#sucidal ideation cw

[starliit]

Mental Illness.

CONTENT WARNING for mentions of substance / drug use, alcoholism, suicidal ideation & a near - suicide attempt - along with a general analysis of several mental illnesses and their effect on kaveh's life.

DISCLAIMER: I believe Teyvat, especially Sumeru, does have diagnoses and/or explanations for some mental illnesses and even some treatments for them. However, for the ease of comprehension I will be referring to diagnoses that exist in the "real world", but would obviously not be known by such names or descriptions in Teyvat. The titles of these diagnoses are not as important as the symptoms they create - which, of course, I will detail in my reasoning.

The earliest evidence of mental illness in Kaveh's life is his ADHD. A predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type, young Kaveh was a child always on the go - running around, talking everyone's ears off - unable to sit still or remain quiet during any waking moment. He would focus intensely on tasks he found interesting (particularly creative endeavors) and rarely on those he did not.

Before his time in the Akademiya, these traits did not usually impair his daily life other than his parents sometimes having to beg him for silence to finish their work. As a student however, the struggle with his disorder became more apparent, Kaveh powerless to stop fidgeting or getting up during his classes (among other issues). Much to his instructors' surprise, these issues would not cause his grades tp flounder due to his interest in his chosen study path and above-average intellect.

Nevertheless, anxiety and depression would make their debut, rising partially out of this untreated ADHD and post-traumatic response to his father's death. He would become overwhelmed with fear about his studies, about his mother's health, and sometimes nothing at all - he just worried. And his early depression would be evident in the development of his guilt at his father's death and some fluctuating interest in his hobbies. At this time, his depression would not impair him as badly as his anxiety.

Tighnari would be Kaveh's saving grace - introducing the scholar to an incense made of a mixed batch of mushrooms and herbs that would calm Kaveh's anxiety enough to function appropriately again. Unfortunately, the substance would be the trigger for Kaveh's first major manic episode. He would not sleep for three days straight, catching up on work and research he had been ignoring. The two thought it was a one-off reaction to a possible bad batch and didn't worry.

What Kaveh would shrug off was the "beginning" of his battle with bipolar disorder.

While it's unknown whether it would be due to his trauma, genetics or something else entirely, his father very likely showed signs of the disorder as well - particularly shown in his reaction to Sachin's consciousness.

Over the next few years Kaveh's mood swings would grow worse. He would try to ignore his mania, enjoying much of its supposed benefits - including but not limited to his increased self-confidence and extreme periods without the need to sleep, Kaveh going several days with maybe an hour or two or none at all. The biggest negative to him would be the signs of excessive & frivolous mora spending long before his debt to Dori. But it wouldn't be until after his episodes that he realized the trouble that the purchases may have caused him.

His depressive episodes would grow deeper, longer and harder to break - particularly in the wake of his mother's absence. Many times he would find himself imagining and even wishing for his own death, either believing it a requisite exchange for his father's death or simply hating himself enough to wish for an end. He's only had one near-attempt - the night after the Withering destroyed every bit of work on the first attempt of the Palace of Alcazarzaray. The night he decided he would give everything to finish the project.

While his mood swings continue to bother him, time has taught him better coping skills and moving in with Alhaitham has helped ground him some leading to some more stability than he's been used to.

(Dis)Honorable Mention: He would start drinking a few months after his mother was married in Fontaine, but the more his mood swings have gotten out of control - the more it's become a problem and the more likely one would call it alcohol abuse. He does not currently believe it is a problem despite being called out by his friends for some of his actions - particularly day drinking after getting irritable with a client.

[csmistcres]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 ➤  𝙴𝙻𝚈𝚂𝙴 𝙱𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙺𝚂  [ TOPIC: TEENAGE YEARS ]

at the age of fourteen , elyse was number two in the country and on track to be an olympic athlete. in fact , she was called the next great gymnast to beat. unfortunately , everything gold doesn't always glimmer; secretively she was at her breaking point. her parents had been putting so much pressure on her , controlling every aspect about her life. she kept her head up in front of her mom & dad, but would cry behind closed doors from all of the pressure; the long hours , constant injuries , a controlled diet. and of course , not having a life or even friends. the only people she knew her age was her competition.

when she finally told her parents that she wanted to quit her gymnastics , she was fifteen. they were pissed and threatened to kick her out of the house and cut her off. she managed to get out of that at least, but they treated her horribly. by now , she was managing being a first time student at a busy new york city high school. all her life , she had a private tutor. she would come home and her parents would hardly give her the time of day. there were days where she no longer wanted to live , but eventually she got better as she made friends and focused on her studies. most nights she wouldn't come home until well after dark , not that her parents cared anyway. she was just glad they kept the door unlocked.

she turned eighteen a few months before graduation. she decided that because she still had money from all those endorsements and campaigns , she would move out and get an apartment. she already knew how to cook her own meals , own laundry. as she already knew how to be independent as she started to live like it during her sophomore year of high school.

she finally graduated with honors and applied to several colleges. she even got a scholarship to the ohio state university , which she took as her way out of new york and away from her parents forever. this is where and when she decided to pursue medicine.

[ethereal-night-fairy]

Slasher!Soap

Slasher!Soap x Passively Suicidal Female Reader

AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED.

I wonder how Slasher!Soap would deal with a passively suicidal victim. I'm just having fun with this concept. I'm happy to do specific scenarios but please read blog rules before sending in asks. Inspired by @ghouljams drabble.

Where it started

Aftermath

Before the chase

The chase

Slasher Soap Art

Non Canon stuff

Slasher!Ghoul x Dove

Copyright © by ethereal-night-fairy. 2024. All Rights Reserved. Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or to use with AI technologies.

[choshinsei]

An attack is the last thing Choso expects, even after the earlier kick, but he's more prepared this time around. Yuuji's clothes once again find a place on the ground as Choso drops them in order to catch the concrete slab that's thrown at him. It's a bit of a rough catch, he's still getting used to the new limits on his powers, but he avoids any serious damage to himself or their surroundings.

Choso's not really sure what to do or say anymore, just that he absolutely can't leave Yuuji in this state. It's tempting to try and get in close to hug his little brother, to give him any sort of positive contact, but he restrains himself. Rather than say or do anything, he just takes on the role of a punching bag for Yuuji's frustrations, using his skills to dodge attacks and reduce property damage until his little brother's good and tuckered out.

The world blurred as he made his escape; city landmarks and pedestrians morphed into indistinct blobs of colors. Yuuji's instinct navigated him home, following the trail he and his friends trekked daily. This city had been their sanctuary, their solace-- now, harsh reality crushed everything Yuuji desired and dreamed. His life as a normal teenager shattered under the weight of his crimes.

His first name, a name only heard from gramps and Eiden, begged him. He looked over his shoulder, peering fearfully at his pursuer. What does he want, and why does Yuuji suddenly feel like a cornered rabbit? Yuuji bit his lip, the burden of his failures dogging him. He didn't want to die, he didn't want to kill anymore, he wanted to be free.

Yuuji skidded to a stop, roaring in retaliation. He thrusted his fist, throttling a thousand pounds of force into the concrete, shattering the surface like ice on a frozen lake. He kicked up a jutting slab of concrete and heaved it through the air like a frisbee, its trajectory honed on Choso.

All sense of morality drained from Yuuji's mind. Red tainted his vision, and the memories of those he killed fogged his brain. He desired only to rid the agony, the pain with his only solution: keep killing, keep removing the pieces from the board-- until no one but he's left to kill, then it'll be over.

[gremlinmodetweeker]

A Walk in the Woods

So, I had some struggles in my life. I've been homeless since about July 27th, but I've been staying at a friend's home. I'm on disability, so it's hard to make ends meet.

In the depths of my despair, I wrote about König's lonesome walks in the woods.

Edit: As of August 13th, I do nearly have a home now. However, I am still posting this because it reflects an important feeling and something I think about with König. I love writing him as goofy and awkward, but I think sometimes it's important to remember the reality of being a soldier.

TW: Suicide reference, ptsd, references to gore, warfare/active combat discussion, depression, mental illness

Story below Cut

A Walk in the Woods

König goes on long walks alone sometimes.

You might be tempted to come with him, but that would defeat the purpose of the walk, so he’d just have to have you tag along and take another walk later, most likely when you’re asleep.

Long walks in the woods help König calm down. He likes the silence of the forests. Sometimes, if he’s lucky, he’ll hear an owl hooting or see a bat fluttering by. He’s thankfully not the type that mosquitoes are attracted to, so bugs tend to leave him alone if he just gives himself a light spritz with bug spray. He thinks that long ago, his body adapted to the forests. Maybe it was because it was the place he felt most himself, maybe it was because it was where he was most alone. The forests never bothered answering his questions.

On these walks, König has the time to finally think about what’s been going on in his life. When he walks, he thinks about how long he has left to serve. Will he retire when he hits the golden age, or will he retire when his body gives out? Will he even make it to retirement? He doesn’t know. He wonders what will happen to you when he retires. He also doesn't know, which is worse. It frightens him terribly that he knows there’s nothing he can do to protect you from the reality of living with a partner in the military. He’s gotten to a point where he no longer sees warfare, but he does hostage rescues in dangerous cities in more dangerous countries. How long until there’s a chink in his armour?

When he walks he thinks about how he’ll divide his will. He needs to be prepared, as much as he wishes he could live forever. His mother made it until she was in her late nineties, his father just turned one hundred when he passed. He comes from longevity, but does he truly want to live that long? He’s done so much damage to his bodies throughout his years of service. His body could only go on for so much longer, and he didn’t know how long he could last.

When König was younger, he was brave and proud of taking after his grandfather by going into the Austrian Jagdkommando. He was revered by his younger siblings, and his parents had been nothing but proud of him for his decisions. He’d been a strong recruit and quickly risen the ranks to a prestigious title.

Now, as he walks through these lonely woods, he doesn’t quite know how much value his title holds anymore. What worth is a badge and a name if you spend most of your life looking at your partner through a phone, really? Is he even worthy of being a father if he has to spend months overseas? He’s missed so much of his loved ones' lives because of this godforsaken burden he carries. No amount of money could buy back the time he’s lost with his family.

And yet, still, he works. He trains in the barracks, readies his bodies for the next onslaught of bodies and screams when he is deployed into the next battlefield. He knows that when he comes home, he’ll have new nightmares to wake up screaming from. And who will be there to comfort him but you, frantically awoken by his thrashing and screaming as he shoots and kills all over again in his mind’s eye. He lives it over and over again every night. He will until he sleeps one final time. He’s trapped on lands you’ve never seen, lands he hopes you’ll never see in your lifetime. He’s seen so much carnage, there is so much blood on his hands and these same hands are the ones that hold you, cherish you, fuck you. He’s covered you in blood. 

His walks carry him deep into the forest. There, he finds a clearing where he’ll look up to see the sky. Some days it’s blue and wide as the sargasso sea, some days it’s swathed in a darkness only split by the twinkling eyes of the gods above. Every time he looks up, he hopes that someone somewhere will see him begging on his knees for forgiveness. He tells you he doesn’t pray anymore, but he prays every time he comes to this clearing. Not for himself, no he’s long since been sent to Hell. He prays for you because he’s afraid that he’ll drag you down with him.

When he comes home, he’ll smile and hug you tightly. You always ask about it, but he never tells you where he went. He keeps telling himself he’ll bring you some day, but he knows he never will. You’ve seen him weak, but he can’t bear to have you see him like this. He wants you to see him smile and laugh and hold his children up above his head and fill the air with the sounds of joy and youth. He’s a strong and powerful aurochs of a man. You may see him stumble when he goes out to the hardware store to fix the latest leak in the sink, but he wants you to see him as a reliable pillar of support.

He prays that you will never see him out in the woods alone. He’s terrified that one day, one fateful day, you’ll go into his clearing to find him way up high among the tree branches.

Story Masterlist

[stygiantechpriest]

ugh today has been stressful as hell, and im currently mad at myself for developing crushes on some people and the fact im so tired i had a Freudian slip ...... I hate this, i hate having these crushes, they are useless, i won't have a chance, im pathetic, i don't deserve relationships (including the one i have with sage),i don't deserve friends, i deserve to be alone forever, to suffer,

tw suicidal idealation for cut

right now I don't want to be alive, som im going to sleep so i can not be conscious

[youraverageventblog]

Being suicidal for 5 years really fucks up a person’s head

[1-8oo-anarchy]

it’s been 3 days since they found my sui notes, i cant stop reliving it.

which is weird because i barely remember it, i remember them laughing while crying and how much it felt like they wanted to hurt me. i remember the accusations of me not loving them and not wanting to be married and having always been a liar.

i remember being afraid of it all. i cant stop remembering that.

but there is so much after that that i just can’t find. i know we talked for like another 2 hours and i had tears tracks on my shirt and where i hid my face from them in the couch, but i have no idea what happened during that time.

i should have hidden them better. or just done it sooner.

[floralembarrassment]

i love your writing sm! could i please request something with james and regulus being attached to each other? like james and regulus need to be touching somewhere at all times. thanks in advance if you do decide to write it!

Hello! Interesting request... I'm not sure this is exactly what you asked for but it is what you inspired! with love

Exploring (1/1) (jegulus)

"James!" Regulus shouted. It was supposed to be a warning but really it was all fear.

James had run right to the edge of the barrier to look over the ocean, not slowing until he hit it. Regulus had visions of him tumbling right over the edge.

James laughed as he held his arms wide and let the wind whip at his hair. "Woohoo!!!" He held into it, a smile plastered on his face shiny clear in his eyes.

"Reg come on! You have to see this!" James turned his head and hollered back.

Regulus was standing a few feet away still, too afraid to get near the edge. Partly because in another he might not want to stay on this side of the barrier, even though he has chosen in this one to stay. The other part that kept him away was the water. He could hear the waves crashing at the rocks, he could already feel the wind pushing him one way and then the next.

But he did come all this way.

And here he was, with James' hand outstretched to him. An invitation. A promise of safety. A place to stay grounded.

He took a deep breath with the wind and took a few steps forward, grabbing onto James.

And then he look up and looked out over the beautiful view. He could see why James had been smiling so brightly. It was incredible. And suddenly he was just holding James' hand, then just their pinkies were linked together, as they both marvelled over the the waters and Regulus felt so safe enough to explore so long as he was near enough to feel James' warm touch.

They spent hours walking up and down the edge, minding their steps but loving the view. James was extra happy because not only did he get to see this magnificent piece of the earth, he got to see his favourite view, Regulus enjoying him.

[suuuicide]

✨Girlhood✨

[cryptic-diary]

I hope. I hope that when it is my turn, I will be able to see stars as clear as the darkening edge of my vision. I hope that when the cold seeps into my clothes and into my bones, that it will comfort me as much as it cured the burns of the past before. I hope that when I take my final breath, it is of relief.

[inky-evergreen]

This is @cagneyblooms doing btw. She made me do this 😔😔

[tireddovahkiin]

CW: VENT POST!!! mentions of depression/indirect mention of suicidal thoughts/unhealthy coping mechanisms

Y'all I've come to a conclusion that seeing self ship doubles MAKES ME MORE SAD THAN SEEING CANON X CANON SHIPS-

Like bc- they actually dont bother me THAT much, I think of them more like a 'alternative cursed universe where there could always be a posibillity for crazy stuff' ship. Yk, like, how there COULD be an alternative universe out there where every president of a country have to wear a maid dress or something idfk-

the world is vast and we don't know SHIT about it

BUT THE FUCKING- ... DOUBLES...

It actually really really breaks my heart... Almost like I'm watching a "thief" take away my most valuable treasure, yk... No offense to any doubles out there, you're valid, and you're no thief, you cannot choose who you love.

But I dunno... I also am very scared of "shadowbanning" in the self ship community... Like VERY scared.

With "shadowbanning" I mean, there being some bigger, more popular users on social media who are famous for being the (character's) spouse. The character we both self ship with. But of course, the popular one is going to gain much more attention and interactions because they have been self shipping for longer time, or their art/ s/is are very popular and likeable.

So, if I tried to break the ice through and consider myself the (character's) spouse, and share my self ship stuff on the platforms, I would be DOUBLE IGNORED, and FORGOTTEN above all.

And I cannot have the same mindset with the canon x canon ships, because I know that person DOES exist in real life. And that they the character much longer than me... And have merch... And celebrate anniversaries... And treat the relationship as a real one.

It's literally like a war... where the more 'loved' one wins.

Don't get me wrong. I ALSO want to do that form my own f/os. I WANT to build the a shrine, I WANT to treat my ship serious, I WANT to draw us, and to gather merch, I WANT to love my f/os as much as I feel love for them.

But sometimes, people are not able to fulfill their needs because of the situation/environment they're in.

For example, they could either be financially unstable, the country they live in has no 'merch' of the said media, the family is unsupportive and abusive, or just... Be VERY busy with life in general. Not being able to give attention to even the smallest things, like stuff they love to do in free time, let alone their beloved f/o.

.. I myself am in that situation. My country is poor, I am about to enter university, I am still healing from my past traumas/trying to get better and fight off the problems on my own, even if it is VERY difficult, and no one understands. I should already work and have a job, have MY money, ACT like an adult should, and become independent. But I am not. I was emotionally scarred, which left big impact on my (concerning) social, (terrifying) future, and (nonexistent) work life.

I basically depend off my parents, and know absolutely nothing in general, like- I feel hopeless, dissapointed. Scared above all. Because I think a part of me is still not ready to move on and grow up, and I already did.

So, if I cannot take care of MYSELF, how can I take care of the sacred relationship me and my f/os have, love I feel for them? The attention I oh so, DESPARATELY want to give them, yet I don't even give attention to my life, and try to hide away from everything? How can I even think about them if I cannot think about anything else?

... I dunno. I'm just... I just sometimes think I am underserving of such recognition, and to be called the (character's) lover/friend/family. Because, not do I "ignore" us, but I ignore my life, too.

With ignore, I mean, I TRY to survive every single day as the best I can. Get over it, then repeat again. For quite some time now. Cope with "stress" (when there IS NO actual stress) with unhealthy maladaptive daydreaming methods and isolation. And the stress is just... Life, in general.

Being a depression survivor is hard, because you're supposed to find a purpose for yourself, when you didn't even PICTURE yourself being THIS far. Keep going, while you're actually still somewhat struggling to find the path, and will to continue.

You isolate yourself from the world in your mind, your safe, comfort zone. Where anything good can happen, there's no stress, no duties, adultery, no work. You ghost people, avoid everyone and everything, stay in your home, and LITERALLY survive the day to the best of your abillity. Try to avoid thinking about ANYTHING else but you, your f/os, your perfect little world. You struggle with most simple things like getting up, eating the right ammount, doing things you like, taking care of yourself, but you're supposed to be an ADULT. To already KNOW how to take care of yourself, because FAR more worse things are waiting for you out there.

I love my f/os. But I don't love myself, what I have become. And that is what makes me worried the most. I cannot become what I want if I already act this terrible.

[facelessfinest]

I came up with a plot for a second Ghost Trick game/ Post-Canon AU. Spoilers for the game, obviously.

The day Yomiel is released from prison, he finds out that Sissel (The woman) has been kidnapped as part of another attempt by the foreign country to erase all the people who know about temsik. Sissel knows about temsik because Yomiel told her in his letters from jail.

With help from the cast of the original game, he tries to find her. When the team tries to confront whoever the country sent to come after them, it turns out to be…Yomiel. Again.

There’s a lot of distrust and confusion, but eventually they find out that there is a ghost who can copy the powers of anyone previously touched by the temsik meteorite, even if their death was erased. Yomiel, as the manipulator, obviously has some of the most useful abilities.

To create a ghost who could use such abilities however, the foreign country killed a lot of animals and people. In order to try and save them, yomiel kills himself in the presence of the meteor fragment in order to regain his ghost tricks. Sissel (the cat) begged him not to, because he wouldn’t be able to come back unless Sissel died as well, and Yomiel had made him promise he wouldn’t do that.

The new manipulator turns out to be a ferret named Fromm who was tricked into thinking he was Yomiel after he died. He can use any ghosts abilities he likes, but he experiences amnesia when switching between them, which is why he does it very infrequently and is very vulnerable when he does, besides, he’s must useful to the foreign country when he thinks he is Yomiel. It comes to light that the foreign country killed Sissel (the woman) to make Fromm believe the detective team had done it, in order to influence him to do the countries bidding. Yomiel finds out his fiancé is dead and goes into a rage and disappears, leading Sissel to give up his life to find him. They team up to get Sissel (the woman) back, and free all the ghosts the foreign country made in order to give Fromm all his abilities, as well as to free Fromm too. The others think he might be too far gone, but Sissel (the cat) insists that can’t be the case, and cites Yomiel as proof. Yomiel has mixed feelings, he knows Fromm is experiencing the same thing he once did, but the loss of his wife after 10 years of trying to get over her death, and another 10 years in prison waiting to see her again weigh on him heavily and alter his judgement.

Yomiel has to learn how to connect with people who haven’t been to the ghost world in order to speak with everyone, along with other new abilities.

[ancientastarwis]

SUICIDE INDICATORS (TW)

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. As I am writing this, many beings are thinking about ending their journey, for one reason or the other. Suic*** has been normalized when happening in certain contexts and forgotten about in many others. The truth is that, for a horrible amount of individuals, the reason was society. It is important to understand that we are all here in the same way, but we are not as strong to take it all in and move on. That's why we need to be respectful and caring towards others. One day it could be you, and it may be for a different reason, but you'd want someone to show you their heart.

You are needed. You are wanted. You are loved. If you are looking for a sign, this is it. You are important and I appreciate your existence. Earth wouldn't be the same without you. Please keep going. You can do it. You are awesome. Show your light. Stay.

The Indicators Project seeks to provide validation to those that have been through the situations and conditions described, as well as to bring awareness to many different issues and ways of being that are usually undervisibilized, misunderstood or unspoken due to still being some sort of taboo.

Indicators should never be used as a tool for self-diagnosis nor against yourself or others in any way, shape or form. Having one single indicator does not mean you will experience the situation described, specially if you never have before. Do not take this as a life sentence but rather as an explanation of the possibility of experiencing something. Use it the events in your journey through a wider perspective.

The ultimate purpose of Indicators is to be eventually used as a tool for prevention and self-awareness by all beings. Indicators signal the likelihood for situations, events, conditions and decisions. There are more indicators that need to be found, so researchs remain open forever. If you would like to participate in this or any other research as a volunteer, write an e-mail with the Subject 'Research Volunteer' to ancientastarwis@gmail.com I'm currently researching many different things so don't be afraid to reach out and introduce yourself. Feel free to tell me your story and as much (or little) details as you wish. Thank you for being you.

[hes-a-phantom]

CW: suicide, depression!!

Death is not a card about physical death. The Death card speaks of cycles and is a reminder that all things must pass. Hanging on to situations from the past will hinder you from allowing new, better things to enter your life. In every ending lies a chance for a new beginning.

--------------------

Ruby Rose as Death.

So this volume I had been thinking to make tarot cards for a few of the characters. And I light of resent episodes I wanted to start with Ruby as the card Death. I recognised a lot of Ruby's mindset in the last few episodes mostly because I have been there, and still kinda am.

As a late diagnosed neurodivergent person, who for the most of his life masked so hard, that now I don't know who I am without the mask on. And all that of course came with a lot of depressive episodes and passief suicidal ideation. (No worries, I am medicated and in therapy), so Ruby's mental health journey hit close to home.

I have the curious cat line up next, and I am making the drafts for my boy man Jaune.