bet you would like them watch, wouldn’t you?” Namjoon asks, egging on your sinful thoughts, transferring them from Taehyung over to your co-workers.

You shift your thighs trying to dispel the building need as you consider the notation of them watching. Imagining Jungkook’s wide eyes taking in the sight, likely with a hand on his cock, he’s an innocent man with strong desires. You’ve known others like him before, they act with naivete but when confronted with an opportunity for more, they don’t hesitate to gorge on what is presented to them.

And Jimin, would he accept your darker needs? You wish he would, desperately wanting him to play along, to help mould you into submission. Your head now filled with thoughts of kneeling before him taking him in your mouth while he christens you a good girl. If only you could be sure that he wouldn’t react like most people, like those who condemned Taehyung. Your eyes flutter back over to your secretary who is looking at you with deep suspicion. You desperately need to end the call or risk giving yourself away. “I should probably-”

“Am I embarrassing you baby girl?” Namjoon teases with an amused laugh. “Does that mean I’m right?”

“Yes...”

“Yes sir.” Namjoon reminds you once again. “I’ll release you for now, but I better see you here at seven o’clock sharp. Is that understood?”

You breathe a sigh of relief at the release. “Yes sir.” After finally hanging up, you offer up an apology. “Sorry about that.”

“Who was it?” Jimin inquires with a soft tone, but a quick lick to his lips shows his intentions to be far from innocent. His clenched fists and hovering nature further pointing towards jealousy.

“No one important.” You smile through the lie, careful in your attempt to comfort him. It’s pointless to keep acting in this way, but you still can’t bear the thought of disheartening his feelings or pushing him away.

...

After your meeting with Jungkook, you're left with a stack of paperwork and your ever persistent lack of concentration as you try to figure out what can be done with Jimin. Should you just tell him the issue, would it help or would it make the situation worse? If he knows how he is perceived then will the affection stop, and if it does, will you struggle with that loss?

“Can I walk you to your car Miss?” Jimin asks with his jacket in hand. You check the time, reading just after five. So lost in thought you had accomplished almost nothing in the last few hours of the day.

“I think I might just stay here until I have to leave for my appointment, I still have a bit more work to do.” You explain rubbing your hands over your face as you pull yourself from your daze.

“Do you want me to stay too then?”

“No, I couldn’t ask that of you. But before you go I’d like to discuss something” You gesture to the seat across from you which he takes with hesitation. You’re usually not so formal and he can clearly spot the difference. You open your mouth and pause trying to find the right words as his eyes shine in your direction. The evening sun pouring into the room bathing his skin in with golden light makes it so much harder to stick to the issue at hand. You eventually resort to staring at the irrelevant papers on your desk as you open with your concern.

“I’m worried that our actions towards each other imply that our relationship is not strictly professional.” You blurt it out quickly, hating every word that crosses your lips.

“Have I been making you uncomfortable Miss?” Jimin’s expression falls along with his question, the heartbreak ringing out clear in his voice.

“No, no. It’s just, I’m concerned about how others see our interactions.”

“Oh, so someone said something to you then?”

“Hoseok mentioned that a few people think we appear to be a bit more than boss and secretary.” You know it cowardly to bring Hoseok into this, but the information is second hand. You can’t be sure what others have said exactly.

“Well you do know more about me than most.” Jimin laughs lightly.

“That’s not what they are implying. They think we are engaged in a sexual relationship.”

“And...” He draws the word out as if the implication is nothing, implying there should be a better reason for your concerns.

“We aren’t Jimin!”

“Well, there's only one way to fix that.” He stands up leaning towards you over your desk. “You can’t say you haven’t thought about it. We could keep it a secret if you’d like, no one has to know.”

You doubt Jimin could keep a relationship between the two of you hidden, with the way he dotes on you already, you’re one passionate night away from finding three dozen roses on your desk. “Someone would find out, and the fall out-”

“Fuck the fall out,” Jimin states with resolve, reaching out his fingers tucking back a strand of your hair before curling beneath your chin. “I’m tired of this charade. Hoseok only said something because he’s jealous. He’s jealous that you want me as much as I want you.”

“Jimin,” You whisper. “Even if that was the case, that still doesn’t make it right.” You pull back from his touch. “You should go. Think about what I said, because if we can’t maintain at least some level of restraint and professionalism... then you might be better off working for someone else in the office.”

“So you’d rather keep your social image than be happy with me?” Jimin accuses, the usual warmth having completely vanished from his face.

“It’s not like that. My standing is my life, it’s my career, any blemish would destroy everything I have.” You attempt to express the fear inside you, the weight that bears on you every day. You already have so many secrets and liabilities, but one as close and extensive as a relationship with him might finally crush you and everything you’ve built. “I like you, I really do, but I can’t take the risk. You have to understand, I’m not like you. I don’t have a secret trust fund to fall back on.”

Jimin looks as though you’ve stabbed him, pulling away he heads to the exit. “I’m sorry I’m not worth the risk. You know, I thought you were better than that, but it would seem you’re just like everyone else.”

The door slamming between you echoes through the office as you sag in your chair. Never in all your years have you ever sunk so low. By taking him on you wanted to ensure Jimin’s happiness, to show him his value despite the lack of acknowledgement from his father, but now it seems you’ve fallen into the same role as those who have hurt him before.

...

You type your code into Namjoon’s door, stepping into his hall quickly and shutting the door behind you. It’s just before seven and usually you find him in his living room already waiting, but today it’s empty. Not wanting to disturb him, you take a seat on the couch and wait patiently for him to join you.

You feel ready to fold in on yourself as you continue to dwell on your argument with Jimin. If you laid out boundaries earlier you likely wouldn’t be where you are now. Hating yourself over his confession, and your inability to accept it.

There’s movement from the bedroom door as Namjoon’s partner Seokjin comes out to greet you. You look up in bewilderment as he takes your hand, pulling you off the couch. “Namjoon has already started with the other client, so he sent me to fetch you.”

You nod understanding Namjoon’s divergence from the norm, it wouldn’t be safe practice for him to leave Taehyung alone in a precarious position. Now looking to the door with curiosity, you’re excited by what lustful visions will greet you on the other side. But when Seokjin presents something to you it’s clear that you won’t get to see those sights.

“You’ve been asked to wear this.” He holds out a wide silken strip, one that Namjoon has used as a blindfold in the past. You allow Seokjin to cover your eyes, with a touch far more gentle than you know Namjoon’s to be. You don’t want kindness, craving instead to be broken in by the man in the other room, especially after the damage you’ve done today. The loss of your vision will have to be punishment enough for the time being.

“Does he want me to undress too?” You ask, touching the silk over your eyes, you're completely blind and already longing for the next step.

“No he wishes to save that pleasure for himself.”

You smirk thinking he might, you’ve been wearing his gift all day it’s only right that he gets to see it first.

There’s a knock and a click of the door before Seokjin takes you in hand again, leading you in. The air is warmer and heavier than that of the living room, making it impossible to draw a fresh breath.

Seokjin pushes down on your shoulder, a wordless order to kneel. The plush carpet meeting your knees as you lower yourself, if only you could reach out to get a better sense of what’s in front of you, but form dictates that you keep your hands on your lap.

The bedroom door closes, signalling Seokjin's departure. Sending one last wave of clean air before you're smothered once again. Locked away for the night with your master and his new pet. There’s a small creek from the mattress and the familiar rattle of restraints against the bedpost. You can just barely make out the tone of Namjoon’s low whisper as he speaks to the current tenant of the bed.

Footsteps land to your left, muffled by the wall to wall but still sending vibrations through the floor. As Namjoon approaches, your heart pounds wondering what his first move against you will be. He takes his sweet time letting the anticipation build as your chest continues to heave in its attempts to take in the thick air. You keep your posture, maintaining your stance with the knowledge that he will inspect you. Head lowered, hands on thighs, perched on your toes as your knees dig into the ground. Your legs soon start to tremble as your feet strain to bear the weight.

Namjoon settles right in front of you, the slow draw of his breath reaches your ears, while the heat of his exhale hits your face. A hand trails up the outside of your thigh stilling the tremor in your legs with a forceful grip. You freeze wondering if your jitters will cost you, you can’t let him find fault not if you want him to reward you with his presence.

But as he takes your chin tightly between his index and his thumb, you know you're in the clear. He tilts your head up as you breathe a sigh of relief. “Such a good girl, setting the perfect example.” His fingers slide down petting the column of your throat with a firm touch. “I was so happy to receive your picture this morning, did you wear the gift all day as ordered?”

“Yes sir.” You pant back, eager for him to see for himself.

“It wasn’t too hard for you then, to go so long in such a confined state?”

“No sir.”

“Good girl,” He purrs in your ear as he starts unfastening your shirt. He hesitates on the buttons for a moment. “Babygirl, would you care to tell me why you're wearing a men’s shirt?”

You swallow not wanting to admit that it’s the fault of the man currently lying in his bed. You plan to take the fall, wanting Namjoon’s undivided attention even if it’s in the form of a punishment. “I spilled something on mine sir.”

“So clumsy.” He has the shirt completely off now revealing the corset for him and likely Taehyung to see. Namjoon helps you to stand, unzipping your skirt he pushes it to the floor. You feel so helpless without your sight but Namjoon doesn’t seem to mind assisting. He uses the soft fabric of the shirt to dab at the sweat beading on your skin. “Who, may I ask, clothed you in theirs? Such an expensive label, he must think highly of you.”

You shift in place, made uncomfortable by your inability to answer. Knowing if you say his name thoughts of him will be summoned to your mind. You don’t deserve to think of him at such a time, not after you led him on and left him dry.

“You don’t wish to tell me?” The feel of Namjoon’s breath leaves you, the sounds of his feet indicating he’s moved to the right of you. Heading to a space you know to be occupied by a table and closet full of his tools. There’s a scrap of metal and what sounds like the jingle of buckles.

“No sir.”

“And why is that?” Fingers trail up your arm as Namjoon signals his return to your side.

“Because I’m not allowed to have him sir.”

“A noble response.” Namjoon reasons while he wraps the leather strap of a familiar collar around your neck. “But I still plan to get that name from you before we’re done.” He buckles it swiftly checking the tightness with two fingers. You thought him finished but he progresses to cuff your wrists in leather too, tethering them together in front of you.

He leans in again with a hushed request, “Still know your safe word?” You nod repeating is back to him before he leads you on towards the bed.

Namjoon stands behind you as he presents you to his new pet. When you gave Taehyung Namjoon’s number you hadn’t been expecting this but you can’t deny enjoying the prospect. But you find the silence and lack of reaction from him unnerving. “I asked him not to make a sound,” Namjoon explains, “And he’s abiding by my rules so well it’s he?”

Namjoon takes your hands helping you to feel the current state in which Taehyung is interned. A Leather cuff just like yours binds one of his wrists with a short chain leading to bedpost. You imagine that his other limbs are restricted to the other corners of the bed, for Namjoon has bound you in the same state before.

“Can he see?” You ask Namjoon wondering if he has been left blind too, or if he’s eyes are watching you now.

“Can he see you? He can babygirl, in fact, he hasn’t looked away once, and why would he?” Namjoon sits you down on the large bed to join Taehyung before pulling down the matching underwear to your corset. “They’re so wet, have you been soaking these all day?”

You nod in response. A delighted Namjoon makes an offer to Taehyung. “Would you like a taste pet? A reward for being so good.” Namjoon revels in his situation with a chuckle, the man beneath you must have nodded. “Then open up.” You know what a taste means for Namjoon, those panties of yours are most certainly shoved into Taehyung's mouth. He lets out a groan of satisfaction at the welcome intrusion.

Namjoon’s hands find your waist dragging you up further on to the bed with your knees now resting on the mattress. “You’re going to straddle him for me babygirl.” He shifts you over pulling up one of your legs to settle them on either side of the man beneath you. Your knees bent with your calves coming to rest against his bare hips. Without his billowy clothes he is far more slight than you expected, but his skin feels firm and toned.

You slowly move to lower yourself knowing what you will come down on top of as you sit, but Namjoon seems to have other plans in mind. He takes your bound wrist, lifting them above your head and latching the cuffs to a chain in the rafters of the canopy bed. Once fixed in place he tests your limitations, a quick tug to show you even with your arms fully extended you are only able to lower yourself to half a kneel. You groan in frustration with the realization you can’t move any closer to the cock that rests below you. It’s just as he promised, hung like forbidden fruit above another man. Your dominant’s flare for the poetic never failing to surprise you.

“Problem babygirl?” Namjoon cooes in your ear. “Do you have something you want to say?”

“No sir.”

“Good, because if I recall you still need to be punished for your lack of formality on the phone earlier today.”

Your stomach drops as you realize he’s going to discipline you right now, in full view of Taehyung. The heat rises to your face at the thought of being demeaned in front of another. Namjoon’s hand cups your bare ass, readying it for the assault. “You failed to call me sir twice, three for each lapse should do it.”

While the first strike eases you in, those that follow are not so gentle. The ring of his index biting your flesh with each impact. The third strike is so strong you pivot forward on your knees, your back arching as you bare forward still confined to the corset and chains. The weight of your body pulls painfully on your shoulders for a brief second, but Namjoon is there to catch you. Stopping you before you can slip and more, and propping you back in place before continuing.

One hand lays firmly on your stomach to prevent the shift from happening again, while the other rubs the curve of your ass mapping where he should strike next. You can feel the warmth in your skin as the blood rises to the surface in reaction to his beating. Your nerves are caught in the struggle between pain and pleasure, even as the sixth and final blow lands.

“Good girl.” Namjoon whispers his touch disappearing, as you ease down against your restraints. You hang completely by your wrists while your legs quake from the shock. Every nerve in your body feels as though it’s been left on fire with nothing to quench the flames. Leaving you to hang there for what seems like eternity.

“Sir?” You whisper in the dark as the heat continues to build inside you. Wondering where he has gone your body reacts, begging for the return of his attention with a dripping cunt. And with Taehyung below that can only mean the steady drip of your arousal is left to fall on him.

“Babygirl you’re making such a mess.” Namjoon confirms along with a groan from the man beneath you. “But he appears to be leaking too. Do you want some?” You nod eager for a taste.

Namjoon obliges, grabbing your throat in one hand, he presses a damp finger to your lips for you to take. Your mouth latches over the offered digit, allowing the bitter fluid to sweep over your tongue. You're forced to let it sit there unable to swallow as the grip on your throat tightens, with the strap of the collar digging into your skin. Your mouth fills with saliva prompting you to close it despite your desperate need for air.

“Does he taste good?” Namjoon wickedly possesses knowing you can barely even nod. It’s when you start to tremble that he finally releases your airway.

You swallow quickly before letting your mouth hang open in a pant. With your lungs still restricted by the corset your breathing comes in short shuddering waves. “Yes sir, so good.”

“I think he likes having you drench him, shall we give him more?”

“Please.” You beg but Namjoon suddenly delivers a staggering blow to your backside, indicating your misstep. You’re left gasping from the sudden impact, swinging in the restraints as you try to recoil. “Please sir.” Your plea comes again this time with the proper decorum.

There’s a crinkle of what sounds like a condom wrapper as Namjoon readies himself behind you. His fingers damp with lubrication find your back entrance, your tight hole giving way to a single finger. “You’ve been training for me like I asked?”

“Yes sir.” You almost come at the thought of it along with pleasure with the swirling digit. You’ve dabbled in anal before testing out a few toys, but a few weeks ago he sent you a plug with a tapered t-shaped end, giving you strict orders to wear it to work the following day. Unfortunately that was the date you had scheduled a meeting with your whole team. You were a flustered mess as you fought through your presentation, Jimin’s presence by your side making it so much more difficult to maintain control of your arousal . But the full day of public and torturous stimulation was worth it, for the reward that night was a call from Namjoon. His orders led you through every action of self pleasure. Telling you when and where to touch before finally directing you to come. You’ve used the item several times on your own since, knowing your practice would help you in this moment. You wanted to make Namjoon proud and take him with little resistance. That desire now intensified with having Taehyung as an audience.

“Then you're ready to take me in front of him?”

You nod gripping chains of the restraints as Namjoon eases into you. “Just relax.” His hands glide down your shoulders and back, coming to rest splayed across your hips, the tips of his finger root under the corset and dig into your stomach. Your grip eases as you lean back into him. “That’s it.” He mutters quietly as you stretch to accommodate him. “Good girl.”

After taking a few inches Namjoon pushes down on the front of your corset bowing the metal latches back to so they release, with a few clicks and swift presses the garment is off allowing you to breathe deeper than you have all day.

“God you should see him babygirl, he’s so ruined by the sight of you. You have him panting for you.” You wish you could curse Namjoon for his choice to blindfold you and silence Taehyung, you would take any punishment that came of it, but all you can muster is a gasp while he continues to fill you more. “I wonder how he’ll react,” One of Namjoon’s hands leaves your hips coming to rest with something soft against your aching clit. “When he sees you come.” With a click the object vibrates, throwing you back completely onto Namjoons cock from the shock.

You catch Namjoon’s lustful groan between your cries. He starts to thrust inside of you one hand gripping your chest while the other holds the vibrate down in place despite your bucking hips. It doesn’t take long for you to completely fold. As the heat inside you finally reaches its peak you shatter, your head falling back on Namjoon’s shoulder as you convulse and moan. With nothing for your cunt to clench your legs grip the trussed man between them. He too lets out a sinful groan as the fluids from your fold continue to drip down your legs meet his adjoining skin.

Namjoon turns the device off and slips out, the bed shifts as he moves in front of you. When his hand cups your face you lean into his touch. “You okay?”

You nod hoping he’ll be lenient with your lack of speech. You hear him whisper as he checks in with Taehyung too. “I’m going to take these now.” Namjoon must finally be freeing him from the waded underwear of yours.

Namjoon’s hands find you again, playing with the arousal dripping down your legs as he drags his fingers up to the source. A finger grazes your folds slipping between without penetrating. You pull desperately against your restraints hoping that it might find its way inside.

“So are you going to tell me who you’re not allowed to have?” Namjoon asks again. “Or do I have to let you hang here all night?”

“My secretary...” You give in with a whisper, hoping that Taehyung won’t hear.

“And what’s his name? Say it and I’ll give you what you want.”

The deal is too good for you to resist, you last only a couple more seconds before finally giving in. Crying out, “Jimin,” as two of Namjoon’s fingers breach you. Your sopping slit squelching as he curls his fingers.

“There it is.” Namjoon sighs, his other hand brushing your cheek. “Is he the reason you’re so worked up tonight babygirl?”

“Y-yes sir.” You stutter as his fingers continue. He gives you another minute of bliss before removing his digits.

“You’re going to do something for me, okay?” Namjoon asks. You nod as he continues to hold your face. “That man between your legs, you are going to fuck him and imagine Jimin as you do so, is that clear?”

“Yes sir.”

“Is that okay with you pet?” He asks the other occupant, who still remains silent with his answers. The sound of another condom wrapper, comes as your confirmation. Taehyung lets out an unexpected high pitched whine, likely due to the pressure that comes with the latex being rubbed down his shaft. You’re already so invested in the lie that he’s even starting to sound like Jimin.

Namjoon is once again behind you. You can hear the rattle of the length of chain that holds you up and as he sinks back into you, his cock slipping in far easier this time, your body gladly welcomes the fullness of his intrusion. He then lowers you inch by inch, with little strength left in your legs you are relying only on the restraints and Namjoon to hold you up. After gaining a bit more freedom you can feel the tip of a cock brushing up against you. Namjoon’s arm comes to rest on your thigh as he lines the erection up for you to take it inside. It’s a slow descent, as you stretch to accommodate both of them. Your thankful Namjoon’s mercy for easing you down gradually.

When you bottom out Namjoon pulls the chain down from the rafters he releases the length from your cuffs, but rather than discarding it he attaches it to your collar, tugging on it as if it’s a leash. Though your hands are still bound together you have the freedom to rest them on the man laying down in front of you. You take pleasure in dragging the tips of your fingers across his skin, feeling his abs flex and his cock twitch inside you as you do so.

Namjoon starts to thrust, keeping a close hold on your collar. While he pushes you are sent up and down on what you desperately want to be Jimin’s thick cock. After a few thrusts you are shoved forward entirely by Namjoon, colliding with the man beneath you. Your chest is pushed into his, as your bound hands are pinned between the two of you. While your head is left to rest on his shoulder, the tip of your nose is able to graze his neck. As you breathe in your mind continues to play tricks, the smell coming off him mimics that of the cologne your secretary wears, rather than the scent of Taehyung.

Namjoon must have unbound his legs as they bend up to cradle your own from behind his hips bucking into yours, with both men taking you at a steady pace.

You move in closer to his neck, with a lick you taste the salt of his skin showing your intentions. Biting down on the spot, you suck in deeply as your teeth dig in even harder. The carnal groans you receive from him sending shivers to your spine. There’s the sound of a soft slap, Namjoon didn’t hit you, but the man beneath you returns to his ordered silence.

Namjoon thrusts even harder, pushing you into his chest repeatedly. The thought of being fucked into Jimin’s embrace is too much to bear. Your cunt clenches as you continue envisioning your secretary, and how you're grinding your clit against his pelvis.

You cry out over the swelling girths inside you, knowing their both likely to come soon. Clenching down one last time you dissolve in the pleasure and contentment. Namjoon finishes first remaining inside while his pet comes too. He leaves you there laying upon your imagined Jimin, in your daze you can barely move let alone focus on reality. With a wave of exhaustion you start to slip from consciousness, but not before one last praise reaches your ears. Your delirium grants you the satisfaction of hearing the voice of Jimin whisper, “Good girl.”

...

You can’t remember the last time you slept so well. You woke early to find Namjoon had taken care of you in the night, he released your wrist cuffs, and removed your blindfold, after you had passed out from the physical exertion. The only restraint to remain was your collar which he asked you to wear today. Taehyung was sadly already gone, but you can’t deny it was nice to have Namjoon to yourself before you left.

Now as you head off to work, showered and freshly dressed, with a turtleneck hiding your gift, you check your phone for the first time. Finding a string of apologetic messages sent from Jimin in the early hours of the morning. You reply apologizing too and asking to revisit the subject as soon as you get into work. Thankfully he agrees, the smiling emoji he ends his text on sends a wave of relief through you.

You step in the front entrance of your building ready to handle and objectively listen to Jimin’s thoughts and concerns. While you wait for the elevator your phone vibrates listing a call from an unknown number. “Hello?”

“Hey it’s Taehyung. Hope you don’t mind, I stole your personal number from my father.”

“Taehyung...” Heat starts to rise in your face at the thought of last night. The elevator arrives and you quickly step in. “No, not at all, to what do I owe the honour of this call.”

“No need to be so formal,” He giggles at you.

“Sorry, habit,” You respond. “What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to thank you for yesterday...” Taehyung starts off.

But his words are soon interrupted by someone shouting, “Hold the door.” You comply, pushing the button to keep them open, while trying to keep your focus on your conversation with Taehyung.

“...It’s not often that I meet someone who I can be so open with. I called the man you recommended and I’ve scheduled my first session with him tomorrow.”

You freeze, unable to fully comprehend what he’s saying, surely he misspoke. It can’t be his first session. “W-what do you mean your first session is tomorrow? You were there-” The collar hidden beneath your turtleneck feels as though it’s tightening around your throat. “Last night, I saw you-” The line goes dead as the elevator closes and starts to ascend. It was Taehyung in the bed with you and Namjoon last night. You saw... nothing you saw nothing because of the blindfolded that you were asked to wear.

“Everything okay?” You jump at the sound of the other voice, forgetting that some else had gotten into the elevator. Looking up you find Jimin there beaming at you, his head tilted from his query.

“Namjoon,” You flutter with your phone, too panicked to even greet your secretary properly. “I need to call Namjoon.” But the line won’t connect, not with you in the elevator. “Fuck...” You try again your patience not willing to wait the minute it’ll take to disembark on your floor.

You are almost there when the elevator shudders and stops. The sudden halt sends you off balance, but Jimin’s there to grab hold of you before you can fall. You thank him before stepping back and putting a bit of distance between the two of you again.

Jimin turns his attention to the panel, pushing the call button, he waits for someone to answer, but the call remains silent.

While he continues in his attempt to make contact, every scene of the night before floods back to your memory as you try to piece everything together. It was Taehyung, it had to be. He must just be playing a stupid joke. He was surely going to shout ‘gotcha’ before the phone disconnected, but you won’t know for certain until someone can get you off this blasted lift. You sink to the floor and Jimin follows, unable to reach anyone on the outside.

Despite your best efforts to rationalize what happened, your panicked breaths fail to slow, Spots start appearing in your vision as the elevator sways around you. Your breakfast threatens to make another appearance on the polished marble floor.

“It’ll be fine. Someone will notice soon.” Jimin attempts to comfort you but even that won’t quash the fear raging inside you.

“It’s not just that...” You whisper. “Something happened last night. I need to call Namjoon, I need to figure out...” Who was actually in that bed with you. Your confusion and panic break free sending you into a fit of tears as you hug your knees to your chest.

“Hush, it’s okay.” Jimin readjusts, moving in front of you and taking your hands in his. He leans towards you as he whispers in your ear. “Don’t cry babygirl.”

Your eyes snap to look at Jimin in alarm. Your prior worries are nothing compared to the terror which takes hold now. “H-how do you know that name?” Your stuttered words barely make their way past your lips.

“I think you know the answer to that question.” He pulls at the collar of his shirt allowing you to spot a large red mark on his neck, right where you had bitten the man you once thought to be Taehyung. “I wanted to wait a bit longer, I wanted more moments like we had last night but it would seem that someone had to go and ruin it.” You pull back but Jimin’s hands shift to take hold of your wrists, mimicking the manacles that embraced you the night before. “Are you not happy babygirl? You got your wish. And I... I got what I’ve always wanted.”

“This is so wrong Jimin! You knew I thought you were someone else! You knew that I wouldn’t have done that last night if I knew the truth.”

“Even though I was the one you really wanted babygirl?”

“Stop calling me that! Just because of what happened last night does not make me yours. You lied to Namjoon. You said that I sent you. You told him you were Taehyung!”

Jimin gives a wicked laugh in response to your accusations. “Oh, but you are mine. Namjoon is the one who’s been keeping things from you. He’s been in my employ far longer than yours.” He coos as his fingers tighten their grip on you. “I was the reason you were introduced to him, and I was the one who bestowed you with that name shortly after.”

“No, that’s not possible, Namjoon and I, we met at a charity event.”

“Hosted by my father. Where I told him to make himself known to you, to entice you to become one of his pets. I may have acted the sub last night but I am the one who holds Namjoon’s reins, I always have.”

“No he would never do that! He’s considerate and-”

“Had so much to gain by dominating you on my behalf. Money, power, and an assurance of safety, he would’ve been a fool to turn my offer down. Especially since you were so willing to play along with him. I dare say he enjoyed his time with you, but I was the one who permitted him to touch you. I was there to listen, to read, and to direct every conversation. Those gifts he told you to wear to the office, they were all from me.” He lets go of one of your wrists to pull down the neck of your shirt. Revealing the leather band strapped around your neck. “Today it’s the collar, yesterday it was the corset, and a few weeks ago...” Jimin smirks as he recalls the memory to your mind. “You barely made it through that meeting thanks to my gift.”

It’s impossible to swallow the admissions coming from him, but regardless of what may be true or false, you won’t stand for any of it. “You’ve had your fun, but this ends now.” You reach up attempting to remove the collar but Jimin pushes you to the floor pinning your arms above you as he straddles you. The elevator wavers from the struggle, teetering as you lay captive beneath him.

“I don’t think you understand the situation you’ve placed yourself in. I hold in my possession your darkest secrets. One’s that will ruin you if they make their way out. Your illegal activity with a sex worker, your inappropriate sexual conduct with your secretary. Not to mention the names and dubious activities of every client you’ve recommended to Namjoon’s services.”

“Why... why are you doing this?”

“Because you found me. I worked so hard to exploit my father from the outside, getting everything I wanted without the threat of public exposure. I couldn’t let you ruin it all. When we first met I considered you a threat, but then I saw how easy and enjoyable it was to mould to my will. The more intimate you become with someone the more power you give them over you. Simply being your secretary isn’t enough, not if I want you in a more pliable state.” Jimin hushed whisper mixes with a haunting giggle as his lips come to your ear. “I plan to bend you to fit every one of my needs.”

“You’re psychotic!” You lash out trying to throw him off but he stems your revolt by planting himself further down on to you, sitting on your chest as the elevator sways.

“Psychotic? No, I am simply a man who found his passion amidst his revenge. I know what I desire, and vengeance has taught me how best to take it. So if you want to keep yourself and everything else around you from falling, I suggest you play along like a good girl. Or I promise you, my punishments won’t be as kind as what you’ve experienced before.”

“What is it that you want?” You ask, already fearing his answer. He has you trapped in a gilded cage with him, where one misstep will send you plummeting to meet your end. Nothing that comes accompanied by such threats can be palatable.

“At work? To keep the status quo, I’ll remain your secretary, only so I can keep a better hold on you.”

“Hoseok won’t agree to that. He already thinks I should ditch you. I should have listened to him.”

“Then you will make him agree or he might have an accident, much like your accountant did. He too thought we were too close, even threatened to say something. Don’t worry I saved us from him, just as I’ll save us from Hoseok if you can’t convince him to back off. Do you think you can get him to agree now?”

You give a solemn nod, with Hoseok on the line you have no choice.

“After hours, we’ll drop the middleman.” Jimin lowers himself further on to you, laying down on top, his weight flattening you to the floor. With his head coming to rest on your restrained arm as he whispers further plans. “Every night you’ll come to me instead, and every morning you’ll have a new gift to wear. When we step off this elevator you’ll act as if nothing is wrong. You will go about business as usual, is that clear babygirl?”

You stifle a sob staring directly up and away from his eyes, not daring to give him the satisfaction of your fear. With little else to cling to, all you can do is agree for the time being, as much as it pains you, you choke out your compliance. “Yes...”

“Yes what?” Jimin purrs, his lips faintly touching your ear. “Address me properly, or I will find ways to discipline you right here on this lift.” His fingers tighten and nails bite into your skin.

“Yes sir,” you whine as a plea for him to stop.

Jimin mercifully lessens his hold on your wrists, hitting you instead with a smirk and befouled praise. “Good girl. I knew you’d finally see that I’m worth the risk.”

...

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crescentsteel · 4 years ago

Text

Keeping a Secret - Part 8

pairing: Tsukishima x f!manager of Sendai Frogs genre: sexual tension/crack/fluff/slow burn wc: 7.4k [a/n]

Thank you so much guys for being patient. I’m feeling so so much better now, but still recovering.

Updates will still be slow but doing my best. I want to pay attention to my other hobbies again (dance, sing, games, cosplay).

AO3 link is in the masterlist page.

Let me know if you want to be part of the taglist.

Part 7 || Part 9 || masterlist

He wakes up from the slight trickle of light seeping through his room’s window. Did he not close his curtains before sleeping? He always makes sure they’re closed because he hates waking up to the brightness of the sun. Even the slightest rays of light cause him to wake up. He sits up and rubs one eye as he tries to make sense of why his curtains are open and why his head feels a bit funny that morning.

His hand stops moving and his whole body goes stiff when last night’s occurrences flash in his head. There’s not one single moment omitted from his memory.

He remembers drinking in that foul place because he was so upset that he even bothered going there in the first place. He remembers every little foolish thing he did - the immense amount of flirting from his end, his inability to walk straight, talking to his fucking keys, and getting caught drunk by his brother.

He looks at the space beside him for a while and groans, regretting everything last night.

The only pleasing memory from last night was when you laid down on his bed… and everything that followed after that. Yet that seems to be the only thing he imagined apart from the rest of what he can remember.

He’s been repressing the urge to kiss you ever since you broke the deal. So much so that his brain probably conjured up a scene that would satisfy that desire.

It felt so real though. You were so pliant and inviting. Even now, he can still remember how you whimpered his name and how you arched your body closer towards his touch.

He gently shakes his head.

You probably decided to go home after you changed and he was probably asleep by then, dreaming the whole thing. He reaches for his eyewear case and wears his glasses. He seats himself at the foot of his bed, gathering his thoughts once more before he stands up.

He hears his door open and doesn’t bother looking up. It’s probably Akiteru. He’s very sure he’ll hear from his brother about him being drunk and brought home by you. He doesn’t have any valid explanation as to why he got himself drunk... so he keeps his head down to avoid his brother’s gaze before the taunts come.

“Please don’t tell me you have a hangover.”

The voice is definitely not Akiteru’s. He slowly lifts his eyes up to see if it’s truly who he thinks it is.

When he does, his eyes land on your figure leaning back on his door with your arms crossed as you regard him with both worry and chagrin.

You’re wearing his clothes, like you were in his dream. Was it really a dream though when you’re actually in his room right now wearing the exact same clothes?

No, it wasn’t. It really happened. You slept with him, in the most literal sense, with your hands clasped together. He takes in your appearance again. Without his glasses last night, he didn’t notice how big his clothes actually are on you. He really doesn’t pay much attention to your build. Your personality makes you standout and your presence is bigger than most people he has met.

But as he stares at you now, you seem silly acting all high and mighty when you look like a mouse wearing his clothes. He keeps a straight face despite being amused at your appearance.

Unable to read Tsukishima’s expression, you feel your frustration rising. Is he still dazed? After all the effort you put last night, does he have a hangover? He’s staring at you far too long without saying anything. “I will give you the worst earful you’ll ever get in your life if you have a fucking hangover,” you spit out. You did not suffer last night’s horrors only for him to have a hangover this morning.

“I don’t. I’m only trying to recall everything last night,” he says with his voice back to normal, devoid of the previous evening’s teasing and uncharacteristic flirtatiousness.

You two regard one another carefully, traces of what happened clear in each other’s eyes. Yet, no one dares speak of it.

You decide to break the ice first as you smile your best at him. “I hope you remember how you talked to your keys,” you say with mirth glazing your tone.

He squints at you while you maintain your cheery grin. He averts his gaze and answers, “I did no such thing,” even though his demeanor clearly says he fully remembers he did.

You snort before getting your clothes last night from his desk. You place the bottle of water you grabbed from their kitchen to his desk. “Drink up. You’re still probably thirsty,” you tell him with a tone almost similar to Coach’s when someone from the team is acting up. Then you head to their restroom without saying anything else.

When you finish changing back to your clothes from last night, you check your reflection in the mirror. You look a bit tired but still okay, considering what you’ve been through. At least Tsukishima is no longer a flirting menace and you’re no longer a blushing virgin.

You dump his dirty clothes in their laundry basket and go back to his room to let him know you’re leaving.

“You will attend this afternoon’s training, right?” you ask just to be sure. He stands up and narrows his eyes at you. “Why wouldn’t I?”

You grin at his response. The Tsukishima you know is back and is as nasty as you remember him to be. “Great to know. Anyways, I’ll leave now. I have classes soon and I still need to go back home to change,” you announce before going for his door.

But before you even touch the door knob, you feel him grip your arm. “Hey,” he says sternly. You turn around to face him, curious about what he has to say that he has to touch you to stop you from leaving. “What?” He answers by dipping down to reach your lips. He plants a chaste kiss on them that it makes your heart tumble from how uncharacteristically tender it is. He pulls back, remaining only centimeters away from your face for a while before he completely withdraws away.

You gape at him dumbfounded, uncertain what to make of what he just did.

“I’m confused,” you admit.

He cocks one brow up but the rest of his features are still unreadable.

“I thought you’d be smart enough to get what it means,” he says before a smirk creeps up on his lips, turning his blank expression to a smug one.

You scoff and look away with disbelief, but you quickly recover as you face him again with a smirk of your own. “You really this snarky in the morning, Tsukishima? You could’ve asked nicely if you wanted to be kiss buddies again,” you taunt him for you know he won’t openly admit it.

“I already did. Last night,” he answers, his eyes and tone no longer sneering.

He did?

‘We already broke that deal, Tsukki.’

‘Then let’s bring it back.’

He did.

You just didn’t think he actually meant it. You were convinced that it was just an alcohol-induced volatility.

Your confusion turns to something you can’t fully describe, something exasperating yet delightful at the same time.

You chuckle as you roll your eyes. “Indeed, you did,” you say before stepping out of his room, but for the second time, he stops you from leaving.

“You haven’t given me an answer yet.”

With your back facing him, you smile when you hear his persistence.

You hastily turn around and latch an arm around his neck, pushing yourself against his body. You tip your toes to reach him and press your lips firmly against his.

Before it even sinks in him, you quickly pull back with your arms slowly dropping on his chest. You give it one tap and quietly say, “There’s your answer.”

You swiftly release yourself from him and third time’s a charm, you successfully get out of his room.

He watches you hurriedly close his door, then sighs when you’re no longer in sight.

“How annoying,” he utters.

Yet there’s the tiniest smile on his lips as he starts getting ready for his day.

—

Even though your secret deal is back, no one speaks of what almost happened that night on his bed. Both of you are aware that it did, but no one dares mention it.

The secret kisses you share are also back to how it was - passionate but still harmless, nothing like the sensual one you had when he got drunk.

There’s also been no repeat of the hugging disaster you did at the Sendai gymnasium. Things are back to how it’s supposed to be.

Yet you can’t shake off the feeling that something changed.

Whatever. Maybe you’re just overthinking it because the project is ending soon. When it does, your little secret will cease to exist and you’ll become nothing more than his manager. Things will be back to how it was before the unfortunate pairing your professor did.

Was it really that unfortunate though? You stare at nothing for a while then take a deep breath to brush off your unnecessary thoughts.

You should be focused on the upcoming game, not on what happens with you and Tsukishima behind closed doors. You better go down to the benches with them than staring at the court when there’s not even a game taking place.

“Fancy seeing you again, Miss Manager.”

You turn your head to the side to see who’ll be this match’s receiver of your rejectorama streak. You’re a bit surprised when it’s not someone in their jersey, but someone in a business suit regarding you with a professional smile. You know this guy. You’ve met him somewhere for sure.

Ah, yes. He’s that guy talking with Bokuto when Tsukishima introduced you.

You return the guy’s smile as you tilt your whole body to face him. “Sir Promoter,” you acknowledge quaintly. “How may I be of any help to you today?”

“I was wondering if you can tell me more about the Frogs this year,” he says kindly, all too kindly for your taste. You’d brush him off but you might just be reading into it too much. He might be actually only doing his job.

“I’d love to, but we have a game. Maybe another time, Sir Promoter,” you maintain your goody two shoes act to mirror his nice guy demeanor.

“How about tonight then?”

There it is - the slight tug of his lips and the hint of mischievousness that quickly flashed by his eyes. It was there only briefly but you saw it. He accidentally bared the fangs he’s hiding.

You take a step closer to him and give him a calculated smirk. Something tells you that you can’t pull the same antics you use to drive others away with this guy. You remember how he was studying you when you met the first time. You know he was into you or liked how you look at least.

As quick as he is to slip to his playful demeanor, he’s just as fast to be back to being well-mannered and polished, which you’re not totally sold on.

He’s playing a different game from others who have tried to ask you out. So you decide to change it up a bit and be upfront with him rather than creep him out with your weirdness.

“Are you asking me on a date, Sir Promoter?” you ask with unbridled mischievousness designed to throw him off.

Your plan works as you see him catch off his guard a bit with your direct question. However, he instantly recovers with his civil smile back on his face.

“Me? Sorry to disappoint but it’s purely for work.”

Your brow shoots up at his response.

“It won’t be a date or anything,” he says with the same nice guy facade right before he tears it down as he smirks and leans down to whisper in your ear.

“Unless you want it to be.”

A smirk shows itself from your lips before you can suppress it. You have to admit. This guy is good. He knows that part of your job is to provide the information he needs from the team. He’s using that to his benefit and make it seem this invite is completely for professional purposes.

You might have believed it and might have been completely fooled if you haven’t met him yet before.

You laugh a bit as you internally admit your defeat.

“After the match then, Sir Promoter.”

He pulls away and stands straight back up with a grin. “It’s Kuroo, in case you forgot,” he reintroduces himself. “I didn’t.” You wink then pass by him without saying.

Kuroo chuckles to himself when you leave. He doesn’t mix business with pleasure. He really needs to get the updated profile of the Frogs for their database. He also needs to know which players he can include for their collaboration with Molten.

He planned to keep things professional and tried to keep his business pants on. But he failed to keep it for long when you easily noticed how attracted he is to you.

He shakes his head with a smile then heads to the benches where he’ll watch the game himself.

—

You clap your hands merrily after you tally the last winning point made by Kyoutani. Two more games and your team will be up against a team from Division 1.

The Frogs have only been successful in achieving a game with Division 2 in your first year as a manager. After that it’s been mostly at the top 3 or 4.

This year, you’re confident that you’ll advance again among other Division 2 teams.

When the team disperses for some down time after the match, you approach Coach Mira. “Hi Coach, I won’t be on the bus going back. The VBA promoter wants to ask me stuff about the team. I’ll gather everyone when it’s time to leave then meet the guy. Is there anything else you need me to do, Coach?”

She looks at you and smiles gratefully. “Nothing else, y/n. Thanks for your hard work as always.”

You smile back appreciatively before you turn around to get back on your tally sheet. You need to review the statistics of each member who played in the games.

“Hey,” you hear Tsukishima’s voice behind you before you grab your notebook.

“Hmm?” you respond quizzically, wondering what he might want from you after a game. “You’re meeting Kuroo later?” he asks with his usual empty tone and expression.

“Yeah. You know him?”

You know that Tsukishima knows Bokuto, but you’re not sure if he knows the promoter Bokuto was with at the time. The Kuroo person might have just been there. Tsukishima nods. “He…,” he trails off, sounding unsure of what he’s going to say next.

“He what?” you ask as you get your tally sheet from the bench.

“I trained with him too, along with Bokuto. He taught me how to block.” You put down the tally sheet and gape at him. “Really? That guy is your mentor?”

You supposed that Kuroo has the build. He’s tall and even with his suit on, you can tell that he has some muscles going on underneath it. Now that you think about it, he’s actually kinda good looking. It’s just that a lot of athletes are buff, tall, and good-looking too that you’re desensitized to it now.

“Yeah,” he responds. “I see. He’s asking me about the Frogs, something for his job I guess. I’ll meet with him right after I make sure all you guys are on the bus on the way back.”

You expect him to walk away and go to the restroom like he always does after a game, but he just stands in front of you saying nothing. “What?”

“You should ask to reschedule. It’s already late.”

You look at your phone to check the time and it really is late than the usual time the games end. The slot the team got was the last match for the day and the earlier games were delayed so the team finished at already 9.30 pm. “It’s fine. I don’t think it will take long anyways.”

He takes a few seconds before he answers. “Right,” then he walks away. You finish summarizing your tally sheet then gather the members of the frogs. You make sure everyone is on the bus before you take your leave and go back inside the gymnasium where you agreed to meet Kuroo.

You see him against the railing where you were watching from earlier. His elbows are leaning on the banister with his hands on his pockets as he grins at you who’s walking towards him.

“Shall we commence this professional get-together?”

“Yes, we shall. Would you prefer going somewhere else?” he smiles as he asks.

“I’m all set here if it’s purely Frogs’ information you’re after,” you answer craftily, attempting to make him admit that there’s another kind of business he’s going for.

“Here it is then,” he responds with a grin, resolute in his stance that he’s not going to ask you out tonight. He clears his throat and stands up straight, his deviousness gone as he starts asking questions.

Damn, you were mistaken about this guy. He was just toying around with you earlier but really had no plans to ask you out. He must be like you who just likes to mess with people every once in a while. You probably came off cocky to him this morning.

More than being embarrassed, you’re amused. He’s actually interesting.

“That’s that, y/n. Thanks for your cooperation on this one,” he says politely.

“No worries. It’s part of my job.”

“Do you have a card so I can get back to you if I need anything again?”

You get your cardholder from the pockets of your pants, but you don’t feel anything even as you reach even the deepest parts of them. You check the pockets of your jacket as well but it’s not there either.

You most likely left it at home.

“Uhhh. I don’t have it with me right now. You can just take my number,” you suggest.

He raises one brow quaintly but brushes it off immediately as he hands you his phone. You take his phone and as you’re about to enter your contact details, you suddenly feel uncanny with giving him your number this way.

You look at him and ask. “It’s the same thing, right?”

He frowns. “What is?”

“Putting my number like this on your phone and giving you my business card,” you answer.

He chuckles lowly and glances at you with a very amused grin. “For you sake, I’d say yes, they’re the same.”

You enter your contact number and hand it to him with a smile. When he gets it, he raises his brow and looks back at you. “Manager of Sendai Kermits?”

You nod. “That way we keep it professional.”

His grin spreads wider as he pockets his phone. No one would put that kind of name in their contact details and genuinely think it’s professional.

“I have to be honest, y/n. You’re making it really hard for me to keep it strictly that way.”

You feign innocence as you put a gentle hand on your chest. “Me? But I’m not doing anything.”

Right, and Volleyball is a sport played by monkeys in pink dresses. “Sure,” he agrees and lets it go before he does something out of line like asking you to have late dinner with him since the game ended late already. “We done?” you ask.

“Yeah. Sorry, I took longer than I expected,” he apologizes. At times, he’d get drawn in with how you speak and how entertaining you look while doing so that he got distracted. “How are you going to get home by the way? It’s late already.” If you’d ask him, he can take you home. Though he highly doubts you’d ask that of someone who’s practically a stranger.

“I think I can still catch the bus,” you casually respond.

“I can walk you to the bus stop if you don’t mind,” he discreetly offers, making sure that you’re comfortable with the idea.

“Hmm,” you ponder. Unlike the girls who he has gone out with, he can tell you’re not playing hard to get by delaying your answer. You’re really deciding on whether you’d let him extend what little time more there is to enjoy your company.

You grin at him genuinely, none of your pretentious facade whatsoever. “Alright!” you stand up and don't wait for him as you start walking already.

He shakes his head then easily catches up and walks beside you.

“How long have you been a manager?” It wasn’t a question to start a small talk. He’s seriously curious how long you have been doing this. He only got the promotion recently so he does not know most people aside from his friends and acquaintances from his Volleyball time in high school. Previously, he only had to work at the office. He’s establishing his own connections only now.

“Three years and counting,” you respond with your eyes straight ahead.

You’re a year ahead of him in this industry then. He got his job at the VBA two years ago. “Three years, huh? Isn’t that when Tsukishima joined the team as well?”

“You’re really that close with him, huh?” You remark with intrigue as you two continue walking towards the exit.

“Taught the boy everything he knows about blocking,” he comments with a grin even though you’re not looking.

Your rich laughter fills the empty hallway as you finally glance his way. “Why do you sound like a 40-year old man?”

“What can I say? I’m full of wisdom,” he counters immediately, causing you to raise an eyebrow to go with your amused smile.

“Forgive me, Mr. Promoter, but I have to say you're full of shit.”

He cackles uninhibitedly from your sharp-witted retort. He knows you have one hell of a personality based on the little interaction you had when he first met you, but you’re proving yourself to be a whole lot more than what he anticipated.

“Am I that easy to read?” He asks with traces of his laughter still in his voice. You scrunch your nose quickly before smiling prettily at him. “I’m afraid so.”

As you two are about to reach the exit, he decides to just go for it. You’re getting more interesting and more interesting as he talks with you and there’s not really a rule that he’s not allowed to date people from the professional teams.

Since the meeting is done, this right now is technically not part of his job anymore. He’s doing it to spend more time with you.

“Actually, y/n. I have my car parked outside. If you don’t mind, I can drive you home instead,” he offers more at ease this time.

He seems like a legitimately good person who can grasp your sense of humor and hold a fun conversation. Most importantly, you somehow feel comfortable around him. Besides, it would be nice if you don’t have to take the bus or hail a cab to go home.

So you don’t take too long to decide. “Su-”

“Hey.” Someone cuts you off as you reach the outside of the Sendai Gymnasium. You look at your left where the familiar voice came from and see your favorite middle blocker. He’s still wearing the Sendai Frogs’ jacket, but now has pants on instead of their official shorts.

“Hey,” you respond with a puzzled look as to why he’s still there when you clearly remember he was seated at the back of the bus before you stepped out of it.

“Tsukishima,” Kuroo acknowledges his presence cordially with a grin.

Tsukki bows a bit to the promoter with an impassive expression, then looks at you again but doesn’t really say anything..

“What are you doing here?” you ask since he doesn’t look like he’s going to explain on his own.

He doesn’t answer and remains silent with his eyes glued on you. Your brows furrow a bit as you ask again. “I said what are you-”

“Coach asked me to wait for you.”

You blink at him several times while holding his gaze. You look down for one quick second then turn to Kuroo with a huge, dumb smile on your face. “I’d have to pass tonight, Kuroo. Coach might worry if I don’t go with him,” you point to Tsukishima as you say it.

Kuroo notices how you smile differently, more earnestly, with Tsukishima’s presence. He turns his attention to Tsukishima whose eyes are still on you despite the blank expression on the blonde’s face.

Tsukishima said he’s there because their Coach said so but Kuroo doesn’t buy it one bit. He can’t imagine Tsukishima willingly abiding the Coach’s orders to play nanny for you. Unless Tsukishima himself wants to do so.

Kuroo knows that you and Tsukishima are not dating. If you were, you wouldn’t be so surprised that he’s here waiting for you. But that gives Kuroo confirmation that something is going on with you two.

He looks back at you and returns the smile. “No worries. Maybe next time?” He asks casually albeit the meaning behind that laid-back question.

“Maybe,” you giggle softly as you answer. “I’ll see you around, Kuroo.” You give him a brief wave then head to Tsukishima’s side. The blonde, on the other hand, gives him a quick nod and bids him, “Good evening, Kuroo-san.”

You turn to him as well, “Good night!” Then pour your whole attention to the other guy beside you as you two walk away from him.

He remains where he is and watches your animated expression from afar. He really likes you. It’s too bad you like someone else though.

When you two are out of his sight, he walks to where he parked his car.

“So, Tsukki,” you grin at him. “Coach really is that concerned about me that she asked you to.. wait for me?” you ask with your tone dripping with amusement because you know that Coach will never ask that of someone, especially him. Coach Mira thinks he despises you and even if he doesn’t, she still wouldn’t. Coach Mira knows you can take care of yourself.

“Shut up,” he says lowly, but nothing more. You’re expecting a snide response but it doesn’t come.

“As thanks for last time, I’ll take you to your dorm,” he says with his eyes straight ahead.

You keep your gaze on him for a few more seconds then turn to the same direction he’s looking at. He never did thank you for it, but it’s not like you were expecting him to. You helped him get home out of concern both as his manager and his partner in class.

You didn’t expect that he’d still be thinking about it even after a week. Although, it makes sense that he does. Obviously, he’s never been in that state wherein he needed help getting home. He probably feels like he’s indebted or something.

Tsukishima glances briefly at how you’re still smiling even when you’re not talking. Earlier, he was battling himself on why he got off the bus and chose to wait for you. Sure, it’s pretty late, but it’s not like you can’t go home on your own. If he’d be honest, until now, he still doesn’t know why he chose to get left behind and stand outside for who knows how long.

But seeing you as you are now, he knows he made the right decision to stay.

---

The timetable you planned for you and Tsukishima has long been messed up. You were supposed to finish this project a month ago. But a lot of things happened during your private meetings that you lost track of how you’re progressing along.

It isn’t only until that afternoon where you receive the last write up you need from Tsukishima for the project that you’re made aware that today is your last day together.

After you get the notification in your email, he glanced your way.

“What else do you need?” he asks.

You try to think of what else he can contribute, but you come up with nothing. Everything is set. You’re just restructuring your output as a whole so it’s coherent.

“Um. Nothing. We’re all good now,” you announce blandly instead of rejoicing that it will finally be over today.

You look at Tsukishima and find him looking at your screen. “Let me look at it,” he says to verify if it is as good as you say it is.

You slide a bit to your right so he can check the document himself. He skids in front of your laptop and scans the draft of the document you put up, checking for any possible room for improvement.

But you really are exceptional in organizing reports. It’s as cohesive as it can be, which ultimately is good news for you and for him. The project will be done by tonight. “It is all good now,” he confirms.

When he glances back at you, you two share the same look - dismal. He knows that the project will end, even the semester is coming to a close soon. But he did not anticipate that your last meeting is today.

“Alright,” you break the uneasy air as you swat your hand to shoo him away. “Let me work this through so we can completely finish it.”

He’s not certain whether you’re asking him to leave already since he’s done his part or you’re just making him go back to his own laptop. Not wanting to embarrass himself, he asks, “Should I pack up and leave now?”

You narrow your eyes with displeasure. “Of course not. You’ll stay here until I finish the damn thing, Tsukishima. Don’t think I’ll let you off the hook that easily.”

He doesn’t complain and remains impassive as you watch him return to his seat. He fights off the grin that was threatening to surface on his lips while he starts doing his requirements for another class.

When you see him comply, you return your attention to wrapping up the project. The truth is you can send him home already. You don’t need his presence to finish the report. You just want to keep him longer, one or two more hours will do.

Then you longer have any reason to meet with him outside training hours. You’ll finally stop your private meetings along with your clandestine kisses.

You’ll be back to being solely his manager.

Even though you still have a lot of things to do for another subject, you take your sweet time with what you’re doing. You start typing like an old man whose reading glasses no longer work. Then after you’re done, you conduct a spell check which you normally don’t do because you correct typos as you go along, not after the output is done.

After an hour of dilly dallying around trying to clean the already clean word file, you reckon it’s time to let it go.

You look at Tsukishima and softly call his name, “Tsukki.”

He stops typing and faces you. “Done?”

You nod with a faint smile. “Yeah, we’re done.” Done with the project and done with whatever you two had.

“I already sent it to our professor as well,” you add.

“I see.” He packs up quietly then stands up to leave. You stand up as well and open the door for him. You stopped opening the door for him when he leaves, but since this is the last, you thought it was fitting that you send him out.

“Tsukishima.”

He pauses as you say his name, turning his head to face you and waits for what you’re going to say. You don’t really have anything to say though. You just stare at him. And he stares right back, his gaze studying your face carefully until it lands on your mouth. That’s when you figure out why you stopped him from leaving.

You want a last kiss.

When you started your agreement, you’ve never been afraid or shy to go for a kiss. Only now.

“What is it, y/n?” he asks calmly even though his eyes are on your lips. You know he wants the same despite the apathetic demeanor. If not, he wouldn’t be looking at you as he is right now.

Yet you don’t want to initiate.

Obviously, neither does he.

It’s kind of stupid. After the countless kisses, none of you moves to instigate the last one.

You don’t know how long you stare into each other, but since this seems to be going nowhere, you decided to just leave it as is.

“Good night. I’ll see you in training,” you say instead.

He seems to have recovered from his own daze as well when he responds with a dry, “Right,” before stepping out of your room.

You close the door behind him with a certain gloom you can’t make sense of. Months ago, you two wanted nothing more than to finish this project. Now that you’re finally free of each other, you feel... sad?

Ridiculous.

You shake it off and get back to what you’re supposed to be doing. You and Tsukishima had good teamwork. Although he has some rude comments here and there, they usually have no bite to them. Other than that, he was easy to work and hang around with. The liplocking was just a fun perk. Nothing more, nothing less.

You enter the gym and find that not much of the team is there yet. It’s Kogane, Tsukishima, Eiji, and Coach who’s only there.

You put your bag in one of the benches and get your report on the previous match of the team. You walk towards Coach Mira and hand it to her. “Thanks, y/n,” she says with a pleasant smile she doesn’t show to anyone else from the team. “Can you set up the other net?” She asks while going over the report you gave her.

“Yes, Coach,” you answer agreeably then head to the other side of the court. You pull up a stool chair and stand on it as you tie the net to the pole.

“Y/n.”

You’re startled by Tsukishima’s voice behind you that the chair along with your ankles shake when you flinch. You try to grab the pole to steady yourself but you can’t reach it anymore.

“Shit!” You curse beneath your breath and just accept you’ll flat on your butt. But instead of falling, you feel a pair of huge hands on your waist that thwarts your ass kissing the floor.

“What are you doing?” You hear Tsukishima ask impertinently as he gently eases you back on the chair. “Do you need help getting down?” he follows up with his hands still on your waist.

You turn around carefully and place your hands on his shoulders to support yourself as you jump down on your own. You grin at him which is probably why he takes his hands off you. You turn around to tighten the bottom part of the net.

“Did you need something?” You ask as you continue tying the knot. You finish what you’re supposed to do and he still hasn’t answered so you face him again.

“What’s up, Tsukki?” You’re a bit confused why he’s silent when he’s the one who came up to you.

“Can you tape my fingers?”

The situation reverses and now, you’re the one who’s not responding. Three years as their manager and he’s never asked for help taping his finger.

“Uhh. Sure. Do you have your bandage with you?”

He gets it from the right pocket of his jacket and gives it to you. You get it and take his right hand to tape it first. Even though this is the first time he’s asked you to do it, you’ve done it before with Coach’s orders. Every single time you do, he has a disgruntled look on his face as he does his best for his eyes not to land on any part of your face.

But now, you can feel him staring at you while you work on his fingers.

“Something on my face, Tsukishima?” You ask teasingly.

“Yeah. You still have coffee on your chin,” he answers seriously.

You stop abruptly and shove the bandage on his palm to hastily wipe your chin. “Is it still there?” You look up to him as you ask.

He presses his lips together before he looks to the side. However, you catch the sligh tug in the corner of his mouth prior to turning away.

“What? Did I not get it?” You ask a bit worriedly as you try to remember the people you greeted on your way here. You beamed cheerfully at them and all this time, you had a smidge of coffee on your chin.

His shoulders start shaking and you can hear his suppressed laughter as he’s turned away from you.

You narrow your eyes at him and cross your arms. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?”

He returns his gaze at you with an entertained smirk. “If you stopped drinking coffee like it’s water then maybe you wouldn’t fall for such a simple ploy.”

You give him a sarcastic smile as you yank his hand to continue taping him. “Real mature, Tsukishima,” you remark dryly.

“You’re one to talk,” he instantly counters.

You snort and shake your head amusedly. In the past, you’d think it’s an insult, but at present, you can tell that it’s just benign banter.

While you tape his hands, there’s comfortable silence between you two that you only feel when you’re seated beside each other when you’re doing the project. You didn’t expect you’d feel it again even when you’re in the gym with other people around.

You’re almost done with his left hand when you hear Coach Mira call you. “Coming, Coach!” you yell from where you are and finish the tape on his middle finger.

“And it’s done,” you grin briefly at him then turn to where Coach is.

Before you go, you hear him utter a low, “Thanks.”

A faint smile forms on your face as you saunter back to Coach. When you reach her, she frowns a bit at you.

Your smile disappears, thinking that you made some error that Coach caught after you submitted it to her. “What’s wrong, Coach? Is something off with the report?” You ask a bit troubled.

“No. It’s perfect as usual,” she remarks commendably.

You ease up knowing that your write up is still quintessential. “What else can I do to help?” Since there’s nothing wrong with the report, she must need help for another task.

“Actually, I wanted to ask if you’re dating Tsukishima.”

Now you wish there’s something wrong with the file you submitted instead. You’d prefer that than having Coach suspect there’s something like that between you and Tsukishima.

Nothing’s going on with you two except for the project you had together. Usually, you don’t give a shit what other people think of you. But not Coach. You don’t feel comfortable that she is dubious of your relationship with the blonde middle blocker.

“What made you ask, Coach?” you ask, wondering where she got the idea.

“You two seem more.. I don’t know,” she struggles for the next words while you wait anxiously for it. “more at ease with each other now,” she continues.

You feign a laugh and respond casually. “I’m just messing with him as usual,” you lie because it’s the other way around.

Coach glances back at Tsukishima then at you. “He looks like he’s enjoying it this time though. He’s even staring at you when I called you here.”

You turn your head his way and see him practicing his serve already. You face Coach again and smile bemusedly. “I wonder why.” You really have no idea why he was staring.

Coach studies your face for a few seconds then shrugs. “Alright. I’ll let you get back to work instead of being a nosy middle-aged woman,” she smiles at you then returns to the report you gave her.

You nod politely then turn around to go to the stockroom. When you’re almost there, you glance discreetly to Tsukishima and reflect on Coach Mira’s suspicion.

Does it really seem like you have that relationship with him?

You thought of doing your uni requirements in the library today for a new work setting. As you’re approaching the entrance of the library, you open your bag to get your ID.

Several minutes of rummaging your bag and you still can’t find it.

Shit! Did you lose it?

The last time you actually saw it when you used it to enter the bar. Did you drop it from your pocket? But you put it in your back pocket so you won’t accidentally lose it when you get your phone.

You close your bag and try to remember the whole night. Who were the people you talked to?

A lot. You talked to a lot of people but you really had no reason to take your ID out.

You can only think of two possible ways you lost it. First was in the cab with Tsukishima. You shifted too much on your seat that it may have slid out of your back pocket. Second would be in their restroom where you changed clothes.

You get your phone and text Tsukishima.

‘Tsukki! By any chance, did I leave my id there or sumthin? >_<’

Tsukishima hears his message tone as he descends their stairs. He waits until he reaches their couch and then opens his phone to read the message.

ID? Did you lose it?

Even if you did, you shouldn’t be too worried since it’s almost graduation. You won’t need it anymore.

He types in his reply.

‘Why bother finding it? You won’t need it soon.’

“Kei.”

He lifts his gaze from his phone before sending it when he hears his brother’s voice. “What is it?” he asks.

Akiteru sits on the other couch adjacent to the one he’s sitting on. “Any plans after graduation?”

He’d feel pressured and irritated from the question if it was asked by someone else. “I have an interview at the Sendai Museum next week,” he answers blankly despite feeling a bit certain of applying for the post.

“I didn’t know you were already looking for a job. That’s great though!” Akiteru comments brightly.

“Yeah,” he answers lowly then looks down on his phone again. “Alright, then. I was just curious.” His brother smiles caringly then stands up.

“Nii-san,” he calls before Akiteru leaves the room.

“Yes?” His brother looks at him still smiling.

“Did you see an ID that’s not mine around?” he asks ambiguously because he doesn’t want to mention your name on the high chance that Akiteru hadn’t seen it. His older brother has bugged him about it non-stop after you took him home last week. He doesn’t want to remind Akiteru about it unnecessarily.

“Silly me! I forgot to tell you. The other day, mom saw y/n’s university ID in the washing machine when she was hanging clothes. She gave it to me because you were still not home then. I’ll give it to you in your room later,” Akiteru grins widely then waves at him before heading up the stairs.

He’s relieved that he heard no more than that. He was honestly expecting more teasing, but fortunately, his brother seems to have toned it down now.

He gets to his phone again and types instead.

‘Yeah. It’s here.’

Not more than a minute later, he receives your response already.

‘Can u bring it in class or training? :D’

He easily types ‘Okay’ since it’s just a small favor. Then when he’s about to send it, his thumb hovers above the send button.

He deletes it and sends a different reply.

‘No.’

You frown when you read his response. You thought he’s somehow warmed up at you already but seems like he’s back to being a salty ass. It’s just an ID. It weighs like nothing and can fit in his pocket. What’s the deal?

You’re drafting your reply when he sends another text message.

You quickly tap the notification that briefly flashed on top of your screen and raise your brows when you completely read it.

‘Get it yourself. It’s in my room.’

After a few seconds, you shake your head and chuckle at what he meant with his superficially rude message.

Tsukishima, you smooth tsundere bastard.

Part 7 || Part 9 || masterlist

Taglist (those crossed out can’t be tagged)

@ameliaxo @suikrem @akaashisslave @tsumurai @loving-unicorns106 @flairlust @geektastic84 @anaiss97 @berna-dette @just4readingfics @suteorra @xxekitten69xx @simp4tsukkii @music-is-all-i-need @keshinslittlegirl @raspberrysunshinebby @iminlovewhaikyuu @pdiddy11 @lightyagamami @sailorscout1902 @lovershaikyuu @expectonothinfromme @finnydraws @namelessidentity @hqbeesun @yatoatyourservice @mrkozume @suzuyamitsuki @celestialarchiveshq @yongboxerrr @gomenpudding @kutiekoge @fizzfrick @flamingosis @korean-bbq @ihaterainbowsprinkles @red-lint @backtonormalthings @borpcorp @lonelyheartxn @venomouscreatures @lucyrocks86 @shawtiie @honestlysora @sunanyaa @my-dream-universe

#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima smut #tsukishima angst #haikyuu x reader

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thefanficmonster · 3 years ago

Text

There You Are

PART 2: ‘Finally, You’re Back’

Karl Heisenberg x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Mild spoilers for Resident Evil 8:Village, Swearing

Genre: Romance, Mild Angst

Summary: It’s the life before the nightmare. It’s the breath of fresh air before the pollution. The sunshine before the storm. And there they are, standing in the warmth of a sunny spring day in that Romanian village, their meeting coincidental yet fated at the same time.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! I’m sorry for the long wait but here it finally is - you request turned into a fic! Also, big thanks to that other Anon who gave me the idea of modifying the fic in a way where it’s now gonna be a two-parter, a sort of the before the nightmare and the aftermath of Heisenberg’s turning. Regardless, I hope you enjoy the read. Love, Vy ❤

Because one is incapable of expecting the unexpected One can never see what the future may hold One can never know what storms await One can never fully prepare And neither did he Because he could’ve never guessed Never known He could only see so far ahead He could only plan so much Yet he always thought he’d run free Let the winds and rivers guide him forward Never did he think his fate would uproot him into a nightmare He had no idea what to expect He had no idea he’d never be the same again Hell, to him it was the first and last time But to his hope it was a lightning spark Praying for more Regardless, in that moment When eyes met eyes, all he could think was... ‘There you are’

And there they were, standing in the almost completely melted snow on the outskirts of the Romanian village, the shy sun rays shimmering on their skin, making their hair glow. Their gaze gave away nothing yet so much simultaneously. Their crystal, shining yet still tired orbs were busy taking in their surroundings, their back turned to him. They didn’t have to face him for him to be able to guess they weren’t from around here. Truth be told, there were several clues that let him know: the clothes, the shoes, the sun-kissed skin - which there’s no way they could’ve obtained from the gloomy sunless winter in the village- but most important, the dead giveaway was the huge rucksack burdening their back and shoulders.

‘A traveler‘, he thought, ‘They’re probably lost. There’s no way they landed in this shithole on purpose.‘

The contemplation of whether to address them or not ends shortly and not really willingly - it mostly has to do with the fact that his thoughts were momentarily shut up when the traveler’s eyes met his.

Even with the amount of distance between them, something in those E/C pools glinting in the faint sunlight while also reflecting the brightness of the last remaining snow on the ground stole his breath away and paralyzed him. He was rendered helpless and unmoving from simple eye contact with this stranger.

But they weren’t done surprising him with the overwhelming power they unknowingly possessed.

They, out of the blue, shot him a smile that could only be described as blinding. One that sent his heart racing, eyes widening ever so slightly with disbelief. He was rarely offered such a kind reaction upon being seen by someone. A smile - not a mocking or menacing one - was an expression he rarely saw directed towards him.

‘They don’t know you, idiot!‘ He scolds himself mentally, ‘They don’t know what kind of lowlife piece of shit you are.‘

Yeah, they don’t. And they’re never gonna find out

He was willing to pull every lie from the book to keep his miserable life as a nearly homeless, poorly treated worker of three jobs hidden from this stranger. He didn’t want to see pity in those eyes nor sympathy in their smile.

He didn’t want things to change. Though, he simultaneously didn’t know what ‘things’ he didn’t want changed.

And so, he decided to create some, knowing full-well they would be temporary.

“Need any help? You lost or something?“ He calls out to them as he makes his way down from the cliff and into the large field where they’re standing.

They shake their head in response, loose strands of hair forming a curtain over their features as they do so, their smile never fading, “Nope, not at all. I’m exactly where I wanna be.”

“What could you possibly wanna see here?“ He asks, now without having to belch his lungs out due to the smaller distance between them.

They turn away from him, pointing to the monstrosity of a building he’s more than familiar with, towering over the village and dominating the outskirts. Having been abandoned for years now, the factory has become a home for rats, roaches, bats and Karl Heisenberg. The young man runs the risk of having it all crumble atop him while he sleeps the three hours he’s allowed each night. He’s not usually embarrassed by this fact but he doesn’t proudly announce it either. Sure, some people who pick on him and are determined to make his life a living hell have spread rumors about his place of stay but no one dares go into the factory to fact-check. It’s menacing exterior looking to be straight from a horror movie or a nightmare is more than enough to drive any person away, but the haunting noises the place harbors accompanied by the many creatures that produce said noises just add to the fear factor among the villagers when it comes to the century old structure.

“That.“ The traveler says, looking almost dreamily at the building so many people turn to with disgust and fear. “Would it be trespassing to enter? I really wanna have a look inside.“

Forgetting to mask his confused and surprised expression, Karl is caught with that wide-eyed, mouth-slightly-agape look on his face which sends the traveler in a fit of laughter.

“I know I probably sound crazy saying that, but abandoned places are sort of my thing, you know. I can’t simply pass by one without going in and doing a literal scavenger hunt. Not that I ever find much apart from graffiti and crap all over the place, but it’s worth having a look. Especially inside a place that looks that old. And man is it huge.“ No, his assumption was right the first time - their eyes do indeed get dreamy when they turn to observe the giant structure further down the overgrown path.

Who gives him the right to tell them no?

“Lucky I found you then.“ He says, shedding every last bit of confusion and replacing it with enthusiasm, a wide smile plastered on his face, “Follow me, I know all the entrances.“

He needn’t tell them twice. Hell, he barely had to finish his sentence before they literally took flight as they rushed - as much as they could with the heavy backpack they were carrying - towards the factory, taking his hand to drag him along, never stopping their river of gratitude the whole way there.

It awoke something in him, something warm and genuine that made him want to get to know this sunshine in human form better. He hasn’t had a chance to smile plenty in his life, never having a reason to do so. But during this less than five minute interaction, he hasn’t been able to contain the grin brought upon him as a side effect of their own happiness.

“I’m Karl, by the way!“ He informed them as they stomped their way up the path.

“Nice to meet you, Karl!“ They called back, giving him a brief glance over their shoulder, “My name’s Y/N.“

‘Y/N‘ the name echoed and repeated itself in his head, intensifying that feeling dangerously close to adoration.

“Nice to meet you too, Y/N.“

* * *

Dust and dirt had stuck to their clothes, practically merging with the textile by the time the pair left the factory to see the setting sun once again. The darkness and dinginess of the factory periodically made them forget how beautiful the outside world was. The place was filthy but what Y/N didn’t know is that it had been in a worse state before. Before Karl started staying there.

The young man always had a fascination with mechanical engineering, having met many workers who worked in the factory prior to its closing. They often times snuck him in so he could admire the work process the different types of machinery they had in there - many of which still remained in the factory covered in rust and spiderwebs. That being said, he took it upon himself to clean up a bit, treat the powerful mechanical giants with the respect and decency a machine of their kind deserved. Some he even miraculously repaired - probably the biggest achievement in his life - but he was yet to put them to good use, given that he still didn’t know how to properly operate them and what their true purpose was.

“That was incredible!“ Y/N cheered once the two had stepped onto the grass outside in the field again, “I can’t believe I almost started debating whether to go or not after so many of the villagers tried to scare me.“ They turned to give the factory one more lingering look, “Damn, I wish I could go back in there again to see if we missed anything. Unfortunately, my time’s limited.“ They sigh, checking their wristwatch before sparing the setting sun a look as well. “And it’s almost up.“

The knot that suddenly appeared in Karl’s throat made him choke on the oxygen he had inhaled. The worry of what those words of Y/N’s meant made his stomach turn.

But, before he could ask what they meant, they gave him an apologetic smile, their eyes still shining, but saddened now, “I have to get going. I have a different destination I need to reach by dawn.“ They sighed heavily, looking down at their boots. Karl opened his mouth to say something, but he found himself to be at a loss for words. He felt hollow and empty and couldn’t bring himself to stomach what he had been told. However, Y/N once again beat him to the opportunity of saying something. Their head snapped back up, their eyes meeting his, now glimmering with the glow he had grown to think of as familiar at that point. “However, that doesn’t mean I won’t be back.“ They took him by the wrist and brought his hand up, opening his clenched palm to drop a small chain in it. “Growing up, I was taught to not expect people to return things you give them but to go and take them back yourself. And so, Karl, I’m giving you this necklace and promising I’ll be back to retrieve it.“ They closes his palm again, letting his arm fall by his side. While he still had only processed half of all that happened when they spoke up again, “Ok, so now I ask of you to stay here, not see me off, not follow me, just stand right here. Or you can turn around and walk away too, that’d be even better. Can you do that for me?” They asked, cringing suddenly, “Sorry, I’m bad at goodbyes.“

He faintly nodded, unable to get any words out yet again. That was probably a good thing, cause there was a huge risk that he would’ve asked them to stay if he spoke.

Taking his nod as a positive response, they gave him a quick peck on the cheek before turning around and walking off in the direction they came from earlier, leaving him behind. Karl wanted to force himself to walk in the opposite direction like they had told him to, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off them. He stood there, heart aching, watching them go. All the while squeezing the dog tag necklace tightly in his hand. The physical proof of the person that reminded him how it felt to feel.

The physical proof of the promise that they’d come back.

They’d come back to him.

He’d see them.

And he’d once again think to himself...

There you are, finally, you’re back

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21st-century-ninja · 3 years ago

Text

Lloyd Garmadon: fave or knave?

(yes I know that title is terrible just roll with it jasdk;flgh;)

So a little while ago, I took a small poll of 55 people in the fandom, asking them a couple of questions about our favorite green bean. The biggest question: is Lloyd even “our favorite” at all? And if he is, how long has he been the favorite of the fandom? From the very start, or did something change along the way?

If you’re curious to any of these answers, then read on for more! Disclaimer: I’ve literally never taken a stat class in my life so lmk if any of this is egregiously wrong :D

To start our discussion off, let’s look at where Lloyd ranks for folks across the board.

The results show that 45.5% (25 people) of the poll takers put Lloyd as their favorite ninja. 21.8% (12 people) place him in second place, followed by 14.5% (8 people) with him in third. 4 people each put him in fourth and fifth place, and 2 people place him in last.

What do these results show? Over two-thirds of the poll takers rank Lloyd as either their first or second favorite ninja. Of course, this could be test taker bias, as it’s likely that people who like Lloyd are more likely to participate in a survey about him. But from my experience in the fandom, these numbers seem accurate, or at least accurate enough for the purposes of this poll. I will be using this first-and-second place statistic throughout the rest of the evaluations.

The next question that I asked people was whether or not their opinions of Lloyd had shifted over time, and if so, when?

According to the results, the amount of people who rank him higher now and the amount of people who have kept him in the same place is near even: 41.8% to 40%. Of the 22 people who responded that they ranked him higher, 13 of them said it was during the Oni trilogy.

This was both surprising and unsurprising for me to learn. Surprising, because pre-s8 ninjago fandom was very wary/even opposed to the new seasons because of the new designs, changed voice actor, and different tone, among other things. Unsurprising, because looking back, that’s when my ranking of Lloyd shifted too. Apparently, my experience is not unique among the fandom.

The next 2 questions on the poll go hand in hand. I asked for the poll takers’ first ninjago season, as well as whether or not their first experience with Ninjago was with the movie. My hypothesis was that people who started with the movie or ns8+ would rank Lloyd higher on average than people who didn’t.

Therefore, the results were fascinating to me. People who started with the movie were exactly as likely to have Lloyd as their favorite (top 2) as people who didn’t! Therefore, the movie had little impact, at least directly, on how people rank Lloyd. Of the three people who watched s8 as their first ninjago season, only one ranked him in their top 2, making this point moot as well.

The last question on this poll had to do with age. Specifically, what age were you when you started watching Ninjago? My hypothesis for this one was that people who started the series young, pre-ten through twelve year olds, would be more likely to rank Lloyd as favorite (top 2). I thought that younger viewers would be more likely to see themselves in Lloyd and sympathize with him more.

And like the movie results, age also seems to have little bearing on a person’s opinion of Lloyd. 44% of that “under 10-12″ age range ranked Lloyd in their top 2, but 42% of all the other age groups put together also had him there.

There are more conclusions that could be made from this data, but I am too tired and not smart enough to do it XD. If anyone would like, here’s the sheets link with all the data for your viewing pleasure. I’ll wrap this up with the most important statistic.

#ninjago #tlnm #polls #survey #ninjago lloyd #lloyd #lloyd garmadon #lloyd montgomery garmadon #lloyd montgomery garmadon smith walker brookstone julien

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago

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𝑵𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒂𝒊𝒏 (𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒊) 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢 (𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳)× 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞)

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.4K

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐇𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐨. 𝐇𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞. 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐡𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐩𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 (𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞), 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢- 𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.

𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧- 𝐆𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐍' 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬/ 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲- 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @little-precious-baby @yunhoiseyecandy @yunhofingers @brie02 @deja-vux @rvse-miingi @multidreams-and-desires @galaxteez

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Waving enthusiastically at the crowd cheering loudly at the end of their performance, Mingi's eyes were scanning each and every one of the sections in the auditorium. To anyone it would seem as though he was making sure to shine his beautiful and radiant smile to all the adoring fans that came to watch and support him and his members, and yes that was partly why. But it wasn't just that. He had hope as he scanned every face in there. Hope of once again seeing her again. He could hear his own heartbeat pump against his ears, the sound drowning out all the chanting coming from the thousands of fans gathered in there.

Sensing what was going on, one of his members couldn't help but let out a sigh. Leaning in close enough so he could hear him, he whispered in his ear.

"She's not here Mingi."

He expected such words from his best friend, who although with good intentions, seemed to try to ground him back down to earth and inadvertently crush his hopes. But he never took it personally. He knew Yunho was only trying to look out for him and spare him more heartache. Nudging him slightly, the equally tall male swung an arm around Mingi's broad shoulders, plastering on a smile out to the crowd once more as he led them backstage as slowly the members started to walk off the stage as scheduled. Accepting that the night was over, Mingi pulled his face away from the crowd and began walking away. He would have ultimately called it another uneventful concert that ended the same way and just go back to change into his normal clothes and then join the rest of the group back at the hotel to lounge and rest.

But he felt a something strange, pulling and beckoning him to look back at the scatter of people behind him once more. Slowly, he tried his head, unsure of where to look exactly, eyes wandering around aimlessly. Until they spotted what he believed to be a familiar red scarf wrapped around a person's neck, effectively covering up the bottom half of their face while their head had a matching beret that covered their forehead entirely. Although he couldn't see much other than their body frame, he felt his heart swell up, legs unable to move as he stared at the figure. Yunho stopped when he felt Mingi no longer walking behind him. Walking back to him, he put on a smile so as to not act suspicious and began pulling him away.

"Mingi..we have to go."

But Mingi stayed grounded, still scanning the figure he had locked his eyes on. The person began walking away, almost as if they didn't even acknowledge him.

"Wait hold on-"

Just as he was about to run off the stage and follow them, Yunho harshly tugged on his arm and fiercely guided him backstage, waving out towards the people still watching them so as to not arouse suspicion or have them think something was wrong.

"Mingi, it's not her. You always swear it is but it's not."

Yunho didn't mean to sound so aggressive towards his long life friend, but he cared about him too much and didn't want him getting false illusions that would only end up in him getting more hurt than what he already was.

"I know but it's different! Yunho she was wearing the scarf I gave her. I know it was it!" He insisted, anxiously looking towards the door, debating whether or not he could make a dash and catch up to the individual.

Shaking his head, Yunho placed his hands on top of his friend's shoulders.

"Mingi.....there's a million red scarfs out there. And you were too far away. Honestly I think....."

He hesitated before speaking his next words, knowing how sensitive Mingi got with the topic.

"Forget about her."

As if on instinct, Mingi shook his head.

"No! I can't. I promised I'd wait for her and I'm not breaking my word. I'll stay faithful to it until she comes back."

"But what if she doesn't?! It's been over two years Mingi! Face the facts. She's not coming back. Y/N never loved-"

"Don't say that! She did- she does love me! I know she does!"

Yunho took a step back. Seeing Mingi become so agitated and frustrated like that truly terrified him. It was always dangerous to have him get mad or overly worked up. Sensing that he probably startled his friend a little too much, Mingi ran a hand over his dyed blonde hair, a despondent sigh coming out his mouth.

"Hey Yunho I'm sorry..... I think.... I need some air."

After changing into his normal clothes, Mingi didn't get in the van like most of the other guys who just wanted to go relax back at the hotel, nor did he follow Wooyoung or Hongjoong to go check out some of the nearby stores. He simply walked in the opposite direction, mindlessly strolling the streets of the unfamiliar city he was currently in. The slight rumbling of the skies and the subtle scent of dew signaled that it was more than likely going to start pouring rain soon. Even though he was wearing one of his long trenchcoat, the slight breeze that blew across sent tiny chills down his spine, nearly making his teeth chatter.

As if it were a beacon, Mingi stumbled across a small and cozy looking coffee shop. Making sure it was still open, he cheerfully greeted the sweet looking old woman behind the counter, who seemed to brighten up at seeing such a handsome young lad at such an hour. Very calmly and politely, he ordered just a simple caramel cappuccino, which the owner was delighted to whip up for him. Just as he took out his wallet to pay, he had a weird inkling feeling for some reason.

"Uh..... do you perhaps sell hot cocoa?" He inquired nervously.

After getting confirmation that they indeed made hot chocolate, Mingi asked if there was any possible way they could add peppermint to it. He could already feel the judgmental stare about to be given to him as most baristas did with such an unpopular request. Although she seemed surprised by the special addition of peppermint, she didn't hesitate to assure him she'd definitely make it as he liked. Mingi felt so grateful to the kind lady, making sure to leave her a generous tip before taking both of his drinks and going back outside.

Spotting a nearby gazebo, Mingi went over and sat down on one of the benches that were placed underneath the roof of it. Setting the hot mint chocolate down next to him, he sipped his cappuccino slowly, being careful not to burn his tongue on the scorching hot liquid. It had the perfect amount of foam in it, with not too much caramel added in it so the strong espresso could still be made out. Wiping off some of the froth that accidentally got on the tip of his nose, he peered down at the untouched drink next to him. Chuckling dryly to himself, he picked up the cup and scanned it with deep curiosity.

"You always were so different and unique." He mused to himself.

Putting it back down, he began to think it was absolutely silly to have bought it just because of some momentary whim he felt back in the coffee shop.

Or was it nostalgia?

Mingi began to believe it was the latter, especially considering what month it was. After all, it was during this exact same time 2 years ago, on a cold and gloomy November where everything started...

Or perhaps ended?

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Exhausted panting came from all 8 of the sweaty bodies of the males in the room, about half of them were already reaching for their water bottles to gulp down the contents before proceeding to try catching their breath once more. The strict yet kind eyes watching them announced they would be taking a break before saying they'd be rehearsing for another hour or two. Simultaneous groans and protests were elicited by the members, who were already tired from thinking about burning a few more calories with their intense dance sessions.

"Looks like I'm missing the new episode of aot." San dramatically layed on the floor, arms sprawled out.

"I'm calling first dibs on the shower when we get back." Seonghwa declared, not afraid of using his status as the oldest member if it meant getting himself cleaned.

"Aww Hyung! You take showers that are way too long! You'll finish all the hot water like last time." Woow already began nagging, which in turn started another argument between his both of them, with San and Yunho joining in to offer backup if necessary.

Ignoring their pointless bantering, Mingi took the time to call up his girlfriend to let her know. It took quite some time for her to pick up his call, it had actually become a rather recent and constant habit of hers, contrary to before when she'd immediately answer on the second ring.

"What?" Her voice sounded somewhat annoyed and tired, which Mingi guessed had something to do with her work.

"Hey baby, looks like I'm going to be staying late at the company for practice. I'm sorry, I really wanted to spend time with you, but I'm not sure it's possible." He could feel his heart pounding as he began imagining her disappointed and disheartened look.

As expected, he heard her sigh through the other end, a brief pause where he only heard her breathing before she finally spoke up.

"That's fine. I'm going to be pulling extra hours today anyways so....don't be sorry. Maybe it works out in the end."

Mingi noticed how dry and monotone she sounded, as if it didn't really bother her that this would yet be another week where they hardly spoke and spent time together for more than 10 minutes.

"Oh ok....take care then, and remember to eat a snack in between hours ok? I don't want you starving yourself ok baby?"

The girl on the other end of the line didn't need to see him to know he was more than likely pouting at her as usual, always fussing to her about her health.

"Ok. Take care Mingi."

"Y/N!.............."

He bit his lip before saying the next words.

"I- I love you." Although he forced a smile on his face, his voice trembled with fear at saying that.

"I....I know. I gotta go."

Once more, she hung up without repeating those same words back to him. Mingi didn't understand why his girlfriend of forever seemed to be acting strange. Lately she hardly had anything to say, she looked less and less animated each time they video chatted, the dark circles under her eyes were becoming more prominent and judging by the way her cheeks looked a little sunken and clothes looked baggy on her, he fussed she was not eating properly.

But the thing that scared Mingi the most was seeing her soulless eyes. Those eyes that once held the entire stars in them, were now empty and completely void of any emotion. She never initiated any form of physical contact with him, it was always him pulling her into an embrace or placing a kiss on her head, nose or lips, and even when she reciprocated them, they were always cold and almost robotic.

It was starting to terrify him.

"Mingi!"

He nearly dropped his phone when the tiny leader called out to him.

"Break time is over. We gotta start again."

Putting his phone back in his bag he promised himself that even if he left at early dawn, he would go over and see his lover. He just had to.

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Letting out a long and exasperated sigh, Y/N kicked off her heels and left them on the front of the door, her toes aching after all the grueling and arduous hours of both sitting and running up and down floors. Her once neat bun now had various hairs poking out from several places and was now drooping lower than in the morning. She slumped her tired body over to her bedroom, ready to just indulge in a warm shower and then head to bed. But the last thing she expected to see when she turned on the light, was none other than her boyfriend.

"Hey." He waved his hand at her, a soft smile on his lips.

She was momentarily confused with his presence.

"I thought you had practice." She raised an eyebrow, her tone sounding more accusatory than with delight.

"I did...but then I came over here." He explained.

"Why?"

Mingi blinked at her question, stunned that she would even ask why. Getting up from the bed, he slowly walked over to her cautiously. Once he was right in front of her, he reached a hand out to caress her cheek.

"Why? I naturally wanted to see you.....hear you...touch you."

Arms wrapping around her waist, he lowered his face until he pressed a soft kiss to her mildly chapped lips. Although he felt her give in after a while, he could feel that her heart was not in it. Every brush of her lips felt extremely languid and emotionless, even after he had turned a little more desperate and began to trail messy kisses across her jaw, her hands did not move away from her sides, her head only tilting to allow him more access to her skin. Before he could move to pull off her shirt, she stopped him by gripping his wrists.

"If you don't mind I'd like to clean myself off first."

Not even giving him a chance to say anything, she pushed past him and made a beeline to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind her, she leaned her back on it, staring into the floor for a few minutes in a somewhat catatonic state. Taking a deep breath, she slowly removed each one of the articles of clothing on her body, all of them feeling like a heavy weight on her. Ripping the scrunchie off her hair, she tossed it onto the floor so it could join the pile that had already been made in a corner. Sliding the glass door open, she got inside the shower and quickly turned on the water, first the splashes coming out at an almost freezing temperature, which although her body shivered at, she did not shrink away from. Then the water finally adjusted to a more warm temperature, not too hot but warm enough to soothe her sore muscles.

Closing her eyes, she decided to simply bask in the warmth of the water coating her body, shutting off her mind from all the spiraling thoughts that had been clouding her mind for the past weeks, refusing to go away and seemingly taunting her at every hour when she least expected it. She hurt, she was in pain yet there were no physical evidence of it. She could barely eat more than 2 bites of any meal she intook because it suddenly felt too full. At nights, her eyes drooped heavy with sleep, yet her restless mind wouldn't allow her even one full hour of sweet slumber though that's all she wanted.....

She just wanted to fall asleep and hopefully never wake up so as to not feel the pain and emptiness she felt.

So lost was she in the moment that she failed to hear or notice the one individual coming in to join her until she felt familiar hands come to wrap themselves around her waist.

"It's all right love. It's just me." Mingi softly whispered when she gasped lightly at the sudden touch.

Letting her relax under his touch before doing anything else, Mingi's fingers slowly began drawing circles around her hips as he kept his face buried in her neck. Inhaling deeply, he could make out her unique scent that his senses had committed to memory, but could also faintly discern a somewhat different odor that he had never before detected on her before. It was slightly off-putting to him, but he opted for brushing it off. After all, she worked with several people at her job.

Slowly, he began peppering kisses along her shoulder, which seemed to trigger deep and blissful sighs to exude from her nose. His hands moved up to cup around her breasts, kneading at her soft skin while the thumbs grazed over her sensitive nubs in a careful motion. Soft moans poured out from her mouth. Tilting her head back, she reached a hand up to bring her lover's face to hers so she could kiss him. Her moans were now being eaten up by his mouth and tongue as his fingers stroked between her legs, probing at her folds and rubbing at her clit. Pulling apart to catch her breath, Y/N looked up at Mingi with longing and desperation.

"Please....more." She begged at him.

Prying her folds open, he carefully inserted two of his slender and long fingers inside her, her walls practically sucking him in. She felt so tight around him, her walls hugging and clenching all around his fingers. Y/N threw her head back against his shoulder as she began grinding against his hand, savoring as she was finally feeling something, anything in a long time. Her hand had moved to pet at his head, her fingers brushing away his now damp hair in gentle caresses. Wanting to see, feel him more, she removed his hand away from her mound and firmly pressed him towards one of the walls, where she then began to kiss him hungrily and in subtle anguish.

Mingi just allowed her to take control for that moment, his heart lightening up at finally getting some reaction from her. He let her take a hold of his erect cock and pump him slowly as her mouth sucked on several patches of skin on his neck to leave tiny blotches across it. He missed this, he missed being intimate with her and missed having her touch him, not to fulfill any sexual yearning, but to be close to her. He always saw these tender and passionate moments as a display of their love and bond.

Soon the water had been turned off and both of their dripping bodies were fumbling out and landing on top of the bed. Mingi hissed softly as he watched his beautiful girlfriend sink down and his length.

"Fuck. It's been too long."

Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around her, wanting to be as close as possible as he began to roll his hips up. Wanting to take his time, Mingi took one of her supple breasts and stuffed it in his mouth, giving it various light suckles and then adding a few kisses onto it. Y/N began panting and moaning uncontrollably, so many emotions rushing through her all at once. It seemed as if all that time of not feeling anything had left her somewhat numb to emotions that now she was beginning to feel overwhelmed by all the ones that were hitting her now:

Love, lust, passion, anger, fury, agony, guilt, one by one they all crashed into her head and heart. It was becoming too much for her and it began to scare her somewhat. But she didn't want them to stop, she wanted to cling onto those emotions just a little longer, no matter what or how. She hadn't even realized her hands had placed themselves on Mingi's broad shoulders, holding her steady as she began to bounce herself on top of him, slow tears trickling down her cheeks as muffled cries of desperation were being choked back and bitten back by her lips. Her fear of not feeling anymore soon turned to rage, and it was manifesting itself as she fucked herself on her boyfriend, who by now had noticed the change in her mood.

Mingi tried to grip her hips down, but she didn't seem to care and tried to push his hands away. His calling out to her fell upon deaf ears as she swatted his hands, tat were trying to steady her, away. Finally, he firmly held her wrists and kept her from moving as he forced her to look at him.

"Y/N!" He sharply exclaimed, breaking her out of her trance.

Feeling her body starting to shake, Y/N looked away in shame, her eyes threatening to spill out more tears.

"Baby, look at me, what's wrong?" Mingi gently cupped her chin.

Not meaning to be so mean, but Y/N brushed his hand away and began to climb off him.

"I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry."

Getting up, she ransacked her drawer and pulled out some clothes and dressed herself in an inhumane speed.

"Honey, we can talk about it-" Mingi tried to touch her once more but she pulled away once more.

"I don't want to talk about it! Please! I just want to go to bed."

Marching over to the closet, she grabbed some spare pillows and a blanket.

"I'm sleeping on the couch." She firmly stated, not about to let herself be dissuaded from her resolution.

"Y/N, please don't do this. Stop shutting me out."

With one final attempt, Mingi grabbed her shoulder and turned her arousal to face him, eyes intently searching and scanning every inch of her face for a clue as to what was bothering her.

"Talk to me love, you know you can."

Y/N opened her mouth, about to spill what was on her heart, but ultimately decided against it.

"I can't.....I'm sorry. Just please....let me be for now."

Mingi's hands fell to his sides in defeat as he watched the most important person in his life leave him there, alone. He hated this, hated having her become so distant from him. He could feel it in his heart that sooner or later she was going to snap and hurt his heart, probably more than what he was imagining.

But he was ready for that moment.

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Having gotten absolutely no sleep that night, Y/N ended up getting up just hours before the sun was supposed to rise. Making sure to make as little noise as possible, she made sure to bundle up since it was chilly outside. She looked over at the peaceful and sleeping figure of her boyfriend, who was softly letting out subtle snores as his hands clutched around a pillow, holding onto it as if his life depended on it. He could never fully call asleep unless he was holding something, that something always being her. She could make out a faint wet patch on his pillow where his cheek rested, tell tale sign that he had been crying the night before, just as she had done.

With a kiss to his forehead, she left the house and headed out, her destination still unclear. She just walked wherever her legs led her to, whether conscious or unconsciously. There was hardly a soul around to keep her company on that lonely and cold morning walk in the autumn breeze. Her teeth were chattering inside her mouth whenever a rather blunt force of air swooped past her, making her lick her lips as she felt them drying up even more.

Without realizing it she had come across a small and serene park, a trail specifically used for early joggers right in front of her. Following the trail, she kept her head down as she slowly strolled through the immense trees surrounding her. The golden and garnet hued leaves were scattered about all around the semi dead grass, some of it blowing through the air. She paid no attention to them though, she paid no attention at all to her surroundings. She couldn't feel anything anyways, even the cold air was becoming numb to her at this point.

"Mind if I join you?"

She halted in her steps when a low voice spoke from behind her. She didn't need to see him to know who he was.

"How'd you know I was here?" She questioned him without turning around still.

"Lucky guess."

Moving in front of her, Mingi's tall figure loomed over hers, studying her mood which right now seemed apathetic and melancholic. Standing there all quiet for a brief moment, Mingi was the one who decided to break the ice.

"I love you, you know that right?"

Without even batting an eye, Y/N slowly nodded. Expecting that reaction, Mingi chuckled dryly.

"You know it's been a while since I've heard you respond at all to me saying that...."

Once more, she had no expression on her face, hardly even blinking as she stared right through him, almost as if he wasn't there. But she was listening to him, and he knew it too. Brushing some hair behind her ear, Mingi let out a deep sigh.

"Y/N...... I know you're not ok. I don't know how or what it is you're feeling, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. Maybe you should go see a therapist, a doctor, I don't know. We'll find out what's wrong so you-"

"Mingi I don't know what I feel for you anymore."

He felt as if a knife had been plunged at his chest. Although he expected her to say something that would hurt him, he still wasn't fully ready to hear those words.

"Just 2 months ago you said and thought differently. Back then you always told me you loved me and cherished me." He kindly reminded her.

"Maybe feelings change." She bluntly stated.

"Yes they do which is why I don't believe you when you say you don't feel anything for me anymore. I know my Y/N, I know the girl I fell in love with and I know that these past weeks, seeing how you're acting.......that's not you."

She didn't move away when he cupped her cheeks.

"I know you still love me, I can see it in your eyes. Your love is just restrained right now. Just give it time. Trust me."

Choking back tears, Y/N finally made eye contact with him.

"Just end it Mingi. I don't have the heart to do it, so please just end things with me. Don't hold onto me anymore. Move on with your life and find someone who can love you like you deserve to be loved."

Mingi immediately shook his head, that being an option he was not accepting.

"Baby, do you need some time on your own? Some time alone? I can give you that. Maybe that way it'll be good for you to use that time to get help and-"

"Mingi I cheated on you." She confessed.

His body stood frozen in place at her admittance, yet he was not shocked at all. The weird scent he detected on her and the way she sometimes recoiled from his touch as if guilt ate her alive, he always had that thought on the back of his head.

"So you fell in love with someone else?"

Y/N let out a sob.

"No.......absolutely not. It meant nothing and I just did it because I wanted to feel something, anything and he was right there. But that's no excuse and I'm sorry Mingi. I'm sorry I'm not the girlfriend you deserve. You deserve so much better than me. Someone who's not broken, foolish and dead already. So please..."

Her hands came up to hide her face as she began crying like she hadn't done in a long time.

"Just forget about me....."

Even if she didn't want it, Mingi embraced her, holding her tightly as she tearfully spilled her heart and emotions out. His heart ached for her. She was suffering, emotionally and mentally she was in pain and she didn't even want to admit it. He couldn't force her to get help, but he couldn't just leave her like that. It would tear him apart if he did. Stroking her hair, he waited until her sobbing and hyperventilating had calmed down before saying anything.

"Y/N.....you need some time alone. We....need some time alone. And I'm willing to give you as much time as you need to heal. But you have to promise me that you'll get help. It's not fair for you to keep living this way. You deserve to be happy."

Pulling back, he used his thumbs to brush away some of the tears off her cheeks.

"But this doesn't mean I'm ending things nor forgetting about you. This is only a break until you're all better and ready to come back to me."

Y/N stared at him in disbelief.

"Song Mingi, you're an even bigger idiot than I thought you were."

He giggled softly at that.

"I'm an idiot who loves you and will always love you. And this idiot knows you still love me, even if your brain refuses to let you believe it now."

Pressing his forehead against hers, he shut his eyes to keep himself from crying.

"I'll be waiting for you until you come back to me....."

Taking off the red scarf that was hanging on his neck, he wrapped it around her neck and softly padded it on.

I know you'll be back."

◈◈◈⊰──────⊱◈◈◈⊰──────⊱◈◈◈

He left her with a final kiss on her lips and watched her walk away, disappearing from his life for about 2 years. Rain had begun to fall then just as it was falling in that moment. Picking up the untouched peppermint hot chocolate and discarding his cappuccino on a nearby trash bin, Mingi stepped out of the gazebo and began walking back to the hotel, not caring about getting soaked in the pouring rain. Perhaps it could help to mask the tears that were beginning to spill out from his eyes. He had never felt his longing for the person he still regarded as his soulmate so dearly as he felt right then and there. He felt as if his oxygen was being caught off, his hope was beginning to dwindle, all the words his friends would often say to him were revolving around his head.

Were they right? Should he stop waiting for her? Was he wrong? Should he just move on?

He was startled out of his thoughts when he heard someone open an umbrella behind him, the person hovering it over him so the rain wouldn't hit him anymore. He felt his heart beating harshly against his chest, some overpowering sensation telling him to turn around, which he slowly began to do. The first thing his eyes caught was the familiar red scarf tied to the person's neck. He recognized it immediately. And when he looked up at the face that was looking back at him, he no longer had any doubts left.

"Y/N...." He whispered out.

Through tears in her eyes, she smiled at him, not a fake nor cold one, but a genuine and heart warming smile, just like the one she had plastered on her face when they first met each other.

"Hey Mingi. How are you?" She asked.

"I...I'm fine. ....how are you?" They both knew what he was referring to.

"I'm a lot better actually. Taking medication still sucks but I'm a lot better and happier now. My therapist has been working with me all this time so...yeah.." She seemed a little awkward talking about it, but Mingi wasn't going to push her.

"I'm glad, I truly am happy for you."

Looking back at the cup in his hand, he held it out to her.

"It's probably not hot anymore, but it's your favorite."

Y/N was surprised that he even had or remembered what her favorite was. Taking a small sip, she couldn't help the tiny grin spreading on her cheeks.

"It's perfect. I never liked it super hot either way."

They both chuckled at that known fact between them. Soon there was another silence between them, and once again it was Mingi who broke it. Brushing some hair away from her face, he stared into her eyes.

"I love you."

Looking up at him, her eyes no longer void nor cold, but instead full of life and love, Y/N answered back.

"I love you too."

Unable to hold himself back, Mingi held her tightly, overwhelmed with emotions as he finally held the love of his life in his arms once more.

"I knew you'd come back to me...."

◈◈◈⊰──────⊱◈◈◈⊰──────⊱◈◈◈

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eminems-skittles · 4 years ago

Text

family game night [spencer reid x reader]

spencer reid x fem!reader warnings: mentions of alcohol word count: 2k

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

"Who's in for a party at Rossi's house tonight?" Y/N said, cheerfully, as she walked into the BAU office. Her bright arrival caught the attention of her teammates, all of them looking up from the mountains of paperwork they were drowning in. Spencer shot a look up to where Hotch and Rossi's offices are.

"Does Rossi already know or are we just inviting ourselves over?" Spencer asked, eyes darting around the group, before looking at his girlfriend. "You know, it's proven that if you invite yourself over to someone's house, they're more likely to unfriend you than someone who invites you over."

"Rossi can't unfriend us, we're basically his children. And he's not going to mind. Are you forgetting I'm basically his favorite daughter?" Y/N said, raising her eyebrows at Spencer. Her claim that she was Rossi's favorite 'daughter' caught a certain brunette's attention.

"Um, excuse me, but I'm Rossi's favorite daughter," Emily scoffed. "I'm down for a party if someone else buys the booze. We should have a game night or a poker night?" Emily suggested,

"Uh no, I am not going to lose anymore money to pretty boy over there," Derek chimed in, his head popping up from behind the stack of folders on his desk. "And we all know that I'm his favorite daughter. Count me in for tonight." He said before pushing out of his chair, "I'll go ask Pen if she wants to go also."

"Alright, so it's all of us for sure. Emily can you ask JJ for me? I'll go ask Hotch, and then tell Rossi," Y/N said, before skipping up the stairs to Hotch's office. Emily nodded but Y/N's back was already turned to her.

"How does she have so much energy? It's 8 in the morning," Spencer questioned, marveling at his girlfriend skipping around the office in the early hours of the morning.

"She consumes the same amount of sugar you do just without the coffee," Emily replied, going back to her paper work, with a small smile on her face.

Y/N knocked on Hotch's slightly open office door. Hotch was hunched over a file when he looked up. "Y/L/N, come in."

"Hey Hotch!" She greeted him with a beaming smile. "All of us are planning on going to Rossi's for a game night tonight. If you could, you should totally swing by!"

"Does Rossi know about it?" Hotch questioned, a smirk settling on his face.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that? Of course he doesn't know about it yet. He'd never agree before hand." Y/N said, laughing lightly.

"I'll let you know if I can. Jack might be jealous that I'm hanging out with Aunt Y/N without him," Jack and Y/N spent a lot of time together, Y/N often volunteering to babysit Jack when Hotch had to work late.

"Tell him I'll take him to the movies tomorrow," Y/N added.

"Alright, Y/L/N, I'll go. Should I bring anything?" Hotch asked, his eyes scanning the paper on his desk.

"Emily doesn't want to buy the booze, but I think Rossi might have some. If you want to, you can pick up some beer or some wine. I think I am going to bring some snacks if I can stop at the store," Y/N explained, leaning against one of the chairs that faced Hotch's desk.

"I'll pick up a few cases of beer on the way over," Hotch said, smiling at the younger girl.

"Great! I'll text you what time. See ya, Hotch!," and before Hotch could say bye to Y/N, she was out of his office, her hair just barely catching his eye, as she quickly made her way to Rossi's office.

"Knock knock," Y/N said, knocking on Rossi's open door. He was sitting behind his desk, revising a piece of paperwork.

"Who is it?" Rossi said, a singsong tone in his voice, as he looked up at the Y/H/C agent in the doorway.

"Your favorite 'child'," Y/N said, using air quotes when she said child.

"Of course. What do you want this time? A key to my house?" Rossi said, a hint of sarcasm laced in his words.

"Oh that'd be awesome! Then I wouldn't have to ask you every time I wanted to throw a party at your house. Speaking of which," Rossi groaned, "the team wants to have a get together tonight since we have no cases this weekend. Can we have it at your house?" Y/N didn't even have to ask, she knew she didn't. He always said yes even if he put up a fight about it.

"You already told them it was at my house didn't you?" Rossi questioned the younger agent. He saw her as a daughter, just as he saw all of them as his children.

"Am I really that predictable? I did," Y/N said, her face lighting up with a smile. "Everyone is in, even Hotch."

"Okay, fine. But only if you set up and clean up," Rossi negotiated.

"Will you cook or should we order in?" Y/N asked, making a list of all the things she had to do before tonight, in her head.

"I'll cook. Go get your work done," Rossi said, shooing her out of the office.

She left his office and made her way back to her desk. Y/N pulled out her phone to text the BAU group chat,"Papa Pasta's Spaghetti Children", that Rossi had said yes to the party. Everyone agreed on 6 pm, before remarking on the title of the group chat, like they always did. The conversation ended with Emily saying she was the favorite 'daughter' and no one bothering to correct her.

—TIME SKIP—

Spencer and Y/N had arrived at Rossi's house at about 5:30. They had stopped at the store on the way over to Rossi's to pick up snacks and games for the game night.

Rossi was the first to show up, given it was his house. He started cooking the pasta he was making for everyone, opening a bottle of wine for Spencer and I. JJ and Emily were the next to arrive, each greeted with a glass of wine. We gathered around the island in the kitchen, chatting about our plans for the weekend. The next people to arrive were Penelope and Derek, Penelope claiming a glass of wine while Derek waited for Hotch to arrive with the beer. Ten minutes later, Hotch was walking through the front door with a case of beer in each hand. As Rossi made dinner, Y/N took out the first game of the night, Cards Against Humanity.

"Okay, the card is 'Honey, Mommy and Daddy love you very much. But apparently Mommy loves (blank) more than she loves daddy," Spencer said, a grimace settled on his face, clearing not excited to be judging this round. Everyone slammed their cards on the table, Y/N and Penelope barely able to contain their giggles. "Alright let's see what you guys put down. 'The Kool-Aid man.' 'The invisible hand.' 'Daddy Issues.' 'Chunks of a dead prostitute'" that card earned a chorus of groans and giggles from the group. "And last but certainly not least, 'Spontaneous Human Combustion.' Alright, let me think about this for a second," Spencer said, mulling over his options a little too seriously. "I think the winner of this one is 'Chunks of a dead prostitute.'" Hotch cheered, grabbing the black card. Everyone looked at him in shock.

The game continued until dinner was fully prepared. The team gathered in Rossi's dining room, digging into the meal Rossi made. Dinner went by relatively quickly with stories and laughs being shared. When everyone was finished, they moved into the living room, settling, more like squishing, onto the couch.

"Okay children, time for the surprise game of the night," Y/N said, pushing herself off the couch where she sat next to Spencer. She pulled a game out of a bag that was on the floor.

"You got us Mario Kart?!" Penelope all but shrieked. "When did you get that?"

"I got it a few days before the last case. Rossi mentioned something about having a Wii so I thought why not get us a game for it?" Y/N answered, handing Rossi the game to put into the DVD disc holder. He popped the disc into the Wii and handed four Wii remotes to Y/N. Y/N gave a remote to Penelope, Derek, Spencer, and JJ.

"Wait, I don't know how to play." Spencer said, kind of handing the remote back to Y/N.

"Penny, can you show him how to play? Last time I played was 10 years ago," Y/N asked, going to get a round of beers for everyone from the kitchen. When she came back, Penelope was showing Spencer how to play the game. He looked like a confused puppy.

"Okay I think I'm ready to play," Spencer said, unsure if he could actually play.

Penelope got the game all set up and hit start. The room was filled with the sounds of shouting from the players and laughter and cheering from the onlookers. Penelope was in first place with JJ following in a close second. Derek wasn't that far behind JJ and Spencer could not have been any farther behind the other three. After a few minutes, everyone, except Spencer, were on their third and final lap. JJ ended up winning, with Penelope in 2nd, Derek in 3rd, and Spencer in last place. He let out a huff and threw the controller onto the ottoman in front of him.

"Aw, baby, don't pout," Y/N said, brushing a piece of his hair behind his ear.

"I'm not pouting! It's a dumb game that doesn't make any logical sense," Spencer said, leaning into Y/N, taking a sip of his beer. "Why do players get to throw turtle shells? How does that make any sense?"

"Chill out, pretty boy. You have chess and other smart people games," Derek said, slightly out of it from how much he drank.

"It's just a dumb game," Spencer mumbled under his breath, digging his head into Y/N's shoulder. She rubbed the back of his neck, sharing a look with JJ.

"Are you grumpy because you lost or grumpy because you're tired?" Y/N whispered in Spencer's ear. Whenever he drank too much, he tended to get grumpy, tired, and clingy.

"Yes," he muttered, causing Y/N to giggle. The other's had started on the next game of Mario Kart, oblivious to Spencer's current mood change.

"Alright, let's go home, babyface. I'm gonna go get my purse and tell Rossi we're leaving," Y/N said, standing up from the couch, Spencer whimpering before leaning back on the couch. "Hey Rossi, I think Spence and I are going to head out."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Y/L/N. You've both had a lot to drink tonight. Just crash in one the guest bedrooms okay? I think everyone is going to stay the night," Rossi said, turning to look at all of his shit-faced 'children.'

"If you insist. Does it matter which one?" She asked, looking over at Spencer who was almost asleep.

"Just pick one. See you both in the morning," Rossi said, walking away before adding, "And use protection."

Y/N rolled her eyes before going to get Spencer. They said their goodnights to the team before making their way to the first available bedroom. After they changed into the PJ's they brought just in case, Spencer and Y/N both climbed into the bed. It was quiet for a few minutes, the only sounds Y/N heard were the laughs from the ever so lively party.

"It's a dumb game," Spencer said before he drifted off to sleep.

Y/N kissed his cheek before whispering, "You're just a sore loser," falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

#cassie's masterlist #{ writing }#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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russian-romanova · 4 years ago

Text

the one that got away

title: the one that got away

pairing: joe goldberg

warnings: adult language, spoilers for season two of ‘you’, very brief mentions of violence

notes: joe’s pov. i haven’t gotten anything out there in a while, so here’s this.

summary: it’s been years since you ran out on your high school boyfriend joe goldberg. now that he’s seen you again, maybe it’s time to find out if your instincts were right.

+ + +

There was a part of me that had forgotten about you. I would go months without thinking about you, but then the strangest things would conjure up an image of you or your name would ring in my ears for a moment or two before passing out again. So don’t make the mistake of thinking I forgot about you, Y/N. I never forgot. Not really.

We dated in high school, which doesn’t mean much at face value. High School relationships are the ones that are the most fragile when boys can’t control their own body parts and girls don’t seem to know the word ‘boundary’. The teen couples that come into Mooney’s are the worst relationships, where they hold hands and kiss every time they turn a corner. It takes all I have not to turn them away.

But we were… different. We were good, and we took it slow. I was quiet and you were sweet, and God, I don’t think I could ever recreate that high I would get when I walked into school and would see you waiting at my locker, reading some book I had given you or eating some breakfast dessert. We didn’t rush anything, we were slow and steady friends more than anything, at least before we kissed. And when we did kiss, it wasn’t bumbling or awkward like teenage kisses should be. It was perfect, Y/N. Like it was meant to be.

You know why I’m bringing this up. I saw you at some supermarket the other day, in LA. It wasn’t Anavrin or any of those frighteningly strict healthy eating markets. It was just some supermarket I went to in search of some food I had been thinking about, and I saw you in the cereal aisle. You didn’t see me, Y/N, although I wasn’t sure if you would have even recognized me. You had a box of ‘Cinnamon Toast Crunch’ in one hand and a box of whatever the generic brand was in the other. I watched you for a moment, turn the first box over, then the second, before sighing and adding the generic one to your cart. I turned my body so you couldn’t see my face as I waited, only turning once I was sure you had left the aisle the opposite way of me.

Trust me, Y/N, I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. I had to double-take to even think it was you, and then I ended up staring at you for a full five seconds before I remembered where I even was. A supermarket. In LA.

Really, the strangest part was that I had been in LA for around a month and hadn’t somehow caught wind of you. Sure, LA’s a big city, perfect for disappearing -- I should know -- but I have a sixth sense for these sorts of things. It helps that I’ve been trying to stay away from you, really, I stopped searching your name on the internet long ago and I’ve been trying to push you out of my mind.

Still -- I see in you in all of their eyes. Candace. Beck. Love.

Then you pushed your cart away from me and left behind the corner. I trailed behind you for a while, because how are you supposed to see your high school sweetheart and just forget about it? You picked out black beans and condiments, grabbed crackers and milk. Then you were gone.

But I knew you were in LA, and that got me through a while. I was distracted at work, distracted with Love. Even Ellie knew something was off, and of course, I couldn’t tell any of them about you, Y/N. I made up some lie about work or the news, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wondered if you shopped every Tuesday afternoon if I would have a chance of seeing you again if I waited there next week. If you saw me first, would you interact? Would you know what I was doing and confront me or would you leave and hope that I didn’t see you? Would you see me at all?

No, I knew that I had to find you before then, preferably someplace where I wouldn’t look like some random creep approaching a pretty girl. I had to do my research.

I didn’t know whether to be impressed or disappointed when I discovered both an Instagram and a Facebook account that were both private. You were aware of security, at least a little. You had a public twitter account, but nothing you posted on there really pertained to you on a personal level, mostly retweets about characters or politics.

Roughly three weeks ago, you had retweeted some comedic tweet about the benefits of being single. This was a good sign, Y/N. My expectations were set low, but the more I learned about you, the higher they became. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about our high school years, and how happy we both were. We could be like that again.

I was about to give up on the social media scour when I saw an Instagram account linked to your twitter account, completely different from the one I had already stumbled upon. This one was a much vaguer account, with some photos you must have taken, mostly of other people or of aesthetically pleasing nature views or buildings. The photographs that caught my eye the most -- and I’m sure you understand why, Y/N -- were the ones of Farmington Park and the one of a house front. The house numbers were blurred out, but it wasn’t that hard to trace around on Google Earth. I extended the view and followed the roads surrounding Farmington Park, making the assumption that you were near to it judging by the amount of photots you had posted of it, until I found the house that seemed the most familiar, the one that matched up perectly with the photograph. Bingo.

You should be more careful, Y/N.

✾ ✾ ✾

And so I wait. I see you again, but no longer by accident. I don my jacket and cap, and I wait at the bench near your house -- just a man reading a book, nothing anyone will pay too much attention to. I see you leave your house, which I’m relieved to see you walk out of. I’ve been wrong in the past, and it’s the worst possible feeling I could imagine. But you looked right at me, Y/N. The second day, you walked out of your bright red door and made direct eye contact with me. I have sunglasses on, so I don’t know if you can tell I’m looking back, but you stare at me for a few seconds, and then you move on. I worried you had maybe seen me, but the next day I returned and you didn’t think much of it.

Tuesdays and Thursdays is when you went to the park. As the sunsets, to get those stereotypical sunset photos, I presume, and you stay until late on Tuesday nights because you have Wednesdays off. It’s abandoned by the time it’s nine pm, the perk of small parks in big cities. So I waited until I was ready, until I thought you would be ready, and then I decided it was time to meet you.

8:42 on a Tuesday night, and I’ve never been more terrified before. I sit in the grass and watch you as the people slowly go home, watching you on your phone and messing with your camera. I notice for the first time, the green bracelet on your arm, which I recognize instantly, because I gave you that bracelet, Y/N. In high school, for your birthday. I gave it to you years ago, and you still wear it.

That almost gives me hope.

I had a plan. Once it was empty enough, I took off my hat and sunglasses, and I just sat there. You needed to come to me, to feel comfortable enough to do so. It was going to be an accident that I was here, nothing creepy. Nothing to feed your worries or stresses. I wasn’t a worry, I was a comfort that was reappearing after years and years.

When you saw me, your froze. You just stood there, unmoving and possibly unbreathing, frozen in a moment either now or in the past, mind racing and heart too fast. I waited for you, patiently. It was hard to not run up to you, to talk to you unprompted. But I had waited this long, I could wait a few minutes more.

Finally, you spoke. “What are you doing here?”

I looked up, feigning surprise. “Oh my God, Y/N,” I closed my book and stood up, smiling as if I had no idea you still existed. “What are you doing in LA?”

“Cut the bullshit. I saw you the other day. At least, I thought I saw someone that looked just like you, and now I’m pretty fucking sure that was you, Joe. This can’t be happening. This isn’t-” You trailed off, mumbling to yourself. Your were suspitious, but I could work with suspicious.

“You saw me? Seriously? Where was it?” I laugh as if I’m more confused than you are, still confused and surprised. Keep it up, Joe. Patience. “Why didn’t you-”

“Stop it. You were-” You stopped talking, your eyes widening a little at the absurdity of the situation. “You looked at me, Joe. I know you’re lying, so cut the bullshit. Be honest.”

I think it over for a minute. “I didn’t know if it was actually you or not.” I say, a little bit quieter. I feel like a kid again, and we haven’t even been talking for a minute.

“Honest,” You repeated. “I’m not new to your games, Joe. Where did you see me first?”

“The bus stop,” I say, maintaining eye contact. You give me your ‘bullshit’ look, and I realize nothing has changed. I almost smile before I remember what’s happening, that I need to work fast and convince you. I can’t lose you again, not now that I’ve found you. “The bus stop,” I reaffirm, before adding. “Nice bracelet.”

And I’ve changed the subject.

“I need to go home,” You say, sounding tired and frantic.

I take a step forward. “Let me walk you,”

“No, Joe.” You say loudly at first, and then repeat it a little softer.

“Please, Y/N,” I say in a tone that we both know is close to a beg. You look at me with those big fucking eyes and I hope I’m making the same expression back. The puppy dog eyes are something we’ve both mastered.

“Joe, I don’t love you anymore.” You say suddenly, and you throw your hands out to either side as if that’s it. As if that’s enough to satisfy me and it answers all my questions.

“Then why are you still wearing the bracelet?” I’m begging you now, pleading with you and I hate my own tone of voice.

You glance down at it as if you’ve forgotten about it. There’s a pause as you think for a moment, searching for words or for a lie. I’m frozen when I stand. “It’s not because I love you. It’s to remember.” You look up at me again, and your eyes aren’t just big anymore, they’re teary now. A part of me still wants to run to you, to tell you that it’s okay, but I know I can’t. “You killed me, Joe. Or you might as well have. I’m mourning her. I can’t forget her.”

Any act is long gone. We both know what you’re talking about, about all the conversations we had where you had tried to break up with me and I convinced you, about all the looks your had given me when I did something that would send off a red flag. “I didn’t, Y/N. I wouldn’t have. I was so careful with you.”

You look at me in a way I’ve never seen before. “I hid. I shouldn’t have had to hide. I changed so much about me, about who I was because I was scared you would find me somehow, I don’t know.” You run a distressed hand through your hair.

“Why? Why were you so scared of me, Y/N? I was just some kid in love. I loved you so much. I love you so much.” I take a step towards you.

You match it with one back, putting up a distressed hand. “Stop, Joe. Stop. I’m not doing this, okay? All of these things about you pointed to terror for me and I went with my gut because you hear all of these horror stories about girls and their boyfriends and it was better safe than sorry and-“ You sniff, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. You’re crying and I didn’t even realize it. “And I am sorry, Joe. I really am, but we both know that’s what I needed to do.” And you’re right, Y/N, and it would be a lie to deny it. I didn’t have to do anything to you and you knew who I was. No one has ever understood as well as you.

I am hurt as you look at me, somehow pained yet strong. “I’m sorry,” Is all I can manage out, and you don’t respond.

“I need to go home,” You say finally. “You do too, Joe. This is out there now, and we can move on. Okay? Don’t try to find me again.”

“But I can’t forget about you.” I don’t know if I’m making excuses or being honest anymore. For a split second, I think about lunging at you, grabbing you or striking you or something -- but then I remember that this isn’t just anyone. This is you. Candace, Beck, Love, they’re all modelled after you. I think that’s all I’m working for, is you again. Yet I respect you too much to treat you like them, and I love you too much to really let you go. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore.

“Then don’t,” You look at me with calm eyes. “Then don’t forget about me. It’s better to remember, but to keep it somewhere just out of reach. It’s not like I could forget you, Joe. You were a part of my life,” You admit. “No matter how bad, you can’t forget something like that.”

And that’s all you need to say. No goodbye, no farewell greeting. You turn and walk away.

And I let you, Y/N.

For the first time in my life, I watch someone walk away from me, and that’s it. Out of everyone, I hate that it’s you leaving yet I’m happy that we ended it like this. I watch your wrist swing slightly as you walk, the stringy ends of the bracelet swinging along with it. I think of what you said, about remembering, and I know there’s some truth there. I’ve felt it before, the need to remember Candace and Beck long after I had thought they were gone. For them -- and for me.

But as you turned the corner for the final time, something in me pulls at my senses, telling me what I already know is true. Your words ring in my mind one final time, but I know you’re wrong this once.

Sometimes, Y/N, it’s better not to remember, but to forget.

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yoditorian · 4 years ago

Text

lacuna- part 8

din/reader

SURPRISE DROP!!!!! there’s only one more part left after this can you bELIEVE???? i’ll leave the emotional spiel until then and for now i’ll just apologise for the pain you’re about to go through in such a short amount of time💛

series masterlist // main masterlist

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst angst angst, some swears, no seriously this is just pain they don’t even bang, a confession

“Have you ever removed your helmet?”

“No.”

“Has it ever been removed by others?”

“Never.”

He’s lying.

Din has always been so careful with his words. Lying makes his voice tremble, it always has done. So he is careful, he never says more than he needs to, thinks on the phrasing of the promises he makes. He has only outright lied once in his adult life, to you. To protect you. Maybe that’s what keeps him steady now. Even with a blade at his throat and half the covert watching on. He does not falter.

You’d think they would make engine parts easier to clean.

You’re perched on a crate in the hangar at your old work station, legs crossed beneath you, as you scrub away at the dull metal of the second-hand hyperdrive motivator that some vendor in a backwater scrapyard had, frankly, swindled you for. The stupid thing isn’t worth the credits you’d paid for it, but it’s still a hell of a lot more useful than the one that sits completely dead in the transport’s engine. But this was your decision, and you have to live with it.

What’s the alternative? Spend the rest of your life working your way around the galaxy, flying for whoever’s paying? Settling down in the little house on the edge of the Damerons’ farm? Going back to the New Republic? None of your options sound appealing enough to move on. You know this place, you know how it works. That’s enough.

“Wasn’t just me who stuck around either,” Ran’s voice pulls you from a particularly stubborn lump of grease, “You remember this one?”

Your heart leaps into your throat, when he’d told you he was expecting company you’d assumed it was another one of his contacts. A black market buyer or seller, they usually are. Not him. You were expecting anybody but Din.

His armour shines under the lights, sparks reflecting off the unpainted beskar. It’s beautiful. But your stomach lurches at how new it is, that his old armour had somehow gotten damaged enough that he needed an entirely new set. Except one of his thigh plates, dented to hell and back but still usable. There’s something of the man you know, the man you thought you knew, under all that.

The way Ran talks about you like you’re not even there is enough to calm you. He has no idea about your history with Din. Good, one less thing he can hold over your head. It’s far from the most dangerous situation you’ve ever been in, but you’re not about to let your guard down. Not with the team you know is heading out alongside him. Although nobody’s told you where they’re heading off to, which alone is enough to confirm that you wouldn’t approve of whatever it is.

You’re grateful you’d tucked your old blanket into a drawer in your workstation, the hangar gets cold. Especially when the Crest returns and brings the chill of hyperspace with it. The knit of it loose with age now, but it’s the last of your life before. The last remnant of a time when you thought you knew who you were.

You don’t expect Qin to be the prisoner they’d gone to break out. Although, now that you look back, who else could it have been? Who else did enough people on the station give enough of a shit about to warrant sending a team after? The old team, specifically.

Nobody follows him out.

You’re moving towards the ship before you’re even really aware of yourself. Qin looks surprised to see you, but you bypass a greeting to glance into the Crest’s hull. Empty. Did no one make it out? Did Din-

He’s there, suddenly, walking down the ramp and catching the pouch of credits that Ran tosses him. You try to cover your sigh of relief with a cough, but you’re not sure how successful you are.

“Something the droid said, about the hyperdrive. Could you come take a look?” Din turns to face you, and for a second it’s like neither of you left the station. You’re rocketed right back to before everything as you nod and pull the blanket tighter around your shoulders. You don’t quite catch what Qin says when you disappear into the hull and unlatch the access panel, you’re not sure you really want to know, but you don’t miss the hatch closing up behind you.

“Mando?”

If Din hears you, he ignores your question, and the rumble of the engines lifting off almost takes you off your feet. You hurry to latch the access panel back up and wait until the ship steadies to shoot up the ladder and confront him.

Stars. Stars and three X-Wings dropping out of lightspeed right ahead of you.

Oh.

“Tracking beacon. They wouldn’t have let me leave alive.” So he did hear you.

He’s saved you. He risked precious seconds, ones he didn’t really have, just to make sure he got you out before the fighters got there. Something twinges in your chest when you think about your A-Wing sitting in the corner of the hangar, abandoned without a second thought and now blown to pieces. Suddenly your blanket feels a lot heavier around your shoulders.

You go to sink into a passenger seat, before you notice a pair of big brown eyes staring up at you. A child, not like any species you’ve seen before, but a child nonetheless.

“Who’s this?” You hate the way your voice comes out all squeaky, like you’re afraid of the answer. You are, there’s no doubt about that. But you don’t need either of them to know that.

“He’s a friend.”

There’s more to it than that, obviously, but you’re satisfied. One of your best friends is a six year old after all.

The child chirps as you take the other passenger seat, holding out a little metal ball in his three fingers. He waves it around, desperate to show it to you. It’s the knob from the landing gear shift. You’d know it anywhere, you were the one to screw it in the first time. Now that you glance out at the console, there’s not anything that’s changed about it at all. Even your A-Wing, in all it’s years of service, had had bits and pieces pulled out and replaced, and that had been brand new when you got it. So why hasn’t the Razor Crest?

“What were you doing back there?” He asks, and you’ve half a mind to tell him it’s none of his business. But you’re tired, and he’s using that soft tone that you only ever hear in the dark. You’re powerless against it.

“I went back after the war. It’s good money,” You frown, “It was, anyway.”

“You’ve been there since then?”

“Everybody belongs somewhere, Mando.” You don’t spit the nickname the way you might have wanted to in the past, but he recoils like you do.

But you don’t belong there, you never did. No, you belong in that little room at the inn in Mos Espa. You belong in the sky in a starfighter. You belong in some busy Yavin marketplace chatting with your friend, with the kid on your hip and Din by your side. You belong wherever you want to, he knows that’s not Ran’s station. And Din? He belongs with you. But it’s too late now.

He punches in the nav code for Yavin IV without even needing to ask where you want to go. It stabs the knife a little deeper, the way he knows you so well. The way he always has.

The child scrambles off of his seat and toddles over to yours, determined to pull himself up onto your lap by your bootlaces. Din doesn’t tell you not to let him up, so you haul the little green thing up and settle him on your thighs.

“Hi.” You introduce yourself, although it feels a little silly. You’re not sure how much he understands but he chirps in place of a reply before he gets distracted by the blanket around your shoulders. His little claws disappear into the wool and he drops his ball, utterly fascinated. You catch the discarded ball with your foot before it can roll too far and snap it up with your free hand. Din’s relieved you’re preoccupied with the little one, at least you don’t notice him staring.

“Is there a-?” The child snores softly in your lap, buried in the blanket he’d pulled off of you and wrapped himself in. You don’t mind. It should be used to comfort a kid again, the same way it’s provided for you all these years. Letting this baby borrow it is the least you can do for him. The kid has a history, if the way he twitches in his sleep is any indication, and you’re not about to deny him something he might never have had.

“In the hull, I’ll take him. You take the wheel?” Din easily, naturally, takes the child from you as you slide into the pilot’s seat. You don’t expect the easy domesticity to hurt quite so much. It feels like the galaxy is taunting you, forcing you to live a moment of a life you always knew you’d never get to have. You let yourself heave a shaky sigh when you hear Din’s feet hit the floor of the hull.

It’s been a long, long time since you sat in control of the Razor Crest, but it’s just as familiar as the day you told him to take it. You flick the autopilot switch off. Any idiot can fly in hyperspace, all you need to do is keep the ship straight, but you need to feel the controls under your hands. Anything to distract from the gaping hole in your chest.

Din doesn’t ask to swap back when he returns. He only settles in your abandoned seat, and you can feel his eyes heavy on your back. If he has anything to say, he keeps it to himself.

You hope he doesn’t notice how the house is exactly the same as when he was last here, when you were last here. There’s a fine layer of dust that’s settled over the furniture but two sets of footprints, one about your size and another smaller set, lead to the fridge. Several new drawings have been stuck up among the others. You might cry if you were in different company.

“Will he be alright?” You ask. Din had elected to leave the baby sleeping on the ship, as you’d touched down in a disused field across the track. He nods, trailing a gloved finger through the dust on the table.

“Will you?”

He’s not expecting that. But maybe he should have. You’ve never not been worried about him, not since the first time you let him touch you, but it takes him out at the knees every time. Even when he’s pushed you away, even when you’ve been suffering yourself, you have always opened your arms to him. He doesn’t deserve it.

“You could,” The words almost get stuck in your throat, but you know you’ll regret it if he leaves before you ask, “Stay.”

Din reels back. He can’t. You know he can’t, but you asked anyway. It’s enough to make his blood boil. He’s not angry with you, he never is, it’s his fault he can’t say yes. That’s all he wants. To stay.

“There’s schools, and other kids. You’d both have protection here. You’d be safe.”

The sun starts to disappear behind Yavin, plunging the kitchen into a red glow the way it did last time, but there’s none of the peace it brought before. It glints off his armour as the hope in your eyes starts to die.

“I love you.”

How can the words he’s always wanted to hear make him so angry?

“Please! Every time I think I’m over you, you come back and turn everything upside down again. Please just give me something.” You can’t hold back anymore. You can’t stand here and pour your heart and soul out to a man who says nothing.

“You already have far too much of me!” He’s never raised his voice at you before, that alone stuns you speechless. So you just stare, chest heaving, waiting for anything to break the tension. And Din does another thing he never has with you, he fills the silence.

“You have my name. You have my creed. I have nothing left to give you.”

He leaves without another word, for the last time, and you can’t help but heave a choking sob before he’s even shut the door. His absence is everywhere.

He hurts.

Hurts like nothing’s ever hurt before in his life. Walking away from you, disappearing out of the door and knowing it’s the last time. You won’t let him back in after this.

He can’t get back to the Crest fast enough.

Din practically falls through the side entrance of the hull, ripping his armour off before the door’s even fully closed. His guts twist and his lungs burn and he wrenches his helmet off, sends it scattering into a corner. He’ll find it later. Right now he needs to find the hole he knows is burned into his flight suit. A blaster bolt, a stab wound- something. But he only finds old scars and skin where your touch still lingers.

No smoking hole in his side. No blood or wound. Just the absence of something important in his chest. An unfilled space. A gap between his ribs, something missing. He knows what it is.

His veins are somehow filled with fire and empty at the same time, knowing that would be the last time. The last time he gets to see you. And even though the hatred was so clear on your face, even though you were merciless in the words you hurled at him, he still thought you were beautiful. He’ll always think you’re beautiful, no matter how angry you are.

Because he loves you. And now it’s too fucking late.

TAGLIST (add yourself here):

@brothersdrxke @rebloogggs @keeper0fthestars @remmysbounty @sirianisrock @thevoiceinyourheadx @firstofficerwiggles @1800-fight-me @ew-erin @chatterbean

#i wanna say i'm sorry but i'm not #lacuna #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #star wars #fic #liz does words #sfw

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boop-le-snoot · 4 years ago

Text

masterpost ☀️ main masterlist ☀️ taglist

previously on...

We meet Lucy, we meet Samantha and her twins & Mother Nature gets a little bit mad. But on the upside - she loves Tony :)

Kind reminder that this story will have horror/thriller elements & graphic descriptions of blood, gore and all the nasty stuff associated with superhero battles described in some detail. This chapter contains some of that.

Honestly, this story is getting- uhh- 8-12 notes on Tumblr. It's got a decent following on AO3 which brings me joy because I truly do enjoy the worldbuilding to a, perhaps, guilty amount. So if you like it too - please reblog :)

The fabric of my skirt was suddenly yanked and I jumped, dropping my phone and startling out of my daze. Two big, blue eyes stared up at me, curiousity mixed with impatience in them. I crouched down to pick up my device, coming face to face with a tiny blonde girl about nine or ten years of age.

"Lucy, hi!" I squeezed out a smile at the child. She looked pale, as if she'd never seen the slightest bit of sunlight, chubby cheeks contrasted by an overall spindliness of her body. Her dress was a puffy, long-sleeved, red and white polka dotted monstrosity with at least two petticoats that made her seem bigger than she actually was. "Sorry, didn't see you there. Long day at work," despite there being a worm of anxiety crawling deeply in my chest, I heeded the warnings on the list of rules and swallowed any unease I had.

Which was a hard feat. The stairs had gotten confused and I lost ten minutes of time going back, over and over, after encountering floors "5", "8" and "19" instead of my third floor, in a five story building. The building providing extra floors shouldn't have surprised me that much but the worst was fighting with the desire to explore them, my rational brain unhelpfully supplying that if this building was truly dangerous, nobody would be living in it.

The pull was almost unnatural in its strength yet my protection charms remained unaffected. Too tired from returning to work, I decided to distract myself with my phone - and nearly ran poor little Lucy off her feet.

"You are new," she signed to me slowly, carefully observing my reaction to her using ASL.

I had been truly unsettled by the rule list, perhaps more than I wanted to admit to myself, so I spent a night wide awake brushing up my meager sign language skills. "Yes, my name is Star," I replied, not quite sure if I wanted to shake her hand or simply make myself scarce as soon as possible.

Lucy gave me a closed-lipped grin, swooshing her puffy skirts in what I perceived to be a calculated amount of shyness. "Can I play with you, please?" Her hands moved a little more rapidly as she side-eyed my apartment door.

I briefly ran a mental checklist of the contents of my fridge. "Sure," I figured that two leftover steaks in it would be more than enough for the little girl. I'd splurged and gotten four prime pieces of meat to treat myself after a hectic moving process, cooking only half of them on the first day. "Come on it. You hungry?"

The door swung open as I led Lucy in, her bright dress and pale skin standing out in the twilight of my apartment. She nodded her head seriously, looking at me from head to toe as shivers ran up and down my spine. My bag was unceremoniously dumped on the couch, my socked feet shuffling into the kitchen and beelining for the fridge.

Lucy followed me quietly, taking a seat at the dinner table and folding her thin arms atop it, expectant blue eyes following my every move. As I plated the meat and reached for the roll of paper towels, I felt like I was being examined under a microscope. Somewhere in the distance, a quiet hissing noise was beginning to rise.

Lucy politely declined the fork and knife I attempted to give her so I just set down the plate in front of her, leaving the kitchen to change out of my dusty, sweaty clothes, too tired to really worry about the loud, sloppy and wet chewing noises and low growling coming from the dining area. I decided as long as she wasn't attempting to have me for dinner, I was going to be just fine.

I found Lucy on the carpet of my living room, flipping through a fashion magazine she'd found somewhere after I was done with scavenging some sweatpants from my mostly-unpacked closet. Her blonde curls bounced as she looked up at me with another tight smile, this time looking calmer, friendlier somehow. "I like those dresses," she signed, pointing at a few pictures with models wearing ballroom gowns in all kinds of colours. "And these..." She pointed out a tiara, probably not knowing how to sign the words.

"This is a tiara," I spoke slowly, signing the last word with my hands carefully as she observed. And then a few more times, until she repeated her last sentence perfectly. "Good job, Lucy," I praised her as she beamed at me. The river of quiet, scratchy giggles never stopped as she pointed out various things and I tried to sign them to the best of my ability, Lucy not showing any signs of upset whatsoever if I couldn't get the name for something right.

After some time, it was beginning to get very dark outside and a couple of pointed glances at the clock was all it took for her to stand up and carefully dust off her skirts. "Thank you for playing with me, Star," Lucy signed excitedly. "I like you. Do you want to know a secret?" She leaned in conspirationally, bursting into my space bubble with a lack of care only a child could posess.

I nodded, not trusting my mouth whatsoever. The closer she leaned in, the more overwhelming her smell became. Her pretty dress reeked of mildew and stale water, her breath - of dried blood and something earthen, like moist soil and cold cobblestone.

Lucy's eyes widened dramatically. "If you need answers, go on to the seventh floor. Bring some warm milk and cookies, they won't bother you too much, but be careful and don't stay for too long. You look tasty," I struggled to keep up with her rapid signing, my eyes firmly trained on her. Lucy's hand carefully patted my cheek and in my frozen state, I could only wave back as she skipped to the door and unlocked it, giving me one of her closed-lipped smiles before disappearing behind it without a noise.

The lock slid shut on it's own after the girl's departure. My heart briefly jumped up into my throat, trapping my jerky inhale in-between my throat and my esophagus. Coughing, I went on to double check the door lock before scrambling for the TV remote to add some background noise to the suddenly eerily quiet apartment.

The sit-com that popped up wasn't any of the ones I knew so I sat helplessly watching unfamiliar people get themselves into more and more absurd situations as the grating noise of pre-recorded audience laughter mocked the characters actions. A sudden shriek pierced the late night stillness, followed by a sound of breaking dishes and a woman's voice tiredly chastising the miscreants.

Samantha.

I'd seen her a few times as she smoked her strong cigarettes in front of the entrance, her twins running in circles around the large pothole in the middle of the driveway. She'd been friendly enough, the dark circles under her eyes and the unkempt state of her clothes telling me more than her words, "I love them, I really do. But I just want some sleep," she rasped as she sighed and attempted to gather her two kids.

I didn't examine them too closely but on first moment's notice their eyes and teeth appeared... Wrong. Samantha had taken them inside after that, clutching a coffee thermos of a size truly impressive, and I went on my merry way, trying not to think too much of the poor, single mother and her two mutant kids. I felt a little proud, even, as she didn't just abandon them like many other people did after discovering their children had an active X-gene.

It didn't take me long to cave in and offer my help with watching the twins, Anya and Arman; one noisy weekend bled into the next and I began to genuinely feel bad for the overtired woman. Inviting the two terrors into my apartment was a choice I had made mindfully: having asked Odette about advice on hyperactive children, she had proposed a puzzle or two.

The thrifted, wooden items weren't able to hold the twins' attention for long, and Anya was the first one to begin gnawing at the hard blocks, covering the area around her in splinters. Arman was a quiet boy compared to his sister: he'd stare at the TV or at the walls, avoiding eye contact and conversation at great lengths.

My couch was jumped on, my dishes were taken out and my houseplants rearranged chaotically; it was almost as if they purposefully tried to get a rise out of me without doing any actual damage. I spent the remaining few hours of my Sunday putting things back in their places - all that pent up frustration had done wonders for the state of my apartment; it sparkled, looking cleaner than the day I moved in.

The babysitting became a somewhat regular occurrence, more often than not with me popping in for a couple of hours so Samantha could run some errands and the odd weekend when the twins came over to me so Sam could get some much-needed sleep.

She was a kind, gentle if chronically overworked woman. We clicked pretty quickly over our shared desire for comfortable stability and some fucking peace; neither I nor she had it in sights for the foreseeable future. Sam's reaction to me being a witch was a shrug and a top up to her wine glass as she pointedly looked at her daughter who was busy chewing on a door handle, leaving small, jagged marks all over the dull metal.

I just had gotten sorted with a bunch of complicated orders when the radio interrupted Eric Clapton with an emergency message and instructions to steer clear of the next few blocks over. Something had hit NYC again and Avengers had been called but nobody knew exactly what it was or when it was going to be dealt with.

As soon as I shot a text to Sam, explaining the situation, I immediately retreated to the back rooms, setting up my healing station over the noise of Odette preparing her office for visitors. For some time, I waited with baited breath, jumping at every little noise coming from the outside. The people tickled in slowly, mostly one by one and all were covered in foul-smelling sludge that evaporated with a loud hiss when the concentrated light of the UV lamp in my office touched it.

"Some kind of aliens, I think," a man with a face somewhere between a human and a hedgehog told me, wincing as he retracted his spikes back into his skin. "There's a hole- a portal, right on a crossroads and there's these things coming out. They kinda look like dragons, or flying snakes maybe," the more light breached the surface of his skin, the more relaxed he became. "The Sorcerer and the Witch are trying to close the portal, unsuccessfully might I add, and the muscle is just," he paused, scratching his chin. "Just killin' 'em, I guess."

I nodded enthusiastically, prompting him to continue to rely the state of the affairs as I applied the thick, viscous ointment on a gash on his leg. "It's hammer and Frisbee time," I mumbled to myself sarcastically.

"Yep," the man popped the 'p'. "Most of us are trying to keep the creatures contained to that one block. I saw Iron Man blasting off some of the creatures off of some of my friends," the last sentence contained a great deal of puzzlement. "Though you won't be seeing much of us this time. These things... They're vicious. They've got claws the size of my foot. A lot of us are going to die where they gut us," the sentence was spoken so matter-of-factly, my hands paused on the man's leg, bringing my eyes to his unblinking dots of black.

"What do you mean?" I swallowed in an attempt to chase away the dry, rough feeling in my throat.

"Those beasts... They're smart. One of my friends - she's a... Telepath of sorts... Says they're an intelligent hivemind," the man's broad, warm palm closed over mine. "The beasts leave only the ones that won't get help in time. They can smell death from a mile away. That's how they hunt," his voice was gentle, soothing over the sudden ringing of my ears.

"I..." My mind stuttered, a sticky ball of anxiety, fear and sorrow gathering up in my chest. "I'm so sorry. I..."

"We know what we're doing, out there, we know the risks," his smile was tight and full of grief. "You're doing your part here, makin' sure our babies have parents. We're out there makin' sure our streets are safe. Such is life," the grin acceptance in his pitch-black, small eyes set fire to the tension in my chest.

I exploded, inside out. The sudden burst of decisive, clear-headed energy made the objects around me vibrate, metal resonated my sorrow and my determination, the wood heated up with the force of Mother Nature itself responding to an act of cruelty bestowed upon her creations.

As soon as the man's bandage was finished and he headed out, I grabbed my old, ratty backpack, hastily shoving things into it in a semi-organized fashion. Clean linen strips, bandages, some premade elixirs and draughts, a few jars of salves, carefully tucked in-between the cloth. As I knocked on the door of Odette's office to retrieve the last few items I would need for my reckless journey, the door handle turned on its own, letting me observe her tending a woman who's skin was peeled off most of her back.

"Can't you see I'm..." Odette exclaimed, throwing her free hand towards the door, which did not budge. She turned on her heel, eyes widening when she observed my wide, solid stance in the doorway, lips immediately curling into a small grin. "I understand. Take what you need. It's not wise to resist Her call," the words were spoken carefully, as if not to spook me, before Odette resumed her delicate work of putting the injured woman back together.

Without a word, I finished packing and left through the front door, not needing more than my scarf and my light sweater to keep me from the freezing gusts of wind. My very core was the centrefold of an active volcano, bursting with white-hot bursts of energy as I approached the injured people on my way towards the terrible screeching noise.

This far out, most of the injured were able to make it to Odette's or to the other healer, who's name I had found out only then, but they were thankful for the water I offered them. Not once did they question me: my star-patterned scarf, out of all things, had become somewhat of a symbol for me among the different folk. Mutants approached me fearlessly, giving generous updates on the direction of the battle and the hotspots I probably should have avoided.

The louder the screeching noises grew, the more people needed my help. The stops took longer, my painkillers were becoming a short supply, the main relief provided by a couple of mid-range, mid-strength energy manipulating mutants that began to tail me after I offered to patch them up in exchange for help with the injured.

It was as if I instinctually knew where I was most needed, my decisions were seldom my own. Me and the two mutants bid a haste goodbye after loading up their truck with the injured, although deep inside, I knew that the amount of corpses, bloody and messy, littering the streets had begun to get to them. In a normal state of mind, I would not have been able to look at them either: then, each mangled, broken body only added fuel to the fire within me.

As I stepped foot in an intersection where someone had piled up bent and broken cars, the shadow flying over my head shrieked, taking a fluid nose dive towards another, smaller flying figure. I dropped flat on the ground, the contents of my backpack clattering, watching the small figure in the sky blast the beast with an off-blue ray of concentrated energy. As soon as the creature began it's graceless drop, Tony turned around and flew off, looking none worse for wear.

At the very centre of my chest, a faint feeling of fondness and hope blossomed into tiny little flowers that soothed the aching sorrow for the dead. Each warcry of the beasts from another world fed the anger, the anguish Gaia seemed to exhibit at their intrusion; the revolt I felt upon laying my eyes on one of them made me sweat, hands clenching into fists until my skin crawled under my nails.

The last part of me that wanted to pretend I was in control was gone; my soft, untrained body a mere vessel for a force stronger than me, stronger than anything. Noise around me grew in pitch, some of the creatures circling around my hiding spot cluelessly, aimlessly, as if they could not find what they were looking for.

I moved spots in a daring series of runs, bringing me almost to the portal itself, and the hellish lizards dived into my previous sanctuary, shattering the concrete and the wood of the house under the amused black stares of glassless windows.

The realization set it - they could not see me. Or perceive me properly, I deduced, inspecting the creatures for any sort of orifice except for their mouths and finding them to lack eyes and ears.

My own stare fell onto Sorcerer Supreme, floating amongst a variety of moving golden circles; I was close enough to hear him talking in a language I did not know. Wanda was hovering nearby, holding up a wall of red energy, protecting the chanting sorcerer.

A united screech invoked a shiver from every living being within it's reach, the creatures circling the portal for the last time before flying off in haphazard directions as the portal slowly began to close. I was prepared to cheer, yet, something stopped me; not a second later, the circles surrounding Stephen dimmed as the man himself jumped up onto his feet in alarm, screaming something unintelligible at the Scarlet Witch.

The overturned food cart I was hiding behind slowly began to creep towards the portal. A couple of rats, a pigeon - the animals flew in front of my eyes, rapidly, as they struggled against the unseen force. My hands grasped the handlebars of the cart in vain, I struggled against the force, seeing a moment of confusion on Wanda's face as I floated- no, rocketed past her as Stephen's golden magic forcefully pushed her out of the portal's reach.

It's size no bigger than a doorway, the vile thing blew cold, dry air under my sweater, muffling Stephen's cursing as we briefly collided during our violent expulsion into another world.

And then, there was darkness.

Taglist! @couldntbedamned @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins2 @mostly-marvel-musings @persephonehemingway @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites @xoxabs88xox

#practical alchemy #bun writes #tony stark x reader #stephen strange x reader #tony stark x reader x stephen strange #stephen strange x reader x tony stark

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