#super down bad for each other
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the chaotic energy of the free practice sessions alone has made the mexican gp an absolute standout
#mexican gp 2024#formula 1#f1#the double fps crash#the hinch dcc analysis#ale’s backwards somersault#carcar#their magnetism is back#lestappen#super down bad for each other
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having thoughts and feelings about perc’ahlia and their could-be-but-would-never-allow-the-other-to-destroy-themselves-enough-to-actually-become-the-briarwoods parallel/foilism. particularly with vex and delilah and potential places this season might go but also just vex’s “it’s like i’m a bad omen” and the fact that like. vex has full awareness of her feelings for percy and alludes to them to him. but then after she has sex with him it is so so compelling to me that vex is like. this is all i can have with him and i’ll take just this even if maybe it’s flying too close to the sun. and something something the shot of delilah embracing sylas after she’s brought him back, looking over his shoulder into a mirror where it looks like she isn’t holding anything at all and just . god. the like oppositional threads of delilah refusing to lose sylas and holding on tight at any cost and vex holding herself so far from percy to deny the pain that would come with losing/hurting him and the like. venn diagram cross over of something is lost anyway.
#this is almost certainly standing out to me because of the simple like. visual aesthetic thing of#vex and delilah dark haired women with designs inspired by laura in some form and thus looking not dissimilar#but like . delilah’s hair being down in the only scene where we see her as vulnerable as when she brings sylas back#vex’s hair down while she (on my read) pretends to be asleep while percy touches her with care that is even more intimate than the sex they#just had . idk man it’s rotting me#i’m just always obsessed with vex and percy both kind of falling for each other because they see how terrible the other one is#and they see how terrible the other thinks themselves to be and they both go. ‘well you aren’t as bad as i am.#and i won’t let you worsen yourself’#versus the briarwoods which are like. that but full send Let’s Get Worse babey#anyway. this isn’t super coherent i’m just vibing#vex’ahlia#percy de rolo#delilah briarwood#sylas briarwood#percy + vex#delilah + sylas#perc’ahlia#critical role#tlovm#tlovm spoilers
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(in which the caption is a picture)
bonus (my girlfriend):
#shrimp gifs#hongjoong#seonghwa#yeosang#mingi#wooyoung#san#ateez#kpop#LEGIT. WHAT'S. GOING ON. they're so stone-faced and/or almost wary of each other. no 'oh shit captain you're alive! hooray!'#just. hwa hopping down and tossing hj the duffel bag. and the look hj gives him looks almost pained? though i'm super bad at telling#emotions from faces so idk BUT LIKE. GOD#there was a fic that played with this a bit. like it had hj trapped in the house AS WELL AS a time loop or sorts and it took LONG for him t#get out so when the lads finally reunited with him they didn't trust him fully at first because Man What Happened To You#it was so good. i should find it again OTL
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i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.
#im not saying astrology/tarot/crystals/etc. get clowned on so much bc theyre hobbies mostly enjoyed by women But....#i saw a post about some astrology study and made the mistake of opening the notes on that bad boy#not fun. and that reminded me of that old post that was basically like ''liking astrology is transphobic''#anyways idk maybe its just that my bestie is very much a ''crystal girl'' but like. stuff like that are such neat hobbies#she makes some cute little jars with pretty rocks and they make her feel better bc if you believe in something you can make it happen#when it comes to small things#like yeah if you pick up a stone that's like ''this can help you be more open with your emotions'' and you are like ''oh hell yea!''#ofc that will be on your mind and the item will be a constant reminder and actually help you with your goals#and its like. ok what really stuck with me was when i was talking with my bff and i was like ''i think all this stuff is interesting but i#feel bad bc i am superstitious and believe in some signs like lucky numbers but i know that logically its just. if i pick a lucky number of#i pay extra attention to it but i want to believe its lucky but i know how human brains work in that aspect''#and she was just like. ''so? those things dont have to exclude each other'' and it clicked#if i have a little tigers eye with me it does not make me feel more grounded magically#but if i decide (or believe) it's grounding then it will b bc it's a reminder for me to calm down#and stuff#like. ah idk how to put my thoughts into words#but i just think its unfair that a few rotten apples have ruined the perception of fun hobbies for a lot#not every astrology enjoyer is trying to sell you mlm essential oils or genuinely believe peoples entire lives are dictated upon the stars#or something#idk i just feel like these things are v misunderstood even tho im not personally like super into them myself#but ppl super mean about that stuff arent invited to look at my medieval themed fortune telling cards#idkk im sleepy and cant articulate my points someone else say this but better#leevi talks#im just saying. i dont think its bioessentialism to decide to believe you personally have a season for growth when the stars are in a#certain position or whatever
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#this question is very hard for me to answer so obviously I have to torment everyone else with it#cause like. like I can really see the potential in either answer. both are feasible#I will say. most realistically. to me. edwin first charles harder#because I think…..I think the reasoning behind the other way around usually tends to be about how edwin absolutely was slower to bond and#open up in general whereas charles hit the ground fucking running#but i don’t think that particularly applies to their romantic relationship#if you mean ‘fell for’ in a general sense rather than a romantic one then yes 100%#but that’s not what im talking about here#I have a few different reasons but generally I think edwin fell first because like… the way he attached himself to charles and accepted him#as his person and etc is so unlike him to do with literally anyone- especially at the point where they first met/the first years they knew#each other. charles just seems to have hit him as something very very special and irreplaceable quite quickly for him to open up the way he#did and change and flourish into a fully realized person because of how safe and worthy charles made him feel#he took to charles with an unusual amount of ease and trust and I think that says something about how charles struck his heart Early#whereas with charles… yes on one hand he did stay on the mortal plane largely because of edwin and absolutely would’ve been impacted by the#tender act of mercy that was edwin reading to him as he died so he wouldn’t be scared. that’s absolutely what got him to trust edwin and to#want to be with him and protect him and so on#but charles would still do that and be like that under intense platonic circumstances I think#but most importantly I just think charles fell harder. when he fell is less important to me here- more important is that by GOD that boy is#down so fucking bad and outright SAYS IT in so many ways that he doesn’t realize– the sheer amount he restates how he’s content so long as#he’s with edwin. how he doesn’t want to be anywhere where edwin can’t follow. would and Did go to hell and back for him. believes him#to be the kindest and most incredible person he’s ever met. prioritizes him above anything and everything. etc etc etc#that’s not to say edwin doesn’t feel a similar amount of devotion– but charles just. really loves him with his whole person. loves him as a#fact of his existence and a piece of his very soul#idk man. it just feels like he is so incredibly smitten and he doesn’t even know it.#like I said though I can see both options and give reasons for both options so this question EATS at me I GENUINELY don’t have a super#strong feeling either is absolutely correct. it’s so difficult to answer they’re both so smitten and have such a history and GRAHHHH#payneland#dead boy detectives#rambling#polls
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relearning digital art part 2: pushing everybody has a crush on sigma propaganda
#they are all down bad for sigma trust me#chuuya too but i didnt draw him#they should stop trying to kill each other and kiss#i imagine these three being super head over heels for sigma#and then chuuya being protective and putting his arm in front of sigma to stop the assholes from getting to him#its useless but whatever#bungou stray dogs#sigma bsd#dazai osamu#fyodor dostoevsky#mykola hohol#nikolai gogol#sigzai#siglai#sigma x fyodor#poly decay#fvedyart
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zam is a wattpad heroine
#mine.txt#hes a not like other girls who a Lot of ppl are obsessed with in some way shape or form despite not being the strongest pvper out there#who trained under one of the most famous ones and was even teamed with him at some points#whose causes ppl keep rallying for even when theyre not super involved with him at that moment#with a bad boy childhood* friend with lots of power and a tragic and checkered backstory who keeps being misunderstood#vs next door sweetheart whos just like him fr and keeps communjcating with him and being by his side who everyone keeps kicking down#fighting for his love and he wants them both and doesnt want to choose but unfortunately they hate each other
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My Beloved Sunburst,
It's been a little while, I know, and I'm truly sorry for it. I just haven't had the time to pick up a pen or a quill lately. My shop gets flooded during the month of Nightmare Night, you know how it is. Ponies come in looking for decorations (In a curio shop? Strange, I know!) and other oddities to show off, or they bring along an artifact they think is haunted or something. It's fun to see them learn that it isn't, or that it is! Both reactions are part of what makes owning this place fun. I'd love to show you sometime ♡
But that's not why I'm writing to you, I just want to tell you how much I miss you. How much I long to be in your vicinity, we don't even have to be talking or cuddling. I just want to be near you, that's how much I miss you. I want to hear your cute little snorts when something interests you within that book you've read for the umpteenth time. I want to see your eyes light up when you finally realize how to put two, or three, unrelated spells together to make a brand new one. I want to watch your ears flick when you hear a teeny tiny sound that takes you out of your own little bookbound world.
If you'd like to cuddle, that'd be nice too. Your steady breathing and your heartbeat are like music to me. I'd give anything in all of Equestria to be beside you right now. You always smell like an old book, it's one of my favorite smells and I'm glad I get to experience it all the time when we're together. The way your soft, love-filled chuckles hum in your chest, and how your voice softens when it's just the two of us. I don't think there'd ever be a better sound to hear than you speaking to me like I'm the most precious thing in your life. SADLY I'm running out of scroll space, though, maybe I'll follow this one up with another here soon. I love you with all of my everything, Sunburst. I'll see you when I can, okay?
Patiently and forever yours, Morbid Curiosity ♡
#writing ! 💫#Sunburst ! ☀️#Auughh I'm so sorry if this is so sappy and out there and dumb but I've been stewing on how much I adore Sunburst ALL day#I might do FOvember later but for right now I'm stupidly in love with this technicolor horse nerd#In our lore we're long distance and we write each other letters and scrolls whenever we can and it makes me all WAUGH#I wanna implement a book we pass between one another kind of like how the Mane Six did with their friendship lessons. I think it'd be SUPER#cute. Writing little journal entries for the day and jotting down how many times we missed one another and how little things throughout the#day made us think of each other wahhhh#I love Sunburst SO fucking much#I want to be a pony so bad :'[#I have no idea how I want to tag this#Is writing gonna be a thing on this blog??#God it might be#Siiighs. Made a writing tag just in case#self insert#self ship#self inserting#self shipping#selfship#selfinsert#Ok to rb I GUESS
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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I genuinely wonder if I'll ever be fully over my cherry magic brainrot. It's everything I ever wanted in a romance manga like what's after this?
#cherry magic#cherry magic 30 years of virginity can make you a wizard#kurosawa especially is such a peak character to me#HES SUCH A FREAK#LIKE HES ACTUALLY SO INSANE#adachi isnt any better#im serious#its easy to miss but ive been rereading the manga like crazy lately#and adachi is so down bad#everytime he sees kurosawa its always#“ugh hes so handsome”#which eventually just turns into#“fuck hes so hot”#MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESSES WITH A DISORDER#They're so unhinged and obsessed with each other#kurosawas fear of being hated by adachi is the only thing keeping him from being in an entirely different genre#like yes hes the perfect man because hes super respectful and kind and genuinely sweet to everyone around him#but he's also a maniac when it comes to being in love#i have so many thoughts about this man
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Hi Charmer! :] I realize the main reason why you're probably showing off your fangs so much is because you're angry/irratated/upset but. Good lord. My goodness. (This is a compliment btw)
The Charmer: Oh, you like my fangs mortal? Lucky for you I am happy to indulge~
The Curator: Gag.
#ask blog#ask the archivists#asks are open#toh the archivists#the owl house#toh#toh oc#the archivists#id in alt text#flirty fridays#THAT'S RIGHT IT'S FUCKING BACK#I HAVE SO MANY FLIRTY MESSAGES TO CLEAR OUT OF MY INBOX#This time you get the unique angle of 'being flirted with when your siblings are in the room so you just bully each other the whole time'#also hello anon I'm glad you like his fangs#I gave him his two sets of fangs and forked tongue on purpose#specifically for people who would be (eyes emoji) towards her#unrelated I feel so bad when I answer a lot of these really quickly#because I worry since the tags for the Archivists aren't like#super popular that it looks like I'm spamming the tag *lies face down on the ground in the family guy death pose*#it's the trauma of growing up with adhd whispering at me that I'm annoying
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even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!
#i think it's particularly maddening bc we have seen characters be able to understand civillian matt is like. more than just Blind Man.#i am always highly aware of period typical writing and can remember the context etc etc but sometimes.#sometimes it truly. truly does drive me up the wall. especially when other characters have been capable of not being That Level#of infantalizing. again foggy still isn't much better in a lot of respects he is just as capable of and has been as infantilizing#and insulting as karen has been. for sure. on multiple occassions. no questions asked. but i dont think he does it to the extent karen does#as in we dont see it on page just as much. it's just a bit less. so we see karen focus on it far more. to an almost exaggerated extent#part of that is the romance plot of ohhh i cannot possibly love a blind man while foggy is matt;s best friend of many years#so of course it will be in the way of the stan lee and old romance comics schools of writing that this goes down and is written like this.#of course we see her focus on it a touch more in a different way bc she's still getting to know matt and hasnt witnessed him#for about like a decade(? they met in undergrad right?) function on his own the way foggy has. but jesus christ man. good god.#at a certain point even with the period time context it does just still leave a bad taste. at certain points it becomes less eye roll#and far more maddening and hard to push down. bc it is gross. no matter what time period it is.#again. both of them are pretty disrespectful towards matt about it at this point even if mostly in their inner monologues or dialogues#with each other and not super to matt's face about it every time. but still. sometimes karen drives me far more crazy about it than foggy.#becase at least foggy can in fact recognize every now and then. matt is a perfectly capable grown man who can function and thrive.#and is someone who lives independently but also can know how to get assistance when needed.#while karen at this point has never really once given matt the benefit of that assumption despite witnessing his capabilities.#because even with his act of trying to fit the image ppl have of him. he still functions within that! and shows he can do things!#and ask for help when he needs it! even within his act of making himself smaller and quieter for others.#he's still like. adult man who lives his life. and does stuff on his own time.#i cant really speak about matt on any more deeper level than that in regards to his disabilities. i am not disabled.#i only speak as a reader and someone watching what these characters do and have proven to be able to do and how they act.#so i can only talk about karen and foggy's behaviors and attitudes in that regard.#and also as a person with like. basic understanding of other ppl living their lives. that all ppl live their own damn lives however it is#like most ppl on planet earth.#i apologize if any of my wording here is bad or if i dont talk on it well as none of this in the real world stuff is my lived experience#and you are free to go hey. incorrect. think about that or word that differently.#ok i promise im done now it's just. EUGH. UGH!!!!!#static.soundz
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I've had a stupid merlin au idea stuck in my head for days now and I know I'll never get around to writing it the way I want it written but I kinda wanna try anyway even though I am 100% of the target audience
#it's an f1 au btw#so I feel like a merlin x f1 crossovee is very niche#but I just have this idea in my head pf arthur as a driver and merlin as an aerodynamics engineer#and arthur starts off as an ass (as per usual) and thinks that he's god's gift to motorsports and all his good results are because of his#skill and bad results are because the engineers fucked up bad#and lowkey people don't like working with him BUT uther is giving red bull absolute mega bucks to keep him and he is actually a fantastic#driver in his own right. deep down he's not super satisfied though because people keep saying he's only winning because of his car#and his dad's money which is why he's a grumpy ass to most people and tries to claim good races as his and blame engineers for bad ones#also because uther probably taught him that attitude#in this au I think either Newey didn't exist but rb dominance still did or this is far enough after Newey that I haven't got arthur blaming#him for a bad car because y'all I can't do that it's too unrealistic no one would believe it#(yes I am aware that max and checo are currently complaining about a car newey made but shh)#anyway he secretly goes to sign for like. williams or something who currently suck so he can prove to himself and everyone else that he IS#a good driver and can drive a shit car well. he's admittedly doing fairly well in a tractor when merlin joins the team as the new head#of aerodynamics and arthur is giving him shit because he's so young and how could he possibly fix this shitbox#then Merlin's first big upgrade packages comes and makes a pretty big difference and arthur has to rethink a bit#the next season is the first car that merlin was actually mostly in charge of and it's a massive difference and suddenly it's competitive#meanwhile merlin's pov is that arthur sucks ass and he hates him but he keeps being told that arthur is his destiny#he refuses to believe this though and even though he has magic he point blank refuses to use it on anything that would help arthur even#somewhat indirectly like using it to help design the car. his official reasoning to people who know about his magic is that the fia wouldn't#allow it but personally he also just wants to say a fuck you to fate because he doesn't like arthur. but then they get to know each other#more and he realises that maybe arthur isn't that bad and they become friends like in the show#arthur is leading the championship (pendragon dominance could bore fans) but then he has a big crash and is out for a couple of races#by all accounts it's a miracle he's even alive (it's the only time merlin has used his magic for arthur). when he comes back he still has a#chance at wdc but it's way tighter than it was. maybe there's only a few races to go. he gets some podiums and his competition has some bad#luck (genuine not merlin) or something but then at like the second last race he can guarantee wdc if he wins regardless of where anyone else#places. he does it and merlin is the one to go on the podium with him on behalf of the team (maybe not for winning wdc but just his first#win after the crash idk) and it's this big emptional moment#also morgana was as good as arthur as kids but uther only supported arthur so now she works for sky or someone in a role like nico rosberg
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I'm really nervous for the third sonic movie. not for anything about the movie itself but for the fact that every single Scu thing (with the exception of drone home maybe?) Has been shortly preceded and/or followed by some kind of personal social tragedy.
And it's really weird cuz it started me writing and without that I wouldn't have met most of my current friends. But at the same time im associating it with the loss of multiple relationships.
Am I an overly anxious person that catastrophises every little thing? Yes. Am I superstitious? not really. But the fact that this keeps happening, And i keep ending up upset near an scu release due to social issues is getting really really freaky and almost makes it seem like there is something weird going on. The storyteller in me wants to call it like a deal, it got me into the sonic franchise and so many good things, but the trade off is ill feel hurt and loose something each time something in that universe comes out.
#night's nonsense#god ive been so negative the last week or so. Sorry about that#i just feel like so many things are getting worse and the better things are vanishing#like i checked out some old games i used to play on my ipad and now they got adds every other minute and are super stingy with in game stuf#all a ploy so you get frustrated and buy stuff of course. But it sucks that it didn't used to be like that#they're silly dumb games and now theyre all money money money#sucks#ive been trying to pull myself out of this but each time i get progress i just get knocked back down again#im just so tired at this point#this time last year was much more enjoyable#low key wanna skip to the end of this year.#But what would be the point of that? its not like a new calendar year automatically means things are different.#They're all days and who knows what they'll contain. Bad? Good? Blessings? tragedy? i dont know at this point.#God i've got so much to rant about from tiny things to massive things#but im definitely becoming a nuisance. There already enough awful in the world. Dont need me being a downer to#Ill try to finish off my tags with somethign nice. For my own sake to#I got visited by seven king parrots today. around now the babies are almost adults and every year the parents bring them to see me#such lovely pretty and sweet birds them. if you haven't seen a picture go search them up.
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flippin boobahs!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#scott shriner#OKAH HI CHAT#i’ve been thinking#this tag will be just a rant not really weezer related#yk laufey ?#i was listening to her song ‘letter to my 13 year old self’ and just started overthinking about myself when i was younger#i just think about my younger self and get so sad thinking about her; i wish i could’ve done more for her#i was a huge introvert and talking to anybody made me super super anxious; so much so that my teacher noticed and had me join a ‘social#emotional learning’ group where we spoke about low self esteem and how to raise it and everything like that#i only left it in 8th grade because i didn’t wanna keep missing class for it; but it made me so sad to think i thought so low of myself#i would wear hoodies all the time and jeans because i used to hate my body a lot#which is awful to do in socal heat!#i think it started because in my family i was always stereotyped as the fat one; yk how mexican families are? they called me gordita for#the longest time; which made me incredibly insecure and only in 10th grade did i start showing my arms 😭 IK ITS DUMB BUT ITS SO WEIRD#i still can’t do it entirely; i’ll wear shrugs and things like that because i still am insecure about my arms sometimes but ive been better#i only really had one friend but she had a different lunch; so i was alone for most of the time on the swings by myself or sitting at the#lunch tables alone waiting for lunch to end and this noon duty came to me a lot and would talk to me since she felt bad i was always alone#while everybody else played with each other ; and i don’t know why i just broke down thinking about how lonely i was at the time#i’d go to the school’s friendship room everyday after that because it was just a teacher who let kids come inside her room to play games if#they didn’t wanna be in the heat and soon i became friends w the teacher and she’d play uno with me everyday; mainly because the room was#relatively empty until they got loom bands! and i was an expert on loom bracelets so i would help others make them and that was a confidenc#e boost; i remember being proud of myself for socializing like that LOL#i just get sad thinking about that time; i like to think that if little Lyss saw me; she would be so proud because i have friends;#a boyfriend ; good grades ; and i’m well liked and regarded. i hope she’s proud of my progress socially because it was such a leap#i wish i could go back in time and tell her how much better things get and how she won’t be lonely forever#…and to not online date. definetly don’t do that one.
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maybe this was common knowledge and ive been severely out of the loop but the fact that russel t davies is gay is kind of rocking my world rn?
#like obviously his characters were always super fuckin queer but idk there is still something different knowing that like#its not accidental rep its not pandering its not rainbow capitalism#its one of us telling our stories#like. idk how much torchwood criticism ive read that boiled down to 'they all act bi but dont address it'#and then seeing a clip of an interview w him being like 'yeah thats deliberate i thought it was time to bring bi ppl into mainstream#and i think in a world with literal aliens it would get a lot harder to care about gender in the first place to even need to try#and define it' and its like. hello???? why did no one mention this before?????????#like that literally describes 99% of my friends is 'am i gay? am i bi? do i have gender preference at all? fuck if i know i have#bigger issues to think about'#ppl criticized it for being bad representation but like. is it?#is a group of misfits with nowhere else to go and only each other to rely on who have weirdly intense co-dependant#sometimes toxic messy relationships and lots of hooking up not descriptive of like. most queer friend groups#raise a hand if youre queer and arent exes with at least one of your closest friends. yeah thats what i thought#anyways thats all thank you verilybitchy for your doctor who videos im astral projecting#origibberish
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