#suicidal ideation talk

[thisqueernerd]

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[thelaurenshippen]

911 really is such a good reminder of the particularly kind of joy that is weekly, seasons-long shows with many episodes per season. every character gets a moment to shine even in a truncated season. the satisfaction of seeing characters grapple with stuff that happened YEARS ago. having multi-episode arcs and one-off arcs that are equally enjoyable. beach episodes (metaphorical). I know we're all saying this all the time but why can't more tv be like this

[seraphimfood]

hey guys guess what i played recently & really liked

alt vers below

[moodyvoid]

Hawks would perch at the top of the tallest building in the city, watching the sunset. He’d stretch out his wings before stepping off the edge and soaring through the night sky. He wonders what it might feel like to keep falling.

After the war, Hawks stands at the top of the tallest building. Ignoring the sunset and staring at the streets below him. The emptiness on his back feels so heavy, like it’s weighing him down, pushing him forward. He wonders what it might feel like to fly for one final time.

[rhiandoesfandom]

What if Tilla wasn't physically sick, she was just really depressed and had suicidal ideations. That's why Blitz knows how to take care of someone in that state.

That's why he still continuously checks in with Barbie even though she continues to push him away. Cause maybe without being on the drugs she was taking or keeping busy, she is actively suicidal. What then.

[conceptofjoy]

i know you've talked about broquerelsprite (crazy thing to type out) before so i'm wondering... what are your thoughts on a sprite fusion between him and davesprite. or just bro and ds in general

hm. for them to fuse, theyd have to be a ^2 sprite making them an ultimate, but thats an insane concept so i will be moving that thought to the side unless asked for lol.

he would be like. so fucked up.

im half convinced he would sprite-splode himself out of self loathing and grief. the insane amount of passive aggressive jealousy he would be lobbing dave’s way is inconceivable, but in the same breath he’d like die for dave with zero hesitation AND in the most traumatizing way. dude is gonna be SO stuck living in the past, i take back my sprite-sploding comment, hes not like actively suicidal for ds’s sake, but he’s looking for an excuse.

yeahhh, turns out if you put two people with generational trauma and insane daddy issues in a sprite, it doesnt turn out so good o_o’

[birdsribcage]

If I learned anything from classic literature is that suicide is always an option

[sulfurrrr]

tbh I find Caitlyn's use of the Gray really interesting not only as a form of chemical warfare, but of psychological warfare too. The way she deliberately designed the strike force uniforms to work in tandem with the Gray in order to mimic the appearance of a monster from Zaunite stories with very recent presence in Zaun's recent memory (it was only during Cassandra's lifetime that the Gray was "locked away") to evoke fear in ordinary Zaunites is so so crazy to me.

And Jinx REALIZED that!! that's (maybe.) WHY that showdown took place in front of a carving of Janna– she's using those stories (which likely evolved alongside one another) to frame her reaction to Caitlyn's crimes as a sort of divine retribution!

Caitlyn thinks Jinx is this terrifying monster of a girl, and while it's true Jinx has done some awful things, ever since the beginning of this season (arguably since after the timeskip, even) Jinx has been working in direct response to Caitlyn and Caitlyn's actions, whether or not either of them are truly aware of it.

[lovealwayssay]

If my best friend of 12 years who I’ve been in love with for who knows how long told me that he thought he could never have me but he was so happy just loving me from afar and telling me how loved I was that it didn’t matter that he couldn’t have me, and then the fact that he told me he loved me saved my life but killed him, I would simply kill myself too because how do you come back from that.

[follows-the-bees]

The pipeline from:

"I should have let the English kill you. This—whatever it is that you've become, is a fate worse than death."

To:

"I had a dream about you last night...I dreamt that you killed me...it was good for me. It was just what the doctor ordered."

Izzy tells Ed he should be dead. Ed puts up his defenses to become Blackbeard, puts the leathers as a shield back up and does everything he can to keep going. But he has seen what life could be, what his life can be when he's free, when he's loved by someone for Ed and not just the caricature of Blackbeard.

The Kraken music doesn't play at all during these first two episodes as Ed shuffles on the persona. Because unlike the beginning of season one, he is not actually Blackbeard, he is performing that caricature Izzy held up and yelled about.

(Sidenote: I talk about the three times from three different perspectives(Ed, Izzy, and Stede) of the reaction to the Blackbeard drawings here.)

Ed has reached the precipitate of his playacting of Blackbeard. He shoots Izzy's leg for disobedience. And now he's coming to Izzy, saying you once said that I was better off dead than a caricature of myself, that you should have let me die. So here's your chance, your chance to kill me.

He hands Izzy the gun but just like with the English, Izzy can't kill him. I don't know how much at this point Izzy's realized what is actually going on. Particularly, just how far Ed wants to die "it was good for me, just what the doctor ordered."

This scene is fascinating and a switch in the dynamics between them. Izzy always used power and (I don't think he realizes exactly why it works, that it is triggering Ed's deep seeded parental trauma) on Ed in the past. But now Ed is switching the tables, and handing Izzy the means to kill him, he is taking power back from Izzy. Even though that power would be his death.

[itz-pandora]

Tw: su1c1d3 ideation/attempt, knife in frame, implied drinking

Art below cut (also rambling)

Chuck really struggles after Jules' death, he's lost his entire family (I'm leaning towards Terios also being dead at this point to solidify this)

Chuck felt awful before that because Nikki. Chuck helped give Nikki that adventurous spirit, and they built a plane together, which Nikki took to run away. He felt personal responsible.

Chuck's an introvert, so all he had was his family. All the connections and friends he made through work are on the other side of the world. The only person he can think of to call is Bernie, since she was Jules' wife. He called her because he wanted to be talked down from this, he wants to be able to keep living on but it's difficult when he's isolated and dealing with everyone he knows just disappearing. (Chuck lives in a rural area so he's not exactly gonna have a lot of regular social interaction.)

He unfortunately picked up drinking to try to dull the pain of losing everyone he cared about.

Bernie stays on the line with him because she knows what's gonna happen. She ends up making sure to schedule phone calls and visits so he keeps himself alive.

Chuck gets to meet Sonic after a long time and he completely falls apart. This is the first time Sonic ever saw Chuck cry, and this grown man is just sobbing while hugging him, since he's really glad to have a member of his family back.

At this point, Chuck wouldn't have any capacity to be frustrated with Sonic for running, he's just too glad to have him back.

[kiyomitakada]

I think Misa was suicidal since her parents’ death if not longer. I wonder if she regretted not letting her stalker kill her in the brief moment before Gelus’ Death Note fell from the sky and gave her a reason to keep living. I wonder if she killed herself over Light, not because he meant so much to her, but because he had been the only reason she hadn’t done it years ago. I think she needed an obsessive, unattainable goal to justify staying alive. Seeing her parents avenged. Meeting Kira. Marrying Light. I wonder if Light hadn’t died, would she have been able to find another reason to go on living? Or would she have felt she had nowhere to go from there, that no goal was big enough anymore? Misa had hundreds of years to live, a gift from the sacrifices of two gods of death, but I think the only thing keeping her alive for so long was her desperate escalating search for a reason not to end it herself

oh absolutely!!! absolutely!!!!! suicidal misa amane is one of my most solid death note opinions and it genuinely surprised me when i first came on here and didn't see anyone talking about it. i mean it's basically canon isn't it. "kill me now while i'm still young and pretty," "i was supposed to die that day anyway," everything she does just to find light, all the risks she takes in yotsuba including getting in a car with the person she knows is a creep AND a serial killer, "i would gladly die for you"… it speaks so much to me, that desperation to find something worthwhile to die for, which happens to also be something worthwhile to live for. i think suicidality and longing to live are two sides of the same knife and misa is trying so fucking hard to balance on its edge.

I wonder if she regretted not letting her stalker kill her in the brief moment before Gelus’ Death Note fell from the sky and gave her a reason to keep living.

it's actually kind of worse! in the manga at least (haven't seen the anime) all she does is stumble back, she doesn't run — probably a stress freeze response — and gelus kills the stalker but his notebook falls in the shinigami realm, so as far as misa knows her stalker just fucking died right there. this is after kira kills her parents (something i messed up in my fic but it's too late to fix lmao) so i wonder if she saw it as like… this force in the sky that wanted her to live. someone out there who loved her so much he would do anything for her. i wonder how that interfaced with her mental health and how reckless she is all the time.

and then rem carries the notebook down to misa on purpose (she apologizes to misa for giving her the notebook when misa's in prison). so now misa knows that actually it was two separate people who saved her emotionally (light) vs physically (gelus). i feel like this is probably part of why she goes ._. when rem explains the whole gelus thing to her; she wanted it to be kira who saved her. but oh well! now she has the notebook she can help kira, and isn't that even better! completely agree that was her whole reason to keep going. yes.

I wonder if Light hadn’t died, would she have been able to find another reason to go on living? Or would she have felt she had nowhere to go from there, that no goal was big enough anymore?

god i wonder the same thing all the time. what else? the coolest marriage ceremony ever? (they get engaged but never married…) kids? grandkids? some kind of summit in her career? everything hollower and hollower until she implodes in on herself?

[swimminginyokohamasrivers]

GUYS HEAR ME OUT.

gun!!

to my temple!!1

[anonpolls]

TW: Suicide / Suicidal Ideation

Thanks, Anon!

-submit your poll!-

[burned0utstar]

I called an ambulance for my best friend just now. He'll hate me now, but it's fine.

He'll hate me now but he'll live.

He'll hate me now but I did this because I love him.

[brothersfuck]

I think I need to read a fanfic where Dean goes "it should've been you up there (in heaven), not her(charlie)" and Sam just goes "you're right" then fucking kills himself I think I deserve to read a fanfic like this at least once