#stop someone's marriage

[bluerosefox]

Everything, including the bride. WAIT, BRIDE?!

Pariah Dark had, much like in the afterlife, had been a tyrant ruler when he was alive. He ruled with an iron fist and despite having many trophy concubines (from conquests and others) he wanted his actual partner to have some intelligence. So he set up a magical puzzle box and whoever solved it would have the honor of being his 'Queen'.... That was all before he died of course and later forgot about the box when he set his conquering sights on the Infinte Realms.

But some things from the living can still count even in death.

So when Tim Drake found the box at his first and only archeologist dig site he was brought to with his parents and solved said box after sneaking off with it he unknowingly became the Ghost Kings 'bride'.... Unknowingly he dodged that huge bullet when years later Danny Phantom beat Pariah Dark in rites of conquest and gained everything under Pariah's name...

Including his future 'bride.'

[cocogum]

Yugo: “So yeah, in the end I no longer have my child body, I defeated and accepted my alter egos who have been ruining and messing around with the world, I saved Nora with some friends, I told our mother to leave if she wasn’t going to do anything, I became king of the eliatropes once again, and I got married to my childhood friend/crush which is why we got a last name now-”

Yugo’s old incarnations: “WE GOT LAID?!?!??”

[tennessoui]

brain will not let me sleep until I say

same age padawans au where they’ve been in a weird wired frenemies thing for ages but now that they’re both mature adults (all of 24/25 years old) they’re more friends than enemies….

And it’s Obi-Wan that Anakin tells when he’s decided he’s going to leave the Order, not anyone else. He has a wife. There was a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago and it made her want their relationship to stop being a secret so they could really have kids. He has to leave the Order. Doesn’t Obi-Wan understand?

Obi-Wan, who has been a little in love with Anakin since they were younglings, does not understand. Not one bit. Instead of wishing him well and helping him pack, he goes to the Council and requests a mission in the Outer Rim….perhaps a month long or more…perhaps undercover? No contact with anyone on Coruscant. And maybe they could assign Anakin Skywalker as his back up? He can help with the undercover aspect.

And at first, Anakin is pissed because he was planning to resign from the Order in the next few days, but Obi-Wan convinces him to go on this mission with him….one last mission as a Jedi. To say goodbye to the Jedi life.

Obviously, Obi-Wan sort of wants to go on one last mission with Anakin because in his dreams, he wants the mission to go so perfectly that Anakin stays with him the Order. But realistically, he mostly wants to go on this mission to say goodbye to Anakin and then let him go, soaking up all his warmth and light, memorizing every casual touch bestowed on him because he knows they’re ticking down to the last handful of seconds together.

But then obviously the mission works TOO well and Anakin falls in love with Obi-Wan but doesn’t admit to it even to himself before they’re on the ship about to head back to Coruscant and Anakin realizes he doesn’t want to leave this planet because he doesn’t want to leave Obi-Wan if it could always be like this so he crashes the ship during take off so they can stay longer because he’s 24 and doesn’t know how to handle the immensity of his love except through destruction

[rottengurlz]

lover, don't touch me // leave, i am a danger to you // but ooh, i hunger for you

[ratatatastic]

erod and his adventures with finnish media aka i think my job is to make mikksy giggle and provide emotional support and i will do my job well!

"imma support you" he says as he gives mikksy a good back pat so he understands that heres here for him and is making space for him. mikksy nodding along like yes very well i expected this thank you you will be the court jester by my side yes

their banter is so toptier "youre half finnish" and erods absolutely JOY when he processes it that he got mikksy of all people admitted him as half finnish like yeah you ARE RIGHT. I AM. I KNOW THE MOST FINNISH ON THE TEAM FOR A NOT-FINN the absolute pride that puffed up in him as being admitted into the finns i did not have mikksy teasing erod about being half finnish in my bingo card and yet here we are

mikksy interupting the finnish reporter just to get one last dig in "you can answer too" and erods just utterly delighted mikksy is being this playful i absolutely cannot stand the way they both look away (mikksy at the reporter to lock back in, erod to giggle into his lap before he cant help but look back at mikksy and their eyes meet in a beautiful- i have to stop myself here before i write romantic prose) and mikksy immediately taking the smile off his fave to focus because YEAH YOU NUMBSKULLS YOURE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERVIEW YOU ARE NOT AT A DINNER DATE GOING WHERE THE MOOD TAKES YOU. FOCUS. LOCK TF IN.

when your secret husband teammate starts actually focusing on the interview and youre alone to your own devices listening to all the finnish and going from happy to be here! to oh dear god what are they saying my rudimentary finnish can only take me so far. you can see the way the cogs in brains are turning slowly and he's trying to recall words hes learned to get any semblance of whats being said but its fast paced for him he just gets lost and the big ass grin he got from mikksy teasing just slowly starts to fall...

not a single thought in that brain of his... the lights are on but no ones home...

the many faces of erod as he tries to say the only finnish words he knows "ah can i go now- no."

nows my chance i can make my secret husband ah i mean teammate giggle see i know finnish look how well im doing please look at me! "kiitos" he looks like a puppy waiting for approval and he got it mikksys proud little nod like yes thats a word good job you remembered and you used it in a- well certainly in a context not really the best context- you know what it doesnt matter good job

this is what i imagine its like when you take your secret husband teammate home to your parents and are like "okay after the several months of finnish lessons ive drilled into you to make a good impression on my parents so they like you and see youre assimilating my culture into our relationship and respect us do you remember what to say?" "kiitos :)" "...good enough. youre canadian its okay theyll be impressed with that. just sit there and look pretty and let me do the talking okay dear?" "kiitos :)" "just like that sweetheart keep it up 👍"

edmonton oilers @ florida panthers game 2 postgame interview | 6.10.24 (x)

[unsurebazookacore]

welp… guess I’m not coming out for the next four years either :)

[sugarsnappeases]

bellareg marriage. thoughts ?

don’t think i don’t see right through you…. but yes i (we) have many thoughts and i would love to talk about them xxxx

bellareg could have such a good marriage!!! like i genuinely believe they could work so smoothly together.... bella and reg who get married bc bella was supposed to marry sirius (the two first-borns of their respective branches... could do amazing things for the bloodline) but then sirius leaves and bella is fuming and reg is miserable and she basically gets foisted off on him instead alongside all the other Heir duties and no one is particularly happy about it but, in the end, both of them end up more or less getting what they want and need out of the marriage.

like bella absolutely refuses to play the role of the good little wife who follows her husband's lead and agrees w everything he says. she's got her own ambitions and plans and she's too much of a force to ever take anything lying down. but luckily reg doesn't want to lead anyone, or be the heir, or be a big strong husband figure and he's super malleable and easy to 'gently' persuade into things and it could all work out very nicely. like bella being the Man Of The House and the Husband behind closed doors while reg is her pampered little wife. also bella gets to be the kinda by-proxy heir/lord which is obvs v important to her. in a way, she's the head of the family ish and that's like. the power she's always wanted and was jealous of when it came to sirius. and now even if she doesn't properly have it (something that could potentially cause a bit of tension??? but also like. reg wants her to have that power too, he absolutely doesn't want it himself so it would be more of a shared woe ig?? like both of them would love it if they could just have a complete role reversal thing), she still has much more power than would have been possible in any other marriage

anyway bella also kinda guides reg (he goes willingly) into being more embroiled in the death eaters, doing what she thinks is best for him and for them (acting as his husband-wife) and making him better and lavishing him w luxury and basically just holding the reins of the marriage. and reg is happy bc he's safe and protected and bella is enough like sirius that he can ultimately fall in love w her and she's happy to dote on him and she does also love him even if she's maybe not in love w him. bc like you said. he's her cousin of course she loves him but also she loves how successful their marriage is. it's harmonious, easy, simple. it just works.

i think the only potential issue in their marriage is the lack of kids. bc bella to me never ever has or wants kids, but she's married to the heir of the black family and reg also defo wants kids. but i agree w you i think that w the level of influence bella has over reg she'd be able to convince him like 'let's wait until after the war' and there'd just be more and more excuses. like the two of them climb the ranks of the death eaters together (mostly bella but she uses reg and also takes him w her) and she couldn't possibly take the time off to be pregnant, reg, don't you believe in our lord's goals?? and reg of course does bc like. w bella acting as the Husband and the Heir/Lord, she would be the one who dealt w the whole kreacher scenario w voldemort and reg would've never found out about the horcrux or had to question his fanaticism, and also bc of bella he's even more fanatical than he normally would be and so this is a very short conversation and reg never brings it up again lol

but anyway yes i just think they could be so content and it's defo a much better marriage than the one that bella would've had if sirius had stayed bc she'd never be able to take on that Husband role w him and they would've probs ended up killing each other but w reg they can kinda complement each other and work well together and be more or less happy :))) yippeeeeee

anyway here are some more screenshots from our texts bc you’re hilarious and a genius and always completely correct and the other half of my soul and i’m obsessed with you <3

[killiansprincss]

Instead of Princess Diaries 3 how about a prequel series about younger Queen Clarisse in a marriage with a man she had to marry, not one she chose out of love. She’s appointed her new security guard Joe. She can’t stand him at first he thinks she’s a spoiled out of touch Queen and we have this beautiful but tragic enemies to lovers storyline that ends in heartbreak as she’s the Queen, she has to stay married to the King and produce an heir but he stays by her side all these years later because he’ll never stop loving her and above everything wants to keep her safe

[itspileofgoodthings]

my romantic self-esteem is just absolutely rock-solid. for whatever reason!

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

questioning sexuality is so exhausting

[bunabi]

I really wonder if the Romanced Lavellan dialogue for those who chose to stop him will still be affectionate

I keep remembering Virelle is 42* now and mourning whatever they had a decade ago feels silly.......I wish the time jump was shorter

If the unromanced dialogue is funnier & makes them sound more divorced than starcrossed I'll just lie in the CC

[codenamesazanka]

Deku "can't forgive" Shigaraki/Tenko for all he's done and needed to stop his cycle of sadness? And this is him being heroic?

Well, I think it's only fair that the Villains never forgive Hero society for managing to produce a dipshit like Deku.

[iamnotaware]

I think more people should get married platonically, it would fix them.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 3 thoughts

here we go! this episode is titled "blood" which did not bode well for me, the girl who hates blood. but i am dedicated and pushed through in the name of our mission.

we open at a post office. sometimes, i think it would be fun to work in a post office.

but alas! our postman has received a paper cut. he licks it up which... can't be hygienic.

and then he immediately gets fired :( this is sooooo unfair

when he returns to his post his machine reads "KILL"!!! my first thought was that this was gonna be a little shop of horrors style thing where an inanimate object tastes blood and Likes it (Which is sort of what happened? but mostly not really)

((side note: need to see mulder and scully take on audrey two))

so it seems that the people are either being told by machines to do some killing or all the members of the town are experiencing collective hallucination...

mulder arrives. i was distracted by his fluffy hair. from the notes: "his hair is fluffy. he isn't saying much at this crime scene but his hair is fluffy"

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! he played right field! (this was brought up when the policeman mentioned the suspect was on the softball team)

back to our post office friend, who is near a child with a random nosebleed whilst getting some money, and now the ATM is telling him to kill people

mulder points out that these are spree killings and not serial ones <-okay human embodiment of the nerd emoji.

it's a totally normal report on the crimes, no spooky stuff involved, and scully is reading it... until he mentions UFOs and she says to herself "i was wondering when you'd get to that" LMAOOOOO she knows him too well

we see a woman being lured into a dark garage by a mechanic and i thought i knew where this was going but i DIDN'T because SHE gets paranoid and the machine tells her the guy is gonna get her and she freaks out and STABS HIM

mulder arrives to the crime scene with a really funny looking camera. can anyone provide me more information about this camera? i'm curious

anyway, he shows up at the house of the woman who killed the mechanic, and we see another example of his bountiful social skills when he asks to come in and she says "i'm late for work" and he just barges in and says "you can blame me". i love this man so bad it's actually a problem. he WILL get inside of ur house.

but her microwave is telling her to kill him and she pulls out a knife and STABS him and i was yelling NOOOOOOOO! and then the cop he was with shoots her and VERY QUICKLY we get a cutscene to....

SCULLY AUTOPSY TIME!!!!!!

she thinks there's some sort of chemical that is making the people do this

we also see poor wet meow meow mulder's bandaged arm :(

back to the ex-postman, who is seeking new gainful employment at a supermarket in which there are guns for sale in the back, another reminder that this show is set in america. he starts to see evil things in the TV but resists (and it might be related to the blood drive at the store but? it's a little unclear tbh)

mulder running scene! getting his cardio in! the man is dripping in sweat! he sees a guy toss some stuff in a yard and it's... dead bugs?

so who does he take the bugs to? well, the weirdos who previously were consulted for another case: the conspirators at the lone gunman! famous for the one guy hitting on scully and ripping up her twenty dollar bill

so we're back to these freaks and he says he didn't see their latest issue because "it arrived the same day as my subscription to Celebrity Skin"

now, i had an educated guess here based on name alone, but needed to confirm what this "celebrity skin" truly was. a search brings you to an album by the band Hole, and i was like omg!!! we're gonna get an insight into his canon music taste!!!! there is nothing more i LOVE than learning a character's favorite artists <3

but, this cannot be... for the show takes place before 1998, when the album was released... so i dig further

chat, as expected, it is a porn mag. seems to have involved some unethical stuff. mulder: ur a sick man.

the even sicker man who previously hit on scully was like "where's your little friend?" and he counters with "she wouldn't come. she was too afraid of her love for you" and the weirdo responds with "she's tasty"

now i want you to buckle your seat belts for what mulder says next. buckled? secured? sat? everyone is in a safe position? okay. he says:

"you know, it's men like you that give perversion a bad name"

HELLO? hey. hi! quick question <3 what does that mean. mulder a freak confirmed????

(i mean i guess we DID already know he fucked phoebe on arthur conan doyle's grave, which is going to stick in my head forever, but. don't make it worse. sometimes he's such a Man)

anyway the weirdos at the lone gunman think it's related to pesticides. and then mulder asks to borrow their night vision goggles and the weirdest of weirdos is like "only if you give me scully's number!"

cutscene to him using the night goggles

(mulder, if you gave that creep her number, i will NEVER forgive you. so keep that in mind)

he's sitting in a field and it looks so natural, like he really belongs there. bring back sitting in fields. but then he breaks into the orchard and gets sprayed by some pesticides and thoroughly knocked on his ass

mulder's yelling at some guy to take responsibility for the pesticides that he thinks are killing people... a moral crusader serving on the front lines...

scully's here now, btw. she took his blood. which had to be a strange experience. and then she mentions that she FLEW 300 MILES in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to come take his blood?

holy shit, mulder. she did that for you and you've been so broody and angsty lately and maybe even gave some dick her phone number. holy shit mulder, do not blow this. you cannot afford to blow this. she is soooo good to you.

anyway, he's seeing the same evil messages in technology the killers were now so that's a bummer

mulder proposes that this is some sort of subliminal messaging thing that is being activated by the fear-inducing pesticides and the cop gets pissed and leaves, to which he says "he's probably one of those people that thinks Elvis is dead"

so that's the SECOND line in this show about him being an elvis truther and i'm starting to think it's not a joke

back to the ex-postman. people are coming to his door to take blood and test for the chemicals in the pesticides and he's going bonkers. he's seeing "KILL" in his calculator, which is how you know things are rough. his watch even beeps and says "KILL" which i think would make a very very very very funny gif if anyone has that.

well, all of a sudden he's missing so the agents go to his house and knock. until.

scully realizes the door is open and just. lets herself in. i was laughing SO hard here. these bitches WILL get into your house. they will NOT wait for an invitation. truly a sign of soulmatism.

ex-postman was running running and they're like omg where is heeeeee he's gonna hurt people!!! scully is once again proving her genius status by saying that if it's a paranoia case, then all these guys in police uniforms need to get out of view.

(there's also this shot where mulder is like. smoldering. and she's behind him and man. height difference content i really really do love you and your work <3)

our crazed ex-postman climbs a tower at a college and is gonna start shooting but he's also hallucinating and laughing maniacally which i described in my notes as "entering his joker era"

mulder runs up and prevents a shootout using some handy jujitsu. neeeeed to see if this man is a black belt. for character driven purposes.

but he says that he knows the guy can't stop and overall it's an eerie situation because you can tell the pesticides are still in his brain as well. and his arm is bleeding again and this makes the other guy go into overdrive.

um. okay.

crisis averted...?

well, you sure would like to think that, wouldn't you? but the episode ends with mulder calling scully, and then HE sees more evil stuff in his phone! and it fades to blackness as her voice is heard through the speaker...

(i love that she knew it was him immediately. despite the silence. and that her train of thought went from "it's scully" to "mulder is it you?" to "mulder, what's wrong?" talk about a connection!)

hope he doesn't do anything too impulsive...

in conclusion: my very surface level interpretation of this episode was that it was warning us to not be controlled by technology, which i'm sure felt more relevant back in the day. but now that i have to click "don't sell my data" when i browse flavors of soup for sale online, i think we might just no longer be the target audience. or maybe it's even more relevant! an argument could be made both ways.

down with pesticides, though! i can get behind that! when's the last time you saw a bee? bring them back!

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

[johnconstantinesdick]

I’m thinking about my Big Three kid swap au (Nico is the prophecy child, Percy is a willow tree, and Thalia is caught in the Lotus Casino) again and specifically Percy is so funny to me. Turns into a tree when he has a found family daughter and almost-boyfriend and wakes up as a a single mother divorcee.

Percy is consistently bringing unhinged domestic spat energy to every confrontation. It’s a full on soap opera. The gods love it. Luke’s troops keep losing respect for him.

Percy kept aging while he was a tree (since we can’t have him join the Hunt) and everyone agrees he’s not the Prophecy Child because he’s fully twenty-something already. So he has no other obligations except conspiring with Annabeth to drag Luke kicking and screaming back home.

Percy keeps referring obliquely to “the divorce” which is very funny but confuses everyone around him. Multiple times he distracts monsters or Titan army demigods by complaining about his “failing marriage” and how “taking care of a kid alone is so hard, you know? I’m not even getting child support!”. Everyone comes out of the conversation sympathetic to the poor guy. Every once in a while Percy adds new lore to see the way Luke’s eye twitches. Luke is not coping well with the judgmental looks, side-eyes, and earnest advice about how to save a marriage. Annabeth keeps getting kidnapped by Luke’s cronies because they very earnestly believe she should get to spend some more time with her other dad.

Every Saturday there’s a truce where all three of them tensely eat cookies in Sally Jackson’s living room. No one has the guts to tell her they’re on opposite sides of a war. Luke tries to turn the tables one (1) time and ask her how she would feel about Percy getting married. Sally’s answer is so heartfelt and genuinely happy that Luke cries alone in his golden sarcophagus later and he never brings it up again. Percy’s smug look goes entirely unnoticed except by Annabeth.