#holding him would fix me
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#female depression#the cure#holding him would fix me#i miss him#girlblog#girlblogger#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#girl interrupted syndrome#im just a girl#this is a girlblog#just girly things#female manipulator#female rage#divine feminine#divine female#female hysteria#future husband#femcel#the virgin suicides#girl interrupted#this is what makes us girls#girl hysteria#feminine hysteria#feminine rage#girl rage#girl interupted syndrome#girl gone crazy#sad girl autumn#autumn depression
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the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)
after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)
the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol
lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him
#I am worried about him all the time. but also: his found family of godslaying maniacs and also the power of love. there are reasons to hope#when there was only one set of footprints in the sand that was the veilguard party holding lucanis in their arms#and going 'excuse you he said no FUCKING pickles!!!' while he's like '🥺should you guys really be -- ' 'YES'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#there's some messiness to his arc but what mary kirby managed to capture here about how this works. is everything to me#he is so exactly for me. I'm sorry for all the people he turned out not to be for. but not for him being for me#the gift of looking at him and hearing 'you're more than what you're going through' and be forced to annoyedly go 'okay#MAYBE that could be also be true for me. maybe.' he's going through it. and also so much more and the funniest person in the world#he's so worth it to still have in the world!!!!#I'm so glad we don't get to 'fix' his relationship with his family and especially caterina actually#that is stuff that would need to happen on a time scale waaay outside of the one in this game#and there's Something very real in having to go 'this is not for me to decide for you. who you love and what you do about it is yours'
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💜
#ramattra#overwatch#overwatch 2#ramattra overwatch#ramattra x reader#i think holding hands with him would actually fix me#anyways#pretty robo hands
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I dont trust him either
#I would get into a fight w tristamp ww so fucking quickly. let me punch him one time itd fix him#I could fix him (punch him in the face)#SORRY HES JUST. 🙄 IDK#theres just something about him.... (Said with menace)#trigun#trigun stampede#tristamp#see I can draw tristamp stuff too#vash the stampede#wolfwood#tristamp wolfwood#doodles#tristamp vash#tristamp roberto#is that his name. why am i blanking#roberto de niro#ROBERT DE NIRO?#WHY IS TJAT JUST NOW REGISTERING. HOLD ON#vashwood
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I honestly do not think I've ever experienced as much agony over a fictional character as I have over oscar malevolent. he's just the winning combo of religious trauma, blood, devotion, queer pain, endless kindness and optimism, and vengeance yk?
#every time I read a fic involving him or see art involving him it KILLS ME#even just listening to him in canon is like getting my heart and soul put through a paper shredder#I need to give him a hug I think that would fix both of us#like buddy I truly get the agony of being in love with someone who will never love you back the same#and just having to act like everything is fine afterwards#I am kissing him gently on the forehead and holding him so tight#malevolent#malevolent pod#malevolent podcast#oscar malevolent#blind faith#an eldritch being and his wet cat
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COOKING MAMA!!!
#keyframes vn#keyframes fanart#perseus tozaki#to marina: wtf did you put in this dude#everything I draw turns into him#also who was gonna tell me that clip studio paint would change ur life#I just realized I forgot to fix the thing he’s holding…#DONT LOOK AT IT#mustddart
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)
she is suri sauthon. her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, tar'x, but most of her life except for the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.
despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.
note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]
originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.
this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.
BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).
later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.
years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)
#i overdeveloped this part of the background. IT'S QUITE LITERALLY USELESS. like. Vegoia will have so few memories of it (she'll become jedi)#i will make a post about her too when I'll finish designing her and outlining her story BUT that may be difficult cuz the frame for the mai#story is quite difficult to match with how developed the other stories are getting and i have to figure it Much Stuff yet#so I'm using these post to like. fix a certain part lf the lore because even my own notes are getting older and messy. better to start over#ANYWAY for those curious & who are still reading (if u exist. WTF THANK U!!); my main story is actually a research file in the jedi archive#BASICALLY i was trying to write my own story for years but then i watched a video (tcw doesn't hold up by sheev talks i think) and i finall#understood how to frame all of these stories together in a way that i feel can add to the star wars lore (because. the others were just#like. okay but who cares unless me? and i did want to have a cool frame that maybe some nerd would be interested in looking into)#so: when ahsoka anakin and obi return from mortis; they tell the council about it (yoda knows about it in s6). sheev talks complained that#it was incredibly full of stuff that was done so poorly it could ruin a big part of the original sw story itself and it was never brought u#again. and honestly i agree. SO my story is about a jedi that is tasked with research on the celestials & by having him figure out stuff i#can minimize/limit/reframe some of the controversial things in there (i love mortis arc so bad but i also agree with his critic. I'll Fix™)#so. many stories will be about people who have previously seen the celestials or have been to mortis one way or another (pre-tcw obv) & hav#had experience & knowledge that the researcher is looking for. so i get to have an anthology with many stories#and have a cool frame I'm intrested in developing + i can experiment with different storytelling styles depending on how he finds out stuff#+ there was another sw story with a similar frame i think? so if i decide to write the story as if it was the file itself and not the searc#i can have even a REFERENCE of what a file like that is supposed to be. LIKE. IT ALL FITS!!!#sw#star wars#swtor#the old republic#star wars oc#imperial agent#star wars fanart#mirialan oc#mirialan#star wars story#star wars the old republic#oc: suri sauthon
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thinking about having sex with Hayden, getting overstimulated and going non-verbal for the first time, and he's a bit confused but reads your body language and sees that you need him more than anything. He strokes your hair and reassures you, murmurs praises to you, "did so well lovie," "I've got you," "stayin' right here, don't worry my love," ughhhh he's such a sweetheart, so empathetic and sensitive to your needs.
#૮ ˙ⱉ�� ა 내가 이야기 !#hayden christensen#hayden christensen smut#this is self indulgent#i love himmmmuh#i just need him to hold me it would fix all my problems#this is gonna make me cry#i miss my bf
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inspired by the events of iii episode 14 :3
#inanimate insanity#ii#ii yinyang#yinyang ii#potatart#i apologize if the image id isnt very good pls let me know if i need to fix anything#nontheless. hi yinyang nation#dont tag as ship please!!!!!!!!!!!!#thinking about how yang was feeling after silverspoon betrayed them#silver calling him “his beast” was crazy... if i were yang i would kill a man#(let me be clear i rlly like silverspoon)#yang will hold this grudge forever. and that is very funny to me#all i could think about when drawing this was that one jerma audio where hes like “im KILLING you”#really funny visual of bot and balloon awkwardly standing in the corner while yang is absolutely LIVID#just sitting in silence. so pissed#THE SPOON MUST GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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In the wake of the cancellation of Warrior Nun, I am imploring anyone who has Disney+ to watch Willow (2022).
It features a woman loving woman romantic subplot at the forefront, meaning it’s not in the subtext. Episode 1 has them kiss and afterward the lines of romance exist so throughout the narrative for these two characters that it is current and seen to the point that it cannot be argued away.
But there’s next to no buzz for it, only the Disney+ app really promotes it as something to watch with the odd ad showing up on Instagram of the cast playing mini games.
On top of that, it is a well written show that holds all of the love of the original film from the 80s.
I know that it would appear that numbers don’t seem to matter, but I am begging people to watch this show because it is a fantastic piece of media that delights in paying homage to the source material it comes from.
Also hot women with swords. Hot women with swords who could KILL you-
#willow#willow series#willow (2022)#Warrior Nun#Netflix#First Kill#Netflix cancellation#Twitter#like it’s not subtle and it’s fantastic at showing the Bodyguard Royalty romance / Friends to Lovers pipeline#It’s only up to ep4 with weekly releases but#*Yells* It’s use of fantasitical horror is just amazing#genuinely I am in love with it#Cheesy fantasy mixed with horror queer romance and rock music???#Plus Boorman is the perfect Blorbo for the ‘I don’t want to fix him but if he could make me worse that would be fine’ crowd#And that’s just the tip of the iceberg#Especially if you want a Chosen One who knows nothing about being a chosen one but is quite literally the only one who can cook#It’s like watching a D&D campaign tbh#Anyway Kit and Jade should get to hold hands and be married
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if joe keery doesn’t get to sob and cry and scream and break down in s5 then what’s the point
#like i need to see it#it’s not a want it’s a visceral need#joe plz i beg i need to see you CRY AND WHIMPER#tears running he’s sobbing he’s on his knees in the dirt#someone tries to comfort him but he just flinches away and doesn’t let them touch him#this may be inspired by that one post i saw about roving saving steve and dying in his place#FUCK i’m such a sucker for angst#she’s the only one who he would let hold him but she’s gone#or he’s dying and he’s crying as it happens#he doesn’t go out all majestic like#he’s actually scared#but there’s nothing they can do#yeah… i think that would fix me…#steve harrington#joe keery#stranger things#stevie#i know he can do it know he can
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A man and his bucket
#the stanley parable#tsp#tspud#the Stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp stanley#tsp bucket#the Stanley parable reassurance bucket#the sparrow parable#i finally preordered the collector’s edition on Monday night and I need to hold him in my hands#maybe if I had a tiny bucket with stickers it would fix me….
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mammon log in notif got me 🥺
just imagining him cupping my face and wiping away my tears and trying to tell bad jokes to get me to smile. frantically trying to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it waaaaaahhhhh
"you look so pretty when ya smile, so make sure to keep it there for me, yeah?"
#star rambles#love of my life#ooooh ten minutes with him would fix me#i just need him to hold me#obey me#mammon
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"Well, well, look at you," you laughed, "I can't say I've had the pleasure of being caught before, charmed Batman. I'm a bit disappointed to see you're not a demon; I thought we might hit it off."
The Batman doesn't speak at first, then holds you up against the wall, “The Upper East End. Tuesday night.”
“Hmm, doesn’t ring a bell,” you shrug and he presses his arm harder against your throat, “Now, now, batboy, I need my vocal cords for later, I’ve got a couple men’s names to scream in the bedroom.” He throws you to the ground, you roll a few meters and laugh, “Oh, I love a man who plays rough.”
You prop yourself up on your elbow, grabbing his leg before he can press it on your chest, twisting your body just enough to unbalance him. The Batman stumbles, almost tripping over you as you pull him over yourself. As he’s busy trying to stabilize himself, you get up, shaking your shoulders, “Dimittis,” you mutter and the cuffs fall to the ground, and you blow him a kiss before running off. Batman squints his eyes and pursues, much to your delight.
#batman caped crusader x male reader#batman caped crusader x reader#the 20s one on prime because he has me in a chokehold#Like actual magic cause I'm funny like that and I think Batman would hate that he has to deal with actual fucking magic lmfao#magic reader again because I'm predictable#I want him to hold me against the wall and threaten me with a good time (derogatory) 👹#forgive me I haven’t been able to sleep since Friday night it’s Sunday now and I fear I have surpassed what eleven of normal stress a human#should undergo#I think I can fix him put an actual smile on that face#excuse my Latin I have no clue how it works besides sounding kinda cool#the bat in the magic hat 🎩 🪄✨
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deeply underrated duo. i think they should have hung out
#my art#fern the human#fern mertens#betty grof#magic betty#adventure time#fionna and cake#atimers#in my heart of hearts this is canon and we just never saw it#but i think that like. fern would go to Betty because she seems like the only person in ooo to be studying how to fix curses and fern wants#to fix his shit. betty takes him in only because it could be beneficial to her research#given that the grass curse is a NASTY ONE#and it’s holding his body together and affecting his mental state and ability to control himself#so betty is going to run like. every test she can on this boy#fern will go along with it because he’s desperate#and eventually#because fern kinda feels like he has Nobody he gets attatched to Betty and might even start seeing her as something of a mother figure. lol.#which is fucked up!! because betty has no interest in being this kids mom and she really only wants to use him for research but now she#can’t get rid of him and he’s still Useful obviously so she just kinda has to. deal with it#Does anyone hear me. please god.
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