#sure he's made bad choices
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It's so wild seeing people call Ben an "abuser" and feeling disgusted that a show would romanticize him.
Like... that's an extreme take. I feel like they've skipped quite a few steps to get to that point.
It's like "GAH! A flawed character! Let's burn them at the stake!"
I know it must suck that the ship you wanted didn't end up together, but damn! Calm down!
#I'm staying away from that Reddit page#I do not tolerate Ben hate of any kind#sure he's made bad choices#but show me a character who hasn't#ben gross#benvi#ben x devi#devi x ben#nhie spoilers#never have i ever spoliers#never have i ever#nhie#anti daxton#not really but they seemed very pro that ship
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like i’ve said time and time again, i haven’t watched bbc merlin in years but i was just wondering when the first time merlin called arthur by his name to his face and im scrolling thru the transcripts on the fandom wiki (supposedly it was s1ep4 btw) and im skimming the script for all these episodes and getting angrier and angrier. gaius was wrong for all that. morgana deserved so much better. edwin muirden was valid as hell (for targeting uther AND gaius. yeah. i said it.). also kilgharrah ate with that one lil line “then turn a blind eye. that is, after all, your talent” okay lizard brain pop offff.
#gaius telling merlin to stop using magic so casually in the privacy and security of their quarters?????#wtf is wrong with that???? ur only instilling unnecessary fear and shame into him#gaius KNOWING morgana is a seer but gaslighting her into believing its nothing more than dreams#same shit#making her feel crazy for something shes going thru#OOOOO GAIUS GOT ME PISSED OFF#SORRY#IM NOT NORMALLY ANTI GAIUS BUT WHEW#reading back thru these transcripts got me heated#gaius and uther and kilgharrah were all wrong#there were hints of arthur being accepting of magic in s1#when gwen was accused of healing her father arthur literally stood up to his father about it#ABOUT MAGIC!!!!!#and told him that even if gwen had used magic she used it to cure her father#he described it as an act of love and kindness#FUCKKK#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#morgana le fay#morgana pendragon#anti gaius#sorryyy#but im actually not#like uther committed a genocide and we hate him yeah but gaius stood by and did NOTHING and even built off of uthers actions#yeah sure he didnt kill anyone or turn anyone in to uther but he used uthers actions as a way to instill fear and shame into magic users#who came to him for HELP#merlin repeatedly about other magic users circa s1: but theyre like me!!#gaius and kilgharrah: no they are bad and evil and need to die!!!#everything wouldve been so much better had merlin just followed his heart and made his own choices
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I've seen the last '"g-d made you perfect" that I can handle, and it's led me to a realization about how I think of g-d.
I don't think we were made perfect. We were made human. And, if I'm honest, the only perfection in my mind is g-d, and that sense of perfection is what differentiates humans from g-d. If humans were as perfectly-made as g-d, I for one wouldn't see the point in following, believing, trusting, caring for, or loving g-d.
I guess for me, I see the ways in which humans alter the Way We Were Created that I really don't think it's right to speculate as to if there's a limit to altering our abilities or bodies. For instance, as a trans person, I've definitely been inundated with this idea that because g-d made my body "perfect" that I shouldn't alter it ever, but isn't that a dangerous precedent? Is it really so, that our bodies are magically made perfect, as g-d that to even tamper with the idea of change would be the same as cursing g-d? I really don't think that's compelling.
I love thinking about just how much g-d is placed into people, but I don't think it warrants restricting the ability to learn, create, grow, or change. Thank g-d that He created the ability to change!
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#you don't want to know what sparked this (lighthearted)#i just get very angsty still reading 'but g-d made you PERFECT 😢' because it is never about g-d it's about one's feelings#but it is compelling to think... wait but ARE we made perfect#it's a fair question to ask i think#and this might be a messy post. it's almost 03:00 and i have class and i'm feeling angsty#i have such a bad habit of saying 'dont ask me what sparked this' and then elaborating even when Nobody Asked#and that's because i think it's hilarious#so i'm going to force myself to just let it go and make this post even if it's messy#like a middle school friendship my relationship with g-d is messy and complex and nuanced and kind of petty sometimes#what does g-d expect from man? i'm sure He was well aware of what i am Like
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Pop quiz, hotshots! Which would you rather have:
A relationship that, when it goes wrong, you can tell the other person that you need a break to reassess your relationship, and they will discuss this calmly, let you go, and then go away and think about what you said, agree that they were in the wrong, and start working on ways to fix their own behaviour;
OR
A relationship that, when you want to leave, they tell you that you don't really want to go, that you're happier with them, that you should isolate yourself from your family and friends so you can stay with them - and when you disagree and tell them the relationship is just a matter of necessity, they start in on your other relationship (which they have apparently decided is the reason you're going back, despite you making no mention of it), telling you that it's broken, that you shouldn't go back to him - and when you tell them to butt out of your personal business, they tell you they're entitled to have an opinion because you've been stranded alone together for a long time...
Is that or is that not what happened? Because I remember Lila making herself pretty clear on these points, but apparently a bunch of people think we should disregard a woman's expressed opinion about her own life, and go with what she's being told. Because Five knows best, amirite? Gosh he's so smart and clever! And he deserves this - he deserves Lila, no matter what Lila herself says. He's owed it by the universe, because he had a bad life.
Lila did have another relationship like that, where she was told what to do, kept in the dark, told that the other person knew what was best for her...and it wasn't Diego.
#lila pitts#diego hargreeves#tua#tua s4#tua s4 spoilers#the umbrella academy#I don't mind them portraying unhealthy relationships#but I am 100% serious when I say you shouldn't romanticise that shit#just because you think Five is dreamy#sure Diego has his flaws#but he and Lila had an adult relationship where they both made choices#and they consistently take on board what the other one says#whereas apparently Five and Lila never once had a conversation about where this was(n't) heading#because they were at total odds when it finally came down to a decision#never mind Diego - did Five actually think she was going to forget about her kids just to stay there with him?!#the arrogance! he was acting like a 20yo in his first real relationship#and Lila was acting like a woman making the best of a bad situation#wanting to end it as soon as she was able - literally she got up and walked away the second she found out#it's not about 'cheating' or whatevs#(all of tua fandom needs to grow up about that one)#it's about Five being a toxic little shit#enough red flags to run a circus#pepper gets salty
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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I know, especially with how much more proactive he is in the live action, some people think that Iroh was too complicit with Zuko and should have put more effort into pushing Zuko down the right path.
But I don’t know I think the point was that it had to come from Zuko. This great change had to be something that Zuko wanted for himself and not something Iroh pushes him into. It’s why although he tries to distract or dissuade him subtly he’s pretty content to let Zuko do as he feels the need to (except when he’s taking insane actions that would have killed him if he wasn’t too spiteful to die) but yeah there’s no obvious push to get Zuko to believe this or that or even to undo the fire nation conditioning he simply just worries for his safety and honestly with how reckless zuko was probably the safest route without pushing him into full mental breakdown.
It’s not till he’s almost captured and they go on the run do you actually start to see that maybe Iroh has a side in all this and it’s not the fire nation. But even then being on Zuko’s side takes precedent. It’s not until Zuko is on the cusp of real change, he’s right on the precipice does Iroh start to push a little harder but even then it’s focused in Zuko making a decision for his life one that nobody else can make for him. The closest Iroh gets to forcefully pushing Zuko towards any direction is him yelling “It's time for you to look *inward* and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you and what do *you* want?”. And then siding with the avatar during the fall of ba sing se.
If Iroh tried to manipulate him, take advantage of this scared angry child to unconsciously steer him towards his own side then he’d be no better than the fire nation, he’s just be another person wrenching control from Zuko life. But instead Iroh offers him that control, let him go out and see what the world is and let the conclusions of whatever he finds be the foundation on which he is rebuilt again and and again. It’s why when he stands infront of Ozai and says “ No, I’ve learned everything! And I’ve had to learn it on my own” we feel that shit. Because yeah he did he struggled and he fought and he learned and damn it all, he is making a choice for himself.
The story works because Iroh isn’t his mentor, he’s his uncle and he loves him enough to push aside his own personal belief to allow Zuko the space to decide who he wants to be, to give him the agency over his own life. That’s why Zuko’s redemption works so well because he’s not forced into it, If he decides to join the avatar to take down the thrown that has been his choice. If he decides to stay with the fire nation be the prince he was born to be….well that had to be his choice as well. Because that’s the crux of this. None of it matters if it isn’t Zuko, with everything that he has learned, making a decision for his own life.
#I know people make jokes about Iroh teaching zuko how to be good but honestly if anything it was less he taught him#and more he gave him the space to be good#I don’t know the point of the story was that Iroh wasn’t pushing he may have been guiding but only when it was needed.#it’s why he remains a safe space for Zuko I’m even after he’s made the *wrong* choice zuko still seeks him out#because Iroh is the only person that feels like they don’t have an agenda for Zuko’s life#sure he has his opinions on it he’s only human but yeah it’s why he wasn’t angry only scared that zuko was lost#this is why zuko’s redemption arc stands out so much and doesn’t feel like anything else we had seen#it’ was a king and hard fought battle and it wasn’t linear and it wasn’t easy and it’s acknowledged that it wasn’t easy#that zuko is struggling isn’t proof that he’s bad it’s just proof that he’s human and these are his people and they mean something to him#yeah was just thinking about this I don’t know if this is coherent but I guess I’ll see in the morning 😭#throwing thoughts to the void#atla zuko#zuko#prince zuko#uncle iroh#iroh#Atla#avatar the last airbender#atla thoughts#atla analysis#character analysis#zuko redemption arc#fire nation#redemption#atla meta
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i would actually love to hear your thoughts on when layton would emote the ways you've drawn him! if you want! no pressure if not!
OH B OY HERE WE GO!!!!! again take everything with a grain of salt bc i Forgor bits of the series
BLANKET SPOILER FOR UNWOUND FUTURE/MIRACLE MASK MAYBE??/AZRAN LEGACY
(for reference we are talking abt this post)
SURPRISE: As we know in the PL series, it's very very hard to catch the professor off-guard in any way. Most of the things you would think would surprise him, he's already known for a long time and was just keeping quiet about it so that he could use that information at the right time.
With that being said, the times where he does seem to get somewhat surprised (or taken aback. he's so goddamn emotionally constipated) seem to be when the shocker in question has personal relation to him. Though in the series proper, none of the shocking personal factoids are ever presented in a way to make him jump. So theoretically, if any twists like Claire or Descole's reveal were presented much more aggressively, he might emote like how I've drawn him (though I kinda doubt it). Or just jumpscare him lmao
SADNESS: Obviously we know that Layton can feel sadness and cry, though even at the end of Unwound Future it's clear that he's still holding back with his crying. I'd wager that it's because he's out in public and around an impressionable individual (Luke) that he's not letting himself fully express his grief. After all, a true gentleman never makes a scene in public.
I'd say, if he were to cry like the way I've drawn him (that is, bawling his eyes out), it'd probably be at the end of UF when Luke leaves for America, and he'd have to be alone. And I mean completely alone. He'd be very careful about having anyone even remotely near him before he breaks down sobbing; he'd wait for Luke to go home, and wait a while to make sure that he hears no other footsteps around who could potentially walk in on him, before crying. And even then, he'd still repress it - trying to choke back sobs to make sure he isn't heard, pulling the brim of his hat over his eyes and covering his eyes with his hand, the works. Because sadness/crying is weakness to him, and a true gentleman can never show weakness.
ANGER: Frankly, I feel like this is one of the emotions I've drawn that I actually could see him showing in the series proper. We've seen him in Unwound Future just barely holding back his anger at Clive when he endangered Flora/started wrecking havoc on London (obviously still restrained- yadda yadda yadda "true gentleman" blah blah blah).
To get him to unrestrain it, I'd say you would have to put a lot of people he cares about (particularly his wards - Luke and Flora would likely be excellent choices) in direct danger, as well as taunt him to a personal degree enough times. Because even the Professor has limits to how much mental strain he can take, and all limits can be broken. It's just a matter of pushing the right (or wrong!) buttons on him.
FEAR: This one's tough I think. As an adult who's seen a lot (including his own death), it's pretty hard to find something that would really scare him to that degree. Throughout the series the most he seems to show in terms of fear is either: a) surprise that he quickly recovers from, or b) the end of Unwound Future when he realizes that Claire can't stay with him.
I say that theoretically (and REALLY emphasize on the "theoretically"), you might be able to get him to emote the way I've drawn him... if you subject him to anything akin to his recently unrepressed memories of his childhood, and he's rendered helpless to do anything to help but watch. But like I said, only theoretically. I'd wager that he'd probably just be angry too.
LAUGHTER: ...I honestly have no good clue to how or when he'd emote like this. For him to laugh so heartily, he'd have to be in a state of extreme emotional vulnerability, which isn't often.
I'd say it'd be at a time where he's feeling very relieved, or elated (and they'd both have to be situations that connect to him personally too; outside events won't phase him). How he'd laugh to such an extent I'm not actually sure, BUT I could paint a bit of a scenario: It's the end of UF, but Claire could actually stay without dying, and she makes a sort of lighthearted joke in light of the events. Would he laugh wholeheartedly? I dunno. But judging on what we've seen of him, it's a maybe.
It's a shame we never get to see him emote so colourfully in the hexalogy proper, but as I've stated before in another long-winded half-legible ramble character analysis, he's SEVERELY repressing his emotions due to Claire's last words/"gentleman" values/positive reinforcements from his peers and environments for successfully hiding his emotions. Poor guy.
#mak talks smack#mak talks back#professor layton#hershel layton#character analysis#i guess.?#mostly just me yapping eternally while trying to make sure i'm actually understood#i was waiting until i had enough mental capacity to type this on my laptop so sorry for the wait anon#but this is the gist of what i think#ALSO I FEEL THE NEED TO ADD#I DO NOT HATE CLAIRE IN ANY WAY AT ALL!!!#she's just made some very unfortunate wording choices which have exacerbated his repression issues further :(#but like i said in the art post the laughing one i put in bc i felt bad. lmao#most of the emotions i've drawn were just fun exercises for me#realistically would he show half of them? probably not#but oh well#still it's fun to draw him feeling extremes#especially when his face is just :-) or :-|#limitations are the key to progress!!
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And this right here is the first proof we have that Huaien is lying to Xiaobao.
Of course, he's lying on his background as a bodyguard, but that's different from lying to Xiaobao's face - it's a general cover that the Jin's men discovered through investigation. It's not directly relevant to their relationship.
But the rest of it? I'm expecting most if not all of the stories about his family to be truthful - as well as his disbelief in love. Sure, he's hiding a lot, but most of what he's revealed to Xiaobao was likely true.
It doesn't, however, mean that it was genuine. I was asking last week if Huaien's vulnerability was genuine or a calculated way to manipulate Xiaobao. I'm of the opinion it's going too quickly to be entirely genuine - Huaien doesn't strike me as the type to make love declarations that early.
This lie proves that it is at least part of said vulnerability is manipulative. He pretends to have sacrificed a great deal to save Xiaobao when in reality his mission was perfectly fulfilled. Of course the document he gave whoever this asshole is was a decoy; Huaien isn't stupid.
But he nods when Xiaobao asks if he gave their attacker what he wanted, lying to cement the idea that he's falling in love with Xiaobao and that he's ready to risk his father's anger for him. It's the first clear confirmation we have that he's purposefully manipulating Xiaobao.
Of course, it comes to bite him in the ass instantly when his father's next order it to kill the Jin family, which actually puts him in a situation where he has to chose between his father and Xiaobao.
Up to that point, he could tell himself that every time he was allowing Xiaobao close, it was for the good of the mission. That he was seducing him to use him to get the accounting book. That he was being vulnerable and open to manipulate Xiaobao and not because he was enjoying his attention, his care, his warmth. That he was protecting him to endear Xiaobao to him and not because he cares about him. That he was being possessive because the seduction plan will work better is Xiaobao's attention is focused solely on him.
Now though? Now he's going to have to make a choice.
Does he follow his father's orders in hope that he will actually give him his freedom, but lose Xiaobao's warmth?
Does he try to pretend he followed his orders while hiding Xiaobao somewhere?
Or worse, does he fully disobey his father and try to save the whole family, because Xiaobao has both shown and stated that he'll be sad if his family dies?
#and the show made sure he'll have to make that choice by adding other people who want the Jin's heads AND keeping Su Yin away where he won't#be able to help#leaving Huaien the only person who will be able to help the Jin when fate strikes#it's called being stuck between a rock and a hard place#i LOVE when a show so meticulously puts a character in a situation where he HAS to make choices#bad choices terrible choices harrowing choices#it's going to be delicious#we'll get some brothel shenanigans first#a big show of possessiveness and a good pretext to extract from Xiaobao the promise to forgive him for anything#and then I guess the next choice will be on Xiaobao :)#i'm loving it here#meet you at the blossom#huaibao#huaien x xiaobao#zongzheng huaien#mine
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if you hate jayce talis i'm sorry but i will perceive you as a person devoid of media literacy
#i'm so sorry jayce you were chosen to be the scapegoat of arcane#all of the characters said shitty things all of them made questionable choices but he's the unforgivable one oh sure#how can you hate jayce for doing something bad and then go on to praise and love jinx. like. ok. that's funny#like. they hate him for sleeping with mel like he KNEW that viktor was almost dying at the same time??!?!?!?#yeah i'm sure that was his evil plan all along i'll have sex while knowing that my best friend is dying in the other room#i'm not saying that people aren't allowed to dislike a character. no. that's perfectly normal#but the jayce hate is Absurd. it became a mindless trend and it's so fucking weird and waaaaay out of proportion#y'all wouldn't last a day with jayce giopara the true babygirl
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i have no idea how the american school system works so i’m currently trying to figure out what kind of subjects the tales turtles would choose for their highers
#tottmnt is set only like two months after the movie so it’s still 2023… by that point S4s would be doing their subject choices for S5#i’ve figured out donnie and mikey’s subject choices but i’m not really sure about leo and raph?#mostly leo. he’s tricky to figure out#i want to make raph take drama because of the second arc in tales but i’m not sure how well that would work?#he’s a good storyteller that’s for sure. but i can’t figure out what subject that would work for#if he took drama he’d probably do a tech role………#also he DEFINETLY takes PE. lameo#tbf not as bad as donnie taking physics. BOOOOO WORST SCIENCE!!!#actually donnie’s subject choices all suck ASS if i had his timetable i would lose my rag#also i’d like to say i made mikey choose french purely because of the je ne sais quoi thing.#okay there’s two things i know for leo actually. he’d take art and would be in set 1 english.#english is mandatory for higher iirc so for sets…….#raph is set 3 mikey is set 5 and donnie is set 2#he was in set 1 in S3 but his teachers moved him down because he ‘needed more support’ and he’s STILL pissed about it#can’t relate. when it comes to english i was always middle set misia#misia has a stupid thought
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Something else that makes me sympathetic to Pharma's situation is like. Idk if there's an actual term for this or if someone smarter and more academic wrote it about some real life context that actually matters.
But, so we've already established among Pharma stans that the circumstances at Delphi were blackmail/torture with no real way out that wouldn't involve Pharma being responsible for people getting killed (either killing patients for the deal or having everyone die bc he failed his end of the deal).
And I feel like while "he's still in the wrong because he killed people" is part of it, another sort of implicit part is the idea that Pharma should've been willing to take more personal risk, maybe even risk dying? I mean, Ratchet does ask "why didn't you just detonate it near the DJD" (to which Pharma responds that he did try to get Sonic and Boom to do it, but they refused) so like
Idk I feel like we do have this social notion of martyrs as a very romantic ideal, people you can praise for being so brave and strong and righteous that they ended their own lives for their cause, while you can also coo about how sad and tragic it is that dying is what it took for them to do the right thing. But at the same time I feel like in reality, having an expectation that people become martyrs is kind of a toxic social norm bc like. It's very easy to demand that others sacrifice their lives for some Ultimate Moral Good when you yourself aren't experiencing the same hardships as they are. And ultimately it is kind of fucked up to tell someone "the moral thing you should've done was risk your life/kill yourself" because asking someone to pay their life to do the right thing is no small request. And sure, the typical response would be to call them a "coward" for caring more about saving their own skin instead of doing the right thing... but again, death is a really scary thing and self-preservation is a really strong instinct, so it kind of feels like having this binary view of "you're either a Brave Hero who sacrifices your life for everyone else or a Dirty Coward who's too scared of dying to do what's right" is kind of fucked up?
I guess the best way to describe it is that if someone willingly gives up their life as a sacrifice to others, it can be a noble thing because it's a choice they made willingly, but if it becomes a Moral Standard that in order to be a Good Person you have to be unafraid of throwing your life away and if you aren't willing to die you're a Cowardly Bad Person, that's when it becomes toxic.
Idk, I guess how this ties back to Pharma is that he was never in a position where he expected to make these kinds of moral decisions/ultimatums. He's a doctor who doesn't even get into combat, his job is to heal and not to kill, he's behind the front lines in a hospital that's supposed to be a safe, neutral place for him to heal people. So in the face of suddenly having a "murder people on behalf of me, or I murder everyone you swore to protect" ultimatum thrust upon him, I understand why Pharma wasn't """"""""""brave enough"""""""""" to "do the right thing" (whatever that would've been in the case of Delphi). You could argue that maybe a frontliner soldier accepted the burden of possibly dying for their cause and they've become used to it as someone who lives that reality every single day, but I feel like for Pharma, who's a doctor and a protected non-combatant (from what we can tell), that sort of risking of his life/living with the fact his life could be snuffed out any day isn't something he would've been prepared for at all.
And for me personally, from an outsider's perspective, it strikes me as kind of unethical to go "oh well he should've just detonated the bomb himself even if it killed him" bc again, there's a difference between witnessing a moral conundrum as a bystander versus being the person living with it and being under time pressure where it's do-or-die. Just as part of my personal standards, I feel like death is such a huge consequence/burden of someone's actions (literally you are no longer alive, any potential you had left is cut short, you cease to exist on this plane) that it feels rather callous to go "Well you should've just been willing to die for your beliefs if you really cared that much!!!"
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#this is only like tangentially related to pharma honestly#not to compare blorbos to real life but like. it reminds me of this phenomenon where privileged ppl in privileged countries#will tell ppl living in zones of war and strife 'oh well if you don't like your gov so bad just revolt against them'#like oh yes tell me how easy it is to stand up against the threats of torture and death#surely the only reason people would want to avoid that is bc they're cowards or don't want to stand up for their beliefs#contrary to what nationalism would have ppl believe. 'wanting to not die' isn't a moral position#everyone wants to live. no one wants to die. it doesnt make you a bad person to be scared of dying#esp (going back to blorbo's) in a situation like pharma's where every option he had ended in death#the death of his patients or the death of everyone at delphi or his death personally#on top of the fact he's a noncombatant who hasn't been desensitized to violence/risking his own life#and is dealing with a trained group of killers that he can't possibly match on physical terms#so yeah actually i don't blame pharma for what he did#he made shitty decisions in a shitty situation but was ultimately a victim#also if you want to view the blackmail deal from a framework of abuse#it is also fucked up to basically tell someone they werent brave enough to just kill their accuser or ask for help#isnt the entire point of such situations that the victim is both powerless to stop the abuse#and too afraid of asking for help/thinks they cant ask for help. and thats why they dont just get out#idk sometimes the best moral judgement is to forgive someone or view it as 'complicated'#sometimes regardless of the good or evilness of their actions the best choice is to not make a judgement#or to err in favor of a forgiving/'i cant speak for your experience' judgement#anyways the fact is that the rosy fantasy of being a brave noble soldier who sacrifices for the cause#rarely stands up to reality where youre just terrified and powerless and dont know what to do#and suddenly the rosy glow of The Noble Cause isnt comforting in the prospect of horrible torturous death
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taylor swift lyrics that keep u up at night?
*takes a deep breath*
remember looking at this room, we loved it cause of the light now i just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time.
(oversharing in the tags)
#i know it's not the most obvious choice and i think i've never talked about this line before#but i think it will keep me up at night for the rest of my life#so when i heard you're losing me for the first time i was in a very similar situation#most of you don't even know i was engaged and had the most terrible break up this year#it's easier when someone breaks up with you#it's much harder when you have to make that decision#and the hardest when you know you made this decision already but you're not sure if it's actually the time...#and i feel like both taylor and i knew it was the only option but we were never 100% sure if it's time to go#if that makes sense#i did eventually#i still remember moving into our apartment 3+ years ago when we were still happy#and then spending last six months of our relationship alone in this apartment knowing it's going nowhere and i have to leave eventually#and moving out in june to my own small cozy place i live in now#but i never even got closure#so i still didn't fully recover#and it will haunt me forever#trust me this line always makes me cry#ugh#sorry for that#i still miss him sometimes even tho he was a bad person#thanks for the ask tho#i feel like i wanted to say all of that long ago and you just gave me a perfect opportunity to do that#so i'm grateful ❤️#yes i got your letter yes i'm doing better*
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Talia saying Jason with 24 hours and a survival kit, fresh from the pit, couldn't be tracked by Ra's is interesting
And oopsies I liveblogged all of lost days in the tags of this post
#lot more words of being pit mad floating about. wonder how to weave that into my interpretation of jason well#and without getting rid of all his choices#because it IS interesting. but its such a shame when its used to take away everything from jason himself#also WOW! He looks so small#dc liveblog#immediately going in to explode batman no hesitation at all dang#he found out the joker was alive and got to work#oh that is impressive patience to get to the Batmobile#love when jason gets written as calculated and patient for his plans. heart emoji#not sure how to feel about jasons insistence on wanting to kill bruce yet. need to figure that one out#need to chew on the idea more#Ra's AND talia thinking hes a curse on the world..... and hes only like a few days or something post pit. guy of all time#oh talia convinced him to do guns in order to stall him thats fun#oh no talia what are they doing to you#i am actively updating these tags while reading through#oh! fun! i love when jason sets everything on fire and is one step ahead#im liking lost days more than i thought. if i ignore the bad parts#theres bad parts#jason is a fast learner but man is he a fast learner here#teachers: surveillance. small arms. close combat. bombs. sniper/guns#toxins. how to main/kill in a fight#and about a month on all of em usually#we should talk about the fact jason can vomit on command more#oh hey his iconic knife is meant to be a replica of Ra's#thats neat#and add in the annual 25 dialogue where where one theory was the pit made him like ras#thats an interesting line. dont think they went down that path though#jason with a beard or stubble freaks me out. something wrong there#and i do believe theyre comparing him to the joker at the end there thats fun#wonder if i should watch the utrh movie now
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scrambled egg brain hours
I'm going to say that Clothar+Abyss Order and Kaeya's biological father do not have the same goal/plan in mind, and that the Caribert quest is there to misdirect our attention from a different revenge plot happening at the same time...
#kaeyas father made a weird decision that gave me a red flag about this entire thing#its as if he was making choices with an even deeper and longer plot in mind...#the way he talked about his clan and how he talked to kaeya does not match with the abyss orders plot so far#im saying scrambled egg coz this might just be me overthinking again#me when mhy might have bad plot writing abilities:#kaeya#kaeya alberich#im not sure if im saying this might involve pierro and the tsaritsa either#kaeya has interacted with both the abyss order and the fatui before but it seems detached?#no not detached what i mean is that it was made to look misleading#theres more to this#a 3rd side basically
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#ok I get that everyone mad etc but it drives me crazy that prople act like Gaiman had little/no impact on good omens#that's just not true. there wouldn't be book without him as sure as it wasn't be without Terry#there for sure wouldn't be tv series and especially not with MS and DT as Aziraphale and Crowley#his voice clearly resonate through azicrowley relationships specifically#(I love Terry and his humor but tragic cross star lovers are not his strength#you all make jokes about how sandman dbd and go had the same hundred-years-slowburn vibe#that's what he brings into pairings!)#like you don't need to like him you don't need to discuss author at all! focus on text or on actor's choices etc#but like. it doesn't stop being Gaiman's work as much as Terry's and other people and pretending it is is like#sticking fingers in your ears and going lalala#people can do awful things to one people and wonderful and uplifting to other. that's reality babe! accept it!#I promise you won't become yacky because you read something by Gaiman!#but you *will* look suspicious pretending that you actually doesn't touch anything made by bad people and your fave book/show made only by#good and noble people#anyway. I don't actually care about this or Gaiman it's just that I saw several absolutely identical posts with same#'actually it was made by Terry and Gaiman like breathed a little at text so it's okay to like it because it's not actually Gaiman's work'
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thinking about how easily ray was willing to make an exception to his firm ‘i can only save emma and norman’ stance once don and gilda are actually in on the escape. the fact that, during his ‘deal’ with norman in ep 5 ‘we can bring don and gilda too’ isnt a condition norman had that ray begrudgingly agreed to but rather one that ray brought up completely unprompted.
ray has spent years coming to terms with the fact that saving everyone is impossible, years putting emma and norman over everyone else because they were the most precious people in his life and because risking a bigger escape could get everyone killed. he thought it was better for the others to live ignorant, happy lives until their shipment than to get killed on the outside.
ray never had that same ignorant bliss the others had, emma and norman lost it after seeing conny, and while don and gilda aren’t given the full truth at first, they are given enough to have that illusion shattered for them as well. i just think a lot about how ray knows what it’s like to be trapped in that house without that happy illusion, and the moment don and gilda lose it, he can’t allow himself to push them away anymore.
#skye's ramblings#I DUNNO IM JUST. I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS. even before the escape ray cares abt everyone so so much#his whole thing is he wants to minimize their grief. if he cant save them he wants to make sure they dont suffer at all#he pushes them away not just for his own emotions but bc he thinks theyll handle his eventual death better if theyre not close to him#hes just a scared kid who wants to help everyone!!! so so bad!!!! fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!!!!#also why the whole situation w phil makes me insane like. ray had no input in that decision. im not sure he wouldve let him stay behind#yeees it was phils choice to stay but rays the only ond who knows what that choice actually fucking means!!!!! fuck!!!#and as ive made abundantly clear. i reaally love ray's apology to don in ep 6 not only for thedevelopment between them#but also bc of the look emma n norman exchange when he does it. they definitely know hes distanced himself from everyone else#even if they dont have every detail at this point. he has made his stance on making sure they escape at any cost abundantly clear#ray means the world to them but they dont want to be his only source of comfort yknow. seeing that brief vulnerability was everything <3#ohhhhh im so. rays relationship w both don and gilda is everything to me. lying onthe foor
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