#support my bad decisions lol
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wonder-worker · 9 months ago
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A.J Pollard’s biography on Edward IV was so cringe lol (generic; minor but frustrating inaccuracies; intensely judgmental at times and oddly dismissive at others while never considering the broader context; entirely diminished and trivialized Elizabeth Woodville as both queen and wife of his main subject in the name of "defending" her; created a false dichotomy between Edward and Henry VII’s styles of ruling and lauded the latter at the former’s expense even though Henry literally followed Edward’s example for the very things Pollard was criticizing Edward for; had a downright nonsensical and thoroughly misleading conclusion about Edward’s legacy & Richard’s usurpation that was based entirely on hindsight, Pollard's own assumptions, and the complete downplaying Richard’s agency and actions to emphasize what Pollard wrongly and misleadingly claimed were Edward's so-called 'failings', etc, etc)
I wanted to buy his book on Henry V but after reading this shitshow and the synopsis of that book, im guessing it's going to be 10x worse, so...no thanks
#history media#this was written months ago im posting it to get it out of my drafts#it wasn't necessarily BAD. it was generic and readable. but it was very disappointing and misleading and its conclusion was just nonsense#listen I have no patience for the dumbfuck idea that edward somehow had the ultimate responsibility for his own son's deposition because#of his 'policies' during his reign. like I said it's based fully on hindsight and entirely devoid of actual context. it's bafflingly stupid#literally everyone expected Edward V to succeed his father and 'both hoped for and expected' (Croyland's own words) a successful reign#Edward V's deposition was richard and solely Richard's fault lol this should not be difficult to understand#the reason Richard's usurpation was possible in the first place was bcause everyone expected E5 to succeed and didn't expect Richard#do to what he did. nothing would have happened without his initiative and decisions. it had nothing to do with Edward's 'policies'#Edward's policies were fine. henry vii - who pollard vaunts to no end - literally *followed* them#and claiming that he failed to unite England under the Yorkist dynasty is just plain stupid#buddy if he truly failed at that then neither Richard III nor Henry VII would have thrones lol. both emphasized continuity with#him when aiming for the throne. like the whole point of 1483-85 was that it was a conflict WITHIN the 'Yorkist' dynasty#it was not an external threat against it.#'his legacy failed' his legacy didn't fail his brother destroyed it (while also presenting himself as his heir because logic what's logic?)#henry's victory was very much the triumph of his legacy (a claimant chosen by his supporters as the husband of his daughter)#like this is really not my interpretation it is literally what happened#i'm not trying to glorify e4 but his son did inherit the throne in a more advantageous circumstances than any other minor king of england#and frankly than most other adult kings. dumping blame on Edward's literal corpse rather than acknowledge Richard's agency is so tasteless#the problem isn't that edward made a mistake in trusting his brother. many other kings including Henry V also trusted theirs.#the problem is that his brother was willing to break that trust in a way that was unprecedented and broke all political norms of that age#ie: Richard's usurpation occurred because of Richard who re-ignited conflict to make himself king. please drill this into your head#also btw this illogical 'interpretation' is based entirely on Charles Ross' hatred and derision towards Elizabeth Woodville and her family#if you agree with this inteterpretation you agree with his vilification of them đŸ€·đŸ»â€â™€ïž#anyway if you want a better interpretation that's actually analytical and looks a relevant rather than a flawed retrospective perspective#i would recommend rosemary horrox's 'richard iii: a study of service' and david horspool's 'richard iii: a ruler and his reputation'#anyway one last time: STOP downplaying Richard's agency and actions. historians who do this are stupid and embarrassing. bye.#(i should really post horspool's glorious takedown of ross and Pollard huh? it was very entertaining to read)
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devilsskettle · 8 months ago
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i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill
#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how they’ve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc#and act like it’s ‘cringe’ now that their fanbase feels ‘betrayed’#it’s great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time#it’s interesting too though because i’ve seen watcher have a LOT of support as they’ve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed#so this is the first time they’re getting real pushback about a decision they’ve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand#so ig we’ll have to see how they react moving forward#but it’s soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed#AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away#how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc#but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed it’s like how dare you not lick their boots#because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free#anyway.#even if you don’t any to say it’s a bad business decision. it’s not like there’s not precedent for it#1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever#don’t you guys watch those dnd shows that are ‘behind a paywall’#don’t you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations#don’t you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time#it’s interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like they’re friends!!!!#but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for#idk. idk. it’s entitlement though#sorry for the rant i’m ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i don’t know#but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol#anyway i’m still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions#also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc#like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly#‘they should’ve paid a real artist!!’ idk maybe their budget didn’t cover that#i don’t want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing#the big studios (who don’t have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit#but that’s another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing#maybe controversial but also can’t we have nuance. for once.
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rosicheeks · 5 months ago
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I hope your days aren't as heavy and dark, I am sending all the positive thoughts your way. You deserve the best, fairy princess. <3
😭
#I’ve been getting such sweet asks#I can’t tell you how much they mean to me right now#unfortunately my days have been pretty dark and overwhelming#struggling more than I ever have before tbh#and I’ve struggled most of my life so that’s saying something#also tried to go on TikTok for a little bit and oh BOY that was a bad decision#I might come back sometime soon#it’s just hard when my meds and everything have been making me very sex repulsed 😬#and half of the posts on my feed are very sexy related lol#so I guess that’s probably the main reason I haven’t been on here as much as I used to#also really don’t have the energy to reply or talk to people anymore#(sorry to anyone who has tried to DM me or contact me in any way -#I’ve barely been able to get out of bed so I definitely don’t have the energy to reply to people)#fun fact I went on TikTok finally cause everyone keeps talking about it#somehow ended up on the abortion debate side of TikTok???? so I kept seeing these bullshit debates#the final straw was the other day I saw some dipshit put as their claim ‘prochoice is a mental illness’#don’t even get me started on that it makes me so made I start to shake#I’m sorry but that is so offensive to people who are struggling with real mental illnesses???#went up as a guest (surprisingly) and was trying to explain how ridiculous that statement was and one of the people literally said#‘this is not a safe space’#lol ok byeeeee#obviously not expecting every where to be a safe space but for someone to literally SAY that is wild to me#I always try to keep a safe space no matter who I’m talking to or what about#that still is bothering me so so much#main reason why I’m still on there is cause I love this creator and want to support her as much as possible#but idk how much longer I can be on there
 was even thinking about trying to post and make money over there#but ha ha ha guess not#back to square one#I’m running out of space as always but thank you so so so much for the kind words they mean the world to me!! also FAIRY princess???#I’ve never heard that before đŸ„čđŸ„čđŸ„č thank you thank you thank you wishing you a lovely day đŸ«¶
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amatres · 2 years ago
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the apparent feelings bann teagan has for the female warden becomes even funnier in the timeline they're a mage, bc like, she's partially responsible for the fact that jowan got out of the tower and was put into the situation to poison arl eamon to begin with
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radmista · 2 years ago
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jesus fuck i feel bad for your poor girlfriend. just tell her you're a radfem
My gf knows I hold radical feminist views. Even before we've dated, I've talked openly and loudly about female liberation and sex based oppression, abortion access, hookup culture making young teens think theyre abnormal for not craving sex at 15, my thoughts on shaving, etc. She's even told me that talking about these things has helped her not feel the compulsion to shave her arms anymore.
She knows I'm a feminist and that I have radical views. The only thing I've never explicitly stated is that I'm gender critical of the trans movement as well (bc in general, this is social suicide and I have a career I want to protect). I have spoken about my gender critical views, I just don't call them that in conversation. Like I've ranted about the usage of terms like "boy clothes" and "boymode" to describe comfortable lounge clothing and that clothing has no gender. We've even debated about single sex spaces and even talked about JKR's funding of Beira's place. Like shockingly, we can disagree on things and still be together.
Idk what the point of your message really was. Is it "your poor gf" bc I complain about her very gendie/tumblr-q***r viewpoints? Or do you feel bc I'm a radfem it makes me a bad partner and that my gf is suffering by being partnered with me? I love her and want the best for her, but it doesn't stop me from being frustrated when she supports a movement that infringes on womens rights. I feel like I'm allowed to complain on my personal feminist tumblr about that lol
#the thing I appreciate a lot about her is that she does debate and hold discussion about various topcs with me#but what bothers me the most and just demonstrates how cult like the tq rainbow+ community is is how anti debate she is on those topics#we can talk about sex segreated spaces and mostly agree but then she has to mention TiM's and holds a 'no debate they're women' stance#and her defense of them is always so robotic or comes off as her quoting a stanza every 'supporter' has to say. ev#*even during our talks about abortion in her automated caveat about tq+ people she mentions tims being affected by the abortion ban#like they're not. but including them in everything is the preprogrammed response. and that is at the core of my complaints abt her stances#they aren't actually hers. its just rhe most progressive thing to believe and regurgitate. it frustrates me bc she is v intelligent#but she in general holds many libfem-y beliefs. maybe in the long run our relationship won't be sustainable idk thats a bridge for later#ik eventually I'll have to lay out my thoughts i don't tell her now and see what happens#I've come to terms that she may breakup with me over my gc radfem views.#I've come to terms she may break up with me over my views on the trans movement as she's a big supporter of it. thats her decision#but again. its a bridge for the future. and i will be respectful of her decision. I'm not entitled to a relationship or her love#anyway just rambling at this point. time for my meds lol.#anon#like am i a bad person for not telling her how i feel the tq movement is regressive af. i dont get the angle of this message#sorry if I'm missing the point of what you're trying to say to me
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#ok. so the guy from school i visited emailed me today like: good news! we unanimously voted to extend u an offer here#so expect the formal offer in the next week. and im like uuuugh i wanna say yes so bad#bc in the us i would have more flexibility in the program than i would in the uk#and my options in the us r either to b a big fish in a small pond at this schoolor a little fish in a big pond at the other#bc this school is underfunded and a bit isolated out in the mountains but the staff r pretty great and big egos dont seem like a big issue#but if i go to the other school its like a big well funded school. the application was like 75 dollars. fuck u and really annoying#and i mean id have to live in new jersey. so in the city with city driving and prob a more high pressure school environment#and more of a chance of dealing with big egos. but like career wise im sure it would b good. assuming i don't mentally collapse#but i mean that doesnt seem as fun as spending 5 years out in the rocky mountains#like thry have fucking moose and bears! there were deer and turkeys in town!#and my dad just sent me a video of all the spring peepers singing back home and im like 😭 bc froggies and he was like i bet u could find#frogs out in [redacted city] and im like 😭 ur right. it just seems like the better choice for my poor overtaxed brain and the project is#so cool too. i want to get the cyano species as my computer background asap. and the guy is nice and apparently super supportive#and i could probably walk to hiking trails. god. i mean i have to say yes to that. i wanna say yes so bad. send me the formal offer bro#ill fucking take it before i even hear back from the other schools lol. ugh. i hate making choices#oof i am so excited to kno where im going and plan my departure. its gonna b such a pain moving tho i pray that my mum or dad can drive#with me bc otherwise the 20hr drive by myself might kill me. thats almost as bad as my initial move out here lol. the us is so big#ugh. again choices. is this the right choice? probably one of the biggest decisions of my life. the project feels so right. cyanobacteria#my algal group of choice. and hot springs. how tf do u say to no to that? i mean. id b doing that in new jersey too but with red algae#ugh. put me out of this misery lol. also as an aside. shout out to my fucking disaster brain for not being able to focus on a single thing#my boss in a meeting: so glad to have students and staff so excited to b working on this project!! me: lady i hate that im on this project#bc im just sitting in until they can get an actual student. i just do what im told but appreciate the enthusiasm lol#ay. im so tired. i wanna see the snow and mountains. and fix my head. and get outta the desert. and listen to frogs 🐾 😌#unrelated
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navramanan · 2 years ago
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I go through these short periods of time feeling very okay and good even only bc i distract myself from what pains me until it catches up again and the cycle repeats itself
#i think it's verrrrrrrrry close to catching up again after i've had normal 2 weeks lol#so many ifs and buts and would things be better had i made a different decision lived in a different place or time etc#but i'll never now i'll always only have the here and now and the unchangeable past#and the very incertain scary future i'm trying so so so hard to be hopeful about but seeing things as they are right now. i really dont kno#i can only fake it to some point. i cant fake it till i make it. i'll fall apart countless times and then wont make it anyway#i feel like. i feel like all the circumstances i've been in have all always been against me#like i'm the only unlucky one among the people i know#i try so so so hard to remind myself that people who seem to have it so much better have their own problems too#but then also i remember something i wrote down once as a teen. the phrase you typically hear#''i have been battling (?) with this problem but am lucky enough to have a support system / loving friends etc''#and idk how right i am with thinking this way but no matter what problems you have.#it's the toughest thing to lack deep connections with at least 1 person ideally like 3 i guess bc it's such a fundamental thing#you know having someone you can ALWAYS turn to without feeling bad and you know that they can and do turn to you too#and i do have a few wonderful friends i love so so much but i feel and know that no one needs me like i need them#every friendships feels so fragile to me. no one depends on me turns to me for advice or to vent etc#and when i feel like i need to do any of those things i cant turn to any of them#there's still inevitably a sort of disconnect i feel#and it terrifies me that i'll never find someone i connect with on a deeper level and it's mutual and we both can depend on each other#and there are no boundaries no shame no unspoken words#i dont know how true any of my feelings are but. but yeah#nesi rants
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arolesbianism · 4 months ago
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I need to make a new pmd story right now or I'll explode
#rat rambles#someone I follow made some pmd ocs based on one of their pokerogue runs and Im just sitting here like why didnt I do that first fuck#I have three guys Ive been using in literally every run (because theyre my only tier 3 shinies lol) and I wanna make them ocs sooo bad#I might end up doing it but I mostly am just unsure because Id have to make some tough decisions when it comes to their designs#mainly if I stick closer to the actual colors used for the shinies or make my own pallets for them#on the one hand I Do like the colors used for them but on the other hand I wouldn't actually want this story to be too pokerogue inspired#so like Id feel bad using the pokerogue shinies for a story that ultimately has little to nothing to do with it#second biggest issue is that one of them is a golurk and god I dont wanna draw that#also one of them is a pyukumuku and thats fine by me but it does necessitate some creativity#the other two are an eevee and leavanny#although Id definitely have the eevee evolve into flareon since my best runs with him were when he was one#now tbf those also happened to be the runs I got multilense on him (one of them I got two on him) and he was able to stunlock anything#slower than him to death with bites and steal all their items with covet#Im so glad they switched eevee's passive to pick up it makes my life so much easier#simple wasnt Terrible but it was hard to use well since most of its evolutions arent strong or defensive enough to utilize it well#tbf I didnt try very hard since leavanny is my default sweeper and he learns sword dance#but eevee does make for good support early on at least even if it takes good rng for it to hold up well late game#tbf leavanny should also be in that camp but its simply built different (gets sharpness as a passive)#golurk is the real one that falls off hard tho unfortunately#which sucks because it's terrible early game and good for like five seconds mid game and then mostly terrible late game#I say mostly because god does my boy hard carry me through the final boss every time#generally a decently built leavanny with stone axe can cleave through 90% of the game but bestie gets hard countered by the final boss#I will say tho that Ive enjoyed using pyukymuku Way more than I thought I would its lowkey highkey saved my ass more time than I can count#its soooo important in pokerogue to have a stalling pokemon because youre inevitably going to need one#oh yeah I forgot to mention that eevee isnt one of the tier three shinies but my boy is the lesser of two evils amongs my tier two shinies#the other is goldeen. which I have also used in a huge chunk of my runs. it was the second shiny I got.#that guy tormented me so bad I was sitting here having to convince myself that the seaking carry was real#every now and then I get to use a better water type and I feel a surge of emotion as I remember what it feels like to use a good water type#and then I sigh and go back to seaking since I need my luck score maxxed out and I dont have space for my other tier two shines because#theyre both 5 costs
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backtodecembertv · 5 months ago
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i wish my family could be more calm and supportive but they’re not therapists and it might not be an entirely reasonable expectation
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matrix-pawz · 7 months ago
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ISTG I wanna ramble on to somebody about ghost and pals but it'd all be gibberish :/
#...........................................................................................................................................#secret vent lol#idk why i get so mad at myself easily#like- id be patient and reassuring to other people#but to myself?#ha#my dad implemented all these expectations into my brain that i cant get over and beat myself up over#heres a list:#everything has to be perfect#i cant make any mistakes#if something bad happens its my own fault and i should fix it if not im a bad person#i should take care of others more than myself#if i dont make it i should just be better#if i cant find something quickly then im irresponsible#and if i cant live up to other peoples expectations then i should work herder#it never matters how hard i work#my arms could be falling off and he would just tell me “work harder”#and then a few things i got off him that he didnt like that contrasts with what i was taught#when arguing always be the loudest and biggest which isnt good because if i snap during a small argument it could get into a bigger fight#fucking violence do i even need to explain? he was violent so i became violent (sadly :c i dont wanna be like him)#inappropriate language he always cussed while yelling and i kinda adopted that#and manipulation i dont like doing it and sometimes i do it unwillingly and then i beat myself over it like;#“i should let them make their own decisions but i can't help it i probably shouldnt even be here in worse for them”#and then that leads to me cutting off contact with a bunch of people#i dont wanna be like my dad but i cant control it i really wanna be better ive been trying to get better#but i dont know how i can#this was how i was raised#i tried to change how i act to fit other people#ive made up a whole fake personality where i have a normal family and im always supportive and shit#that isnt me i wish it was but it isnt. im a terrible fucking person and i dont know why i even exist!!!
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qqueenofhades · 5 months ago
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oh god is biden dropping out? i don't know what happens then
Jesus effing Christ.
Few thoughts:
The billionaire Democratic donors got their way, apparently. All I saw was that the big-dollar donors were secretly putting pressure on the rank-and-file Democratic elected officials (i.e. House and Senate) to denounce Biden or not get any more money, and other shameful backroom maneuvering to knife Biden. I will refrain (lol, no I won't) from speculating that billionaires of any political stripe feel threatened by Biden's increasingly progressive tax/wealth redistribution policies, and saw their chance after the bad debate performance to knife him. Because until further notice, I'm going to think that was the biggest factor.
I don't know if there's an actual health condition that made Biden agree it was the best time (in fucking July) to step down, but if this was an issue, there needed to be planning last year, at the earliest, to prepare for a new successor. I don't know what's going on. This is a clusterfuck on many, many levels.
However: it is true that this does change things and not necessarily only for the worse, as long as Harris is immediately confirmed as the new nominee and this stupid Democrats In Disarray nonsense, which is giving the media exactly what they want, is put to a fucking end. If Harris is also swept aside and the billionaire donors try to install their preferred "Centrist!!!" candidate (lol Manchin or some shit) with an equally antidemocratic closed-door Star Chamber convention, then yes, we're fucked. Because the Congressional Black Caucus and African American voters saw exactly what the rich white man billionaires were trying to do by torching Biden and then Harris, and they are not going to play ball with some Magical White Man replacement.
If Harris is immediately confirmed as the new nominee (and to the best of my knowledge Biden has endorsed her), then she has a chance of reinvigorating the race. There were a lot of Americans who did not want either Biden or Trump. I suspect they were fucking braindead, but so be it. Harris has apparently polled pretty and increasingly well in recent days (in some cases actually better than Biden) and again, there is no remotely small-d democratic alternative to her. The billionaire donors already trashed the duly elected (by the primary process) Democratic nominee. If they do the same to Harris, then yes. We will have Trump and there won't be any more democracy in this country on either side, because the Republican big-bucks donors will gleefully pick up where the Democratic big-bucks donors left off.
Jesus fucking Christ.
The message needs to be "Harris is Joe's successor, she is younger and already has four years of experience and is the only candidate." Anything else is a fucking gift from god to the Republicans, once more getting trashed after Trump's terrible RNC speech. Maybe she can then pick Whitmer or Shapiro (both popular and effective Democratic governors of swing states, MI and PA respectively) as a running mate, but the nominee has to be Kamala. There is no other fucking choice. This is already enough of a mess.
If that can happen, and the fucking donors can refrain from fucking it up, then... okay. It's not great, but it does change things. It makes the ticket younger. It makes it historic (first Black female president beating Trump would be amazing). It could reach people disenchanted with the current two-old-white-guys setup.
This is an incredible sacrifice on Biden's part and I only wish that I could believe he did it voluntarily, rather than being forced out by a small class of rich people worrying about his policies getting too progressive.
I wish him only the best and I recognize this decision was taken under extreme pressure. If we then lose to Trump, I hope everyone who forced Biden out burns in hell.
I was a diehard Biden supporter not because I loved the guy personally, but because he was the only choice for preserving democracy in America. The essential stakes of the election have not changed, even if the billionaires just knifed us in the fucking back, possibly to nobody's surprise, because R or D, they are not our friends.
Kamala is the only choice. I will now have to defend her as hard as I did for Biden. She needs to beat Trump. There is nothing else to it. If you think she can't, then you need to work at helping her do that. There is already enough calamity and doom. We do not have a choice. We cannot lose sight of what is at stake here.
Kamala Harris/Whitmer and/or Shapiro and/or Buttigieg 2024.
The end.
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kdollikesthighs · 21 days ago
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Comeback of a lifetime
Fromis_9 Lee Nagyung x male reader THIS IS A REUPLOAD! Maybe you've seen this work before, maybe you haven't. It used to be uploaded on a blog called K-DGN, run by two people. That blog got destroyed, and now I run this blog by myself, posting only 100% original kdol fanfic content. word count: 5,803
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At some point you had to face reality. Your entire life revolved around playing League of Legends, watching kpop fancams, and disappointing your parents. You were already 22 years old, way older than any academy player active nowadays. Making your professional debut would be a miracle. You weren’t bad at the game, far from it, actually. You consistently hit challenger rank getting to the top 500 in all of South Korea. The only thing that eluded you was that top 100 rank, the milestone needed to get picked up by a professional team. It was never easy to make these kinds of decisions, but you vowed today was the last day you’d spend at this PC bang. Thousands of hours you spent in this place, but today would be the final one. Goodbye, comfy gaming chairs. Goodbye, on demand snack ordering. Goodbye, staying up to long past midnight grinding ELO. Goodbye, all the other regulars who you’d grown distantly attached to.
These regulars included the 16-year-old duo stack you’d been seeing come in every day for the last three years. You believed that one of them would make it pro while the other was just a stepping stone. It also included that 30-something-year-old, still grinding Starcraft 2. A grim sight of a potential future. Finally, it also included the cute girl that was around your age, who would appear and disappear again sporadically for long stretches of time. She’d always be tucked away in some corner of the establishment, wearing a variation of dark colored covering clothes, baseball caps and a black mouth mask. All you could tell about her appearance was her alluring eyes, and that she had a body that no hoodie could hide.
They were all present today, as if cosmically aware of your departure and giving you one grand goodbye. You were so deprived of normal human interaction that the delusion was almost enough to make you wipe away a tear. You normally weren’t one to focus on anything other than your game, but today you thought to yourself that since it was your last day anyways, you might as well take a risk. Today, you took place on the computer next to the cute girl you’d always admired from afar.
You couldn’t blame her for dressing the way she did, hiding herself. You go to a PC bang to focus on gaming, not to get hit on. If she dressed up, you were sure she’d have no time to focus on her matches. This was the first time you sat somewhere where you could see her screen. 
You could never confirm before today, but you had a sneaking suspicion she was also into LoL. You heard her rage about “my son of a bitch jungler”, or her “ dumbass inting support” on rare occasions. She seemed to be able to keep her calm most of the time though. Now, you could finally take a peek at her monitor and confirm it to be true.
A thought entered itself in your head that today you could finally use those skills you’d been honing all these years to impress her, and maybe you could get a fresh start on some social contact and a way out of this miserable life. Your little peak revealed her rank as well. She was currently down in the trenches of Silver 2. Not very impressive, but a good sign that you had a shot at impressing her. Hopefully.
Step 1: Log in to your LoL account. Step 2: Play a game and hope she looks over at your monitor and sees how good you are. Step 3: Have her fawn over how good you are. Okay, it wasn’t a great plan, but that's all you had the courage for today.
Uh-oh. Maybe it was better to think of a plan while you weren’t still OBVIOUSLY staring at her screen. She had noticed, her eyes slowly peeking over towards yours as you made eye contact. You could tell the tip of her nose was scrunched up like an angry cat telling you to back off. This was the first time you had a real chance to take in her eyes, and you felt like you could drown in them. They were big, round and somewhere in between cute and sexy. Enough to instantly fluster you. They felt familiar as well. Like you could swear you had seen these eyes a thousand times before. You shook it off and took the hint, finally looking away and leaving her be. You settled in to your little spot for the night and started queueing. Your games went surprisingly well. Better than usual, even. It was almost as if the universe heard you were wanting to quit, and decided to entice you to stay. You were on a roll, win after win after win. The booth next to you, well, you weren’t looking anymore, but the sounds were enough to tell. She was raging, growing more and more frustrated by the minute. Against your better judgment, you decided to sneak a fast peak over at her setup. Big mistake. Seemingly possessed with some supernatural gift, she immediately caught your eyes darting over to her, and glared at you as if to say “you’re next”. You quickly started looking back over at your own screen. She
 wasn’t however. It was impossible to ignore her staring daggers at you, peering over while slowly moving closer and peeking at your screen. You weren’t in-game yet, just sitting in queue for 12 minutes already (as you were used to for high-ELO games), but your rank was clearly on display. Did this somehow count as step 2 from your plan? “Hey, nerd.” cut through the silence, and also through your hopes of reaching part 3 of your plan. “Can you help me out here?” She continued, in a surprisingly bashful, cutesy tone. Her chair was fully turned towards yours at this point but her face was turned toward the floor, hiding behind her facemask and under her baseball cap. You expected scorn, a giant explosion in your face, but instead she was acting cute? Did your plan work? “What’s
 up?” You replied hesitantly. She responded by turning her chair towards her monitor again and pointing her hand flatly at the chat log of her currently active game.
You stood up and hovered over her shoulder as you studied what was up. The screen was gray and she was waiting to respawn. The girl was playing marksman and had a current KDA of 3/7/1. Suffice it to say it was not the greatest performance, but that wasn’t her point. “Can you believe this fucking guy?!” She berated the enemy marksman, who had spent the entire game flaming and mocking her in chat after every kill he got on her. “You want me to get revenge on him for you?” She was taken aback a little, her eyes squinting at you like you just said something insane. “What? I wanted you to tell me they’re a piece of shit and for you to compliment me so I’d feel better about myself.” Her response made you feel like you did say something stupid, but to your surprise she got up from her chair. “Right, I mean, they are a fucking piece of shit,” you responded, laying it on a little thick, “and they are lucky to even be in a game with a cutie like you.” Your response made her chuckle a couple of high pitched laughs, before taking in a big breath. “That’s more like it!” She clapped her hands, satisfied with your response. “Now sit down and get revenge for me, please?” Her hands clasped together, unifying in front of her belly button and causing her to push her bosom together. You hadn’t noticed before now, but her hoodie had zipped down slightly, allowing you to take a peek at what she was working with. You couldn’t help but glance, but what took you back the most was that when you looked back at her face, her eyes were still fixated on yours. She definitely saw you look, but she either acted like she didn’t see, or that she didn’t care that you looked. Whatever the case was, you sat down in that chair and were ready to lock in.
It took you less than one minute to bait her opponent in, completely outmaneuvering him and getting that shut down. “That was amazing! Serves him right!” The girl erupted, impressed by your display of digital dominance. This was child’s play for you though, since defeating a silver player is a given. She leaned over your left side, her chest slightly pressing into your shoulder, getting you even more worked up than you already were.
“Well, I should get back to my seat.” You relented, considering this a job well done. Getting a chance to show off your skills to a girl you could only assume was the cutest you’d ever seen in your life was a good end to your career here you thought. She disagreed. Strongly. “What? No! You can’t stop now, you have to completely destroy him!” She pleaded, clearly having bigger plans for you. “I really shouldn’t, you know, it’s against the terms of service and- ” you objected. As much as you enjoyed the praise, you really wanted to get some gaming against some good players today. “I’ll make it worth your while every time you kill them?” She rebuffed your rejection, ever so slightly provoking you by further unzipping her hoodie revealing a low cut black tee underneath. “Say less!” was all you replied, before reseating yourself back in her chair. You were locked in like a man possessed, not even noticing how you just missed the 14 minute queue pop on your own computer, destroying any chance of having a good game any time soon.
Your target came back to lane, and like clockwork, it barely took a full minute to send him back to spawn. As promised, the mystery girl delivered. She got real close to you, pressing her soft chest against you once more. Her face, this time even closer than before. So close that you could feel the warmth of her breath disperse through her facemask on your skin. Her lips were mere inches removed from your ear.
“You are so fucking good at this, oppa.. We should play together some time and I’ll let you pick me up and carry me.” Her sultry tone effortlessly seduced you, cementing the idea that you would do anything and everything that she’d ask of you. You couldn’t fight the creeping feeling that at this point it wasn’t just her eyes that felt familiar. You could have sworn you’d heard this voice before.
Another minute passes by, and you reward your lane opponent with another one way trip to the respawn fountain. You hated to admit it, but you were trying your absolute best at this point. Making calls, guiding your jungler, leading your team to objectives. If every kill meant a response from her, you had every intention of ending this game with 100 kills.
Your reward this time? She pulled your chair back a little, creating space for her to squeeze in between before planting herself in your lap. Her soft ass pressed up against your waking erection, which you hoped she either didn’t notice or at least pretended to not notice. Her hips bucked and swirled, grinding against your groin no more and no less than two times before settling in and removing any doubt of her not feeling your cock snuggled in between her thighs. Once again, no recognition or scorn was earned for it. “Can you still play like this?” her cutesy voice inquired with her pitch rising, making it impossible to complain even if you wanted to. You gave her a slight nod, finally releasing your breath and looking past the beauty fitting into your shape and refocusing on the game. You had kills to farm. She leaned forward, pressing her ass even more into you, and took control of the keyboard before typing up a storm. With a newfound confidence in your skills, she was now taunting her nemesis. You focused up, and once more scored a kill on your target. It seemed like her taunting worked, and tilted the enemy into trying to prove themselves. She did a little jump in your lap cheering you on. She twisted her upper body towards you, placing both of her hands on your shoulders before retreating one back to remove her face mask and ball cap combo in order to finally reveal herself to you. She left you no time to connect the dots, leaning down towards the left side of your face and planting a kiss on your cheek. “Keep this up, and I’ll make sure you never forget this.” As much as this excited you, the revelation of you connecting the dots on why her eyes and voice felt familiar was too grand to not remark on. The girl sitting in your lap right was none other than Lee Nagyung, the visual from one of your favorite girl groups, Fromis_9! “Holy shit you’re Nagyung!” You couldn’t help but exclaim, maybe even against your better judgment. “And you’re going right back to your own seat if you don’t quiet down!” She scowled back, her teeth exposed through her lips as she brought her finger before her mouth, shushing you. She looked around desperately to see if your little stunt had caused any complications, but it was a slow day at the PC bang. Luckily for you, nobody had seemed to hear you.
“Understood! I’m sorry, I’m just a big fan.” You continued, pleading your case. A cute smirk adorned her face, before she closed her eyes and gave you a small understanding nod. In the chaos, you had completely lost focus of the game, and only regained it once you noticed your screen going gray and the chat being filled with “Great, our Jinx is back to inting” messages. Nagyung didn’t even need to tell you to focus up as you took immediate control of the game again, guiding your team on what to do until you respawned. Laning phase had ended by this point, but it was still a Silver lobby. This meant that the laning phase usually just shifted to everyone laning in the mid lane. When your screen turned into color, you rushed mid lane where you last spotted your target, and took him down again without even a hint of trouble. This time his entire team was also there, and you knew you could take them all down. But you backed off. You pinged your team back, your reasoning being the longer this game went on, the more chances you’d have to kill your opponent.
Nagyung kept her promise, and her rewards were ever growing. She pressed B on your keyboard causing you to recall, giving you a slight moment of respite. She palmed her hands over yours, gently lifting them off of the keyboard and mouse, and brought them closer to her body. She guided your hands downwards in between the split of her hoodie and her pants, and finally underneath her t-shirt. Your hands grazed against the warm feeling of her bare skin before being allowed to land on the soft fabric of the sports bra covering her breasts. Nagyung’s grip tightened on yours, forcing you to squeeze onto her soft chest, your thick cock growing ever harder as it pushed into her thighs. She turned her head towards yours ever so slightly, puffing up a moan into your ears.
You could feel your hands melt away into her bosom, but crossing this threshold had unlocked something within you. Her hands start to move yours as if to say your time is up, but you didn’t want to stop before you had had your fun. Your fingertips circled around, making her nipples just that slightest bit harder allowing you to place both between your index and thumb, and pinched them eliciting another much more genuine moan from the girl playing with you. Her hips buckled into you, almost as if she had started grinding on you before you agreed to take your hands away and refocused on earning those rewards.
Sure enough, like a gift on a silver platter, your target showed up once more. Another free kill for you, but this time not without you also taking their tier one mid lane turret. You felt like you’d have to start considering when and where you killed him, or this game might end sooner than you’d like. This time, Nagyung shifted her balance in your lap. She turned her back towards your right side, her entire frame pointing to your left and towards the wall her PC booth was up against. She hooked her left arm around your neck with her entire body being supported by your frame as she hung her legs off of the left side of the chair’s armrest. Her body was now slightly further away from yours. You almost felt like this was becoming a punishment. That was until she started using her hand. Her right hand crossed her body and found its way onto your bulge peeking through your pants. This left no doubt whatsoever that she had felt you pressing into her multiple times, but her soft, dainty little hand caressing the silhouette of your dick left you without complaint. She was applying tender pressure downwards onto your member, her hand shifting around the contours of what she could discern off your cock, gliding up and down as if to tease you. “Get more kills” was the message. She finished teasing you, then made a small request. “Don’t let me fall.” sounded the command, placing both your hands around her thin waist. A little surprise but you did as you were told, focusing your strength now on holding her upright. She took over the controls once more, placing herself in safety before going right back to flaming her adversary. As soon as she was done, she hooked her arm back around you and relinquished control back over to you. “Now kick his ass for me, oppa!” She instructed you, your confidence boosted and your desire to fulfill her request causing you to smirk. She looked back at your face, a little impressed with how serious you were taking this. You were following along with the chat logs, and despite being a Silver 2 in the game, when it came to flaming others she was at least Diamond. Your hands were back on the keyboard, and to your surprise her hand was back on your groin. It was a little harder to perform like this, but she monitored your performance, and judged it still good enough to allow her to have her fun. She started making a little competition out of it, speeding up and slowing down depending on how focused you had to be in the game. You almost began to believe she wanted you to fail, and the smiles she gave you after hearing your moans were enough to solidify that thought.
No problem, you knew you could win against these players with one hand tied behind your back. Sure enough, enemy number one showed up, and met another quick end. You barely escaped death this time however, partially because of Nagyung’s incessant teasing. Your performance earned yourself another reward, one she was more than eager to give to you. Her hands retreated back to herself, and you needed no hint to help her hold her body upright. Nagyung’s hands floated around the base of her hoodie, goading you with how slow she moved. Her fingers twirled around the zipper, softly clasping the metal tab before splitting the two sides apart. Her hands started to lift her shirt from the bottom towards her neck. From behind, nothing had changed. Her hoodie covered everything everyone else in the PC bang could see, but to you, you were now presented with an unimpeded sight of her tits, only covered by a sports bra. She wasn’t done. She did the same with her bra, resting all the fabric right under her neckline exposing her breast to you before pushing them together for your viewing pleasure. They weren’t the biggest tits, but they looked so inviting to bury your face into. As if able to read your mind, Nagyung raised her eyebrow, cocking her head downwards before making you an offer. “You know you can kiss them if you want, oppa. But only if you don’t die.” You were almost surprised. You expected yourself to be more hesitant, but with the way her voice and demeanor lured you in, no resistance was possible. Your face drew closer to her chest, and you posited your lips around one of her nipples. You suckled on it for a couple of seconds, before clasping her pink flesh between your teeth, ever so slight applying pressure. Her moans were like honey to you. Addicting. You couldn’t get enough. As good as your situation had quickly become, you knew you had more kills to farm, so you opened your eyes and looked back towards your screen. Close enough, as you just barely managed to prevent a death. She purred into your ear, proud of you being able to pull back and survive danger once more. You used this opportunity to bait her rival into your team, securing another free and easy kill. This was almost too easy for someone like you, but you weren’t about to back down now. Not a great call. Your team managed to get Baron off of that. This meant the game could be ended at any moment. The reward however? Absolutely worth it. As soon as you secured Baron, Nagyung took over the keyboard again and typed up a storm, really getting under her foe's skin. “Go back to base, I want you to look at me for this next part, oppa.” She whispered into your ear. Her flawless face pulled back while she stared into your eyes, her eyebrows merging in the center of her forehead, pleading with you for what she had in store for you. You licked your lips, instinctively feeling what was about to come before she leaned into you, your lips merging as she kissed you. You felt her tongue prod temporarily into your mouth before you felt her retreating, leaving you breathless as you took in the sight of her biting her bottom lip.
She placed both her hands on the chair's armrests, moving her entire body away from you before climbing under the desk. She rolled your chair a little closer to her, pulling your legs forward off of the chair. Her hands towards the hem of your pants, undoing your button and pulling down your zipper. Her hands moved forward once more, now making their way to the space in between your underwear and your skin before she pulled them down slightly, exposing your cock. You could feel her fingertips graze against the tip of your cock as she slowly tightened her grip around your girth, pulling it out of your underwear. “Look at the fucking size of you
” she cooed. Your cock was hidden beneath the cover of the desk, but Nagyung wasted no time. With her hand already firmly around the base of your dick, she took one final look into your eyes, as wide as you’d ever seen them, like prey caught in a trap, unsure of whether or not they’d survive. You had never been harder in your life. You had no attention left for the game. The only thing in the world that mattered to you right now was burning the image of Nagyung sizing up your cock into your memory. With her bare chest pressed against your knees, she planted the softest kiss against the underside of your cock’s tip. Her tongue extended from in between her lips, tilting her head sideways as she traced the entire length of your shaft. The length of you caused her to have to use her hands to push her body upwards to reach maximum height before reaching your base again. “Oh fuck,” you can’t help but let escape from your soul as she maintained proper eye contact with you. Her wet tongue dragged a trail of spit all along of your cock, the only thing connecting you being that same strand of spit once she pulled back. Her eyes steeled with her resolve, as if to tell herself that she can do this.
Your hips buck as your tip gets engulfed by her warm and inviting mouth, your breaths becoming ragged and irregular as she pulls you in deeper, testing her own limits against your dick. She hesitates for a second, not breaking eye contact once. She had taken a little over half of your dick in her mouth before her eyes began pleading with you, begging as if her actions weren't far enough, but you had been passive enough today. “All the way, babygirl.” You growled back, taking command for the first time today. As if under a magic spell, her eyes rolled back and she pushed past her limit. You could feel the barrier of her throat break as the rest of your length slid effortlessly down her throat. She held it there for a few seconds before releasing you back into the cold room temperature with a loud pop. You cupped her face in your hands, cherishing her like the beautiful, erotic flower she was. It didn’t last long before she took your hands off of her face, wiped the back of her hand on her chin removing any saliva, and gave you a satisfied smile. “Back to the game. I’ll only continue while you play.” Her terms were clear, but before your hands were back on the keyboard and mouse, she added one final clause.
“And if you win the game, I’ll let you cum in my mouth.” She teasingly added, sending you over the edge, your cock throbbing in her hands as a little precum dripped out to her promise. “Looks like this guy agrees.” She chuckled, before locking your tip inside of her mouth.
She stayed like that for a while to see if you would accept her terms, but once she could hear the sounds of the keys of your keyboard clacking, she knew your answer. She began swirling her tongue around your head, sucking all the precum out of you and drooling it back onto you. This went on for a couple of minutes, with her switching her technique to pressing whatever length of you she had in her mouth against the inside of her cheek and popping it fully out of her mouth, running the edge of her lips over your entire length before taking you back in.
Her hands grabbed your thighs firmly as gasps and moans escaped your mouth, each one causing Nagyung to increase her intensity. Every time you killed her archnemesis, you reported it right away. She took your word for it at this point, and rewarded you all the same.
Her hand grazed your thigh with her fingernails with the slightest of touches before resting itself around your balls. She then began to slowly massage your sack while she continued to fuck her own throat with your cock, going deeper and deeper by the minute. The occasional glance down at her made it hard for you to even want to look at the game, her doe-like eyes so intent on making you feel amazing. Her shirt fabric was still rumpled up against her neck, giving you a slight view of her meticulous tits. Her mascara began to run thanks to the tears forming each time she pushed further. There was a rhythm to her head bobbing up and down your shaft, and it was intoxicating enough to drown in. The feeling of this naughty goddess servicing you while your attention is forced to perform in the game you’d been grinding for years meant that your focus was impossible to maintain. It was overwhelming, enough to make you feel like you’d pass out. Each glide caused an entirely new wave of ecstasy to encompass your being. It was a miracle you managed to still function in the game, consistently scoring kills to keep her rewards coming. The sounds of her gags, stifled coughs and wet slurps as she did her best to ruin your focus were too good to miss as you kept your headset off for the last part of the game. Despite this extra handicap, you still managed to destroy her antagonist once more. From this point on, you felt like you had earned it. She released from her mouth, took a deep breath, and dived right back in. In an instant, the entire length of your dick disappeared into the back of her mouth. You could hear her gag as she struggled to maintain this and in an effort to help, you moved your hips backwards to give her some space. Her hands dug into the back of your hips however, pushing you forward. This was what she wanted, and you had no right pulling out of her mouth. “Nnnghh, fuck!” Her eyes were all she had to talk to you with, but they smirked. She could do this, and you were more than happy to oblige. You even pushed forward a little, a surprised stifled yelp escaping from beneath the desk below you.
Nagyung was fucking herself senseless on your cock, and there was nothing slow about it. A soft, wet slopping sound caught your attention, as you peeked to catch a glimpse of how she had started fingering herself, her mouth still impaled on your cock.
“Nagyung, I’m about to..” you began to moan out, before she released you from her warm insides, reprimanding you. “No, not until you win! And call me babygirl
” Her eyes now failing to meet yours. “Since I don’t want anyone to find out my identity.” She almost whispered, but you understood. “I know, I’m about to win!” You clarified, her eyes widening in surprise as she peeked out from under the desk to confirm. Sure enough, you were sieging the base, and your, or rather, her win was imminent. “Oh fuck, okay, wait just a second!” She replied in a rushed panic, pulling her upper body above the desk enough so that she could lay into her opponent one final time. It was no lie that you wanted to say you were about to win, but you also were about to cum as well. Her sudden pause did put a little halt to that. “I believe you owe me cumming down your throat, babygirl.” You remarked as you directed her back to her task. Like a content little kitty, she purred and climbed back under the desk. Your full focus was now on her and she knew it. She used the opportunity to prime you some more. She pointed both her index fingers at her mouth. “Right here, oppa. This is where you have to cum, okay?” Her mouth was now fully open now as she melodies out a soft “aaaa” with her tongue hanging out of her mouth. The sight was enough to bring you right back to the edge of almost cumming. For the final stretch, she employed one last tactic. She placed both her hands palm upwards on your thighs, inviting you to put your hands on hers. She smiled as you did so, taking both your hands and placing them on the back of her head. “Now fuck my face, okay?” The lewd request made with the cutest tone imaginable was all it took. You forced her head down on your cock, pushing her all the way to the base before pulling her back and pushing her down again. You were fucking her face relentlessly, her mouth accepting you as her eyes looked at you as if she were obsessed with what you were doing. It took no more than a minute of this before you felt it finally happening. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum, babygirl!” You groaned, signaling the end. You pushed her head all the way down, holding her there for the final relief. The first shot erupted out of you, blasting into the back of her throat. String after string filled up her mouth, each dose accompanied by a grunt from her asking you if this was the last. The viscous sensation of your cum mixing with her saliva was enveloping you. As much as you wanted to sink into your chair, close your eyes and focus on the feeling, you could not tear your eyes away from the idol struggling to keep all of your load combined with your cock in her mouth. She was unsuccessful however, as droplets began to eek out of the corners of her mouth.
You finally let her off of your dick, but instead of gasping for air or getting mad at you, you were treated to another show. She opened her mouth much the same way she did before you fucked it mercilessly, showing you all of your seed she had accumulated in her mouth. You couldn’t help but bite your lip at the sight. Nagyung closed her mouth and swallowed it all in one go. Another open mouth, another “aaaa”, and her promise was fulfilled. She took the liberty to lick whatever she couldn’t keep clean off of you, before giving you a smile for a job well done. “That was fucking amazing.” You sheepishly commented, to which she gave a cute little chuckle, the corner of her mouth turning upwards. “Hehe, I know.” She winked back at you. She climbed out from under the desk, tucking your now half flaccid dick back into your pants, before taking her rightful place back in your lap. Truth be told, you expected her to have sent you back to where you came from by now. Instead, she took your hand one last time for today and guided it in between her thighs, underneath her pants. You could feel how warm and wet she was from playing with herself, your half-mast flying back to full force in response. “I’ll bring a blanket next time so you can fuck me while I’m on your lap. Sounds good, oppa?” She playfully suggested, her aegyo overloading your senses. “I’ll see you tomorrow for some more help! I want to tell Chaeyoung I got into gold before her!” It was never easy making these kinds of decisions, but today wasn’t going to be your last day at this PC bang after all.
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ofpd · 1 month ago
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1st century roman siege of jerusalem dashboard simulator
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🐼 barkamtza
why does this shit always happen to me
#oh my goddd the ONE time it seems like people actually wanna hang out with me. #turns out they meant to invite kamtza instead #everyone hates me and i was SO fucking nice i offered to pay for the party #god i'm so pathetic. kms kms kms #they're gonna pay for this i swear #delete later
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📜 zekharya-ben-avkolas
Ok so obv it's not ok to sacrifice a blemished calf but the blemish is just on the eyelid? So maybe it's ok? But also and i don't want people to start going around thinking that it's ok to sacrifice blemished animals. But the thing is that if i don't bar Kamtza will tell the Romans we insulted them and that will be bad probably. And like no one likes bar Kamtza anyway will people really miss him..... but ugh neither of these seem like good things to do i don't feel like it's my place to make a decision about this :/
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🏛 vespasian reblogged
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đŸșneronero
off to war wish me luck! đŸ‡ČđŸ‡ȘđŸč
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đŸșneronero
nvm guys. âœĄïžâœĄïž
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🏛 vespasian
my turn lol
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đŸ§‘đŸœâ€đŸŠł not-an-airport reblogged
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đŸ§‘đŸœâ€đŸŠł not-an-airport
Hey everyone! These are difficult times, and some friends and I have put together some mutual aid resources for our community to have access to wheat, barley, wine, salt, oil, and wood! More info below the cut. Take care of yourselves! đŸ«¶
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đŸ§‘đŸœâ€đŸŠł not-an-airport
fuck
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⚔ biryonei-yerushalayim
anonymous asked:
Hey, I'm trying to ask this in good faith, and I hope you can take it that way. how can you possibly defend burning our grain stores. I understand that you want to radicalize more people but you're taking things too far. Jerusalem's blood is on your hands.
anon, what you need to understand is that the blame for the carnage in jerusalem lies primarily in the hands of the roman invaders and secondarily in the hands of the rabbis for refusing to resist. would you have told the hashmonaim not to resist their oppressors by any means necessary? just because this is getting inconvenient for you doesn't mean we shouldn't be doing it. it's frankly offensive that you'd imply that we, the defenders of jerusalem, should incur any blame for her current state.
#biryonim.answer #grain storage discourse
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🛡 goel-yisrael
did anyone else see the "zealot blocklist" going around lmaooo
#how do these liberals expect anyone to take them seriously #do they not have anything better to do.
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📚 stammaim reblogged
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stopbeingpoor-deactivated3830102
ughh why is my servant so incompetent! i deserve the best flour why doesn't he get it...
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stopbeingpoor
ykw i'll go get some myself. i'm desperate at this point i gotta do something
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stopbeingpoor
EWWWW update: i stepped in something NASTY. this is why i don't fucking go out oh my god im gonna die
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stopbeingpoor
gonna throw my gold & silver away for the good of the peasants or whatever it's not like it's any use to me when im literally dying -_-
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📚 stammaim
lmao look at this it's exactly what yehezkel was talking about! ur gold won't save you!
#yehezkel #marta b. baitos
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🕎 yalla-hapoel
🌿 amicus-iudaeorum asked:
Hey, love your posts! They're very informative about the Jewish perspective on this war. I'm just wondering whether you condemn the actions of the zealots? I don't really feel comfortable following someone who supports that.
are you fr.
#if youre seriously concerned about this idt this is the blog for you i fear
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🛡 goel-yisrael reblogged
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📖 ben-zakkai
⚰⚰⚰⚰ lol
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🛡 goel-yisrael
? what does this mean
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🗡 abbasikkara
dw about it bestie
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🛡 goel-yisrael
ok 💗 yay 💗
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đŸ‘©đŸœâ€đŸŒŸ discoursedumpblog
I've compiled a list of some of the most rabid zealots on this website. Remember, don't engage, just block and move on.
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🏛 vespasian reblogged
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🏛 vespasian
some jew got an audience with me & called me king (im literally not lol thats so disrespectful to the actual king + if i was king then he shouldve met w me much earlier??), i think i should kill him
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🏛 vespasian
AND my shoe is being so annoying. horrible day 👎
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📖 ben-zakkai
omg just came across this old post
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🏛 vespasian
OMG sorry i don't mean it anymore 🙏
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đŸ«’ a-simple-yid
yirmiyahu tzadak...
#not to pretentiously quote tanakh but literally like. #hashiveinu hashem eilekha venashuva hadeish yameinu kekedem.
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myfictionaldreams · 8 months ago
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Light in the Darkness // Feyre/Rhysand x Fem!Reader
Summary: It wasn't just Rhys who had been caught in Amrantha's damnatation. For nearly 50 years, you'd suffered with him, in her bed. After years of enduring agony, it becomes almost impossible to resist seeking refuge in the platonic refuge of your High Lord and High Lady. However, after one night of drunken indulgence, you're left wondering if everything you've built to protect yourself is now shattered.
Requested by: ~ â˜ș -- thank you so so much for all your support and the request! I absolutely loved writing more acotar/sjm!
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, past rape/non-con elements, trauma, PTSD, nightmares, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, friends to lovers, friends with benefits, flirting, kissing, drinking, threesome (f/f/m), sex, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, anxiety, happy ending
Words: 9.4k (lol oops)
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Some aspects of life can be predicted. Happiness, sadness, heartbreak, grief. Death. Every ounce of blessings that had graced your life had repercussions and hardships, something that was always centred around the balance of the world. With good comes the bad.
Years upon years had been filled with joy, laughter, and safety with your friends and family. Naturally, being drawn into the inner circle of the Night Court would bring its hardships, but it would be nothing that your friends or your family could get you out of. From outsiders, you were ranked low within the group, not even having a title to the job you provided; however, you often liked to refer to yourself as Rhysand's conscience.
Where Amren would help make significant decisions for the Night Court as the second in command, you'd be there to offer further guidance daily. Every meeting, every decision, every single day, you would be at Rhysand's side, making sure he didn't make brash decisions and, furthermore, protecting his sanity when, on some days, the weight of the world pressed down on him.
Not only did you save Rhys with your words, but as a high fae, you were blessed by the Cauldron with healing and body manipulation powers. The healing was self-explanatory as to why it could help; there were times you'd been able to bring a soul back, even from the point of death. However, such as life, with life comes pain. A power you used so infrequently due to the distress that you'd often forgotten that it was something you could do. Only on a handful of occasions have you needed to use it against an enemy they begged for death in seconds. It was a strain on your mental health to use this, and with Rhys having his own powers, along with his shadowsinger, there weren't many reasons for you to even be needed for this.
Rhysand would never expect or ask you to use this power, increasing your adoration for him tenfold. To say the two of you were close was a complete understatement. When you both live and breathe the same day-to-day life, the form of friendship is bound to shift into something more. Rhys made you feel safe; the scent of night and Jasmine that accompanied him always wrapped around you like a warm hug.
There was no one you trusted more than him, and when the two of you stumbled into bed years ago, it only helped you discover more of yourself, especially with your powers. Pleasure. You could bestow pleasure onto a person with a single thought. Have their knees wobbling, eyes glazing over and back arching as they orgasmed in a single second. It made your nights with the High Lord all the more entertaining.
Even with the closeness the two of you shared, there was still the label of friendship. You loved Rhysand, and he loved you, but the two of you were still keeping back, aware of the possibilities of mates, and until any bond arrived, the friendship would continue with the thrill of pleasure.
As your role to be by his side continued, this was the unfortunate or devastating mistake of how you were in attendance at the ball that Amarantha had created. All it took was a gathering of high lords and a drink of the magically spiked wine, and the world of Pyrthian would be forever changed. The magic within the High Lords was leashed, and no one was safe from the wrath of the Red-Haired Devil.
You could have driven yourself mad with hindsight, regretting not listening to your gut feeling of not trusting Amarantha. Only the knowledge of being able to keep the rest of your family and friends safe in Velaris was the only blessing, even if it meant a life of agony for 50 years.
Amarantha, in all of her cruel ways, personally picked the High Lord of the Night Court with her need for revenge for Rhys' father, killing her closest ally - Tamlin's father. Rhys had always had a formal villainous reputation amongst the other courts, but now, this is further shadowed by the different courts as Amarantha uses him. To hurt others, break them in a split second, and furthermore, keep him leashed to her bed. He was simply her whore and nothing more to the others throughout Pyrthian. This mighty High  Lord, probably the most powerful High Lord there had ever been, had been degraded and dehumanised to nothing.
Nevertheless, where Rhysand stayed, you were by his side.
Rhysand had protected Velaris, the rest of his friends and family that remained at home, keeping them locked away from Amarantha using his Daemati skills, but could not save them.
The first few weeks of the new reign of the Red Devil, you'd been chained in a cell with only darkness and the drip of the waters running down the walls to keep you company. You'd even convinced yourself she had forgotten about you, willing to let you rot away. However, you were forced to kneel before her, and Rhys stood by her side.
There was never a second where you'd blame Rhys for what happened. In fact, over the 50 years, he had saved you in more ways than you could ever repay him for.
You were forced by Amarantha to admit why Rhys kept you so close by. The healing, the pain, the pleasure. Everything spilt from your lips with a single snap of her fingers. Rhysand was her whore, and you were downgraded to being her Harlot, except there was no exchange between sex and money, only sex and not being killed.
Rhy was forced to control minds and occasionally cause pain before death. You were just there to deal unimaginable pain until death, and then both crawl into Amaranthas bed and pleasure her until she promptly sleeps, wakes and starts the process again.
As the years trailed by, the only sight that would keep you going was the flickerings of stars that would light in the depths of Rhysand's eyes when the two of you were briefly alone for mere seconds.
Amarantha kept a tight leash on the two of you. When in her bedroom, you and Rhys were never allowed to touch, and most frequently, you were forced to kneel next to the bed and watch or tie to the bed with the Red Devil straddling your waist with Rhys pleasuring her from behind. You would watch and watch, and then her fingers would snap, and you were forced to make her orgasm, over and over, even with Rhys having spent hours pleasuring her.
These moments were where Rhys would provide support. Even though your eyes had to remain on Amarantha, Rhys would slip through your mental shiels and make you feel numb whilst remaining mentally close so that you didn't feel alone. Often, you would wake without any recollection of the previous night's antics, all thanks to your High Lord, and you wished and begged to the Cauldron that one day you could repay him for keeping you from slipping into the depressive pit that you would never be able to return from.
Then, at the risk of his life, Rhys admitted to having dreams. 47 years, the two of you had been trapped, and he'd been lost to the Red Devil, but hope came to him with glimpses of a woman's life. Hope. It had to be hope, and even though you could only see foggy images that Rhys would share of this person, the two of you would hope that this was a sign of someone who was bringing salvation.
Nearly 50 years had passed, and Rhysand finally admitted to meeting her whilst visiting the Spring Court, falling for the callings coming his way to draw him closer to her. Nothing came as easy as an overnight saviour, but at least you had a name. Feyre. Sweet Feyre. A human girl who had nearly stolen Tamlin's heart arrived under the mountain to declare her love for him and stand up to the Red Devil.
So young and yet defiant. Despite the pain, the torture and helplessness, she never back down. Something in your heart called to her. Maybe it wasn't right to put so much pressure on her to save Pyrthian, but even if it meant you had to take your last breath, you would try anything within your power to save this woman.
Superficial wounds you couldn't heal, but the pain you were quick to vanish as she was kept in her cell between the trials. Moreover, you were more than aware that Rhys was doing just as much to keep her from losing her sanity by having her close to his side, forgetting the world as she drank faerie wine.
The fateful day came, and so many events spiralled into utter chaos. After the final trial, Feyre figures out the riddle but still dies in Amaranthas's hand. Tamlin finally finds courage and slaughters the Red Devil and the High Lords, gathering to bring Feyre back to life as High Fae.
Freedom was unforgettable, and leaving the depths of Under the Mountain was something you'd only dreamed of, but there was now the weight of Rhys' mating bond snapping into place that had the next chapter in your lives beginning.
There was no time to be happy for your High Lord as the King of Hybern began his war whilst simultaneously trying to prove to Feyre that she was safe within the Night Court and away from Tamlin and that you were thanking Rhys and Mor for stealing her from the dreadful place.
Years continue to fly by. Wars, fights, numerous deaths, including Rhys for a moment and finally, FINALLY, the Night court could be at rest and for once indeed be happy with their High Lord and Lady protecting the lands with the inner circle close by.
Having been in turmoil for so long, adjusting to returning home, being surrounded by friends, and trying to remember what it was like to be genuinely safe was more difficult than anticipated.
It was almost like having to try and learn how to live again. What hobbies would truly distract you? What job could you do from day to day as it wasn't necessarily for you to be on Rhysands' side now with Feyre there to aid in the decision-making? There was also the destruction of having survivor guilt and horrific nightmares that had you afraid of the sun slipping behind the mountains every day and night, replacing the light. No amount of talking, counselling or breathing exercises could remind you that Amarantha was truly dead and that everything was fine.
This was how you began to depend on your High Lord and Lady.  Both of whom were closer to you than it seemed to be anyone else. Most days would be spent around either of them, whether to help with court business or simply sitting next to them as they continued their lives.
You had realised long ago that you were mostly in love with Rhys and Feyre and depended on them more than others. They never made you feel guilty for this. Neither seemed to mind and often would seek you out if you were starting to feel guilty and keep them safe; they needed comfort and support just as much as you did.
The damage and trauma from Under the Mountain also fleeted from just your mind. You couldn't train with any of the others; even the slightest touch against your skin would trigger red nightmares. You were unsure if it was the saviour complex you'd built around Feyre or Rhys, but you'd only allow them through your hard outer shell.
"Come back to me. Come back to Velaris. You're safe; I'm here; take a deep breath with me" Feyre's soothing voice drifted through your tense consciousness as she blew out a long breath so you could hear the steadiness of her slow breaths. The sweetness of her scent, lilac and pear, then licked through the wind across the skin of your cheek as she knelt in front of you, grasping your hand firmly and helping to ground you.
Your eyelids fluttered first, testing the movements as your mind and body began to return from the horrors within. The rich blueness of Feyre's concerned eyes is what you forced on first, then the rise and fall of her chest as you attempted to copy the movements. It was the first draw of breath that you realised just how long you'd been holding your breath as your lungs burned and your head spun.
The air of Velaris tasted sweet, or maybe it was the lingering taste of Feyre in the air as the ache in the centre of your chest eased and you became more present. The trembling throughout your body continued, no matter how many times Fey's thumb brushed against the back of your hand.
"You're always safe here, with me. It's just us together. Look outside; the sun is still shining, and there's no darkness here". Feyre continued to gently soothe you with her elegant voice.
You'd always found it so ironic that a place called the Night Court, the power to bring forth shadows and darkness from its High Lady and Lord, was actually the brightest and most beautiful home. Free. Unlike how it was Under the Mountain.
Tension struck your spine as your thoughts drifted back to the nightmarish place. Feyre's grip on your hand loosened as she shifted closer to cup both hands around your face, forcing your eyes on her again.
"Don't go back there, stay with me. Talk to me, I want to hear your pretty voice, Honey". It was both the use of her nickname for you and the warmth of her fingers on your face that brought you back from the dizzying nightmares.
Opening your mouth to follow your instructions, you were unsure what to say at first, worried that all that would dribble out would be frightened whimpers, but then a little fleck of something at the corner of Feyre's eyelid caught your eye as your fingers hovered above the area.
"You have a freckle right here that I've never noticed before", you say in a whisper before clearing your voice and smiling at your High Lady.
Feyre matches your grin, showing her teeth whilst doing so and tilting her face so that you're not cupping her face just as she was yours. "Do I? I've never noticed before. Guess I'll have to add it to my portraits".
Your index finger stroked over the freckle as your thoughts spoke before you could probably think as you admitted, "It's beautiful". Usually, only her mate caused the pinkness to blush across her cheeks as she tried to duck and hide her face, the golden hair half drawn into a ponytail now curtaining her away.
Instinctively, you brushed the offending pieces behind her pointed ears, giving you a clearer view of the beauty of Feyre Archeron-Moonbeam. As her sky-stained eyes flicked back up to yours, she coyly softened her smile. And you're a big old flirt; she uses her daemati skills as her lips remain still so that only you can hear.
Only for you, my High Lady, you respond similarly. However, the flirtatious talk was then interrupted by a third, more silky, deep voice joined as the scent of Jasmine and the crispness of night wrapped around you in a warm hug.
I object. I, too, think you're a big old flirt to me, too. It could be my handsome good looks and effortless charm. The intense eye contact with Feyre snapped as you both turned toward the doorway where Rhys now casually leaned against the doorframe, his hands in the pockets of his black trousers and not a single hair out of place. The hypnotic violet eyes wandered over Feyre's form first before doing the same with you before the tension eased in his shoulders.
Scoffing as you and Feyre stood, releasing each other's faces and turning towards him entirely, you spoke the following words aloud. "Excuse me, Almighty High Lord. I think you'll find that you're older than me and a much bigger flirt".
Feyre laughs as she naturally falls into his side, their arms wrapping around each other's waists and his lips dipping to kiss her tenderly across the forehead before focusing his attention on you with a wicked grin.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Love. I only flirt with my darling Feyre". His mate gently slaps a hand against his chest. As you all know, that was one of the biggest lies to slip from his lips. Rhys simply grabs her tattoo-covered hand and kisses the knuckles before venturing further into the room, only stopping when toe-to-toe with you.
Your neck ached as you stared up at him, admiring the twinkle of stars in his eyes as he asked, Do you want to talk about it?
You knew he was referring to your momentary lapse in consciousness moments ago. Losing the courage to maintain eye contact, you look across Velaris, noticing how the sun reflected and sparkled against the water flowing in the Sidra.
Suddenly having no energy, your shoulder shrugs nonchalantly, even though you knew the man before you could read you better than any other. "Not really".
Warm, calloused fingers grip your chin, turning your face back towards Rhys as you find that Feyre is now by your side, her fingers interlocking with yours, both touching you, the only two to have done so since being Under the Mountain, even if they were innocent touches.
"You can always come to us, day or night. You know that, right? Just call out for us, and we will come", Rhys reassures carefully, his eyebrows drawn together with concern.
Glancing between the mated pair, you try to ignore the burning behind your eyes from the threatening tears as you squeeze the hand holding yours and smile up at Rhys. "What would I ever do without my favourite High Lady and Lord".
Rhys grins down at you, keeping his hold on your chin as he leans down to kiss your cheek, remaining there for a second longer than socially acceptable as you suck in a quick breath as Feyre copies the kiss on the opposite cheek. The two of them move away at the same time as you struggle to control your pounding heart and ignore the desperate throb that warmed your core from being between them both.
It was always like this with the three of you. The longing touches by both of them. The ones that would fuel the dreams would leave you feeling regret for thinking of your friends in such a way, even if it distracted you from your dark thoughts. 
To everyone else, it seemed that you were all close. Still, when the three of you were alone, something constantly shifted, and as much as you tried to remember they were mates and nothing further would ever happen, the lasting effects of the increased pulse and arousal remained. Even though you would never act on these feelings, they made you feel alive and safe.
You noticed it then, the shadows that creep into their eyes as their nostrils flare, smelling your dampening arousal. Like always, you take a step back and try to regain control over your actions, masking your emotions with humour.
"You two are naughty. Do you often kiss your friends like that".
Feyre's giggle only adds to your body's reaction as she links her arm through yours and shrugs her shoulder, "I don't know what you're referring to. We were just being supportive", her tone was laced with sarcasm.
Rolling your eyes, your arm taps the arm holding yours, "Of course you were". Leaning into her side, the two of you glance up at Rhysand, who is silently watching the interactions. Eventually, his eyes flicked to Feyres, who tilted her head with a knowing smile. Looking between the two, you sigh dramatically, "I hate when you both talk like that. It's like you're showing off that you can speak mind to mind. Some would call it rude to talk like that without including your company".
Rhys finally smirks as you notice the sweet and seedy tang that now invaded your scents, mixing with the smell of your arousal quickly; you take a step back from them, assuming they're both flirting mind to mind as you can now smell how horny they both were.
"Alright, well, now I know what you're both thinking. I'm going to take that as my opportunity to leave, " you explain whilst walking towards the exit like you usually did when the mated pair became obsessed with the other in similar situations. However, a shadow wraps around your wrist and halts your movements, so you must turn back and watch as Rhys' arm secures Feyre's shoulder.
"How do you know what we are thinking about?" Rhys asks casually.
Once more, you roll your eyes in exasperation, "because I can smell it, and you are both anything but subtle".
"Hmm", he contemplates for a second. "And what exactly do you think we're dreaming about?"
Your tongue suddenly lay heavy in your mouth as you look confused between them both, noting that Feyre's cheeks are once more flushed with embarrassment, or was it arousal?
"Is this a fun game for you both? I'm not sure I'm interested in guessing what you two do behind closed doors". A lie, but they don't need to know this as those thoughts had been fueling your quiet nights between your sheets.
The High Lord and Lady's eyes both lower to watch as your thighs squeeze together to ease the worsening ache there, not realising how noticeable your movements had been as you cough to recapture their attention back to your face.
"Maybe I should have phrased my question differently", Rhys begins to say as he licks his lips. "Who exactly do you think we are dreaming about?"
Your frown deepens with the confusion that only seems to worsen with each word Rhys says. Feyre takes control of the conversation as she steps forward and out of Rhys' hold until she is in front of you, looking like the beautiful High Lady that she is. Her shoulders rolled back, her head held high, and the confidence only added to the pulsing and fire between your legs.
Carefully, you watch every single flicker of emotion and movement from Feyre. From the way her lips part to take in a deep breath, the subtle hardening of her nipples beneath the thin blue shirt she wore, to the way her pupils expand to match the sweet scent in the air. "I, for one, was not and am not thinking of Rhysand", she speaks in a lower undertone than usual, not flinching from your unending stare.
It was your turn to open your mouth, licking the dryness while attempting to think of some kind of response, but it seemed that your mind was void of all conventional thoughts. So much so that the arrival of Morrigan as she winnowed into the room had the three of you flinching and jumping to face the new arrival.
The tall blonde's nose wrinkled as she glanced between her cousin and his mate, "By the Cauldron, will you two leave the poor girl alone with your nasty thoughts? It smells like a Pleasure house in here", Mor claims as she flicks her luscious hair over her shoulder.
You take a step back, thankful that Mor only thought the thick smell was from Feyre and Rhys and not you as well.
"Morrigan, a pleasure as always, dear cousin", Rhys drawls as he casually picks off some invisible lint from his shoulder. This sight has you smiling, knowing he was covering his discomfort with the movement.
Mor flicked her gaze over Rhys before dressing each of you with enthusiasm, clasping her hands together, "So tonight I've convinced the others to come to Ritas, and I need you three to also join to have the complete team there".
"I'll be there, " you say quickly, deciding you need something more substantial to drink after this conversation.
"Us too", Feyre answered as she glanced over her shoulder towards you with a not-so-subtle wink.
Hours later, after the sun had set and your anxiety had risen for a moment, you were now encompassed in the inhibitions of the alcohol humming through your veins. Ritas was as busy as always, and being surrounded by friends, good music and even better drinks, you were very much in your element of happiness.
Despite your friends being gathered around the table you always resided at or in the centre of the dancefloor, you were happy in your little corner of heaven in Ritas, where you could sway on the spot without worrying about feeling strangers' bodies knocking into yours.
The conversation continued to play over in your mind as you felt the coolness of the sweat dripping down the middle of your spine. As much as you love Mor, you could have cursed her to prison for interrupting before discovering who Feyre and Rhys were referring to because even though your heart screamed that it was about you, your mind tried to convince you otherwise. There was no way that your mated friends were turned on by you.
You're drawn away from your thoughts as a slender arm slides around your neck, and the sweet smell of Feyre wraps around you, replacing the salty sweat from the room. Her grin matches yours as she tips her head back, swaying her hips in time with yours as your fingers clasp to the thin material of her peach dress around her waist, pulling her closer.
From the way she laughed, you knew she was just as drunk as you but nevertheless still as beautiful as ever, even with the way her golden hair stuck to her face with the sweat and the glassy sheen over her eyes. You were happy to see her letting go and fully relaxing; she deserved it more than most.
You weren't sure which of you tightened your hold of the other, but now your faces are pressed together, her lips hovering next to your ear so that you could hear her say, "We didn't finish the conversation earlier".
Your feet somehow become tangled with hers as you both lose your footing, but a steady hand from behind keeps you both upright as Rhys' chest presses against your back. One of his hands remains on your waist, his thumb brushing in a circle, and the other reaches around your side to grip Feyre, pulling her even closer against your chest until your breasts are squished against hers.
"Wh-What conversation?" you pretend to forget, the rest of Ritas drowning away in the background.
"Don't play coy with us; I can smell your arousal already", Rhys growls into your other ear. You forget to breathe momentarily, so Rhys's tone calms, "Easy, breathe for us, it's ok. This will always remain a safe space". You appreciated his comfort, but for a moment, all you could think about was the way his lips caressed the shell of your ear.
I think you're beautiful, Honey. Feyre speaks dreamily mind to mind as she pulls away to look deep into your mind mesmerisingly. Her delicate fingers stroke down your cheek as her eyes flick between yours and the lips you're biting. I want you. She states this with such confidence and not an ounce of alcohol slurring her words that your knees wobble.
"I want you too", you finally whisper to her, unsure if the alcohol was giving you courage or making silly decisions on your behalf.
"And you know that Rhys wants you too; nothing about that has changed", Feyre continues as you glance over your shoulder to look up at Rhys as he kisses the side of your head. You nod, understanding that she was referring to your past with him.
"I think we should find somewhere more private, don't you?" Feyre continues as you agree with her.
One second, you're in Ritas, and the next, you're in the comforting bedroom in the townhouse of Feyre and Rhys. The instant calmness of the loud music faded, and the delicate touch of the wind as it floated through the open archway to the balcony. Sighing at the coolness as it kissed against the exposed skin of your arms, you let it distract you from the chaos erupting in your heart and mind.
Rhys moved away first, and before you turned to see what he was doing, Feyre stepped back and grabbed your hand. The two of you laughed wholeheartedly while stumbling over to their gigantic bed.
You both collapse into the centre, laughing at nothing as the springs cause you both to bounce before settling and wrapping your arms around each other.
Rhys leans against the bedpost at the base of the bed, smiling down at the two of you, especially as Feyre lifts her feet and wiggles them in his direction. "Come on, High Lord. Look busy", she giggles as Rhys smirks, moving to sit on the edge of the bed and dragging her feet into his lap. Carefully, he unbuckled the straps of her heels, dropped the shoes onto the floor and carefully kissed the top of her knee as the dress she wore now pooled midthigh no that she was lying down, and then his sights were set on you.
With long strides, he's around the other side of the bed, now closest to you, and begins to remove your shoes as well, but then your feet remain over his thighs, and the reality of the situation finally dawns on you. Like he had with Feyre, his eyes never leave yours as you forget to breathe altogether, and he kisses your knee delicately.
Feyre raised to lean on her fist so that she could look down at you as your gaze turned from one to the other.
"You'll tell us if it's too much, I mean", she asks, appearing more sober as you, too, notice the liquid courage seems to have disappeared from your system as you nod in agreement at her. She smiles as Rhys' fingers caress from your ankle up to your calf. "I've never kissed a female before", she admits as the hand she isn't leaning on reaches across to run her fingers down the side of your face.
"I think you'd enjoy it", you say, sounding breathless, becoming lost in the desire that darkens her usually bright eyes. You're encouraged to continue as her fingers continue to explore your face and linger on your lips. "Kissing a man is nice and dominant, rough. But with females, they're soft, sweet, gentle but demanding if needed."
Feyre bites her lower lip as she glances at Rhys for a split second before turning her attention back down to you. "I want to kiss you", admits eternally.
"I don't think your mate would appreciate me touching what's he", you say, trying to remain as level-headed as possible, knowing that the mind between mates should not be interfered with.
Feyre's eyes gleam with mischief as she looks down at her mate, who has remained silent so far. "My mate wants to kiss you too", she confirms.
"More than you could know", Rhys then speaks, his tone taunt and deep, like he is trying to hold back, but it is all the confirmation you need.
Reaching up to your High lady, you cup her jaw and pull her close, meeting her halfway as your lips connect. The two of you forget to breathe momentarily, simply remaining in place and allowing each of your emotions to escalate before your movements finally catch up to your pounding heart.
Your lips press more firmly, moving against hers until they relax and open, giving you the perfect position to tease your tongue between her lips. You both moan, especially now that you can taste her, feel her loosening and falling more into the kiss, finding the courage to push your head back onto the bed and become more demanding.
Your fingers slip through her hair as you greedily try to taste the other. She was sweet, oh so fucking sweet you could have drowned in her and thanked the Cauldron for giving you the opportunity. Her full lips are cushioned against yours until you're both starving of oxygen and needing to pull back to breathe.
A second, this lasted before her face wasn't above yours anymore, and your High Lord was leaning over your body, his hand now cupping the entire side of your face as he kissed you with greed. The sensation of nostalgia hit, the taste that you'd grown fond of over the years of intimacy before Feyre crashed through your senses. Yet, there was something new and exciting with this kiss, even as you continued to stroke through his mate's hair and hold her to your side as Rhysand bruised your lips, his tongue entering your mouth for a brief second as you moaned.
Then he's pulling back, and you're welcomed to the beautiful sight of Feyre and Rhys desperately kissing. You'd seen them kiss more times than you could count, but being this close, having each of them still clutching onto your body in some way.
Feyre was the first to ease away, tilting her head slightly so that Rhysands lips could move to the slop of her neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses until reaching the strap of her dress on her shoulder and easing it down. Coping his movement, you, too, moved the strap off of her other shoulder and the material pooled below her ribs, exposing her breasts to you. There wasn't a second wasted before you moved to lick one of her perked nipples as Rhys nibbled on the other.
The soft moan from Feyre lit a fire in your belly as you continued to taste the sweetness of her skin, but then your head was moved back as Feyre demanded your mouth with hers once more.
With your back pressed against the bed, Feyre attempts to move over you but then halts herself, "I don't know what I'm doing" Feyre giggles.
Grinning up at her innocence, you admire the way that her eyes are half-lidded and swollen lips are pulled between her teeth as Rhys continues to caress her nipples and breasts with his mouth and hands.
Tucking a stray curl of golden hair behind her ear, you explain, "Touch me like you'd touch yourself. Do you touch yourself?" you ask, clarifying. The apples of her cheeks had already risen from the alcohol and kissing, but now they deepened in the shade as she said yes. Rhys growls against her chest at the thought of her touching herself and then begins to remove her dress further down her body until she's naked. You see, seeing that she'd gone without underwear and reached to touch her now slightly sensitive nipples.
Once more, you admire how she hitches a breath at the touch. She still seems hesitant as her fingers draw your dress's edge against your collarbones. Rhys, also sensing her nerves, lies on the other side of you, resting his head on his fist as he wraps his large hand around Feyre's small one.
"Here, let ms show you, Darling", he explains lowly, and you notice that he's now topless, the muscles flexing with his movements and bat wings flared out behind him, hovering in the air.
You and Feyre watch as Rhys moves her hand over your chest, cupping your breast over your dress and squeezing firmly. You can't help but rub your thighs together as the low pleasure builds in your already aroused body, the air thick with seedy scents from all three of you.
Rhys then catches your eye, winking cheekily with a handsome smirk. Within a blink of an eye, all clothes that remained on his or your body disappeared, and now Feyre's hand was pressed directly against your skin.
Your back arches slightly into the touch, pushing your breast into her hand, and then it's your turn to gasp as Rhys moves her fingers to pinch your nipple fiery, tugging it away from your body and then pressing a thumb against the aching area.
It was a sight you adored watching as Feyre tentatively began to learn how to touch your body. There was so much you wanted to do to both of them, and as much as you wanted to give Feyre a chance to move lower, you didn't like the attention just on you. It was challenging to decide whether to touch him or her, but as it was Feyre's first time with a girl, you wanted to see if she enjoyed your face between her legs.
"Feyre, can I be on top of you?" you ask her with a surprisingly pitched voice.
She grins as her eyes glow ever brighter as she rolls onto her back, "You don't have to ask".
Returning her smile, you slip around Rhys and straddle Feyre's waist, leaning down to kiss her hungrily for a few seconds before moving backwards, lower down her body. "I want to taste you". Your words pressed against her skin as your mouth journeyed south, kissing the peaks of her breasts down her sternum and toned stomach. Her breaths were coming out in quick huffs as she squirmed on the bed, legs spreading as your body fit between them, your face pressing against the softness of her thighs.
Feyre's arousal was evidenced by the wetness that now caressed your cheek as you nuzzled yourself closer, resting your weight on your chest and arse perked in the air as you felt the High Lord move behind you. Blowing cool air over Feyre's beautiful cunt, you loved how responsive she already was as she shivered and gripped tightly to the sheet beneath her, looking down her body at you.
Whilst holding her eye contact, you finally lowered your mouth to her, tongue sweeping over her labia and tasting her salty but uniquely beautiful juices. The High Lady's gasp was like music to your ears, especially as you pressed more firmly, dipping beneath and stroking over her clit and feeling it throb against your tongue. "You taste so fucking good".
Rhys, who was licking his lips at the sight, began to hover over both of you, kissing down your spine, causing goosebumps to rush to the surface of your skin. He, too, began to use his tongue to pleasure as he knelt behind you, flicking his tongue into your cunt and pushing in. You groan, and in turn, Feyre does, too.
"I've missed this", Rhys admits from behind as he circles your hole with his fingers, carefully easing a single digit within. This was the first time you'd been penetrated by anything in over 50 years. Amarantha had often tortured you with your arousal, making sure you were never given anything to ease the ache, but then after her demise, even when you touched yourself, you were so sensitive it would only take clitoris to play for you to orgasm.
Your back arches, pressing your breasts further into the bed and arse harder into Rhys' face as he rocks his finger in and out before adding another and beginning to curl his fingers until your whimpering into his mate's cunt. Warmth flushed over your face as you realised just how quickly you were close to orgasm, so you moved with more enthusiasm as you sucked on her clit and then pressed your tongue firmly against it. Then, for the first time in 50 years, you used your powers because you wanted to, not because you were being forced to.
Rhys and Feyre both moan loudly enough that the bed trembles. You'd caused the sensation for him that his cock was now being wrapped tightly down someone's throat and Feyre to fill full internally, with someone caressing the sensitive nerves within her cunt, both nipples being sucked on by an invisible force.
"What was that?" she cries out as she closes her eyes, her hips now rotating on their own accord as she chases her high. You could have made her orgasm with your powers but didn't want to overwhelm her immediately, so you settled in softly as you continue to circle her clit.
Not stopping to answer her question, you match the sensations you're going through and then as Rhys' thumb pressed against your clit and the hurricane of an orgasm pulsed through your cunt and abdomen, you made sure that both mates also came at the same time.
Rhys grunted, one hand coming to rest on your hip and squeezing the flesh as he humped against the bed, staining the sheets with his seed, and Feyre coated your mouth with her arousal, her thighs almost crushing you in the process, but you would have died happy right there.
While still trying to catch her breath, Feyre suddenly announces loudly, "Sit on my face". You and Rhys' face snap up to look at her, laughing at the crudeness of her words that aren't usually that forward. She appears sheepish for once, asking, "What? Did I say it wrong?"
"Not at all", you begin whilst crawling up her body until you're face to face. "Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
With Rhys' steady hands on your hips, you moved to kneel on either side of your High Lady's face, looking down your body at her excited expression. Still reluctant, it takes Feyre's tattoed fingers to wrap around your thighs and pull your body down before her mouth is on your intimate area. You weren't sure who moaned louder, you or Feyre, as she started by licking and tasting between your folds before building more enthusiasm and dipping the tip of her tongue into your pussy.
"You're doing so good", you praise whilst holding one hand on the headboard of the bed and the other slipping into Feyre's hair. Glancing over your shoulder, you admire Rhys, who was on his knees watching the two of you, his hand wrapped around his surprisingly already hard cock. He looked almost godly in this position, the tattoos of the mountains on his knees gleaming at you for more than one reason, his wings spread wide behind him. "Look busy, High Lord; I think our beautiful High Lady's cunt is looking lonely down there".
"It would be my honour, Love", Rhys agrees, moving closer and easing his mates legs over his thighs as he lowers the tip of his cock over her clit, teasing her for a second before entering her. You could feel the rush of air against your pussy as she gasps, rotating her hips as she rocks against Rhys.
You match the movements, rolling your hips against her face as her nose knocks against your bundle of nerves and her tongue moves ever deeper. Everything felt so good; your body was alive with emotions and buzzing nerves. You could have died happy right there, especially as your face is then tilted back and Rhys' mouth is on yours, kissing whilst fucking his mate.
Even with his tongue down your throat, you wish you could praise Feyre; she makes you feel so good, even though it is her first time doing this. And Rhys, he always knew how to leave you breathless and begging for more.
You weren't even prepared as your orgasm rocked you very well. Rhys had to half hold you up as your body trembled, cunt squeezing and pulling around Feyre's tongue until the sensations lessons at you collapsed next to the pair, trying to catch your breath.
Then you watched, with awe and amazement, as Rhys fucked Feyre, their fingers all over each other, grasping and holding as both of them eased closer to their peak. But even then, when both were breathless and arching their backs, you were still being grabbed and included with kisses and touches until all three were motionless in the middle of the bed.
To say you were exhausted was an understatement, having not had two orgasms in quick successions in so long, and the thrill of emotions was enough to have you falling asleep almost immediately. Not before you're checked in by both of them, Rhys wraps an arm around your waist, and Feyre's head rests against your chest.
"Are you ok? I mean - was that alright for you?" she whispers, sounding just as exhausted as you.
"It was perfect", you respond before closing your eyes and falling asleep.
Waking up was not the blissful peace you'd hoped it would be. The thrill of the alcohol had completely gone from your body, and all that remained was a heavy sickness of guilt in your stomach. Last night was beyond perfect. Everything you could have wanted and more, but reality was your worst enemy.
Feyre and Rhys were mates, not only this but your High Lord and Lady. A fun night of relieving tensions for them meant so much more for you; emotions that had attempted to lay dormant were now screaming in your mind that you'd made one of the worst mistakes yet. They wouldn't want you. They couldn't have you anyway. No matter how deep the feelings ran, there was no such thing as a mates pair having a third join.
When the pair would wake, you knew it would be full of awkwardness and 'let's never do this again'. So, with great difficulty, you began to untangle yourself from the duo, careful not to wake either of them as you climbed out of bed.
It wouldn't happen again, and the sooner you realised this and came to terms with it, the easier the pain in your heart could ease. Grabbing your dress that was folded on a nearby chair, you slipped it on and, with your shoes in hand, left without glancing back at the sleeping couple.
You had a room in their house, much like the rest of the inner circle, but there was no way you could remain in the same room as them for a day, at least so, after changing into more comfortable clothes and hiding under a coat, you left to go to your own home.
It was on the other side of Velaris, and on the walk there, with the sun slowly beginning to rise and wake up the other occupants of your home town, you had time to overthink every single touch and moan from last night. Eventually, you arrived at your abandoned apartment, having hardly slept here since your nightmares were so crippling that you needed to stay near Rhys and Feyre at all times.
You attempted to distract yourself by scrubbing your skin raw, trying to remove the scents of both of them away, but when that didn't work, you moved to deep cleaning your home, which now had a thick layer of dust and cobwebs across the surfaces. This was until you could collapse with exhaustion into your cold bed.
The nightmares were there, so violently, in fact, that you were startled awake because you couldn't breathe. Your mouth opened to scream for Rhys to save you but stopped, biting on your tongue until blood coated your mouth. Scrubbing a heavy hand down your face as you caught your breath and eased the ache in your chest, you glanced out of the window, seeing the sun high in the sky, meaning it hadn't been that long since you'd fallen asleep.
Your stomach gave a hungry growl as you sighed, collapsing back onto your pillow, staring aimlessly towards your ceiling.
I was going to give you one more hour of rest before coming to find you, but it seems you've beaten me to it. Rhys' voice echoed in your mind in a deep drawl that had a fluttering of pain seep into your chest as you remembered last night. Deciding to do something you've never done before, you tried to ignore him, turning over and pulling your bed sheet over your head and shutting down your mental shields, but he simply pushed them aside with his talons.
Why are you there and not at home?
Without thinking, you snapped back sassily, This is my home.
He didn't comment on your tone as he continued to ask. Why did you leave?
I needed to shower. You answered simply, knowing it was a useless excuse.
We could have showered together. Rhys purred back, and even his tone was your core warming. Unsure of what to reply with, you decide remaining silent was your best option, so he filled the silence with more questions. I don't want to intrude on your personal space but don't block us out. Last night was-.
I know.  You cut off his sentence, not wanting to hear his rejections. It's fine. I'll just speak to you later, Rhysand.
Rhysand? When do you ever call me that? He sounded more urgent with his questions, so you try even harder with your mental shields until a thick wall separates the two of you, and his words are finally silenced. Your emotions finally snap as you sob until you can't breathe.
You remained in this position for the rest of the day. Your hunger is now dormant with the sickness in your chest. The tears would dry and then start again as you feel the ghost of their lips against your skin with the memories that continued to spiral through your mind over and over again. Eventually, the sunset, and you were left with the shadows from the fae lights to keep you company.
Deciding the bedroom only made you feel worse; you move into the living room, sit on the couch, and stare at the wall.
At one point, you could feel the stroke of gentle fingers against your mental shields, but you kept them in place, deciding it was best to ignore Feyre as well. However, a firm knock came on your door late into the night. You wanted nothing more than to ignore it, to leave whoever was there to think you were asleep, but as the knock came again, you decided to just get it over and done with, already knowing who was there.
Opening the door, you're greeted by Feyre and Rhys, holding a plate of your favourite food and both smiling gently towards you, their eyes searching over your body to check you're well but noticing how red and bloodshot the whites of your eyes were.
"A peace offering":  Feyre offers the place towards you, but you don't take it; you step out of the way and allow them to enter your home. Moving further into the room, you returned to the corner of the couch, avoiding their eye contact as you tucked your knees beneath you and hugged a pillow to your chest.
Feyre places the plate on the small table before you and sits to your right, while Rhys sits opposite in the armchair.
"I've never actually been here before. It's cute." Feyre continues trying to cheer you up somehow, but you ignore her.
"I'm sorry", you finally painfully say, wanting to get it over and done with.
"Sorry?" Rhys asks in confusion, leaning forward until he rests his elbows on his knees. "For what?"
You couldn't help but flinch, turning your shoulders in to appear smaller. "For last night. For overstepping in your relationship. I shouldn't have let my emotions dictate my actions. I've- I've just been so lonely, and I trust you both more than anyone, but you're mates, and I know what's happened is unforgivable and-".
A delicate hand covers your mouth, stopping your flow of words as Feyre leans forward with fire lighting her eyes, eyebrows set furrowed. "Would you stop trying to say how me and Rhys feel, please? Because I think you'll find you're incredibly wrong with every single thing that you say". Her hand begins to lower, and you open your mouth to battle what she has said, so she quickly keeps her hand over your mouth. "Nope! No talking, just listen. We don't regret anything about last night".
Without using your mouth, you roll your eyes, but that only earns you a squeeze against your cheeks. Rhys then begins to talk, "She's not lying. There isn't an ounce of regret in my body" his eyes remain steady as he stares at you.
"Yes, Rhys and I are mates, and the thought of someone touching what's mine fills me with murderous rage, but when I watched the two of you touch and kiss, I felt anything but negativity. You've not just been anyone to me; you're special to both of us. More than you could ever know."
"You saved my life under the mountain. Without you, I wouldn't have survived her", Rhys admitted, referring to the one person you hated more than the King of Hybern. At seeing your relaxed state, Feyre finally loses her hand from your face as you stare at the deep, raw emotions on Rhys' face, the sharpness as his jaw tensed.
"You saved me too", Feyre continues as you look towards her now. "In those dark dungeons when you would visit to keep me company or healy my body and mind, there's no way I would have survived it all".
She takes your hand, squeezing your fingers as she talks. "You haven't just been a friend to us. Even now that I and Rhy are mates, I feel this longing to be near you. I often thought maybe we are meant to have more than one mate because the way I feel for you isn't just lust".
Your breath was out heavily, not realising you'd been holding your breath as they both spoke, a lightness filling your heart and mind. "I thought you both would come to regret what we did. That my emotions were just one way because you saved me more times than I could ever begin to list. You're my closest friends; save me from the dark each night, but after what we did, I thought I'd overstepped the boundary, and you wouldn't want to see me again".
"Well then, you don't know me then, do you? Because I don't back down from what I want, and I meant what I said when I said I wanted you," Feyre responds passionately as your gaze flicks from her eyes to her lips before Rhys inches forward until kneeling beside you both, his hand resting over yours and Feyres joined hands.
"This may be difficult to understand. Yes, we are mates, but you have always meant something close to me, and I've known for a long time that Feyre feels similarly. I want you, Love, like I want Feyre. The thought of not being able to have you or someone else's hands on you makes me want to strike everyone down" he pauses to take a deep, steadying breath as he rolls his neck to ease the tension and anger that burst from him as his jealous emotions overtake him. "If you don't want to be with us, we'd understand and return to how we have always been. But we can't lose you, even as a friend".
You scoff, unable to hold back your reaction, as you sit up with a burst of energy, looking between them. "Of course, I want you both! I thought it was obvious. There's no way I'm letting either of you go" Your fingers tighten in their hold as you finally smile. Rhys and Feyre sigh in relief. "I don't understand how this is going to work, though, between the three of us. How do we even explain this to the others?"
Rhys shrugs his shoulders, "It's not for them to get. This will be understood with time, but let's concentrate on each other, being together and learning this new dynamic. It's not anything to rush, just that we each understand that we have each other".
Life came with its highs and lows. Even at its lowest, the smudging of hope could draw you out and lead you on a whole new path. All those years ago, never would you have thought you could be with two of the most remarkable people of all of Pyrthian, but by the Cauldron, you were going to hold onto them so tight and never let them go.
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mstowel · 1 month ago
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do not know if this will reach anyone, but i hope it does! made this solely to provide info/closure for yall --- hopefully u can put two and two together as to who i am based on my handle here :p
the decision to delete the blog was made on my own. i did not get in trouble, i was not asked to delete it from anyone affiliated with the official show production, i decided to myself. i am sorry for those who were upset to lose all that information, i feel bad enough as it is doing that. the negative energy and empty threats were just not what i wanted to deal with and it made the last few days stressful & not fun on here for me lol. i am glad that i was able to provide a place for you guys to go to for information about the show and what not. i had the best time running it and making connections with some of u :')
i ultimately decided that i want to be able to go to the show with 0 stress/pressure/etc. of this blog and it was almost beginning to feel like a job in a way. i created this community because i didn't have anyone to share the show with,,,and now i am lucky enough to have people in my life that i can share it with! enjoying my time and seeing the show with friends is something i have to prioritize over running the blog. the support u all gave me was unreal and something that will forever mean the world to me. seriously thank u guys and remember to just be kind to one another!! i am doing ok and i hope u all are as well! <3
(just for old times sake,,covers tonight were dan darry & victor paul)
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himezoro · 10 months ago
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roronoa zoro's guide to relationship
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before anything : tysm for your support on my first post!! i'm working on a long piece to celebrate starring the loml here. feel free to request anything your heart desires, i'll be happy to oblige ËšÊšâ™ĄÉžËš
here's a headcanon of what a relationship with roronoa zoro would include in my opinion.
warning: gn reader, use of "you" and "them", sfw, but sexual intercourses implied! i'll write a dedicated nsfw one if you want to ;)
wc : 1,070k+.
being in a relationship with roronoa zoro would include :
being used as a body pillow. zoro is a heavy sleeper, and his s/o would be the best body pillow ever. he won't admit it, but he feels pretty sad when he's on watch duty and can't sleep alongside their s/o in their shared bed. if his s/o complains about being too hot, he would much prefer pouring an ice cold buck of water upon them rather than moving his body a little. his giant body won't move.
being teased about your habits. zoro is observant and likes a good laugh. so, he would pick on all the small (cute) things his s/o does that feel funny to him. you're sleeping with a stuffed bear ? he would tease you by arranging it in the most deranged scenes ever. you're hugging any of your newest purchase after buying them ? he would tease you by mimicking you with his bottle of sake. be prepared to be constantly teased on.
however, this man won't let anyone make fun of you, and would always defend your honor (even if that third party would make fun of the same things he teases you about). he would yell at luffy and usopp so bad if they dared pulling the smallest of prank on you (remember that scene where he makes luffy drink a whole glass of water at the baratie ? yeah he'll make him drink the whole ocean this time lol)
having his hand on the small of your back while you walk. when a crewmate mentions it to him, he just huffs and acts like "it's nothing". actually, he didn't even notice it himself, but the way his hand falls on your back so naturally is beyond any scientific reasonings. this gesture alone speaks volumes about his love and affection.
making you talk about the smallest of things. roronoa zoro is not the most chattery in the whole crew, but he lives for listening to the voice of their s/o. he would ask you to read a passage of the book you're reading, talk about what you liked and disliked for hours, the latest gossip on the Sunny, anything would make him happy. his head would naturally fall on your lap as he daydreams while rocking on the sound of your honey-like voice. (he would love hearing your voice in bed)
being trusted, valued and respected. zoro would give his all to his s/o. this man is so focused on his dream and his loyalty to luffy would mean so much, that choosing commitment means he would respect and value his s/o for their personality, experiences and ethics. the second he decided it was the right decision, after a lot of introspection, his heart would be left into your hands for you to do as please. he's also really careful as to not push your boundaries, and always asks for consent for anything. anyone with eyes can see how much he adores you and values your existence.
being constantly protected. even though he respects your abilities, he cannot help but keeping an eye on you anywhere, at any times, even when you're not around. he's on high alert, constantly on watch. during combat, he would go rampage if someone dared to touch you, and i'm not talking about being hurt. if that were the case, zoro would not even be able to look at you (in scared of being too "softened") before destroying the enemy with pure sadism.
being kissed all the time when you're alone. this boy hates PDAs, which could be one of the reasons why his has his hand on your back so no one can really see lol. that does not mean he won't look at you with love and adoration in public, offering you a quick and genuine smile or wink when your eyes lock. but when alone, zoro reveals himself as a passionate lover. he would kiss you endlessly until your breath runs out, and would kiss you again when he's given the "go". his kisses would be long, and he would trap you in his huge arms the whole time, running his hands through your waist, hips, legs and ass. he won't say it, but he loves it when you cup his face during the kiss or run your fingers through his green hair. bonus if you grip on his shoulders during intimate moments, where he would kiss you harder and a tad rougher. with him drinking a lot, be prepared for some amusing kissing sessions where he could kiss you with his mouth full of sake (unless you're not drinking, which he would totally respect!!)
him showing off to sanji just to fuck with him. hell, he would lick your whole face in front of the chef if that could set him on fire. that would make him laugh his ass off.
having heated arguments. zoro is stubborn and can be impulsive. if he's in a cranky mood, he may raise his voice at his s/o for nothing important, but he would be feeling so sorry after that. he would shyly apologize in what feels like a whisper, but he would give you some space for a little time before doing so.
being told "i love you" when he thinks you're sleeping. zoro is not chatty, and again, you know he loves you, and he knows he does. anyone with eyes can see that. but sometimes, when the rythme of this life gets too crazy, or when he feels the need for you to hear these magic words and for him to vocalize his feelings, he would say "i love you" in the most intimate way possible, in the crook of your neck when you're sleeping, before pressing a kiss to your temple. little did he know, you heard it every single time. he would also say it during really intimate and slow make out sessions and intercourses. however, he would often thinks "i love them", at the most random times when he's looking at his s/o : seeing them eat ? shower ? dance ? reading ? he's loving them all the time. 24/7. (he just needs the courage to say it each time he thinks it, but then he would look like sanji and he can't have that)
being his. zoro won’t admit it but he loves knowing you’re his, and having the others know it as well. he is so proud of you, and proud to have such an amazing partner. and he would have no shame in saying he’s yours.
don't start me but zoro would be the type of guy to say "i'm not taking a shower unless it's with you" lol.
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