#but like . delilah’s hair being down in the only scene where we see her as vulnerable as when she brings sylas back

[shorthaltsjester]

having thoughts and feelings about perc’ahlia and their could-be-but-would-never-allow-the-other-to-destroy-themselves-enough-to-actually-become-the-briarwoods parallel/foilism. particularly with vex and delilah and potential places this season might go but also just vex’s “it’s like i’m a bad omen” and the fact that like. vex has full awareness of her feelings for percy and alludes to them to him. but then after she has sex with him it is so so compelling to me that vex is like. this is all i can have with him and i’ll take just this even if maybe it’s flying too close to the sun. and something something the shot of delilah embracing sylas after she’s brought him back, looking over his shoulder into a mirror where it looks like she isn’t holding anything at all and just . god. the like oppositional threads of delilah refusing to lose sylas and holding on tight at any cost and vex holding herself so far from percy to deny the pain that would come with losing/hurting him and the like. venn diagram cross over of something is lost anyway.

[dailyaudiobible]

5/2/2023 DAB Transcript

Judges 15:1-16:31, John 2:1-25, Psalm 103:1-22, Proverbs 14:17-19

Today is the second day of May, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it is wonderful to be here with you today, and every day, as we gather around the Global Campfire and come into this safe, serene space, find our place and let everything else go and allow the Scriptures to come washing into our lives and into every circumstance that we are facing and inform us and guide us, and give us clarity and direction, so that we go back out into the world with a different perspective. So, it is wonderful to be here with you today as we take the next step forward. And that next step forward leads us back into the book of Judges, back into the story of Samson, today Judges 15 and 16.

Commentary:

Okay so, as we finish up the story of the judge named Samson, let's just look back because it's taken us a few days to move through that story. There's a lot there. Samson's birth was foretold to a couple who were infertile. And we…we noticed that and we noticed that that's a theme, that there are a lot of stories like that, that begin that way in the Bible. But Samson was to be set apart from the time that he was born, he would be a Nazirite, which means he was set apart for the service of God. And that meant that he wasn't supposed to drink alcohol and he wasn't supposed to eat unclean food and he was not to have his haircut. And as a result, he had strength that that was unparalleled. And at the time of Samson, the Philistines had been ruling over Israel, and the conflict between the Philistines and the Israelites well, this isn’t the last time we’re gonna, we’re gonna run into this conflict. But conflict was stirred up between the Philistines and the Israelites because of Samson, and Samson had beef with the Philistines for one main issue, for one main reason: women. So, at first Samson finds a woman that he wants to get married to who was a Philistine woman and he has this riddle that will enrich himself with his fiancée and their new life and their new beginning, but he loses the wager because his fiancée betrays him. And so, Samson retaliates by killing Philistines, which did not work out for the Philistines, it only made them angry with the determination to capture Samson and bring about their version of justice upon him. But he was too strong for them and then eventually Samson met another woman. Her name is Delilah, and we watched their relationship, and we, I mean the story allows us to get insight into the…into what's going on and we can see that Delilah is doing nothing but manipulating Samson. She wants to know where his strength comes from so that she too, can betray him. And so, she wears him down, over and over again. Tell me the source of your strength, and then he tells her something, and then she does that something as if it's like…like a cat and mouse game and gets up and frees himself until she's finally, she finally presses him in a…in a extraordinarily manipulative way. If you really loved me, you would X, Y, and Z and what she wants is the source of his strength and he trusts her. He loves her and she betrays him. His hair is cut, his strength is gone. The Philistines come, they gouge out his eyes and blind him and they turn him into entertainment. They turn them into a circus act, they humiliate him. Not realizing that his hair is growing back. And so, Samson, at his last stand in the last scene of his life, is being humiliated and ridiculed before the Philistine people in the temple of the Philistine God, Dagon. And actually, this isn’t the last time we’re gonna be in this place. They’ll be a meeting with Dagon and the Philistines again because in the future the Philistines will capture the ark of the covenant, which doesn't go well for Dagon. But we’ll get to that soon enough. The people are worshiping Dagon, rejoicing and praising for the capture of Samson. Samson is standing by the pillars of the building and utters a final prayer, God remember me once more, give me my strength one more time. And then Samson pushes the building down and it collapses around him, and he dies in the rubble. One of the things that we see in this story is, who left who. Samson gave up his strength, his calling, his anointing for a woman who manipulated him, which reveals a number of things, but it reveals the power of women in this world, the power and influence to capture the heart. In the case of Samson, this is like a cautionary tale. But the opposite of what Delilah did, would also be true, a woman can call a man higher than he ever would've gotten without her when she is true and faithful. So, I am in no way trying to say femininity is the problem. Quite the contrary. I’m married to a faithful woman. I’m married to the opposite of Delilah, and I would not be here without her. I'm just trying to say there is enormous strength and power bestowed upon women in this world for good and for evil. And that should be taken to heart. And I'm not trying to skip men. We have plenty in the Bible, that men need to pay attention to and the way that they conduct their relationships. I’m just saying, this is one of the things that we can observe in the story of Samson. Another thing for us to remember is that we have also been set apart to God. And we still sin. And when we do, who is walking away from whom? Like, we are walking away from God and not the other way around. And so, we walk away from the strength of the Lord, the calling of God, the anointing of the Lord on our lives for lesser things that aren't going to stay true, and that may in the end manipulate us into our own destruction. So, let's give this some thought today.

Prayer:

And Holy Spirit, we invite You into all of it. The entire story that we’ve read here and we can look at this from all kinds of different angles but we’re inviting Your Holy Spirit to lead us to what we need, and what we need to carry forward, and what we need to know for the steps that are in front of us. Come, Holy Spirit, in the name of Jesus, we ask and lead us into all truth. We pray this in Your name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base and that is where you can find out what's going on around here and get connected. And so, check that out. The Daily Audio Bible app does all of that right in a convenient app package, right in the palm of your hand. So, check out the app, you can just search for Daily Audio Bible at the App Store that works with your device. So, while you’re browsing around and getting familiar, check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop. There are resources there in a number of different categories, all created for the community here, all centered around the journey that we are on moving through the Scriptures. So, yeah, check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible. Thank you, thank you humbly, we wouldn’t be here if we weren’t in community, but we are, so thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you're using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996 Springhill, Tennessee 37174.

And as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today, I'm Brian, I love you and I will be waiting for you here, tomorrow.

Prayer and Encouragements:

Hi, I don’t know what to say except I can't do it alone anymore. My email is all messed up. I don’t know how to ask for help. I just know that I can’t, I can’t do it. And I just, I need help. And I keep trying to do it alone and there isn’t anything I can do. And there isn’t any way that I can even ask for help because I don’t know what to ask for anymore. And it’s not even a pride thing anymore because I am just too weak to do anything. And I’ve tried to ask, I can’t ask. I don’t know what to ask for. I just need help. I just turned 65 and I have no parents, I have no children, I have no friends. I have a car with 306 thousand miles on it. I have a place to live. I’m grateful but I’m lost. I know that God is helping me. I’m surviving. But I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to help others, but it ends up getting me in more trouble than it’s worth. I don’t know what to do. Just pray, please. Thank you.

Hey, Daily Audio Bible Family. It is Sheena from Saskatchewan. And I’ve called in a couple of times about some of things that we’re going through. So, some of you might remember that. My boyfriend is going through a legal case and while we are super scared about that and praying all the time about that, we are, we’ve found that we’ve been neglecting to pray for our children. In between him and I, we have 6 girls. Each one of them is so very different and has different issues. Only one of them has proclaimed that she is saved. We have a pregnant teen, soon-to-be mom. We have non-binary teen. We have a teen who will be diagnosed, what we believe to be autistic. A teen who’s being bullied. A teen who is very materialistic and wanting to spend money, spend money, spend money. And the youngest is refusing to do anything she is told to do. So, can I just ask you guys to pray for, help us pray for our kids. We’ve decided that we’re gonna make a habit of it, regularly to pray for them. So, I would just ask that if you guys could do the same, we would greatly appreciate all your prayers. Thanks, Daily Audio Bible Family. We love you so much.

Good morning, Daily Audio Family. This is Eunice, I’m calling today to pray for families like my family, as well. I have two daughters and two sons. And my daughters are striving to live for God, but both of my sons are struggling with who they even believe God is. And so, it’s nothing but the trick of the enemy. And so, I just wanna pray for families. Lord God, we thank You today because we know You are our Healer and our Redeemer. You are our Savior and our Lord. And God, I pray for my family as well as all of the DAB families, Lord God. I hear the cries of parents over their children, who are addicted to drugs, who don’t even know what they believe and God it’s nothing but the trick of the enemy. And so, God, we pray against that stronghold. And God, we know that You have called us to be healed, to be whole, to be set free. And so, we pray for our children, Lord God. Whether they be young people, teenagers, or full-grown adults. We pray, Lord God, that You would hear, oh my God, and to deliver, to set free and to restore. We thank You, Lord God, because we know that You are at work and cause them, constantly, Lord God, to hear You and to see You, and to follow in Your ways. Break the strong holds, Lord God, and we just thank You, even now for deliverance. We love You and we just bless Your name. DAB Family, be blessed today. In Jesus name. Amen.

Hi, my name is Louisa and I’m calling from Central Massachusetts. I just want to start by thanking you, Brian and Jill and China and Ezekiel for this soul filling ministry of the Daily Audio Bible. I’ve been blessed by the DAB for three years and I giving this first call to pray against Satan and his powers and principalities that are becoming more bold and more brazen in attacking our culture and our families and our children. During the last weekend of April, the largest Satan Conference in the world is going to take place in Boston, Massachusetts. And I’m asking for the extraordinary prayer warriors of DAB to pray against all the lies, deception that’s promoted at this event. Please join me in praying against the one who seeks to steal, kill and destroy our communities, our cities, our nations in our world. Pray that those attending this event will see the light of Satan’s curses and will turn from Satan and will open their hearts to Jesus our Savior and our Redeemer who offers them and us, life and mercy and grace and love. And we just praise Him for that. So, God bless you all. Thank you so much for letting me reach out to you, that we can all be prayer warriors against Satan and his minions. Thanks.

Hey neighbors, it’s Lisa the Encourager. I wanted to call in and pray for Matt’s son Josiah and his needs for prayer as he’s gonna be getting out of the hospital soon with, after being treating with suicide and depression, issues and concerns. And also, for his upcoming therapy for ECT therapy. And I also want others to know, I’m continuing to pray for Hannah and her eating disorder. Mitchell, who you know, has been on the streets and has been struggling. And also for Drew. Just want you to know, I’m lifting all of them up in prayer. Dear Heavenly Father God, I want to pray for Josiah tonight, Lord, as he’s soon will be entering in a new therapy, God, to hopefully and prayerfully, God, interact with his brain in a way that he can break free from the bondage of depression and how it has impacted his life. And I pray, God, that You will give him the, the strength and be able to finally, the doctors in this procedure will finally be able to be the one thing that heals him forever, Lord. And that he will be able to praise Your Holy name for this beautiful recovery from this awful disease of depression, which puts him in a point of having bad suicidal thoughts, God. I also want to continue to pray for Hannah and her eating disorder and that her recovery will be continuing and that You are with her today, right now, God, and giving her strength to …

Hello, Daily Audio Bible, my name is Kim and I’m calling from Tennessee. And I’ve been listening to the Daily Audio Bible for quite a few years now. And I’m calling in, asking for prayer. My husband and I have, we met in Afghanistan together while we were serving. And we were together since 2012 and we married. And since that time, we have, because of our careers and our jobs we have not been able to live together on a permanent basis. I’m asking for prayer tonight. I have tried to apply for jobs, and I thought I got a job that was remote, where I could move and be with my husband but it’s not a remote position. I don’t know, there was some confusion or something. But I’m just asking for prayer that I would like to be with my husband. We have been faithful, we have been faithful in our, in our faith in the Lord and with each other and through our marriage. And I just pray that I will be soon, finding a job. Please pray for me to be able to find a job where I can relocate and finally live a life with my husband. We’ve been married for a while, and we’ve been apart ever since. We see each other you know, long weekends, leaves, things like that, but I would like to share a life with him, a life in Christ. So, I ask for your prayer and I thank you. And I pray for every one of you in the Daily Audio Bible Family. And I thank you. God Bless.  

[waitimcomingtoo]

Where We Start Again -3

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: how do you fake date someone you have real feelings for?

Series Masterlist and Regular Masterlist

Playlist by @tiny-friggin-human

The first thing Peter heard when he entered your apartment was shouting. You looked disappointed as you locked the door behind you and put your keys in a bowl next to door.

“Sorry. That’s my dad.” You apologized. “He claims using his “lawyer voice” is the only way he can get clients to listen.”

“It’s fine.” Peter assured you. “As long as he doesn’t use that voice on me.”

“Not unless your skirt is too short or you got a grade below a 90.” You said through a tight smile as you dropped your backpack on a kitchen stool. He uncomfortably shouldered his, unsure of if he should do the same.

“You can put your bag down. Put it next to mine so they can talk.” You raised your eyebrows suggestively. Peter shook his head as he laughed at your dumb joke and put his backpack on the stool next to yours.

“What are the gonna talk about?” He played along and you thought about it.

“Yours is probably telling my backpack about how scared he is since he heard your last five bags disappeared.” You whispered dramatically and Peter scoffed.

“I just lose them a lot, okay? I can’t believe you noticed that.” He mumbled. He did lose his backpack a lot when he had to ditch it for Spider-Man duties, he just never thought you’d notice that he always had a different bag.

“Sometimes I see things when I’m not applying lipgloss or brushing my hair.” You said through a big, fake smile and Peter got the hint.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He told you. “I know you do other things. Like paint, apparently.”

You looked at a small canvas hung on the wall together. It was a painting of squidward on a yellow background with your name at the bottom. You looked at it proudly and adjusted it so it wasn’t crooked.

“I hung that up there two years ago and my parents still haven’t noticed.” You laughed, but Peter didn’t find it very funny. “I think it’s kinda of pretty.”

“It’s lovely. You’ll have to make me one someday.” He said as he gazed at you. You seemed different now that you weren’t at school. You weren’t standing as straight and finally looked relaxed.

“You want me to paint a bunch of dicks on your ceiling?” You asked and he almost choked on his saliva.

“Why would you do that?” He asked in bewilderment.

“It was a Michelangelo joke, ciccino.” You said an unexpectedly authentic Italian accent.

“Oh. Um, pizza spaghetti spicy meatball to you too.” He muttered and you laughed loudly. He looked at you quizzically, never having heard you laugh like that before. It was never that loud or cheerful. You noticed his staring and covered your mouth in embarrassment.

“Sorry about that.” You said sheepishly and he shook his head.

“Don’t be.” He said softly. “It was nice to hear.”

“Come on. I’ll give you the rest of the tour.” You took Peters hand and lead him to a room at the end of the hall. “This is my bedroom. I’m sorry I don’t have Yoda on my sheets. I hope daisies will do.”

MJ’s words echoed in Peters mind when you didn’t let go of his hand. He blinked a few times as he looked around your room. He’d imagined what it might look like a few times, as he did with a most people. He was pretty sure Flash lived in a dirt hole outside of a SuperCuts. Whatever he imagined your room would look like, the reality was better. But as he looked closer, he noticed an absence of photos with friends or mementos from school. It was almost like your popularity started and ended on school property.

“Your sheets are fine. It’s smells like you in here.” He said without thinking. “Was that the creepiest thing I could’ve possibly said?”

“Nah. A boy in my Econ class told me he wanted to use my hair as a towel once. You’re gonna have to try harder to creep me out.” You let go of his hand and smoothed your skirt before sitting on your bed. Peter stood awkwardly near the door until he found the words to say. He didn’t want to take another step into your room at risk of ruining the wholesome atmosphere.

“Your hair looks soft and all, but I don’t think it’d be very absorbent.” He said finally and watched your face for a reaction.

“Right? Some people are so dumb.” You joked and he felt himself ease up. He took a few steps toward the center of your room and noticed a guitar leaning again your dresser.

“Do you play?” He asked curiously and you nodded. You got up and walked over to the guitar, fingering the strings as a soft melody played.

“A little. I can strum along time a few songs.” You told him. He joined you next to the guitar and touched the neck.

“Thats still something.” He assured you. “I didn’t know that about you.”

“Theres a lot you don’t know about me, Peter.” You quipped and stopped touching the strings.

“Good thing I love to learn.” He replied and you picked up the guitar.

“What’s your favorite song?” You asked and played him an energetic riff.

“You’re gonna laugh.” He hesitated to tell you.

“I would never laugh at you.” You promised.

“It’s Hey there Delilah. My mom used to sing it when she made dinner.” He admitted for the first time to another human being. He and Ned didn’t cover vulnerable topics, so he kept personal stuff to himself. It was hard to keep it in sometimes, but he never felt like he had another choice until now. I

“That’s a great song. She had good taste.” You said softly. You had heard about his parents passing from MJ when you asked her about the cute boy who sat at her lunch table a week earlier. You didn’t expect him to open about it so soon, but you were glad he did.

“Yeah, she did.” Peter agreed. He never expected to be talking about this with you, but it felt good to get off his chest.

“What was she like?” You wondered as you fingered the melody to Marry Me, Archie.

“Amazing. We used to do crossword puzzles together and she would finish hers before I read my second clue. And she always had something in the oven. It made the house really hot in the summer but my dad and I didn’t mind. We were happy as long as she was.” He reminisced. You listened intently to him as you played the song softly.

“What would she make?” You asked him.

“Pretty much everything.” He replied. “Her favorite was chocolate chip cookies. But from scratch, not a package.”

“Were they good?”

“They were so good.” He sighed happily. “She used to put extra chocolate chips on as the cooled down. I miss those cookies.”

You didn’t say anything but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. He knew you were listening, and that’s all that mattered. His eyes wandered to your bookshelf which was bare of books except for one.

“Charlottes Web?” He raised an eyebrow as he picked up the book and flipped through it.

“It’s my favorite book.” You told him. He was leaning a lot about you just from being in your room.

“Could’ve fooled me. It looks brand new.” He held it up for you to see.

“I only read it one time. When I was younger.” You shrugged and put the guitar down.

“But it’s your favorite?” He wondered.

“The ending makes me sad. I remember the story and how it made me feel, and that makes it my favorite.” You half smiled. “I just can’t read it anymore because-“

“It makes you sad.” He understood. “That’s cute.”

“You’re cute.” You nodded your head at him and blew him a kiss, like you were cat calling him. He looked away bashfully and brushed it off. “I’m serious. I really like this color on you.”

“So I’ve been told.” He mumbled shyly. “Thank you for the candy, by the way.”

“Well I had to pay you back for the gogurt.” You teased. “Should we get going?”

“Going?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“To the mall. For a dress. Like we agreed.” You said slowly and he remembered why he was at your house in the first place.

“Right.” He nodded curtly. “Let’s go.”

~

“How’s this?” You opened the dressing room curtain and stepped out in a short maroon dress. Peters eyes lit up at the sight of you until he realized something.

“Isn’t that the same dress you just had on?” He asked.

“No. That was burgundy. This is maroon.” You said like it was obvious and it went right over Peters head.

“You look great.” He complimented, and he meant it.

“You said that about the last three.” You whined and looked at yourself in the mirror. You adjusted the dress nervously and decided you hated it.

“Yeah, but you do this crazy thing where you’re super pretty and look good in everything, so.” Peter shrugged and you bit back a smile.

“Peter Parker with the flirtatious banter. We love to see it.” You winked, something he was coming to see you did a lot, and went back into the dressing room. You came out a minute later in a long white dress.

“What do you think about this one?” You asked for his opinion as you smoothed the dress down.

“Oh my God. You look like Princess Leia when she - I’m gonna stop talking now.” He interrupted himself before he said something uncool.

“You don’t have to hide who you are from me, Peter. If you want to make a Star Trek reference, I want to hear it.” You folded your arms and admired the dress in the mirror.

“Okay.” He obeyed. “And it’s Star Wars. Star Trek is different.”

“Oh. Which one has the bunnies playing basketball?” You pursed your lips as you looked over your shoulder at the dress.

“That’s Space Jam.” He couldn’t even hide his attitude. “That’s not even-“

He cut himself off when he noticed the playful smile on your face.

“You’re messing with me.” He realized and you nodded.

“You’re cute when you’re riled up.” You shrugged a shoulder and disappeared back into the dressing room.

“How’s this?” You reappeared in a little black dress. It had a sheer layer over the mini skirt that was short in the front and longer in the back. You looked beautiful, to say the least. Like the person who designed the dress made it with you in mind. Peters eyes slowly trailed down the dress and a smile tugged at his lips.

“You know the scene in Mean Girls when Aaron sees the picture of Cady as a little girl on top of an elephant and smiles? And like, that happy song with guitars plays in the background?” He asked you and you looked confused.

“I think so, yeah.” You shrugged.

“That’s how that dress makes me feel.” He confessed and you tilted your head.

“Like I’m a child riding an elephant?”

“Like I’m seeing you for the first time.” He replied. “The real you, anyway. Again, not trying to sound like a stalker, but I’ve looked at you a lot over the last four years. But this feels like the first time I’ve ever really looked at you. You look - - you look happy.”

“Do I not normally look happy?” You asked quietly, turning to look at your face in the mirror.

“You have a sadness to you.” Peter admitted and your head whipped to him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be saying that.”

“No, it’s okay. No ones ever honest with me.” You were quiet for a moment following the confession. “What else do you see?”

“I see a really beautiful girl.” Peter answered honestly. He thought he was complimenting you, but you looked annoyed with the answer. He remembered what MJ said about you hating being watched and took that into consideration as he formulated his answer.

“I also see someone who’s smart and can solve a rubix cube in under a minute. I see someone who’s funny, but never at the expense of someone else. Someone who remembers your favorite candy and helps you glue a LEGO lamp together after school. And I see someone who would pretend to be my girlfriend to save me from a bully. That’s what I see.” Peter recited. You looked at him for a moment before taking a seat beside him. You looked like you were searching for the words to say, so Peter kept silent.

“We need to get you a tie to match my dress.” You said finally. You gave him a soft smile and took the hand that was gripping the arm of his chair. “Thank you.”

“For?” He wondered what he had done to warrant a thank you.

“For everything you said. No ones ever known me that well before. No one ever wanted to.” Your voice wavered and Peter thought he could see tears in your eyes.

“I’ve always wanted to.” He confessed. “And somehow, I’m getting the chance. I still worry that I’m gonna wake up and this will have all been a dream.”

“What?” Your expression changed from appreciative to annoyed too quickly for Peters liking. “Why?”

“Because girls like you don’t hang out with guys like me.” He shrugged like it was simply. You hastily got out of your chair and Peter feared he had said the wrong thing.

“Says who?” You asked sharply as you folded your arms. He was positive now he had said the wrong thing.

“Says everybody.” He said weakly.

“Fuck everybody.” You snapped and Peter jumped a little in his seat. “You are better company than anyone one of those sentient bratz dolls at my lunch table. I’ve had more fun with you these past two days than I have in four years with them. I don’t care what everybody says because I like hanging out with you. So I don’t want to hear anymore of this status talk. I’m just a person, Peter.”

“An extremely popular person. And your reputation would plummet if you were caught hanging out with an extremely unpopular person, like myself.” He tried to explain himself as he got out of his seat but it only made you angrier.

“Caught? Like I’m committing a crime just for being seen with you?” You laughed bitterly. “I don’t know who instilled in you that I’m some deity that no one can talk to, but it’s not true. I thought you understood that.” You said in disappointment before storming into the dressing room and swiping the curtain shut.

“Y/n- daisy wait. Wait.” He pressed himself against the doorframe and sighed. “I do understand that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on a pedestal like that. I know you’re just a person.”

He heard you sniffle behind the curtain and his heart broke when his worst fear had come to light.

He had made you cry.

“You don’t get it, Peter.” You said quietly through the curtain. “Everyone think I’m a stuck up snob or a perfect, plastic doll. And no one cares to get to know the truth. They just see what the want to see. I want them to see me the way you do.”

“Maybe they don’t deserve to see that. Daisy, you are this exceptionally phenomenal force of nature.” He promised as he tried to make amends. “You hold a power that their tiny minds could never understand. Forgive them. They’re slow.”

He smiled in relief when he heard a laugh from the other side of the curtain.

“Now that I have you laughing again, will you come out?” He pleaded.

“I’ll think about it.” You said after a beat of silence.

“For the record, I liked you from the first day of freshman year. Before you were popular.” He admitted to someone other than Ned for the first time.

“Didn’t my dad almost hit you with his car?” You asked as you opened the curtain just enough so he could see you.

“Yes.” He stuttered, surprised that his apology worked. “But I was jay walking so that’s on me. And as I waited for my heart to start beating again after nearly colliding with your dads Toyota Camry, I looked up and saw you crying.”

“I thought he killed you.” You defended your actions.

“But he didn’t.” Peter smiled easily. “And now we’re talking through a curtain because we’re fake dating and I can see your bra strap. What a wonderful world.”

You laughed loudly again, a laugh he was sure only he got to hear.

“Come in here.” You grabbed him by the shirt and tugged him into the dressing room. His knees weakened at the sight of you in just a bra and panties so he averted his eyes to the ceiling and counted to ten in his head.

“I don’t mean to worry you but I’m about to die, so do with that what you will.” Peter wheezed as he focused on the ceiling tiles.

“Relax. Just turn around.” You ordered and he obeyed. He turned around and tried to ignore the sounds of you getting dressed. “Okay. You can look now. You were saying?”

“I’m saying I liked you before you were the queen of Midtown Tech.” He repeated as he put his hands on your shoulders. “I liked you when you were just the girl who cried on the first day of school because her dad almost turned me into a skinny white boy pizza. I never thought I was gonna be good enough to talk to you. That’s why I’m worried I’m gonna wake up from this. Because it’s something I’ve wanted for so long.”

“You are good enough. You are so good enough.” You laughed sadly and stepped closer to him. “You’re the only one in this school who treats me like an actual person. I’m sorry I got defensive. It’s just because I’ve been wanting this for a long time too.”

“Tell you what.” Peter started. “You’re gonna buy that black dress and I’m gonna buy a tie to match. And I swear, I will never make you feel like this again. I never meant to make you cry, daisy. I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you for apologizing.” You said sincerely. “I don’t get those a lot.”

“Then you better start getting used to it because I make a lot of mistakes.” Peter joked and your body shook as you laughed.

“I look forward to what you can come up with.” You smiled softly.

“Come on. People are gonna think you’re jumping on my skeleton.” Peter said as he opened the curtain and walked out.

“Okay.” You followed him out. “Wait, what?”

Tag List 🏷

@a-villain-vying-for-attention @wendaiii @dorbiksbitch @t-monosapiens-h @badhollandfluff @thisisthebiplace @silteplaittais-toi @seasidecrowbar @spideygirl2003 @5-seconds-of-mendes​ @bitchylittleredhead​ @oh-whatabeautiful-parker​ @everydaymj​ @write-from-the-heart​ @blackpetalsmeandeath​ @electraheart-3174​ @shawni-h​ @peterparkoure​ @sleepythighsweat @steebbb @traveleraroundsworld @averyfosterthoughts

[ladyanput]

A Stolen Dream Ch.1

All the monsters and demons were surprised when the powerful Maleficent returned to her dark castle, cradling a tiny infant to her chest. But they didn't dare speak a word, merely watching her as she went to her room with a look of satisfaction on her face, the tiny baby squirming and fussing in her arms. Even her raven upon the dark fairy’s shoulder seemed perturbed by the sight of the child and its flailing limbs. 

Maleficent laid the small baby upon the dark sheets of her bed and unwrapped the bundle. She got to work immediately with fixing the baby's leg, then clearing any blemishes and imperfections with her magic, a bit transfixed by the incredible softness of the baby’s skin.  She had to make the girl perfect in every way. She then raised that baby as if it were her own, though having her minions do the hard work as she supervised.  But the baby put up such a fuss when Maleficent was not around, that the dark fairy often found herself carrying the little brat around. The great fairy even allowed the baby to sleep in her bed, with Diablo watching over her. The dark fairy would watch that tiny chest rise and fall, feel the warmth of the small body next to her, and feel a stirring in her that she could not name. 

Eventually, she named her Delilah.

Seven years had soon passed, and Maleficent could already tell that Delilah was going to be a great beauty, in human standards at least. Every night Maleficent took to brushing the midnight black hair that Delilah has been gifted with, adding magic to each brush stroke, to make the hair soft and silky and luxurious. Not the sunshine golden hair of Princess Aurora, but Maleficent found herself enjoying the colour, preferring it. One would think she wanted a perfect copy of the princess, but no, Maleficent wanted an opposite. She knew those little fairies had blessed the princess with beauty, but it would no doubt be the common beautiful princess; tall, slim, with curling golden hair and large, innocent blue eyes. It almost made Maleficent cackle at the thought of how often such princesses were made to look as such by magic.

"Mother." Delilah's soft voice interrupted Maleficent's thoughts and she gazed down at the small girl, meeting her dark brown eyes. She smiled down at her, but there never was any warmth in those smiles. At the sight, Delilah warmly smiled back, her small hands folded neatly into her lap. "I was wondering if I could go and make a friend."

"Oh?" That made Maleficent's brows raise, and she tilted her head ever so slightly. "Why on earth would you want a friend, child? You have my minions here. Besides, you are a princess, you have no need for friends, only the subjects you shall soon rule over."

"Oh…" Delilah's voice became soft, disappointed as her shoulders slumped. Maleficent sighed to herself at the pathetic sight, and began to braid the girl's thick hair before trying it off with a black ribbon. "I am sorry, mother, I shall not ask again. I was not thinking as a princess should."

Delilah slid down from the stool and curtsied to the dark fairy, then climbed onto the bed and curled up. It was not long before she fell asleep, her soft breathing eventually evening out. Maleficent put away the brush and box of silken ribbons, then returned her gaze to little Delilah.

"Well,  perhaps a friend would not hurt. Just one…" Maleficent watched the small child, before turning to where Diablo was perched. She caught the look in his eyes and sneered. "I am not going soft on her. She is just a tool to ruin that foolish king for insulting me. I'll send her to the little prince of that fooling king Hubert. He and Aurora are engaged, are they not? Surely the fairies will try to keep the king happy by getting the little princess to fall in love with the prince."

Diablo rustled his feathers ever so slightly, then tilted his head, as if urging her to continue.

"I can carefully groom him into falling in love with her. She'll be the thing he cannot have, so different from the innocent, angelic Princess Aurora. It can work, I know it will. Humans are so easy to fool." Maleficent hissed, grasping her cane tightly in her hand. She slid her fingertips along the jewel at the top and suddenly a scene appeared.  The young Prince Philip sitting in his bedroom fit for a Crown Prince, staring out his window in utter boredom into the dark woods that lay just beyond the town below.

"What troubles you, your Highness?" A servant entered the room, carrying a tray of rich foods for the young prince, being made to eat in his room while a drunken party of debauchery went on in the dining hall below. The prince sighed and shook his head, continuing to stare out the window, his mind lost in whatever thoughts they were struggling with. "Well, at least you are going hunting with the king tomorrow. Maybe you will get a deer."

The ten year old prince turned, crossing his arms, his expression cloudy.

"I do not wish to hunt with the noblemen's sons. They only wish to be with me because I am a prince." Philip muttered bitterly, gazing around the room fit for a prince with a bed full of silk sheets, clothes of the highest caliber, anything any child could ever want. "They pretend to like everything I like, then go about talking behind my back."

The servant said nothing, not quite sure how to reply to the Prince's words. From his experience, most royalty enjoyed being surrounded by people who agreed with everything they did. Perhaps the young prince would be more perceptive than his father, the servant hoped.

Maleficent chuckled ever so softly, taking a seat on the edge of her bed as she watched the scene. As she watched, her hand absentmindedly went to stroke Delilah’s hair.  A prince tired of his riches and his title, Maleficent had seen this time and time again, it was a fun little trope. Suddenly, an idea hit and she turned her gaze down to the sleeping Delilah and grinned a grin that made even Diablo shiver.

...

The hunting party made their way through the forest, keeping their eyes peeled for any possible prizes as they rode atop their noble horses. Prince Philip maintained a look of indifference as he rode amongst the noblemen’s sons, listening to them babble worse than the gossipy women in the palace.

“Your highness, that bow is of the finest craftsmanship, where on Earth did you obtain it?” One of the boys piped up, Roland if Philip could remember by the sight of the boy’s signature red curls and green eyes that glinted with envy and greed as he eyed the prince’s bow.

“It was a gift from King Stefan-” Philip began, but Roland’s eyes widened in shock and he began to laugh.

“Isn’t that the king with the cursed daughter who is fated to die?” Roland asked, the words a bit messy from his laughter, the other boys around them joining him in the laughter, while Philip scowled. “What kind of idiot invites the entire kingdom to a christening, even the disgusting commoners, yet does not invite the most powerful being in the realm?”

“And the Prince here has to marry her, yet she’s been hidden away. I bet they hid her away because she is so ugly and stupid.” Another boy jeered, and Philip felt his spine go stiff.

“You dare to insult my future father in law and my future wife?” Philip’s tone went steely, so much so that the laughter immediately died down and many of the boys exchanged nervous glances. “I highly suggest you hold your tongues, before I find you disfavorable.”

“Forgive me, your highness, I forgot myself.” Roland bowed his head, so that Philip missed the look of unadulterated hatred on the boy’s face. “I will think before I speak next time.” 

Philip merely urged his horse forward, catching up with his father and the hunting party. Someone cried out when a blur of white darted by, then many gaped in awe when they saw it was a buck with pure white fur. King Hubert gave a sharp whistle and the dogs ran after the beast as it darted off. 

The hunting party gave chase, but paused when they realized that the buck had disappeared.

“We should split up to find it.” One of the duke’s piped up, and the rest of the party agreed, many grouping off and heading in different directions. Philip took the time to slip off on his own when he saw the young sons arguing about who he would be hunting with.

The prince rode for quite some time, before seeing a flash of white up ahead. He urged his horse and raced after the buck, heading deeper and deeper into the dark woods. He quickly lost sight of the beast and looked around, realizing he had gotten himself quite lost, entering a small clearing with a sizable river in its center. He cursed softly under his breath, then slid off of his horse, taking in his surroundings.

It was then the buck burst out from the bushes right in front of him. Philip stumbled back a few steps, then found himself falling backwards, right into the icy cold river. As he was engulfed in the water, the young prince struggled against the strong current, but soon found himself growing weak, his heavy clothes beginning to weigh him down. But then something grabbed his arms and he was pulled from the freezing water. 

Laid out on his back, gasping for air, Philip looked over at his saviour, only to be surprised at the sight of a small girl kneeling at his side, dark, dripping hair hiding away most of her face save her downturned mouth.

“W-what..?” He whispered, but then bolted up when the little girl turned on her heel and ran into the forest, disappearing rapidly from sight. The prince sat there, dumbfounded and shivering. He only snapped out of his stupor as he heard the approaching of hooves, his father and his knights bursting from the brush. 

“Phillip! Phillip, my boy, what has happened? Why, you are sopping wet!” The king cried out as knights rushed forward, helping the young prince stand. Philip shook his head in disbelief and stared in the direction the little girl had taken off to. 

…

Maleficent smiled to herself as she watched the hunting party ride off with the wet prince, her hand absently stroking the head of the young girl at her side. 

“You did very well, my dear, very well indeed. I can see already that you have made quite the impression on the young prince.” She mused as she leaned down to scoop the young girl into her arms, holding her close. “You did satisfactory work.”

“I am sorry, mother, I could not get the sense to speak to him. It felt as if my tongue had been turned to stone and I was worried my heart was going to burst. He almost drowned, it was rather frightening.”

“Fret not, I believe you shall have the chance to talk to the prince still. No doubt that that little swim in the river will leave him quite fatigued, perhaps a bit ill. The poor prince will be bedridden, I am sure that you can keep his company.” The dark fairy chuckled softly as she gave Delilah a little pat on the cheek, before her expression turned serious. “You must gain his trust, Delilah. He is to be your betrothed in the future, when you make your rightful claim as a princess.”

“Really? Oh mother, that would be wonderful! He seems to have such kind eyes, mother, and I bet he shall grow to be very handsome.” Delilah’s face lit up with pure joy, the girl already lost in the daydreams of becoming a princess and marrying a handsome prince, of receiving a happily ever after.

“Delilah listen closely,” Maleficent grabbed the young girl by the chin and made her look into her eyes. “, do not believe in such fairytales. You must focus on being a proper princess, of ruling an entire kingdom and becoming queen. Do not let your mind wander up to the clouds and allow yourself to be deluded by such nonsense. You shall never utter anything of such filth ever again, do you understand me?”

“...” Delilah lowered her gaze, but slowly nodded her head. “Yes mother.”

…

Phillip glared out the window of his bedroom, bundled up in the thick blankets the servants had covered him with. After he had been brought back to the castle and fussed over by several physicians, the young prince had been forced to stay in bed while everyone else enjoyed a banquet downstairs. He felt rather bittered to be missing out on such a festive occasion, but it did save him from having to converse with the sons of those noblemen. 

“I did not wish to eat deer anyhow, I must prefer rabbit.” He grumbled, crossing his arms as he watched the sun just beginning to set. But he sat up abruptly as he saw a pair of small hands appear over the rail of his balcony, then remained seated in stunned silence as the little girl from earlier boosted herself up and over the railing, landing on the stone with a soft thud. 

The prince watched as the small girl brushed back her wild mane of black hair, revealing an almost cherubic face with large brown eyes. She smoothed down the skirt of her simple grey dress before turning towards the bedroom, only to freeze at the sight of him watching her. 

“How.. How did you manage to climb all the way up here?” Phillip was on his feet in seconds, rushing over to the girl as she stumbled a few steps back and pressed up against the railing. 

“O-oh, I climbed using the ivy. It is rather thick..” Delilah felt her tongue go heavy once again. The young prince had changed from his royal regalia to a simple tunic and breeches, his hair slightly mussed, looking less like a royal prince and more like a common village boy. But he could never shake off that royal aura he had about him, something that had Delilah curtsying just as her mother had taught her. “I beg pardon, your highness, but I wished to see if you were alright. You took such a nasty tumble into the river, I was afraid for your health.” 

“So it was you that saved me.. Why did you not stay? I owe you my life, allow me and my father to repay you for your bravery!” Phillip reached out and grasped the young girl’s hands, trying hard not to think of how much more tiny she was compared to him. She was almost two heads taller than him. 

“No!” Delilah blurted out, causing the prince to flinch as if struck. Panic instantly flooded her veins and she grasped his hands back, tugging him closer. Mother would be very cross if she were to be discovered by anyone else in the castle. “I mean, please your highness I need to reward. I am just thankful that you are safe and sound home. I am but a simple peasant girl, I could not possibly be rewarded. Besides.. Other nobles, they.. They are not as kind to me as you are. I would just rather hear your thanks alone.”

Phillip stared at the girl, mulling over all she had just said, before finally giving her a firm nod. His lips quirked when he heard her stomach growl. 

“Very well. May I at least give you some food? I would not be a very good prince if I did not at least feed one of my most loyal subjects.” The prince bowed and went towards the cord that would summon a servant to his room.

Meanwhile, Maleficent watched the entire scene from her staff, a slow smile spreading across her face as she stroked Diablo’s soft feathers. 

“Did I not tell you, my pet? This girl shall be a better asset for me in the end.”

Taglist:@magicalfirebird @bluediva @valeks-princess @ifluffysquirrel @primeemeraldheiress @2sunchild2 @gingerdaile @totellismert @reyna-avila-ramirez-alreanaldo @zebrabaker @cupcakeandkisses @bluerosette23 @ranger-gothamite @cherrycokewrites @chaotic-chaton @krispydefendorpolice @actual-human-disaster @internally-confused-what @awesome-starfish-and-tacos: @dawnwave16 @mandy984 @myazael @vespersong @sparkle9510

[tundrainafrica]

Title: My Sweetest Downfall

Summary: 

"The history books forgot about us and the bible didn’t mention us. Not even once."

A century after the war ended, one student gets a little too interested in the relationship between the commander and captain.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Note: Just a short self indulgent fic because I realized "Samson" by Regina Spektor fits Levi and Hange’s relationship a little too well.

You are my sweetest downfall.

I loved you first.

The memories were still connected.

It had been more than a century since the war ended but somehow people still saw the Eldians and the titans in their dreams. They saw it in the blood that splattered as the colossal titans flattened it. They saw it in the terrified faces as the titans approached the lands.

Even wide awake, they were never spared of the horrors. The Reiss family always made sure to remind the Eldians of the massacre that occurred that wiped away the whole world through history classes and tours around the most important places in Paradis. Always ending with one final message. Never again.

Samantha found herself in one of those dreams during one of those tours one day. The tours were nothing new. They were an alternative to classroom learning, to make the history lessons a little more memorable.

“Today, we will be following the formation of the alliance. If you remember from our last class…”

They were supposed to take down the founding titan. Everyone was silent. They all knew what happened already.

The founding titan finished its mission then disappeared. The curse was broken. The only country not left a wasteland by the disaster was Paradis.

And its Paradis’ duty to rebuild the world.

The silence around her and that brief moment of respite was what gave Samantha some leeway to look around and observe her surroundings. She couldn’t help but think, the forest must have looked the same centuries ago. The trees were too big to have been any younger.

So did the soldiers see the same view I’m seeing now? Suddenly, as she reflected on that thought, a brief realization dawned on her. Those same soldiers heard, saw, felt and experienced things she had only ever read about. They suffered in more ways that she could even imagine and fathom.

She shuddered at that conclusion, so violently that she found herself sprawled painfully on the dirt trodden path of the forest, a small glade where the weeds were starting to grow. She had tripped on the weeds.

“Hey are you okay?”

Her knee was bleeding and dirty. Her clothes were stained brown. They weren’t going home anytime soon. Any other day, something like that should have ruined her day. As she stood up and brushed whatever dirt off of her chest, she was far from angry. Apathetic maybe? A good balance between annoyed and curious. Or maybe her mind was just elsewhere.

The memories of the Eldians were connected. Samantha was seeing a memory of an Eldian who had lain in that same ground only a century ago.

“Maybe we should just live here together. Right Levi?”

                               My Sweetest Downfall

Captain Levi and Commander Hange.

Along with most if not all the members of the alliance and the survey corps, those two were household names. She recognized Hange Zoe by her chestnut brown hair, those almond eyes and the eyepatch. She had seen their photos many times when she opened the textbook and willed herself to memorize every event from the establishment of the survey corps to the formation of the alliance to prepare for a long test the next day

Captain Levi and Commander Hange were inseparable. It was evident in every group photo. But it was only natural that that was the case. In classes they would describe Levi as Hange Zoe’s right hand man. They were the two oldest veterans in the survey corps and they had worked together for over a decade before the establishment of the alliance.

Of course they would have trusted each other the most.

Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth. I have to go, I have to go

From the establishment of the survey corps to the formation of the alliance and the defeat that came after. She did not need to think hard to recall that Commander Hange did not make it until the end of the war. To buy the alliance time, she sacrificed herself and killed as many colossal titans as she could after quickly appointing the duty of commander to Armin.

Your hair was long when we first met

“Samson’s strength came from his hair.”

Samson and Delilah. In English class, they were reading thousand year old romances. Samantha’s mind was still in the one hundred year love story that had made itself at home in her mind and it looked like they had no plans of leaving soon.

Samson went back to bed

Not much hair left on his head

He ate a slice of Wonder Bread

And went right back to bed

“Levi, you have to eat more. Who knows how long you’ve been lying there after the explosion.” Despite her insistence, all Hange got in return was some unintelligible grumbling.

“Come on, I don’t want you to di--.” The word got caught in her throat and Hange found herself looking away. I’m just a little tired. She thought to herself. But do people cry when they're tired?

“One slice.” Levi managed to say.

It ended up being less than a slice. Hange had enough experience with soldiers to know though that if she had fed him anymore, he probably wouldn’t have been able to keep it down.

Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads

But they're just old light, they're just old light

Samson came to my bed

Told me that my hair was red

Told me I was beautiful

And came into my bed

Hange had always found the night sky beautiful. In fact, that was the only thing she could still lose herself in. Despite the dreariness of the night and the hopelessness of the situation, the night sky’s beauty was unchanging and unwavering.

“Your hair… looks red.”

“What?” 

“Under the moonlight… it looks a little red.”

“You’re the first person who’s ever told me that.”

Maybe he was the only one who cared enough to notice.

Oh, I cut his hair myself one night

A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light

And he told me that I'd done alright

And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light

And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

“Hold still. I need to change your bandages.”

It turned out, Levi was good at staying still. Hange was sure he was in a lot of pain. She saw it in the way he clenched his jaw and his fists. There shouldn’t have been any recoil as she cut through the bandages but even that slight movement had him recoiling. Hange wondered if with just the action of cutting bandages, she was applying unnecessary pressure on his wounds, and consequently, pain.

Levi was awake the whole time. Despite that, changing bandages was a smooth and peaceful process.

“You did a good job. I’ve changed bandages multiple times before for injuries like this. You’re the first one who didn’t even make a peep.”

“Maybe you just did a good job,” Levi said.

She didn’t notice at first but as she had been slowly leaning closer to Levi since a while ago.

I just need to get a closer look at his wounds. That had been her first excuse.

Something at the back of her mind was protesting that though. She didn’t need to look that closely to see the state of his injuries.

Then he kissed her. He only needed a slight movement from his end. That was how close Hange had been to him. Before Hange could comprehend what had happened, she willed herself to close her eyes and instead chose to enjoy the moment.

When she finally opened her eyes, it was morning and they had a war to fight.

                                         My Sweetest Downfall

“Didn’t you tell me before that history is an argument? This is an argument. Why can’t I take this topic for my final research?” Samantha asked.

Her teacher sighed. “Your arguments should be evidence based. Do you have any evidence that Commander Hange and Captain Levi were in a relationship? Do you have letters? Documents?”

“I could look for mo--”

“Besides, they wouldn’t have had time anyway. They had a war to fight.” He continued, as if Sam hadn’t just tried to answer him a second ago. “How much content do you have anyway?”

My dreams. She would have wanted to argue.

She had been a student long enough to know that he wanted hard facts. The harsh reality was, there were no hard facts to go by. The week before, she had spent her time scouring the libraries for anything about the two of them. There were records on Hange Zoe and records on Levi Ackerman but no records that had connected them together as more than comrades in the military.

Why do you keep seeing love in everything? She scolded herself, a way to quell the disappointment inside her as she exited the faculty room. Maybe it was her immaturity that had spurred her to see the romance in that. She had spent weeks on that proposal and she had to start from nothing again.

Even when she tried to forget them, the dreams continued to haunt her for a while longer but she didn’t mind. She wanted to know what had happened to the commander and to the captain.

The last dream she ever remembered was watching the sky. As she looked closer, she saw Commander Hange flying, killing colossal after colossal as she soared.

It was her first time seeing that scene but she recognized it almost instantly.

That was Commander Hange’s heroic sacrifice, the one they had recounted in textbooks.

In the distance, she heard something else, something her textbooks had failed to mention.

One final farewell. See you later, Hange.

Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down

Yeah, we couldn't destroy a single one

And the history books forgot about us

And the Bible didn't mention us

And the Bible didn't mention us, not even once

[ubernoxa]

The Dare: A Guns an’ Roses Fanfic

Chapter 37: Great Party Mags

Pairing: Duff/OC

Story Summary: A stupid harmless dare, that’s all it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be something they would do, and never revisit. For Delilah, little did she know that visiting the strip wasn’t going to be a one time thing when she made the choice to accept the dare. Life is full of choices. Some choices can mean absolutely nothing, while others can change your entire world. Delilah had heard many rumors about the Sunset Strip or Devil’s Strip. Teenagers would whisper stories about how the Devil walks the streets of the strips without a care in the world. It was known as a place untouched by God. After years of hearing rumors about the Devil’s Strip, Delilah wants to see it for herself. Thus a Dare was born.

Masterlist

Taglist: @gingerspicetalks @str4nge-haze @dustnbones @queen-crue

The girls had swarmed him all night, and he felt like a damn king. They all wanted to fuck a rockstar, but sadly he only had time for one. Axl put on his boot and checked his hair in the bathroom mirror. He smiled at his reflection in the mirror, he could get used to this. The elaborate mansion and girls were one of the many perks he was looking forward to when Guns made it big.

The live band still played and he wanted to groan as they butchered another Motley Crue song. He was never a fan of Motley, but it burned his ears to hear a song that was born on Sunset Strip butchered. He was promised a rock band and they were mediocre at best. He smirked to himself at the thought of the band getting booed off stage. They would never survive the strip. They could play some cover songs, but they were missing the spark, that special thing that makes someone remember them. They were just a bunch of rock wannabes who live off their parent’s money. They were 100% forgettable.

“Heeey, you’re that singer right? I saw you sing last week!” A brunette stumbled over towards him, partially spilling her drink on the table next to him.

“Axl Rose the one and only,” Axl looked her up and down, a model, he told himself. She must be some sort of model.

Axl’s attention was pulled from the brunette model as a familiar face caught his attention. A face he had only seen once. A face he hoped he wouldn’t have to see again.

Axl lost control of his feet as he slowly walked over towards Matt, Del’s ex-fiancé, who was standing off in a hallway. An unsettling feeling filled Axl as he slowly walked into the hallway where Matt was.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Axl shouted, making sure to pull all attention towards him.

“It’s a party Axl. I thought a trash wannabe rocker like you would know that,” Matt laughed back.

“Axl,” Del shot out of the room at the sound of the singer’s voice. When she opened the door, she Alsace a situation that was already out of hand. Matt was pushed against the hallway wall, pinned by Axl, unable to move. With one of his hands tightly wrapped around Matt’s collar, Axl held him in the air. Axl’s other hand formed a fist, waiting for Matt to give him one last reason to best the living shit out of him.

Axl shot a quick look at Del, fear was laced in her tone as she stepped forward.

“Did they touch you?” Axl’s voice was sharp as he spoke. Del could tell he was drinking, and that wasn’t the most unsettling part. There was nothing more wild than a drunk Axl hungry for blood,

“No Ax..I’m fine. They just wanted to invite me to a small party for a childhood friend of mine. The party is to celebrate her engagement, nothing more,” Del talked in a soft voice in hopes to calm him down.

“Give me a reason Del. Give me a reason not to punch him in the fucking face,” Axl’s tone was soft, but laced with poison as he spoke. He could feel Matt’s breath, wild and out of control like a bunny that was about to be devoured by a wolf.

“Because he is not fucking worth it Ax. He is nothing, but a washed up piece is shit. Punching him won’t make anything better,” on the outside Del maintained a calm composure, but on the inside all hell had broken loose. She hated Matt. She hated the bruises he left on her arm. She hated the way he talked to her. Despite everything, she wanted to see Axl beat the living shit out of Matt. She wanted to see him pay the price, but that wasn’t right. That would only make things worse. Violence would always bring more violence. She looked back at Axl who was currently staring down Matt like a wolf about to devour his prey.

Del quickly turned towards Mark, remembering his threat about telling Duff that she was sleeping with Axl. It was a lie, a complete and utter lie. She didn’t want to take the chance that Duff would believe her over them, she didn’t want their lie to plant a seed of doubt into Duff’s head. She loved him, she truly did.

“Axl, they aren’t worth it,” this time Del���s voice was sharp as she spoke.

Axl let go of Matt who stumbled over towards Mark, pure terror filling his eyes.

“Don’t forget these,” Matt said, handing Del the pillow and blanket that she originally came for. That’s right, Del reminded herself. She still had a task she had to complete. She had to help Mags.

When Del walked next to him to grab the items, he whispered, “see you Sunday.” She didn’t respond as she took the items for Mags and headed down the hallway, wanting to get as far away from Mark and Matt as possible.

Del wanted to cry. She wanted to break down and cry, but as she heard Axl’s boots against the tiled floor, she knew she had to keep it together.

“Where is Duff?” Del looked over towards Axl who resembled a volcano about to erupt.

“Upstairs taking care of another problem,” Del’s tone was sharp, but it didn't go far. She knew that he could see the tears that lingered in her eyes as he walked next to her. She wanted to leave this party as soon as possible, and didn’t have time for silly tears.

“He shouldn’t have left you,” Axl seemed to calm down a little, but not enough to put Del at ease.

“You should stop in a bathroom before we meet up with Duff,” Axl pointed out, causing Del to stop dead in her tracks.

“Why?” The moment she spoke those words, Axl placed his hand on her forearm, and for the first time Del saw something in Axl’s eyes.

The chaos or passion that resided in them was replaced with concern. That’s when it clicked in Del’s head. Axl knew. Axl put the pieces together, and saw the big picture on what was going on.

“Because he will want you to tell him what happened if you present yourself like this,” the pair of them remained frozen in another hallway lined with mirrors. Del turned her head and a ghostly figure in front of her.

“And you don’t seem to want to talk about it,” Axl added.

She knew it was herself that was standing in the mirror. Her hair was still styled the same way and she was wearing the same clothes as earlier, but that’s not what Axl was hinting at. He saw the sadness that had developed in her own eyes. He recognized the fear that was laced across her features.

“Can you bring these to Mag’s she is up one more floor and in the bathroom of the third room on the right?” Axl simply shook his head no.

“Why?” Del shot back, nor understanding Axl’s reluctance.

“If you think I am going to let you walk around this party while Matt and Mark are here you are dead wrong,” Del nodded her head as she handed Axl the pillow and blankets and headed off towards the nearest bathroom. The sound of Axl’s boots on the tile floor filled the hallways.

Once inside, she slammed the door shut and locked it. When the first tear fell, the rest followed like a dam breaking and flooding a city.

Why? Why must they come back to her? Why couldn’t she escape her life?

“Everything will be fine,” Del said into the mirror. It was a lie that she was hoping that she, herself would believe.

There really wasn’t a reason for Duff to not want to go to the party. Granted he knew about her old life and how toxic it was, so maybe he did have a reason. Her mind spiraled again and again until she felt like it was going to explode.

Only a quiet knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Go away Axl,” Del shouted through the door still trying to deal with the tornado that was tearing through her head.

“Try again,” Del shot to her feet and unlocked the door without hesitation at the sound of his voice. She pulled Duff in close, tears still streaming down her face.

As she pulled away, she felt Duff begin to kiss the tears that remained on her cheeks. He then pulled her in close again, sending a thankful knod in the singer’s direction.

Axl stood watching, waiting for this moment to be over. He hated it so much when Duff cradled Del in his arms. He hated how she nuzzled her head deeper into his chest as he whispered sweet nothing into her ear. But most of all, he hated himself for fucking some chick, instead of watching over Del. To him, this was all his fault. He was the reason they ended up going to the party in the first place. Granted, Del brought it up, but he could have easily said no. Mags being here was a good enough reason to say no, and not a soul would have questioned it.

“God this party sucks,” Del mumbled, trying to get rid of the tension that had grown in the hallway and distract Duff from his current state.

“The band playing sucked too,” Duff added.

“Well that’s not a very nice to say,” Del replied in a teasing manner before wrapping her arms around Duff’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss as she stood on her toes in an attempt to match his height.

Del’s fingers mindlessly played with Duff’s hair as she felt his warm lips on her own. He tasted like peppermint vodka, quite an odd combo but still tasted like Duff.

Axl immediately left the scene since he had little desire to watch the pair make out. He took a deep breath before climbing the stairs to go check on Mags. With every step he questioned whether or not he was doing the right thing.

When he ran upstairs to get Duff after Del had locked herself in the bathroom for at least 10 minutes, he simply dropped the blankets off in front of the bathroom door and knocked before heading off with Duff to make sure that Del was right.

He determined that there were three reactions she could have when he knocked on the bathroom door for the second time to check on her. The first, the most likely, is that she would put on her tough face and cuss him out. The second is that she wouldn’t open the door for him, completely ignoring his presence. The third, without the doubt the least logical, is that she would let him check on her to make sure she was okay.

Axl knocked on the door and was immediately met with a messy haired Mags who had clearly enjoyed the pillow and blanket he brought her. After a couple of seconds of silence, Axl spoke. “How are you?”

“Ohh, Axl I’m fucking fantastic! I could honestly go run a marathon right now,” Axl smiled at her sarcasm as she spoke. At Least she was doing better. She was back to her old self of being a bitch to him, it was idly comforting.

“Good,” Axl replied, not wanting to add any sassy remarks and potentially angering her.

“Good?” She cocked an eyebrow at the red headed singer, confused on why he wasn’t being a complete dick.

“Yeah because that dick ass reporter Drew is downstairs and he doesn’t deserve you or your kid,” Axl spoke motioning toward her belly.

“Yeah..” Mags mumbled.

“Unless it isn’t his kid…” Axl said no louder than a whisper. He had to ask, he couldn’t help himself. He walked in on Mags and Duff fucking on their nasty ass couch. Granted it didn’t truly matter they were fucking at the time because neither of them had met Del yet, but Duff deserved to know if it was his kid.

“It’s Drew’s kid,” Mags shot back. She shook her head, she had done the math hundreds of times. There could be no way that it could be Duff’s kid, the timeline just didn’t add up.

Axl nodded his head, not truly believing her.

“Speaking of the giraffe, he is downstairs with Del. Apparently Mark and Matt, from her old life, had some words with Del,” Once Axl started talking Mags let him inside the bathroom. She needed to know what caused Del to cry in the bathroom, and she knew she wouldn’t be getting the story from Del. If she had the story, then she would be able to help Del later.

A knock on the bathroom door ended their conversation prematurely, but Axl was able to get through most of the story. Axl was surprised to see Izzy on the other side of it clearly ready to leave.

“You good?” Axl turned towards Mags as he spoke.

“Yeah, I’ll live another day,” Mags replied. For a quick second, a dangerous thought entered Mags’ brain. Maybe Axl wasn’t a complete dick.

“Is my brother coming with us?” Mags asked as she walked into the bedroom that adjoined the bathroom where she spent most of the party.

“Nah, him and his girl are staying. We didn’t tell him about how your night went because we didn’t want him to go all protective brother on you. If you want we can grab him real fast…” Mags quickly interrupted Duff before he could continue, “Nope, my brother doesn’t need to know what happened tonight.

Del sent Mags a concerned look which she quickly shrugged off as she walked over to give her a quick hug.

“I’m sorry,” Mags whispered in Del’s ear only loud enough for her to hear.

As they headed down the stairs, and outside the mansion Izzy took a quick look behind him to double check the space that had grown between their two groups. The first group which consited of only him and Axl was able to easily navigate through the party without any problem. Unlike the second group which consisted of Mags, Del, Duff and Slash. I say smirked as he saw Duff carrying a very drunk Slash on his back who was clearly the reason why they were so far behin. He chuckled to himself, a drunk slash can be one of the most distracted people he had ever met.

Upon confirmation that the second group wouldn’t hear what he was about to say he turned towards Axl.

“Are you going to tell me why your pants weren’t compellty buttoned when you opened the bathroom door?” Axl almost stopped in his tracks at Izzy’s question; however, he kept walking in fear of Izzy further misinterpreting his actions.

“WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH, I was just talking with her to make sure she was okay. Apparently Drew was there,” Axl watched as a small smirk formed on Izzy’s face.

“What?” Axl hissed, worried that Izzy wasn’t believing his story.

“I punched Drew in the face. It was really satisfying, you should try it sometime,” Axl couldn’t help but join Izzy in laughing.

“It’s on my bucket list. He has one of those very punchable faces. Anyway, how was tonight for your little business?” Axl asked, earning a sly smile from Izzy.

“Good,” was Izzy’s only response before hopping in the truck. Him being the only sober one, meant he was stuck driving back to the hell house.

It only took a couple of minutes before the second group piled into the car and they headed off towards home.

“Great party Mags, 10/10!” Slash shouted over the music.

Del and Mags immediately locked eyes and broke out into a contagious laughter that filled the truck.

[astraeal]

Commission for @thedashasaproblem! Hope you enjoy; read it on AO3 here.

Farmer Marie, original character, belongs to @thedashasaproblem. Stardew Valley, and all characters and settings therein, belongs to concernedape.

“Okay! We have quite a few things we need to get done today. Marnie called – you know how I asked her to let us know if she had any more available chicks? Yes? – and said there were some new ones we could pick up, which is perfect and just in time because Robin wrapped up the coop yesterday! And that means we need fresh hay in the coop, and if we need to restock the silo then we’ll mow too. Bessie needs to be milked and we’ll check if Sweetpea has any this morning or if she’s still nursing – ugh, little Delilah is going to be so stunning when she grows up, I can feel it. Oh, and good morning babe!”

Elliott blinks from where he’d stumbled into the kitchen, his hair thrown into a messy bun and loose auburn strands hanging around his face. He is in no way prepared for Marie’s chipper enthusiasm, but that’s what made him love her, after all. And, this entire situation is something he brought upon himself.

Head full of fantastical pastoral fantasies, he’d asked Marie to keep him appraised of what it takes to run Shady Land Farm. He was good with books, which was helpful – while Marie was running about the Valley in search of delicious fruits and rare stones, Elliott appointed himself the financier of Marie’s assets.

It had been difficult; he’d consolidated sticky notes scattered about the house with haphazard reminders about supplies owed to Robin, and items to sell to Pierre at the general store vs. what should be distributed to townsfolk directly, and birthday reminders, and favorite gifts, and occasional notes written in a script he couldn’t parse but appearing on a fantastical dark blue page that made his writer’s intuition spark. (That, and his fingers burned a little whenever he held such a note, as if it knew that he was not the intended recipient, but he never let Marie know that.)

After his book tour had completed, he had taken the better part of their first fall together to consolidate these notes and square the books. It had been helpful when Marie decided to go forward with the basement upgrade, and suddenly Shady Land’s wines and cheeses were worth quite a lot more. They’d only recently begun talking about incorporating more animals into the farm, hence the phone call to Marnie. With the addition of more animals, and Marie’s additional time spent working on repairing the old Community Center, Elliott wanted to assist more. It was only fair, after all; he still got most of his writing done at night, and there was no reason he couldn’t spend more of his mornings helping around the farm.

Marie had been ecstatic, of course, and he’d glowed with the anticipated appreciation for his efforts. So far, it hadn’t been that difficult. Sprinklers handled most of the watering, and with Marie’s clear eye for design, he wasn’t getting lost in the fields as he had feared he would.

But he still wasn’t a morning person, and his brain isn’t entirely on all the way, especially when his wife has inundated him with information and her beautiful visage so early in the morning.

Marie looks up at him, wide blue eyes and a warm smile on her face, blonde hair tucked away in two braids that usually resided beneath her sunhat. The hat now rests on the worn kitchen table, two steaming mugs of coffee and cozy breakfast platters set on the table. Still processing his wife’s words, Elliott makes his way to the second breakfast platter and pours some milk into his coffee, knowing he’ll need it to make it through the day.

“Good morning, my dear,” he murmurs as he finishes those first three blessed gulps of caffeinated beverage. “Would you like me to fetch the chicks? Or shall I stay on the homestead and you venture to the forest?”

Marie takes a bite of her eggs, done up with some goat cheese – “I bought it from Pierre but when we get some we’ll make our own, and it’ll be probably fresher than this stuff!” – potatoes, and sausage in her own little scramble. Elliott’s breakfast is far more tame, scrambled eggs and farm fresh cheese, with toast on the side.

“If you want to take Miss Daisy to Marnie’s, that would be great! She could use an excursion, and she loves the woods.” Marie sets her hand – soft, thanks to the gloves she uses, but still strong and capable – over Elliott’s wrist. “If you don’t mind, that is. I know coming back with newborn chicks might be a little…difficult.”

He warms at her touch. “I’m sure Marnie has a basket or some such thing I could use, don’t fret darling. She’d never let anything happen to the animals in her care.”

Marie smiles at him, and pecks his cheek. “Alright, babe, I’ll head down to the barn –”

“Oh, I can do that!” He blushes a little after his outburst, but still gives his wife a smile. “Let me handle the animals today, my dear. The first fruits of spring will be in the orchard, and you’ve got a better sense for flora than I.”

They both remember the catastrophic effort in Elliott’s old cottage when he watered his rose with sea water and was confused as to why it was dying. That had been one of the many points Elliott began to consider Marie as more than a friend.

She gives him a look clearly conveying that she’s thinking of the same moment he is. “Well, alright. Apricots and cherries, what a combination. Oh! And the wine! I’ll be right back!” She darts away, down the basement stairs, presumably to see if any wine has finished maturing yet. Some things she pulls out early, just for a little extra cash – Gus is always appreciative of a finer quality of any type of ingredient, especially alcohol.

Elliott knows it will take her a little while to check each barrel, so he quickly finishes his breakfast and coffee, and then stands, ready to take on the day.

First, to get himself prepared.

Then, to tend to Miss Daisy.

♢♢♢

Marie loses some time in the basement, checking each and every barrel, weighing the pros and cons of switching out some of the wine barrels for cheese barrels. With Bessie and Sweetpea both producing such quality milk, Shady Land has a near excess of cheese and she knows Gus would pay a fair amount to have some for his pizzas and salads.

Then again, better quality cheese keeps her going in the mines and other excursions, so there might be some incentive to keep some around? She’d probably ask Elliott for his thoughts, but by the time she surfaces from the basement and sees the clock perched over the coffee maker in the kitchen, she realizes it’s already 2:49pm.

She’d left her husband alone for hours. Elliott isn’t incompetent, but there’s still etiquette for handling new animals, especially babies, and all of Grandpa’s farming books are written in family shorthand, something she’d been meaning to teach Elliott but just kept forgetting.  

Alarmed, Marie runs out to the front porch, expecting some sort of catastrophe. Bessie to be loose – not that she’d do much but perhaps wander up towards the house and eat a few tulips or something – or maybe Aspen to have fallen into the lake (again) but instead all’s quiet. She can hear the soft bells hanging from Bessie, Sweetpea, and little Delilah, but she can’t see them through the orchard.

She doesn’t run, lest she startle anyone, but she heads towards the tree line as quickly as she can. As she approaches, she can hear her husband’s voice. She quiets her steps as she enters the dappled shade of the orchard, the apple and orange trees still dormant for the season, yet producing beautiful flowers regardless. A sweet spring wind guides some fallen petals towards her, beautifully framing the tender scene she sees before her.

Elliott sits on a stump, Miss Daisy, Bessie, and Sweetpea, grazing peacefully beside him. He and little Delilah, however, are looking down, enraptured with three small fuzzy brown and golden chirping fluffy chicks in the grass. The chicks are barely visible from her current distance, but as Elliott straightens up his long hair goes back into place, revealing a fourth little chick curled up in his hand, which he gives little pets to every once in a while.

“You’re not too different from the crab that once lived in my pocket,” the story crafter begins, murmuring to the little chick in his hand. The chick chirps in response, and Elliott chuckles. “I haven’t told you that story yet? Well, I absolutely should.”

Marie takes another small step forward, not wanting to encroach on the moment nor startle any of the beings involved. The more she watches the scene, the more she sees things she hadn’t before. Like how all the adult females stood firmly on the edge of the lake, prohibiting the chicks, Elliott, or Aspen from wandering too close to it. And a small – hopefully empty – milk pail sits next to the stump, as if her husband had finished a chore and then simply couldn’t be away from the chicks for much longer.

What gives her away is another small fluff ball in the grass, this one bigger than the chicks, a brilliant white that rockets out of the higher grass and directly into Marie’s arms.

“Aspen! Who’s a good boy?” she coos, on reflex. Miss Daisy looks nonplussed, as if she knew Marie was there the entire time, while Delilah startles a little and runs back to the safety of Sweetpea.

Elliott also startles, which startles the chicks, who all climb and jump up his pant legs and into his lap, chirping loudly until they can take cover in the safety of Elliott’s lap. “Darling! I didn’t hear you arrive!” He looks caught red handed, though with what, Marie’s not sure.

She walks over, Aspen tucked to her chest, and sees with no small amount of relief that the milk pail isn’t full of milk, but rather water. Now, she can also see a small basket, no doubt from Marnie, in which the chicks probably arrived.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to disrupt…you just looked so cute, babe! Everyone treating you nicely?” Marie leans forward, letting Aspen back down to the ground, and gives an affectionate rub to Miss Daisy, who wandered over searching for some treats.

Elliott blushes, visible even with the mid-spring flush he seems to always have on him. “Yes, quite. Everyone has been remarkably kind to me. Miss Daisy had to guide us home herself! I was, ah, a little preoccupied with the newest young ones.”

The wind picks up a little, carrying more flower petals through the air. Elliott’s long auburn waves glint caramel in the sun, unfurling to the side, revealing the turquoise earring usually kept tucked away. Marie had mined that turquoise herself; the earring had been a wedding gift from Clint, repurposing a stone Marie had sold him a few weeks prior to their proposal. (She had briefly wondered if maybe Clint and Elliott had been in on it together, as the timing was so perfect, but maybe she was simply overthinking things.)

Elliott looks completely at home, sitting cross-legged on the stump, worn down by spring rains. With the chicks in his lap and the errant flower petals in his hair, the man looks ever more like a regal prince from all the books and movies Marie had seen growing up.

“They’ve taken a liking to you,” she observes, reaching a finger in to give gentle pets to the soft downy chicks. They accept them, curious and cautious in their new home, but feeling brave under Elliott’s protection. “Have you thought of any names?”

Her husband looks up, green eyes wide. “Names? Oh, darling, I thought that was all you.”

“Nonsense! You picked them up, you should at least be able to name them. These ladies will need fine names, if they’re to live here on Shady Land. And you’re a writer, names are what you do!”

The chicks chirp in agreement, looking up at Elliott.

“Well…I was thinking this one could be Carmelina,” he murmurs, touching the lightest brown one. “Caramel, for the color, but the full name also means “vineyard of Yoba” so I find that fitting for the main exports of Shady Land, don’t you?”

Marie blinks. “You…knew the meaning of the name on the spot?”

“Of course! Clara was almost named Carmelina in Camellia Station, but I thought that would be too close to the title of the book, so I changed it. Still kept the C though.” He gets that wistful look on his face, a little lost in thought, as he usually does when trying to come up with next big ideas for his writing career.

The farmer giggles, giving more pets to Miss Daisy, who finally nosed out the cookies in Marie’s pockets. She gives one to her steadfast companion, looking at her husband with a newfound appreciation.

She takes a seat on the stump beside Elliott, looking up at him as they discussed further names for the chicks. The sun dripped down through the orchard’s branches, spreading dappled shadows up the short grassy expanse. Eventually, the cows and Miss Daisy wander back to their respective barns and stables, and the chicks doze off in Elliott’s lap. Marie delicately takes a couple – the newly named Carmelina and Dahlia – and heads off to the newly constructed coop to set them inside.

The chicks barely move when they’re set down in their new hay lined beds, clearly Elliott’s handiwork while Marie was tending to the house. The two of them hold hands, walking through the fields of Shady Land.

“You know, we could wash up and head to town. Get a late lunch at the Saloon, then maybe walk down by the beach?” Marie suggests, watching her husband for his response. She likes to spend as much time with him as possible before she loses him to his nightly writing routine, and there’s something a little tender about meandering down by the places they had fallen in love.

Elliott beams, nearly glowing with happiness. “That sounds delightful, dear. I’ll be sure to put on my best shirt.”

It’s not necessary to dress up for a 4pm lunch at the Stardrop Saloon, but Elliott likes to go the extra mile, and Marie can appreciate the little efforts to glamorize being a farmer’s husband. She kisses his dirt smeared cheek, standing side by side on the porch, and marvels at how far she’s taken the farm since her grandfather had worked the land.

Maybe someday she’d tell her husband about the vision she’d received a couple weeks ago, with her grandfather and the ultimate judging of her efforts so far, and the new, strange, blue flame candles on her grandfather’s shrine in the northwest corner of the farm. Someday. But not today.

“I wonder if Gus will have crab cakes,” she teases, stepping into their home, to the sounds of fire crackling in the fireplace and her husband enthusiastically waxing poetic about his favorite dish in the entire Valley.

Truly, it’s home.

[un-piorthos-et-tous-pour-un]

The thrilling adventures of a PA - Chapter Four : A funny thing happened on the way to Ray’s stand up (Adam Sackler x Reader)

A week as passed since that night at the bar and astonishingly, you’ve managed to stick to your resolution and everything’s back to normal on set. Even Shirley’s cutting you some slack with her quest but that’s because she thinks you’re going out soon with one of the guys you’ve talked with at the bar. A little white lie that you gave her but at least, it worked. Today will be a long day when it comes to waiting ‘cause there’ll be many scenes to shoot, meaning the cast & the crew will move around a lot & wait for everything to be set before actually doing anything. But you got it covered. You managed to install an improvised fitness corner near the trailers park to distract Adam and a couple of other actors between takes. Being idle was a problem around here so you tried to come up with something that would be time consumming but yet easy to make happen and there it was. A few mats on the ground and half a dozen machines moved from a warehouse where they were stored and voilà ! “Anything that makes everyone’s life easier” you remember Delilah’s words on your first day & thought to be just a phrase. Turned out to be all you had to say to the studio’s crew to make it happen.

You’re halfway throught the day when the actor finds you in the parking lot, where you’re talking on the phone with your best friend. He waits awkwardky for you to end the call before he finally says something. - “Are you doing anything tonight ?”, he asks running a hand in his hair as he watches you put your phone away. “I’ve got a friend who’s doing stand up, it’s his first time & I promised him I’ll come by for support. I thought it could be more bearable for me to have someone to suffer with so, if you’re free you could come with. It could be fun...”, he adds rushingly, not letting you say a word, almost as if he tries to avoid you saying no to his invitation. - “I’d love to go, I like stand up, where’s the place ?”, you answer simply, making him frown as he was not expecting you to say that, you could tell. - Uh, it’s in Echo Park I think, I don’t remember the exact address but you can come with me ? You’re off when I am so we can get there together, it’ll be easier for us both, don’t you think ?”, he remarks as you nod in agreement. - “Ok, we’ll meet at your trailer before leaving then, that way we can share a cab”, you reply smiling faintly. Adam nods too now, also smiling & you guess he’s relieved to have somebody coming along for the occasion, not because he was going with you. “Anything else ? Oh, the package will be delivered to your place tomorrow, I’ve checked”, you add, remembering he asked you to take care of that for him a couple of days ago. - “Hm, no, thanks. Great, now I just have to figure out a way to convince my sister to accept the gift”, he replies, setting his hands on his hips, thoughtful. - “I’m sure you’ll come up with something”, you let out as you smile back at him, standing up from your seat. “Let’s get you to the make up trailer now, you’re expected on stage 6 in 30 minutes”, you point out as you’re leading the way already, without making sure he’s following. Because you know he is, you can hear his footsteps for one, but it’s the little grunt he makes as you set off that lets you know his position quite easily. The rest of the day goes by without any other hitch and when Adam’s shot his last scene, he tells you he’ll meet you in a few minutes outisde after he took a quick shower. As usual, he was worked up all the time while filming and indeed, the shower’s not superfluous if you’re about to head out to a closed space for a couple of hours side by side. While he’s showering, you make a stop to your locker, changing to something a bit less casual but nothing too fancy either. A watery green blouse over a pair of jeans, you’ve let your hair down again. You’re on your phone texting whe he comes out of his trailer, also changed and it’s hard for you not to look so you keep your eyes on the screen for a few seconds more. - “The cab should be here in 5 minutes, just when we’ll get to the entrance”, you let him know before you put your phone back in your purse. - “You’ve cleaned up nicely too I see”, he replies as you both start to walk side by side to exit the studios. - “Thank you for that sweet compliment”, you retort half sassing him out for it as you reach the gates, waving Al goodnight and catching the cab in the corner of your eyes. You hail it & both get in together, silence falling immediately between you two. You’re sticking to your plan, not engaging with him if it can be avoided. Not an easy task for you since you’re usually someone warm and talkative but it’s what needs to be done if you want to distance yourself from him. Even if right now he’s sitting next to you, only a few inches away, close enough for you to smell the perfectly recognizable scent of his soap. Pine wood. You loved that smell and it was fitting for a man built like an oak tree. You exchange small talk during the ride & it feels weird. Like you both just met or something and you hate it but you gotta stick to your plan. When you get out of the cab, you walk for a few meters and see there’s a line to get in so you join the queue, still in silence. The air is a bit friskier than you thought but you expect to get in quickly so you don’t say anything. It was your choice not to take a jacket with you so you suck it up like a big girl. - “So it’s his first time doing this ? I thought he was managing a coffee shop”, you finally say as you move up the line a little. - “He still owns the spot yeah, but he wanted to try it out. He thought of it a long time ago & I’ve told him to start with improv but he didn’t like it so he tried stand up instead and here we are”, he replies as he puts back some of his hair, still partially wet from his shower. - “I see”, you nod a bit amused by the tale. “You’re a good friend, showing up for his big night. Even if you dragged me into it too”, you kid but you’re sincere. It’s a nice gesture coming from him, especially since you know Adam’s not that great when it comes to nurture that kind of friendships & how it links him to his ex in a strange way. - “I like spending time with you, that’s nothing new”, he retorts with that damned smile you hate so much because it makes you weak in the knees in less than a second. “I can behave when I want to”, he adds still smiling like an idiot and you shake your head, rolling your eyes in the process. - “See, that’s where I know you’re a great actor, I almost believed you for a second when you said that”, you fight back with a grin. There it was again. The easy banter, the little game you missed so much lately but you have to be careful as you’re getting dangerously close to him again. - “Touché”, he says putting his right hand over his heart, trying to get a perfect french accent & you can’t help but chuckle at the scene. Why is that tall idiot so adorable ? You start to shiver a bit, the waiting line hasn’t moved for some time now and Adam notices. - “Are you cold ? Do you want my jacket ?”, he asks but he’s already taking it off before you say anything. He lands the jacket (a good size too big for you) on your shoulders and the corner of his lips raises a bit. “There kid, don’t you freeze out on me, I need you in there,” he says scanning your face as you look at him. He’s only a few inches away from you, not moving away, his hands still on your shoulders. - “So you’re being chivalrous just for your own interest, huh ? How knightly of you”, you tease him as you look over at the entrance for a second, to see if the line’s about to move. You look up again, seeing he still focused on you. “What ?”, you ask as you’re getting nervous from all that attention on yourself. You’re about to say something else to break the heavy silence but he doesn’t let you do it. Instead, his lips land on yours within a second and you’re stunned. From the surprise mostly. Was this really happening, for real ? But it was. The pressure of those plump lips letting you know it wasn’t just some vivid fantasy. And it that moment, you throw all your resolve to the gutter and kiss him back. It’s the bouncer’s cough that makes you part ways as he announces you two can finally get in. You’re almost out of breath, licking your lips in a reflex motion and floatting in a haze but you manage to blink a few times, seeing the actor smiling at you as his hand lands on the small of your back, guiding you inside. His large stature makes it easy to navigate among the crowd and you both settle at a table near the back, close to the platform serving as the stage tonight. He asks you what drink you want and leaves you when you’ve answered him. A most welcomed pause for you to take in what just happened two minutes ago. Adam just kissed you. Out of the blue. Without any warning. Not that you mind anyway but did it really happened and what was it suppose to mean. That’s what is really a mystery to you right now (& you don’t know it yet but it’ll be something you’ll be asking yourself for the upcoming days). You’re lost in your thoughts, the noise surrounding you helping to let your mind race in every direction, trying to comprehend that whole ordeal. Why did he do that ? Why now ? Why didn’t he say anything after ? Why did you let him kiss you ? Well for that last question, the answer is pretty obvious but doesn’t help you in any way. Still completely lost in your contemplations when he comes back with your drinks, you just nod to thank him & when you’re about to ask him a question, the lights go off announcing the beginning of the set so you bottle up that storm raging in your head for now. You try to enjoy the different sketches, to be a good cheer for those people trying to make you laugh but you’re not really paying attention. It’s selfish but you can’t help it. All you can think of is that kiss. You’ve dreamt about it so many times, almost since you’d met Adam. Many scenarios went through your mind over the time, some rougher than some others but you never pictured it like it actually went down. Simply because those were ideal situations and that reality rarely is. You should have known he wouldn’t say anything, most of men aren’t talkers, especially in these instances. But you’re dying to know, to have your doubts appeased. You don’t want to start imagining things if this is just some game he’s playing with you because he can. Stew warned you about that aspect of the job, but you really hope you’ve read Adam correctly to know he wouldn’t abuse his position over you like that. Talking about him, the last aspiring comic is out of the stage and he’s standing up as Ray’s coming to your table. He introduces you and you all begin to chat a little, rating Ray’s performance (which was quite good from what you’ve heard when you paid enough attention to it). Ray seems to be someone interesting from what you’ve gathered from what Adam told you about him & what you can tell yourself now. He proposes to buy you two a drink but weirdly, it’s Adam who goes to the bar in the end & now you’re sure he’s avoiding the moment when you’ll be alone with him. It hurts, you’re not gonna lie but in a way, you get it. The place is very loud, he’s here for Ray initially but still, at one point or another, you expect some explanation from him. So for now, you play along, get to know Ray a little more and pretend not to think about what happened. When you’re finally taking your leave, you’re pleased you’ve met Ray and leanred more on the actor (his fault entirely, he left you with his friend and you simply asked how the two of them met so off course you got gossip out of said unsuspecting friend quite easily). But you’re still frustrated as hell about that whole situation. Adam insists on walking you home so you think it’s a good sign, that at some point he’ll mention the kiss but no. You chat about tonight, what or who made you laugh during the show case but nothing about what he did in the waiting line. You still don’t push it, not wanting to appear too clingy or desperate even if it has been eating at you for hours. And foolishly, you hope that now that you’re at your place it will give a better setting for him to say something but nothing. He takes back his jacket, wishes you goodnight and sets off in the night, leaving you speechless and even more lost. No need to say that you can’t find sleep once you’re in your bed, the evening’s events roaming in your head constantly. The alarm the next morning is painful for you, since you hardly had any sleep but you get up somehow, motivated to show up earlier at his trailer so you can ask him what’s been burning your brain for the last 12 hours or so. You knock at his door, coffee & bagels still warm, hear him calling you in and feel a little spike in your heartbeat but quickly it comes down whe you realize he’s still acting like nothing happened. It meant nothing. Nothing at all. Just like Stew said it would be. But at least now you know where you’re standing. it doesn’t make it easier, how could it but it’ll teach you a lesson. Never trust someone who’s job is to fake being someone else.

[likesomekindofcheese]

Will You Accept This Rose? Chapter Two (Queen/Beatles Bachelorette AU!)

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: some drinking and cursing, but pretty light I think

Episode Two! A first Impression Rose is chosen! And so is the first one on one and group date, but the course of true love never did run smooth. And the drama is just beginning!

A/N: So who should stay? Who should leave? What should the next date be? How can drama be stirred in this pot? Suggest to me in the comments! After all, you ARE our Bachelorette! Any angsty drama ideas you would like to see as well? Also note, since I updated this fic things have...happened. Should I just replace Chris with someone else? What do you think? Would anyone be upset if I kept Chris Harrison as the host?

Also, shout out to actual legend and date idea goddess @freddiesaysalright​

“I have met quite a few gentlemen today, so this decision is hard. You are all so wonderful…” you pick up the rose, turning it coyly. The other men stand straight, but you can hear the palpitations of their hearts as your own pulse races in tandem. “Deaky…” you turn to him “you're so sweet, and showing me your family and your determination to move on shows so much strength…” Your eyes settle on Ringo for a moment. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim huffed “just announce it already!” Miko sat on his lap and began to knead his pants, tiny claws digging into his skin. Not that he minded. Not on Bachelorette night.

“I loved dancing with you, it made me so happy…” Roger’s golden head then flashes off of your eye. “Roger, that was an incredible entrance-I’m still reeling from it! But if I have to choose…I have to go with my gut on this one…” You turn to Brian. He blinks rapidly and looks around, realizing that it’s him. “Brian, will you accept this rose?” Smiling beautifully, he nods, letting out a breathy “yes!” before hugging you with his long, lean body. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Freddie let out a humph before he looked down at his empty popcorn bowl “Hmmm, that was a tough one! I thought she’d never choose! Good for Brian, though!” “I had a feeling it would be him,” Jim shrugged. “That’s what I read on Reality Steve…” “Why didn’t you say anything!” “You hate spoilers!” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The men dismiss each other, many of them giving you a hug or a slight kiss on the side of your head goodnight. Martha even waddles up to you. “Martha, shake!” Paul ordered. She extends her paw and you accept it, not caring for a bit of grime on your manicured hands. “Sleep well, Paul…” “I definitely will!” he added with a cute wink. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As a week passed, Garden Lodge hummed into normalcy. There was a bit of talk about the episode. By Monday evening, people were done with normalcy. With vegetables and bread. They wanted champagne and cake. They wanted indulgence. They wanted a romance that would sweep their emotions to highs and lows without having to think of their own lives. And so, getting out their ice cream, Jim turned on the television. “Ah, another Tuesday. I love waiting, gives ya something to look forward too-none of the binging!” “Darling, we could binge all the other seasons this summer-shouldn’t we!” “Let’s catch up with the new one, first!” Jim says, popping out the champagne. “Cheers!” he said, he clinked his ice cream bowl with Fred’s.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That next morning, the men sat semi-sleepily around the room. Many blinking their eyes with sleep. John was sipping his coffee, scribbling away in a journal. Brian looked half-dead, his curls in a messy mane but the proud half-smile hidden beneath his hair was undeniable. Paul rubbed the sand out of his eyes and straightened his back as he sat. The others sighed in deeply, tapping their feet or rubbing their hands. Many of them were dressed in the first jeans and shirt they could throw on. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Darling, you’re on television, at least take the time to look decent!” -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Finally, there came a ring on the doorbell, which caused them to jump. “I’ll get it,” Paul volunteered. He returned with two cream envelopes, much to the mixed anxiety and excitement of the other men. “What is it?” Roger asked. “Read it! Now!” Paul carefully undid the label and pulled out the first card. “Roger, Deaky, Ringo, John, Paul, Brian…” He flipped it over. “In order to find love, you have to search for it. Love, Y/N.” The others sighed deeply. A few eyes turned to George. His smile grew devilish knowing what that meant. The other card was opened and Paul read out loud: “George…” He let out a sharp exhale that was half a laugh. “It’s showtime, Love Y/N.” The others looked around in curiosity. “It’s showtime, what on earth could that mean?” Ringo asked, crossing his arms. “It means there will be time, and a show!” the recipient said with a cheeky wiggle of his eyebrows. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- George walked up to the location, thrilled for having the first one on one date. His driver took him to a movie theater, large and almost retro seeming with neon colors in the lights. But there you were, in a nice shirt and jeans and a jacket. “Hello George!” you greeted arms coyly behind your back. “Hey Y/N!” He walked over and hugged you, squeezing you tight. He was soft and warm, it felt like you were hugging a Scouse talking teddy bear. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ “They at least have a bit of chemistry!” Jim commented, finishing the last of his ice cream. Noticing that it was now pure cream with nothing else that would sicken them, he let it on the floor for Delilah to lick up. --------------------------------------------------------------------- “So are we seeing a movie today?” he asked, looking up. “Yup! But not just any move-this one was moving seats!” “What! Then what are we waiting for!?” he asked with a laugh. Gathering as many snacks as he could, both of you settled into your seats. A smiling attendant buckled you both in. George happily shared his large box of popcorn with you. “Aren’t you scared of being sick?” you teased. “It’s movie popcorn, Y/N. That’s the special kind! It’ll be worth it! Oh and these-chocolate crunch!” “Chocolate crunch, that's the best kind of movie candy!” “You think so? What about these lads?” He pulled out a bag of M and M’s. “Pure delicacies, these uns-you’ll ‘ave to stop me from eating it all during the trailers!” he said. As the movie began, the seats whirred up to life. As the movie began, it seemed calm. Like a regular movie. You heard George crunching on his popcorn. He looked over at you and shared his gladly. Your hands were slippery with the butter. There were a couple of scenes where the chairs moved some and you both laughed at that. Then it calmed down, consisting of people talking quietly. “Ey, Y/N-you have the bucket?” “Yes, I do!” “Toss it!” “What?” “Toss the popcorn into me mouth!!” ------------------------------------------------------- “Oh, are we in school darling? You’re not a seal!” --------------------------------------------------- Giggling, you took a kernel. It smacked George in the nose, his jaw clamped to get it. “Let’s try again!” This time, it landed completely in his mouth. You both cheered ad clapped loudly, ignoring the bland dialogue waiting for another car chase. But as the chase began, your seats went into action, lifting up as a character jumped, turning right and left quickly, and circling around. You even applauded at the movement. By the time the credits rolled, you both were out of breath and laughing. George walked out, surprised that his eyes did not have to adjust to the brightness of day as it became evening. Both of you walked outside for a bit before returning back home to the mansion, letting hours pass and your own jeans traded for a form-fitting green dress. George waited for you at the bottom of the stairs in a nice suit. “They’ve got dinner for us-got some room?” you asked. “For dinner? Always!” ------------------------------------------ “Does he never gain a pound? Popcorn fills your stomach full!” Jim shook his head before he poured some whiskey to warm up after the ice cream. -------------------------------------------------------- Both of you got into the limo, making your way out to a nice restaurant. It had tall, pale walls with long, creamy curtains hanging down. Italian food was served with wine so clear it looked like water until you smelled it and had a sip. “Okay George, what moves do you like?” He began to cut up his meatball. “I enjoyed Citizen Kane-“ “Really!” “Yes! Not too boring isn’t it? Like saying Mozart’s your favorite composer or whatever!” he questioned his hands in front of him. “No! What else?” you asked, delicately wiping your lips with your napkin before returning it to your lap. “I love Monty Python’s stuff. Oh god, The Holy Grail, Life of Brian? Masterpieces! Was on the floor the first time I saw em! What about you?” he gushed, his dark eyes large with excitement. You discuss movies, what you saw, what made you laugh, and what made you cry and feel things for a good hour. Who knew how much would be broadcasted? But you didn’t care. You knew how it worked. The drama would arrive. But for now, you wanted to have fun. “What about growing up? Did they…did they mean anything to you? Seeing movies and shows and stuff? I was addicted as a kid…” you started. “They meant a lot. I mean, I love the food, of course, but…things were sometimes tough at home. Only one coal for a cold winter’s day. Things were hard, but me parents loved me, and me siblings. Movies were a place to forget all of that. That and music. Movies made me escape, music made me feel, made me laugh or cry or get it out. Anything to forget about school or things for a bit.” Nodding your head, you told him about your own childhood. He nodded and listened attentively. “Well, George…you’ve told me so much already so…” There was a tall rosebud placed on the platter. It sat there for at least a good hour. George at first was eyeing it nervously, but his eyes stayed on you the darker it got outside and the more you talked. Reaching over, you saw him grin genuinely, not hiding any bit of happiness. “George, will you accept this rose?” you asked, pointing the bloom in his direction. “I will, can I hug you?” “Yes!” He reached over and hugged you. “Can I…can I kiss your cheek?” “…yes…” It was soft and though you smelled a bit of garlic from his breath, it was a sweet peck. He felt soft and you felt his lips curve into a smile. ---------------------------------------------------------------- “I should have known, they always kiss too soon!” Jim laughed. “But it’s love, darling! What if it’s love-then you have to kiss!” “I didn’t know it was love when I met you, what was the first thing I told you!” “Oh yes, that word that begins with f and rhymes with duck!” he joked with a laugh, kissing Jim’s cheek. ------------------------------------------------------------------ “I have one question though…” “Yes?” WAsn’t it soon for marriage? No way he would propose already! You held your breath. “When’s dessert?!?” he asked. Grinning, you then asked for a plate of tiramisu to share.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the gentlemen all get together, they are brought to a garden. It’s scenic and beautiful. Only George is left at home. Though as you walk with them, they surround you, trying to find small excuses to the talk-the wind, the sun, breakfast, the news. Chris Harrison walks out. You arrive in a summery shirt and shorts-comfortable, but cute. Smiling at them. “Hey y/n!!!” they all chirrup, but Chris walks forward, rubbing his hands together. “Good afternoon gentlemen! Are you ready for your first group date! We are here because not only is this a garden this…” he waves dramatically “is a labyrinth! And you must find your way out! The three who manage to get their way out will have extra time with our Bachelorette!” Gliding forward like a bird, you went to Chris’s side. The men eyed the labyrinth and then you with nervous excitement. “Aaaaaand….go!!!” you announce, waving your hands. They run in, and walking with Chris, you go to the side near a lovely Venus statue surrounded by Hydrangeas. There are several tv screens monitoring the inside of the maze. The men run about like squirrels ina park, desperately hunting for something. “Ahhh! Where is it? Should we turn left?” Roger asked Brian. “We just turned left!” “They all look the same!” he said with an added falsetto yelp that made birds flee from trees. “Well, this is entertaining!” Fred commented. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- At your desk, you are holding your cool trying not to die laughing from them, but you can’t help yourself. The camera set around shows that the team with John, Brian, and Ringo are well on their way to your spot while the other three are still struggling, all spatting over what’s the right way. Making your way to one spot, you stand in a corner, prepped and ready. Paul arrives at the little green area to find you. “Hells!” you say coyly. “Hello Y/N! Y/N!” they all shout. Paul takes your hand, squeezing it. His cheeks are flushed pink and his hair is messy from the wind. “Am I doin’ alright?” he asks. You nod your head and he lets out a cheer. “You will soon see a little meadow in the center with boxes, choose the right one and you will attend the cocktail party with me.” You instruct. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ “Just his luck!” Jim complains, taking away the bowl. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Energy renewed, he hurries forward. But as the cameras zoom in, they find that though they reached the clearing, the other group just entered through. “What! What’re you lot doing here?” Roger asks angrily. “What’re you doing here!?” Paul asks incredulously. John only shrugs, “Just found a shortcut, is all.” Deaky walks forward, inspecting the boxes. But he finds various office supplies. Computer mice, staplers, tape, sticky notes, and pens. “Lads, listen to this…” Paul warns, pointing to a sign with a riddle written on it. He reads it out loud: With pointed fangs I sit and wait; with piercing force I crunch out fate; grabbing victims, proclaiming might; physically joining with a single bite. What am I?” For a while, all is quiet, they are not sure what to do. Suddenly Ringo, Brian, John, and Deaky lift up their heads. They yell at once: “The stapler!” At once they ran up, slamming the button. A door swung open, revealing you on the other side laughing and clapping as Ringo, John, and Deaky make their way through. Brian slows down before his stride. He smiles sadly, knowing that rosebud is in his room but that tonight won’t have another extra minute of you. Hugging the boys and high-fiving them, Chris merely folds his hands with his calm, slightly mischievous smile. “Congrats!!! You got it!!!! So this group will go to a special cocktail party…and the rose ceremony…” Chris announced. They cheer and hug you, though the other party huffs, looking on in envy.

The evening falls. There is a slight quiet except for the sounds of a few birds in the distance. In a nice, sparkly dress, you greet the men: John, Ringo, and Deaky, hugging them tightly. “So John, you’re from Liverpool…” you asked. “Yes, I and all the lads are-“ “Oh! And you met each other doing- doing music, right?” “Yes, we did! I needed music it was, well, Ringo can agree it was in our blood, it was.” He nodded, getting his first glass of chardonnay. “Can I steal you, so we can talk some more?” “Of course!” Walking around in the garden, roses bloomed. Their fragrance barely tickled your nose. “Y/N, thanks for this…look at these? Aren’t they lovely!?” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Must be rigged! If you see flowers or fireworks, it’s rigged for you!” Jim says, shaking his head. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “They’re very lovely! So…were you always writing songs? Playing guitar?” “In secret, me uncle taught me…but he died. And me mum encouraged that and…well, she died too.” “Oh John…” “It’s alright,” “ut still!” “Yeah…but still…I want to think I’m strong. That I’m better….” “Grief always hurts, though…” “Well I had me music, I always have it…and me drawings!” He pulled out a notepad. “Oh, let me see them! Please!” you insist. Time passes as you see his personal drawings before Ringo steps up and steals you away. John sits there, staring sadly but with a bit of intensity. He sighs and closes his notepad, returning it to his pocket. “How are you, me dear!” he asks in his deep voice, he pulls your hand to his large, soft lips and kisses your knuckles. “I’m…I’m very good!” you answer, flustered already by the affection. “Ere, let’s sit!” he offers, seeing the blue seats right by the fire pit. “Good! So are you tired?” you ask. You swirl around your wine glass to inspect the inside for a bit. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “For a cocktail party, they only drink wine, darling!” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Woo! All that runnin’! I would run around on stage to keep up me energy! I still have a bit in me toes-see!” He wiggled his toes and his shoes moved with them. “I have some in mine too!” You wiggled yours in tandem. Both of you giggling like idiots. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Bloody hell!” Jim cursed, groaning as he leaned back on the couch. “I can’t believe she actually likes that! What is that boy-five?! That’s not the way to woo someone!” Freddie insisted, hands flailing in front of the tv screen. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ As you finished chatting, you saw Deaky was only sipping his drink quietly. As he breathed in deep, he approached you. “So Y/N, what kind of music do you like?” he asked. “Oh me, I really love rock..” Both of you began walking as the other two sat on the couches to talk. You and Deaky came across a little clearing. There was a pavement floor and the high, grassy walls of the labyrinth from the afternoon. “You can’t go wrong with rock. But I’m fond of some soul stuff and…and disco!” he gushed. “Disco?” “Yes, disco! Have you ever been dancing, Y/N?” he asked, tilting his head. “Me? It’s been a while!” you confess. “Well, imagine we’re at a disco party-you have on some platform shoes….” You show him the ankle of the heels you have on for tonight “These heels might as well be platforms!” “Well then, let’s practice then!” He then dances with you lightly, humming an Earth, Wind, and Fire song, moving your hands in tandem as you sway in tune and then shake. “Dah nah nuh-like that!” Both of you giggle. He then blushes, hiding part of his face in his hands. “Oh-I’m sorry! It’s a different side of me-and Brian and Rog don’t like disco-like me…” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Because they’re idiots! Disco is amazing!” Freddie blurted to the oblivious reality stars. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ “Deaky! No need to apologize-it’s what makes you happy!” He smiled sweetly and you smiled back. You led him back, to where the four of you saw in front of a table, taking the last of your drinks. A platter of cheese and crackers was passed around that everyone nibbled on. Then there was a white plate with only one rose you hadn’t noticed until now. Thinking it over, you took the bloom. The three men sat up straighter. You twirled the rose in your fingers as they froze where they were. But then glanced over with a biting smile. “I thank each of you for your time…Ringo, you make me smile…John, you really opened up but…Deaky, will you accept this group date rose?” Nodding his auburn head, he whispered “absolutely, half hugging you.” Chris Harrison then walked in. “Gentlemen, you may now join the rose ceremony. And there is a chance that if you did not receive that rose, you may be packing tonight…”

[cameronspecial]

King of CSCC (Ch.3)

Pairing: Rich Kid! Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: When Y/N gets a scholarship to attend Collegialiter Schola Currere Cucurri, a prestigious boarding school in England. She’s very studious and organizes, everything needs to be a certain way for her to be happy. Tom is the resident fuckboy at school and,  with his daddy being the richest man on earth, he practically owns the school. What happens when Tom falls completely in love with Y/N, but she doesn’t want to be with him because of his reputation.

Warning:  A punch is thrown and underage drinking

Words: 2 216

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

Y/N sits at their dining hall table with her lunch in front of her waiting for her friends to come and join her. It’s a few minutes before they join her with their own lunches in their hands. “So Jared Willkins’ annual beginning of school bash is tonight and we were wondering if you wanted to come with us,” Delilah asks her friend. Y/N finishes chewing her food before answering, “That sounds fun, but I am going, to be honest, this is going to be my first high school party so I might be a little clingy.” “It’s alright, Y/N/N. We really won’t mind as long as you are having a good time, you can be stuck to us the whole night. Although, maybe not the whole night because I’ve been flirting with Gracie all week and it would be a shame if all that effort went to waste,” Harrison comments with a silent chuckle to himself like it was an inside joke with himself. “Alright, weirdo,” Tom whispers under his breath as he laughs at his friend. Delilah turns towards Y/N with the ‘I have an idea’ look on her face, “You can come over to my dorm after class to get ready. I have snacks in my dorm that should be able to tie us over until the party. Jared always has the most interesting food choices for his parties.” “Yeah, that sounds great! I’ll meet you then.”

Y/N fidgets with her fingers before raising her hand to knock on the door. She could hear the music blasting on the other side of the door, so when nobody responds after a few seconds Y/N decides to try to open the door. When the door pushes open, Y/N is met with the sight of Delilah dancing around the room with a strip of bacon in her hand. “Where did you get the bacon from?” Y/N inquires as she sees a plate of bacon on Delilah’s desk and goes to get a strip. Delilah stops dancing and turns towards Y/N, “I may have bribed one of the cooks with some new cooking utensils if she made us some bacon. I also got some sausage rolls from Greg’s, Hula Hoops crisps and some Cadbury's fingers.” “Hmmmm, I love Cadbury's fingers. I can eat a whole pack in one sitting. And I’ve heard of Greg’s famous sausage rolls and I’ve always wanted to try one.” “Well, knows your lucky day. Here try one,” Delilah says whilst handing Y/N a paper bag. Y/N takes the bag and takes a bite out of the delicious pastry, “This totally live up to my expectation. God, I which they had these in Toronto.” “I know right, it’s like they were sent from God or something. Know I put together this outfit that you could borrow from me. I think you would look amazing in it,” Delilah informs Y/N. Delilah gives Y/N a white crop top with black high-waist pants and a jean jacket that has patches on the back. “I like it. Simple, but I think it could drop some jaws. I am going to go try it on,” Y/N tells the other girl before heading to the bathroom to get change. Once changed, Y/N exams herself in the mirror and feels her confidence go up. This isn’t the typical type of outfit that she would normally wear, but she loves how she looks in it.

“Come out, I want to see your outfit and I want your opinion on your outfit,” Delilah announces from the other side of the door. Y/N rolls up the sleeves of the jacket then opens the door to see that Delilah has changed into a red tight-fitting dress with white heels. “Awww, you look so great. Every boy is going to want to get with you,” Delilah assures Y/N while she brings Y/N to sit in front of her vanity and starts to work on her hair and makeup. Y/N closes her eyes so the makeup doesn’t get in her eyes, “Thanks. I think you look really great. Jess isn’t going to know what hit her.” “Aww, you're making me blush.” Around forty-five minutes later, Y/N opens her eyes to see that Delilah had gone with a natural look except for the lips which were a ruby red that really stood out. Her hair is lightly curled and the front pieces of her hair are braided back in a crown. Y/N wraps her arms around Delilah’s neck, “Thank you so much. I look amazing.” “You’re welcome, sweetie. Now, we better get going before the boys kill us for being so late,” Delilah points out. Y/N nods and goes to get her purse before they both head down to the parking lot to where the boys were.

“So where is this party going to be because I really don’t think everyone is going to fit in Jared’s dorm room,” Y/N jokes from where she was sitting in the back seat with Delilah. Harrison looks over his shoulder from the passenger seat at her, “Well, his parents’ house is actually really close so that’s why he is the one that normally hosts the party. And don’t worry about being back by curfew. Nobody actually notices if you are gone or not and if they do, we’ll just bribe them for you. Y/N laughs at his jokes, but deep down she knows he isn’t really joking. Tom takes a glance at Y/N through the rearview mirror. When he saw her outfit, he felt his stomach do a flip and he never felt like this before. He wanted to wrap his arms around her waist and call her his girlfriend. He wanted to be the only person that those ruby red lips would kiss and it’s driving him insane. He can’t help but smile at how well she gets along with his best friends and it just makes him like her more.

They got to the party and Y/N could already hear the pounding music from where they parked down the street. As they got closer and closer to the house she could already see other teens making their way towards the party as well. The music is so much louder when you are actually inside of the house and there are so many people in the house that Y/N is pretty sure half of them don’t go to the school. “Ohh, I see Jess. I am going to go say hey. Stay with the boys, okay babe. Have fun!” Delilah yells at her friends before running off to go see her target. Y/N turns around to face the boys to see that only Tom remains and that Harrison is making his way towards Gracie. “And then there were two,” Y/N comments as she moves in closer to Tom so she doesn’t need to scream. Tom chortles at what she says, “Let’s go get a drink.” The kitchen is a little more deserted than the rest of the house and a little quieter. “So what do you want to drink?” Tom questions with a Heineken in his hand. Y/N stares at all the various alcoholic drinks and feels a little nervous, “Uhh, I don’t really know. I’ve never really drank before, so maybe just a beer or something. I don’t really think starting off with vodka is a good idea for an amateur. “Yeah, that wouldn’t be good. Here try this first and if you don’t like it then I can just get you some water or I can make you a cocktail,” Tom suggests. Y/N agrees and takes his beer into her hand. She takes a sip out of the bottle and at first, she doesn’t like the taste, but it grows on her. “Hmm, not bad. I think I can grow to like it,” Y/N decides as she takes another sip from his beer. Tom chuckles and grabs another beer for himself, “A girl with good taste, not bad. Why don’t we go dance?” Tom takes Y/N’s hand and he can’t lie that he didn’t feel butterflies in his stomach. He takes her over to the living room where the music is coming. They start moving to the music and as more and more people start to come in they find themselves on opposite sides of the room, but they felt safe with the distance because they were still within seeing distance of each other.

Tom had been dancing and flirting with Mindy all night and he knew that he has it in the bag. He looks up to check on Y/N before he takes Mindy upstairs for a little privacy, but what he sees has his blood boiling. Ross Butler is behind her whispering things into her ear and Y/N looks like she just wants to get away from him. “Why don’t we go upstairs and see what you have underneath, sweetheart,” Ross whispers into Y/N ear and she honestly felt very uncomfortable. She wanted to get away from him and get Tom, but she says that Tom was with Mindy and she didn’t want to bother him. Also, she was honestly a little bit tipsy and tired, so she doesn’t really know what to do. Before she could tell Ross no for the fifty times, Ross is pulled away from her and he receives a punch in the face. “Don’t ever think about bothering a girl like that again, Butler. Now, get up and apologize,” Tom screams at Ross, who had fallen because of the punch. The music was turned off and everyone is crowding around to watch the scene unfold. Ross quickly stands up, apologizes to Y/N and walks out of the living room. Tom gives everyone the look that tells them to go back to what they were doing then goes over to see how Y/N is doing. She stumbles a little bit, but he catches her before she can fall. “Alright, Ms. Lightweight. Why don’t we get you to bed?” he encourages as he helps get out of the crowded house and toward his car. “What about Harrison and Delilah?” she asks with a giggle as she feels her body starting to get tired. Tom chuckles at how she is asking and makes sure she is buckled into the passenger seat, “I sent them a text to tell them where we are and I am pretty sure they would be too busy to care that they don’t have a ride back for the night. I’ll go pick them up in the morning.” “What about Mindy?” Y/N slurs with another giggle. Tom shakes his head, “She doesn’t matter. As long as you are safe that’s all that matters.” Y/N felt her eyes close and she rests her head on Tom’s shoulder. She cuddles into his side and he can’t help but smile at how cute she is.

“Okay, I am going to need your help. Can you do that?” Tom implores the sleepy girl to do. All Y/N does is chortle and continues to try to stumble her way into the dorm room building. Tom eventually gives up and decided to pick her up, but not before he asks her if it is okay. He got to her dorm room and unlocks the door with the key in her purse. He places her gently in her bed and is about to pull the covers over her before she stops him. “Can you help me change first, please?” she pleads in a childlike voice. Tom hesitates for a second, but ultimately agrees when he sees her struggling to take off her shirt. He gently removes her shirt, making sure to watch her hair and hands her the pyjama shirt that is on her dress. He sees that she is going to take off her bra, so he turns around and closes his eyes to give her some privacy. She says he can turn around and asks him to give her a clean pair of underwear and her pyjama pants. Tom hands over the clothes and helps her out of her pants; he turns around when she changes her underwear just like when she takes off her bra and then turns back around to help her with her pants. He places the covers over her body and leaves a bottle of water and some Advil on her bedside table for the morning. He gives her a kiss on the forehead then turns to leave, but was stopped again by Y/N’s voice. “Can you please stay with me?” Y/N begs with big baby doll eyes. Tom takes a moment to think about the consequences of his actions, but when he sees that Y/N really needed him to stay, he goes to turn off the lights and trips down to his boxers after asking Y/N if it is okay. He lies down under the covers beside her and closes his eyes to try to get some sleep. He feels the bed shift underneath him then Y/N cuddles into his side. He wraps his arm around her again and gives her another kiss on the forehead. He feels her steady and soft breath on his chest. The smell of her shampoo comforts him and he couldn’t help, but fall asleep with a smile on his face.  

Taglist:  @bookgirlunicorn  @itsjstz @rachaeldonnaspiteri1@madithemagicalfangirl  @glcssyholland @marisophie@truestrengths@mjsholland @iwastornsincethestart@saltysebastianstan@loxbbg@linnyalou@scoobieboobiedoo @anaussiesblog @jillanaholland@madon566  @tiny-friggin-human @parkeret @outwrspacez @watson-emma@jessybellsworld @thatdamjoke @averyfosterthoughts @greenarrowhead  @v-valz-n​

[jojparasol]

silver springs

I hope you all enjoy my first imagine! I originally wrote this at around 1am so mind any mistakes or anything. This was clearly inspired by Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Silver Springs.’ It’s one of my favourite songs and you’ll see a few lyrics spread throughout. Enjoy x

The one where Y/N is tired of being the girl on the side and harry has a promise.

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: Sexual mentions, angst??

Part two here and part three here

"I brought her a ring — a promise ring," he whispered, staring up into the ceiling as he felt his chest heaving in a calm pattern. Y/N closed her eyes the second he said that pronoun, knowing that it was not her he was referring to, of course, it wasn’t. Oh God, she felt this feeling too often. The feeling that strangled its long arms around her, but it was the softest drop of poison that made her heart melt. 

And it hurt. It hurt knowing that her love for him ran for miles. But he stopped at the starting line, watching her run with her weak legs trying to liven up her love for him as he watched her disappear with a heavy heart. It was clear he never loved her. He loves the woman he’s going to give a promise ring to, he’s gonna get down on one knee as he proposes her a promise. A promise to give her the world, give her his future and give her his everything. And Y/N stood there like a fool — she knows she’s a fool and possibly the biggest one out. She’s going to stay until he properly tells her she needs to go and leave him for good. It might’ve been time for Y/N to take her heart back from Harry because he wasn’t looking after it well, considering the fact that he never did. 

Y/N scrunches the white sheets up to her chest, her faint red knuckles fisted between the soft fabric as it covered her naked body, warming the goosebumps that scattered throughout her bare skin. Her pouted lips puffed out into a small sigh, slightly shaking her head at the thought of Harry’s future without her.

“I don’t wanna know, H,” she managed to croak out, feeling her throat tighten at the realisation of her hurt. She felt her head spinning in continuous circles that ran around her heart. She could practically see shades of grey flashing in front of her sunken eyes as if there wasn’t any sort of colour to her world at that moment. 

“She’s pretty. She loves me,” he continued with no sort of care for the vulnerable woman lying beside him. He didn't need to fucking brag. There was no need for the reminder that Harry’s loved or that Y/N knows very well that she’s pretty. Hell, there’s always that constant reminder. Whenever Y/N came over, she’d see photo frames of the couple together or simply going on her phone where’d she see recent photos of Harry out for lunch or on a jog on her feed. Not to mention, whenever Harry’s phone lit up from his nightstand, she knew it was her daily ‘good night’ message that covered the lock screen of surprise — her.

“Then why the fuck are you here? Why did you just sleep with me if she loves you and you love her?” Y/N sat up, her voice still broken and strained. Her hair tangled and her glassy eyes dared to look at the man who she couldn’t help but still love.

She told him she loved him years ago. She remembers aimlessly mumbling to herself that he would never love her, shutting down her previous thoughts of confidence where she felt like she could confess her undying love for that man. They’re best friends and as duty calls, she stood by him throughout every harsh break up he’s been through. She would sit on the couch, with his head in her lap as she comforted him saying the usual phrases of ‘you deserve better’ or ‘you’ll find the one.’ And Y/N believed she was the one.

So, when the rush of alcohol split through her body on a lonely, drunken night, she found herself pouring her hopeless love to him over the phone. She doesn’t remember him saying much apart from a simple, ‘I’m coming over.’ He ended the call and appeared in her apartment in what felt like another quick shot of alcohol. Harry sat her down, gazing into her bloodshot eyes and gave her a sympathetic smile. He didn’t even have to open his mouth for her to bawl her eyes out, probably emitting the ugliest sounds she thinks he’s ever heard. But she continued anyway, pathetically crying into his arms as he gently thumbed away her tears. Harry never questioned if she meant it because he always knew that ‘drunk words turn sober.’  A year later, he met her. He met the person he claims as 'the one.'

Delilah. That was her name — just like that Tom Jones song or the Plain White T's song. Either way, her name just delighted everyone — see, even her name was similar to the word delight. And God, the way it rolled off his tongue so naturally like it was the most simple thing to do. Y/N saw Harry's eyes sparkle and all he could ever do was compliment her on every single detail of the human being. She was his epitome of life and beauty.

"Christ, Y/N. Ye should've seen 'er. She's everything I could have wanted and more."

It was like a stab to her chest but Y/N congratulated him anyway because he was just too God damn happy and it was what he deserved. But she couldn’t comprehend how hurt she felt — words couldn’t describe.

All her hatred ripped into oblivion when Y/N finally met Delilah and she suddenly understood Harry. Y/N could not point a single flaw on the woman. She had piercing hazel eyes and wavy chestnut hair that reached just above her breasts. She had a voice like an autumn wind and the look of a Greek Goddess. Her words and actions dripped with love and perfectly fitted Harry's trademark of 'treat people with kindness.' Y/N remembered not feeling any anger towards Delilah because it wasn't her fault. It was never her fault. It was Harry's.

Harry stayed silent. The room was left with heavy breaths from Y/N's crying as she reminisced on their past.

"I don't regret it, though. I don't regret the first night we spent with each other."

He was talking about that night. The night that he and Delilah had gotten into a huge fight and he came running to Y/N with desperate pleas. She felt sorry for him, of course, and they were back to the same usual setting — where his head rested on her lap and he cried about how much he doesn't want to lose her because she's the one. That was when Y/N realised she never felt this way with any man because she never tried to. She never was interested in any other guy apart from the Harry. He'd always complain why Y/N never dated anyone and for a bit, she also didn't know why. But in the end, she finally found out why.

Y/N had set up his favourite rom coms and she cradled Harry in her arms as he cried when Allie and Noah broke up, parting their ways as they left their summer love. She also cried, a stray tear falling down her reddened cheek but Harry never noticed. They survived the movie, blinking at the credits scene. Harry had thanked her for being there as she nodded, avoiding eye contact. But he leaned in close to caress her cheek and soon enough, his lips pressed against hers. She didn't stop him — she didn't want to, she kissed back just as hard as he did, forbidden adrenaline rushing through her veins. She admitted to herself that she was selfish, she's always been with Harry. He was her only dream and all she ever wanted to do was love him. And that night, he let her.

Y/N never understood why he stayed after the first night. But, she didn't want to question it in fear of losing him. She was just there whenever he needed a temporary relief and she happily obliged. It was wrong, but the feeling was right. She was his silver springs.

"Why did you stay?" Y/N finally asked the question she's been asking herself ever since she started loving him. She turned to the side to face him. He was sat up, his bare chest slowly heaving up and down as he stared at the piece of jewellery in his hands. He was fumbling with the tiny, glittery ring in the palm of his hands that was probably worth more than what Y/N could ever achieve in her life. He had his thumb caressing over the shiny diamond, feeling the cold metal of the band. It's as if the ring was mocking her. Mocking her that it was going to be given to someone else — someone but her. Delilah.

He looked up, staring past the ceiling and into the sky, he was looking up to an imagined angel he always trusted on. "I don't exactly know. I just felt like I needed to. After all those years, I had to."

"Can you tell me if it was worth it?" She asked once again. Suddenly, she could only ask questions. Questions where she'd end up hurt either way. Questions where she's down to lose her heart.

"I don't think you want to know," he mumbled, aware of her fragile state. He didn't want to look at her because they both knew they were avoiding something. He knows she should stop and that he should be careful with Y/N. But he was never careful with her. Y/N agrees, she claims that he's the reason why there are bruises on her heart.

"Is it over?" The words fell off the end of her quivering lips. It was an awaiting question because if he did say yes, it was her queue to go. And Harry knew that he had to give her an answer, an answer that'll hurt although it'll be filled with an aching truth.

"Yes."

So she left. The second the word left his lips, she grabbed her clothes from the floor and quickly dressed into them. Harry didn't say anything as she did that. He simply formed a fist with his palms, the ring digging into his skin.

“Y’know, Harry, mark my words. Time casts a spell on you, but you won’t forget me. I hope these words haunt you because I tried loving you but you fucking wouldn’t let me."

It seemed like he didn't process it fast enough, it was a whole blur to him. He watched her shake her head in disbelief after her short speech, mumbling some profanities as she left with the door shutting closed.

After a few minutes of silence, Harry could hear the sound of the car starting and eventually driving away. She was also right, he could hear her words, ready to haunt him forever. That was it. He lost her.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 10x14: Look at the Flowers - First Thoughts

How did everyone like the episode? I have to say, me and my fellow theorists were really worried this would be a supremely boring episode for TD. The spoilers were just so lack luster. Nothing like last week when we found out about Rick’s boots, you know? So we just hoped we would see some good symbolism. The kind of stuff the spoilers wouldn’t ever touch on.

I’m happy to say that there really is tons of good symbolism in this episode. It does feel a bit like a filler episode, because nothing huge happens. There are basically two story lines going on here. Eugene’s group heading out to meet Stephanie, and in that respect it’s a bridge to that story line because we only see them traveling but they don’t truly “get there” before the end of the episode. And the rest is a huge turning point in Carol’s arc. Which is great, but something like that is always going to be a little less interesting to us TDers. But, thankfully, I saw plenty of things that made me super excited for what’s to come.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 10x14. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Eugene, Yumiko and Zeke:

I’ll give you the best one first. Out of a clear blue sky, Eugene starts taking about CHOCOLATE BUNNIES for Easter. Not only has the rabbit symbolism been around since S4, but Eugene actually mentions Easter. And what does Easter celebrate? Resurrection. The Stephanie expedition is SO gonna lead to Beth. Plus, they were next to a set of train tracks during this convo, and Eugene even points that out, so I think that’s important.

When Zeke’s group reached the city, there was tons of pink and purple galore. And that’s because of the Princess character, but those colors are important. There’s the pink theory, of course. But there is also lots of purple and fuchsia. Purple is actually a big color when it comes to the Christian holidays of Advent and Lent. I’ll get into more of that tomorrow.

Furthermore, a lot of the walkers the Princess has dressed up and chained up look exactly like the Rich Bitch walker from Still.

Also, with the police walker? They find a car with a walker cuffed to the steering wheel and the cop walker cuffed to the front buffer. The car’s airbags are deployed. Not only is there an imprisonment theme going on there, but it reminds me of Carol getting hit by the Grady car. And also of the sighting of Emily being seen driving one of the cop cars around. It’s almost like the Princess set this up like a humorous scene. A car hitting a cop. And they draw attention to it by having Zeke laugh at it. That just screams Grady to me.

Along the way, Eugene’s group saw walkers in cages with a bird. Mostly, I think it was a foreshadow of imprisonment. And specifically, an imprisoned bird.

Let’s talk Zeke for a minute. They are SO setting up his death fake out. While I still can’t say exactly when it will come, I do suspect that he won’t make it back from this trip in a conventional way. I think Yumiko and Eugene will “lose” him and think he’s dead and return to tell Carol that he’s “gone.” And then, because she finally decided to get it together and start again, she’ll have tons of guilt and grief. 

I just felt like everything about Zeke’s stuff here was heavily foreshadowing that. They camped under a bridge. There was a flower graffitied on the pillar of it. Reminded me of the one by Carol and Tara in s8. His horse died of a walker bite. (And you know, this is a minute detail, but I’m wondering if it won’t be a matter of someone simply using radiation to heal his cancer, but rather, like the other fake outs, there will be a walker bite and they’ll be treating him specifically for that and sort of heal his cancer by accident.)

When his horse dies,  Zeke kills it and is very emotional and wants Yumiko to promise that if he falls while in the city, she’ll leave him behind. She says no, but just feels like a really obvious foreshadow.

I also had a thought about Eugene. My fellow theorists and I have often discussed the scene from 5x05 when Eugene sits on the fire truck and reads the book, “The Shape of Things to Come” and then Maggie talks to him about Sampson. It’s just such a blatant biblical reference and we’ve always struggled to understand its significance for Eugene. 

So, it occurs to me that Eugene used to have short hair and now it’s super long. Like all the way down his back. He used to be weak and afraid but he’s kind of become a badass in his own right. At least, as far as killing walkers goes. His speech about being the fool brought Sampson to mind because Sampson is often seen as Delilah’s fool. I’m just wondering if Eugene has become Sampson and Stephanie will be his Delilah.

Beta:

So Beta’s back and probably wants revenge for Alpha’s death. Dude is definitely not going gentle into that good night.

The place Beta went to definitely smacked of the golf club, and there were tons of important symbols in there. (Booze, crosses, a guitar, etc.) I’ll get to more of them tomorrow.

The song lyrics have some interesting themes.The first one is Emily’s Turtle and Monkey song. The last one is too, I believe. The one in the middle is different. I have a lot to say about the song lyrics. I’ll get into that tomorrow. 

And it occurred to me that we once again have a representation of Alpha and Beta being an evil twin version of Beth and Daryl. Beta breaking the guitar could represent Beth getting shot, and he’s lost Alpha in much the way Daryl lost Beth. Then, at the end, he wears some of Alpha’s face, which is a sick, twisted version of Daryl keeping Beth’s knife. Carrying a part of her with him. Then he marches off to war, just as Daryl would participate in AOW and the Whisper Wr.

Carol:

Let’s talk Carol first. While I know the shippers are running wild, I don’t even particularly feel like addressing that. They’ll always come up with something totally ludicrous. And remember, they believed this was the episode where Daryl and Carol would hook up or declare their undying love. Or…something. Once again, that didn’t even come close to happening.

But I’ll point out some things here that will show how exactly the opposite is happening. While this is a major, turning point in Carol’s arc, she’s also a proxy for Beth here, and I’m pretty sure she returned to Alexandria to patch things up with Zeke.

Okay, Carol does mental battle with herself in the form of Alpha, right? And it’s actually really interesting if you listen to what’s being said. Everyone Carol has ever lost is mentioned, including Lizzy, Mica, Sophia, and even Ed. Alpha razzes her about being a defective parent and says Ed was right about her. It’s pretty brutal, but obviously Carol doing battle with her own soul.

Then she gets trapped under the boat and the debris from the shed. Alpha encourages her to just accept her death and let it bite her. (Insight about that in a minute.) Carol, of course, breaks free and kills the walker, saving herself. She says, “it’s never too late.”

So, I think this is very much an epiphany moment for Carol and she’s probably going back to start over, patch things up with Zeke and try to be human again. She doesn’t say that or anything, but it says a lot that she was trying hard to leave the group (a la S5-s7) but after this breakthrough, so goes back to Alexandria of her own accord.

Honestly guys, this gives me a little bit of hope for Carol. I’ve been thinking lately that she’s on a Shane-esque downward spiral that she’s really not ever going to recover from. Up until now, she’s been so all-consumed with killing Alpha, that she really couldn’t focus on anything. But now, some part of her recognizes that it’s not too late and probably wants the happiness she once had with Zeke. It’s a big enough part of her that she actually went back to Alexandria. That’s good. That’s a big change for her.

Do I think she’s going to get the happiness just yet? Mmmm….no.

I’ll talk about this more below, but I’m pretty sure Zeke’s death fake out will come before he returns from his trip with Eugene. So just when Carol gets it together and wants to patch things up with him, she’ll find out he’s “died.” Yeah, everyone’s life sucks. But it will just be a death fake out. Still, this mentality from Carol is a step in the right direction.

The insight I mentioned above? The” look at the flowers” line comes from Alpha when she’s encouraging Carol to let the walker bite her. She says, “you should just look at the flowers.” And she’s encouraging her to accept her death. I’d never thought of it quite that way before, but that phrase doesn’t just mean death. It means to accept death and not fight to live. If you think of how it was used before with Lizzie and Mica, that was true too. But Carol fights to live and kills the walker and goes back to Alexandria to start again. That’s why it’s such a big deal for her. She chooses to move forward instead of running away again. And only when she does that does Ghost Alpha disappear. Just thought that was interesting.

Okay, so how is Carol a proxy for Beth. Watching the episode the first time, I was a little mystified by the ending. It almost felt like a time jump. We see Carol say, “it’s never too late,” and Daryl and Negan decide she won’t be returning to the boundary, so they head home. 

Then we see her approaching the gate of Alexandria and Daryl is already there. It was just kind of…abrupt. We didn’t see them journey home. So not a huge jump. A few hours or the next day, but still. We don’t really know if the Hilltoppers went to Alexandria or not (I’m gonna assume they did, until we find out otherwise). We don’t know if Negan is there too (again, I’ll assume he is because he was with Daryl). And we still don’t know what’s up with Aaron, Alden, baby Adam, Luke, or Lydia. It’s like they jumped way ahead in the story for some reason.

Then I rewatched it, and a particular line jumped out at me that sort of brought the entire thing together. Let’s backtrack for a minute. So, when Carol gets trapped under the boat? I pictured it differently after reading the spoiler. I assumed it would flip over and land over her and she’d be trapped in the natural dome of space beneath it, created by an upside down boat. But it’s not just the boat that falls. The entire shed collapses and there’s heavy debris resting on her chest and pinning her painfully to the ground. I had the thought that visually it looked a lot like the trapped walker Morgan killed after the credits in Coda.

But what made me really consider it was Negan and Daryl’s convo. Negan says “not to spin a broken record, but I don’t think she’s coming back.” Obviously the record thing stood out to me (and Beta also plays a record so there’s a music/record theme going on). But not until watching it the second time did the entire line of dialogue hit me.

He’s obviously talking about Carol, but the line could be applied to Beth. And should be because of the record reference. “I don’t think she’s coming back.” To which Daryl replies, “I know.” Then he leaves, rather than waiting for or searching for Carol. So, he accepts that she’s not coming back and moves on (kind of like he did with Beth). But after that, at a later time and completely independent of him, Carol shows up at Alexandria. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Meanwhile Eugene and Zeke are headed toward Grady. Um, I mean, some random hospital. ;D

Okay, I’ll stop there for today. I’ll be back tomorrow with details. What did you think of the episode?

[death---dealer]

Queen Guys as Rom Com Tropes.

It’s me your girl, back at it. With a cute prompt. I’ve seen so many rom coms someone please help me. These are just headcanons on what rom com trope they remind me of :,). watch it get 10 notes LMAO. Thank you guys for reading, reblogs and likes are appreciated!!! - Miss Em.

John Deacon.

Best friends to lovers / realizing what he wanted was right in front of him the entire time. 

“I never imagined...” John whispered softly into the air, feeling your weight shift next to him as you placed your head down on your arm as a makeshift pillow. The ease of your breathing mellowed him out to the point where he felt like he was floating high above, his head fuzzed and swirled around the clouds. “You know, us in general... There’s so many better men out there than me, I don’t know why you---” “I didn’t choose you, you know.” You murmured lightly, interrupting but also knowing what he was going to say before it was even articulated. Connection, you figured, you were connected to him in such a way that you knew him, probably best out of anyone but it had taken many years and turmoil for your friendship to finally delve into the romantic aspect you sensed was always there, lingering behind the scenes. Dipping your head down to kiss John’s lips smoothly, you felt his usual pout being replaced by a tiny pucker as he was in search of affection, “I didn’t sit there and think ‘Oh, I think I’ll fall in love with my best friend’. It... Just sort of happened, I suppose... Over time. We’ve been friends for so long, Deaky. It felt...” “Natural?” He offered that as a way to close out your sentence which left you nodding, moving beside him once again so you could properly dangle the blankets around your body as you laid your chest against his. Skin to skin, it felt as if John was on fire as his grey-green eyes poured unabashedly into yours as if everything else had been stripped away. The background, the noise of passing traffic outside, the sound of people chattering on the street. All he could focus on was you, the way you felt against him, the way your breath expanded onto his face due to close proximity before slender and mildly calloused fingertips reached up to trace your bottom lip.  “It feels right. Being in love with my best friend and what-not.” He shut his eyes as you accepted the form of confession, drawing your head down and nuzzling into his neck. John took a deep breath in, letting his nose press into your hair. “What-not.” You repeated with a snicker as he moved to press a small kiss to your hairline. “That’s very broad, Deaks.” “My feelings for you are very broad, my darling honey.”

Brian May.

Confessing in the rain.

He’s realized that he’s in love with you after a night out, after watching you drink and sway in your seat to the music playing from the jukebox across the bar. After hearing you laugh at a joke that he had said, something that wasn’t particularly funny but you felt it was and it made Brian smile to himself knowing that he could make you wheeze with laughter. And after dropping you off at your flat and thinking about kissing you under the streetlamps. He’s realized and he was foolish for thinking he could make it home without irrational thought coming into play. Halfway there, he turned and decided to act on his feelings.  “Brian, I thought you went home---” “I just---” He held up his hands and laughed slightly, curls messy as if he had just had a revelation and his hands had ran through his mane in contemplation, trailing halfway across the city to tell you something when he could have absolutely rung you up on the telephone when he got home if it was that urgent and that important.  But alas, face to face was something that he needed. That he wanted. “I’ve come back to tell you something, problem is I’m not quite sure how to say it without sounding like a complete idiot.” “Brian, you could mumble nonsense and it would sound smart.” You chuckled and brought your hands up to wrap them around your body as a few more raindrops landed on Brian’s head, wetting his hair as one landed on his cheek as he peered up at you with a charming grin. Hands through his hair and the mixture of humidity in the air gave Brian the aura that he was glowing in the lamp light as rain began coming down more consistently, splattering and causing small puddles to form. You gestured for him to come inside, to get out of the rain but he shook his head. ”I’ll only be a moment then I’ll be on my way home.” “As long as you’re not going to tell me that you’ve forgotten to pay the tab at the bar, then nothing should be wrong, right?” “I think I’m in love with you.” Your two sentences rolled out together, meshing awkwardly in a dance that left you tilting your head to the side, finally coming out of the door of your flat building so you were on the same ground as him, “What--- what... What did... Uh...” Tugging a hand through your hair, you looked up at Brian and felt raindrops hitting your face and before you could blink the rain picked up with a small gust of wind. “Did you just---” “I believe I have.” Brian nodded as if he needed to re-trace, as if he was unsure of what he had just confessed so recklessly. His hair at this point was less wild as some of the rain caught onto the strands and flattened them. “I just wanted--- this was something I needed to tell you, you know? One of those weird things I can’t keep to myself, I suppose. In some twisted way, I’ve only just found out myself. Being in love and all. In love with you, out of anyone.” Your face dropped as you wiped your face with your fingers as it was wet from the rain.  “Not like that--- I--- I’m glad it’s you, God, am I glad. Just... Unexpected? Falling in love is unexpected.” He gestured rather vaguely and smiled sweetly at you, reaching a hand up to brush some of your hair away from your face. Drawing your lip in, you glanced up at him and laughed under your breath as his fingertips trailed down and traced your cheek. “Am I making space? Space--- I mean... Sense. Does that make sense, (Name)? Oh, Lord, I hope it makes sense, I’ve gone on rambling and now I can’t seem to stop---” You made him. Stop, halt... You weren’t sure about what came over you as you stumbled forward a bit and rammed your body against his before your lips pressed against his. Awkwardly at first, the water getting in the way of the intimate action and for a second, you were unsure if you were actually kissing or not. But, you were as you felt Brian respond with pressure of his own lips.  “Do--- do you want to come inside? Out of the rain?” “Are you going to kiss me again?” Brian whispered softly and bit the inside of his cheek.  “Maybe, if you come inside.” You teased and propped the door open for him.

Roger Taylor.

Having a one night stand / not dating but still seeing each other afterwards until one of you fall in love and confess.

“We can’t do that again, Roger.” You laughed slightly to him as he trailed his fingers up and down your back as you reached over to grasp your t-shirt off the floor. His action was tickling in nature but you suppressed a small giggle. That touch was nothing to what had just happened, the clawing of your hands against his body, the heated nature that his mouth suckled your skin, leaving you with a trail of saliva and love bites in the midst of gasps and moans that slipped into the air artistically. It stung to think about them but in the best way possible that you found yourself squeezing your knees together at the thought of it happening again though you were often insistent on keeping it casual, that you didn’t want anything more. That was a lie, but Roger didn’t need to know that.  “Heaven’s no, we can’t. This should absolutely be the last time, right?” There was a touch of sarcasm in Roger’s voice. Something understandable as he had heard the phrase you just uttered more than once, in fact, Roger himself often said it to himself as he called you and asked you to come over in the middle of the night because he admittedly got lonely and sought after company, even if it were just a few hours. “Promise it’s the last time?” Roger smiled to himself and propped his body up against his headboard with a soft grunt, baby blue eyes scaling up your body as you tugged your shirt on, popping your arms through and straightening the fabric down your body. The drummer felt his fingers twitch at the sudden urge to tug it off once again and throw it across the room so you couldn’t reach it and so he could selfishly nuzzle his face back into your chest and breath in your scent. “I can’t promise that, no.” You scoffed and turned to face him with squinted eyes at the playful nature of his answer. “Well, why not, Taylor?” “Because I want to see you again.”  Furrowing your eyebrows, you readjusted yourself on the bed and gave the blond a skeptical look, complete with raised eyebrows and lips that weren’t pressed together and seemed desperate to form a question, alas, nothing came to mind. “I’d like to see you again, if that’s alright with you.”

Freddie Mercury.

Eating an entire pint of ice cream with you to help you get over a break-up.

“I say fuck him.” Freddie said as you dug your spoon into your ice cream with one hand, the other tenderly stroking Delilah as she lingered desperately by your side in hopes that her affection and love would get her a lick of ice cream. If not from you, then she’d more than likely trail her way towards Freddie who would absolutely give in and let her lick from his spoon, and even from his pint if he held it up for her. She mewed at you, her eyes wide and sweet as you nuzzled your fingers between her ears and scratched.  Freddie’s words didn’t seem to faze you at all, in fact, this was the... Third time this evening that he had said something like that. Something along the lines of dissing your newly found ex-boyfriend. “Fuck him, darling. He let you go. You---” Freddie pointed his spoon at you, two more cats lingering by him. One in his lap and the other happily curled in on his shoulder on the couch. “You are fucking fantastic, he doesn’t know what he’s lost.” “Thanks, Freddie.” You laughed softly but there was still a sting of sadness to your chuckle, stuffing the ice cream into your mouth and cooing at Delilah next to you as she finally decided to curl in and snuggle you rather than beg. She’d rest there for a few minutes before going over to Freddie and repeating the begging process.  “We should go egg his flat.” Freddie suggested and for a second, he saw you actually contemplate it. “Or perhaps... What is that thing with the paper....” “Oh my god, you want to TP---” “We can!!! I’ve got enough paper in this big house to cover flat twenty times over! We could do it, my darling (Name). Make him regret leaving you!” “He’s not worth it, Freddie. You want vengeance more than I do.” “It would be fun, though.” Freddie laughed tenderly, pressing a hand to his chest as he chuckled. “He’s an asshole, and what do you use to wipe assholes with?” You didn’t answer right away, knowing what he was going to say but that didn’t stop you from taking a large bit of ice cream into your mouth before it was promptly being flown out of your mouth with his answer, “Toilet paper.”

[lady-olive-oil]

So Into You: Chapter 1

A/N: Hey hey hey! Let’s do this y’all! Welcome to the first chapter of So Into You. I’ll be on vacation soon so, this chapter is being uploaded, along with chapter 6 of Work Out. Which I’ll post tomorrow. If you’d to be tagged in future chapters, let me know!!

Warnings: None, except for sexual imagery

Word Count: 2k+ [this is a good one]

Choxie Squad: @maddiestundentwritergaines || @crushed-pink-petals || @themyscxiras || @honeychicana || @dc41896 || @stillevansbae || @areubeingserved || @swirlevans || @4ftwonder || @bugngiz || @mangos4u

_______________

“Chris! Slow your dumb-ass down!”

“Rude! Make me!”

“You gon’ learn today!”

What does it look like for two grown ass adults, running to get to the Cars Land ride in peace? Like a bunch of giddy kids. But who could blame us? We barely get time to hangout with each other anyway, so why not relax at Disneyland and possibly Universal?

A few people stopped us to take pictures, and even though Chris is a bigger star, I got a few fans to ask me for pictures. It made me feel great inside and out, to know that my work has made waves with the world. I must be doing something right. Plus, having a nearly 40 heat old best friend who's willing to act like a child with you is always fun.

“What am I gonna learn Ro? How to do a victory dance, after beating you at Toy Story Mania? Cause I won, twice.” He booped my nose, causing me scrunch it a bit.

I arched a brow and grabbed his hand playfully. “One: you cheated. Two; don't touch my nose. You don’t get to touch me besides a hug. Don’t need helicopter parent Delilah, tryin to check me again. Remember last time?” 

“Yeah I apologize for that. It wasn’t right for her to show up at your birthday dinner, unannounced and caused a scene. I still owe you for that one.”

“Yeah you do. Disney Land will suffice for now. You also owe me dinner from way back when.” Nudging him a bit, before we got in line for the ride, we took a few more pictures with a few folks and chatted.

The birthday dinner fiasco was a disaster. Delilah showed up at Nobu, uninvited, to my birthday dinner hosted by the cast and crew of Avengers: Infinity War. Causing a scene as to why he didn’t tell her where he went, and why didn’t he invite her. He had her apologize to me for being rude and disruptive. I only accepted it because she’s Chris’ girl, but deep down, I felt disregarded.

She didn’t care who saw, she just wanted to let folks know that she was there. I never hated my birthday anymore than I did that day. The next day however, Chris Door Dashed me some food over. It did make it a bit better, but I’m still not he fence about her. She had no regard for privacy or human decency.

Chris rugged on my hand, causing me to get out of my trance. “Come on Ro, It’s our turn. What’s on ya mind? You got that look on your face.”

Helping me into the car, I let out an exaggerated sigh. 

“My bad. Just uh, Going down memory lane about the party last year. History isn’t going to repeat itself is it?”

“Roxanne. I promise it won’t, she won’t come near you as long as I’m around.”

With a reassuring nod, I focused back on track as the car zoomed along, with the sounds of Rascal Flats to bring up the momentum.

“Life is a highway! I wanna ride it all night long. If you're going my way, I wanna drive it all night long.” The inner kids in Chris and I couldn’t resist the sing-a-long. 

Glancing over at him got me thinking. Seeing how happy he was and just enjoying himself, it made me realize I was doing something right by being his friend. I wasn’t going anywhere, yet I kept thinking he’d choose her every time.

After getting off the ride we decided to head to downtown Disney. I was craving pizza so why not.

Given the circumstances of our friendship, he doesn’t know I’ve liked him for years. All this pent up lust for a 30 something year old black woman, ain’t right by any means. To be completely honest, I’ve been in love with my best friend since we were kids. 

Cliche I know, but something about him made me realize that just having him be my best friend isn’t enough for me. My girlfriends know about how I feel; even their boyfriends know. 

How do you tell your best friend, of over thirty years, that you have dreams about then every night? How you picture them in your head, when you’re having sex with other men? You can’t just say that out loud. That’s why I’ve been blocking it out by dating other folks.

I dream of kissing down his chest, leaving hickies along in my wake. Grabbing onto his sculpted hips for leverage, licking his neck teasingly. He's a sight to behold, a true masterpiece of fine art. See what I mean by the dreams being too elaborate? Boy is it harder than I thought.

Chris’ POV:

Taking in the surroundings as much as I could, I backtracked to the day of the party. It was a mess, Delilah was causing an unnecessary scene and essentially made Roxie cry because she had wine poured on her head.

She didn’t talk about that part much. Having red Merlot in your hair was never a good thing, unless it’s New Years. At that point Delilah and I took a break because my friendship with Roxie meant more to me than anything. 

Granted, all my past relationships I’ve had all loved Roxie. Thrilled to have her around, but yet Delilah is pushing her away from me. Being demanding and telling me that I can’t spend time with Roxie anymore, even though we work together and that’s just enough.

It didn’t make sense to me at all. Hence the current “break” we’re on now. She doesn’t understand boundaries at all. 

Not gonna lie, I have been feeling something lately but I can’t describe it quite right. I don’t know whether it’s infatuation or love for my best friend. If it’s the latter, then I think it’s time I accept it. It’s been a long time coming anyway. 

Smiling at a few fans along the way, taking pictures again, made everything relax a bit. I even checked my phone to see if anything happened, while I enjoyed being a kid again with Roxie. Just notifications and love from our fans about our day, then something caught my attention. 

Delilah, had sounded off my find my iPhone alert and I didn’t notice till now. This wasn’t going to be pretty.

I had to get it together. Couldn’t have another birthday fiasco. I took the liberty of ordering a large pepperoni pizza, with bacon and jalapenos for us. I noticed the happy smile on Roxie’s face. One of many great things I loved about her. 

‘Oh shit, I really got it bad.’ I thought to myself, once I shook my head and focused.

“What are you so smiley about over there, pretty lady?”

She took a bite of her slice, doing a little dance in the process. “Food. Ya feeding me today, that’s why.”

“I always found a way to your heart huh? Through food mostly.”

“True. But for the most part, keeping you happy is the fun part of our friendship. I need to make sure you’re ok at all times Evans. Vice versa, cause no guys have been right for me anyway.” This time she bopped me on my nose.

The actin along made me scrunch up my face in playful annoyance, earning a chuckle from hr. It eased my stress levels a bit until, I heard that one fatal voice, that shattered the glass of the house of my concentration.

“Hi baby. I didn’t know you’d be here.” Delilah places a kiss upon my cheek, and waves a bit towards Roxie. That’s weird, she never waved at her. She did know I was here, I didn’t find out she used the alert till after I turned my location back on.

“Uh Yeah. I didn’t think I you’d want to seeing as though were on break currently.” With a slight shrug, I noticed the twinge in her forehead. Roxie kept eating her pizza enjoying the show.

The pet names started, along with her petting my head as she sat on my lap without my consent. “I’m still your girlfriend actually, even if we are on break. I care about you boo.” 

The subtle eye rolls, a fake gagging, from Roxie was priceless. I slid her off my lap and she sat next to me. The two women had a stare off till one of them cracked.

“Have something to say Roxie?” 

“It’s Alexander or Roxanne to you. And no I don’t, because if I did that would require me to nice. Which we both know there’s no way in hell you're capable of doing so.” Stuffing the pizza crust into her mouth, she got up and headed to the front register. I’m assuming for dessert.

The gasp that emitted from Delilah’s lips was comical. “She shouldn't get to talk to me like that. I’m your girlfriend Christopher  not her.”

I had to set her straight, so looked her dead in her eyes. “Here we go again. Delilah, we’ve been on and off for how long? Few months. Dating for close to a year now, I suppose? You have to respect that she’s going to be around forever.”

“I don’t like it, at all. But for you I’ll do anything for you because I love you.”

That phrase was foreign to me hearing from others, besides my friends; family and Roxie. Part of me wanted to hear her say it for real. The dreams I have of her late at night don't help either.

I dream about kissing her neck as gently as possible, holding her close to me. Like she’s a fragile art piece that’s only meant to be observed. I really need to get it together, this has gone maddening.

“Love ya too, Delilah. Now we can talk tomorrow if ya want, I still want to hang with my best friend.” Accepting the Captain America theme cupcake from Roxie, she chilled right back next me with her Black Panther cupcake.

To smite Roxie, she kissed me hard and then walked away with a sway in her hips. “See ya baby boy.”

“Will she ever learn that she gotta have an ass to sway her hips?” Roxie chuckled a little, causing me to join in.

 Using the Steve Rogers pleading look, I had to do it. “I shouldn’t be laughing but I am. Don’t be mean please, I want this to work out. Please?”

“Fine. I’ll try, for you. ‘Boo.’” Now she felt like mocking, flipping her hair off her shoulder and batting her eyelashes. She’ll be the death of me.

“You are so wrong. Let’s go catch the fireworks before it gets too dark. Got an early day tomorrow.”

“That we do. You owe me a piggyback ride too.” Making sure we had everything she, threw the empty pizza pan anyway and hopped on my back as we journeyed back to Snow Whites castle.

“We also could have gone to the parking garage too.”

“What’s the fun I that? The castle is where we’ll get the best pictures in.”

Setting her down on the ground to lean against the railing to get a good view, we may have bought a few light up toys.

“Ok facts.” The fireworks illuminated her face like a stain glass window in a cathedral. One of the most breathtaking sights I’ve ever seen. 

As the show went on, something pulled us closer. Not sure what was going on but, our pinky fingers locked. The drive to her house was long but fulfilling. The day couldn't have gotten any better.

“Rox, you’re home now sweetheart. Imma head out too.” I sat her in her bed and pulled the covers up over her, till she grabbed my arm.

She mumbled gently, loud enough so I could hear. Even with the fan on. “Stay, please? You got clothes here anyway.” 

Smiling gently with a nod, I slipped in next to her and cuddle her like I always did. I wish my desires weren’t screaming at me in my head to go for it. Yet her sad excuse of boyfriend isn’t competition to me.

He’s the least of my worries.

[johnlockficclub]

Author Q&A Recap

We have to say, @prettysherlocksoldier was very lovely and everyone had a great time bantering back and forth.  So much fun, that for space we’ve kept it to just the questions and answers:

@sherlock-nanowrimo: Did you have any headcanons as you wrote this fic, that didn't make it into the story?

@prettysherlocksoldier: Not exactly, but I did sort of come up with the whole idea originally with the concept for Irene's radio show, and I wanted initially to have her somehow in that capacity work to set John and Sherlock up, but it didn't really come together that way and I wish I could have spent more time with her radio show.

@elwinglyre:  I loved the bantering that you included in this story. What inspiration did you use to write it?

@prettysherlocksoldier: Truthfully, I tend to write dialogue how I speak. And I'm EXTREMELY dry and sarcastic with my friends, so it just comes out of that with a characterized twist.  WELL OKAY so they are all like different sides I guess. John bridges the gap between sarcastic Dani and supportive friend Dani, and Sherlock is "I would never dare say this to your face but I am thinking it very loudly" Dani.

@elwinglyre: It sounds like you like to write kind of stream of consciousness at times. How much do you generally plan out in your writing. The dialogue is spontaneous but the rest is…? I’m always interested about this.

@prettysherlocksoldier: I always try to be a planner but I am a pantser at heart. Any time I attempt to outline it goes off the rails fairly quickly and I just let it, so most of it ends up being spontaneous. The only thing I pay fairly close attention to is the chronology, especially with a holiday story which has a set deadline (ie Christmas). I don't want to mention it's been a week and that would be New Years or something, so I keep track of that but otherwise I'm a mess.

@blue-posey: I love the play on words and puns and turns in your writing, but esp ‘every silver lining

@prettysherlocksoldier: I really don't know haha! Again, I guess I just sort of write like I talk. And, being an English major and a writer and generally a hopeless romantic, I am also occasionally very poetic (coughmelodramaticcough).

@blue-posey: Well, it is poetic.  As is the way Sherlock sees John throughout the book: golden hair, snowflake on his cheek etc.

@prettysherlocksoldier:  I've seen too many Hallmark movies, I will put a snowflake on every eyelash within reach.

@sherlock-nanowrimo: What draws you to writing unilock stories?  This was our first time reading unilock as a group and some folks hadn't ever read that trope before. It was a big hit

@prettysherlocksoldier: Well, at the time, I was in university, so that was a big part of it, but then I also just think it's a time of such potential, whether undergrad or grad school. I mean, school takes up so much of some people's lives, especially someone like John going into medicine, and those are formative years. So I like playing with the idea of meeting someone at this point in your life where everything is changing and you're trying to find your footing and settle into your own skin, and then here comes someone who shakes all that up and you sort of have to decide if you're going to grow TOGETHER or just keep forging your own path. It's a high-stakes time period and I'm just drawn to the dramatic potential in it, I suppose.

@elwinglyre: I also liked your foreshadowing in this with the elevator (going up and going down—so naughty and nice). And your whole pulling out the angst at the end with Sherlock. Great build up.

@prettysherlocksoldier: I love sort of...innocuous foreshadowing. Like it won't be HORRIBLE nothing TERRIBLE is going to happen because that's simply not what I write, but anything could come around again and suddenly have new meaning. It's just harmless turnabout haha.

@blue-posey:  Can I say I did a fist-in-the-air jig when John said about ‘nice’ boys asking for nudes!  It was really good to see it spelled out like that, esp coming from a male character.

@prettysherlocksoldier: I love John being this like...perfect stereotype of a Jock Jackass and then he's just...not. And it sort of unseats everyone around him and that's fun too. And I make everyone as raging liberal feminist as I am so there's also just that haha.

@elwinglyre: So… the big question: how do you feel about writing sex scenes???

@prettysherlocksoldier: OH MY GOD SO AWKWARD OH MY GOD I don't do it very often because I just... It is so difficult for me, I can't put my finger on why. When I do write them, they're either harried or I'm focusing more on the emotion because I just don't know how to make "thrust" sound sexy I just don't knowwww.

@sherlock-nanowrimo:  There were a number of details we loved, departures from frustrating aspects of canon. Like Molly not having a crush on Sherlock because everyone knows he's gay.  And John happily admitting he's bi. Did you have any intent to knock down some canon stuff or did it just come natural?

@prettysherlocksoldier: I think a lot of that comes out of unilock more than any particular intent of mine. Like, it's 2016 or whatever it was at the time, they're young, they're at a liberal universe in a world city, like I just...can't fathom Sherlock would not be out. Especially with someone like Irene around him, who I always make a supportive influence. John is a little more complication because of that jock persona and he might have some reservations about being open about his sexuality, but I just... I mean, growing up in a conservative home and environment that did not take kindly to me coming out, I just don't make much time for it in the worlds I get to create. Maybe I'm trying to rewrite my own history, but hey, the world's rough enough with even fictional gay people having to feel unsafe being themselves

@blue-posey: And talking about openness, I love how casually John says he’s bi

@prettysherlocksoldier: That moment actually meant a lot to me because it's like a chance for him to correct an assumption, and yes Sherlock is listening and that's part of it, but it's I think the moment when we're like OH WAIT HE MIGHT BE INTO IT and it's So Softe.

@wildishmazz:  When they nearly got pornographic near the end, were you toying with the idea of someone having to say the title to them?

@prettysherlocksoldier: I almost ALMOST had them do the classic bump-the-microphone-and-everyone-hears-you-boning, but decided against it haha.

@sherlock-nanowrimo: as we were reading the part with Mary, I know I tensed up wondering just how it was going to go.  But it wasn't toxic at all - -she made an effort to reconnect, but accepted her defeat with grace.

@prettysherlocksoldier: I have a hard time making Mary a rival. Maybe because I don't think she ever really was haha! But also I was disappointed in where her character ended up going and she deserved better and I am going to give it to her goshdarnit.

@blue-posey: I also loved this:

“Love conquers all,” the blond quipped, slowly lowering himself down beside Sherlock, back scraping against the wall. “No, it doesn’t,” Sherlock scoffed, turning through the pages. “It merely temporarily blinds people to flaws; it doesn’t actually conquer anything.”

I know it reads a bit defeatist, but I think it’s not.

@prettysherlocksoldier: I love a Sherlock who has sort of...put up this shield of cynicism around love simply because he doesn't think he'll find it, so it's easier to think the whole thing is stupid.  I mean we've all had a bad breakup and been like NEVERMIND LOVE IS A SHAM for a while.  Not to be a monster, but I always thought of Sherlock as someone who loves very deeply, just never expresses it because he perceives himself as unloveable.

@wildishmazz:  did John assume they were on the same page re: having been on dates and so therefore being dating?

@prettysherlocksoldier: John, god bless him, I think totally thought he was like courting this dude and doing it up right and being Super Romantic, and then Sherlock is just like BUT YOU DID NOT EXPLICITLY STATE.

@blue-posey:  @tildathings wanted to ask how you choose the radio station for the set up.

@prettysherlocksoldier: Oh god that is actually kind of embarrassing, so to be fair it was VERY LATE and I was DRIVING and I was VERY BORED but do y'all know that like late night advice radio show with that gravelly voice woman, Delilah??  I just thought what an Irene version of that would be like and everyone else just kind of came out of that and got their own shows and then it was just at a radio station and it's all Delilah's fault.

Thanks everyone for joining us for back to school fic! Many thanks to @prettysherlocksoldier for chatting with us!

[janellelucy]

too good at goodbyes

TAGGING: Janelle Puckerman & Cameron Weston

LOCATION: Their  house & the Hospital 

TIME FRAME: Thursday, May 7th; around 2:30pm-ish

WORD COUNT: 5222

NOTES: TRIGGER WARNING: do not read if you are sensitive to any talk about losing a child/miscarrying 

Janelle had drooped her phone into the cup holder of her car driving back home, but as she did she could feel cramps even more. The fact something really felt wrong she really tried to push it away, thinking that it was just because she got so mad at his mom that this would just pass. It wasn't long till she was pulling into their driveway, the cramps weren't as bad but they where still there, and she actually was getting worried about them now. Grabbing her bag from the back seat and then her phone from the cup holder and headed inside. She was greeted by Delilah who was happy to see her "hi sweetie, where's daddy?"

cameron had an off day today, and wanted to finish doing some work around the house. he started in the backyard, cutting the grass, trimming the bushes, the typical backyard upkeep. it didn't take him long to do that, an hour or two tops, and then he moved into the house, cleaning up some things, and finishing up hanging some pictures janelle wanted up on the walls. by the time janelle got home, cameron was starting on dinner, being nearly done as the quiet sound of their alarm system went off, signaling that the front door was open. "i'm in the kitchen, baby!" he called out, continuing to stir the pasta.

When she heard Cam's voice she let out a happy sigh, drooping her bag down on the table they had by the front door and kicked off her converse off, walking into the kitchen. "Hi." She said softly, going over kissing his cheek quickly "How was your day?"

cameron smiled at the bit of attention she gave him, turning his head so he could plant a kiss on her lips, "hey," he let the wooden spoon sit on top of the pot, turning fulling so he was facing her, "it was fine, i got almost everything done. the backyard is looking better, got those pictures hung, cleaned everything up." cam reached forward, wrapping his arms around her body, pulling her into his chest, "how was yours?"

Janelle wrapped her arm around him as he kissed her, letting her lips linger on his for a moment. "wow, and i didn't even leave you a honey-do list" She let out a happy sigh, feeling the cramps hit again, having her flinch a little before she could even answer cam

"i know, i'm really doing good, eh?" he laughed, leaning his head down, letting his forehead rest on hers. cameron could sense her tensing up and he pulled his head away, his brows furrowing, "what's wrong, baby? you okay?"

Janelle pulled away, wanting to say she was fine, but she knew she wasn't "no." She said softly. Janelle's voice was never lower than a whisper, and it was getting there as she felt another pain "i think there is something wrong.."

cameron placed both his hands on her upper arms, worried for what was to happen. she didn't look right - he could tell something was off, "what do you - mean wrong, janelle?" he asked, keeping his voice quiet, though there was a hint of urgency.

Janelle didn't know how to say it, her brain only going one way, and it wasn't the way she wanted it to be going. "It hurts.." She looked up at him as she tried to keep her breath steady but it was pretty shaky as she spoke.. "I'll be right back.." She pulled away from him, going to the bathroom down stairs, closing the door behind her. She pulled down her jeans, and underwear in one movement, looking down. it wasn't covered yet, but there was a heavy spotting, as she let out a sob.

cameron was quick to follow her as she pulled away, not understanding how she couldn't just let him in on something so serious. he knocked on the door, "janell -" he started, though he was cut off hearing her sob. without hesitation, he opened the door, not caring if she would have been angry about it or not. it took him a moment to register the scene in front of him, but once he did, he was kneeling down in front of her, "come here," he whispered, opening his arms.

Janelle had her elbows on top of her legs and her head in her hands, the silent tears flowing. Nothing felt off until today, and this was her worst fear. When Cam came in she barely moved, but did her arms going around him tightly crying into his chest. There was no way it wasn't what she thought it was, but she didn't want to be the one to say the word.

as soon as janelle fell into his arms, he held her tightly, and as close to his body as he possibly could. "it's okay, baby, you're okay," he whispered, moving his hand up to rub along the back of her head. cameron knew exactly what was happening, he knew what the bleeding meant, and he knew it was too late for them to fix anything. his heart was shattered, but he was doing his best to remain strong for his girlfriend, knowing that was what she needed.

Janelle just stayed there in his arms, for a good solid five minutes crying, "i..we should probably go to this hospital." She finally said barely above a whisper as she sniffled. She probably really didn't need to, but if she heard herself say the word, or cam say it, she needed to hear it from a doctor, she needed to know there was no baby.

cameron was prepared to stay there for as long as she needed to, holding her as tightly as he could, trying his best to provide her some form of comfort, "alright, yeah, do you want to go now?" he asked quietly, his hand still moving along her hair. "it's going to be okay, sweetheart, you know that, right? it's okay." he tried again, his voice hopeful, though there was a hint of pain, of sadness.

Janelle nodded her head up and down. "i know." She said, her voice kind of monotone. "I'm.. I'm just gonna go up stairs and change really quick, okay?" She dropped her arms from where they had been tightly gripping his sides. As he let her go, she got up and made her way up stairs. She changed out of her black jeans  and put on a different pair of underwear along with a pad - not wanting to ruin another pair, and then pulled on a pair of sweat pants before going back down stairs.

cameron nodded his head slowly at her response, not really knowing what else he could say to help her in this situation. he let her leave his embrace, sitting back on the bathroom tile as she walked away. his head fell, a hand immediately moving up to run through his hair, tugging slightly on the ends. cam could feel himself starting to get emotional, he could feel himself starting to break, but he quickly snapped out of it and stood up and off the ground. he put their puppy in her little pen, giving her a quick pet on the top of her head before he stood up, looking to janelle, "you ready?" he asked quietly.

Janelle shook her head "no. but guess i have to be." She forced out a laugh, before going back over to him, her arms wrapped back around him. "I'm sorry." She mumbled into his chest. Though she couldn't control what her body did, she felt like it was her fault she lost the baby still.

"it'll be okay," he spoke quietly, wrapping his arms tightly around her small body. he could practically feel his heart breaking as the words came from her mouth. cameron pulled away from her, cupping her face in both of his hands, "you need to listen to me, right now." he spoke, his words firm, yet still quiet, "i don't ever want to hear you say that again. you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. this is not your fault, this is not my fault, this is not anyone's fault. okay? things just - happen. maybe it - wasn't the right time for us. but - you're not to blame for this." with every word cameron spoke, he could feel his eyes welling up, and though he blinked quickly to keep them from falling, they were still visible.

Janelle let out a sigh as his hands went to her face. She knew he was right, everything he said was true. it wasn't either of their fault. shit just happens. "ok." she reached up though pushing away cam's tears before they spilled over his eyes.

cameron rubbing his thumbs along her cheeks slowly, letting out a soft sigh as he stared at her, "i'm serious, janelle. it's not your fault." he whispered, closing his eyes quickly as she began to wipe at them. he didn't want her to see him like this, so upset and broken, he needed to be strong, now more than ever.

"Okay cam." Janelle repeated herself letting her thumb fall from his face letting out a sigh. "lets just go..okay?" She put her hand on his wrist to slowly pulled them down before she pulled away to grab her bag, and the two of them started outside.

cameron let out a sigh, wishing janelle could just believe his words, but he stopped repeating himself, and let his hands fall to his sides. "yeah - okay," he mumbled, the tone of his voice defeated. he soon walked towards the front door, grabbing his keys and his wallet, sliding both into his pockets and began to make his way outside towards the car.

Janelle let out a soft sigh. she just wanted it confirmed that it was in fact what it was that happened and try and move on. she was already heart broken over it. and she knew cam was too. its not your fault kept ringing in her ears as they sat in the car on the drive to the hospital. She didn't get it, how wasn't it her fault how wasn't it her fault that her own body wanted to reject the baby. She let her head lean on the window watching the outside not saying much on the drive.

cameron made sure janelle got into the car okay before he did the same. a majority of the drive, he kept to himself, and ignored the pressing need to fill up the silence of the car. but after a few minutes, he reached his hand over and grabbed a tight hold of janelle's. cameron needed her to know that he was right here, though all of it. he wasn't going anywhere. the drive wasn't long, but it felt like forever. he pulled into the parking lot, glancing over to her now, "should we go into the er?" he asked, not really knowing how to handle a situation like this.

When Cam had reached over to take her hand, she adjusted them, so her fingers were laced into his, smiling just a tiny bit. "um..i'd assume er? I don't think we'd really be able to go any place else?"

cameron nodded his head, but kept his words to himself, not really knowing what else to say in the moment. he found a parking space, and pulled into it, taking the keys out of the ignition. before she could get out of the car, cameron turned his body, cupping her cheek in his hand, pulling her into him. he placed a kiss to her lips, staying there for a moment before he pulled just an inch away, "i love you. more than anything in this whole world. you know that, right? you're my everything, janelle. despite all the things we've been through, or are going through. nothing will ever make me love you any less than i love you right now."

Janelle shifted a little bit as he stopped the car, ready to get out before he pulled to to him, having her kiss back, almost relaxing a little, as if she actually needed that more than anything right now, though tears filled her eyes again, nodding. "I know. I love you too Cam" She said softly pushing her tears away, shaking her head. "you're my soulmate, there is nothing that the two of us can't do together." She whispered leaning back into him to kiss him softly. cameron let his thumb rub against her cheek softly, hoping that his actions would bring her some form of comfort, "you and me against the world, huh?" he whispered, kissing her back as she leaned in. after a rather long moment, he pulled back, "you ready to go?" cam asked, still keeping his voice rather quiet.

"Always." She smiled her hand reaching for his face as they kissed, but the second he pulled away she dropped it. "As ready as I'll ever be." She nodded, reaching for the car door to get out. Walking inside, the waiting room didn't have many people and that could be a good or bad thing.  She kept her hand tightly in Cam's as she went up to the counter. The nurse greeted her and asked her what was the reason for coming in. Janelle explained it, they took her information, as she gave her id, and her insurance car. Getting things handed back and a wrist band on, they told them to have a seat someone would be out shortly to take her vitals before anything else could happen.

cameron wasn't planning on leaving her side even for a moment, even as she went up to the counter, he kept his hand in hers, holding onto her tightly. he waited as the nurse talked to janelle, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand throughout the whole interaction. as the nurse told them to take a seat, cameron nodded his head, and lead janelle over to a group of chairs. he waited for her to sit down before he took the seat next to her, his arm immediately wrapping around her body.

Janelle sat down with him, moving as close to him as she could, as she put her things away back into her wallet, trying to keep busy. there was only so much you could do in a waiting room, so with putting those cards back into her wallet she found it a good time to try and clean it out, staying quiet, as she looked at receipts she had crumpled up in there, and her little bit of cash she did keep in there in four different spots trying to put it all back into one pile.

cameron watched as she dug apart her wallet, chuckling softly as she began to organize everything. he leaned his head in, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek before he let his head rest on her shoulder. after a moment, he began humming softly, the tune to her favorite song, trying again to provide some kind of distraction.

Janelle let out a sigh as he leaned into her as she moved stuff around. "Do you want this?" She asked softly holding out one of those punch cards for a local sub shop that if you got them all punched you got a free thing. she didn't even know how she had it because she couldn't remember the last time she had gone to that sub shop.

cameron couldn't help but chuckle softly, shaking his head at her offer, "i'm good, baby, thank you. do you want me to take it for you so i can throw it out later, though?" he asked, picking his head up just enough for him to be able to look at her.

Janelle looked between him, and the pile of trash that was sitting on top of her bag, shaking her head as she dropped it down into the pile she had for the trash. "No it's fine." She finished up her wallet, putting it in his lap, not wanting to put it on the seat next to her as she started to dig through her bag. She found not one, not two, but three pairs of headphones, two charging cabled, a wall plug, a portable charger, the bag she normally had all her lipsticks in  - empty, a half bottle of water, an unopened starbucks frapachino drink, more receipts, all of her lipsticks - putting them right back into her makeup bag, fifteen hair ties, two half packs of gum, gum wrappers, a bunch of pens, a mini notebook, her broken popsocket, her planner, keys, and last but not least, an ulta gift card at the bottom. "I think i need to clean this out more often" she mumbled, grabbing her wallet back from cam to slip the gift card into one of the pockets, before trying to find spots and homes for most of the stuff, as the trash pile kept growing bigger.

cameron sat back in his own seat, watching her pick apart her bag with wide eyes, not understanding how that many things could fit in a bag of that size, "jesus, janelle, it's like the fuckin' marry poppins bag, isn't it?" he asked, his eyebrows raised, letting out a laugh.

Janelle couldn't help but let out a laugh. "I'm sorry there is no hat stand in my bag." She teased playfully elbowing him.  she got all the trash together getting up and throwing it away before coming back and sat down with him leaving her head on his shoulder. "Please tell me that took me longer than i think it did?"

"what a damn shame," he chuckled, looking over at her, "i was really hoping for like - a pet elephant or something. 'lilah could use a buddy." it was making cameron happy to see a genuine smile on janelle's face, something that had been foreign for the last few hours, "took you like - ten fifteen minutes, i think?"

"We do not have room for a pet elephant." She shook her head letting out a sigh. "I was hoping you were about to say a half hour." she mumbled, the smile fading quickly knowing where she was again. it was only about five minutes later her name was called. She got up, taking Cam's hand  with hers and walked into the little room where they took her temperature, blood pressure, height, weight and everything. When it came to asking more about the pain and the bleeding. "It slides? like right this second it a zero, but back at home it was like a five or a six? and as far as the blood goes it seemed like a very heavy flow." her hand went to her belly and the nurse asked a few more questions before leaving, leaving the pair in that small office. only a minute or two later she was back taking them into the er to a room. "A doctor will be in with you guys in a few minutes."

"dammit, i think we could make room," he teased, offering up another small smile. cameron shook his head at her words, moving to wrap his arm back around her much smaller body. he kept her close until her name was called, and even then, he made sure he kept his hand held tightly in her own. he remained by her side even in the small office, balancing on his toes right next to the chair she was sat in, his hand placed gently on her knee. cam made sure he could stay near her even as the nurse was doing what she needed to do, and as soon as she was out of the room, cameron was leaning in to press a kiss to janelle's forehead, "you doing okay?" he asked in a whisper.

Janelle sat on the bed, her feet dangling off the floor. It was more waiting that she didn't want  to do. "I'm fine." She said looking up to him. "are you okay?" She asked. It couldn't be easy on him knowing that they lost the baby, knowing how excited he was for it too.

cameron stood up slowly, letting his arm move to rest behind her, his hand rubbing up and down her back gently, "i'm okay, baby, don't worry about me," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair, "is your stomach hurting you? do you want me to rub it?" cameron was nearly scrambling to find ways to bring her some comfort, it being the only thing he could do in this moment, even if it didn't work as well as he would want it to.

"Cameron." She said simply looking back at him. "Don't make me pull what you did to me earlier." She moved to look at him. "And no. not right now." She told him, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Just don't leave." She said softly.

"oh come on, i'm telling you i'm fine, so i'm fine. i promise," he smiled, leaning in to kiss her forehead yet again. cam kept his hand moving along her back, nodding his head when she said that her stomach felt okay, "leave? never, baby. i'm not leaving." he reassured, shaking his head, his words firm, yet still quiet.

"Uh huh sure." She mumbled leaning into him "So just cause im saying I'm fine, you think I'm actually fine too then?" she questioned shaking her head "no even if they ask you to leave, can you just not.. like i don't want you to go anywhere."

cameron let out a sigh, moving so he could sit on the edge of the bed, keeping his hand moving on her back, “can we not focus on me right now, please?” truthfully, he was still getting used to being open about his feelings with people, and right now, he didn’t want to have to think about himself. he wanted to be focused on her, “i told you, baby, i’m not going anywhere. i don’t care if they want me to leave or not, i’m staying right here.”

She dropped it. she didn't want the fight right now, or try and force him to talk about it. Janelle nodded "alright okay thank you." she moved a little bit so she could wrap her arm around him. "I love you." she whispered softly.

cameron nodded his head slowly, letting his forehead rest softly on her shoulder, "i love you too, baby," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her upper arm, "wanna thumb wrestle?" cam spoke up after a moment of silence, holding his hand up in the air.

Janelle let out a laugh, not knowing how to respond to him "Thumb wrestle?" She giggled leaning up and kissed him "I guess so." She put her hand out with her thumb out

"yeah - thumb wrestle. what else are we gonna do?" he shrugged, sitting up slightly. cameron couldn't help but smile as she giggled, despite the situation they were in, her laugh was his favorite sound, and he missed it more than anything. he curled his fingers around her own, moving his thumb back and forth, "alright - ready? one - two - three - four, i declare a thumb - war!" as he finished his last word, he used his thumb to pretend to 'punch' her own, making sound effects to go along with it.

Janelle shook her head pulling her legs up and crossing them. "Ready." she moved her thumb back and forth as he started it. She was never good at this and knew either she was going to lose or he was going to let her win. Moving her thumb around trying to get his to go down

cameron laughed quietly, trying to move his thumb away from hers. he could easily put her thumb down right now, and win the whole game, but where was the fun in any of that? he continued to move around, avoiding her finger, laughing as he did.

There was no use, his thumb was able to move around quicker than hers. "Just go and win, you're going to anyways." She always hated this game it was more likely for her to win rock paper scissors then this.

cameron shrugged at her words, looking away for just a moment when he heard some people shuffling outside their door. it gave her an opportunity, one that he didn't mean for, but still an opportunity to pin his thumb down.

Janelle watched him look away, and she quickly pinned his thumb down "One two three" she said in less than two second "I win!" she giggled just as the door opened and the doctor walked in. "Ms. Puckerman?" The doctor asked, leading Janelle to nod her head up and down. "I'm Doctor Andrews." She looked down at the paper work "So you came in because of some cramping and bleeding. Had you know if you were -" Janelle quickly cut her off. "I was pregnant. I know I was. and  I know with pcos that its harder for me to get pregnant, and have the higher chances of a.." She stopped herself she still didn't want to say the word. Dr. Andrews nodded. "We can go get an ultrasound and check then if that is what you want." She nodded "please."

cameron stood up quickly when the doctor came in, yet he kept his hand held tightly in janelle's, wanting to make sure she knew that he was always going to be right there next to her. he listened intently to the doctor, moving his free hand along her back yet again, trying to soothe her, as he knew she would more than likely be anxious. cam stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt either of of the women as they spoke.

As the doctor left Janelle let out a small sigh blinking back tears. "She was gonna tell me without even checking wasn't she." She said somewhat monotone. She let go of his hand  running both of her hands over her face, just wishing this wasn't happening.

without hesitation, cameron wrapped both his arms around her small body, bringing her close to his chest, "she would have checked you out, baby, she has to before she can say anything," he whispered, pressing his lips to the top of her head, "it's okay, sweetheart, it'll all be okay."

"But.." she sighed turning into his body just so she could hold herself closer to him. "It just seemed that way. that she already knew. I know it is what it is but.. be at least fucking positive yknow?"  she mumbled into his chest.

he kept her as close as he possibly could, moving one of his hands to rub along the back of her head, "i don't think she was doing that, elle. she's probably just really busy, and was moving really quickly. it's okay," he whispered, pressing his lips to her head yet again. Janelle just let out a sigh closing her eyes as he rubbed the back of her head. 

Maybe..yeah." She mumbled staying there for a moment not wanting to move.

cameron kept placing multiple kisses to the top of her head, beginning to hum the same song he began earlier in the waiting room. he let his hand continue moving along the back of her head, trying yet again to provide her some kind of comfort. he hated more than anything that he couldn't make her feel good, that he couldn't help her at all.

Janelle pulled away after a few minutes hearing something outside the door. When a nurse walked in with Dr. Andrews and an ultrasound machine. They set it up. As they did Janelle took of the hoodie she had on keeping on the tanktop she had on, as she laid down, moving the top up, and letting the doctor do her thing. She didn't even want to look at them, just looking over at cam the whole time waiting for some type of reaction from him.

cameron moved away just slightly, though his hand stayed tightly in hers, only removing it when she needed to take her sweatshirt off, but even then, he put it right back where it was before. as the nurse and doctor did what they needed to do, cameron let his fingertips brush up and down her arm, hoping the action would distract her in some way.

As Dr Andrews moved it along Janelle's belly where there should have been a baby. There was nothing there, no baby, no heart beat. "I'm so sorry Janelle." She started, but everything after that was a a blur, the only other words she heard was the one she had been trying to avoid saying. "..Miscarriages are more common then people realize.." She closed her eyes tightly holding back tears, her hand still in Cams as she sighed. "I'm going to have some blood drawn before you two leave. Once we get that we can discharge you and we can call you and let you know about the blood work. I also want you to go make an appointment with your obgyn for them to do another round of blood work plus see how you're doing and feeling." Janelle nodded, not saying anything. Dr. Andrews and the nurse left, only for the nurse to come back to take her blood a few minutes later. Janelle rubbed at the spot on her arm where the needed had been, always hating getting poked.

cameron could literally feel his heart shattering in his chest, his whole world was crashing down, everything was on fire, and there was not a single thing for him to do about it. he just had to sit back and watch everything fall. he gripped janelle's hand tightly, looking at her with the most hopeful and happy look he could muster up, something he had gotten relatively good at, though it was clear that a part of him was missing. that something had just been ripped out of him. "you did good, baby, i'm proud of you," he whispered, letting his lips curl up into a smile, speaking only after the nurse came back in to draw her blood.

Janelle grabbed the hoodie putting it into her lap. "Thanks?" She tried to laugh but it was so forced out that it was the fakest laugh she had ever heard from herself. "I just wanna go home." she mumbled.

"baby," he mumbled, letting out a sigh, "i - yeah, alright," he nodded his head, not bothering to say much else other than that. cameron had no choice but to let her hurt the way she needed to, and he needed to realize that he couldn't do anything to help her this time. he stood up fully, holding his hand out for her to take if she wanted it.

Janelle got up off of the bed putting the hoodies back on, grabbing her bag and the discharge papers the nurse gave her. She took his hand walking out, she stopped at the front desk and they said she was all good to go. all janelle wanted now was to wake up from this horrible nightmare.