#right now is just kind of bad timing bc a few of my closer friends are more preoccupied than usual

[backtodecembertv]

i wish my family could be more calm and supportive but they’re not therapists and it might not be an entirely reasonable expectation

[welovelouisandbucky]

My two favorite Slytherin boys headcanons bc why not?

T/w: few swear words, my writing, and some out of character stuff because im delusional, little suggestive if you can call it that, and yes aside from that if you find any pls let me know:) also my writing

A/n: hi y'all, I just want to say pls be kind as this is my first time writing for these characters so if there's any mistakes pls overlook them thank you! Also I tried my best to keep this GN so everyone can read and enjoy this and yeah that's it, have great day!!!

S/n: requests are open so feel free to send in ideas, I'll love to write what you guys suggest. Also feel free to ask for more Slytherin or any Harry Potter characters you want headcanons/blurbs about, I'll love to write and add more🤗

Masterlist

Mattheo Riddle

(gifs credits to the rightful owner)

Also this one's long as you can see I got carried away😁

Mattheo who always looks forward to see your face after the end of the day

Mattheo who will fight any one who looks at you funny or talks shits about you

Mattheo who glares at every single person but the seconds he spots you his eyes softens up in millisecond in adoration

Mattheo who holds your books or bag everywhere you guys go, because God forbid if his princess/prince ever has to worry about those things when he's there to do them for you

Mattheo who waits after you when the class is over so he can walk you to other class while he pulls you as closer to him as possible

Mattheo who searches for you before every Quidditch game so he can have his good luck charm kiss from you

Mattheo who pretends to hate and act tough when you baby him while secretly melting into a puddle inside every time you call him sweet names. ( He absolutely loses his shit when you call him baby but shush it's a secret 😌)

Mattheo who has probably drawn you only few hundreds of times in his super, super duper, very classified sketchbook that no one knows of.

Mattheo who always encourages you to do things you want to do but are too scared to actually do it.

Mattheo who always supports your decisions, even if they are stupid

Mattheo who appropriates your little hobbies and interests even if they are weird, he just wants to you to feel safe and heard around him

Mattheo who's always there for you whenever you need him, always there to hold you close on bad days because he knows how it feels when you are at your worst and there's no one to comfort you (thankfully he doesn't have to worry about being alone now that you are here as well as his friends)

Mattheo who struggles with expressing his emotions and feelings but still tries his hardest to show them to you because he wants you to know how much you mean to him.

Mattheo who's not that good at comforting but still pulls you to him because he can't stand seeing you cry and not do anything about it.

Mattheo who willingly listens to you rant about everything and anything because he loves hearing your voice (even if half of the things you said are going above his head but hey at least he's trying! ☺️)

Mattheo who hates not knowing what's happening around him because it makes him feel helpless and he hates feeling weak. That's why he always, and I mean always knows what's going on everywhere

Mattheo who's touch starved (bc yk all that being dark Lord's son and growing up with death eaters and all) and craves your touch. He's always in any way touching you, whether holding hands, or a hand on your thigh or waist just any kind of physical touch because he wants to be as close to you as possible.

Mattheo who loves loves cuddles, doesn't matter who's spooning who as long as you guys are in each other's arms.

Mattheo who loves you so much that it physically hurts him, and there's nothing he wouldn't do you

Mattheo who will always protect you no matter what

~~~

Theodore Nott

Theo who loves to tease you throughout the whole day just so he can see you all worked up for him

Theo who looks forward to your quick comebacks every time he comments on something he knows he will get reaction out of you and absolutely loses his shit when you roast the shit out of him for it

Theo who calls you sweet endearments in Italian because he loves to see your confused smile, contemplating whether he roasted you or called you something sweet in foreign language

Theo who keeps you company while you finish your homework in library

Theo who loves spending time with you on Astronomy tower (he just in general loves spending time with you but astronomy tower is more special to him) while you are snuggled up against his side as you guys look at stars.

Theo who will read with you, doesn't matter what kind of books you guys are reading as long as both of you are together.

Theo who prefers reading classic novels but will happily read cheesy rom-com books with you because you said so (secretly he enjoys them too but hush🙈)

Theo who actually enjoys reading poetry, and sometimes when you guys are alone he'll read few to you

Theo who's always there to comfort you whenever you have problems with your family because he knows how it feels.

Theo who's always there to stand up for you in any situation

Theo who starts to smoke less around you if it bothers you, but if you smoke too then both of you guys will smoke together at the Astronomy tower

Theo who loves silence and doesn't enjoy talking much but is always ready to listen to you talk for hours, you are the only person he can talk and listen to for eternity without ever getting sick of it.

Theo who loves when you wear his clothes

Theo who said I love you first time when he saw you curse someone out because they said some shit about him, he doesn't really care whatever shit they were saying but seeing you stand up for him made him feel emotions he never felt before.

Theo who just absolutely loves you and wants to spend entirety of his life with you

Thank you so much for reading, likes and comments are very much appreciated. As well as positive criticism, pls don't hate this is a safe place for everyone!! Bye bye have great day!!!

~~~~

Enzo's headcanon!

[its-all-papaya]

okay for the prompt ask game: landoscar, the most cliche thing: only one bed, and getting together - go!

only one bedddd MY LOVE. I ADORE making the boys CUDDLE.

tell me what you wish I'd write

I will set the scene: Lando and Oscar are in their second year as teammates, now, and they’re proper friends, right? Much closer than they were the year before. Time to…. meet the family?

snippet enclosed at the end under the break just fyi :,)

Meddling Nicole. We know now that she will canon throw her son under the bus and expose him for a little laugh. She also knows that Oscar has been maybe a little obsessed with Lando for years, and getting to know him as a teammate has not dulled Lando’s shine for Oscar at all. He’s actually worse. Tries to be really lowkey about it, not bringing up Lando too often, only mentioning him when he feels it’s relevant, but Nicole can tell by the change in his voice when he talks about Lando, the way he edges Lando into conversations he doesn’t really NEED to be in. Anyway. A few weeks ahead of the Australian GP she’s on a call with Oscar and is like “You should bring Lando round when he’s here, honey. Have him stay a night, we’d love to meet him properly.” And Oscar is like… oh. uh. Yeah. Sure.

In what world is Lando going to say no to Oscar on that when Oscar’s got his soft Lando Smile on and he’s like “just for a night, my mom really wants you to”?

The day after the race perhaps? Because Lando podiums and Carlos wins so they go out and Lando is perhaps a little hungover and cranky when he arrives, but immediately goes soft for Oscar. He’s headachy and tired and reaches for Osc as soon as he’s in the doorway, wrapping his free arm around Oscar’s back and resting in the hug for a long, long second. They’re speaking in soft little private voices to one another and giggling and Oscar is smiling his hopeless, besotted smile, and Lando’s eyes are sparkling even through the hangover exhaustion. And then “Lando, so glad you could make it!” and they spring apart and Lando rubs at his cheek with his palm and Oscar rolls his eyes at his mum and gives Lando a little squeeze around the wrist as apology.

“Let me take your bags, Oscar can show you around a bit and you can get some lunch in you.”

They’d hang out all day, maybe with Oscar’s sisters (who love Lando obviously bc they can all team up on Oscar together), perhaps kicking around outside or whatever.

Dinner has Meet the Family (tm) vibes where Oscar’s parents are quizzing Lando about his own family and racing and how Oscar is at work. And maybe there’s some food Lando doesn’t eat and he feels really bad and is stressed but Oscar is like “you don’t have to eat that. Mum, I told you Lando doesn’t eat seafood.” Very Romantic. Very Domestic.

Afterwards, they all convene in the living room to play a game or something and Lando doesn’t understand the rules and doesn’t have the attention span to learn so he’s like “I’ll just be on a team with Oscar.” Except he’s really just leaning into Oscar’s side, looking at the cards but mostly just Oscar’s hands, and watching Oscar play. Eventually he kind of catches the gist and makes a suggestion about something right at Oscar’s ear, lips brushing skin, and the move… works? And Oscar is like “thanks, mate” all soft and Lando is like “I’d say we make pretty good teammates, yeah? someone should hire us that way” and yawns and smirks at the way it makes everyone giggle.

Eventually Lando starts nodding off against Osc’s shoulder, everyone’s talking and laughter warm around him. After it sticks, Lando’s cheek smushed against Oscar’s bicep, Oscar’s hand curled around Lando’s knee, Nicole goes “you should take that one to bed, honey, he looks exhausted.” And Oscar is like… simply why would you phrase it like that? but “okay, is he staying in the guest room?” and Nicole is like “oh! did I not tell you? we’ve got your grandmother there. huh. could have sworn I told you this. I figured Lando could just bunk with you, hope that’s alright!” and Oscar is like... well. I’m not going to make him sleep on the COUCH 24 hours after a race.

So he wakes Lando up sooooo gently and Lando blinks soft and sleepy and a little frowny because he was cozy there, actually. And everyone else feels like they’re intruding, as is prone to happen around Lando and Oscar.

Oscar apologetic explaining the situation, but Lando just shrugs and stretches and follows him up the stairs, because it won’t be the first time he’s fallen asleep in the same bed as a teammate, probably.

Oscar’s childhood bedroom hasn’t changed much since he left for boarding school, and Lando perks up once they get there so he can poke fun of Oscar about the posters and the knickknacks on his desk. And Oscar’s blushy and laughing and a little defensive, but mostly just fond fond fond having Lando in this part of his life.

They brush their teeth side by side, elbows knocking, and it’s… so domestic. Overwhelming. Oscar is scared of how easily they move around each other, Lando’s hand on the small of his back as he sneaks by to grab his face wash from the bedroom where he’d forgotten it, Oscar handing over a towel to dry Lando’s face before Lando can even ask.

Oscar’s stressed that it’s going to be awkward when it comes time to actually get in bed, but Lando just tucks himself in against the wall and curls up on Oscar’s pillow. Oscar dilly dallies a bit, but Lando huffs and pats the bed and goes “Oscar,” drawing out the last syllable, “turn off the light and come to bed, I’m tired.”

Which. Does THINGS to Oscar. But Lando asked nicely, so he flips the switch and crawls in next to Lando.

They don’t touch at first. And Oscar’s bed is only a full, so it’s like… intentional. And that lasts a few minutes. But Lando whines and pats at Oscar’s side until Oscar says “what“ and Lando’s eyes are big and soft even in the dark and he says “‘m not very comfy” with a small little smile and Oscar is… only a man. So he lifts his arm up and lets Lando crawl happily under and settle against his chest with a contented sigh. And from there it’s easy to pet Lando’s hair and let Lando practically purr into his chest about it. SOFT. CUDDLY.

Lando falls asleep almost immediately because he’s still recovering from the night before. Oscar watches his eyelashes flutter prettily and toys with his curls and strokes the side of his cheek and just. Yearns. Because Lando fits so easily here in Oscar’s life. Everything felt so natural and right. Feels even more right now, with Lando in his bed, in his arms. So Oscar presses a little self-indulgent kiss to Lando’s forehead. Except the skin wrinkles beneath his lips and Lando’s fingers flex where they’re tucked against Oscar’s waist. Lando’s eyes crack open and he looks. so! soft! but Oscar’s heart is racing because he just really, really thought Lando was fast asleep.

SNIPPET‼️

Lando doesn’t look mad, but he doesn’t really look anything discernible at all in the dim light filtering through Oscar's window. Mostly he just looks sleepy. From a distance, Oscar hears the familiar sound of the air-con kicking on.

“‘s nice,” Lando says after too long, eyes fluttering back closed. There's a little smile turning the corners of his lips up and his nose twitches a little where it's rested above the collar of Oscar's loose pajama shirt. He doesn't normally wear one, but he'd figured, given the circumstances, that it would be best to.

Emboldened again, Oscar places another light kiss, just to the left of the first. Lando's smile grows with it, and he turns his face into Oscar's chest, like he's bashful about it. Oscar wonders, if he turned his bedside lamp on, whether Lando's cheeks would be pink with his attention.

"Keep going," Lando says. Mostly breath, eyes still shut.

"Yeah?" Oscar's not sure what they're doing, where they're going with it, but it's been 18 months and he hasn't learned how to say no to Lando yet, so he puts his lips next to Lando's eyebrow, on the bridge of his nose. He pauses after that, and when he breathes in, he swears he can taste his own toothpaste on Lando's exhale.

"Os-car," Lando sing-songs. Oscar doesn't think it's fair, how Lando gets to hide behind his eyelids while they do this. Whatever it is.

"Lando," he gives Lando a scratch between the shoulder blades, "look at me."

It's bolder than he normally is, bolder than he feels, still, but it gets Lando to crack his eyes open. Lando's still smiling, but it's a little tighter again.

Oscar's heart is beating hard. He remembers suddenly, absurdly out of place, that he'd lost his virginity in this bed. He thinks that was easier.

"Are we doing this?"

Lando's fingers twitch at his side. Oscar can't tell whether they're curling into his side or into Lando's own palm.

"I mean," he's at least properly awake again, "yeah. If you want to. I want to."

Oscar's pulse hasn't slowed down. It feels like a final flying lap, one shot to get everything just right.

"I want to," Oscar confirms, "But not just to do it."

"Like how?" Lando says. He props himself up on his arm so he's looking down at Oscar. Oscar's hand falls to the small of his back. Keeping him close.

"Like not just to kiss, or whatever. Like I want to because I like you. And you're important to me. So I don't want to make things weird if it's not like that for you."

Something changes in Lando's gaze, and Oscar thinks it should probably be a look he hasn't seen before, but instead it's familiar, the way it settles over both of them.

"Os-car," Lando says in that same tone from before, "I'm in your fucking twin bed. Your sisters added me to a group chat while you were at the bathroom this afternoon. I learned a card game for you." He lifts his free hand to run a thumb under Oscar's eye, "It's weirder that I've done all that before we got here."

Oscar thinks that's a yes, but he has to be sure, so he catches Lando's fingers in his hand and brushes his lips over them.

"So?" Oscar says.

"So," says Lando, "your mum is going to be so happy when you tell her."

Like qualifying on pole. Like coming home. Lando kisses him.

And then every member of Oscar's family teases them endlessly and it's sooooo fluffy and cute and domestic xoxo the end

[kamii-2]

you should make a kk arnold or ice brady or nika mühl fic when the reader is straight but one of them turns them 🌸 and then it ends in like a heavy smut.

so basically like pick from one😭, but like imagine one of them with a strap and they whisper in the readers calling them a slut for them😱.

especially nika in her accent 😱😫

-👾

hi 👾 anon!! i love the request so much and this is my first time writing for nika so i’m sorry if it’s out of character and im so sorry it’s so late ive been busy lately and right now is the only time i get to write. this story is pretty long ALSO i might make this a series bc i love this request so much bro 😭

warning(s): cussing, smut

genre: fluff & smut

pairing(s): nika mühl x reader

not proofread ‼️

==================================

everyone knew you were gay but you just didn’t know it. the way you stared at nika every time she walked past made everyone suspicious, except yourself. you took it as you had a friend crush on her even though you guys were already friends, you thought that maybe you jsut wanted to get closer to her? you weren’t sure and hoped it stopped but didn’t at the same time. nika on the other hand, she knew you wanted her but played it cool because she knew you were confused about your sexuality. you had told her that you were straight but she’s no idiot, she sees the way you eye her down.

-

it was 8:39pm and you were in your room, listening to music. you were scrolling on instagram when nika popped up and you got the familiar butterfly feeling. you set your phone down and started to think of her, which lead to you thinking of fucking her, then after realizing you thought about fucking nika you immediately started to realize..

“holy shit, i’m gay.”

you knew she would be awake so you asked to come over. you texted her and she immediately replied to you, she said you could come over so you grabbed everything you needed and walked to her dorm that was at the other end of the hallway. you thought about everything that just happened as you made your way to her dorm.

when you reached her dorm you opened the door, knowing she left it unlocked for you. the moment you walked in you went straight to her room where she was sitting on her bed on her phone. when you walked in she stood up am dah be you a hug and you returned it before wucikly pulling away. “nika.” you said, “y/n.” she said with a bit of a concerned voice, you dragged her to her bed and sat her down. “you’re gonna want to sit for this.” you said and you looked down at her, she sat on the bed leaving back a little, man spreading, she looked so fine.

“okay so,” ypu hesitated, “i was in my room and i was on instagram and i started thinking and i realized im gay.” you said kind of fast and you were very nervous, you were getting hot from being flustered and near your ‘new’ crush. she smiled at you, “baby, i’ve known since forever, the way you stare at me gives it away.” she told you while sitting up and grabbing your waist. you weren’t gonna lie, you were getting wetter and wetter every second just from the sight of nika. you imagined all of the things you guys could be doing right now, and she was obviously thinking the same thing.

she pulled you into a kiss and you immediately kissed back. she caressed your body with her hands, she grabbed your ass and it took you by surprise so you gasped and she slipped her tongue in your mouth, the kiss turned from hot to heated real fast. the sexual tension was through the roof, you wanted her and she knew it. nika has been thinking about this moment for a while now, she wanted to know what your moans sounded like, what you tasted like, what you looked like under your clothes, she knew you were beautiful under but she wanted to see for herself, she wanted you and needed you badly.

she broke the kiss and stood up. “God, y/n. i need you so bad.” she said as she flipped you two around and made you lay down. she kissed you then kissed all over your neck, leaving a few hickies here and there and licking you. you needed to be touched, you were getting desperate. “please nika, do something to me.” you pleaded. she smiled on your skin before getting on her knees in between your legs, she looked up at you for consent even though she already knew the answer. “nika, just put your fingers in me already. i need you so bad.”you begged, you were getting frustrated by how slow she was going. “stop being so whiney.” she said while taking your shorts and panties off, she smiled when she seen how wet you were for her. she stuck her two fingers in you with no warning and pumped in and out of you at a normal pace. you were moaning and it was just like she had imagined.

the sound of your angelic moans made her want to taste you, she added her mouth and ate you like you were her last meal. you were making all of the fantasies come true, you moaning and she uses her fingers and mouth to fuck the life out of you. nika was soaked at the sight of you, she knew she was gonna have to teach you some stuff but she didn’t mind.

you were so close the cumming, a few thrust you might explode. “oh, i’m about to cum.” you moaned out, “that’s too bad, you wanna give attitude then you’re not about to do shit.” she said non-chalantly. the longer you held it the louder you got, “please nika, i need to cum. i’ll do anything im sorry for being a bitch.” you pleaded, your legs were shaking, you couldn’t take it. she removed her mouth a continued to finger fuck you and she stood up and leaned into your ear. “go ahead and cum for me.” nika whispered in your ear and went down to your neck and left big and dark hickies all over. you came and she stood up, pulled her fingers out, “i’ll be right back.” she informed you as she left the room.

when she came back she had a towel and a amazon box, she put the box the floor and helped you stand up. nika placed the towel down and told you to sit on the towel, she opened the box and pulled out a strap. “wow.” you muttered, “first time?” she glanced over at you as she took off her shorts and shirt, leaving on her black panties and bra. “no im not a virgin, just didn’t expect you to be the type to use a fake dick.” you told her with a small giggle. she looked up at you with a smile as she put the strap on, “well i am.” she told you as she walked over to you and lined herself up with you, “ready?” her hands were on your hips, gripping them hard. you nod in response, she slowly pushes into you, using your wetness as lube.

nika starts to go faster every couple thrusts and the faster she got the more pleasure you felt, “oh God!” you moaned out. your legs were threatening to close around nikas waist but she held them open. the way she thrusted in and out of you had your legs shaking after a few minutes of it.

while she was fucking you stupid and you were moaning her name she leaned down to your ear, “you’re such a slut for me.” her words made you moan loud, it gave you butterflies and it made your urge to cum stronger. she loved your reaction to this so she said something else, “who do you belong to?” this sent way over the edge, “yours, i’m all- oh, y-yours.” you were trying hard to not stutter and moan while talking but it was not easy, “yes baby, that’s right. you are all mine.” she reassured you, the pet name was your last straw, you came all over her strap. she helped you ride out your orgasm before pulling out and taking the strap off and setting it on top of you. she went to get another towel the wipe the strap snd you down.

“nika.” you called to her, “hm?” she replied as she was putting the strap back in the box. “let me please you, i want to make you feel good.” you told her while you stare at her, she smiled at this and replied with “sure, i’ll help you if you need it.” she said as you guys traded places. you got on you knees in front of her and removed her panties, she automatically spread her legs for you. you looked up at her, “im sorry if i fuck up.” you say as you start to suck on her clit. “damn, y/n i thought you didn’t know what you were doing.” she whimpered, “i don’t.” you replied from in between her. you added a finger in snd plunged in and out of her, she took your hand and made you add another finger, the amount of please was over whelming and she was a moaning mess. “fuck!” she moaned as her legs closed around your head, you pry her legs back open with one hand. you started to suck harder and finger her faster, she pushed your head down into her pussy. she was moaning loud and cussing, some words in english some in croatian.

“oh, y/n i’m cumming.” she informed you while her legs were shaking, “do it.” just as you said those words she came in your mouth and you licked all of it. while you got off your knees she walked to the bathroom to clean up, you followed her and helped her.

-

you guys were both getting dressed when she sat next to you, “so, what are we?” you asked her. “y/n, will you be my girlfriend?” she asked you, “yes nika i will.” you smiled and kissed her.

you both spent the rest of the night cuddling, watching movies, and more. you were happy you came over after your realization or none of this would’ve happened.

==================================

i’m so so so so so sorry this took so long to get out but i hope you enjoyed!! also id like to clarify the strap nika used was NOT used on anyone else but anyway i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋

[onlymingyus]

hello, mars <3 sorry i'm late ueueue i hope hard hours r still open TT

since u had wine night, i thought abt how tipsy gyu just wouldn't be able to get his hands off of u, esp when his inhibitions are all but stripped !! u're still somewhat sober urself, so u find it kind of adorable how needy he's being :3c

bonus if u end up caving and sitting on his face jus bc he wants a taste so badly! hehe anyways ily & ur writing sm, i hope u're having a nice day <3

Kai, my love, I am sorry this is late and not actually being answered during a hard hours anymore more but...I saw this tonight and had the inspiration to write about it. I hope you don't mind.

c/w; kim mingyu x reader -- mentions a pussy, eating out, drinking alcohol, groping, mingyu lifts/carries the reader

Hi loves! Just a quick interruption -- Please check out How to Support Me. I would really appreciate that so that I can continue to hang out with you guys here and create content regularly ♥

Mingyu whines leaning over you shoulder as the two of you walk inside of the house. You had been the DD so he had allowed himself to indulge in a few drinks while the two of you had been out with friends.

He was clingy on a good day but, after a night of drinks, Mingyu couldn't keep his hands off of you. You laugh feeling Mingyu's lips press to the side of your neck before he mutters about how pretty you are. His words weren't slurred, he hadn't had so much to drink that he didn't know what he was doing but you still tried to keep him in check.

"It's bed time, lover boy."

Shaking his head no, Mingyu moves around you pulling at your jacket to pull you closer to him. You watch how his nose scrunches up so cutely as he argues with you.

"It's not. It's not even Midnight. It's time...to make out and then you can sit on my face. Or we skip the making out and do that after you sit on my face. I wanna eat your pussy so fucking bad right now."

Swallowing hard, you have to laugh at how blunt Mingyu is when he is tipsy. It wasn't that he usually minced his words when it came to what he wanted in the bedroom but there was usually a little bit more lead up.

"You have been drinking, you need a shower and to lay down. You don't need me to sit on your face."

You listen to your 6'2" boyfriend whine loudly, his feet stomping in protest causing you to lean your head back as you smile at how impossibly adorable he is. To be so large he acted like this when he wanted something so badly.

Seeing your neck open to him, Mingyu grins and takes his chance pulling you in with one arm using the other to grope at your ass as his lips press to your throat. He speaks between opened mouth kisses that cause you to lose any fight you once had.

"You don't have to do a thing. I'll be such a good boy for you. Fuck, baby, you smell so good. Please? I'll lay on the bed and you can just sit down right over my face, let me do all the work."

Mingyu's nose nudging under your ear as he speaks out his last words, his hand pulling at your thigh right under your ass. You finally nod and the man grins against your neck. With a squeak you find yourself over Mingyu's shoulder, looking down at his back as he walks to the bedroom.

"This is ridiculous. I can walk. You are acting like a cave man."

Grinning still, Mingyu lowers you on to the bed crawling over you to claim your lips once before speaking again.

"Mm, well I'm hungry."

[keysmashingfantasies]

Hi hi. I’m not sure if you do request like this and this isn’t detailed or anything so I get if you don’t want to but like could I request something smut chishiya? Maybe him and reader are friends and get into an argument about their feelings for each other and they end up having really romantic love making and confess to each other or something. Probably makes like zero sense sorry.

i do requests like this, yes! just bear with me because i am not the most skilled smut writer but i am absolutely open to writing it, ask away! and it makes perfect sense, don't worry! also, i assumed you wanted fem!bodied reader but since you didn't specify, i didn't. so hopefully i think everyone can read. this is so fucking long i'm sorry. was it good? i don't think so, no. is it the best i could do? absolutely. enjoy!

ok, content warning/this fic contains: sexy times, non descriptive penetrative sex as a way to keep this as inclusive as possible, no body descriptions for reader, unprotected sex (not good! don't do this!), chishiya being vulnerable (or, as the kids call it, a bit subby), a smidge of angst at the beginning, probably kind of shitty aftercare bc i don't know how and i'm going off of vibes. absolutely not proofread so most likely grammar mistakes.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST OR I'LL CALL YOUR MOM!!!

"What do you mean? I'm being careless by talking to people?", you exclaimed. Chishiya was being more and more unreasonable lately. You knew he thought you were gullible and naive, and you suspected that's why he decided to get closer to you; who'd suspect you, after all? You weren't all that wide eyed ingenue, you just believed that people could still be good in this world. Kuina shared the same belief, and he wasn't nagging on her like he did with you.

"Of course you can! But not so much to make yourself vulnerable to threats! What are you doing, cozying up to someone you don't even know during a game?", his tone raised the slightest bit, what was already a lot for Chishiya. He may have been acting unreasonably but he knew what he was saying had reason. Chishiya had feelings for you, and once he got to know you the desire to protect you only grew. He knew that you were selfless to the point of bordering stupidity, and would sacrifice yourself for someone. What made Chishiya's heart clench even more is that you'd sacrifice for him given the chance. Without even thinking. The flame of his anger was fanned at the thought that someone may have used your good will to trick you into dying in their place if he wasn't around.

"I wasn't cozying up! I was talking to a teammate! On a game of clubs! You know, one of those we depend on other people to live?", you said, exasperated. You took a calming breath and sighed. "You know what, think what you want of me. I'm tired, I don't want to fight", you started to pace around, something you often did to release anxious energy after a game.

"We're not fighting. We're having a conversation", Chishiya deadpanned, raising his eyebrows when you turned to look at him.

"A conversation of you laying it thick the implication that I'm some dumb thing with stars in my eyes? That I can let anyone trick me into sacrifice?", you said, and his eyes darted across the room, avoiding your eyes. Red-handed. "Chishiya, listen to me", you sat besides him, taking his hand in yours. "I may still be a bit too hopeful of people sometimes. Everyone copes in their own way, right?", you earned yourself a dry chuckle. "But I am hopeful because of what I've seen. Yeah, there's death and sadness and betrayal but there's good things. Friendship and love. For every bad person there's a few good ones, I truly believe that. And don't worry about me. You and Kuina drilled in my brain to be street smart", you smiled. Now it was your turn to avoid his eyes. "The only person in this entire world that can trick me is you, Chishiya. I trust you wholeheartedly", you whispered, clenching his hand in yours tight but still refusing to turn your warm face towards his. He was your lifeline but made you mortified at the same time.

"I don't think you're dumb. I'm sorry if I came across that way. I wouldn't have made an ally out of you if I didn't trust your abilities. And... I wouldn't made a friend out of you if I thought you're stupid. I just didn't want to lose you, that's all", he said. "I trust you too. Wholeheartedly", he said, giving you one of his Monalisa smiles. Sutil enough he may not even be smiling at all.

"Not in the way I trust you. Not by far", you said, finally managing to gather yourself enough to look at him. You may die at any point, Chishiya was kind enough to remind you. So what if he didn't love you back? You had the right to say it and he had the right to know. Even if he scolded you for wearing your heart on your sleeve. Even if he betrayed you.

"Why do you say that?", he asked, frowning. Did you know believe him? After all this time, he thought he was opening up to you. That you saw something more inside of him, the optimism, the sliver of hope he kept hidden for emergencies and you.

"Because I love you. And I trust you. Blindly", you said after being in silence for a while, and the atmosphere of the room shifted. You could feel the hairs in your body standing in attention, the room felt colder, the air felt heavy and sticky when you breathed in and you thought that if you took a deep breath like you've been dying to, you'd choke. You could hear a pin drop. And Chishiya was still as a statue.

It happened in a blink of an eye. Chishiya was tense, his lips pressed against yours and shoulders almost up to his ears, like someone had pushed him into you and he was still trying to process it. You had your eyes wide open, looking around the room, hands up like someone was pointing a gun at you, not knowing where to place them. For a few seconds it was like this, until something clicked. Chishiya kissed you. Chishiya was kissing you. You parted for a second before looking into each other's eyes, bewildered like you had been possessed. And then you kissed him.

This was much more like an actual kiss. It was soft, slow, steady. You cupped his face between your hands and got up on your knees to get closer to him, his hands snaking their way up to your waist. Soon enough, you had to breathe, breaking apart just enough for your mouths to disconnect but staying close. Neither of you thought you could let each other go after what you knew it was about to transpire.

"Chishiya... I...", you were breathless, you brain had turned to mush and you couldn't speak, and Chishiya took the opportunity to kiss you yet again.

You could've been kissing for ages. The games might've been over, everyone dead, the land completely taken over by vegetation at this point. But you were still kissing Chishiya, slow and deep, melting and molding into his arms, straddling his lap. Not letting your hands leave him not for a second, as he did with you. Your hands were on his face, his on your waist. His hands moved up your back, yours into his hair. Your hands on his chest, his in yours.

The kisses started growing hot and sloppy. You needed each other bad. So when Chishiya pulled apart to catch his breath and you couldn't stay away from him, you started to kiss down his neck, hands pulling off his hoodie off like it was offending you, desperately mouthing at the parts of his collarbones and chest not covered by his shirt. And the sounds were driving you insane. The little sighs and moans made you want to beg him to fuck you already but you decided to contain yourself. You wanted him to feel appreciated. Loved.

"Ah... That's good", he whispered, and when you parted from his neck to see his head thrown back, his mouth slightly opened, eyes half lidded like he was intoxicated, you couldn't help but to slip your tongue into his mouth yet again, shifting your hips against his slightly, making you both moan in each other's mouths. "Can I undress you?", he asked between pecks on your lips, and you nodded so hard you made yourself dizzy. "No, no. I need to hear you say it", he said, stopping to look at you looking at him. How you were still bashful at a situation like this he couldn't figure out for the life of him, but he gave you a low chuckle when you hid your face in his neck, only to shiver after feeling your teeth pressed against his pulse point. If the room wasn't so quiet he wouldn't be able to hear the small "Please, Chishiya, undress me" that followed.

His hands were fast as they were precise and in no time you were fully naked in his lap, kissing him like your life depended on it. Your hands made your way down his chest, getting to the hem and making their way up again, now under the fabric, lifting it up and off of his torso, breaking the kiss just long enough to pull it over his head.

You proceeded to kiss every newly discovered inch of his warm skin. From his fingertips, up his arms, his shoulders, nipping and sucking and licking down his chest, over his sensitive nipples, down his stomach and the soft trail of hair that dissapeared under the waistband of his pants.

"Y/N...", he sighed, hand coming up under your chin to pull you off of obsessively mouthing him over his pants. "Y/N...", he sighed yet again when you came up, making eye contact with him and giving him a peck on the lips.

"Can I finish undressing you, Chishiya? Please?", you were desperate, and Chishiya hissed at the thought of what was to come. How could he hold back when you were so sweet, so beautiful, so eager, looking at him like he painted the sky midnight blue and hung the moon and stars up there?

"Yes. Yes, please", he breathed. You touched your forehead to his, fiddling with the ties of his loose pants. Meanwhile, he pressed two of his fingers to your lips, slowly but surely shoving them inside your warm and wet mouth. As you sucked them, you started to pull his pants and underwear down his slim hips, and he lifted his hips to aid you.

Soon enough, you were both naked, you straddling his thighs. There was nothing in between you anymore. He took his fingers off of your mouth as you looked down to take him in, all the parts hidden that you'd been fantasizing about. His chest with a bit of hair, now covered in red splotches from your sucking, his stomach and happy trail covered in love bites, his pale hairy legs, his cock that now slapped against his stomach, not too long but just enough to make your mouth water, with a leaking pink tip, girthy and veiny, nestled in his pubes, his balls hanging low, filled with cum.

"Chishiya, you're so beautiful", you moaned in pure agony. His body, the way he was looking up at you so reverently; he looked like an angel. He wasted no time in using his fingers lubed by your spit to start prepping you, carefully but firmly shoving them inside of you, finger fucking you in efforts to find that sweet spot inside of you.

"You're beautiful too. Ah, that's it, take my fingers inside you", he moaned as you started to move your hips in tandem with his hand. You slowly started to play with his balls, earning yourself a low groan.

"Chishiya. Chishiya", you moaned, convulsing when he managed to graze what he was looking for. "I'm going to- ah! Kiss me, please", he placed his hand in the back of your neck and pulled you to him, his tongue messily meeting yours while you mewled into his mouth and you shivered from your orgasm.

You only parted after you finished riding out your orgasm, after your lungs were burning, and you felt weak and feverish. You looked into his eyes for a little while and Chishiya opened his mouth to speak, only to come up with nothing but shallow gasps and a smile. His heart jumped when you smiled back.

"Chishiya, make love to me, please", he'd think you were in pain if it wasn't your smile. The way you were looking at him.

"Of course", he said, laying you down on the floor on your back, parting your knees, taking a moment to just look at you, making you feel shy. "You're so gorgeous. Are you ready for me?", he asked.

"Yes!", you moaned. You couldn't believe this was happening. Not in the Borderlands of all places.

Slowly, he started to put it inside of you, and the stretch of him was amazing. You blindly reached for one of his hands that was bracketing your head, him holding the back of it to his lips for a second before continuing.

"Almost there. Are you ok? Fuck. Does it hurt?", he said. He wanted nothing more than to fuck you into the floor but he wanted to be gentle with you. Wanted to see you fall apart slowly for him.

"Ah... You're amazing. It feels amazing", you sighed, dreamily; you never felt so full in your entire life, it was an all encompassing feeling, you couldn't do anything but to lay there and feel him inside you. Your eyes meeting his with another dazzling smile, and he almost came on the spot.

"Ah, ah!", he bottomed out inside of you and he couldn't believe how warm and wet you were. "So good...", he started to grind his hips into yours, not really pulling out. He couldn't pull away from you right now, not when you felt so good.

The both of you were in a frenzy, hips grinding into each other desperately, the both of you sweaty and moaning. One of you hands was tightly clasped in one of Chishiya's, the other with their nails deep into the skin of his shoulder, the other hand of Chishiya was gripping your tigh, his arm wrapped around it. Your mouth was open in ecstacy, moaning like an animal in heat. Chishiya didn't know where to place his mouth. Dragging across yours, on your neck, your shoulders, your collarbones, down your chest.

"Chishiya, Chishiya, Chishiya", you wanted to let him know you were about to cum, but your mind was numb and the only thing you could say was his name over and over.

"Are you close?", he breathed out and you nodded feverishly. "Me too. Will you cum with me?", he moaned and it was the most beautiful sound you heard in your life. You didn't stand a chance, clenching around him with a desperate cry of his name while he pressed his hips to yours, pumping you full of his cum.

It felt like you both were locked together, standing still against each other like a statue for ages. You didn't know how long until your soul returned to your body but when it did, you knew yours and his were intertwined. "Hi", you breathed, and he smiled. Not a quirk of his lips, a full fledged smile, teeth and all. "I should clean you up", he said, using his shirt to clean the cum seeping out of you, being mindful of how sensitive you were. "Hurts?", he asked. "No, I'm fine", you said. After dressing you and himself, discarding the shirt and zipping his hoodie with nothing underneath, he held you to his chest.

"I believe there's good in this world too", he said.

"Hm?", you asked, sleepy, your cheek pressed against his chest, with his arms around you.

"I believe there's good in the world too. Maybe less than you but I do. Believe that there's good out there. I'll go back with you, if we get lost I'll find you. And then I'll make love to you again, and hold you close, to remember that there's good in the real world too", he said. "I love you too", he said, squeezing you to him.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 13

welcome the the tenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. i was always yours (even before you knew it) by paladarns

Lance thought Keith was just an asshole. Lance has always thought of Keith as an asshole, all throughout traveling into space in a large mechanical lion, all throughout bonding moments. All throughout becoming closer as teammates and friends.

Even now, with his hands pinned above his head and Keith’s thighs straddling his waist, Lance thinks Keith is an asshole.

Lance had always thought he could see right through people, but now he’s starting to think he has a bad judgement of people.

---------- a fic in which keith is obvious and lance is a bit of a gay nervous wreck

takes place as if season 1 is the only season to exist but its now years later

so many things to love about this fic. so so many. so i am going to list them. a) secret relationship bc i love that shit and eat it up every time, b) ‘takes place as if season 1 is the only season to exist but its now years later’ -- paladarns my love thank you for this truly excellent description of where i write my fics like 80% of the time. c) keith has game, and d)  HE WAS ALWAYS KEITHS EVEN BEFORE HE KNEW IT IM SOBBING BEST TROPE BEST TROPE

2. Wake Up, Sleephyhead! by @transbakugou

Keith has never loved someone like he loves Lance. Lance is his sun, his stars, his happiness. Their hands fit together like they were created to do nothing but hold each other, and he fits perfectly inside of Lance's arms. But he can never let anyone find out how much he loves this boy, how wholly and endlessly. Who knows what the Galra would do with that kind of information?

One morning, the lie comes crashing down around them.

Maybe it won't be as bad as they feared.

i love gay whipped klance and truly every single fic that has ever been written based on a vine is truly amazing, this fic is no exception. also secret relationship lol i am a sucker

3. Something Secret by @kingswriting

It was funny at first. Their arguments became more banter than actual disagreements, yet the entire team continued to assume they were at each other’s throats.

And Lance knows they’re not. He is fully aware that every sharp word, every sly smirk, every heavy handed push, and everything in between is anything but malicious.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss the softer side of things.

Or, Lance and Keith are in a secret relationship, but honestly want to omit the 'secret' part.

okay u can always tell what tag im following obsessively at certain times lol. for yall i present yet another secret relationship fic. ahem. this one is cute! banter and flirting and misleading and kisses and GOD its so sweet

4. Things Held Sacred by yarrie

So maybe, just maybe, Pidge was right. Maybe, just maybe, Keith had shot himself in the foot with his first attempt at resolving the blanket-hogging situation, because now Lance seemed to think it was a game and the rules were: steal the blankets, get sex.

To be fair, Keith hadn't exactly been...dissuading him very well.

okay so heres how this works. every fic rec friday so far has been from a specific collection of mine called ‘rereadables’, which was literally started because of this fic. i dont even know what specific part of this fic gets to me so hard, but you know when you read something that makes your stomach go all swoopy? and you can’t stop smiling? thats this fic! i remember i finished it for the first time and then i scrolled right back up to the top and read it again, then again, and again. like i cannot get over this fic. it gives me butterflies every time

5. Communication is key, they say by @ellana17

They already had communication issues before… Or: a malfunction with a healing pod leaves Lance able to speak only Spanish for a few days.

the idea of lance getting stuck in spanish and then almost immediately using that to flirt with keith without him knowing. like. i love that SO much that is quite possibly one of the funniest concepts to exist

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[j2zara]

Hiiiiii~ 2, 4, 7, 10, 22, 24, 30 for the fic writer game! 💖

Hiiiii friend! Sorry this took all day my brain is dead rn

2. a character whose POV you’re currently exploring

Lol i'm banging my head against the wall getting killed by LJ3porter fic so i'm like. Right in Girlfail Ellie J4 POV hell rn!!!! She's so fun and i do think writing for her is both easy and hard in that i enjoy doing it (and tbh i think i default to her pov usually when im in LJ3 mode) but i worry i make her way too sopping wet and pathetic. Which she can be pathetic but i worry im going like. way too sad wattpad girl with her.

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

OK! I've talked about a few different things before so i'm gonna. Well. I'm two sentences into twelfth night j2 being sent to pursue Jace on Porter's behalf fic so i feel like that counts as "not written yet." I also talk about how. I think doing a reincarnation au for LJ3 or the clones in general would be so fun. i'm not sure what kind tho, the version in which they're all new teachers at aguefort is so fun and kinda stuck in my brain now. Plus i wanna write Barbarian teacher Tiefling!Ellie x Sorcerer teacher Aasimar!J3 like so so so so bad i think it would be such a funny way to have them never escaping the torment nexus. I also think it would be fun to write something abt LJ3 in their friends with benefits era. Or maybe one of their more official "date nights". I think if they got into doing roleplay in the bedroom is would be so so so so so so fucking funny. Like. Pretending the other is stranger they picked up at the bar or something.

7. your preferred writing fonts

Tbh i kinda would like to find a perfect writing font? I tend to default Arial and it doesn't look perfect its honestly kinda offputting but. my strategy is. When I feel like my writing looks so so so busted i switch to Verdana which is closer to the ao3 font so i can better visualize how it's gonna look. And that helps a bit. Idk im sick.

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

That's a good question. Actually? A couple years i think? I abandoned my old talentswap for a couple years before picking it up again in college. (tbh my current ch 3.3 is STILL unfinished so i abandoned it again). Tbh i'm not good at letting drafts rest and returning back to them. I either try to power through or end up abandoning it which i don't love

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

I try not to but like. Yeah. I'm stressed basically every time. I joke that when i write original fiction that i have a hoard of angry twitter pearlclutchers that live in my head ready to rip everything i do to shreds but i try not to listen to them. But i'm worried every time. This has nothing to do with how i feel about you guys tbh i wildly underestimate your guys kindness and goodwill just bc im very hard on myself

I was anxious abt IYWD (I was worried it was gonna come across as too soft or too apologetic). I was anxious that nobody would take to Dyke!Jace/Zara in Who Can Blame a Girl, or i wouldn't be able to sell it

I probably MOST anxious of all about Almost (I was SO stressed that ppl were not gonna vibe at all with Bluejay or not gel with the whole "what if the clones were actual characters" , "born to love porter cliffbreaker, forced to do menial tasks for jaceprime" etc etc thought experiment. and i was so so so so so so scared about dropping the nickname Bluejay i was worried it was gonna be completely stupid and i was completely off the mark)

I was anxious abt Biggest Lie (i was worried it wasn't hot enough or maybe too violent or that it was maybe too shamelessly just like. smut lol).

And after Almost i was probably second most anxious about Stay / Leave. It was just a wip i really struggled with and idk it was so.... insular i guess? b/c it was so niche and the wip ended up being SO LONG and kinda emotional and sappy? Like again i think i was having the same doubts i had abt j2 in which i was like what if i can't sell people on this relationship. What if i've failed to convey something sincere. (that one was crazy tho bc i really really really really tried to release it and not care what happened bc i knew only a handfull of ppl would read it and i really really really tried to be cool and for a while i was but it was just hard i was so nervous and i don't think it was anyones reaction is really was just my nerves that were putting me in such a bad and upset mood and then over the next day or two i. I made this joke earlier that like. I PROMISE and hope i'm not overinflating my ego when i say this like i'm perfectly aware that i just write silly smut online but it really was so so so so funny. to see everyone practically overnight be like.... wait. Are LJ3..... in love??? And now LJ3 is like such an integral part of clone lore.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

That's a good question bc i feel like. When i'm stuck in one medium i tend to just try and distract myself with another so when im bad at drawing i write and when im bad at writing i draw. But thats not exactly recharging. Tbh i do think i need to find better things in my routine that rejuvenate me i think i haven't been particularly good at treating myself well lately

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of

I'm cringe and usually will shill if you want divinity (you're gonna have to go through me) as one of my favorite things i've ever written. But im also extremely confident most of y'all have already read it. I'm very very hard on myself so i swing between thinking the things i make suck and also being like. Fairly proud of all of them.

But idk it was my first ambitious thing i wrote and FINISHED in a long time and honestly? I do think its slightly better than the rest bc the iterations are all reliant on the original so they're very intertextual and repetitive which isn't BAD but. The extra work it took to make IYWD work makes it feel different to me. There's a LOT of stuff in it that i'm proud of that i honestly kind of miss b/c Porter is so smitten for Jace in a way he hasn't been in things i've written in a long time. I'm a softy who likes when jaceporter are soft and kinda in love... sue me... And like. i always feel so self congratulatory talking about the Loving To the Point of Invention Detect Thoughts + Teleport but i really felt good about coming up with that. And i still like the flashbacks a lot. It always feels so embarrassing to admit that i like. Get emotional thinking about the flashback of them on the bed. Sometimes i tailor make a scene just for me. "I promise i'm never going to let anything happen to you ever again" "as a paladin or a barbarian" "both" is like. Such a scene just for me. And I think the ending is good too. "I'll take it. I'll take it all" just felt so. fitting. It's so him getting to hear himself say to porter "i'll take the thing with you that is broken and fucked and full of compromises even if it has to end". Sigh. Sometimes you're an english major and you agonize over being a good writer for like two decades and realize that you might not be as horrible as you think.

(For the record. i think if i were to rank what i've written for fantasy high from fav to least fave, i'd say IYWD, Biggest Lie, Stay / Leave, Who Can Blame a Girl, Almost, Tell Me How, and it feels weird to put Almost that low bc i do like it. Tbh i regret making it so short i think i could've pushed it further)

Anyway!!! This got long winded as hell. Thanks for the asks they were fun to do!

Send me Fic Writer Asks! / Here are the questions!

[harryconcepts]

part 80

plugrry noticing you're buying a lot more than usual, he starts to get a little worried that maybe you're not doing so well but he doesn't feel like you guys are close enough to ask you 😔 then one day you come over clearly really upset, your eyes are red and puffy and he's so concerned 😔 he's all "good to see you, sweet girl... you feeling okay?" and you rub your eyes and nod saying "I just need to sleep, can you give me double what i got last time?" and you see him hesitate, you say "please, you know i have the money just... just help me out" and he likes at you so gently saying "i don't- i don't know if that's the best idea" and you're all huffy and frustrated saying "why? it's fine I just need to sleep" and he says "yeah... i get that but you shouldn't be doing it like this, this isn't healthy" and the way he clearly cares so much about you makes your eyes water again😔you look down and say "I just have a lot going on right now I don't know" and he nods, moving to sit by you on the couch and he says "you could tell me about it?" and that's enough to have you really crying 😔 he wraps his arm around you kind of hesitantly but you lean into him right away so he pulls you closer 😔 he says "I don't know what's wrong, but it might feel a little better if you tell me" and you can tell he really wants to talk to you, he cares about you a lot more than you realized 😔

he gets so horny on vacation I know it 😋 he's alllllll over you constantly kissing you and pulling your dress straps down and dragging you to the bed 😋 saying "come on, let me make you cum" and you're giggling but he says "it's vacation it's the time to do fun relaxing things so just let me 😋😋😋"

the way Harry would be so good when you get a little anxious during sex .... like it's such a bare minimum thing but like he would be so respectful always putting you first and making sure you're comfortable before he does anything..... if you need to stop or slow down he's all "of course" moving his hands back to safe territory and reminding you to breathe..... he's good to keep going if you're up for it or stop for the night if that's what you need.... and if there's something specific you're worried about he'll give you as long as you need before you're ready to talk about it then he's all ears..... i just love him so bad i need him to be the one who pops my cherry

harry is so evil and mean when he's daddy... I will literally kay em ess he would pin your arms down and not let you touch until you beg enough and he would edge you over and over until you're crying then he would pout at you saying shit like "no reason to cry baby, you know I just like to play with you sometimes" and then get right back to teasing you I'm so horny rn 🤕🤕🤕

harry definitely loves trying new positions 😋 ofc he has a few favorites but sometimes he wants to do something new just to see how it feels 😋 he's obsessed with the faces you make when he hits a good spot and when he's deeper than usual he's so cocky about being able to make you feel so good 😋

being in Italy with harry and some friends 😁you're out to dinner with everyone and you're tucked into his side both so happy to be there and be together ☹️ some of his friends say a few words in Italian and harry knows you don't understand a single word so he leans closer and whispers in your ear what they're saying so you don't feel left out ☹️ once in a while he gets caught up in the conversation and that's totally fine but you're kind of confused with all the Italian thrown in so you lean into his side and kind of nudge him and he turns his head then realizes and he's all "sorry pretty girl" and quicky gets you all caught up ☹️ he never ever makes you feel embarrassed or gets annoyed for having to explain things he's just so happy you're there with him ☹️ and he secretly loves that he gets to do some translating for you bc it gives you an excuse to be snuggled close to him all night and have your own little conversations ☹️

harry definitely holds your hips down when he's going down on you 😁 he knows you get a little squirmy when he's making you feel good but he doesn't mind he has no problem grabbing you to keep you still 😁 shut up him smacking your thigh and making eye contact with you saying in a stern voice "hold still"... I've been struck by the horniness disease because I'm thinking about ... him being so stern telling you to quit squirming and be good for him .... you're shaking your head saying you can't it's too much but he just says "i don't care, quit squirming around or I'm not letting you cum" 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

harry would be soooooo so good when you're crying 😭 he's all "what's the matter baby ☹️" and you're trying to talk but you're crying too hard for him to understand you so he's just shushing you gently wrapping his arms around you saying "it's okay, you're okay baby" ☹️ just holding you close and kissing your head to make sure you know he's there for you and he would give you as long as you need ☹️☹️☹️☹️

I'm thinking about how harry is always very concerned with making sure you're comfortable during sex...... asking how you want the lights and if you want your shirt on or off and asking where he can touch and making sure you're feeling good ...... every time he tries something new he's all "that feel nice for my pretty girl?" but he doesn't make you respond bc he knows it's kind of new and it's a lot .... just so focused on you the whole time ..... vomiting blood and choking on my tears

angel definitely makes aster turn her stuffed animals around before they bang bc she doesn't want them watching 😭🤕

harry would love that you're his passenger princess 😋 any time you're heading toward the driver's door he's like 🤨 I don't think so 🤨 and he puts a hand on your back to usher you to the passenger side 😋

harry would be sooo happy when you feel comfortable enough to start wearing more revealing clothes around him 😔 the first time you wear a tank top, he can see your tummy a little bit every time you move your arms and he's sooo obsessed but he doesn't say anything bc he knows you used to be a little insecure 😔 then a few days later when you've been dressing like that more around him he comes up to hug you from behind, his hands on your sides just barely touching the exposed skin and he murmurs into your shoulder "i like this" 😔

harry would be so good when you're sad ☹️ he comes home one day to find you crying in his bed, nothing crazy but there's some tears on your cheeks and you're sniffling a bit ☹️ he comes over and lays behind you, wrapping his arms around you without even saying anything ☹️ he just tucks you close to his body and moves so he can kiss your head ☹️ he says "I'm sorry you're sad" in a quiet voice and you just nod a little bit ☹️ he says "want to tell me what's wrong?" and you just say "no" with another sniff and he says "that's okay" and keeps rubbing your back gently ☹️ just holding you close letting you know he's there for whatever you need ☹️

i just want to be tickled by harry so bad 😟 he knows you've been stressed lately so he's all 😏😏😏😏 sitting on your hips while you're laying in bed and he just attacks you 😟 definitely holds your hands above your head with one of his to keep you somewhat still 😟 you're squirming and begging after like 10 seconds and he's laughing so hard at how desperate you are 😟 I think he goes with light teasing touches bc he knows it drives you absolutely insane 😟 you're trying so hard to curl in on yourself to keep him awayyyyy from the sensitive spots but he's a lot stronger than you 😟 and he knows you get off on seeing how strong he is so he makes a point to show how easy is it to hold you down 😟 he would be merciless bc he loves your little scream laugh and you won't admit it but you love it when he tickles you 😟😟😟

anyways I'm in the mood to inflict more damage so I think he would be evil evil evil and laugh with you while he's tickling you 😁 and he would be all "you want me to stop? you don't want me to stop look how much you're laughing? I think you love this😌" and you're laughing hysterically and can't say anything 😁 he's all "just tell me to stop if you want me to stop!" knowing you can't talk at the moment 😁 you're squirming so much but he's soooo strong and he can keep you still 😁 I think he would go until there's little tears in your eyes bc you're laughing so hard 😁 then he would reach up and wipe them away pouting at you and saying "poor baby, it's just too much hm?" making you think he's going to give you a break but then he just goes right back to it 😁

being sooo grumpy with bestierry and he can't figure out what's wrong with you, all he knows is that you're always snapping at him and rolling your eyes and it's starting to bug him so one day he just says "what is wrong with you?" and you're like "excuse me???" and he just says "you've been in a bitchy mood for days now, what is the matter?" and you just huff and walk to your room but ofc he follows you 😌 you try to shut the door before he gets in but he stops you ofc and walks right in behind you 😌 you flop down on your bed and stare at the ceiling and he lays down right next to you 😌 you're not talking so he says "is it... school?" and you ignore him so he keeps trying, saying "work?" and still you give him nothing so he says "friends? ...me? are you mad at me?" and you know he won't leave you alone so you sigh and say "it's orgasms, harry, I can't have an orgasm" and ofc this piques his interest immediately, he's propping himself up on his elbow to lean over you and look at your face and he's like "oh really?" and you ignore him still, so he just leans closer and says "is this a recent development?" and you snap "i don't know, how long have i been being a bitch?" and he's all "hmmm a while then" and you're so quick to tell him "shut up" bc he's very annoying but also 100% right 😌 then he's asking more questions saying "well what changed?" and you're like "i don't know, it's just that what I used to do doesn't... work for me anymore" and when you glance over he looks like he's thinking very hard 😌

he says "do you not have a vibrator?" and you reach behind you for a pillow to throw at him but ofc he catches it then says "answer me, I know you do... or I can just find out for myself?" and he's climbing over you to reach in your bedside table 😌 you nearly scream and try to get up to stop him but he just shoos your hand away saying "I'm just trying to help you stop attacking me!" and finally he finds it and holds it up 😌 out of your reach ofc so you can't grab it 😌 then he says "looks like a pretty robust little guy..." and he starts clicking through the settings 😌 he says "even with this you can't-" and you cut him off saying "no, i can't, now please leave me alone so I can kill myself so I never have to think about this conversation again" and he just rolls his eyes saying "you're so dramatic, and I'm being so nice to you" and you're all "oh really? how is this being nice?" and he says "because I'm offering to help you obviously" and you say "🙄this is not something to joke about I'm dying here🙄" and he's sooo offended saying "I'm not joking! I'll make you cum, you know you'll feel so much better after 😌" and it's just too much so you kick at him gently and say "get out of my room" but he's staring at you so intensely saying "tell me you don't want me and I'll leave" and then it goes quiet and you're just staring at each other 😌 you hesitantly say "you... you're not allowed to make fun of me" and his face drops into something so gentle and he says "i would never, ever, not about something like this" and you nod a little, then say "and you're never allowed to bring it up again" and he smirks saying "oh I don't think I'll be the one bringing it up, asking for more, begging for more-" and you kick him again bc you're starting to blush 😌

after a few more seconds of him just staring at you, you sigh and say "okay do it" and he's never looked more pleased in his life 😌 he leans close to your neck and you're backing away, saying "what are you doing? just use the vibrator and get on with it" and he's like 🙄

well that's your first problem 🙄 you're not supposed to just "get on with it" you're supposed to build it up and go slow, so you really want it 🙄 and you're a little hesitant but willing to take whatever he'll give you so you just go with it 😌 he's kissing on your neck, finding any tender spots he can to suck on and get you desperate 😌 he can still feel how tense you are under him so he murmurs "relax, it'll feel so much better if you just relax and let me take care of you" so you do just that and relax into the sheets 😌 he whispers "good, that's good, just let me worry about everything" and he's kissing on your collarbone 😌 you're trying so hard to stay quiet and he can tell so he says "i know you wanna make some noise for me, don't be shy I'd love to hear it" and that's not enough for you to completely let go but he does hear a few breathy moans and that's enough for him for now 😌 finally he reaches for the vibrator and says "ready?" and you're over his teasing so you say "just do it already" and he's all "gladly 😋" and presses it against you 😌 you let out a sharp moan and he's all "ohhh right there hm?" pressing it a little harder and you nod 😌 you're grabbing at his arm to keep him there and he uses his other hand to hold your waist, trying to keep you at least a little still 😌

he's telling you how pretty you look even though he's sure you're not listening, and he's trying different angles and amounts of pressure to see what really gets you 😌 finally he finds juuuuust the right spot and you gasp out "right there don't stop!" and he's watching the whole time as your jaw drops and your legs shake 😌 sooner than he'd like you're pushing his hand away and he quickly turns it off and throws it to the side, and he puts his hands on your waist so you have something solid to feel while you calm down 😌 he feels you relaxing slowly and his thumbs are stroking the skin on your tummy when he says quietly "was that okay?" and you nod, turning so you're kind of on your side kind of laying on him 😌 he's just playing with your hair waiting for your breathing to calm down while you keep your arm around him and he's never been happier 😌 finally he says "so I guess next time you're in a bad mood i know what to do 😁" and you're too relaxed and boneless to even try and kick him again 😌

but being all over harry after a show 😋 you're kissing him so hard and your hands are everywhere, he laughs a little and takes your hands to stop them saying "I'm all sweaty, i stink, let me shower quick" and you're like "mhm i know 😋" and he's not going to say no to you 😋

oh yes like asking him to tie you up 😋 you're so scared to ask but he knooooows you want something and he's gonna get you to ask for it 😋 he would edge you until you're desperate and then he would say "tell me what you want and I'll let you cum" 😋 finally you can't wait anymore so you just say it and his eyes light up and he's all "of course, wish you asked sooner" grabbing your hands to tie them to the headboard 😋 and he makes you cum just like that 😋

i think he would be so annoying saying "personally ive never had any complaints 😌" and you're like "oh really?" kind of rolling your eyes and he goes "I'll show you if you want 😌" then after he eats you out he's laying next to you watching you struggle to breathe and he's like "well? any complaints?" and even though you're on the verge of death you're like "idk tbh might need to try it again :/" and he's like "okay 😋" yanking your legs down so you're laying flat again and lifting them over his shoulders 😋

being at an expensive party with harry and his expensive friends 😋 he wants you on his lap so you're sitting sideways on him and he has one arm around your waist and the other holding his drink 😋 then he holds it up for you to sip, you do but he sees you make a face and he whispers in your ear "not sweet enough?" and you shake your head and he's very quick to flag someone and order you what he knows you like 😋 he's just keeping you close and you're whispering to each other all night 😋

okay I have to say something but I don't know how to say it tactfully so I'm just going to go for it 😋 harry definitely loves to tease you by rubbing his dick against you but not pushing in 😋 spreading your lips a little bit so he's all tucked between them and he can feel how warm and wet you are but he refuses to actually give you what you want 😋 just slooooowly running the head over you and using his other hand to hold your hips so you can't move and try to get more until you're whining 😋 he definitely bumps against your clit every few minutes to really get you desperate but he still wants to tease so when you gasp and buck your hips he's all "ah ah, be a good girl and be patient" 😋 your hips are fighting against his hold and he's all "want me to stop?" and you're so frustrated saying "no I just want you to-" and he cuts you off by pushing sooo deep inside 😋 then he's mocking you saying "oh yeah? I know your brain goes all dumb when I'm filling you up doesn't it" 😋 and if he was feeling really mean he would pull out again and keep teasing the same way 😋 sooo slow and controlled, making you feel every inch of him where you're so sensitive 😋 he loves to get you so worked up that you're begging him for anything he'll give you 😋🤕

Harry loves edging soooo much 🤕 he likes to tease you over and over being so sweet and letting you think he's about to make you cum but then he pulls away and pouts at you saying "poor thing, you really thought I'd let you that time hm?" just mocking you while you're shaking and near tears 🤕 he'll tease you for how wet you are and say "soaked through your panties didn't you? always such a messy girl, it's so easy to get you dripping" 🤕 even when he's going down on you using his thumbs to spread you open he says "your little pussy is clenching so hard, is that cause she wants to be filled? just needs me to fuck her so bad doesn't she?" just talking down to you making you blush bc he gets off on seeing you embarrassed and he knows it turns you on 🤭🤕

i just rlly love him teasing you about how you were worried he wouldn't fit.... tracing the head bumping against your clit to make you whine .... getting so smirky when you try to lift your hips and he says "ah ah, what did you just say? thought i remember you saying "please daddy it's too big, can't take it all the way" hm? wasn't that you who just said that?" and you're whining trying to lift your hips but he just holds you down 🤕 he even pushes on your lower stomach and says "this is how deep I'll be, think you can handle that?" and when you don't say anything he taps your jaw to get your attention and says "answer me, can my sweet girl take me all the way?" and you're nodding desperately saying "please, i promise I can i just want to feel it please" and he's just soooo smirky 🤕finally he pushes in but again just the tip and you're nearly crying but he's all "don't be a brat, I'm just trying to stretch your little pussy out so I don't hurt her" and he pouts at you whenever you whine 🤕 he keeps his hand on your tummy pressing down to make everything so much more sensitive and he's just sooooo so mean 🤕🤕🤕

he would be so good when you're sad 😔 holding you close and letting you cry, he wouldn't care that you were getting tears all over his shirt he would just do whatever he could to help 😔 telling you to breathe when you're crying too hard and making sure he keeps his breathing steady to help calm you at least a little 😔 he would give you as long as you need, rubbing your back and kissing your head 😔

[sinkableruby]

do you think Ougi could make friends with which Monogatari characters?

oh what a wonderful ask

you came to the right person for this

spoilers (up to amarimonogatari, as well as ougimonogatari but you can skip them if you want) (none of the spoilers except the ones for ougimonogatari are specific i should mention, and even those ones are very minor. you should have read at least musubi id say)

hmm i have no ranking so i will go through them

i think they could be friends with nadeko (in fact i am writing a short fic about that that i will release eventually, probably after my next big fic). (! also some general spoilers for amari for this part !) i say this because nadekos on a path to become an oddity specialist, has met ougi a few times, and also (perhaps most importantly) gets along with yotsugi very well. i think yotsugi and nadeko's friendship is so sweet (the artist and the artist's modeling figurine...) but it makes me think that nadeko would have insight into an oddity's perspective (not to mention that she's Been an oddity) that would make her a candidate for friendship with ougi. like she could definitely handle ougi's chaoticness and i think it'd be a very fun dynamic between the two where nadeko wouldnt yield to or get pushed around by ougi. she'll always have a bit of darkness in her heart and ougi would probably appreciate that lol. not to mention ougi likes her manga and i cant articulate it but this is a crucial factor. like i think as of nademonogatari it couldnt happen, but as time goes on, like a long amount of time i think theres a possibility. itd probably always be a little shaky given their history but given all the changes i just mentioned i think it could happen eventually.

oh this is an aside, but ougi cant be friends with araragi. its not possible. its like. its like if youre already maxed out closeness with someone you cant just go redefining that relationship its already done. ougi and araragi start out with their social links maxed theyre the closest they could possibly be so they can only stay there or drift apart (which they do. which is a good thing). on that note i think they could be friends if they weren't the same person because they would actually be able to get closer and define the relationship instead of having the preset filled out which is also also something i am writing a (longer) fic about for a human/college au type thing

now with kanbaru i think it is possible even in canon. with araragi, not only would i say its bad for ougi to stay attached to him and for him to stay attached to them, but i would also say he's kind of cold and like. tries to avoid them lol. which ig makes sense for him but like ouch dude dont be such a stranger that was literally you once dont act like theyre gonna ruin your life again just cause u said hi to them damn. on the other hand kanbaru we learn in musubi does visit ougi and actually maintains the relationship (she was always more social than araragi anyway). we know what their relationship is like already its ougi torturing kanbaru and just being the funniest little fellow so theres not much to comment on here.

now theres an interesting tidbit in ougimonogatari (you can skip this part if you want but its not major) where hachikuji gets info on the current mystery from ougi, who gets lost at midnight to talk to her, and its implied that theyre close. i love the idea of this friendship between them it sounds really chill. its also implied that ougi is a night owl so i can imagine like them wandering around in the mystical late night/early morning hours and chatting with the local god. and i think they would even have a much different dynamic from araragi's dynamic with hachikuji, bc araragi only sees her when hes lost and so there's an element of hachikuji offering advice that defines their relationship, but i think this would be different in ougis relationship with hachikuji (esp considering they seem to just. get lost on purpose. which idk how that works but cool). if anything, ougi would probably help with protecting the town, pointing out things for hachikuji to watch out for, and then it would probably turn into pleasant conversation from there. i imagine hachikuji would want to check in on them as the god of the town (and as a friend, and just bc shes kind like that), and hachikuji could talk philosophy with ougi and offer her own perspective on things. in that sense it becomes a friendship where they r both trying to help each other. also since hachikuji still cant be seen by people who arent lost (i think this is confirmed in musubi), i think she'd enjoy talking to someone without feeling bad about knowing they were in some kind of bind or struggle. itd be less stressful for her i imagine. so yeah i think theyd just have a mutual help thing that would also include fun chill conversations for the both of them.

yotsugi and ougi... i think it depends a lot on how they meet, what point they meet at, and like. yotsugis mood. bc even with nadeko yotsugi sometimes says theyre not friends and sometimes says theyre besties. shes just like that so i dont think they could ever truly (or i guess, Always) be friends just bc yotsugi consistently is inconsistent. at the same time, ougi is also consistently inconsistent albeit in slightly more consistent ways, they are both kind of toxic, they both give off uncanny impressions (in the theoretical freudian/uncanny valley sense where ononoki is a corpse doll and ougi is just. clearly inhuman in some way but you cant put your finger on how exactly), and they both have the same oddity mindset of "functioning," as a tool in yotsugi's case (she says it a lot in amarimonogatari) or towards a purpose in ougi's case (she says it in owari ge and just. you can tell from how they talk that thats how theyre framing things). so itd be cool bc they have a lot in common... but also, because they both have in common a very work-oriented mindset they might not like. actually develop the friendship outside of like very coincidentally doing a job together for whatever reason (smh at these two girlbosses). i think if they did become friends theyd diss other people together LOL gossip crew. i dont think the friendship is that likely honestly theyre much much more likely to just tolerate each other but i guess you could see their similarities as more proof for why i think ougi and nadeko could be friends lol.

ougi and tsukihi!!!!! yes!!!!!!!!!!! yes yes yes yes yes yes i love it!!!! i want to see it!!!!!!! they have a nice conversation in ougi dark as well as an audio commentary together... what i like about it so much is that tsukihi is so unstoppable and good at putting people off balance that ougi cant completely evade it with their evasion techniques. even ougi can be forced to play the straight man when faced with tsukihi lol. tsukihi is a force of nature, and ougi is also fond of this about her. and tsukihi kind of respects ougi as well from what we get in ougi dark (again light novels) so they have positive regard towards each other and lots of potential for a good friendship i think. what sticks out to me is that in ougi dark i imagine ougi is probably aware before she tries to ahem do a bit of trolling on tsukihi that its not going to be successful because araragi wont see her as anything but his sister. so suddenly it feels like way more of an intimate thing there where ougi is just sorta talkin about stuff before she (presumably in her mind at least) goes to her death. like that whole scene is so cool because ougis strategy for sort-of-not-really-exterminating-tsukihi is kinda partly criticizing her but more than that relating to her (as they both have the same kind of 'false identity') and opening herself up to her a bit... and besides like. the last episode of ougi dark lol, its the biggest moment of vulnerability we see ougi in (and she is willingly putting herself in it instead of being so mysterious as always), and its something that tsukihi also sees! (and doesnt rly know what to do with, which is also kinda interesting to me because shes such a self assured person) and that feels like it could lead to smth really interesting later. and in that scene it really does feel like theyre just kinda enjoying each others company esp on the bike, its calm and quiet and relaxed. i feel like after ougi has separated from araragi some more is when they could have a really nice friendship with tsukihi. back to their dynamics, i think it would sometimes be just very lowkey like in ougi dark which seems rather uncommon for someone like tsukihi, like ougi would bring up interesting topics of discussions and they'd have little mini debates about it that would really be more like chill discussions and itd be nice. and then other times it would be like tsukihi is screaming and all and dragging ougi somewhere to do something with her lol. they have a nice understanding between them..... ah i love it sm. and not to mention they are both so good at fucking up peoples lives it'd be a bonding point b/w them tbh.

UGH SEE THIS IS THE SORT OF THING NISIOISIN SHOULD BE WRITING WHATS HE DOING??? "OUGI IS A SIDE CHARACTER" MY ASS THEYRE ONLY A SIDE CHARACTER BC YOURE MAKING THEM BE THAT WAY GIVE THEM MORE CAMEOS DAMNIT AGH BEING RELEGATED TO THE SIDE DOESNT HAVE TO BE THE END ALL BE ALL SMH SMH........ at least i can write fanfiction instead

thank you for this ask highlight of my day dropped everything to answer it

[lilacandladybugs]

Hi Lilac!!

I know you’ve said stuff about being able to ask abt your stance on God and religion before and I hope that’s still okay (if this is smth you don’t want to answer, I take absolutely no offense to that and don’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable). I’ve recently been not in church and I think it’s kind of been for the better? (My church has become a mega church over the years and I’m really not about that, and also I grew up in youth group which I think had its own issues). Anyway, I’m glad for the separation, but I feel like I kind of don’t know what to do with my faith outside of the church setting? I was wondering what you do to practice religion without attending church or like, how you maintain that connection with your faith

Oh yeah! I took that out of my bio bc I have been off and on been having a really hard time and my religious trauma has been flaring up but I'm still active on @in-the-whisper occasionally. No worries about asking though, if I am too tired it will just dissolve into my ask box ;--; I do really like to talk about it though and this is something I've dealt with a lot!

I mean if you can find a church or a bible study that you feel safe in that's really ideal imo, but I have really bad religious trauma and haven't consistently attended church in.. like ~5 years. Which really upsets me but I'm just not in a position to attend right now w my mental health condition. But also I think not going to church is sometimes valuable. People are scared to say that but if going to church is actively harming you, or it is something that is obviously not bringing you closer to God, then yeah don't go and don't feel like a bad Christian for it. Rest :) it will be okay. That used to be really hard for me but I've mostly come to terms with it, idk it's still hard. But it's been healthier for me.

I kind of see God in everything. Sitting with my lneighbors cats by a pool, and watching the sunset, and talking to my friends are all expressions of the love of God. I've been having a hard time with God recently and go back and forth on how much I can handle but I used to have a really good habit of just saying a quiet thank you in my head whenever something like that happens and I think keeping an open line of prayer communication can be really healthy

I've found reading fantasy novels to bring me closer to God. A lot of fantasy has moral values that can help me at least start thinking about God if nothing else, they often make me remember why I believe in God in the first place. Namely that life is sacred and valuable and people are worth loving. Those are ideas that are represented in a lot of fantasy and that helps me think of God and pray.

This is going to sound weird but I have to be really careful with the Bible and praise and worship music bc both can be really heavy and bring up upsetting memories for me. If you can, I do recommend reading the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) and focus on Jesus' words because he is the clearest representation of God's character since he's like literally God. But the Bible is difficult to read by yourself and disconnected from the greater body of Christian literature that's built up over the centuries it can be hard to interpret. I have to save reading the Bible for times when I have the energy to dig in and research and ask hard questions. Psalms is easier bc it's poetry so you could probably also start there

I try to meet with friends and talk to them about God, if you have Christian friends or family you could have bible study with them, or just a time to visit and think about God.

I like Christian philosophy. Two of my favorites are GK Chesterton "Orthodoxy" and CS Lewis "Mere Christianity". Orthodoxy is kinda dense but Mere Christianity I find interesting and it just helps me think about God. I also sometimes like doing planned Bible studies but some are better than others. I did "Armor of God" by Priscilla Shrier a few years ago, I don't remember everything about it and I probably didn't entirely agree but I found it generally pretty good.

I listen to music about God that isn't praise and worship. I've been listening to a lot of half alive, my favorite is Creature which makes me feel like a believer. Here's a post with some song suggestions and a link to a playlist my sister and I made together. (x)

I think one danger of not having a church is a gap in theology, so if you have time or energy you can listen to podcasts on the Bible, church history, Biblical interpretation. If that's something you're interested in I can link to one I like, but I'll have to go find it (you can dm me about it ofc). The other danger is losing contact with Christians in general, so making sure you have Christians checking in on you or people to talk to is a good idea.

Lmk if that helps or if you have more questions, and I keep a list of my posts on my other blog so that might have some helpful resources too :)

[altruistic-meme]

twenty questions for fic writers

i got tagged by @irregularcollapse thank you!

How many works do you have on AO3?

currently, I'm at 33 on my main account and another 3 that are under a pseud :)

What’s your total AO3 word count?

166,992 in total!

What fandoms do you write for?

as of right now, i'd say i write for All For The Game, Captive Prince, and Young Royals. i have kind of written a little for Good Omens, but i'm not really counting it bc i'm not sure i'll ever finish it or post it. and i used to write for Yuri!!! On Ice and Hetalia as well, but i don't anymore (and likely never will again).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

oh man, i was actually kind of surprised about the last two!

the beginnings just another end (Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Yuri!!! On Ice) Victor Nikiforov has friends. He's four time world champion, figure skating god, beloved by most. He's won more medals than he knows what to do with, has more fans than anyone could count, and more money than he could ever possibly spend all of. Only one problem; Victor Nikiforov has no friends. So, he searches for some. And he finds them in a group chat room titled "crazy people talk about figure skating".

(why is there) joy in this poison (Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, All For the Game) Because for as much as Kevin would talk to Andrew about the Ravens, whine about Riko, warn him about Tetsuji, explain to him why he trusted Jean… he had never really mentioned Nathaniel. In a story, once or twice. In passing, perhaps a few times. And Andrew found that he trusted Nathaniel less each and every time he heard the name. Andrew is propositioned at a summer exy banquet, and a deal is proposed.

The Bet (Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, All For the Game) Andrew decides it's finally time to introduce his partner Neil to the Foxes on a summer weekend vacation, but Nicky has a better plan.

running from my heart (Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Yuri!!! On Ice) When Victor arrives the night before the men's short programs at the Grand Prix Final, he's not expecting to run into another skater. Or run into him again. Or again.

Vicchan's Pet Café (Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Yuri!!! On Ice) "It's alright, really. It allowed me to get a closer look at your gorgeous brown eyes." Wow. Wow Victor. Victor Nikiforov, five time Emmy Award winner, actor in countless romances, well-known playboy, just made the most ridiculous pick-up line that could have possibly come from that moment. In which Victor is an actor, Yuuri owns a café, and their dogs just want them to be together.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to, but i am incredibly bad at it :') i always want to reply, even if it's something small like just a "<3" or "thanks!" but i often forget to reply for a long time. or at all.

but i always try my absolute best to reply to comments with questions or any that really touch me in some way

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

in general, i do try not to write angsty endings (although i know i've had some ideas for some, just never written the)

however, that said, swaying as the room burned down is still the worst i've written! it does come with the knowledge that things get better, having been written as a missing scene from yr2 which ends better than the fic leaves off, but the fic itself still ends in a pretty sad place.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

honestly? Where There is Love, There is Life. the entire fic was meant to be pure fluff and sweetness. most of my fics have happy endings (when i actually. ended them.) and i do have some other fics that were meant to just be fluff, but i think this one takes the cake.

Do you get hate on fics?

no, i haven't! i've gotten some... sort of mean-spirited comments or comments that come across that way, but i don't think they were really meant as hate so much as the tone fell flat.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have not. yet. i have one WIP that will have smut at some point in it, but that's the only one i have planned and i haven't gotten to that point in writing it yet!

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not really. i think i did, a very long time ago, but i can't remember it at all.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of, and also i sure hope not.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i'm really aware of, but i think it'd be cool!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

that's tough. it's probably Andreil, though. just everything about their relationship, from beginning to end of the series, is so so good and they've always meant so much to me as characters.

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

the beginnings just another end. i really wish i could've finished it sooner. it was my first long fic, and it kept the status as my longest fic for years. i still remember how it was meant to end, too. ultimately, if i ever even write YOI again, i think i'd rather rewrite the entire story than just finish it as is. but i really don't think i'll ever complete it.

What are your writing strengths?

Cliffhangers. Dialogue. Humor, at least in my opinion. Ideas galore.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Consistency. i have terrible memory and will often write something in, planning to make use of it later in the story, and then completely forget about it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

ouhhhh it depends. my opinion on it has changed from when i was younger. i think it can add to the story, like if it's used because the POV character doesn't know the language, but in general i'd prefer not to do it (especially since i'm monolingual rip ;;;)

First fandom you wrote for?

ahhhhhhh Hetalia

Favorite fic you’ve written?

without a doubt, (why is there) joy in this poison. it means so much to me i cannot even begin to explain it. and even aside from that, the story itself is something i LOVE rereading since it was written to my own tastes, and every time i look back in the story to fact-check myself, i end up getting lost in the story again and again. it also makes me feel so good about my writing, it's such a confidence boost and rereading it helps me realize why people actually like my writing!

i'm going to tag @daylightsimon @zee-has-commitment-issues and @spaghett-onaplate for this if you guys want to <3

[kpophubb]

back to part II. 2:47am 🌙

Good morning Mia~~ rise N Shine sweetheart

I wish you a happy Tuesday 🥰

eat good and treat yourself kindly

See you flower ❣️ 🌹

~ 🐁

Hahah hello baby 😅🧡 just created an acc to write you a letter too, but OFC ME BEING ME, I forgot the password in a span of a few hours 💔 so I’ll just write you the reply letter here.

ꕺ♡ 💌 : ….𝕿𝖔 𝙼𝚈 нуυηวιη … ꕺ♡

♡….first of all, thank you so much for always leaving the sweetest messages for me to see right when I wake up in the morning. I hope you know I read your asks the first thing in the morning and they always leave me with a huge smile and a great start to the day. 💛

♡… aww thank you for saying that you will be there for me 🥺 I know you will🫶🏻 so don’t worry I’ll ofc run to my anonie if I feel bad ever and rant a lot but like you said, I’ll be okay so don’t worry love. You understand this thing I do, when you’re a people’s person you worry too much and get anxious when you enter a new place, worrying whether you will be able to fit in or not. Whether they’re gonna judge you for what you wear, do, say and whether they’re just gonna get you attached and turn out to be one of those people who always make you feel bitter at the end and leave. :( those are the kind of mixed emotions and fear I’m having now, bc personally speaking I’m really afraid of people irl and can’t maintain any sort of relationship that be friendship, family or romantic. And I’m also worried about my academic performance bc I’m not really talented or smart and struggle a lot with that. But I’ll be okay, cause I’m a strong girl 😤 ik after a few months I’ll be able to adjust and can take care of myself! I love spending time with me and at this point ik my self worth so well and what kind of people to give myself to, so there’s nth to grow afraid about!!

♡…soulmate best friend. Hmm. I can feel you as I always longed for one but at the end always got my heart broken by fake friends. But, I finally found my best friend and we’ve been friends since 4 years already and our understanding level and everything is too good to be true, I already feel like she’s my soulmate bff! 🫶🏻 I love her the most!! So that’s why it’s making me so sad that we’re moving to two different continents entirely and won’t be able to see or talk to eachother as much. Cause you know how hard long distance relationships can be..they fall weak and break over time and closer people replace you. And she’s someone I wouldn’t want to lose at all costs. Ofc I know we’re gonna make time for eachother and try our best to meet and call, but yet..some part of me is so scared it makes me feel super lonely. However, I know one thing for sure now that relationships are really about two things- effort & destiny. If a relationship is supposed to last, no force in the world can tear you away. And if it isn’t, no force can keep you together. Hence, I’ve left it all upto fate and am keeping my fingers crossed that nothing will ever change between us. 💔

♡… AH ANONIE there’s so much I’d love to tell you about myself and I’d love to show you pictures of the places I’ve been to and myself as well but I’m not very comfortable sharing my private life anywhere sadly✋🏻 :( bc our asks can be read by anyone here so..,, I’m hoping one day when we talk in private dms (If we do, no pressure so you can relax) then I’ll send you all the nice stuffs and you can get to know all about me that you want to. 💞

♡… and lol about the skincare! I was using this mask called the Chinese ginseng & rice mask by the body shop? I mostly use Thailand and Korean products on my face lol, they suit me more. (Esp thai products) 😛 I always buy a lot of skincare + body care and invest less in makeup bc makeup doesn’t really suit me much and I don’t like using it a lot. I prefer natural looks more 🫶🏻 what kind of products do you use anonie?? I’m curious!!

♡…about healing anonie. Healing takes time and can be really scary. Sometimes you feel like you take 2 steps forward with everything you’ve got but the next day you withdraw 10 steps backward and feel like you’ve lost it all. It’s okay love. Just hang in there and don’t overthink what’s to come in the future. Life is a cycle of happiness and sadness, if sadness comes so will the happiness and if happiness comes then the sadness is inevitable too. There’s nth to worry cause you can rest assured that if you cry, you will smile again for sure. And I’ll always obviously be here for you and give you my shoulder to cry on and try to cheer you up when you’re down. So you can always rely on me! ❤️

♡… aww you’re so hard working anon🥺 pls take proper rest as you need energy and good sleep and food if you need to work hard! I’m always acknowledging you and am proud of your steps even if they’re as trivial and little as going out of the bed every morning. I love you so much!! I’m not feeling my usual positive and happy self atm as I’m physically sick (period cramps + back pain and stomach aches) and also I seem to be crying and feeling like shit recently due to my period maybe idk but your texts and presence always cheer me up. I love you so much and thank you for everything, my hyunnie 💛

ꕺ♡ ….💌 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 ƒєℓιχ 🌤️ ꕺ♥︎

[☁️….𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲] ⇘

"I thank you for being born, stay." 💛

[spookyserenades]

i got some free time to talk about the last two chapters but I don’t remember them in detail. I usually re read the last one the day before you upload the new one so I remember but I’m blanking a lot bc life has been pretty hectic. I’ll point out the things that stood out in the last chapter and maybe some from the one b4 since I remember lots maybes

namjoon- we are getting so much more closer w him and it makes me so happy. He’s really starting to trust her and the stone he gave her 🥹 i squealed. Honestly y/n goes above and beyond for them cause she literally got him whole trailer back like wtf 😭 I assume this is his first birthday celebration because before during jk’s b day he was confused about the candle thing. And him loving sweets YAS 👏 he’s salty at first but sweet in the inside!

jin- im glad that he was able to share his trauma w y/n I feel so bad for all of them. They were trained all their lives to be abused and used. I hope we get to meet Jin’s friend and that she’s safe. Omg not Jin being shy when he was being praised for his looks when they went out to eat like 🥹 he is such a handsome boi.

yoongi- he’s trying to kill us fr that basket ball scene no like stop actually fr. They just know and understand each other. They literally can get each others signal in a snap 🫰 I assume they must’ve met b4 I just wonder how. He played basket ball near where she went to college so maybe then it went she went out to a bar. No but back to The basketball scene. The moment they win he LOOKED for HER. She RAN into his ARMS that a literal k drama scene right there holy shit. Omg I got so many butterflies cause that’s true loooove. I just cant- that scene was everything I don’t have anymore words periot ☺️

hobi- I think the shifting scene was the one before the recent chapter but I t’embêtes about it. Jin is so cute he loves little scratches it made me go uwu. Hobi and yoongi are such menaces fr omg. Like not them being naked in front of her and yoongi covering her eyes they’re such teased especially hobi. The whistle thing where he was self conscious about it but then she said she would be able to find him in a grocery store as a marker ahhhh 🥹 and then when she whistled at him when he won his race ahhh. He was caught up in his friends hugging him and then heard it from her and was shocked gosh it’s so cute it’s like their little thang. Him being buddy buddy w Alice is sweet but also y/nie is totally jelly fr. Cause her meeting all seven of them was in the making and she was already catching feels before but now that she knows she’s meant to be w all of em. The seeds~ Honestly tho Alice is charming enough and she’s kind where I don’t feel threatened by her but also at the same time I do. Ahhh it’s like not her fault but hobi eyes over HERE please. I’m so interested to see what happends if they Alice and hobi get together. Hobi didn’t want to mark her and really restraint himself and maybe it’s bc if the idea of sharing her w other people or bc he’s scared he’s gonna be abandoned or bc he wants that connect w someone else I dunno.

this is super long so I’m gonna make a separate post for the maknae like bc my phone can’t send it all. I still have the home button… im emotionally attached to it…

AHH HELLO MY LOVE I'VE MISSED YOU!! 🥺💜 I hope school has been going well for you and you've been taking lots of breaks and having some downtime for yourself. I can't wait to talk about the last few chapters (and the new one, later) with you! I'll go member by member like you.

Joonie - Ahhh Joon is warming up so well lately, isn't he? His birthday was a blast to write, and had me squealing the whole time. It has been kind of hard to keep him so grouchy all these chapters considering he's my main bias, but I think for the character development it is well worth it-- I hope you think so too. You're right, Y/N definitely goes all out for the hybrids on their birthday, I wonder if she'll spoil them for Christmas, too? Also, you're right again, that was probably Namjoon's first birthday celebration, maybe that's why he felt like he wanted to give her that moonstone. Adorable!

Seokjinnie - Truly, Jin might be my fave hybrid but also so is Yoongi. He's just a total sweetheart and so whipped for Y/N already. He did not deserve that horrible treatment from the circus, and honestly I hope in the future Y/N and Ben cook up a lawsuit and tear the company to shreds. Jin's friend... well, she'll make her comeback soon, don't you worry! As for him getting shy over Alice calling him handsome, I kind of took that from IRL Seokjin. He often calls himself handsome (as he should!!!) but gets bashful when others confirm this or compliment him themselves. I think it's super endearing! 🥰

Yoongi - No like Yoongi is such a menace bro!!! He's just constantly flirting with Y/N, doting on her, and they just get each other. It's super sweet, and I adore leopard Yoongi with all my heart fr. I've said it before, but they definitely have past life lovers vibes or something adjacent to that.... AH and the basketball scene its definitely a Kdrama scene in the making, I wanna be held like that by Yoongi so bad.... he just wanted to see his girl!! (Also... so hot lmao) 💀

Hoseok - The scene a couple of chapters ago where Seokjin and Hoseok shifted was so much fun to write, seriously. If I were Y/N, I'd want to be snuggling up to the shifted hybrids all day long. (Like, imagine getting to cozy up with friendly bear Tae? PLS) But Hoseok really is such a tease, especially when he didn't even warn Y/N about the fact that he'd be naked in front of her when he'd shift back-- lucky (or maybe unlucky, for some) that Yoongi covered her eyes. The whistle!!! I think he was touched/taken aback when Y/N whistled it back to him at his track meet. He probably never had someone else learn it and repeat it back to him, and it was a special moment to include in the last chapter. As for him and Alice... things will definitely get a little tricky with that as time goes on, and it do not blame Y/N for being jealous at all. Y/N loves Alice, but she certainly wouldn't be thrilled to see her with Hoseok... And when Hoseok scented her, you're right, he was holding back! I think that he likely was hesitant to scent her because he has some abandonment issues that he needs to work through. Y/N will help him for sure!

fdjajkf Loved these comments you had for all the hyungs!! I'll answer everything you've sent in for the maknaes, too, and thank you for sending me love and your wonderful thoughts!! 🩷

[uncloseted]

why don't people like me? why do people lose interest in me? i try really hard to make friends, be a good friend, invite people, and everything you're supposed to do? but nothing works, ive tried to have friends all my life.

Anonymous asked:

that makes me very sad but yeah i guess i will prepare for the end, and focus on forming other relationships with other people. it makes me sad bc im bad at finding people i click with and we were pretty close, i always lose close friends at the year mark unless we are very casual. my heart hurts a lot :( our last phone call i talked a bit about politics which i guess she didn't like but the call ended happily so i guess she changed her mind.

Anonymous asked:

when i meet people or call them they just don't like me anymore and stop wanting to be my friends.

Anonymous asked:

she told me i was her good friend and told me a lot of deep stuff and we were close and talked a lot and then last time i told her about my redheaded friend who wasnt friends anymore and everytime i tell someone about this they leave and this time we were close so idk why and i dont know what when wrong everyone leaves me at 1 year. i can never make friends and i can never make friends last unless i tell them im bad at socializing and then they just pity friend me

Anonymous asked:

no one wants to be my friend i try really hard now and ppl just dont like me very much and i try so hard and i am nice and polite and itnerested and no one liekd in school high school no one liked me why no one wants to be my friend

Anonymous asked:

Im having a hard time when I socialize with people, whenever it ends and I go home I always think "did I fail at that social interaction and make them like.me less?" Like I will keep track of how often they laugh or if they seem to have less energy than usual and I always assume they might like me less and not want to hang out with me again if I'm too quiet or unsure what to say. I feel like I'm not stimulating enough and it makes me worried I will lose people in my life because of it.

I think all of these are the same person. My apologies if I've grouped in some that aren't, but they're all kind of talking about a similar topic, so I wanted to answer them together.

Making and maintaining friendships can be really hard, and I think it's gotten even harder in the past few years since people were so isolated for so long. Without knowing any of you, I can't really guess as to why these friendships aren't working out. Sometimes, it's just that the people a person is trying to be friends with aren't the right people for them, whether that's because they don't share common interests or values, whether that's because they have trouble communicating, or whether that's just because they don't "click". That's not the problem of either party- it's just something that happens sometimes. Other times, people grow apart from one another or become closer to other people. That really sucks, too, but again, it's not something that any one person did wrong. It's just what happens sometimes.

Sometimes, a person makes the people around them feel awkward or uncomfortable, usually because they have trouble "reading the room". They might violate the expectations other people had for how a social interaction would go, accidentally cross personal boundaries, fixate on a specific topic of conversation, ask questions that are too personal for the relationship they have with the person they're talking to, have trouble empathizing with other people's points of view, have difficulty reading nonverbal social cues, just have trouble maintaining a conversation, or a thousand other things. That doesn't mean that that person will never have friends or that they can't have positive social interactions with other people. But it does mean that sometimes, those skills need to be learned or practiced, or that the person does best with friends who don't mind those quirks.

Other times, people have patterns in their friendships and relationships that they don't recognize, but that push people away from them. Needing constant reassurance about social interactions, being too clingy or smothering (in the context of whatever that means for the person), ignoring boundaries, being critical, controlling, dishonest, or selfish, gossiping or spreading rumors about a person, being inconsistent or flaky, making insensitive remarks, or a thousand other things can contribute to a person feeling like a friendship isn't for them, even if it seemed like it would be a great match at the start. Again, this doesn't mean that someone who struggles with these patterns will never have friends or that they can't have lasting friendships with other people. But it does mean that they may need to become aware of these patterns and work to change them so that the friendship can continue to grow.

It's also important to remember that it's okay not to be everyone's cup of tea. Our self-worth isn't dependent on the number of friends we have or what other people think of us; it's dependent on how much we like ourselves and can recognize our good qualities. And, somewhat paradoxically, I think that liking ourselves makes other people like us more, too. It sounds cliche, but one of the best things you can to do make friends is to be a friend to yourself first. And as long as you can find a few good friends who like you for who you are and care about you, it's not so important what other people think.

I hope this is at least a little bit helpful. Without knowing you or what your friendships are like, it's hard to guess at what's going wrong or what could be going better. But those are some common factors in why people may have difficulty making and maintaining friendships, even when they are really great people.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #089

(taken december 15th of last year; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Do you think you’re good enough for the person you like? Nope. He deserves someone more successful. And actually pretty.

Is this year the best year of your life? Nope. I still think 2017 was. Wild that it started with an OD... things change, man. Healing happens.

Is your current hair color your natural hair color? No. It's some mess of purple and like seaweed-green right now. I'm ready to get it fixed, IF things even go right this time... I feel bad for my poor hairdresser, she's completely legit and has decades of practice and skill and my hair confuses the hell outta her with how it reacts to and mostly rejects color.

Do you think your first love affects the way you go on with life? In MY case, it absolutely, very strongly did, but I have a feeling that's not the case with absolutely everyone.

Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? Yeah.

Who gives the best advice? I think Mazzy. They're just very wise and reasonable imo and can see so many angles of a situation and I just really respect their advice.

Do you have a lot of pictures of you and your friends? No. I hate having pictures taken of myself because I'm hideous but I'm trying to get over it honestly because I WANT pictures with people I love for when I'm old and want to look back.

Who do you usually see in your dreams? Honestly, a lot of the time, my nightmares involve people I don't or very barely know at all, it's really strange. Sometimes it's my mom, though, which is just as if not more odd because honestly I'm closer to her than I've ever been these days; I never have violent thoughts/urges against her in my conscious world. Jason also still kinda regularly shows up, though he's never been the subject of one of my violent nightmares, just normal painful dreams.

What was the weather like yesterday? It's been super cold and rainy the past few days.

Why did you last leave school early? Oh hell if I know, it's been years.

Do you know anybody in the military? I know OF people, but no one personally. I have a friend who I'm 99% sure WAS in the military but left because she hated it.

Who is your favorite animated character? Pyramid Head/Red Pyramid Thing from the SH franchise.

What’s your preferred salad dressing? What Olive Garden uses. I'm thankful you can buy it at Wal-Mart lmao.

Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver? I have a negative amount of interest in that.

Have you ever been diagnosed with anything unexpected, mental or physical illness? How did you finally find out? Ummmmm maybe? I'm quite sure nothing mental though because I've expected pretty much everything I've been diagnosed with.

Where do you like to sit when you’re on the computer? I only use the laptop on the desk in the spare room these days. Those years of living in my bed are pretty far behind me now, thank the actual fucking lord.

Does it ever bother you when you can’t remember all the details about a book you’ve read? YES!!!! This is actually why I'm considering re-reading The Outsiders. I still consider it one of my favorite books because I remember the impact it left on me, but I can remember almost nothing about it by this point.

Who was your favorite character in the last movie you watched? What about in the last book you read? Ummm I'm pretty sure that was The Secret Life of Pets, and looking up the character list (I'm not familiar enough with the names), probably Chloe because oh my god WHAT A CAT. I also like Gidget bc RELATABLE HUNNY

If you keep lists, what kind of topics do they cover? Heh... in my phone memos, I have lists of drawing ideas, ball python morphs + tarantula species I want, as WELL as other pets (mostly reptiles), future gift plans for Girt, tattoo ideas, and reasons to stay motivated and never give up.

Do you feel as though you’re good at understanding/communicating with animals? I definitely do.

What is the biggest decision you’ve made in the past year? Probably dropping Sara from my life.

If you could reconnect with someone from your past, who would it be and why? Megan. Because despite lying about so fucking much for pity and to be "cooler" or whatever the hell she thought, I just still feel like she was, at heart, a good person that very much cared about me like I did her, she just... had problems that by this age I would genuinely hope she fixed. I'll always remember talking on the phone for hours, staying up late texting, being there for each other... There was something about that friendship that has never been replicated since.

What movie/show "emotionally scarred" you as a kid? Fuckin Courage the Cowardly Dog. 😭 King Ramses can eat a dick and a half

How do you cheer up your best friend? I get extra affectionate when he's down.

When’s the next time you’ll be drinking? Zero idea. Maybe New Year's.

Last piercing you got and the next piercing you’re getting? Last one I got, tongue. I'm pretty sure I'm getting an industrial ear piercing next.

Who do you text the most? My mom.

What kind of car does your boyfriend have? I am absolutely horrible with cars, I have zero idea. It's pretty nice though, that and the fact it's either black or dark blue (idr) is all I really know.

Have you ever played Gamecube? I feel like I have at a friend's place.

What are you fascinated by? Abnormal sciences are a big one, like mutations and shit. I just find all things nature-oriented to be very interesting.

Would you be willing to be examined for medical research? I'd need more details.

Do you have a favorite pet? I adore Roman and Venus quite the same, although I think it's very understandable that mine and Roman's bond is closer, given snakes are unable to form those kinds of relationships. I KNOW Roman loves me, but all I expect Venus to do is trust me, and that's fine. That's just the reptilian brain.

Could you call your best friend right now and tell them your biggest secret, and trust them to keep it? Yes.

Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Yeah, I loved holding them as a kid. I still very much remember in elementary school, there was a big tree us kids got to play around on like field days and stuff, and it was COVERED in caterpillars during the right time of year.

Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch? Mmm, mostly. I watch almost everything John Wolfe uploads, and then I go on binges of catching up with tarantula kat and Snake Discovery.

Who is one singer or band you would kill to see live? RAMMSTEIN RAMMSTEIN RAMMSTEIN ON GOD 😭 their concerts are legendary and I physically, emotionally, and spiritually NEED to go

What if you found out your ex was having a child with someone else? If it was Jason, I'm very well aware I would feel EXTREMELY weird and almost absolutely have an emotional breakdown at some point bc trauma and once upon a time that's what *I* wanted, but I think I'd ultimately be okay, at least eventually. If I found out Sara was pregnant, I'd honestly be extremely worried about her because she has never wanted children and we both know that her body absolutely could not handle pregnancy.

Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you? I mean it's pretty, but it is way, WAY too damn common. I know SO many people not even related to me that have "Marie" as a middle name, too.

When was the last time you couldn’t stop laughing? Why? fucking last night when I was watching a Game Grumps episode, lol

Any ways in which you’re very different from the person you love/ like? I am way, WAY more emotional than he is.

Who was the last person to unfriend you on Facebook? Idk, idc.

Do you know why he/she decided to unfriend you? I'm sure it was either a political or religious thing, I ain't shy about sharing those beliefs.

Have your grandparents ever asked you about your love/sex life? lol homie the only grandmother I knew didn't give a shit about me or what I had going on, ever. Not that I at all woulda WANTED her to ask something like this, but yeah, she did not care about anything stemming from/relating to my mother/her own fucking daughter. Mom was the black sheep, and then I was. So she double didn't like me, I'm sure.

What was the last amusement park ride you went on? Oh wow, I don't think I've been on one since very shortly before the breakup... Jason, his friend Dillon, and I went to the town fair and I stepped WAY outside my comfort zone in getting on one of those really tall rides where you sit around this circular thing and are carried way, way up and then abruptly dropped. I am very afraid of those rides (safe to say I screamed lmao) but said fuck it and did it anyway. It's an achy memory because this actually might have been the exact night of the breakup, but if it wasn't, I KNOW it was extremely close. I tried my best to stop being afraid of everything and just taking that first scary step but it wasn't enough.

Who was the last person to give you some of their food? Uh probs Mom.

The last person you met, what was your first impression of them? Uh pretty sure I last met a doctor, and I thought he was fine but seemed kinda bad with talking. Same, bro.

When was the last time you felt left out? idk

Who was the last person you told a secret to? My sister Nicole, I guess. She wanted to know why Mom entirely broke down outside of Ashley's place a few weeks ago, and I really wasn't sure if Mom would want her to know, but I also felt extremely weird hiding that from my sister so told her, along with that she absolutely could not tell Ash because Mom doesn't want her to know. I still feel weird about it, also having told her to not tell Mom I'd shared it with her. It was a messy convo I just really didn't know how to handle, a big part absolutely being because that I'm always so desperate to feel like my sisters like me so did what I knew she wanted.

Have you ever been on a ferris wheel that had swinging cages/gondolas? Were you in the swinging cage/gondola or too chicken to go on it? Going back to that town fair thing with Jason, yes. I remember he was afraid to get on it because he hated heights, but I talked him into it. We kissed at the top and I thought it was super cute.

How many people have you had feelings for this year? Only Girt.

Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? My parents did split, and Nicole and I (Ash had already moved out) stayed with Mom.

Do you think somebody’s in love with you? I think, yeah. He's never said those exact words but his actions are pretty loud.

Do you ever listen to music that’s in a different language? I very regularly listen to Rammstein, and there's a Latin song from WoW I absolutely adore that I listen to sometimes. There's probably more; I really should listen to more foreign metal bands in specific, historically I've loved those kinds of songs.

What’s your most embarrassing moment? FUCK this one occasion where I realized Mom was home when I was rather sure she wasn't and walked out of my room half undressed after Doing Stuff with my bf and saw her on the couch and I just wanted to pass away. We never, ever addressed what happened and I am beyond thankful my mom clearly made the decision to just pretend nothing happened lmao

What was the last thing you took a video of? I actually don't know.

Are there any ways in which your childhood was highly atypical? My dad was an alcoholic, for one. I was honestly just a weird kid, too. At least, I feel like I was. I liked untraditional things.

Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language? No.

Have you ever dated someone from a very different socioeconomic background? Yes, Sara, but I honestly feel really weird sharing details about this because it's just totally not my business to share. I typed it out but ended up deleting it, I felt gross.

Do you own a disco ball? No, but man I wish I did now just so I could see how Roman would react to it, lol.

What mountain range is closest to your house? Appalachian.

Have you ever had famous neighbors? No, not that I'm aware.

Are you competitive? Nah. I'm not gonna say I NEVER am, but that is super far from a regular trait of mine.

[TW: SUICIDE/DRUG OD] What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? I guess in all technicality, overdosing pretty heavily on cold meds. It still blows my fucking mind practically nothing happened, though I'm going to credit that to getting lots of fluids in time, ig.