#stop thinking

[gojoest]

satoru….all day i’ve been thinking how i need to lick his clothed bulge i don’t want to suck him off even just drag my tongue up and down his length and have him squirm and moan and soak his boxers with cum for me

[nobeerreviews]

The idea, I decided, is not to think. But how do you stop thinking?

-- Charles Bukowski

(Colmar, France)

[just-trying-to-figure-it-out]

Well well well, if it's not me reading fanfic (gwynriel, kanej, royai) to avoid dealing with my real life problems and thinking about my feelings...

[timidxtempted]

I have had some pretty feely feelings going on after some things that have transpired recently. Feelings of the kind that require capitalization.

You know... The. Big. Feels.

Its not like I'm under the impression that I don't have feelings. I just don't share them. I just don't ever talk about them, preferring to deal with them on my own. But in the middle of the having of said Big Feels, I was asked if we should talk about the Big Feels.

The man who asked me was not really asking if I wanted to talk about them. He was not really making a light suggestion that we might, perhaps talk about them. He was telling me that we absolutely needed to talk about the Big Feels, but he was allowing me the opportunity to overthink about it first.

To say this man knows me is a glaring understatement, you see.

I don't know if he was surprised by what I assume was a long sniff and a mumbled "uh-huh" before I just started talking. If he was, he never gave anything away. He simply did as he always does. He held time and space for me while I used my words.

It might not have been smooth, or coherent at times. But I told him the good, and the icky and the nice and the not nice and the everything of how I was Feeling and why it was so Big.

And when the tears on my face and my runny nose got to be too much for me, I reached for a tissue and blew my nose and took a deep, steadying breath.

Then... He very clearly told me he was proud of me.

...for blowing my nose.

Not proud because I had just completely and tearfully unburdened myself to him, but because I blew my damn nose. Because "in the middle of the deep, emotional, difficult babbling I was doing, I just blew snot rockets without even thinking about it."

No, it's fine.

Laugh.

I did.

While I am fairly certain that he was not only proud of me for the snot rockets, but also the babbling, he did have a point.

I didn't think about it. Not even a thought of a thought. Not a hint of a thought of a thought.

Not the about the snot rockets.

Not about the shoulds or shouldn'ts of the babbling.

Zero thoughts given.

It occured to me much later, that I'm doing that a lot lately. Not thinking. Not just not overthinking. But not even thinking.

Not second guessing, not thinking myself out of something, not thinking... full stop.

Need a hug? Dont think, just ask him to hug me.

Need to cum? Don't think, just ask him. Or beg him.

Feel off? Don't think, just tell him.

Need help? Dont think, just ask him for help.

Feeling scared? Confused? Really fucking frightened? Don't think, just tell him.

He wants to know? Don't think, just tell him.

Need him? Don't think. Just. Tell. Him.

I have spent my life alone in my own head. But I'm not alone in my head anymore. I'm not alone in my life anymore. 

Not alone. Not ever.

He's here.

Unfailingly.

I know that I can depend on him.

I've tried to come up with the words that even come close to encompassing all that. I wracked my brain. Maybe the word doesn't even exist.

Then I realized that I don't have to think about that either. There is a word. Just one.

The word is

Daddy.

This was originally a journal entry. On a laptop where the sticker above resides, should I ever need a reminder. It was suggested to me that others may find this piece helpful, so I have wiped it clean of any errant snot rockets and posted it.

Don't give me that look. It's just snot.

It'll be fine.

Just don't think about it.

[sspacegodd]

[3ai]

[rowen-is-somewhere]

I hate myself

Everyday I look at that same mirror, I always see someone, I never see myself.

I haven't been myself in a while, maybe ten years or more.

Sometimes I hate myself, today is one of those days

[fofi42]

Stop thinking

Taskmaster s17e07 SPOILERS

[ardent-reflections]

If I didn't think, I'd be much happier.

Sylvia Plath

[watermeloncholycucumbersome]

Day 61 of Writing Something Everyday

(365 Day Challenge)

I stare at this screen,

Whether tv or cell.

Either or it's all the same,

Holding me hostage;

But I'm okay with it,

Down the rabbit hole I fell.

Fell intoxicated by it's glow.

Brainwashed unfed dummy,

Hours wasted - down the hatch

I throw.

Time and effort to the wind,

To communicate with none that truly care.

While I bear this load upon my back,

Make my way up the hill - God take this

away, make me immaculate.

Starving soul, fattened flesh.

Clock ticking, the sound slithers into my

ears - consuming my brain.

I need rest,

This doesn't bring me happiness.

I'm in pain..

Yet I keep,

Scrolling...

Scrolling...

Blue light headaches - retinas burnt out.

What is this life without you now?

What would you say,

What would you do?

But instead;

I find vain solace,

In this empty device.

And throw myself down from such great heights.

God please catch me.

~Jenni

[dustyvent]

Today’s to do list:

No thoughts head empty

Eat two pieces of bread

Stop myself from having thoughts

Take 6 hour nap

Wake up and block any semblance of thought

Mastrurbate to block the thoughts

Doomscroll until you feel the actual rot in your brain

Fall asleep hungry on the couch

Have a violently revolting nightmare and remember nothing in the morning

[casualdepression]

I think we've run out of anything new to say a long time ago. But we're forgetful. And things get lost in time.

[book-girl4evaaa]

DQGEJSGBGSBG

[sspacegodd]

DROP YOUR MIND AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY!!

I know what you��re thinking.

"Did he reach the sixth chakra or only five?"

Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is kundalini, the most powerful energy in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question:

"Do I feel enlightened?"

Well, do ya, punk?

[xlilredx]

to all my fellow over thinkers, same 🫶🏼