dustyvent

[dustyvent]

im an alcoholic i chainsmoke cigarettes im a pothead i got bad teeth im greedy im selfish i lie i cheat i steal i got paranoia i got ptsd i got depression i dont like doing things i dont like going out im boring

[dustyvent]

My imposter syndrome and my god complex fighting over the fact that I might be good at my job?

[dustyvent]

Casual Sunday conversations

[dustyvent]

[dustyvent]

He started getting bored guys I think it’s a win

CAN’T YOU GET BORED OF ME

JUST GET BORED

GET BORED ALREADY

LEAVELEAVELEAVE GET BORED LEAVE

When will you get bored of me?

Please tell me when you leave

[dustyvent]

The only reason I don’t post on here as much anymore is because I’ve somehow found the perfect balance of keeping the anxiety in my fingers while simultaneously living like I don’t have any issues

That surely won’t come around to bite me in the ass, right?

Right?

[dustyvent]

Things never really change. The same way I used to accidentally bring drugs to school in high school I now bring them to school but as a teacher. My mental issues, balancing a job and still trying to be social have got me in a perpetual spiral of “oh shit fuck I forgot”

[dustyvent]

destroying myself so others can't as the only form

of control i've ever known

[dustyvent]

"you look sad and tired" well, I am

[dustyvent]

Being alone is enjoyable until you become painfully aware of just how alone you truly are.

[dustyvent]

At the end of the day I’m still alone. No matter how long I spend talking to someone. No matter how many strangers I enchant into giving me as much attention as they can afford to give me. No matter how much the person I live with sits across from me and tells me about things they’re interested in. I’m alone. My loneliness is rooted deep into my nervous system and it grows with every breathing moment. I yearn to be accepted and have a home.

[dustyvent]

I need more writer friends. I need more artistic friends. I need more friends in general. I need friends that walk around and still find the whimsy in life even after the toughest 9-5 shift in their life. I’m tired of having all these people with nothing but hate in their hearts. I need someone to wake up and tell me about how they dreamt of a new painting, or how in the middle of their shift they had the best idea for a book and scribbled it down on a receipt or piece of paper. I need more friends that look for the beauty in things.

[dustyvent]

CAN’T YOU GET BORED OF ME

JUST GET BORED

GET BORED ALREADY

LEAVELEAVELEAVE GET BORED LEAVE

When will you get bored of me?

Please tell me when you leave

[dustyvent]

Doing bits and shitposts is fun and all but when do I get to tell you about the weight I carry in my heart and how I think your hand on my back would cure any bad thought I’ve ever had?

[dustyvent]

Bile in my throat I love bile in my throat I love knowing it made a home there I love feeling it choke me and rise up to my tongue every time I speak it’s so thick I love bile in my throat I’ll either vomit or scream and you should run as far away as possible because I love bile in my throat I love being choked up

[dustyvent]

Youre annoying them.

Leave them alone

They don't want you

Why will you not stop?

They only talk to you out of pity

[dustyvent]

So tired of holding on man like what the fuck am I even hoping for? For this shit to get better? It’s been years it’ll never get better and I’m just fooling myself into thinking it will just because I’m a fucking coward that can’t take my own life