#suicide and depression

[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

Heaven knows (We belong way down below prt 2) part 1

Dark! HOTD slasher au

Tags: Slasher, blood, school-au, witchcraft and magic

Cool devider credits: firefly graphics

🔷Summary: You arrive in a town, where everyone has a horrible secret.

🔷Author's note: Based on scream mtv, but with my own unique twists, please head the warnings

🔷Wordcount :5300

🔷Warnings: Drugs, suicide and depression, scars, witchcraft and witchhunting, graphic descriptions of violence and major character deaths, and slight traumatised oc.

Aegon the conqueror  School, Dragon town, Local time: 8:20.

Told from the pov of our oc/mc.

Your feet tap impatiently against one another, as you wait for the dean to finish reading your latest school reports. The man introduced himself as Corlys Velyaron, and wanted to personally welcome you to the Aegon the Conqueror school, named after Westeros’s biggest conqueror, who created the seven kingdoms you are living in right now.

Corlys is busy reading your work, looking at stunning reviews from your past teachers, your part-time job, hell even the hospital you briefly worked in left a promising review. ‘’Your GPA looks flawless, Miss…?” You can see him try to find your name written on the papers, but you help him before he finds it. 

You uncross your legs. ‘’Waters. Y/n Waters.’’ It has been a while since people didn’t glance at you in worry when you mentioned your last name. Your dean does not seem to know what tragedy happened in your hometown. And he never will, if you have a say in it.

He nods, but does look at the front paper of the big folder you handed him earlier.  ‘’Miss Waters. You were the top of your class at your former school, participated in multiple student after school activities, tutored students, and had somehow time for a part-time job, as well as volunteering in the local hospital?’’ He sounds impressed, and you feel conflicting emotions. You did do all of that, it's just a shame you had to quit.

Yet you fake a easy smile, something that has come naturally to you these past few months.‘’What can I say, I’m a busy bee.’’

He puts the folder down on his desk.

‘’Except, I notice that after April 22 this year, there has been a decline. You stopped volunteering, you quit tutoring and gave up on all your after school activities.’’ And there it is. Your chest fills with dread as you think back of what happened. You still see the bodies floating in the water, lifeless, moving at the mercy of the tides, as rubber ducks at a fair, bobbing up and down, up and down, their mouths wide open when water streams in their lungs suffocating them when their eyes scream for help, scream at you, to help.

Your feet start to shake, and you are happy you wear your favorite hoodie, with your hands hidden away in your pocket. ‘’Miss Waters?’’ Mr Velyaron has sat down across the couch, on a comfy looking reading chair, worry carved into his eyes. ‘’Are you alright?’’

You are most certainly not.

‘’I’m fine.’’ You lie, easily hiding your feelings away from now. ‘’Something happened, back home. I don’t like to get into it, if that is alright.’’ You aren’t sure he would believe you, anyway.

Corlys smiles, not asking any more questions, even changing the subject. ‘’Of course. We had assigned a lovely girl to show you around, top of her class too, Baela Velyaron, my own granddaughter. I think you two would be good friends.’’ You don’t know of her, but who knows? A friend could be fun.

His face becomes crestfallen. ‘’But, something unfortunately happened to her boyfriend, and now she has taken a day off.’’ That sounds serious.

‘’O, I hope nothing serious?’’

Corys smiles, his smile reaches further than it should. ‘’Nothing to worry about, Miss Waters.’’ You nod, but that is not an answer. In fact, it is a very clear deflection.

—-----------------------------------------------

You are out of his office by the time the lunch break has just started. Several students walk past you, taking you in when clearly gossiping about you behind your back. Your hands shake slightly, but you force your hands to remain still. They can’t know. No one knows. No one will know now, and no one will ever know. You take a few steadying breaths before walking out of the smelly big hall to the courtyard. 

Apparently, according to the little research you did, this place used to be a castle once. You can definitely see that back in the architecture, as the school seems to have an ancient part and a more modern part. The ancient part is clearly the castle, where the libraries and classrooms are. In the modern building, there is a high-tech computer lab, one of the most advanced in Westeros, as well as an impressive gym.

You open your backpack decorated with pins of your favorite bands and artists, searching for your water bottle and your sandwich. You have just grabbed your sandwich when a dark-haired girl with bright brown eyes stares at you, smiling. She points at your One-handed-pirates pin. ‘’Oh my gosh, I love that band.’’ You are shocked. You don’t think you ever met someone who liked that band before, aside from online.

‘’You do?’’ You mutter, but you quickly talk over yourself. ‘’I do too.’’ You say, like a normal human being would. ‘’Especially their second album.’’ It used to be your comfort album. But the band makes songs with dark lyrics, and you can’t listen to it anymore for now, perhaps forever.

The unknown girl nods as if understanding you completely. 

‘’Hmhm, Crocodile slaps so hard. I do feel like their last album lost their touch.’’ She says. ‘’They got too greedy.’’ She adds with a smirk.  It is the truth, they got so caught-up with making money that their story stopped making sense.

You nod, recalling how much you hated the last album. ‘’Oh my god, finally someone agrees.’’ Online you once shared your opinion on the album, and a lot of fans disagreed. 

The girl sees your water bottle, decorated with pokemon stickers, piplups and snorlaxes. ‘’You’re the new girl right?’’ She guesses. Is it that obvious? ‘’I love piplup, the best grass-starter.’’ She gushes, excitedly. But you are still busy with what she said about you being the new girl. 

You nod, unsure, as alarm bells start ringing in your head, causing you to put your sandwich back in your bag. ‘’Yes-’’ Does she know? Did someone find out?

Instead she grabs your hand, dragging you with her to a group of students, sitting and chilling on a picnic blanket, laughing and talking with each other. ‘’I’m Floris.’’ The girl says, before she forces you to sit down by the strange people.  ‘’This is my favorite, newest friend. Everyone, meet Y/N.’’

And just like that, all eyes are on you.

‘’Hello, everyone.’’ You comment, dryly. ‘’I’m uhm y/n.’’ You grab your water bottle and take a sip when they watch and study you in silence as if you are a dinosaur who just has been brought back to life.

A furious-looking girl with silver gorgeous hair crosses her arms over her red t-shirt. The name of the band on her shirt is a punk band too, and you like some of their music as well.

‘’Do you mind? We are mourning here.’’ She accusingly points a finger to the photo you accidentally kicked over while sitting down. 

‘’I’m sorry...?’’ You look around confused. Someone is dead? 

A guy with dirty silver hair and a cheeky grin speaks to you, explaining very vaguely what is going on. 

‘’Oh, yeah, one of the school’s golden boys was murdered yesterday on his yacht. Real sad.’’ He sounds sarcastic.

You feel your heart stop beating for a moment, as the words echo through your mind and two familiar eyes stare at you, accusingly when his bloodied fingers try to grab your hand. 

In reality, you sit, but you have become very quiet and your feet shake lightly. The girl with the red t-shirt speaks again. ‘’It is sad. Jace had his whole future ahead of him, and some animal killed him.’’ You don’t know her name, but judging by her golden necklace, it is Rhaena.

‘’That is the beauty of stars,’’ Aegon says, interrupting Rhaena. ‘’The faster they burn, the harder they fall.’’

Floris nods, her head bobbing up and down. ‘’It is sad.’’ She proclaims dramatically.

The guy sighs, as if is getting very annoyed by all of this. ‘’Is it? It was a matter of time before he would fall overboard, high as fuck on drugs and drown.’’ He simply says. You don’t hear much after the conversation that happens, your mind going back because of that final word. Drown. Drown. Drown. It takes root in your brain, torturing you with the same images over and over again.

Rhaena and Floris and the boy keep arguing for a while. You do hear a few interesting things. ‘’That’s not what happened.’’ Rhaena says, now furious. She is very defensive of whoever died.

The guy is called Aegon. ‘’How would you know? Oh, I forgot. Your boyfriend is the Sheriff's son.’’ Your eyes widen slightly, uncomfortable. Is he suggesting that Rhaena had her boyfriend scoop through police evidence?

Rhaena does little to defend herself, making it only worse and pissing Aegon off even more, as you become more nauseous and uncomfortable, having always disliked arguments.  ‘’Maybe he is, but you are guilty. You gave him drugs.’’ You look at Floris, who watches the whole thing happen with a smile on her lips almost amused, enjoying the drama between her friends.

She looks at your shaking hands with an eyebrow raised. You quickly hide them away in your pockets.  ‘’Aeg is our Green King, so to speak.’’ She means drugs. He is a drugsdealer. You regret befriending and following Floris right away. You don’t need drugs in your already messed up life.

And finally, Aegon snaps at Rhaena and he snaps hard. ‘’Jace was a big boy, he could make his own choices. Which is why he loved your sister, and fucked you as his little dirty secret behind her back.’’ You feel horrible for Rhaena as a lot of students overhear and giggle to themselves or to each other.

Rhaena stands up, fury written in her eyes. ‘’Aegon!’’ She scolds him. Floris giggles too.

He leans back, daring her to hurt him.

‘’What? Did I say something improper? Did I say something shocking? Welcome to life, Rhaena.’’ He opens his arms dramatically, before ignoring her.

She balls her hands into fists. ‘’You’re a monster.’’ Rhaena whispers before walking away from the two. A mysterious girl with silver long locks sits down. She wears black shorts over a ripped long legging and her tank top has spiderweb details. One look at you, however, and her kind smile becomes a scowl. 

Floris chuckles, shaking her head when opening a bag of chips and starts to eat them, unbothered about Rhaena. ‘’Is it true, did Rhaena sleep with...Jace?’’ She asks, curious and you feel sickened. 

Aegon grins, touching her ass, as you become even more sickend and look at the silver-haired girl. You make a disgusted face as if to ask her: Does this weird you out too?

‘’You think I’m a liar?’’ He asks when Floris laughs, delighted by him cupping and touching her ass. 

She shrugs, playing with his silver hair. You will not let her touch your water bottle until she washes her hands. Aegon’s hair likely never sees any water. ‘’I think you’re a Targaryen.’’ She responds, and you find that a very interesting last name.

Aegon groans, pretending to be offended when putting his hand on his right chest. His heart is not there. Does he know that? ‘’Ouch, love, you hurt me so deeply.’’ He leans in and kisses Floris before handing her a little bag with white powder, very subtly, you almost didn’t notice it. Floris grins, kissing his cheeks before putting it in her stylish handbag.

‘’I like drama, Rhaena could deny it, but she didn’t. I think that says enough, doesn't it?’’ Aegon says.

‘’But I digress, our mysterious new girl is very quiet.’’ 

The girl shrugs before playing with her reptile necklace before taking in your pokemon stickers. ‘’Wow, Aeg. I thought you had your charity work done this quarter?’’ You raise a brow, offended. ‘’We are like the richest family in town. What do your parents do, exactly? Remember, charity is only admirable if you earn above 500k a month.’’ You decide to not even answer her. Your parents are not even in town. 

Aegon clicks his tongue, disapprovingly. ‘’Hel, be nice.’’

Hel, apparently, a very fitting name, is insulted. ‘’I am nice. I just want an answer.’’ She whines a bit at him.

The green king ignores her whines, turning his bright sharp eyes to you with a curious interested grin. ‘’Yeah. I heard you came from Wolftown. What made you leave?’’ You won’t tell him if he tortured it out of you.

‘’Some stuff happened there.’’ You say, casually keeping it vague.

Hel perks up, looking at you as if she can see straight through you. As if you are made of pure glass and she can read all your secrets. ‘’What kind of stuff? Did you kill someone?’’

The air in your lungs is cut off as you panic silently, fighting the urge to run away from them all.

You try to defend yourself but you can’t. Luckily, Aegon does it for you. ‘’Calm it down, paranoia girl.’’ He jests.

Hel tilts her head, glaring daggers at you. ‘’It’s not paranoia, Dragon town sees no to zero crime, and she comes here and suddenly Jace is dead. You are all too welcoming to her, she is hiding something.’’ You are, but that is not related to Jace’s death.  

Now that you have been openly accused of murder, Aegon glares at Hel. ‘’Everyone has a motive here to kill your boy. He bullied Aemond, nearly into suicide, he was a sexist prick to most girls, and still got all the attention and the glory. He nailed Baela, Rhaena, and Sansa, he nailed his best friend’s sister and his girlfriend, and he still was considered a good guy.  If you ask me, half of the town wanted him dead, and the other half got drunk when they heard he was dead.’’ You listen, silently before thanking Aegon for defending you with a small smile.

He takes a sip of his drink, before grinning brightly at you. ‘’Oh, sorry y/n. You must think we are crazy, don’t you?’’ You do. But who is healthy, in a world this crazy?

‘’Perhaps.’’ You mutter, uncomfortable they are throwing out secrets left and right.

Aegon sits a little straighter. ‘’Hm. You and I should talk sometimes. You seem to appreciate a good time, don’t you?’’ He means the drugs.

You sigh, you don’t need drugs in your life. So, you decide to become a drugsdealer worst enemy: A buzzkill. ‘’Isn’t that illegal?’’

There is a brief glare but it changes once Aegon has a way to talk himself out of it. ‘’Only if you get caught, babygirl.’’ To make things worse, he moves a little closer and dares to lay a hand on your behind that is covered by your jeans. He grins, cheekily.

You snap. ‘’Ok, daddy. I’m going to count to three, if you haven’t removed your hands from my ass, I’m breaking them.’’ Aegon removes his hands before you start counting, grinning as if he likes being told no.

‘’Ouch, kitty got claws. Fine, have it your way, gorgeous.’’ He grins, getting up from the blanket. ‘’Ladies, it has been your pleasure, as always. But I have things to do.’’ You nearly vomit. To you, he glares. And you can tell it won’t end by this. ‘’Something tells me this won’t be our final interaction. You’ll be back.’’

You huff. ‘’In your dreams.’’

There is that fucking grin again. ‘’That and so much more, babygirl. Daddy needs to take care of some stuff now, be right back.’’

You are glad he is leaving, however.

Floris smirks. ‘’You and Aeg look cute together.’’ She says. No you don’t.

You are furious she even implied it. ‘’That guy touched my ass without my consent.’’ You say. Hel huffs, before following Aegon as a loyal mindless minion.

Floris sees it differently than you, in another terrifying way. ‘’Consent is boring, y/n. Live a little.’’ You can’t believe you liked this girl. 

That goes too far. ‘’You only hang with him for his drugs, don’t you?’’ You remark, sweetly as her voice, mimicking her rapidly blinking eyes. ‘’That’s why you are cool with him touching you. It’s how you pay for his drugs.’’

Floris drops her bag of chips, before glaring at you, annoyed. ‘’What is your problem?!’’ She shouts, drawing attention to the both of you. 

You cross your arms, picking your stuff and preparing to leave as well.

‘’Who’s idea was it to approach me? His or yours?’’ You ask, taking her by surprise and causing her to gulp.

She scoffs. ‘’His. I never liked your stupid bands or your lame ass pokémon.’’ You glare at Aegon from a distance who waves back, smiling when kissing another girl, likely another client of his.

You smile, condescending as well. ‘’I could tell. You are not a pokémon fan if you call Piplup a ‘’grass starter.’’’’ You walk away from her, entering the school building.

—--------

‘’History, and propaganda have always been very closely connected.’’ Mr Borros, your history teacher enthusiastically tells. You find he can tell history well, and he makes it interesting, using nowadays examples to create immersion and depth. He points at a random student on their phone with dark black hair, smirking at his screen and clearly texting some dear to him. ‘’You guys see, If me and Mr Cole were at war, and I would kill him in a private duel, I control the narrative. I could tell the most horrible lies about him-’’ He takes the phone from Cole, reading what he has been up to. ‘’How he’s terrible at sexting for one.’’ The students laugh, you included. He rereads what Cole typed, who has become as red as a tomato. ‘’Although, that’s not a lie. I pity her, she puts up with you a lot. That is the best you can come up with? My wife reads erotic novels on her kindle that are better written.’’ He tosses the phone back and Cole needs to make an effort to catch it. But he does put his phone away, embarrassed as his friends laugh.

Borros claps his hands, before speaking, excited. ‘’Class. I have an exciting project for you all. You work in duos working on a documentary, telling a story from two points of views. Two recordings, in fact. One will be the truth, one will be the lies.’’ You expect people to moan and to complain, but you only hear excited gushes and people who quietly ask each other if they want to work together.

Your hand shoots up in the air, a bit confused. ‘’But, isn’t that a bit weird? Don’t we all know the lies already? For example, no one is going to believe that the Titanic didn’t sink or that the Roman empire still exists today.’’ Borros grins, amused by your comment.

‘’Elleborate.’’

You don’t think you ever heard a class sincerely listening to you, without moaning that you should just shut the fuck up. So you take your moment, as Borros seems interested in your views. ‘’In my honest opinion, sir, History is like restoring a glass. You won’t ever get a full glass back.’’

‘’But you can get a impression how it looked like, but what is a truth now, might be a lie years later.’’ You tell. A few people mutter that you make an excellent point. A girl with brown hair speaks up too.

‘’I agree, she is right.’’

‘’Very good take, Miss Waters.’’ Borros says, with a respectful nod. You feel better than you did before class with the Aegon Floris drama. It helps that they don’t participate in this class too. ‘’Very well, class. It doesn’t matter if we all know the lies and the truth, just make two videos, and pick a subject close to your heart. You all just have fun with this, ok? That is important. If I see you put in fun and effort, and a bit of research, I’m happy.’’ You find that a little strange, no teacher ever was that casual. Borros suddenly gets a murderous glance in his eyes before pointing at the males in class, specifically making the ‘’i-see-you–’’gesture with his fingers, pointing to his eyes. ‘’And for fuck sake, boys, don’t all pick the roman empire.’’

He peels a banana, taking a bite.‘’I’m so bloody sick of the roman empire….’’ He mutters when he devours the banana.

Around you, people pair up and you remain alone at your desk. Borros throws away the peel, before he looks around the class. ‘’Awh, does no one want to work with you?’’ You gawk at his mood swings and his boldness.

You stutter, becoming upset. ‘’I-’’

He grins, before walking to a desk next to where a guy is sitting, alone. ‘’Just teasing, luckily, Mr Targaryen seems to have an empty spot! How lucky for you both!’’ Mr Targaryen is the guy in the leather jacket with the long silver hair, and when he turns around you can clearly see he misses an eye. He also clearly despises you. That must be a relative to Aegon. There’s no other way.

You can see that his glare becomes more intense as you slowly move your stuff to the empty desk, dryly giving him a smile. ‘’Hey, I’m Y/N.’’ You notice he smells very nice.

‘’Aemond.’’ Your eyes widen. That Aemond. The Aemond the dead guy nearly bullied into suicide. Your eyes look at his slender wrists and you can make out clear scars. You quickly look away as he glares at you, putting his hands under the table.  ‘’Hey, Aemond. Nice to meet you.’’ You mutter.

‘’Hmph.’’ Great. 

You open your notebook and grab one of your pokémon gel pens, and he looks at your bulbasaur pen in surprise. You feel yourself blush, ignoring him. ‘’Uhm, so what do you think we should pick? Are the projects always this cool?’’ You make a mindmap, with in the middle ‘’historic project’’

Aemond scoffs, leaning a bit on his arm before he shoves his notebook to you. You look at the organized idea, including time-stamps and ideas for the films, as well as contacts for interviews. ‘’We will pick the 1515 witch incident.’’ He declares, pointing one of his fingers to the idea written above. You see, he has a very beautiful, organized handwriting.

You laugh, a little nervous, because you did not want to do that at all. You hoped you and whatever partner could discuss a different area. ‘’We will?’’

Aemond nods, and you can tell he won’t allow you to change his opinion. ‘’Oh, yes we will. It happened right in this town, Baratheon likes it when you make and use your own photos, I know a descendent of the incident, we can interview her, and for the movie I’ve got some killer ideas as well.’’ He got everything planned out, and your GPA can use a boost.

‘’Well, that’s….’’ You try to think of positive words.

Aemond makes a sound as if you are disappointed, a little ‘’awh’’. ‘’O, I’m sorry, did you wanted to pick something?’’ He asks, a little condescending. You instantly dislike him.

‘’No-’’ You mutter but he shuts you up, talking right over you. 

He smiles, pleased he has won. ‘’Good. You wouldn’t know our history anyway. It is why you are still here and haven’t run yet.’’ that is not ominous at all.

‘’I uhm…’’ Aemond ignores you, standing up and walking to Borros’s desk. ‘’Mr Barros, me and Y/n are going out to work on the films. Do you mind-’’ He pauses but Borros smiles, as if he is totally in love with Aemond.

He smiles, granting him permission easily. ‘’No, Aemond. I know you’re a good kid. You won’t play hooky.’’ He smiles at you, now and you crack a very fragile grin back. ‘’You are in good hands with Mr Targaryen. He is the best student in my class.’’ You nod as Aemond grins at you, clearly enjoying this.

—-------

Aemond first wants to interview his contact, he says as the two of you leave school property. Luckily she lives close to the school, almost a block away. You notice Aemond is very silent aside from giving you directions, warning you when you wanted to cross and a car almost hit you, and more or less just lecturing you that he can’t have you fuck this up. 

When you finally reach the house of his contact, you have become insecure. By the door there are two black cat statues looking at each other and Aemond walks to the door. He knocks. Twice. No one opens.

He sighs. ‘’I think she does not want to see me.’’ He confesses, muttering to himself. You sigh, before walking up to the door and attempting to slam your fists against the wood of the door. Before you can, the door opens and a smaller woman with dark black hair and bright green eyes smiles at you, as you almost had punched her face.

Her bright green eyes take in your own, before her glare sharpens, taking in your necklace and your clothes. ‘’You. You have met a terrible fate, haven’t you?’’ She asks, her elegant voice filling with pity. 

You gawk, unsure on how to answer. ‘’I-’’

Her eyes take in Aemond, who remains distant.  ‘’And you brought someone.’’ She smiles at him like a lover would do at her ex.  ‘’I could hear the birds stopped singing.’’ She tells him, dryly. ‘’I could feel the entire aura of the street just turn dark.’’ Aemond does not respond and greets her with a wave.

You must do the talking, great.

‘’We are here for a uhm delicate situation…’’

She makes you nervous. One look and she knows everything about you, so it seems. ‘’Over what happened to my ancestor, Aralda Rivers?’’ You are speechless for a few moments, until the woman smiles. ‘’Aemond texted me.’’

You laugh, a little stupid. The woman lets you both into her house. ‘’O, of course.’’ You mutter before the door closes behind you, falling in the lock.

—------------

The young woman’s name is Alys Rivers, and she and Aemond are friends so they say. But you can tell more happened  between them. Alys’s ancestor is Alrada Rivers, one of the victims of the 1515 witch incident.

‘’So, what happened to your ancestor?’’ You ask once Aemond is rolling the camera, and has set up the microphones you two borrowed from the computer lab.

Alys tells and you are dragged into the story that happened years ago, seeing it unfold before your very own eyes. ‘’She was accused of witchcraft by idiotic men who were threatened by a powerful woman. She and various others were locked in the church, to be burned later.’’ You picture a screaming woman, banging on the doors of a church and not hearing a single answer, terrified for their lives.

Your heart sinks.

‘’Gods, how horrid.’’

Alys nods, yet remains quite neutral about it. ‘’That’s how things happened back then.’’ She says very dismissively. 

And yet, here she is. Alive. Her Ancestor survived. Somehow? ‘’So, yet here you sit. I assume Aralda and the others escaped?’’ Alys has a painful smile on her lips.

‘’Aralda did. My ancestor had a lot of friends on the council. Some say she had two lovers, who helped her escape, others say she was the only witch and turned herself into an owl, flying away through an open window. But all accounts agree on this truth;’’ She leans in closer and you can almost feel the flames that the townsmen were preparing for the women. ‘’

When they came to burn the women, they were met with a horrible sight. The women were lying in the pattern of a hexagon, their wrists slit and their throats cut. With their blood, a message was written on the cold stones of the church.’’

‘’’’Let our blood be the reason yours will keep spilling. Let nothing grow or prosper here again.’’’’ The words came true, and on that day, in the future, many horrible events would continue to happen, from plagues to unexplainable curses  all the way to the late 2000’s. But that part of the town never grew a single vegetable again. People were stubborn and refused to leave. Even when Valyria burned down, some idiots still remained there, trapped inside as their screams echoed into the night.’’ That is a lot to take in and you are not sure you believe everything she tells you either.

And there is something else bothering you. This is a great story, but the evidence is very rare. Will Borros find it enough? ‘’So it’s not sure how Alrada escaped?’’ Alys polishes a silver ring around her fingers, grinning to herself.

‘’No.’’ That is not very convincing, but you let her be. 

Aemond speaks again, his gentle voice joining you both, after he has finished watching the footage. ‘’Still, there is a lot we can work with.’’ 

You feel icky as you think back of those poor unfortunate women. ‘’I don’t know, these women died, Aemond. I feel like we should let them rest.’’

There grows a scoffing smirk on his lips.‘’Don’t tell me you’re afraid of ghosts?’’ You have too much on your plate to mess with the occult.

Alys nods to you, in approval.

‘’She is a smart one.’’ Yet she grabs your hands and a shiver runs down your spine. ‘’I shall make contact with their spirits tonight, and ask for their input. I think as long as you tell the truth, that none of them were witches, you have nothing to worry about.’’

Aemond’s phone buzzes and he answers it, walking away from you both.

‘’You want to ask me something.’’ Alys says, all of a sudden. ‘’Go ahead.’’ You try to think of a good question, but you don’t have any questions. So you ask something that is usable for the interview.

‘’When did this fire happen? What was the date? Like, the year is 1515 but the date?’’

Alys hands you a book, opening it and flipping pages until she reaches the right one. ‘’You can read for yourself.’’

Your eyes skip the page, briefly reading the information on the massacre. Your eyes can barely make out the text, written in curly old English letters. Until Alys’s fingers point to a date, a date you can’t misread. 

Your blood turns cold, as you become more and more aware of your shaking hands holding the book.

April 22.

You look at Alys, your lips trembling. She has grabbed the book from you, before leaning in closer, whispering.

‘’I must warn you. There is this darkness following you. I see it. It creeps over you.’’ Your brother. It must be him.

You nod whispering back.

‘’I think it’s my brother.’’

Alys shakes her head.

‘’No, the darkness that follows you is still alive.’’ You back away from her, your mouth hanging open in pure shock. 

‘’How did you-’’

Alys sighs, as if she tires of all your questions. ‘’I have to go, and it is time you left also.’’ 

Thank you for reading as always!

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[dilfosaur]

personal comics from the past year about feeling Bad

[rainywhispersblog]

[sa-dnesss]

nobody talks about the fact that you can have all this crazy shit in your head, and want to open up and talk about your feelings but no matter what, you just can't make out the right words and properly put your thoughts and emotions into words

[sweetangell1111]

im sorry

[onceifixmehesgonnamissme]

[heloocean]

[softfem-dom]

the four times they asked about his sidekick, and the one time he realized why. (pt.1)

worst!logan + d&w!deadpool x suicidal!reader

a/n : okay this is sad and emotion-driven asf, so if you're sensitive to suicide mentions or emotional trumoil and problems of self-worth please do not continue reading this. Also warning for suicide description for the other universes' sidekicks. first part out of five!

wc : 2k

TW FOR SUICIDE , TW FOR DEPRESSION , SOFT!WADE , SOFT!WORST!LOGAN , WADE BEING UNABLE TO LOOK AFTER A KID , HEAVY/MULTIPLE BATMAN AND JASON TODD REFERENCES , DEADPOOL VARIANTS FUSSING OVER READER. soft!worst logan . overprotective!deadpool . only-deadpool-still-with-sidekick!wade wilson

Think of Batman and Robin.

Yup. Now turn and twist it around some more and make it.. more chaotic, more unhinged. More morally questionable.

And then think of Deadpool. The merc with a mouth. The dude that chose a red suit just so he didn't have to bother about the red stains.

And then add up a teenager to the recipe. As chaotic as the man, maybe a bit naïver. And you've got Deadpool and his sidekick.

Because if all cool superheros had sidekicks, then Deadpool —albeit while not actively being a superhero. Had to have one too, didn't he?

And that's how you had ended up roped into all of his unethical adventures, killing off the bad guys that had the highest price above their head and helping Deadpool run the official Spideypool fanwebsite.

But, despite how many masks you put on, despite how many bad guys you killed, despite how many times you had saved someone. You were still just you.

A teenager. A teenager paired up with an older, unhinged, mercenary that ran his mouth way too much and that got you into way too much trouble.

A teenager paired up with an irresponsible adult without emotional responsability was the fucking equivalent of throwing a trained lab mouse inside the first maze that didn't have an exist.

Wade cared about you. Yeah, you knew that. But the problem was that you were a teenager and teenagers needed a certain amount of care to grow healthyly.

Because physically you were great, with how much running around and being-at-the-verge-of-death you did. But mentally? God, then you were the messiest mess in the planet.

Spending so much time with someone that had so many intrusive thoughts, that spilled his thoughts without filter, had rubbed off on you.

And sometimes you scared yourself when sudden thoughts popped up in your mind. Like the sudden pull in your legs anytime you walked near the edge of a roof, the "jump!" that flashed across your head. Or the way you wondered, asked yourself, what it would feel to be stabbed when you were cleaning Deadpool's katanas. Or the way you started to throw yourself at danger's way just for the thrill of it. And if you died, well, there went nothing.

It was wrong. It was bad. And it was a totally unhealthy and toxic vice. You knew you were self-destructive.

But you didn't know how to do doing anything about it.

You see, if Deadpool wasn't so reckless and careless maybe you would've told him. But since he did it, you grew into your late teens thinking it was okay.

,,

Lately, your thoughts had grew more dangerous. More specific. And you were starting to get scared of yourself. In movies, that was how villians started —with destructive thoughts. And you didn't want to become a villian.

What would Wade think of you? He'd be disappointed in you, hate your guts, despise you.

So your mind jumped to the quickest��and most self-destructive—conclussion. Offing yourself before that happened.

And you had nearly 10 pages of your pink diary written with ways of carrying on with that plan. Glitter gel pen words scribbled about the knifes in the house—their lengths and sharpness—, about the belts stacked away in Wade's closet, about the height of the fall from the balcony to the ground. You had everything planned.

And Wade hadn't caught onto anything of it, except for the fact you seemed more twitchy and on edge than usual. He tied it to the usual teenage anxiousness that came with your age.

He didn't know this was the last mission he was going to have you in.

,,

He had just brought you along on this 'adventure' just like he had did with all of the ones before, except in this one there was another.. —reluctant—companion.

Logan Howlett. The Wolverine.

And not the dead hero that Wade had unburied a few days before. No. This one was the worst variant of Wolverine in the whole multiverse, the one from the timeline where he killed all of the X-Men.

And that Howlett was smelling something coming.

He could smell the irony scent of blood whafting off of you, a bitter scent choking his airways. Your scent was way too bitter for how cheerful you were, except maybe you weren't.

This Logan had only barely known you for two days, but if something were to happen to you he'd kill the responsible, then find a way to kill the mercenary and then find a way to kill himself too.

But, first. Stop, pause, rewind. How this did even start?

,,

You groaned as you helped Wade drag the uncounscious body of the drunk Wolverine you had found in a random timeline —the only one in which the dude hadn't tried to kill you at first sight. Entering through the door-shaped orange portal to the TVA room.

"one anchor being coming right up!" Wade's voice rang through the air before the merc, fully dressed in his suit, had crossed the portal.

You let out a startled squeak when the antihero pretty much threw the uncounscious body of the Logan on the ground, wincing at the metallic sound of his skull against the floor.

"Wade!" you hissed. "c'mon pumpkin', don't sweat it. He's full metal, remember?" he said as he gave the drunk Logan a kick in the side, the metallic sound echoing his words.

"listen here, babygirl" the merc started, looking at the unimpressed man before him. "this Wolverine has the he-can-do-anything-even-musical-stuff look to him and bonus he's actually wearing the accurate comic costume. So, uh yeah, there, timeline saved"

The silence coming from the dude that had called Wade here in the first place didn't sound too good get it?. And as you sat there, poking the drunk man's face with your index finger while whispering for him to "wake up, Wolvie, rise and shine, wakey wakey?"

"I don't understand"

"You said my, our" he pointed at you "universe is dying because this nutsack died, well, problem solved" he now pointed at Logan.

"oh my god" Paradox breathed out. "you actually think you can replace an Anchor Being with this?"

Oh, great. A rant was comming. Like the ones your mother goes on when you mess up too many times.

"I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine BT dubs. But you.. have outdone yourself and brought me the worst Wolverine in the whole multiverse!"

It looked as if the dude's temple vein was going to pop, and you weakly interveened. "what do you mean the worst one..?" you breathed out.

"This Wolverine let down his entire world, he's the stuff of Legend but not in a good way and what he did.. well, some things are just beyond forgiveness"

A beat of silence followed, you knew the Wolverine on the floor had been awake and listening for the whole time. But then, you saw Paradox finally looking at you.

"wait"

"what?"

"is that your little sidekick?"

The incredulous, and cruelly amused, tone of the man in uniform made Wade quirk an eyebrow under his mask.

"yeah, why?"

His words were followed by a booming laugh coming from Paradox. His hand going to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose, as chuckle after chuckle it just confused Wade and you even more.

"I can't believe you've still got her"

That was like a titty-flash for Wade, and not the good kind. He stood there, mouth gaping like a fish as he wildly and overexageredly gestured towards you.

"I gave you a chance at greatness, because my superiors deemed you special. But, I did my duty. I gave you the opportunity and you refused, so there's no more bussiness to do here"

And with that, and a strange remote control in his hand, he pressed a button and zapped you three off to somewhere. Leaving Wade with a strange taste lingering in his mouth.

Well, at least it seemed like your last adventure wasn't going to be boring.

(tags : @coocoocachewgotscrewed , @lokisloverisnthere , @krowsfoot , @lizziegraysworld , @r0reep , @beelzel-brat ).

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

I'm proud of you for making it this far.

[goddteeth]

i will never leave this house

[worthless-misery]

Dear diary...

The fact that I'm still "alive" in 2024 just feels like a huge mistake...

[hamoodmood]

[peculiar--princess]

If you didn’t think you’d make it this far, just know I’m so proud of you for still being here.

[eff-ston3mblogs]

Somehow they are all me

[fvckinsociety]

Wouldn't mind dying in my sleep tonight.