#bts level of restraint

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

dark and dangerous, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

you were the love of my life the darkness, the light this is a portrait of a tortured you and I is this the end? – up in the air by thirty seconds to mars

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; blind reader; hitman!au (basically John Wick universe; I was inspired by Donnie Yen's character Caine); violence + body disfiguration from violence; reader being forced + blackmailed back to service; tbh, many feels; smut (fem reader, choking / erotic asphyxiation, ink appreciation, a lot of sensual touching, slight D/s due to the situation, mild restraint, cowgirl); non-idol!BTS - retired hitwoman!reader x current hitman!JK; sub!JK; JK’s POV

--

He hadn’t seen her in a long time.

Time was a bitch.

She had defied it in some ways, as he knew she would. Pristine, glossy waves of hair cascading down her left shoulder. Longer than he had ever seen it. Gleaming skin, with that little mole under the right side of her lower lip. A little prefect imperfection under a perpetual faint smile. Blouse with a ruffled collar. Clean black longline trench. That was all he could see from this angle, above the bobbing heads of the packed train car. They were both forced to stand, along with many others. No free seats available. Her shoulders were forward, as if her hands were resting in front of her body. Not holding on to any railing, her back only vaguely leaning against the steel pole.

She wore dark-tinted glasses now.

Cat-eye-shaped, with silver accents. Actually, probably palladium. She had expensive taste.

The train approached a tunnel.

There was chattering, but mostly it was the low buzz of the general public. A mass gathered but not interacting. Passengers politely in their own worlds with the collective backdrop of a thundering train speeding through carved darkness.

The gunshot tore through the murmur.

Everyone began screaming.

He was standing in the corner of the train car, towards the door. Looking very much like a businessman ready to punctually take his leave, and suddenly he was one of the many flattened against the metal walls, crushed past the doors and into the train map. The mass became one. Earsplitting panic ricocheting. The awareness of being contained, confined, trapped, heightening and getting louder. He paid attention to none of it, instead narrowing his eyes and focusing on the way the crowd parted, right at the center.

Right where the woman in dark-tinted glasses was standing.

Her body was ever-so-slightly turned.

It must have been less than a second.

It was so fast that he barely had a chance to see the crouching man with arm extended, and then there was another blast of sound. The fear pitched, piercingly sharp. Instant, whirling black as she closed the distance. Long, thin, rod-like, rising. He finally found out what she kept in her hands in front of her body.

Thwack!

The sound cracked through the air as startlingly as the gunshots. Even faster, perhaps, because there was no hesitation. The untrained eye would be unable to keep up, but he was no untrained eye – one strike, onto the hand, where the delicate bone of the thumb was immediately snapped. The gun flew out of his hand and into the crowd, causing more alarmed screeching as people stampeded away from it, throwing themselves against the sealed doors. The disarmed gunman had no time to shriek. Two strikes to the arm and he was crumpling. Two more. Shoulder, head bowing as the body involuntarily cowered to protect itself and the last, side of the head behind the ear.

The gunman hit the floor with a crunch, groaning wetly.

The hysteria was racing towards critical level, but the train slowed and the doors burst open despite the mechanical reminder to stand back. No one noticed. No one cared. Flinging themselves out, scrambling over each other, clawing to be the first ones to escape. Crying, tripping, running, and then.

Silence.

“The doors are closing. Please stand back.”

The whirr reinstated after the doors closed and the train began moving again. A metal shell was oblivious to human terror.

The woman in dark glasses remained.

There was a gleam of silver towards the top of her cane. Something wicked hiding within.

Her hand shifted and snapped it shut.

She flipped the cane in her hand, the bulbous handle pointing downward.

The man on the ground grunted, shifting.

Crack!

Completely still now.

The gun was still on the floor, all the way to the other side of the car.

The woman stood in the middle. The cane in her hand flipped back to its correct alignment, the tip rapping the floor. It moved forward, to the body, poking it several times. Gingerly. Her lips twisted into a pout of discomfort, muttering something under her breath that sounded like, just one, the disrespect, and she crouched down, sweeping her coat aside.

Ping. Ping.

A familiar sound.

She stuck her hand out and calmly patted down the fallen man. There was a distinct tapping motion rather than a grazing along the body. Manicured nails, and then those nimble fingers flitted under the collar of the jacket her assailant was wearing. An exhale and she pulled, hard, plucking something from the body. A small metal disc, no more than a couple centimeters, with an engraving on it. It looked like a stylized ’S’ with flowers made of blade-like petals.

Her thumb ran across the surface.

“Fuck,” she spat.

Then she tucked the pin into the inside of her coat.

The woman in dark glasses stood back up and tapped the floor with the black cane again. This process had taken about a minute. The train was still moving, onto the next stop. The cane struck the linoleum, repeatedly, against the seats and the metal poles, the tinkering echoing in the cabin.

Stopped.

Shit.

The woman tilted her head slowly, then faced his direction.

“And here I thought you were stupid,” she said, her voice loud and clear, directed to the corner he was standing in. “But actually you were just being courteous to the disabled, hm?”

The black cane turned, silent, the stance of the hand holding it altering from exploratory to predatory.

He had two choices.

Talk or get his ass kicked by an expert of ass-kicking.

He settled on saying, “Not a warning shot.”

She froze.

Still wary and on high alert, but no longer an arrow pulled to the brink against the string of the bow. He saw the twitch of one of her eyebrows.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she hissed in icy annoyance. Her shoulders lowered and her head ticked back. The body language equivalent of rolling one’s eyes. The dark glasses remained though. “Why the fuck are you here? I’m retired.”

He didn’t move from his corner. The tip of that cane was blunt but he just watched her take out a man in five hits. That thing wasn’t made out of plastic – and he was pretty sure it was sheathing a blade. No thanks. “And still getting shot at.”

“I said I was retired, not uninteresting,” she retorted, stance relaxing. He let out the breath he had been holding. “Answer my question.” She rapped the floor sharply and his body immediately snapped to attention.

He should have listened to his superiors.

“Why are you here, Jeon Jungkook?”

Leave the information to be found. Do not engage with the target.

The last time Jungkook saw her, she still had sight.

He let out a soft sigh.

“The Elders are giving you a name.”

The dark tint of those sunglasses did nothing to hide the vicious distaste behind them.

“Tell the Elders to shove the name up their collective assholes,” she growled, but he was already walking forward and the cane was pulling back, poised at an angle at her side.

“I didn’t want to come,” Jungkook said, and it came out quieter and more helpless than he thought it would.

The anger in her expression wiped clean.

The Elders, his superiors, were not to be trifled with.

She tucked her tongue in her cheek as he reached into his suit jacket. It was made an unpatented combination of fibers, the latest in cutting-edge bulletproof fabric. Couldn’t really patent shit made for the general public to not know. He suspected her coat and slacks were made of the same material, which explained the pinging noise earlier.

Old habits die hard.

“I’m blind. Not stupid,” she muttered.

She held her hand out, but her face wasn’t quite in his direction.

He placed the black card with a series of raised dots.

She swiftly pulled it back, not allowing his hand to linger. Mashed it against the top of the cane. He noticed the orb-shaped handle was an intricately carved piece of silver metal. Vines? No, more like stylized lines of water. Or fire. There was a creature within those lines, inset, making it look like it was huddled within.

A bunny.

Her fingertip pressed into the black cardstock. Stopped in between, only halfway. Then pressed on even though they both knew the name on there. He couldn’t read braille but he could read her pissed-off expression pretty well.

She let out a huff.

“Really.”

It wasn’t a question.

“He betrayed us.”

“Like I couldn’t have told you that sooner,” she breathed out in a vengeful exhale. “I warned them. I warned them against taking that American snake’s money. They didn’t listen to me. Took my eyes instead. And now they gave me a name? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

He really did not want to see her angry but there was no other reaction she could have.

The train was calling, indicating the next stop was coming.

Jungkook opened his mouth, a single syllable of her name escaping his throat.

The cane shot up and jammed into his chin. Bruising pain. Shut him up and made him jerk back, but she pressed forward, lowering her head, still not quite looking at him, and that was the worst, her not being able to look at him even though she was doing the equivalent of that.

Just…

Differently.

“Young gun,” she sighed, and the hole in his chest tore open a little more upon hearing the nickname she had for him long ago. Back when they were not quite friends on the surface, because this life that they chose didn’t allow for that, but friends nonetheless in the moments that counted. “If they sent you, that means you should stay away from me.”

“They didn’t send me,” Jungkook admitted and he could smell her perfume.

Sweet.

Familiar.

In the past, it had clung to his skin sometimes.

Her head tilted.

The train was slowing, announcement crackling up above. They would have to get off. Can’t be near a body with brain damage and a gun. He spoke softly to the thin air between them.

"I picked up the task with the last messenger was… interrupted. I happened to be closest.”

Silence.

There was the faintest tick at the corner of her lips. She removed her cane from his chin.

“Happened to be closest,” she echoed.

Her voice like smoke curling in the darkness.

“Hm.”

The train stopped.

The doors slid open.

She backed up and turned away. The cane tapped from side to side. Side to side, a rhythm and routine of finding the opened doors. The mechanical announcement called above their heads. He watched her stride away confidently, a stricken feeling in his chest, remembering something she used to whisper to him in the dark, I love looking at you, curling smoke all around them as scarred fingertips slid up his naked forearm.

She stopped at the exit.

“Don’t follow me.”

Walked out.

Jungkook followed.

-

“How’s your father?”

“I told you not to follow me.”

They were standing at a crosswalk and he was behind her. Not that close but close enough. She stayed close to the pole where repeated beeps indicated it was not safe to cross yet. Cars zipped by. For some reason, Jungkook found them unnaturally loud and violent even though he had never thought that about cars before.

“He’s fine.”

He glanced at her face but there was no expression.

“Still has dementia, still gambles and milks every cent out of the old folks in the retirement complex. You would think he would ease up once he’s struggling to remember the people in his life but, nope, he’s completely content with only knowing how to kick your ass in poker.”

There was a resonance of bitterness in those words but, also, a feeling long gone.

She ticked her head. “They keep him alive to remind me he doesn’t remember I exist. Least he pays his own bills with his habits.”

It was safe to cross now.

He watched the cane sway and tap. She walked calmly and with ease. Maybe even a swagger. It relaxed him as he fell in step.

“You do what you know,” he commented, his eyes darting, taking in his surroundings.

“I really try not to, young gun.”

They walked briskly along the streets. She turned this way and that, stopping once at a fruit stand to buy some apples. The merchant accepted the bills handed to him. She asked if it was enough. Jungkook saw it was more than enough. The merchant replied it was the exact amount. She hummed and stepped away before Jungkook could say anything. He hurried after, and she immediately turned and walked right into a laundromat.

The repeated thump-thump-thump of whirring washing machines and dryers radiated all around them as people fought with their duvets and swore under their breath.

“You overpaid,” Jungkook hissed, stepping closer.

“Such is life,” was her reply. She chuckled, tap, tap tapping away, hitting the edges of the machines but not a single person seemed to notice or care, too busy hurling themselves into the large cavities to yank out their sopping garments. “I do it sometimes just to see if they’ll correct me. They don’t.”

He frowned and made a mental note of the man’s face.

Just in case.

She held delicately to the bag of apples and shouldered her way into the back double doors.

Kept walking, through the back of the laundromat, into the alleys, and now the faces here were different. Keen, sharp gazes that ignored her presence but immediately narrowed upon seeing Jungkook, looking him up and down. Men and women, in musty coats and worn-out gloves with holes in them, backpacks and carts. A complete turnaround from his sharp three-piece suit and neatly parted hair. She breezed past, the apples rustling in the plastic bag, skimming her cane along the concrete, not quite looking exactly forward. Her head was slightly tilted; one ear closer to him.

“I told you not to follow me,” she chuckled.

“I see that,” Jungkook let himself say, calmly and without emotion.

“I don’t,” she quipped back.

There was a lightness to her tone that indicated there was no danger as long as he kept his hands to himself. He continued to follow.

Someone on his right reached out and shoved him.

The cane whipped through the air, swatting Jungkook’s left arm and pinning it to his body. He grimaced, feeling the solid stripe of pain, noticing her movement had stopped his body from colliding with another in this narrow alley. The woman to his left glared at him, grinding her teeth. The shove hadn’t hurt.

It was just disrespectful as hell.

What had been previous tense silence erupted into malicious sniggers.

Droning all around.

Jungkook gritted his teeth and pushed his anger down.

Her head jerked like a hawk.

“You know the rules,” she warned to the air. “You upset me and I will take your offering from the shrine and then there will be nothing to protect you.”

The sniggering immediately died.

Now the silence wasn’t tense.

It was fear.

She removed her cane from Jungkook’s arm and swung it in an arc. Slowly.

Stopping.

Jungkook didn’t have to turn his head. He heard the sharp intake of breath. Hard not to in the terrified hush. He didn’t say anything. He let her handle it. If he reacted, there would be cracked skulls. He had a feeling that the woman in dark glasses would be a lot more pissed at him if that was the case. He did not want to make her angry. It seemed like a bad idea.

She whacked the tip of the cane against the brick wall.

Everyone flinched.

Even Jungkook felt a muscle in his shoulder twitch, reacting to the loud, piercing sound.

She turned back around and continued walking.

No one bothered them after that.

They finally turned and stopped at a makeshift shrine in the middle of the maze of alleys. It seemed to be a clearing point. An intersection of sorts, where a group of buildings were sequestered awkwardly due to poor planning. Someone had created a structure in the middle of this chaos with a shingled roof and a statue in the center surrounded by a sandy pit of burnt incense sticks. There was a wall behind it, with strips of paper tacked on, fronted by tables overflowing with fruit and cellophane-packaged boxes.

She placed the bag down and it tumbled against a stack of oranges, one red apple spilling out of the plastic and hitting some pears.

Jungkook stepped up and corrected it.

She faced the papers. They flapped about like ducks crowding a lake, not in the wind but in the hot air blasting out a vent from of one of the buildings. She made a noise that sounded like disapproval and irritation mixed together. Turned and walked purposefully away, running her cane along the cracks of the concrete.

Jungkook followed once more as she stepped out, following a walkway between two buildings.

Stopped.

There was a door to their right, inset within the walls. Or, not a door. He frowned. Instead of a handle, there was an odd dent in this part of the wall that seemed to cave inward. She paused, tapping the cane along the ground. There was a hollow sound, and Jungkook looked down to see some metal tiles littered against the door. She stepped forward, treading along the otherwise meaningless metal sealed into the concrete. She slid the cane up in her hand, gripping below the rounded handle.

The orb made of swirls around a bunny.

She raised it and with surprising accuracy, within two taps against the door, slid the orb into the dent.

There was a whirr and a click.

The door slid open, a strip of light appearing on the ground.

She stepped inside.

Jungkook followed.

“What if you lose your cane?” he wondered out loud.

The door slid closed after they entered.

“There’s another way to get in, obviously,” she tutted. “All I have to do is bleed on it.”

A hollow silence.

They were in darkness except for the thin line of light at the bottom of the door.

“I…”

“Don’t need to talk,” she interrupted. “I need to shower and then pack some things. Wait.”

She stepped out of her shoes and placed the cane against the wall beside them. Felt along shoulder height, pressing switches. Stripes of light gleamed from above and below the walls, along the edges and sides. He had to pause to take it in. Black ceilings with brocade-patterned obsidian wallpaper where the designs were glossy compared to the matte background. A squishy-looking coffee-colored leather couch, a huge sound system bolted to the wall above an electric fireplace, bobbly blankets stuffed in a basket. No television, no coffee table. A large, empty space behind this area with a large set of dark wood armories along the wall. To his right, a kitchen with dark granite countertops that had similar notable differences than what he was used to. When she walked, she followed the lines of light along the ground.

“I’m sorry,” he called after her.

She stopped.

“I should have…”

“Shut up, young gun.”

She didn’t sound angry or pissed off.

She just sounded tired and that was worse.

“You couldn’t have done anything. This is the life we have.”

“I should have tried to find you,” Jungkook pleaded to that back, to that longline black coat and graceful legs. Dancer’s legs, he used to think, so nimble and quick that he could never keep up. He had been a little envious of how lithe she was back then. Aroused at how she always struck with such poise, something he wasn’t good at. He preferred brute force. Learned outmaneuvering from watching her move, often. It was addicting, watching her move, and he had found himself wanting more.

He hadn’t expected this would be the result.

She reached up in one smooth motion and removed her sunglasses. Placed them on the kitchen island.

The palladium on the edges of the dark lenses glammed.

“You wouldn’t have found me.”

She turned.

Starburst eyelashes surrounding white, mottled irises framed by twisted scar tissue.

A faint, emotionless smile.

“Can’t find a shadow when they’re all around you, Jungkook.”

-

He breathed in.

The bed smelled just like her. Her perfume, mixed with fabric softener, and there was that indescribable scent that could only be described as his perception of her. The smell that didn’t change despite the perfume, the smell he breathed in now with his back flat on the mattress, the smell that only he knew because its effect on him was different from everyone else. It was an experience. It was memories. It was…

Jeon Jungkook breathed in, laying on her bed as she showered.

He hadn’t asked. Probably should have. His arms were spread out with the backs of his hands touching the duvet. His black jacket and vest were draped on the pale chestnut-colored velvet armchair next the bed. At least he had kept his dress shirt and necktie on. He had thought about removing them. Letting his bare skin touch the folded duvet, even slip under to be against the sheets, but even he had a limit to his insanity.

He had thought about it though.

Maybe would have done it if she meant a little less.

He had missed her smell. He inhaled again. The last time he memorized it, she still had sight. It had been so long. Time was a bitch. His hands turned. The duvet was made of a cool, creamy linen. He closed his eyes, fingertips grazing the soft fabric, something satisfying about the wrinkled texture, organic, imagining their body lines pressed against it.

He bunched the fabric in his fists.

Let go, sighing.

For not the first time, Jungkook wondered how it could have been different.

He hadn’t missed the details. All of the furniture in this home had rounded corners. Lines of light streamed throughout every room, clearly indicating all the corners and edges of the walls. There were little speakers positioned discreetly, waiting for her command. No mirrors anywhere. No windows. Hole in the wall that no one was supposed to know was here, although Jungkook was sure the Elders somehow knew. Or guessed. Sometimes one didn’t need to have full information to cause enough disruption. He gritted his teeth even though he understood why she hadn’t been in touch.

The rage within him, from witnessing how she now lived, was beyond violent.

Careful there, young gun.

This was Korea but Jungkook was eager to introduce the Elders to the language of Columbian neckties.

You’re so reckless. I like that about you.

He was of the belief that he could handle the details later. The reality was that he was just very lucky to meet certain people in this business of killing for hire. People who saw something in him, whatever it was. Youth. Energy. Power. He was coasting a little because of his looks.

That was part of playing the game, too.

He liked playing the game. It had been a necessity once, and now he liked it. Because of ego. Because he had a natural talent for it. Because there was a time where he believed there were no rules – but the rules were always there, a silken web underneath his feet. In this business, one didn’t get to decide to work for the Elders.

The Elders decided when you worked for them.

Crossing paths was inevitable.

He had almost hated it. And then he met her. Same business. Different approach when it came to dealing with the cards that had been dealt. A moment that meant everything. Pivotal. Fate. Guns crossed and he knew. He knew the moment he looked into her eyes.

Jungkook turned his head and inhaled again, drenching his lungs with her scent.

Opened his eyes.

She was gliding into the bedroom, a long, dark maroon silk robe flaring out against her legs. Her hand was following the wall, three fingertips grazing against the black wallpaper. Skin gleaming, hair pinned in large, soft curlers, head tilted to one side. The silk clung to her shoulders, her breasts, her hips, and then she turned, facing the dresser.

Her hands lifted, finding the glided edges of the dark wood, stroking the intricate profile of inlaid silver.

“If I didn’t know better, I would be creeped out right now,” she chuckled.

He sat up.

“Do you know better?”

He didn’t know how he wanted that to sound, but those words escaped with an edge of uncertainty.

On the dresser was a plate with a perfume and a collection of faceted crystals. Her hand was dancing upward, following the surface, finding the dark glass bottle. He didn’t understand the meaning of the various stones, but for some reason he didn’t think they were there for a spiritual reason.

Those thoughts were confirmed as her other hand drifted over them, following the edges.

“You’re simple, young gun.”

She doused herself with sprays of spicy gourmand.

Exhaled, satisfied.

He could smell it from here and it made him ravenous.

“And not that subtle,” she added, smooth and biting.

Silence.

Neither of them moved.

Jungkook found that despite the carnal instincts eating up in the cavity of his ribcage, he wasn’t sure if he wanted her to turn around. Knotted lines and white orbs. He grimaced and hoped it was silent. Still, he didn’t look away from her back, his skin burning all over with festering shame and guilt.

She shifted her weight, accenting the delicious curve of her hip.

Dark silk molded to those body lines.

Yeah, Jungkook was sure that he didn’t want to stop looking.

“Are you supposed to be accompanying me?” she asked.

He could lie. “I’ve been assigned to be your eyes.”

She snorted.

He would have followed anyway, orders or not. The orders were there to both torment and annoy him. Well, the level of pain depended on how he felt about the situation, he knew. And that depended on how he could navigate this moment, right now. Currently the status was, not well. Her back still facing him after all.

“Stupid motherfuckers.”

“Yeah.”

He smiled despite himself. It was funny and familiar, her swearing. He noticed the pin with the lotus and the stylized ‘S’ in her hand now. She ran her thumb over it. There was a tension in her shoulders. He didn’t recognize that symbol and that bothered him.

“I thought you were retired?”

She hummed, tapping the metal against the wood. “I am. I got bored. Gotta pick up hobbies, you know.”

“I could pick up your hobby,” he offered.

She chuckled again, placing the pin down and sliding it to between white crystals. “Sadly, I think that fun will have to wait. I’m being called to service and all that shit.”

Silence again.

It was hard to know how much time passed though. Time almost didn’t seem real in within these walls.

She broke it.

“Don’t you want to get out?”

He took a moment.

“The Elders would have called you back eventually.”

He let that statement hang in the air.

“Tracking was never your strong suit.”

Yeah, it wasn’t.

“Now it’s not mine either.”

Jungkook winced and hoped she couldn’t hear it. Her head ticked. Sigh.

“My fucked-up eyes bother you?”

“No.” Shit. He said that way too fast. “I don’t think you’re ugly.”

“That wasn’t what I asked, Jungkook.”

Her words cut through him, razor-sharp and accurate. He withered despite not being viewed.

“You know the Elders suspected you might intercept. They’re old, not dumb.” He did know. He still didn’t say anything. He struggled to say it out loud, but she had no trouble. “They are testing you. They will manipulate you no matter how you feel about it. The best way to avoid those puppet strings is to feel nothing at all. You are putting yourself in danger.”

It was unbearable, saying nothing.

“What about you?” he asked softly.

A pause.

He saw he index finger bounce silently on the edge of the dresser.

Her head turned a little more, the curlers holding her hair blocking the side of her face. She reached one and, one by one, removed them. Pulling out pins. Setting them on the dresser. Pulling out the soft curlers, setting the cylinders on the flat side so they didn’t roll away. Locks of hair cascading down, falling, falling, framing shoulders and back.

She ran a hand through her hair, sighing, separating the waves with her fingers.

Messy.

“I told you. I’m retired.”

His lips parted.

“Not uninteresting.”

The side of her mouth curved upward.

“You shouldn’t have intercepted the messenger.”

There was something about the way she said it. Teasing rather than chiding. And yet there was still that hesitation. He let his eyes roam over her partial side profile.

“I’ve been in danger from the day I met you,” Jungkook finally admitted and he didn’t mean his physical self.

From what he could see of her expression behind her hair was an amused one. “Shit. You’re gonna make me blush, young gun,” she snickered.

Her words had the opposite effect. He felt his neck heat and instantly reached back to rub it, trying not to let it show. Well, she couldn’t see anyway. After a split second of consideration, he let out the low noise of embarrassment. Her head lifted, hair shifting. He saw the side of her mouth soften to a faint smile.

“I wonder how you’ve changed,” she breathed out. “Can’t appreciate you like I used to.”

He still couldn’t quite see her eyes. They were covered by curls of hair shadowing her temples.

Jungkook let himself say her name the way he wanted to.

She didn’t move, still life wrapped in deep scarlet silk.

“I don’t believe you.”

He could see it now, the subtle change in her demeanor. Sharpened. He had said the words with a smile and she could tell. Tone or volume or both. If possible, more frightening now. More deadly. More of a weapon, which was why, he assumed, the mutilation was done rather than an execution.

“You’re blind. Not stupid,” he reminded her.

Her head and body turned.

The way her hair framed her face, only half done. The slim openings of the robe securely tied at the waist, exposing thin white scars and the raised marring of worse ones. Retired, sure, but not that long ago, and still honed in muscle and movement. She wasn’t that much older than him. She just called him young gun to get on his nerves a little. Had seniority over him in this business and all that. Pretty easy to have seniority when one was given to the Elders as a child.

Payment.

He wasn’t always a good gambler. We all start somewhere.

Jungkook stood up.

Those clouded orbs found the source of blocked light at the end of the bed. It was a different feeling, being the focal point knowing the other didn’t have sight. Unnerving was the wrong word. He was just very aware that he was the target of her senses. With sight, he realized, he had an inherent level of complacency. There were a lot of intricacies in a single glance. The concrete details mattered less than the contrast between what he expected versus what he didn’t expect.

Ah.

Her lips curved into a dangerous smirk.

He admired it.

She moved forward, silent.

“You do seem to have put on more muscle,” she hummed. “Heavy.”

“You always reminded me to remember to eat while on the job.” The direction of his voice. His breathing. “You’ve learned more skills. Scary.”

She grinned. “I’ve had some free time. Wait till you see me dual wield.”

She stopped in front of him.

Raised her head.

Jungkook found he saw a lot more when he looked into her scarred eyes than he ever expected.

“You have changed,” she murmured.

A faint smile.

“Y… Yeah,” he breathed back, the ache in his ribs rattling.

It was different.

She reached up and forward. Fingertips grazing his shirt, then finding the tie. Following it with two hands, carefully. Seeing. He tried to stay still. Focused on her face, the little smile when she found the tie clip, muttering under her breath, oh, you’ve become a little more of a man, huh, and her body language, relaxed. Comfortable. Details he would have ignored given different circumstances.

What else had he missed all this time?

He was still lacking in some areas, he realized.

She was unraveling his tie.

“I hope you have learned how to tie a tie by now.”

He hadn’t. “Nope.”

A laugh. “You hate them anyway.” She folded it in her hands and held it to the side. “Hold onto it for me. I might need it.”

His skin tingled, the sensation traveling up his back. Lifted his hand and let it linger, brushing past her callused knuckles, taking the necktie from her. A contrast from their past. This was a measured ferocity compared to a fast-paced chase. He ran his fingertips along her wrist, trailing off her forearm. She smiled and he felt it everywhere, in his blood and in his nerves, his world alight once more.

Skin-to-skin.

She raised her hands again and followed his shirt placket, starting from the top.

“I like this cologne.”

“You said it was your favorite.”

“You really can’t be subtle to save your life, can you, Jungkook?”

She teased him as easily as she teased the buttons from their restraints. He bit his lower lip, sucking in a breath.

“I’m really trying to be patient right now,” he gritted out.

She smiled again.

This was her smile she only showed him.

He was sure of it.

His shirt was halfway unbuttoned now. She leaned in, locks of hair curling over her shoulders, spreading the placket open with two fingers. Breathed out. The heated air washed over his chest, and he closed his eyes, shuddering, ignited desire shimmering in his raging blood. She did it again, but this time with his name.

“Jungkook…”

His head tipped back, lips parting, the low sound of clawing lust bubbling in his throat. His hands came up, tensely resting on her silken shoulders.

The rest of the buttons came undone as he himself unraveled.

Her hands slid in, fingers spreading over his flexed abdomen. Cool, careful, seeing him. He gasped, struggling to keep still. Exploring his scars, known and new. His shirt peeled back, tugging out of his slacks as she touched him. Along his sides, his chest. His nipples, and she flicked one, making him hiss and flinch. They hardened as she rubbed them.

“Still like that, hm.”

“S… Shut up.”

Her palms over his pectoral muscles, fingers fanning out.

“Been working out, haven’t you?”

His breathing was shallow. “Gotta pick up hobbies, you know.”

A soft laugh. She gently knocked back his arms, pushing the dress shirt off his shoulders. Confines, he concluded. Her fingertips paused on his right shoulder. He looked down, body on fire. Her lips were parted, pink tongue dancing on the edge of for lips.

“You have tattoos.”

Oh.

That was right. She hadn’t seen yet.

“Hobbies,” he snickered.

She turned her head, fingertips hesitating.

Jungkook reached up and pressed her hand to his arm.

“Please. Look.”

It was a strange, intoxicating sensation. Being touched like this, guiding her along. He murmured under his breath, describing them one by one. She could follow, especially the newer ones or the ones that were done over his scars. She lingered by the tiger lilies on the inside of his forearm. There was a patch of black there. Amusement flitting across her features. Continued down, following the outline another tattoo, tracing the eyelashes.

She cocked an eyebrow.

“I think I might change that one. In light of… events.”

Her cheek tightened in mirth. Just more confirmation that she was alarmingly acute in sensing tone and meaning beyond words.

“You’re unbelievable.”

He froze, feeling her other hand sliding up his back as the one he was holding slid down to his knuckles, caressing them as her lids lowered. Lines of scars, across starburst lashes and across his spine, closer, her fingers lacing with his, her chin lifting.

That small mole under the right side of her plush lower lip.

“You have goosebumps, Jungkook,” she purred, dragging her nails down his back.

He closed the distance.

Her scent all around him.

Her taste.

The fervor seeped into him when their lips connected, ravaging his senses and his thoughts, body to body. Nights and days, culminated memories bleeding into now, into the ferocity of their kiss, her fingers claiming his back and his in her hair, tangled in the mess, clasped hands below them, squeezing tight.

He thought he would never see her again.

Never hold, never touch, never breathe in her breath.

He was afraid too. Afraid it wouldn’t feel the same. Afraid their euphoria was broken by interference and ego. Afraid he was wrong, abut himself, about her, about them.

But he wasn’t.

Jungkook could tell.

She let go of his hand and wrapped it around his throat.

“I missed your taste,” she whispered into his moan, in between nicks of teeth and feathery kisses. “You know what makes someone dangerous?” Her grip tightened, pulling him down to her, red silk slipping off her shoulders. “When they have someone to die for.” Her lips traveling over his jaw, to his gasping mouth, his blood flow slowing as her fingers pressed into the sides of his neck. “When they have someone to live for.” Ravenous kiss, making his eyes roll back and his air disappear, lightheaded as he touched the exposed skin of her upper arm, knotted lines of scar tissue from a previous gunshot wound under his fingertips.

She murmured to his open mouth, husky voice a caress.

“When they have someone to kill for.”

He pressed his forehead to hers, his erection straining against his slacks, pressing it into her naked thigh.

“You…”

Jungkook stared into her white eyes and she reveled in the darkness, basking in his shadows, seeing all of him with all her other senses.

“You made me all three,” he gasped.

Her grip loosened and the blood rushed back, making his eyelids flutter and fire crawl up his scalp.

A resolved sigh.

“We are one and the same, you and I.”

His hands following the memorized lines across her back. The dark red silk pooling onto the floor. Her hand between them, stroking him through his clothes, choking him again. Pleasure seeping down his tense thighs, up his clenched abs. The pressure winding within his core, his lips trembling against her calm, so close to the perfect imperfection of that mole under a silver tongue.

“Guns just waiting to be aimed.”

-

She held down his wrists bound by his necktie.

Rammed her hips into his and he hissed, back arching, bouncing on the mattress. Torn condom wrapper on the floor by their discarded clothes. Saliva drying on the inside of his hard thighs still tingling from bites. Her other hand pressed down on his chest, pushing him back into place. Fuck, so tight. So wet, constricting around his cock, the swollen head throbbing against her pulsing walls.

Her face was directed to the side.

Seeing with her ears.

He groaned, feeling her hips rock, building the pace deliberately, squeezing every centimeter. Fuck. He pressed his head into the pillows, black strands invading his vision. His own hair a mess. Whimpers threatening to break free. She raked her fingernails over his chest, teasing his hardened nipples. Toying with him. Rolling her hips as he thrust up, a vain attempt to fight back.

Her fingers fanned over his wrists, palm pressing down on the knot.

“I’ve missed your sound,” she shuddered, her hand on his chest sliding to his collarbones.

Her nail scraped against his Adam’s apple, sparking electricity through his veins.

“Just… fuck… choke me, please.”

The side of her lips twisted into a smirk.

“I’ll wrap my hand around your neck.”

So tight, with love.

Her grip closed in, causing the fire to prickle over his skin, up his cheeks and down his spine. Limited oxygen, heightened awareness, pleasure flowing to every core, bound at the wrists but finally free, losing himself to the sound of connected bodies and swirling moans, to the shock of firm, wet slaps between hips, to the scent of sex weighing down the air, soaking it, to the taste of iron as he chewed on his lower lip, whines leaking out between his teeth, deeper, harder, faster.

His vision hazed, edges smoking with black.

Her chin tipped down.

Clouded white.

He was exposed, torn open and ripped apart by that gaze that was no more.

He could barely force the words out, the ache in his ribs pooling down, down.

“Take… me…”

She breathed in, seeing all of him.

“Fuck, you feel good.”

She let go of his wrists and layered both her hands over his throat, choking him harder and fucking him into the mattress. Air gone, his eyes rolling back, vision black, power radiating in every thrust, and he felt her body weight shift downward, fingertips digging into the sides of his neck, hopefully leaving bruises, his resolve cracking, slick walls around him throbbing in their shared pulse, there.

“F-Fuck!”

He rammed his hips up and the orgasm shot through him in shattering bolts, through his burning muscle and his empty lungs, his cock jerking, and then – release – his voice returning in a hoarse moan, another wave slamming into him, another level, creating a ripple effect throughout his nerves that electrified him, burning, gasping, his spine locked in an arc, hearing her exhale his name in a wanton hiss, clenching, spasms, sweet and sticky between their thighs.

His tongue extended, tasting the air, their passion palpable and pungent.

His body was trembling so much he was sure she could feel it even through her hands flat on the bed next to his head. She raised one, tracing his trembling jaw. Ran the pad of her fingertip over his quivering lips. Her name came out in a weak rasp, hot and shaking against her touch.

And yet he wanted her hands around his throat again.

How he missed that feeling.

“Jungkook…”

She saw with her hands. In scent and sound. In previous knowledge, and she knew his body so well, his heat and his hunger. Bondage was temporary. Trust was forever. She could mark him in bites and in scratches, but her scars were in the cavity of his ribs, in his heart that still yearned and in hers that she kept from him to protect them from becoming tools against the other.

Jungkook was afraid.

But he had someone to die for, to live for, to kill for.

And that made him dangerous.

So the Elders could try to rip them apart, but he was sure now that they would go down causing irreversible damage.

She ran her hands over his heaving chest.

“I’m not doing this stupid assignment until I’ve made up for lost time,” she panted, warning sharpness to her tone.

He smirked.

“I was hoping you would say that.”

--

masterpost

[metacrisisdoctor]

If Doomsday did not happen do you think Ten & Rose relationship would have go down a similar route like Clara and Twelves? That they would have become dependent on each other in a toxic way resulting in bad things?

this is an interesting question and i think about it a lot.

honestly, yes and no.

i do like seeing the similarities in the doctor's relationship with clara: met him after a huge loss, sees him regenerate, has a boyfriend back home but longs for more etc.

what i find most interesting is that twelveclara is almost an inversion of tenrose. where tenrose are soft, warm and cuddly twelveclara have all these these hard edges but there is a lot of love in both of these relationships.

i think the difference is because with the doctor and rose they get to this place where he wants to be human like her, which causes him pain because he never thinks he can- until he does. with twelveclara, i don't think the doctor wants to be human anymore, but i do think clara has a sense of superiority over humanity and wants to "rise" to the doctor's level, which of course isn't what he ever wants and that drives them apart despite how much he loves her.

i do think that if rose had stayed with the doctor his life would have been fundamentally different and it would be dangerous but for different reasons, because he never would've sent her away. i think she would have stayed until she grew old and changed and changed and eventually died either traumtically or of old age. and this would have broken him in ways i do not think he would have been able to come back from. with rose the doctor has essentially found what he was always searching for (as we see in the satan pit) and if he had had her for 50-80 years and then lost her, i think we would be looking at the timelord victorious x1000. you can imagine he would have been okay after she died of old age and carried on in her name, but i don't think that's realistic.

that said, the similarity they would have had with twelve and clara would have definitely been the whole "how far i have gone, for fear of losing you." which is essentially the doctor saying that this person has become more important than being the doctor and THAT is worrisome. there is a bts comment about the idiot's lantern where david said that saving rose had started to become more important to him than saving the world and that is why he restrained himself with her, but that restraint absolutely WAS slipping and i'm 1000% certain they would have been together (as in had sex, maybe got married etc) if doomsday hadn't happened and the consequences of that are really interesting to think about. because they would have been absolutely unbelievably happy for a while, but not forever: because forever simply does not exist for the doctor which we see with clara.

[efrost]

Hosted PBX Market Is Likely to Experience a Tremendous Growth in Near Future

A Latest intelligence report published by AMA Research with title "Global Hosted PBX Market Outlook to 2027. This detailed report on Hosted PBX Market provides a detailed overview of key factors in the Global Hosted PBX Market and factors such as driver, restraint, past and current trends, regulatory scenarios and technology development.

Hosted PBX (private branch exchange) is a cloud based system which can be accessed via IP network and managed by third party service providers. This IP based telephony solution is managed off-site thus requires no maintenance. Additionally, it provides enterprises the ability to manage their phone system with the help of control panel.

Major Players in this Report Include are

AT&T [United States]

BT Group [United Kingdom]

Cisco Systems [United States]

8x8 [United States]

Avaya [United States]

Megapath [United States]

Centurylink [United States]

Polycom [United States]

Mitel Networks [Canada]

Ringcentral [United States]

Comcast Business [United States]

XO Communications [United States]

Ozonetel [India]

Nexge Technologies [United States]

Bullseye Telecom [United States]

TPX Communications [United States]

Telesystem [Canada]

Oneconnect [United States]

Interglobe Communications [United States]

3CS [Turkey]

Star2star Communications [United States]

Nextiva [United States]

Novolink Communications [United States]

Datavo [United States]

Digium [United States] Market Drivers: Growing Enterprise Mobility

Growing Adoption of Cloud and Unified Communication

No Up Front Capital Expenditures

Market Trend: Integration With More Advanced Communication

More Enterprise-Level Functionality

Better Integration With Business Apps

Opportunities: Growing Telecom Cloud Adoption

Rising Web based Real-Time Communications system

The Global Hosted PBX Market segments and Market Data Break Down by Type (Virtual Deployment and Setup, Network Traffic Management, Virtual Assistance and Support, Configuration and Change Management, Bandwidth Management and Optimization, Online Charging Services, Emergency Call Routing Services, Compliance Management Services, Protocol Management Services), Application (IT, BFSI, Healthcare, Manufacturing, Retail, Government and Public Sector, Education, Others), Services (Network Services, Managed Services, Security Services, Unified Communications, Cloud & IT Services.), Organization Size (Small and Medium-Size Enterprises (SMEs), Large Organizations)

Geographically World Hosted PBX markets can be classified as North America, Europe, Asia Pacific (APAC), Middle East and Africa and Latin America. North America has gained a leading position in the global market and is expected to remain in place for years to come. The growing demand for Global Hosted PBX markets will drive growth in the North American market over the next few years.

Presented By

AMA Research & Media LLP

[lemonjoonah]

Hey, I just stumbled across your blog and read Level of Restraint. Can I just say it terrified me? Like in a good way. I was not expecting that end and I was reading it in a room with a somewhat ominous setting. And I was just left terrified. Your writing is so great and I am making my way through the rest of your work. I love your stories and wish you all the best. Take love.

ASHDHFJGJ THANK YOU SO MUCH! 🥰😘

Oooh reading with proper ambiance?! That’s a great way to consume Level of Restraint, but I can also see how that would be low key terrifying 😅. LoR!Jimin is not someone I’d want to meet in a creepy setting 💀.

Wishing you the best too, and happy reading! 😊

[lemonjoonah]

Omg these tags 😱😳😂 you didn’t did you?! 😂😂😂 you are absolutely amazing you know that? I don’t deserve you 🥺🥰😘❤️❤️❤️❤️.

anyone: *breathes*

me, screaming: BUT HAVE YOU READ LEVEL OF RESTRAINT BY @lemonjoonah

[amoc94]

My Yandere BTS Fanfic Recommendation.

.

Read the warning carefully. As with any yandere story, expect some gory scenes, non consensual / dubious consensual sex, some dark kinks. (Everything under the term, you know the risk).

.

Minors DNI 🔞

.

If you hope for more stories from those authors, please do something to support them. By giving shout out, comments, and reblog their works. It's how tumblr works, people.

.

Damn, been a while since I updated this list. Now finally got the time to read again.

.

For non yandere recommendation, check full Navi here.

.

1. Allurement , Yandere Namjoon. Series of Drabbles, Slick and deceptive yandere CEO Namjoon.

2. Beloved, long oneshot. Yandere King Min Yoongi - My all time favorite, if you like asian historical dark romance, you'll love this.

3. Excitus Acta Probat, oneshot. Soft Yandere, Mafia Yoongi, feat. OT7.

4. The Tarot Series, A Collection of yandere oneshots based on Tarot Card.

5. Charming, oneshot. Cinderella AU, obsessive Prince Park Jimin. This is very beautiful the way the author describe the scenes and everything.

6. Ultimatum, miniseries. Yandere Sugar Daddy Taehyung, feat. Jimin.

7. Case Closed, miniseries. Yandere Detective Namjoon.

8. Boys Don't Cry, miniseries. Yandere husband Yoongi, feat. Hoseok.

9. Beastly Gods, oneshot. Yandere hybrid Taehyung, feat OT7.

10. Level of Restraint, long oneshot. Office AU, Yandere Jimin and Namjoon. BDSM undertone.

11. Something Wicked, series. Yandere CEO Seokjin.

12. Let The Villain Win, oneshot. Yandere thriller writer Namjoon.

13. Baby Mine, oneshot. Yandere mafia Yoongi with OC.

14. Poison Apple, mini series. Yandere Taehyung feat. Yoongi. This is not for the faint heart. Proceed with caution. Hard non con.

15. A Dangerous Game, Yandere Mob boss Namjoon x reader. Long series, there is sequel. Hard non con in one of the chapters.

16. Solar Eclipse, long oneshot. Yandere Hoseok, time travel / after life AU.

17. The Stranger, long oneshot. Yandere Doctor Seokjin.

18. Persephone, long oneshot. Yandere mafia leader Namjoon.

19. Bad Guy, ongoing series. Mafia boss Seokjin. This one is not really yandere, per se, but the way Seokjin loves the MC is quite you know...obsessive.

20. Addiction, long oneshot, yandere student Jungkook x reader. He was insanely lusting over you and just how much he was willing to pay for it?

21. See No Evil, long oneshot. Yandere ghost Taehyung, feat. Namjoon.

22. Nightcall, oneshot. Yandere Taehyung, mafia au.

23. Lovesick, oneshot. Yandere Taehyung is your sister's ex-boyfriend.

24. Trigger Happy, oneshot. Yandere mob Jungkook, undercover agent reader.

25. Visitation of a Lover, long oneshot. Yandere ghost Taehyung, feat. Jin.

26. Until I Saw You, oneshot. Yandere mob Namjoon.

27. Fucked Up, yandere OT7. Polyamorous - Idol AU. This is actually a series, look in the author's masterlist. The full version is in author's AO3. (Beware tho, the long version is just like the title says, pretty fucked up, lol.)

28. Illicit Photography, series with a sequel. Soft yandere Jungkook with reader as his teacher.

29. Promise, long oneshot. Yandere boyfriend Jimin.

30. Break My Mind's Eye, series. Jungkook as mob boss x fashion designer OC, yandere undertone.

31. Every Breath You Take , oneshot. Stalker Jungkook x reader, feat. Namjoon & Hoseok.

32. Butterfly, oneshot. Your stepson, Yoongi, fucks you in the kitchen while your husband eats breakfast. 

33. Actually, The Devil Wears Gucci, oneshot. Wicked CEO Taehyung with assistant reader.

34. Positive, quite long oneshot. Yandere richman Yoongi, waitress reader is pregnant.

35. Forbidden Fruit, long oneshot. Jhope as mafia member, reader has inability to feel fear.

36. Predator, oneshot. Vampire Jungkook stalked on reader. I felt goosebumps reading this, nothing too gory tho.

37. Brother Knows Best, ongoing short story. Yandere Jungkook, reader is his step sister.

38. Tea For Two, oneshot. Yandere Prince Namjoon x reader, arranged marriage AU.

39. Falling for A Lounge Singer, oneshot. Yandere mafia Taehyung, reader is a singer.

40. Black Swan, long one shot. Swan Prince Jimin x reader as a Princess. I'm not usually fond of story about faeries, this one is an exception. Hard to describe this, along with the hair that stood on my nape and that tingling feeling of fear and excitement while reading this. A truly masterpiece.

41. Making of A Lover, yandere Jungkook with his assistant reader. It's short but darkly entertaining.

42. Expectation x Reality, oneshot. Jungkook x reader, Taehyung x reader. Some hard dub con. With plot twist. 🤭

43. Delphinium, long oneshot, King Taehyung x queen reader. Soft yandere, angst. Beautiful with, ... again, plot twist.😈

44. In The Pain Of The Roses, long one shot, yandere king Yoongi x princess reader. Beautiful, poetic narrative. Read the tag warning, because it's really dark.

45. Anti Hero, long oneshot, yandere Yoongi x idol reader. Not many yandere story in idol universe, this one is not only one of the few, but also oh so so good.

46. Broken, oneshot. Seokjin x reader. Some dub con borderline to non con. Proceed with caution, because it's quite dark. I read this like a year ago, but everytime I read it again, it never failed to give me a shiver. It's on AO3.

47. Infatuation, series of one-shots. Light reading, darkly entertaining. Always fun to reread. It's on AO3.

48. Cardio, long oneshot. Personal trainer Jungkook x rich wife reader. Infidelity, angst, thriller. Very well written. On AO3.

49. War Lords, miniseries. Namjoon x Detective reader x Hoseok, both men were crime lords. Heavy angst, very well written. Totally NSFW! You probably soak your panties in front of your colleagues or classmates if you do read it during work.🤣

50. Deviant Affairs, long one-shot. Jimin was your stepbrother who was crazy in love with you.

51. Motive, long one shot. College AU. Jungkook x reader x another girl. Angst, thriller, love triangle. It will keep you on edge dragged by your curiosity before 💣💣 boom! There it go, the plot twist.😂

52. Still With You, one-shot. King Jungkook x servant reader.

53. The Mansion, long one-shot. Jimin x another man's wife reader. Very good, give you those old house horror scenes vibe.

54. Énouement, long one-shot. Doctor Taehyung x trophy wife reader. It's a part of interconnected stories with other members. Look at the author's masterlist. This is the one that I like the most.

55. Polarity, miniseries. Yandere Jungkook x reader. Infidelity around bestfriend relationship entangled with twisted obsession. It's really good!♥���

56. Arte Factum, long oneshot. Yandere android Jimin x reader. Jimin is a sub here.

57. Knight in Bloody Armor, club owner Hoseok x reader. Ongoing series. Very well written and chilling. It's on AO3, and you need to log in to be able to read it.

58. House of Serpents, ongoing series. OT7 x high class escort reader in organized crime AU. A shitload twisted men with twisted sex flavor. I have no words to say other than it put me on variety of different emotions until its latest chapter, and I have love and hate relationship with all of the men here. Polyamorous dynamic, heavy BDSM vibe. It's very well written on AO3. As always, read the warning.

59. Love Pages, long oneshot. Yandere Jimin x slight yandere reader, inspired by "Death Note".

60. Kill to Kiss You, long oneshot. Jungkook as mob boss x escort reader. I got cold hands and feet reading this. Chilling and put you on edge till the end.

61. Lesson Learnt, miniseries. CEO JK x ex gf reader. My ultimate weakness, BTS members as CEO with power and obsession. This one is pretty dark, read all the warning.

62. Code Red, one shot. Doctor Jimin x patient reader.

63. Saving You, short oneshot. Yandere husband Tae x reader.

64. Single Side Line, mini series. Yandere tennis player Tae x reader as ball girl. There are two alternate endings.

65. A Thriller Film, movie director Jungkook × reader as his stylist. It's well written and chilling.

66. Killing Me Softly, yandere OT7 x reader. Polyamorous AU but quite realistic thus give you chill to imagine what you would feel if this indeed is real.

67. Daffodil Dreams, yandere patient Taehyung, MC is his therapist. There are two parts - Dreams and Nightmare. Chilling and hair-raising.

68. Cruel Intentions, yandere mobster JK x reader in South Korea setting, my favorite AU. Love it❤️

69. Mindless, patient Hoseok x psychiatrist reader. Oneshot.

70. Roses, oneshot. Yandere dynamic between JK x reader. Just, wow.

71. Sinner, oneshot. Yandere fugitive Jungkook x detective reader. I reread like ... 6 times? That's just how good it is😙

72. The Broken Vow, attorney JK x reader as his ex wife. This one is so well written, leave you with mixed emotion, love and hate at the same time. Just ❤️

73. Cabin in The Woods, Jungkook as werewolf, reader as his mate and prisoner? Lol. Stockholm syndrome. I can't hate him here. Somehow he indeed protected her.

74. Cathexis, three parter, Jimin x reader. Based on Firestarter movie. 'There was no way in hell he would let anything happen to you and he would raise literal hell to make sure you were never hurt. If anyone tried to take you from him he’d burn the entire world down'.

75. Snatched, two parter ongoing. Yandere harpy Taehyung x nurse reader. Dystopian AU, dark and chilling. Very well written.

76. Obsesión, oneshot. Yandere pro rugby player Jungkook x sport journalist POC reader.

77. Code of Conduct, long series. Finally got the time to indulge in another long series. Just ♥️

.

Authors:

@sweetwolfcupcake @bang-tan-bitches @flowesona @bangtans-apollo @lemonjoonah @chaoticpuff17 @jooniyah @deepdarkdelights @sweetbunnykook @worldwidemochiguy @jingabitch @jkeuphoriadreamland @flowerwrites06 @junqkook @yandere-society @smileyoongle @nomnomsik @persephoneyss @chummywchimmy @ddaenqu @lovetalkhendery @chinkbihh @jessikahathaway @darkestcorners @99liners @yanderebts @jimlingss @smasmashie @bebejungkook @taechaos @girlmeetsliv3 @sombreboy @explicit-tae @lolabangtan @jungk0oksthighs @roses-ruby @lleldey @girl8890 @bahbah-bee @thvlouvre @go1denjeon

.

Let me know if I mistyped the tag list on author's name.

I still have a long list fics to read, need to catch up later.

[femmefatalevibe]

could you please teach me how to use social media in a manner that makes me feel good but also takes care of the art of display (how i’m perceived)? i would love to appear mysterious and interesting but i always find myself reposting insta posts on my story, tweeting every few minutes. and i wish i could just appear more mysterious? i love social media and i wanna be true to myself but i don’t like the fact that i display myself as someone who is obsessive, who talks in internet slang etc. i want to present myself properly and i hear a lot “just flow and do whatever and don’t care what others think” but to me i care about presenting myself well you know. what do you suggest? pictures of me or no? or pictures of anything else besides my face? and how do i not tweet and looked addicted to social media? how do i not be addicted to social media? my ideal self isn’t. and i want to be like her but idk how to. thank you so much. love your blog so so much 💗🌷

Hi love! I agree that it's important to present yourself authentically while still learning to hold yourself gracefully with restraint, even on more playful platforms like social media apps. It's a sign of self-respect and maturity – for sure. I have two general suggestions:

Devise a content strategy and calendar for yourself: Treat your social platforms as your personal marketing outlets (because they are). You're in the business of you, so act like it. Find content creators who present their lives in a similar way to how you want to represent yourself online. Consider the images/filters they use, the language they choose (word choice, quotes, caption lengths, etc.), post frequency, and the level of personalization/professionalism they display (is their content more aesthetic, formal, friends/family-oriented, laidback and BTS, etc.?) Outline the words you want to be able to use how your content makes you and others feel/perceive your image. Use these descriptors to create the content "buckets" you want to post based on your desired personal branding. Then, plan the content for the week/day you want to share (post or repost). For more personalized recommendations, feel free to book a session with me to refine your personal branding/social media strategy: https://calendly.com/femmefatalevibe/personal-branding-session-instagram-audit-strategy?back=1&month=2022-12.

Transmute your creative energy into other outlets: Read, journal, start a personal blog, draw, take up photography, etc. instead of spending all of your time on social media. This practice can be easier said than done, so consider using social media as a gateway to transition towards using your spare time to engage in these other creative outlets (for example, try scrolling social media to find new authors and artists who inspire you, save them to journal about, as inspiration for learning about a new topic or use reference later when picking out a new book to read for the month).

Hope this helps xx

[raggaraddy]

OT7 Reaction.

Summary: Yandere BTS OT7 reaction to you hitting them.

A/N: I struggle to write shorter complete self-contained stories, so each member's is around 700 words. I don't mind the length, but please let me know if you think they're too long. Thank you. I hope you enjoy ^-^

Trigger warnings: Heavy violence, smut, oral, yandere themes, D/s themes, examples of a bad D/s dynamic, non-con, panic attack, imprisonment, manipulation.

Alpha! Namjoon

There was a cyclone of fury engulfing the living room. Anything you could get your hands on was getting thrown and destroyed.  Namjoon had gone too far this time, and you were going to make sure he felt your wrath.

All you did was buy yourself a new pair of shoes. It was your money. That you had worked for. That you earnt. But according to Namjoon wasting your own money on something unnecessary, even if it wasn't that expensive, meant that you were irresponsible and couldn't be trusted to mind your own funds.

So he emptied your bank account! Every last cent!

You don't even know how he got access to do that. But it was just one more thing in a long list of intrusive, overbearing, psychotic, acts of control. And he was only getting worse!

He was being such a condescending jackass, going as far as telling you that you would need to ask his permission to use that money. Your money!

Destroying his property might not convince him of your maturity or responsibility, but it sure as hell was going to make you feel good to piss him off.

Only, you underestimate Namjoon's level of restraint. Strolling in and among the wreckage, he is as calm and collected as ever. Watching you with an amused smile as you huff and pant having built a sweat during your rampage.

"Are you done?" he asks. His composure and patronizing tone are infuriating beyond belief, and not satisfying your need to fight. As he reaches out, you swing, slapping him in the face as hard as you can before he has the chance to touch you.

Still breathing heavily, your heart is beating as the silence of the room grows tense. The amusement disappearing from his face the moment you struck him. His expression going blank. His eyes flashing amber for a moment.

"Y/n. You need a timeout." He says unemotionally. "Go face the wall." He points, ordering you to the corner of the room.

"What?" You stomp. "No! I'm not a child!"

"That's right. Even a child would know better than to hit someone." He scolds, raising his eyebrow.

You argue and fight his demand, right until he threatens to spank you instead. Knowing full well that you've provoked him enough for him to have you over his lap in an instant, you resentfully follow the order. Letting him put you in front of the wall, arms stretched ahead of you, a heavy hardcover book resting on the backs of your arms to further add to this humiliating punishment.

You can't understand how you ended up in this position again. You were in the right! How are you now the one in trouble?

The hefty weight of the book makes your muscles ache quickly. A 3-minute countdown feeling indefinitely longer. Your arms giving in and dropping the book several times before you even reach the halfway mark. And every time you drop it Namjoon does the same thing. He picks the book up, resets your position, and smacks your ass harshly.

"Stop hitting me!" You growl, feeling the urge to throw the book at his head instead.

"Then stop dropping it." He grins, leaning against the wall while watching you. His enjoyment having returned.

"That's not fair. It's not like I can help it." Your arms already shaking again.

"Do you not like being hit unfairly?" He hums the loaded question. Baiting you for a reaction. One you can't refrain from giving. Rolling your eyes at him. Not regretting having hit him one bit.

"1 minute and 22 seconds left, Beautiful." He smirks, timing again on his watch.

King! Seokjin

Sitting beside the King's chair, you were feeling the glow of embarrassment on your cheeks. Basically spending the day serving him as a plaything. Sublimating his boredom. Sat in full view of all who came to the throne room.

Jin had dozens of meetings scheduled today, all one after the other. While the appointments were taking place you only had to sit quietly and attentively. But in the brief pauses between meetings, all of Jin's attention landed on you. Sometimes simply talking with you, other times slapping you or pulling your hair for the fun of it, enjoying how you winced and whined. He had you massage his legs, feed him, even touch yourself. Anything that came to his mind. Rewarding you with a kiss right before every next entrant arrived.

You were a bit uncomfortable, but you were steadily getting used to this kind of treatment. Finding yourself even enjoying his attention. Revelling in the moments where he was calm and satisfied. Seeing the part of him that was enticing and warm.  A part that was yours alone to see.

Closing in on the end of these meetings, you're excited for what the night will bring. Your patient compliance and all of his little games having put Jin in a great mood.

In the last break of the day, he was leaning over the arm of his throne, running his thumb over your lips. Looking at you salaciously, licking his own full lips. Playing with him, you gently bite and suck on his finger, gazing back at him with big eyes. Having more fun than you cared to admit.

Without warning his hand yanks back, twisting forward in his seat with a growl. His jacket and pants covered in water. A male server standing to the other side of you both looking horrified. He had tripped and thrown the contents of a water jug all over the King.

Shaking the water from his hands, Jin stands up looking furious. You scramble to your feet looking for a way to help clean him. But the King isn't interested in that now. He throws his fist into the server's gut, instantly dropping him onto his knees. The glass jug smashing on the tiles.

You're frozen with your hand clutched over your mouth, watching as he relentlessly beats the man. Each blow evoking a throb in your chest, the sounds reminding you of a pain too familiar.

Suddenly, the server howls in agony, the King hauling him forward, dragging him through the broken glass. Drops of blood covering the floor beneath him. The man screaming again as the King's shoe stamps on his back, keeping him pressed into the shards.

His cries hit your heart. It's impossible for you to tolerate witnessing someone else subjected to this kind of torment.

"Stop, Stop." You shout, stumbling closer. A high-pitched shriek from the server making you panic.

You drive your palms into the Kings side, shoving him a step back. Allowing the man to lift himself up. The small fragments of glass cutting through his shirt into his skin.

Your mind stalls, your body stiffening unable to comprehend what to do now. Knowing you've just done something so unbelievably foolish. And Jin must be thinking the same thing because he also halts. Staring at you, bewildered. His look of shock morphing into a thoughtful, cruel, smile, as he slowly processes what you dared to do.

"Clean this up." He coolly straightens himself out. Ordering the server, who cringes in a heap as the King strides over him.

"Sit down, Y/n." Holding his hand out, Jin gestures for you to move to your place beside his throne. Consumed by regret, you're petrified of what you can only imagine is going to happen. Aware that his calm demeanour is a far worse sign than his rage.

You're shaking. Following the instruction, your legs nearly collapsing as you kneel down on the cushion. Fear and anxiety overwhelm you as Jin sits beside you. Your head sinking as you struggle for breath.

The herald comes back into the hall at that moment, announcing the next guest in a loud booming introduction. A man and his attendants coming through the doors.

Tears building in your eyes, your hands tremble as Jin leans over to you again. "This is the last meeting, Princess." His whispered, indifferent tone making you feel sick. "And then your all mine."

Assassin! Yoongi

You were praying that people were still looking for you. There were cameras everywhere at the resort. The police had to see you getting dragged away. They had to know who they were looking for.

Trapped in a basement with no way to get yourself loose, your situation looked dire. However, you were trying to keep yourself calm. Trying to be logical. He killed everyone else but you. It wouldn't make sense for him to bring you somewhere else, to lock you up only to kill you. You just needed to be patient, and remain focused, and wait for a chance to get away.

On the morning of the 3rd day, you're woken by the heavy bang of the basement door and him coming down the stairs. His glaring examination as he stands above you, making you feel small and helpless.

"Would you like to come upstairs?" He asks, letting you hear his voice for the first time. It's much more gentle than you expected. Sounding a little gravelly and softly spoken. Not matching his icy expression.

You nod unsurely. Watching his every move. Jerking away as he squats beside you. While he ignores your squeamish behaviour, moving purposefully to unlock the heavy chains from your arms.

As the cuffs fall down, panic takes over. Your flight reflex kicking in, feeling as if the chance at freedom is slipping through your fingers. Adrenalin removing your critical thinking. And you swing your closed fist at this face, the force knocking him over from his lowly perched position.

Stiffness and rigidity slowing your movements, you jump up, bolting to the stairs. Relief sinking in as your foot touches the bottom step.

However, it's quickly extinguished with a chunk of your hair caught and drawn backwards. Unstable and weakened, you're easily yanked onto the rough concrete floor, your entire left side grazing. The skin on your arm and hand especially tearing and bleeding from breaking your fall. Lifting under your arm he drags you back into the wall. Your head bouncing off the bricks with an echoing smack. Your eyes watering as you howl in pain. The sound crushed by his large hand wrapping around your throat.

Using the length of chain he restrains you again, wrapping it around your neck this time. Pulling it tight. Hooking the steel cuff through one of the large chain links, he locks it around your throat. Fixing it too taut for you to breathe easily. The unmoving metal choking you when you inhale too largely or try to swallow.

Desperately you pull and claw at the chain. Unable to get even your fingertips between it and your skin. Feeling trapped and suffocated worse than before. Unable to take your eyes off of him, terrified as he touches at the small bruise forming on the left of his face.

"You're going to regret that." He scowls with an ice-cold tone. Leaving you alone with nothing but your fear and panic. Sealing you in with a heavy slam of the basement door.

Vampire! Hoseok

You'd regained consciousness while laying on the floor of an unknown bathroom. At first, thinking your thumping headache was due to a handover. But as your brain starts to focus, your hazy memories coming back little by little, panic starts to build.

Struggling to get upright, you cling onto the countertop to pull yourself onto your feet. Sore, trembling, and weak, your body feels wrong. Horror sinking in as you see your reflection. Your face is pale and sickly. Your body covered in blood. Scabbing bite marks all down your neck. Every impossible and unbelievable aspect you remember from last night being made true as you see the physical evidence littering your body.

Lacking the strength to scream, you only gape at the mirror. Slowly trying to absorb everything. Waiting for the longest time, you're too scared to venture into the rest of the house. But finally, have no other choice between that, and waiting for whoever he was to come back.

Tiptoeing down a short hallway, you approach the dim light and sounds at the end of it. Both coming from a television in an otherwise dark lounge room. A brunette man sitting on the couch watching it. His face flashing back into your mind. Remembering how he was laughing so loudly, and how you couldn't pull away as he clung to you.

"Oh, good. My little snack's awake" He catches sight of you and pauses the TV, standing up with a stretch.

Looking left and right, there are doors in both directions. But the left is closer. You bolt, running as best as you can. Gasping as he comes in front of you, blocking your path in an instant. Closing a distance of about 10 feet. Your mind not fully able to comprehend the impossible feat you've seen.

Gawking at him. Moving slowly, you back up. Going off nothing but hope that you can steadily make it to the other door. But he isn't going to let you. You can see the recognition on his face as it pulls into a smile.

"Where're you going?" He chuckles. His image flashing past you. Making you pant as you feel his presence at your back. Once again between you and an exit.

The left side door becomes unbarricaded though. You lurch forward, sprinting to it. Forcing your body to overcome the pain and move faster. Not sure that you can make it. But reason is no longer moving you. Only fear.

You get so close. Your fingertips grazing the handle before your momentum and weight are shoved forward, slamming you into the door. Your body bouncing off it, making you stumble. Your feet wobbling as he spins you, slamming your back flat. Pinning you between him and the wall.

Not ready to give in, you drive your fist forward aiming for his head. Hoping to be able to hit anything. For him to be knocked away. And you do. But he doesn't.

In fact, he barely moves. Your knuckles hitting his cheek having nearly no impact. Instead of any sort of pain, his face fills with a massive grin.

"Oh. That was good. Hit me again." He chuckles. The crazy energy he is exuding is absolutely terrifying you.

You punch repeatedly, hitting his jaw twice. Infuriatingly, having the same minimal effect.

"No, no, baby," he bursts into laugher. Sizing you up as he takes a step back. "I mean hit me like this." He retaliates. Punching you in the face. Completely knocking you off your feet. Making you scream as you hit the floor, your mouth spewing blood. "Or like this," he swings his foot, punting you in the side. Kicking you against the unmoving door. And a second time. Your ribs feeling like they're cracking.

Struggling to breathe, unable to move, you slump onto the floor. Gasping and shaking for air. Thinking over and over that this can't be happening. That it can't be real.

"You're not going to be able to escape if you don't try harder." He ridicules. Booting you again. Making something in your chest snap. Your body no longer able to inhale. No oxygen making it to your lungs. Your head quickly becoming light, your eyes shutting, with a ringing in your ears.

He squats beside you, clicking his tongue in annoyance. Sighing as he pulls your head back. "Well, it's not going to be any fun if you die." He pouts. A moment later shoving his palm into your mouth, blood flowing from a cut. The disgusting warm taste of his blood mixing with yours, coating your tongue. Your breath returning, just as your mind drifts away.

Playboy! Jimin

You knew how he would handle this. If Jimin saw you flirting with anyone like how he was flirting with the server, he would hit you. No doubt about it. He would leave you covered in bruises spouting about betrayal and deception. Yet, here he was doing that exact thing without any conscious or regret. And right in front of his friends too.

Coming back from the bathroom, you could see him sitting at the terrace, holding the hand of the waitress he had been seducing for the entire meal. He was making you look pathetic and you were sick of it. It was time to serve him some of his own medicine and treat him like he does you.

Storming to the table you shout his name, swinging your open hand into his cheek. Not hard enough to do damage, but solid enough to make an impressive sound while knocking his head to the side.

"Stop being a whore! You don't have to hit on everything that breathes!" You yell.

He is always quick to anger, quick to violence and you're ready for a fight. But standing over him, his eyes go wide, his hand gently cupping his face as he retreats back from you. A heart-breaking, pitiful expression on his face.

"Why would you hit me?" Jimin whispers. Tears filling his waterline.

All at once, his friends jump to his defence.

"Y/n! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"He literally wasn't doing anything."

"You go psycho 'cause he talks to another girl? How insecure are you?"

Completely caught off guard, you're standing with the attention of the entire restaurant focused on you. Everyone whispering and staring. Judgement and disgust on all of their faces.

"Jimin, are you okay?" One of his female friends puts her arm around his shoulder, offering him a napkin to wipe his face. He accepts it, dabbing the tears from the corners of his eyes.

Your heart is beating so hard. This isn't what you wanted. You wanted to tell him off in a way he might finally understand. And you wanted him to react as aggressively as he would at home. So someone could intervene if he became too physical. But mostly, you wanted for his friends, for everyone to see how he really is. Hoping maybe it would shame him into changing how he behaved.

But he isn't reacting at all how you expected, and now you look and feel like a complete bitch.

A single tear rolls down Jimin's cheek, eliciting a chorus of sympathies and affection from his friends. As one of the girls starts to get in your face, Jimin jumps to guard you.

"No, It was my fault." He takes your hands, his voice quiet and raspy. "I'm sorry, Angel. I shouldn't have been so friendly. I only love you." he assures you, looking on the verge of tears.

You have no idea what to say. Regret making you feel sick to your stomach. Chewing your lip, you gently touch your palm to the red mark on his skin. Your own eyes getting watery at seeing how sad you made Jimin. The regret hitting you like a hammer to your heart.

Sheepishly, you follow after your boyfriend as he continues to kindly console you, apologising over and over, telling you he loves you while settling the bill for the whole table. He dismisses his friends again as they offer condolences, checking if he is okay while shooting you whithering glances.

By the time the two of you get to the car, you're also on the verge of tears, feeling horrible. Wondering why you acted like you did.

"Jimin," you soothe, as he closes his car door. "I'm so sorry baby. Is your-"

Before you can finish your question, his hand shoots out slamming your head into the dashboard in a powerful single shot.

Springing up, you're gasping, clutching your mouth and nose as blood gushes down your chin and into your hands. Tears heavily flowing as you gawk at him in shock.

The soft and sorry victim act Jimin was playing completely disappears. He doesn't even need to say a word. A conceited smirk saying it all.

Both of you thinking the same thing in that moment; How stupid you were to let him play you like that.

Dom! Taehyung

You genuinely like Taehyung, but after nearly 2 months his fixation on work is really starting to do your head in. Just the night before he had left you tied up for 40 minutes. And not in a fun, sexy way. No, he left because he had to take a call. Then when he came back, he was still on the phone, one-handedly untying you because he was going to be at least another 40 minutes.

After abandoning you again this morning, he comes back into the playroom, seeming oblivious that you're trying not to be annoyed. Not wanting to ruin the rest of the day with a bad attitude. Trying to relax again as he kisses down your chest. Thinking to yourself that at least he's finished with work and you can have him all to yourself now. Only that's not the case.

Casually he informs you about another video call he is going to have in 20 minutes. You don't even wait for the end of his sentence before you're already losing it.

"Are you fucking serious?!" You snap, swatting downwards smacking his hands, throwing your palms into his chest to shove him off you.

Straight away you can tell that you've crossed the line. But you're not in the right mind to care.

With a warning look, Taehyung attempts to retake control and put you back in your place. He orders you to your knees with a snap of his fingers. Giving you the chance to submit and move past your disrespectful outburst.

But you're no longer in the mood to play and right now you don't give a crap about his rules. You scoff, rolling your eyes, and shouldering past him.

You should have heeded his warning because now you've pushed Taehyung too far, and he's going to teach you to appreciate the second chance you just threw away.

Not letting you get far, his hand latches onto your arm bending it behind your back. Dragging you down the hall, he takes you to his office, throwing you under his work desk. Your bare knees grazing against the carpet as you smack into the metal frame. Using the electric controls, Taehyung alters his desk to a standing height.

At this point, your inner brat has been silenced and you're not stupid enough to keep fighting him, letting him handcuff you. Your hands getting fixed on either side of the desk's frame.

"Come here, girl." He stands, grabbing a handful of your hair, making you yelp in pain, hauling you towards him as he pulls down his pants. Shoving his dick in your mouth. "You're going to wish you'd gotten on your knees by choice" He growls. Holding you, forcing you to suck him as he gets himself hard.

Finally, he lets you pull back. Giving you a few seconds to cough and pant, trying to catch up, everything happening too quickly.

"Sir, I'm-" you whimper, wanting to apologize and lessen his anger and his roughness. But he cuts you off, forcing you back on his cock, pushing it down your throat this time, making you choke.

"When I want you to talk, I'll tell you." He scolds as you try to squirm away, your unprepared throat spasming around him. "Otherwise the next time you speak, you'll be thanking me for my cum. Am I clear pet?"

Keeping himself pressed to the base a few moments longer, your hands ball into fists, tears running down your cheeks. Jangling metal on metal as you try to pull free.

Spluttering and panting, you pull too hard and fall onto your ass when he lets you loose, spit running down your chin. A sheet of goosebumps shivering down your arms from how his dominance is scaring you a little, but affecting you a lot.

You swallow hard, nodding. Too embarrassed to look up to him. Not wanting him to see that some part of you is enjoying this. "Yes, Sir." You whisper.

Above you, you hear the tone for a video call ringing on his computer. Nerves making you feel a little uneasy, the realization hitting of what he's going to do.

"Good. Now open." He orders you back into place.

Obeying, you take him into your mouth. Thankful that he is now allowing you to control the pace.

"And you're going to be very quiet until I'm done." He looks down at you, hissing the warning. "Or I'm going to make this look gentle." He ends, answering the call.

Mafia! Jungkook

Jolting up in bed you're breathing hard. Shaking. Your dreams were nightmarish, but they didn't compare to the reality you were waking to.

As it often could, the futility of your life snuck up on you. Overwhelming you as your thoughts swirled out of control. Reminding you that you had no freedom. That everything you had and everything you were was taken away by the person who was laying beside you in bed. The person you loved, and the person you hated.

Falling into a state of self-pity, you curl yourself up, wrapping your arms around your knees. Breaking into heavy sobs. Unable to regulate your emotions.

The dark outline of Jungkook moves restlessly. His head lifted from the pillow. "Kitten. What's wrong?" he asks sleepily. Taking a second more to wake up and realize how heavily you were crying.

But when he does, it moves him to action. Turning on the side lamp, flooding the room with light. Your tear-streaked eyes hurting a little from the brightness. He scoots closer, resting his hand on your head.

"Aww, baby," he coos. "What happened?"

"Don't touch me," you wind tighter into your seated huddle, shrugging him off.

"Y/n, I-" he starts, sounding unsure of what to say. "What can I do?"

It was a pointless question. There was nothing he could do. Nothing he would do. The only thing you wanted was something he had made clear he would never give you. With everything you knew, with everything you had seen, he'd told you before that you couldn't leave and live.

Which meant you had no choice but to wait until the inevitable point when Jungkook got bored of you or didn't love you anymore. Then he would throw you away and kill you to make sure he was never exposed. No matter how much he insisted that would never happen, you knew it was your inescapable end.

"I hate you," you whisper, crying into your knees.

"What?" he moves closer, not able to make out what you said.

"I hate you!" You scream, lifting your head, making sure he heard you this time. "I hate being here. I hate it. I want my life back! I want my life." Your fingers dig into your hair. The nervous, panicked energy aching to get out.

He tries to soothe you again, reaching out softly to touch your arm. But once more you shirk him off.

"Y/n. You're okay, baby," he consoles, his voice filled with worry.

"No. I hate you." You yelp again. This time pushing him back by throwing your fist into his chest.

Almost longing for him to hit you back. Wanting him to help you. Wanting him to reinforce the monster you know he is. To remind you why you should hate him more than you love him. To make your resentment of him easier.

But he doesn't retaliate.

Only making the turmoil in your head worse, seeing his eyes burning with sympathy and pain. Ruining the last shred of composure you were clinging to.

Swinging again, you spin to him. Driving your fists down as hard as you can, rocking him back as he absorbs the strike.

"I hate you." You scream, tears breaking any power in your voice.

You pound his chest, again and again, wailing over and over that you hate him. Desperate to release all your anger and fear and pain. Wanting to make him hurt as much as you do.

Jungkook only holds his hands up, trying to take some of the force out of your hits. Letting you explode and pour out your anger at him.

But no matter how you hit him, it does nothing. Your heart is still throbbing. Your head is still swarming with noise.

Feeling helpless and hopeless you scream, bunching your fists tightly, pushing the heel of your palms into your forehead. Trying to stop the suffering in your head from being so loud. From the endless panic and anxiety. With no success.

Slowly, your energy wanes, all of the fury you had to give being used up. Your shoulders slump forward hunching over as you continue to bawl.

Gently, Jungkook opens his arms, holding them, waiting for you to need him. Softly touching your arm, encouraging you to come to him. And you do, pining for comfort. Letting him wrap around you, and pull you close. Holding you as you sob. Your fist bunching his shirt, still trying to release your despair.

The both of your remain motionless like this until you finally exhaust yourself. Your cries simmering down to whimpers. His shirt soaked in your tears.

With every last drop of your energy spent, all of your tears shed, Jungkook lowers you back down, keeping you close. Cradling you, while his hand strokes your hair and back, your mind uneasily beginning to go blank.

"I'm sorry that I can't let you go, baby." he hushes. "But it's okay. You can hate me as much as you need. I promise to still love you."

[rainbowsky]

New turtle here 😙 do you think DD and GG sit together and see all the Yizhan fanworks, even NSFW (edit photos/drawings/fanfics) and go "wow, that's cute/hot/creative!" and get a good laugh of all the things the solos and antis say about them?

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛

Fake, fan fiction, total CPN.

I'm sure they've probably checked out a lot of the fan works, posts and comments over the years. There have been multiple rumors about some of that, and GG and DD have talked about it in the past in interviews as well (having fake accounts, checking out some of what's said about them online).

I doubt they have much time to spend on that these days, but they probably have friends and family who send them especially good (or especially bad, or especially funny) ones from time to time.

Here are a few fan works/accounts I am convinced they (or at least GG) probably follow or check in on regularly:

Mugui (Zanbii and Bobii)

KokiraPSD

Maomao

There have also been multiple rumors about DD reading fanfic, and he even once said in an interview, when asked if he had read MDZS in preparation for the role of Lan Wangji, that he’d started out by checking out transformative works, which a lot of fans take as an admission of having read fanfic.

We know he spends at least some time in his supertopic, because it was recently revealed that he’s at level 5 in his supertopic (which, to be fair, is easy/fast to reach). 😅

There have also been many times when GG and DD have been caught reacting to fan banners at events, so they do notice what’s being said about them by fans and they do seem to enjoy BXG banners. One of my favorite LRLG rumors mentioned a couple of exchanges between GG and DD regarding some of the hilarious banners BXG had brought to the Tencent All Star 2020 event. At one point GG says to DD, “Don’t laugh at your own masterpiece when you see it” which fans took to be referring to a BXG banner featuring a quote from the BTS where DD was asking GG if he’d eaten yet today.

They’re both constantly glued to their phones, and it’s likely they hear news about them just like the rest of us do. Whenever there is a hot search or some especially widespread gossip or rumors about them I ponder what they might think of it all. I’m sure they are probably hurt by some of them, while others make them laugh.

I know that it’s hard for some people to imagine, but GG and DD are actually just a couple of ordinary young guys who get a lot of attention. It stands to reason that they are affected just as anyone else would be.

This is a big part of why I wish some fans - including BXG - would show a bit more restraint in how they talk about GGDD, what they post and share, and how they behave online. While at times they may seem larger than life, they are real people. We need to try to keep their best interests at heart at all times, and avoid saying or doing anything that might harm them.

As a new turtle you might find my masterlist post helpful.

[sugar-petals]

SuperM: Their Orgasm Faces

a/n. i’ve written the same scenario for bts and thought this is perfect for these guys as well 💦

warnings ⚠️ multiple rounds, masturbation, loud sex, crying

➸ Taemin Constant little trembles. Puffy lips and a huge back arch. Softly moving hips that know exactly what they’re doing, reacting to your every touch. Balmy moans for the gods, they’re such a giant turn-on. His face looks so soft and relaxes into the pleasure without restraint. And my god, the hair. It’s like an old Italian painting. The voice is just as indulging — all those little “ha...” noises he makes. So lush and super breathy. Long story short: He looks perfect in the unlikely case someone forgot. What more can I tell you. He’s broadcasted it to the entire world at this point. In fact, isn’t Taemin’s entire cinematic work a silk and satin-laced compilation of o-faces? Even his haters can’t deny that. He has the perfect variety, perfect sensuality. Never out of place, never too feeble nor too much. He doesn’t just show that to you in bed, he truly owns it. Taemin’s orgasms are really drawn out, it’s the most amazing spectacle. So much to see: And you never know when the first one ends and the second one starts. He’s that erotic and completely swayed by you. If there’s one person completely in tune with his arousal and amps it up to the maximum, and takes you higher yourself with him, that’s Lee Taemin. He cums more beautifully than anyone you’ve ever seen. Fuck, it feels like you have to write him a ten-page thank you letter for being able to witness that. One word suffices: he’s fantastic.

➸ Taeyong You won’t believe it. He is so handsome, but he tries to hide his face. Or buries his hands in his hair, and twists himself to the side. Sometimes, into a pillow. Othertimes, a blanket or a sleeve. Taeyong doesn’t like his pleasure being seen. He’s not just shy; he’s reserved, delicately cautious. He’d rather have his hair fall into his face and conceal all the sweet emotions that surface. His lips are tightly shut and more often than not, he looks away. Even when he’s by himself getting off to the thought of you, he can’t keep his head up. It’s a shame, but you also figure it’s because he gifts himself to you to be very protected, not judged or consumed. Taeyong needs your guidance and strength. That’s why you hug him and let his face rest in the crook of your neck, and it becomes his favorite spot to lean into when he’s coming. Taeyong is more reassured this way. His eyebrows raise and he’s giving you the most heavenly whimpers. It overwhelms him every time. But that’s the place where he can finally moan it out. His voice is so gorgeous, and desperate, and full of gratitude towards you. When he really trusts you, he’s — god — actually grunting in his deep voice and sometimes meets your eye fleetingly. Or sucks in air and holds it before his whole body erupts. Oh my god. Those thighs are gonna go through an entire earthquake. Truth be told: NCT didn’t lie when they sang about a volcano, did they.

➸ Jongin Come on. The main dancer who has his face all up in a camera every stage, making people worldwide bust a nut by just raising a corner of the mouth. If there’s one person with the best, most intense facial expressions? It’s Kai all the way. Just throw the OSCAR right at him. Matter of fact, we all know he is the king of being absolutely stunning in bed. Jongin always looks like he wants to take you in completely, his entire upper body goes forward. His eyes are deep and glistening, but not fully mysterious. First and foremost they’re hundred percent passion just as you’d expect from him. The brows, the fucking brows! The lips, mumbling, and the jaw is in motion even if you wouldn’t pay attention to it at first. And by contrast, he looks more in love than anyone else. Can we appreciate how romantic Kai’s vibe is? How does he do it? He yearns and calls you babe, the entire face feels twitching and shaky. As if he was suffering from being so enamoured, but it feels so good to him. Every new thrust makes his expression change a bit. How he’s allowing himself to feel you literally paints a living story on his features. Toward the middle and the end of his climax, Kai looks so vulnerable and lost in the pleasure that you gave him or he gave himself. It’s almost like he is underwater. If you ever look into those dreamy eyes... Kai’s orgasm face will put an actual spell on you. Have a guess. The spell is called: Make you even hornier and throw your fucking head back from all that good stuff.

➸ Mark Yeah, uh-oh. The bomb is going off right here. It feels like Mark didn’t fuck for literal months every time even if you had sex the other day. His jaw is hanging open throughout. The eyes wide. Lips shivering, only a little. A bit of saliva is pooling just there. Then, his head falls forward. Hair in his eyes, brows clenched toward the middle. He looks like he can’t believe it, he’s helpless to the power it has over him. His orgasm darts through his body like a thunderbolt. You got it, sex with Mark is exactly that, so electric. It arrives fast and it’s over fast. And it’s massive, catches him off guard so often. A big, sweeping “Ah—h!” that carries him away like a tidal wave. Who’s the living super car in SuperM? That’s Mark Lee who goes through his climax like he’s watching a train speed by. What can he do but curse himself and moan. Something is possessing this poor man. His face looks like he has to keep up with his own damn reflexes. Can you imagine how hard his body is going to clutch if he just cums in one go? And if he tries to kiss you during that? What the fuck Mark! He just never calms down, does he. Or wait — fast forward... oh wonder: He falls asleep only minutes after. His face: now completely angelic. Mark really put all his heart and mind and cum into this one orgasm. This guy has dedication and it shows. He always delivers you one hell of a show. Rumor has it you have a couple videos of it on your phone.

➸ Baekhyun Clenches his teeth so hard. The first you’ll hear is a loud and whiny “nnh!” in the buildup. And that’s when you know he can’t go back. The entire neck seems under pressure. He stares. Gasps for air. The breathing, raw as fuck. Up and down goes that chest all the way against you. In fact, he breathes the fastest in the group. His face gets so heated. All those veins come out. This guy’s blood flow is a new level. Releasing tons of stress and energy. His eyes are squeezed shut as soon as it begins because it’s so strong and relieving, it’s borderline painful. He couldn’t speak for the first five seconds even if he tried. Only the second wave brings out a stifled chain of moans that he surrenders to. On some days, he even starts crying from relief. It takes minutes upon minutes until he cools off entirely. Baekhyun is so orgasmic, he’s all splayed out on the bed afterwards or deeply engrossed in your embrace for endless cuddles. I’m telling you. Should you ever get a second orgasm out of him, he’s gonna be reduced to a puddle. A shaking, sobbing mess that can’t stop wailing. There’s only begging for more in these eyes. It goes without saying that you need the most sound-proof room there ever was because he is at the top of his voice. Baekhyun being loud for you is a natural staple. PS: Mark my words. Should you get him to a third orgasm, he’s gonna be screaming without a pause and his fucking tongue is hanging out. 

➸ Yukhei As if he can ever stop wiggling his brows at you. Did you expect he just lets loose and rolls his eye back? No, no. He keeps looking right at you until the end. Full Xuxi confidence and charisma at play. Lots of nicknames coming at you, he’s gonna say them all. That level of eye contact is gonna get you going big time. You know how large and wonderful his eyes are, like a doe’s. Lucas hardly closes them unless it comes to getting blowjobs. Where he’s gonna look at you very intensely most of the time anyway. Lucas tries to not let the sensations overcome him so he remains present with you. He never really seems like he indulges all the way like Taemin or Kai would. The whole thing is pretty suspicious because he doesn’t fully ease into your interplay of movements. Guess why... at any point, he’s invested in making you cum and keeps on pulling out his magic tricks until you’re getting there. He’s gonna use those big fucking hands (he knows you love ‘em) and goes on and on until he has you there. Yukhei’s personality is all over the place, but he has steely concentration during sex. Not to mention the technique. He’s even gonna go for pushing his hair back as a killing part. No mediocre, he’s doing the most. After all: Lucas cums the best if he just saw you losing it or you’re on the way. Synchronizing your orgasms is difficult, but he puts all his focus into achieving just that. Yukhei is an expert in how close you are after a while, and even starts letting himself fall back into the sheets below you when you release together. 

➸ Ten Perfectly understated. Lids heavy, lips opened just a bit. Elegant, almost, and chesty in tone. He’s the connoisseur. My god. It’s the most gentlemanly someone could ever cum. His forehead is so sweaty as is his hair and back, because if Ten fucks he does it properly, but still. He’s so calm. He could be in your arms for more than half an hour and be fully composed. The focus and self-control is just phenomenal. Completely in the moment, not missing a heartbeat. Which is such a hard thing to do but it’s effortless with him. Ten knows the value of moderation and tension. He’s not keeping his groans in for the whole time and only moans when he comes. Not at all. It’s a different story with him. It all builds up perfectly and comes out freely whenever. He’s actually pretty close to singing, his voice accompanies his breathing in ideal sync. So melodic. Ten is all smitten by you. Nothing is kept in. He looks at you so fondly, he enjoys himself so much. So, it becomes a beautiful loving serenade. His face doesn’t make any sudden or extreme contortions either. The expression moves and changes very slowly, is very easy on the eye. Every minute with him is fulfilling. Ten is all wrapped up in the mood and the groove like it’s business. Prepare to lose your fucking mind, these are new levels of feeling good. Not one awkward moment, just making love. Oh my god are you lucky.

art: The Great Wave off Kanagawa (1829-33) — by Hokusai

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed.

[kithtaehyung]

okay this is me praising 3tan yoongi and also u bc one of my favorite things about him is how he treats reader (everyone gasps, this is so surprising has never been said before) BUT WAIT there's more. it's partially how he's written bc the whole protective i wanna take care of u kinda guy can feel so. icky? but 3tan yoongi does it in such a quiet and gentle way where it's almost like he doesn't know how not to be patient with her and make sure she's okay. like i know he must have been pissed after whatever tf went down @ basketball (side eyeing that spoiler rn) but it wasn't super obvious that she should be worried,, he just made sure to be aware of their surroundings outside and give her a key to his place and call her and visit her and the way all of it came together after anytime OOH BOY it's the kind of thing that has you going back and marking what you missed because it's so !!!! and then even in dalo when basketball guy grabbed her he was just so stable after for her?? letting her shower and making sure she eats and telling her that he already planned on staying with her when she asked </3 just a very solid and comforting vibe i agree that 3tan yoongi is the best characterization i've ever read to date,, and i've been reading bts fanfics for like 6.5 years (omfg when i say it like THAT ???)

SCREAMINGGGG y’all are gonna make me cry like actual tears !! thank you so much, babe🥺 this is so heartwarming w t f I’m more than happy to get this feedback from you😭

So some writing commentary for y’all on 3tan yoongi: this has been the absolute biggest exercise of restraint I’ve ever had as a writer. I’m so honored that you like his characterization because even though he’s easy to write, there’s also a level of brainpower I have to exercise because there are things to keep in mind while writing him.

Like. I have to stay conscious of how much Yoongi shows. bc, going off what you lovingly said ugh ily, isn’t something massive. His words are few during reader’s POVs and his gestures are subtle and even restrained themselves most of the time.

As far as protectiveness and actions, He doesn’t need thank you’s or whatever (hell, he wasn’t even planning on telling reader about basketball??) His gestures are grand in the way that they aren’t showy or humongous, but rather just him looking out. No hidden intentions or “yeah I did this just for you now thank me😈” type of thing. It’s really just him looking out, just like he would Jimin or bro or someone he considers close to him.

Even with Shiv, he gave advice because he felt like the guy really needed it in that moment. He’s just someone that quietly gives people strength without needing any thank-you’s or something in return. How he came to be this way? Who knows! There’s still a lot to his character that we can explore and I’m really excited about that, too🍊

Ahhhh did you go back and read after Anytime?! Hell yeah I’m glad! That was my intention to keep the series rereadable just because the revelation may cause readers to go back and see what hints there were before... Regardless, I’m flattered that you like his characterization fck🥲💕 He really is my personal comfort person and I hope he gives y’all some slice of peace and assurance when you dive into this series.

[lemonjoonah]

Are you planning on doing a sequel to level of restraint?

I know you many not have intended this to be malicious, but these are the typical thought patterns of a writer when we receive a question like this 👆(aka: part 2?)

- They must have thought thirteen thousand words of my most heated smut and devious twists not worthy of comment.

- The only value I have in this reader’s eyes is the potential to add on to something I deem finished (it is labeled as a oneshot in the author’s note).

- Therefore I am a worthless author because I cannot write a sequel to this. Even though it is already perfect in my mind, and any continuation would obviously result in such blatant non-con, which would be extremely triggering for me to write.

...

For the mental health of your writers, creators, fellow ARMY, fuck it just people in general, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP SENDING ASKS AND COMMENTS LIKE THIS. It makes us feel completely dejected and insignificant.

If you want to promote writers and their creative wellbeing, comment on what you like about what you just consumed for free, rather than seeking out more at the writers expense.

[lemonjoonah]

@ppersonna you’re far too kind 🥺😭😭😭🥰😘❤️❤️❤️ have I told you how much I love you yet?!

AHH my queen, my god damn favorite author of all time now @lemonjoonah is doing a Q&A about her MASTERPIECE Level of Restraint right now

GO but read it first bc spoilers.

[epsilonqandry]

I'm sad, you're sad, lets distract ourselves with a totally deranged "BTS is a Kinky Polycule and we have the footage to prove it" analysis of this absolute TOP TIER piece of vintage fanservice. There's a lot of fun power dynamic stuff going on here. This game was OFFICIALLY called "tension escalator" and it happened at a japan fanmeet in (i think?) 2016/2017 by the looks of the hair? lets have some highlights from this fanservice MASTERPIECE.

Jimin suggests they do it in age order, basically setting JK up from the beginning. He is mischief personified. Watching JK get more and more panicked as he realizes he is meant to show the most "escalated" version of what's going on is a whole trip just by itself, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Jin starts out at 100% with an absolutely SEARING look and wicked smile at Yoongi - he is not even bracing against an actual wall here, just miming, but yoongi is still frozen like a deer in the headlights (who could blame him). Yoongi really struggles to maintain eye contact here, Jin has his squirming from the get go. You'll notice that Jin keeps his distance though - he uses his "braced" arm to keep distance, and it's all in the look. I feel like he's delivering while still being very respectful of yoongi's comfort levels. He perfectly calibrated what he could get away with that was within boundaries for his target in that setting. Top tier Dom behaviour here.

The host assures Yoongi that he doesn't have to copy Jin, but he does exactly that - but you can see how while his hand movement is fast and aggressive ("manly!" as instructed) he doesn't actually cage RM in at all - his body is angled away from RM. They also don't make a lot of eye contact, and he doesn't close distance at all. RM knows he can mess with Hobi, so he goes for it - but his instinct is to reach out a warning hand first - that very sweet and tender stroke down hobi's shoulder, a check in before he engages, it's so him. He then cuddles right into Hobi who hams it up beautifully with blushing - you'll notice that in Hobi's "pearl clutching" hand coming up to his own chest, hobi takes control of the distance here, essentially stopping RM from coming closer - taking his gaze from RM out to the audience to really play it up. The crowd loves it, and it draws attention from RM, letting RM play the "manly" role, Hobi's feminine-coded pantomime making RM seem even MORE manly in comparison. This is Hobi totally taking control of the interaction, making RM look good in a generous way AND creating something really fun to watch. Elegantly done, as you'd expect.

Then we get to watch the way Hobi's whole demeanor changes in an instant, as he goes from "blushing damsel" to the predator role - (its not even directed at JK but the camera catches him having a whole-body reaction to Hobi's "dom look" - FUN!) Hobi beckons Jimin closer, points to exactly where he wants Jimin to stand. Jimin hits the spot and even puts his hands behind his back, basically submitting to Hobi's whims here - and Hobi knows Jimin can handle whatever, so he goes for it - You'll notice that while Jimin lets Hobi pull him into a dip, his posture stays quite rigid. He doesn't go boneless or submit to the hold - he allows it, with a smile, but he maintains his own resistant tension - can't make it too easy for Hobi, after all! You'll also note that Hobi doesn't push it, allowing Jimin to keep that control - hobi always courteous to another dom, even one lower in him in hierarchical terms. You can see that Jimin is largely unbothered and already thinking about what he's going to do to Tae by the time they finish their turn. Jimin.. is, as usual, a man with a PLAN. He carefully moves JK out of the line of fire, and winds himself up with some aggressive air punches. He then just goes ahead and manhandles the heck out of Tae, showing absolutely NO mercy and none of the restraint the other doms did.. this is just classic vmin escalation right here. It's not till Jin calls out that it's enough that Jimin backs off (instantly!) The damage has been done though, Jimin's pushed tae so far down into subspace by being aggressive Tae has to really struggle to flip the switch and wilfully shake himself back into dom mode in front of a whole audience.. even then one doe-eyed look from Jungkook and he didn't have the heart to monster him! With Tae well shaken, and JK in full panic mode by this stage.. its no surprise that they flub their part of it, adorably.. Tae does give JK a good dose of those famous bedroom eyes though (at least in their nascent form - he's only gotten more lethal with age, our Tae) There's also a really cute swing back to RM having a whole shy/flustered moment - JK's panic and shyness is catching! I love that Tae is actually able to muster it up after Jimin counts him in. JK is then told to direct HIS "tension" at the audience - he's just terrified in the most adorable way and has no idea what to do. He eventually decides the lens is a safer option that staring out into the crowd, and undoes ONE WHOLE BUTTON - the way the rest of them encourage him and hoot is really really sweet. This is an absolute treat to watch from beginning to end :)

[blackswan18]

Too Good To Be True - Ch. 17 | kth (m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.2k

warnings: cursing

⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist

Chapter 17: Your Special Day

The following Wednesday it was your birthday. Your 26th birthday, to be exact. Apart from making you closer to 30 than you were to 20, 26 wasn’t a terribly monumental birthday, but it was your special day nonetheless. Your dad had called that morning. Your sisters had both called, and would be coming to visit to celebrate this upcoming weekend. Your friends from back home and from college had texted. The other stylists had sung to you when you first got to the studio and pitched in to get you a small gift. Even Mrs. Choi. had wished you a happy birthday.

Everyone who mattered to you had reached out and made at least a small effort to make you feel special on your special day. 

Everyone except Tae.

You had spent all morning with him and he hadn’t said anything, hadn’t made any indication that he knew what today was. It might not have bothered you so much had he not made such a big deal of your previous two birthdays that you celebrated while working at Big Hit. On both occasions he’d started a countdown a week out and had been almost as excited as he was on his own birthday when the day finally arrived. 

The first year you were there he got you a three month’s supply of your favorite delicious, but ridiculously overpriced dark chocolate truffles. He didn’t give them to you all at once, though, because he was afraid you would eat them all in one sitting which was a valid concern. Instead, he gave you one every day for the next three months. If he knew he wasn’t going to see you over the weekend for a shoot or show, he would give you three on Friday, two of them with Post-it notes saying things like ‘Eat me on Saturday’ or ‘Poisonous until Sunday’. With a level of restraint that surprised even yourself, you always waited to eat them on the appropriate day. Even after those three months were over you would sometimes get to the studio and find one on the counter in front of his chair or get home in the evening and find one had been slipped into your bag.

For your second birthday while at Big Hit, he got you three tickets to see Zico in concert so you and your two sisters could go together. He knew how much you all loved the rapper and also knew that your sisters had been trying to get you to go to a concert with them for over a year. Somehow, he had secretly reached out to your older sister to find a date that worked for the three of you. He had held the tickets up to you, but before he let you have them he made you promise that, if you went, you wouldn't come back saying Zico was your new favorite idol. You scoffed at that and then assured him that Jimin would absolutely still be your favorite idol once you got back. He laughed at that and gave you the tickets, knowing full well that he was your favorite and nothing was ever going to change that. 

This year, though, there had been no countdown. No excitement. No presents. No remembrance. The worst past was, after everything that had happened over the last month, you weren’t even surprised. You were just disappointed and heartbroken.

Later that afternoon, you were in the studio staring intently at the PowerPoint on your laptop in front of you. Mrs Choi had asked all the stylists to put together concept proposals for the upcoming single’s music video and you were determined to come up with something great. She had never picked any of your ideas before, so there wasn’t much reason to think she would this time, but you wanted to wow her nonetheless. 

Pouring yourself into this proposal over the last couple weeks had also been the perfect distraction from your ever deteriorating relationship with Tae. There wasn’t much that made you happy anymore these days, but getting lost in a swirl of colors and patterns in your imagination did provide you some solace.

You were flipping back and forth between color palettes trying to decide which one screamed ‘Dynamite’ when the door to the studio opened. In walked Tae, looking so incredibly excited, and for a moment your heart leapt with joy. 

He remembered.

Surely, he’s come to wish you a happy birthday and apologize profusely for not remembering sooner.

But, a second later Jisoo followed him through the door and your heart plummeted back down, nearly fracturing upon impact. After how long it had been since he’d last visited you, it hurt that he brought her the first time he came back. The fact that he brought her here today, on your special day of all days, made the pain twice as bad.

“Hi, Noona!” he said brightly as he walked over to where you were sitting. 

“Hi, Tae,” you said flatly before mumbling with even less enthusiasm, “Hi, Jisoo.”

“Hi, Y/N,” Jisoo said in a sickly sweet voice. “It’s so good to see you.”

The way she said that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up; she knew how much you hated seeing her with Tae. Given your chilling conversation with her in the elevator last week, a part of you was now terrified that she knew exactly why it bothered you so much. 

“What are you working on?” Tae asked excitedly, peeking his head over your shoulder to see your laptop screen.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” you said quietly as you minimized PowerPoint. You used to love sharing your concept ideas with him, loved getting his input and then brainstorming together, but you didn’t want to share this with him. This stupid proposal was the only thing that was giving you any purpose right now. It felt like he had taken everything else from you and you didn’t want him to have this too.

He had the audacity to look slightly hurt that you’d shut him out of whatever you were working on, as if he hadn’t spent the last few weeks shutting you out of his life entirely, but he quickly shook it off. Sensing from your expectant look that you were wondering why they were here, he preemptively answered your next question.

“There’s a leak in the ceiling of Jisoo’s recording lab and we can’t go back in until it’s fixed,” he said with a pout. “So I thought we’d come here instead.”

And just like that, the hurt multiplied exponentially. He wasn’t here to wish you a happy birthday. He wasn’t here to see you. He hadn’t even wanted to come here in the first place. He was here only because he had no choice.  

And, he had brought Jisoo.

“Do you mind if we work here?” he then asked, though, as he did so they were already walking towards the couch, indicating to you that he didn’t actually care about your response.

“No,” you said quietly, eyes cast back down at your laptop. “It’s fine.”

~~~

An hour later you were trying and failing to block out their conversation. Jisoo’s voice was already like nails on a chalkboard, but it became even more whiny and annoying whenever she talked to Tae. Every word out of her mouth pierced into your subconscious, making it impossible to truly focus on what you were doing, but it was her utterance of one particular word that had you looking up in curiosity. 

“Hey, for the title” she started. “Are we still thinking it should have the word ships in it?”

“About that,” Tae replied, suddenly sounding very excited. “I actually thought of a completely different title last Friday night.”

“Oh?” Jisoo asked suggestively. “Did something at dinner inspire you?”

“Yes,” he said shyly. “As a matter-of-fact, something did.”

“But, I’d like to keep it a secret for now,” he then added a moment later. “I want to give it a little more thought.”

“OK, TaeTae,” she cooed. “I can’t wait to hear it.”

The room grew quiet again as they both returned their attention to their laptops. You looked back at your own, but your mind was currently miles away.

Ships

That sounded so familiar, but your brain was in such a fog that you couldn’t figure out why. You were still thinking about it a few minutes later when suddenly the silence was broken by the sound of Jisoo humming. As you sat there listening to her, staring blankly at the screen in front of you, a memory washed over you.

Some sad, sweet lullaby about ships 

Though you had worked hard to block out nearly every other recollection from that night, you found yourself coming back to this one over and over again. Unlike the rest of the night, and the following day, which had been full of anxiety, confusion, and sadness, those few minutes you spent laying on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep while you listened to Tae sing, had felt decidedly peaceful. He sounded so relaxed and content. Just listening to him had comforted you and made you forget about all the stress and drama of the evening.

You couldn’t help but wonder if he had still been singing this song when he found you sleeping on the couch, if he had continued singing it while he picked you up and tucked you into bed. Part of you hoped he had. It was clearly a love song and, even if it wasn’t meant for you, the idea of him singing it while holding you made your heart flutter nonetheless.

To this day, you still were not sure if he knew you had heard him. It wasn’t unusual for him to spontaneously and subconsciously burst out into song so it’s possible he didn’t even realize he was singing that song in the first place. 

You realized in the days afterwards that it must have been a song he was personally working on, one that would likely end up on his mixtape whenever it was released. Even if he had only inadvertently sung it in front of you, it still felt special that you got to hear it before anyone else.

Although you didn’t really remember many of the lyrics, you were half asleep when you heard him singing, you distinctly remember that the song was about ships. And, you definitely remember the melody. It was wistful and a bit sad, but also sweet and soothing. Above all else, it just sounded so Tae.

But, it also sounded exactly like the song Jisoo was humming right now.

Upon realizing that this was the song they were recording together, that he had essentially given it to her and even wanted to rename it to commemorate their date, something broke inside you. 

Every single sad, lonely, heartbroken feeling you’d ever experienced because of him suddenly welled up inside you all at once and it was beyond overwhelming. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t think. All you could do was feel.

And it fucking hurt.

“TaeTae, I’m hungry. Let’s order some food and have a couch picnic,” your brain somehow registered Jisoo was saying.

You were staring at the screen in front of you, but you honestly could not see a thing. Everything was foggy and blurry as your eyes began to fill with tears.

‘Ok, we can do that,” Tae replied.

“Y/N, do you want anything?” he then asked you.

“No, I’m not hungry,” you said quietly, your voice on the verge of breaking. 

“I actually don’t feel that well,” you continued a moment later. “I’m going to head home.”

You closed your laptop and started packing up your things as quickly as possible as wave after wave of nausea washed over you. At any moment you thought you might retch out the contents of your stomach along with your heart and soul. While you were stuffing things haphazardly into your bag and willing yourself to keep it together for just five more minutes, Tae had gotten up from the couch and walked over to you.

“Are you OK?” he asked worriedly. 

“I’m fine,” you said as you pulled on your coat.

“You don’t look fine,” he replied back, his face now full of concern. “Do you want me to walk you to your car? Or drive you home?”

“No,” you said hastily. “I’m fine, really, and you’re busy right now anyway.”

“Y/N, wait-,” he started.

“I’ll see you later,” you cut him off. 

Before he could say anything else you turned and quickly walked out of the room. You kept your head down, eyes trained on the floor, the entire walk to your car. The moment you got inside and closed the door you let out a heart wrenching sob. You sat there crying in the car for an hour, your head slumped against the steering wheel, wondering how it could possibly hurt so much to lose something that was never even yours to begin with.

⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist

[zelsposts]

BTS SMUT AU LIST

//y’all know i luv these things hihi,, enjoy and read responsibly!!

Nightcall by cosmostae (KTH)

After Hours by zibermuda (JJK)

LOVER, LEAVER by hollyxqx (PJM)

Stay by jungkxook (JJK)

Level of Restraint by lemonjoonah