#stupid disorganization!!!
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BEE KISS TOMORR- *dead* /j
If anyone wants to watch me drawing this like a little victorian child then the timelapse is below the cut 🤣
(FLICKER WARNING. It's all through out so be careful!👍 )
#RWBY#Bumbleby#Blake Belladonna#Yang Xiao Long#Foxarts#YOUR HONOR I HATE THEM (that's a lie actually)#I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS FOR 3(?) DAYS NOW AND I'M SICK#Technically this doesn't contain spoilers but let me know if I should add the tag!#In reality I think cloud scene will happen episode 7-ish BUT being delusional is what being a bee fan is all about-#This is the first time I've actually tried drawing a kiss sooooo hope it turned out ok xDD#I am the one who looks away when anyone kisses for more than 2 seconds so.#Kisses aren't very photogenic that's all I'll say (I had 3 tutorials open and 5 references pulled up)#This was so messy- I forewent line art because I hate it and I thought it wouldn't be bad to just clean up the sketch. I was kind of right.#Watching back the recording is funny because I've always known I'm disorganized but just watching it play out is hilarious.#Enjoy my little notes and doodles 😌😌#They're so soft I want to scream.#I SURE HOPE I DIDN'T FORGET ANYTHING 😭#Risking my livelihood for these stupids since 2020 *strikes pose*#Anyways that's enough of my rambling.#HAVE A NICE DAY Y'ALL!!
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Every single fanfic I read which isn't centered on Sonic or isn't made by someone whose fav is Sonic charactersizes him to be either stupid or lazy or idiotic or 'sucks at [insert thing]
I fucking hate this fandom sometimes
#he is Not stupid! yall are jyst stereotyping him. he doesn't suck at cooking 🙄 are you even hearing yourself. his home isn't cluttered or#disorganized or dirty. stop trying to validate your favs by making him shitty. he's not bad with technology as yall say he can use computers#and hack into passwords#he never thinks. shut up you usually do not know when or what somebody thinks#the only books he'd read are comics. fuck off actually. i revoke ypur licence to write Sonic#he is idiotic and clumsy . *shoots you*#do some of you really like to do this because he's the mc and your fav didn't get the screentime you wanted?#sonk#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#tired of this#STOP STEREOTYPING ANF MISCHARACTERIZING HIM
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I have a really hard time explaining how weird the Equestria Girls timeline is to people so I made this convenient and extremely abridged presentation to make things easier
#conclusion: everyone has Ash Ketchum syndrome#mlp#equestria girls#mlp equestria girls#mlp eqg#shitpost lol#video#this is stupid#this is also lowkey disorganized as hell but uh#also the song is Payphone by Maroon 5#Equestria girls brainrot
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The only thing that's stopping me from making one for Sharena is the fact that I think I hit a limit to how many blogs you can have??? Huh. Whoops! Also paranoid about deleting anything. So I'd just have to strip an existing one and tbh I don't know how committed I am to that. We'll see.
#i have an old ass one that would be perfect to strip tbh but i feel like i'd be annoyed#at the blog order chronologically. it would be above my moe-core one.#i have another one that's like. i've been collecting dresses there. but i haven't actually published any posts.#i've come Close. but it's just something i've been so... maybe overly cautious about?#it is like. a mani centric moodboard blog. no textposts just fashion i think would be appealing to it/for inspo#but bc it is Such. Such a NICHE fucking thing. esp bc the fashion is all high femme. like.#i really did just invent the dysphoria nexus w mani LMFAOOO LIKE. IT IS THE DYSPHORIA NEXUS...........#mani is safe when it's locked in moe's head and when alfonse sees it for what it is (and maybe more importantly#sees it for what it Isn't. ESP bc it's hard to say that mani is anything at all. ect)#what if i give a false impression............. what if i accidentally appeal to the wrong audience................#what if i get killed. it would kill me. mani isn't allowed to exist outside of moe for a reason.#SO LIKE. all in all i would prefer NOT to strip that one but Also. there is nothing there. so. well.#then i have the lif one i'm planning on using for later BUT.... if i did the Stupid idea ....#of having lif quotes mixed in on the alfonse one.... but aaaughhhh that seems too disorganized for me.#IDK. IDK. maybe this is a mercy in disguise.#but i do love her............. i do need to study her..... i have been writing down her lines too............
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okay so the conference I applied to that’s supposed to give me an answer by Monday sent an email this afternoon that says I got a $500 grant “to support my participation” at the conference and links to a Google form to accept it. But crucially the email and form do not say anything about whether my paper was accepted. And it is now after 5pm on a Friday. I feel crazyyyyyyyy
#ahhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t accept the grant without knowing if I’m giving the paper because otherwise I can’t ask for the time off work!!!!!!!!#surely they wouldn’t be so stupid as to send their grant/paper acceptance emails separately across a whole weekend?#the chair is my undergrad advisor like he’s not that disorganized#but also it’s the big national centenary conference!#there are surely committees within committees….#rare pic of me in the wild
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Thinking about when a "professor" on the Harry Potter role play website I used to hang out on when I was in middle school genuinely reached out to me to recommend I get tested for adhd/dyslexia because of the dogshit quality of the work I turned in for like. Potions class or whatever. I mean they were right but still.
#If I remember correctly my papers were entirely accurate but so misspelled and disorganized as to be unreadable#'what do you mean papers' yeah it was a role play website where we all played hogwarts students and did actual homework that got graded#And shit I don't know man middle school was a weird time#But like. None of my actual teachers in my entire life caught that and just assumed I was either stupid or being difficult on purpose#It took another four years to get officially diagnosed with anything
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keefe w/ avoidant attachment & fitz w/ anxious attachment 😕
#kotlc#this is my take on it#bpd fitz vacker#<— i am an introject of fitz & i have bpd#but i could write an essay on that#anyways yeah#they have different disorganized attachment styles#and villainizing one over the other is stupid#or romanticizing one over the other#trauma sucks & they’re trying their best with what they have#keefe sencen#fitz vacker#no keefe hate or fitz hate allowed in this household
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it's nothing a little wildflower bouquet can't fix
#it definitely is but i'm pretending its not. hope reese doesnt eat all of these or knock it off#ft. some of my utterly disorganized rock collection#and my coffee mug because i dont have anything else to put it in lmao#shocked by how big of a difference this little thing made i've been on the verge of tears all day and now i feel better#youre telling me acts of self care can be helpful?#it does now occur to me that i dont really have anywhere to put this where the cat won't eat it. i dont Think he would poison himself on#the buttercups but he is very stupid so he might#me#reese
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today i succeeded at a quest called Enable Your Girlfriend To Eat Dinner Before 3AM and i feel reasonably good about it
#the quest had various perils#mainly 'they forgot the tupperware of leftovers in our kitchen and i had to bring it them at work'#which i scaled handily. and even managed to find a time window for them to pick it up when they were not in a BL3 sterile suit#and therefore unable to receive texts! total success#box opener#now we work two buildings apart and i had to go in to the lab anyway. so this was not one of the great trials of the age#but i still feel useful and filled with triumph#theres something very satisfying‚ when you are a person who constantly makes minor stupid disorganization errors‚#about being able to completely rescue someone else from any consequences of a minor disorganization-based error.#you can just unhappen it! it never occurred! no mild problems to be had!!#also 🌸 is deliriously beautiful and perfect and i got to SEE THEM at an UNEXPECTED TIME#which was thrilling for me. as it always is.
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not to be cheesy cringe and bare my ass in public but i dont think love is supposed to be a game bro…
#unless ure not looking for love then play that stupid game ig#like if the talking stage consists of Restricting urself and toning down ur needs…..next!#2024 out: playing hard to get 2024 in: no playing just let them get u……FUCK THE CHASE#thats for the bitches with insecure disorganized etc attachments this way u find the ones with the Secure attachments#also i need therapy. i cant be talking shit about my disorganized attachment bitches when i prob have one too lol#sorry amy winehouse love is not a losing game bc love isnt a game#basically i give up cuz why am i attracting losers when im a winner#2024 ins: get a raise and earn passive income#lext
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how to email professor about them being disrespectful of ur time and to please post assignments not 24 hrs before they’re due
#posted two assignments this (sunday) morning due tomorrow (monday) night despite us only having#lecture once a week on tuesday nights#bitch u should have assigned this LAST WEDNESDAY!!!!#i have already planned everything i need to do for the next 48 hrs and ur stupid fucking policy research paper proposal#cannot suddenly take top priority bc u assigned it last minute without any mention in class#meanwhile i have actual big girl classes to worry abt like this fuckass biochem exam. do u want me to kill myself BE HONEST#i’m so pissed i’ve had this prof before and she’s so fucking disorganized and incapable of explaining herself it makes me want#to tear out my hair#lucky me she is also one of my advisors now 😁☝️ according to the email i got yesterday#not for long tho i’m requesting a new one asap i CANNOT give her any morsel of responsibility for my career#I NEED A GUN#the gun is for myself fbi i am not making a threat. obama voice let me be clear
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i reorganized my entire 'junk' closet today yaaayyyyyy :D
#z xarre#these stupid ass rooms dont have bookshelves EVEN THOUGH ITS A STUDENTS DORM (bc they made it for football players)#so we have two closets. i use one for clothes and the other for papers books food trash etc.#i have to dedicate one shelf for each. and i have two bookshelves i brought myself. one for food and then another one for books#the books one is in the closet bc i bought it so it could fit in the closet#i finally brought some uni notes i had laying at home so i had to move the books. some of them were too tall for the bookshelf :(#but finallyyyyyyy😭id been suffering so much. its gonna be disorganized again by next week but at least this week itll be organized#next thing i have to organize is my clothes closet#and after that (or maybe before idk) my medicine drawer in the bathroom. bc its getting to a point that i try opening it#and it doesnt open. not bc its too full but bc i just throw shit in there and it gets jammed😩
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there’s a more correct way of saying it though
#which is to say that one#i am mandated by my university to take on a certain number of tasks each week#all of which require extensive documentation both before and after they take place#but my supervisor is so fucking. disorganized that i can’t plan more than a day ahead#and even then they have been. repeatedly brushing off the tasks We Agreed I Would Do#in favor of them just taking the lead and making all of my planning documentation. redundant.#and then at the end of the week they’re like ‘oh what was if you needed to do#and i end up having to cram all these stupid redundant tasks into one day.#and Two.#because of this ongoing issue of them kind of just. agreeing on something one day and then changing the story on me the very next day#i am Horribly behind on my portfolio project#and having to do Very stupid and difficult things to make it seem like i’m Not horribly behind#and in both cases i just feel like screaming and crying and weeping#but i aldo feel like i have expended the emotionsl good graces of everyone around me#so all that’s left to do is suffer.#(but my brain is so fucking burned out that it feels like i’m just)#(repeatedly jabbing electrodes into a piece of shoe leather meat and begging for it to work again)#oughhhhh i just want to collapse already#someone let me………
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i’d like to have one single decent point of the current state of my life tht i can hold onto and say “well at least i have x” but i literally cannot think of anything
#bella.txt#1. stupid 2. disorganized 3. probably a bit lazy 4. lonely and too lame to do anything about it 5. very mediocre looking 6. uninteresting#like i’ve kinda got nothing going for me#all i have going for me is new puppy but she’s not even mine#getting to go home to see her is the only thing keeping me going rn i need to be honest#my stupid ass grade today just amplified how much i’m not built to be a person like#i would’ve done way better if i hadn’t been going through a fuckass mental break where i can’t leave the house without wanting to throw up#bc then i would’ve gone to class. bc i know my stupid lazy ass lack of work ethic isn’t going to catch up the way i need to!!!#basically i did this to myself and this is going to bleed into every other miserable aspect of my life so like what’s the fucking point#o and to top it off i’m soon to enter my late 20s still single as i have been for my whole life 👍#i’m literally never getting out of this 👍
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Okay now for something different (... not really, in the grand scheme of things.)
But I have... big thoughts and feelings.... about a specific post and I was initially just gonna gush in the tags as usual but. What if I have Things to say.... too many things to say.........
#i only give a warning cause like. it feels extremely disorganized and also. i mean i'm certain i've added to posts before.#but i feel like every time it was like a reply to something i started.#IT'S LIKE.... actually what if i just barge in and say something stupid. will i be killed on sight#a. phenomenon. i've discovered w moe. is that i treat it as if it were a canon chara at this point.#in my heart and in my mind i treat it w the same level of legitimacy and analysis as any other chara i'm in too deep for#which is all well and good when i'm just playing by myself in my corner!#but i do worry about coming off as rude or like. making things about me instead of the topic of the post.#but like geniunely i feel like i need to pick this other post apart point by point bc it scratches EVERY.#EVERY SINGLE ITCH. IN MY BRAIN#idk maybe i'll fine a way around it.#respectful non intrusive style ect ect
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Does anyone understand how to organize. Like how to make it work. Like how to keep spaces clean and your body clean? Does anyone know how to fight back the ever stronger rip tide of filth and clutter that takes over them? Also I'm sleepy.
#i barely have any belongings here and i still live in a fucking mess#i can barely work on my computer because the files are so disorganized. i think im just too stupid to have a good job#and like not to be one of those but i was in gifted. like the implication here was that i would beable to like. bare minimum make it.#and im nooooooooottttttt im not maaakiiiiiinnnnggg ittttt. im runing out of optionnnnnnnsssss#maybe ill just move back to the US and load boxes for fed ex again#but that also ended in my living space becoming almost unlivable#i like. i do t get how people do all these things and no body like can seem to fucking tell me why its so fucking impossible for me D:#like i TRY i really do fucking try. i dont understand. it makes me want to just fucking kill my self no joke. like i no matter what i do i#cant keep a space clean. i cant keep anything nice i break everything i touch and i fail everything i try because something Bout me is just#broken! and bobidy fucking cares! i dont want to be like this. i want to have plants and i wanna smell nice and i want my room to be pretty#and not have fucking bigs all the time#i dont understand i feel like im some fucking avatar for the filth magnusarchives style likw everything about me is dirty#i rot everything i touch. i#legit crying now lol. i just want to be able to be a human. i dont feel like a human. humans care about their environment they can keep#spaces clean. human organize naturally. why am i not human like that?
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