#sucidal ideation cw

[csmistcres]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 ➤  𝙴𝙻𝚈𝚂𝙴 𝙱𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙺𝚂  [ TOPIC: TEENAGE YEARS ]

at the age of fourteen , elyse was number two in the country and on track to be an olympic athlete. in fact , she was called the next great gymnast to beat. unfortunately , everything gold doesn't always glimmer; secretively she was at her breaking point. her parents had been putting so much pressure on her , controlling every aspect about her life. she kept her head up in front of her mom & dad, but would cry behind closed doors from all of the pressure; the long hours , constant injuries , a controlled diet. and of course , not having a life or even friends. the only people she knew her age was her competition.

when she finally told her parents that she wanted to quit her gymnastics , she was fifteen. they were pissed and threatened to kick her out of the house and cut her off. she managed to get out of that at least, but they treated her horribly. by now , she was managing being a first time student at a busy new york city high school. all her life , she had a private tutor. she would come home and her parents would hardly give her the time of day. there were days where she no longer wanted to live , but eventually she got better as she made friends and focused on her studies. most nights she wouldn't come home until well after dark , not that her parents cared anyway. she was just glad they kept the door unlocked.

she turned eighteen a few months before graduation. she decided that because she still had money from all those endorsements and campaigns , she would move out and get an apartment. she already knew how to cook her own meals , own laundry. as she already knew how to be independent as she started to live like it during her sophomore year of high school.

she finally graduated with honors and applied to several colleges. she even got a scholarship to the ohio state university , which she took as her way out of new york and away from her parents forever. this is where and when she decided to pursue medicine.

[ethereal-night-fairy]

Slasher!Soap

Slasher!Soap x Passively Suicidal Female Reader

AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED.

I wonder how Slasher!Soap would deal with a passively suicidal victim. I'm just having fun with this concept. I'm happy to do specific scenarios but please read blog rules before sending in asks. Inspired by @ghouljams drabble.

Where it started

Aftermath

Before the chase

The chase

Slasher Soap Art

Non Canon stuff

Slasher!Ghoul x Dove

Copyright © by ethereal-night-fairy. 2024. All Rights Reserved. Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or to use with AI technologies.

[choshinsei]

An attack is the last thing Choso expects, even after the earlier kick, but he's more prepared this time around. Yuuji's clothes once again find a place on the ground as Choso drops them in order to catch the concrete slab that's thrown at him. It's a bit of a rough catch, he's still getting used to the new limits on his powers, but he avoids any serious damage to himself or their surroundings.

Choso's not really sure what to do or say anymore, just that he absolutely can't leave Yuuji in this state. It's tempting to try and get in close to hug his little brother, to give him any sort of positive contact, but he restrains himself. Rather than say or do anything, he just takes on the role of a punching bag for Yuuji's frustrations, using his skills to dodge attacks and reduce property damage until his little brother's good and tuckered out.

The world blurred as he made his escape; city landmarks and pedestrians morphed into indistinct blobs of colors. Yuuji's instinct navigated him home, following the trail he and his friends trekked daily. This city had been their sanctuary, their solace-- now, harsh reality crushed everything Yuuji desired and dreamed. His life as a normal teenager shattered under the weight of his crimes.

His first name, a name only heard from gramps and Eiden, begged him. He looked over his shoulder, peering fearfully at his pursuer. What does he want, and why does Yuuji suddenly feel like a cornered rabbit? Yuuji bit his lip, the burden of his failures dogging him. He didn't want to die, he didn't want to kill anymore, he wanted to be free.

Yuuji skidded to a stop, roaring in retaliation. He thrusted his fist, throttling a thousand pounds of force into the concrete, shattering the surface like ice on a frozen lake. He kicked up a jutting slab of concrete and heaved it through the air like a frisbee, its trajectory honed on Choso.

All sense of morality drained from Yuuji's mind. Red tainted his vision, and the memories of those he killed fogged his brain. He desired only to rid the agony, the pain with his only solution: keep killing, keep removing the pieces from the board-- until no one but he's left to kill, then it'll be over.

[gremlinmodetweeker]

A Walk in the Woods

So, I had some struggles in my life. I've been homeless since about July 27th, but I've been staying at a friend's home. I'm on disability, so it's hard to make ends meet.

In the depths of my despair, I wrote about König's lonesome walks in the woods.

Edit: As of August 13th, I do nearly have a home now. However, I am still posting this because it reflects an important feeling and something I think about with König. I love writing him as goofy and awkward, but I think sometimes it's important to remember the reality of being a soldier.

TW: Suicide reference, ptsd, references to gore, warfare/active combat discussion, depression, mental illness

Story below Cut

A Walk in the Woods

König goes on long walks alone sometimes.

You might be tempted to come with him, but that would defeat the purpose of the walk, so he’d just have to have you tag along and take another walk later, most likely when you’re asleep.

Long walks in the woods help König calm down. He likes the silence of the forests. Sometimes, if he’s lucky, he’ll hear an owl hooting or see a bat fluttering by. He’s thankfully not the type that mosquitoes are attracted to, so bugs tend to leave him alone if he just gives himself a light spritz with bug spray. He thinks that long ago, his body adapted to the forests. Maybe it was because it was the place he felt most himself, maybe it was because it was where he was most alone. The forests never bothered answering his questions.

On these walks, König has the time to finally think about what’s been going on in his life. When he walks, he thinks about how long he has left to serve. Will he retire when he hits the golden age, or will he retire when his body gives out? Will he even make it to retirement? He doesn’t know. He wonders what will happen to you when he retires. He also doesn't know, which is worse. It frightens him terribly that he knows there’s nothing he can do to protect you from the reality of living with a partner in the military. He’s gotten to a point where he no longer sees warfare, but he does hostage rescues in dangerous cities in more dangerous countries. How long until there’s a chink in his armour?

When he walks he thinks about how he’ll divide his will. He needs to be prepared, as much as he wishes he could live forever. His mother made it until she was in her late nineties, his father just turned one hundred when he passed. He comes from longevity, but does he truly want to live that long? He’s done so much damage to his bodies throughout his years of service. His body could only go on for so much longer, and he didn’t know how long he could last.

When König was younger, he was brave and proud of taking after his grandfather by going into the Austrian Jagdkommando. He was revered by his younger siblings, and his parents had been nothing but proud of him for his decisions. He’d been a strong recruit and quickly risen the ranks to a prestigious title.

Now, as he walks through these lonely woods, he doesn’t quite know how much value his title holds anymore. What worth is a badge and a name if you spend most of your life looking at your partner through a phone, really? Is he even worthy of being a father if he has to spend months overseas? He’s missed so much of his loved ones' lives because of this godforsaken burden he carries. No amount of money could buy back the time he’s lost with his family.

And yet, still, he works. He trains in the barracks, readies his bodies for the next onslaught of bodies and screams when he is deployed into the next battlefield. He knows that when he comes home, he’ll have new nightmares to wake up screaming from. And who will be there to comfort him but you, frantically awoken by his thrashing and screaming as he shoots and kills all over again in his mind’s eye. He lives it over and over again every night. He will until he sleeps one final time. He’s trapped on lands you’ve never seen, lands he hopes you’ll never see in your lifetime. He’s seen so much carnage, there is so much blood on his hands and these same hands are the ones that hold you, cherish you, fuck you. He’s covered you in blood. 

His walks carry him deep into the forest. There, he finds a clearing where he’ll look up to see the sky. Some days it’s blue and wide as the sargasso sea, some days it’s swathed in a darkness only split by the twinkling eyes of the gods above. Every time he looks up, he hopes that someone somewhere will see him begging on his knees for forgiveness. He tells you he doesn’t pray anymore, but he prays every time he comes to this clearing. Not for himself, no he’s long since been sent to Hell. He prays for you because he’s afraid that he’ll drag you down with him.

When he comes home, he’ll smile and hug you tightly. You always ask about it, but he never tells you where he went. He keeps telling himself he’ll bring you some day, but he knows he never will. You’ve seen him weak, but he can’t bear to have you see him like this. He wants you to see him smile and laugh and hold his children up above his head and fill the air with the sounds of joy and youth. He’s a strong and powerful aurochs of a man. You may see him stumble when he goes out to the hardware store to fix the latest leak in the sink, but he wants you to see him as a reliable pillar of support.

He prays that you will never see him out in the woods alone. He’s terrified that one day, one fateful day, you’ll go into his clearing to find him way up high among the tree branches.

Story Masterlist

[machathemorrigaesystem]

ugh today has been stressful as hell, and im currently mad at myself for developing crushes on some people and the fact im so tired i had a Freudian slip ...... I hate this, i hate having these crushes, they are useless, i won't have a chance, im pathetic, i don't deserve relationships (including the one i have with sage),i don't deserve friends, i deserve to be alone forever, to suffer,

tw suicidal idealation for cut

right now I don't want to be alive, som im going to sleep so i can not be conscious

[1-8oo-anarchy]

just realized im fucking balding :3

is it from a relapse in my ED? averaging 3-4 hours of sleep per night? stress? or genetics and being born a fucking man?

who knows! could be all of them! could end my shit live on tv with a 12 gauge slug!

[youraverageventblog]

Being suicidal for 5 years really fucks up a person’s head

[medra-gonbites]

Congratulations

Happy birthday to me. Hope you enjoy this piece.

Pairing: Gale x Fem!Tav

Words: 1059

CW- Suicide, Angst, Hurt no Comfort

It was the best day of Gale’s life.

He had woken up early to his wife vomiting.

She had always been moody and cranky in the morning, but this was different. She had been sick for more than a week and he had tried his best to soothe her and nurse her back to health. As her situation did not improve, he had taken her to a cleric. The old woman was now standing right in front of them and after a thorough examination was categorical:

‘Six weeks. Maybe seven... Congratulations!’

The news rang in Gale’s ear. A wave of bewilderment crashing into him before leaving room for excitement. He was ecstatic.

Sure, he had doubted his paternal instincts in the past. When she had asked two years ago, they were on the run, an illithid tadpole in their respective brains, and a bomb in his chest. Now they were married, tadpole and orb-free and they loved each other so much.

He was scared senseless. About the coming challenges, the responsibilities, the sleepless nights, the chaos. But he also saw the love, the joy, the new path that was expanding suddenly in front of them. He adored Tav and he was so happy to be able to share that experience with her.

He turned to her, his gaze full of wonder and passion but he froze before her expression. Panic, anxiety, fear etched on her face. Tears running down silently, and her body shaking like a leaf.

This was not good.

Gale took her home. He wanted her to rest and to process the news. She needed to lay down and calm down and sleep. She needed time. Time to see how much of a blessing this was. To get confidence in herself, a trust she often cruelly missed when it came to her own abilities.

She kept rambling and fidgeting and panting. Spiraling into a state of despair and self loathing. She did not want this. She was not ready. She would break it. Make it broken as she was. Her state of despair was growing wild and untamed and so venomous Gale flinched at the idea he could not convince her otherwise.

He gently took her in his arms. Rocking back and forth, murmuring sweet words to her ear in an attempt to comfort her.

‘You will be a wonderful mother.’

‘You don't need to know what to do, you will learn. I will learn. We will learn together.’

‘You can do this. You will not break it.’

‘It will be wonderful. It will be healthy and happy. It will be perfect. Like you.’

But his words were useless. She was giving in to frenzy and hysteria as her mind raced to darker and darker corners, reigniting memories, reopening old wounds and just telling herself that she could not do this.

After a few hours of tears, she finally fell asleep, exhausted and still so scared. But she looked so peaceful as she slept and Gale wanted to do something for her. He headed to town to gather some of her favorite things. He wanted to cheer her up: as saddened by her reaction to the news, he was himself euphoric and he wanted her to be too. He wanted her to see how good this was. He was sure he could turn this day around. Show how much he loved her and how much he would like to have more of her around.

He got her favorite pastry. The scented candles she liked so much. The last tome of the book series she was currently reading. A little black thing which she would look wonderful in (and with no waistband too, so that she could wear it throughout her pregnancy…).

Gale came back a few hours later. The tower was dark and inexplicably cold. Anguish sank in the pit of his stomach; an unexplained apprehension taking over. He called her. She did not answer. He searched their home but she was not to be found.

Making his way to the kitchen he found a note. Written in cursive, hastily. He recognized her writing. His chest tightened as he read it. His heart aching, his mouth dry, his eyes burning. Disbelief hung heavy in his head, before being replaced by horror. Time stretched as he scanned those words. And he felt the urge to scream. To run to her. To magically erase these words and what they meant. To find her and hold her tight so she might never write, say or think this way.

Before he could take action and fix it all, like he still believed he could, a knock on the door sent a jolt of renewed panic into his core. A member of the Griffon Watch asked him to sit. And he cried and cried and cried when he was given the abominable news he did not want to believe. His heart shattered in millions of shards.

The letter remained on the kitchen floor, a silent apology from her.

“My love,

I'm sorry I am causing worry and ache. And I hope you can forgive me.

I would have been honoured to carry your child if I were anyone else. But I am me and as you know, it is something I have struggled with my whole life. I love you and I would see the world with more of you in it. But I wouldn't want more of me.

Every day, I fear when I wake up. Every night I fear when I go to sleep. I cannot fathom a future for myself as I do for you. I see you happy and thriving but I'm never at your side. I live in constant dread that you will wake from your dream, take these rose tinted glasses off and see that I am not special. Not important. Not loveable. That you'll realise that you can be happy without me. That something, someone, better is around the corner. For all your efforts, you could never convince me otherwise.

By the time you will be reading this I'll be gone. And you won't have to worry about me, care for me or carry me like you so often did.

I hope you can forgive me for the trouble I caused you.

Remember I love you more than anything.

I simply couldn't love myself…

Tav”

[floralembarrassment]

i love your writing sm! could i please request something with james and regulus being attached to each other? like james and regulus need to be touching somewhere at all times. thanks in advance if you do decide to write it!

Hello! Interesting request... I'm not sure this is exactly what you asked for but it is what you inspired! with love

Exploring (1/1) (jegulus)

"James!" Regulus shouted. It was supposed to be a warning but really it was all fear.

James had run right to the edge of the barrier to look over the ocean, not slowing until he hit it. Regulus had visions of him tumbling right over the edge.

James laughed as he held his arms wide and let the wind whip at his hair. "Woohoo!!!" He held into it, a smile plastered on his face shiny clear in his eyes.

"Reg come on! You have to see this!" James turned his head and hollered back.

Regulus was standing a few feet away still, too afraid to get near the edge. Partly because in another he might not want to stay on this side of the barrier, even though he has chosen in this one to stay. The other part that kept him away was the water. He could hear the waves crashing at the rocks, he could already feel the wind pushing him one way and then the next.

But he did come all this way.

And here he was, with James' hand outstretched to him. An invitation. A promise of safety. A place to stay grounded.

He took a deep breath with the wind and took a few steps forward, grabbing onto James.

And then he look up and looked out over the beautiful view. He could see why James had been smiling so brightly. It was incredible. And suddenly he was just holding James' hand, then just their pinkies were linked together, as they both marvelled over the the waters and Regulus felt so safe enough to explore so long as he was near enough to feel James' warm touch.

They spent hours walking up and down the edge, minding their steps but loving the view. James was extra happy because not only did he get to see this magnificent piece of the earth, he got to see his favourite view, Regulus enjoying him.

[suuuicide]

✨Girlhood✨

[cryptic-diary]

I hope. I hope that when it is my turn, I will be able to see stars as clear as the darkening edge of my vision. I hope that when the cold seeps into my clothes and into my bones, that it will comfort me as much as it cured the burns of the past before. I hope that when I take my final breath, it is of relief.

[inky-evergreen]

This is @cagneyblooms doing btw. She made me do this 😔😔

[tireddovahkiin]

CW: VENT POST!!! mentions of depression/indirect mention of suicidal thoughts/unhealthy coping mechanisms

Y'all I've come to a conclusion that seeing self ship doubles MAKES ME MORE SAD THAN SEEING CANON X CANON SHIPS-

Like bc- they actually dont bother me THAT much, I think of them more like a 'alternative cursed universe where there could always be a posibillity for crazy stuff' ship. Yk, like, how there COULD be an alternative universe out there where every president of a country have to wear a maid dress or something idfk-

the world is vast and we don't know SHIT about it

BUT THE FUCKING- ... DOUBLES...

It actually really really breaks my heart... Almost like I'm watching a "thief" take away my most valuable treasure, yk... No offense to any doubles out there, you're valid, and you're no thief, you cannot choose who you love.

But I dunno... I also am very scared of "shadowbanning" in the self ship community... Like VERY scared.

With "shadowbanning" I mean, there being some bigger, more popular users on social media who are famous for being the (character's) spouse. The character we both self ship with. But of course, the popular one is going to gain much more attention and interactions because they have been self shipping for longer time, or their art/ s/is are very popular and likeable.

So, if I tried to break the ice through and consider myself the (character's) spouse, and share my self ship stuff on the platforms, I would be DOUBLE IGNORED, and FORGOTTEN above all.

And I cannot have the same mindset with the canon x canon ships, because I know that person DOES exist in real life. And that they the character much longer than me... And have merch... And celebrate anniversaries... And treat the relationship as a real one.

It's literally like a war... where the more 'loved' one wins.

Don't get me wrong. I ALSO want to do that form my own f/os. I WANT to build the a shrine, I WANT to treat my ship serious, I WANT to draw us, and to gather merch, I WANT to love my f/os as much as I feel love for them.

But sometimes, people are not able to fulfill their needs because of the situation/environment they're in.

For example, they could either be financially unstable, the country they live in has no 'merch' of the said media, the family is unsupportive and abusive, or just... Be VERY busy with life in general. Not being able to give attention to even the smallest things, like stuff they love to do in free time, let alone their beloved f/o.

.. I myself am in that situation. My country is poor, I am about to enter university, I am still healing from my past traumas/trying to get better and fight off the problems on my own, even if it is VERY difficult, and no one understands. I should already work and have a job, have MY money, ACT like an adult should, and become independent. But I am not. I was emotionally scarred, which left big impact on my (concerning) social, (terrifying) future, and (nonexistent) work life.

I basically depend off my parents, and know absolutely nothing in general, like- I feel hopeless, dissapointed. Scared above all. Because I think a part of me is still not ready to move on and grow up, and I already did.

So, if I cannot take care of MYSELF, how can I take care of the sacred relationship me and my f/os have, love I feel for them? The attention I oh so, DESPARATELY want to give them, yet I don't even give attention to my life, and try to hide away from everything? How can I even think about them if I cannot think about anything else?

... I dunno. I'm just... I just sometimes think I am underserving of such recognition, and to be called the (character's) lover/friend/family. Because, not do I "ignore" us, but I ignore my life, too.

With ignore, I mean, I TRY to survive every single day as the best I can. Get over it, then repeat again. For quite some time now. Cope with "stress" (when there IS NO actual stress) with unhealthy maladaptive daydreaming methods and isolation. And the stress is just... Life, in general.

Being a depression survivor is hard, because you're supposed to find a purpose for yourself, when you didn't even PICTURE yourself being THIS far. Keep going, while you're actually still somewhat struggling to find the path, and will to continue.

You isolate yourself from the world in your mind, your safe, comfort zone. Where anything good can happen, there's no stress, no duties, adultery, no work. You ghost people, avoid everyone and everything, stay in your home, and LITERALLY survive the day to the best of your abillity. Try to avoid thinking about ANYTHING else but you, your f/os, your perfect little world. You struggle with most simple things like getting up, eating the right ammount, doing things you like, taking care of yourself, but you're supposed to be an ADULT. To already KNOW how to take care of yourself, because FAR more worse things are waiting for you out there.

I love my f/os. But I don't love myself, what I have become. And that is what makes me worried the most. I cannot become what I want if I already act this terrible.

[facelessfinest]

I came up with a plot for a second Ghost Trick game/ Post-Canon AU. Spoilers for the game, obviously.

The day Yomiel is released from prison, he finds out that Sissel (The woman) has been kidnapped as part of another attempt by the foreign country to erase all the people who know about temsik. Sissel knows about temsik because Yomiel told her in his letters from jail.

With help from the cast of the original game, he tries to find her. When the team tries to confront whoever the country sent to come after them, it turns out to be…Yomiel. Again.

There’s a lot of distrust and confusion, but eventually they find out that there is a ghost who can copy the powers of anyone previously touched by the temsik meteorite, even if their death was erased. Yomiel, as the manipulator, obviously has some of the most useful abilities.

To create a ghost who could use such abilities however, the foreign country killed a lot of animals and people. In order to try and save them, yomiel kills himself in the presence of the meteor fragment in order to regain his ghost tricks. Sissel (the cat) begged him not to, because he wouldn’t be able to come back unless Sissel died as well, and Yomiel had made him promise he wouldn’t do that.

The new manipulator turns out to be a ferret named Fromm who was tricked into thinking he was Yomiel after he died. He can use any ghosts abilities he likes, but he experiences amnesia when switching between them, which is why he does it very infrequently and is very vulnerable when he does, besides, he’s must useful to the foreign country when he thinks he is Yomiel. It comes to light that the foreign country killed Sissel (the woman) to make Fromm believe the detective team had done it, in order to influence him to do the countries bidding. Yomiel finds out his fiancé is dead and goes into a rage and disappears, leading Sissel to give up his life to find him. They team up to get Sissel (the woman) back, and free all the ghosts the foreign country made in order to give Fromm all his abilities, as well as to free Fromm too. The others think he might be too far gone, but Sissel (the cat) insists that can’t be the case, and cites Yomiel as proof. Yomiel has mixed feelings, he knows Fromm is experiencing the same thing he once did, but the loss of his wife after 10 years of trying to get over her death, and another 10 years in prison waiting to see her again weigh on him heavily and alter his judgement.

Yomiel has to learn how to connect with people who haven’t been to the ghost world in order to speak with everyone, along with other new abilities.

[machathemorrigaesystem]

vent, tw sucide

fuck almost fell over 5+ times

i know its going ot gt worse

this is supposidly the pinacle, the peak, the apex of my life and health

it all will get worse from here

i fear on day we'll gt more reliant and more physically depenadant on othrs

it would best that once we can we leave everyone we do so we dont burden them during our descent into getting unhelathier and unhealtheir

all we are, all we ever was, all we ever will be is a burden

a miserale, useless, pathetic burden

we will achive nothing, do nothing worthwhile,

just waste resources by exsisting and further poison everyone around us with our presence

it would be best if we left, or killed ourselves. that is the logical option.

all we are is horrid, a horrible maligance apon the world , one that should be exiled or purged.

[1-8oo-anarchy]

it’s been 3 days since they found my sui notes, i cant stop reliving it.

which is weird because i barely remember it, i remember them laughing while crying and how much it felt like they wanted to hurt me. i remember the accusations of me not loving them and not wanting to be married and having always been a liar.

i remember being afraid of it all. i cant stop remembering that.

but there is so much after that that i just can’t find. i know we talked for like another 2 hours and i had tears tracks on my shirt and where i hid my face from them in the couch, but i have no idea what happened during that time.

i should have hidden them better. or just done it sooner.