#stop ruining fun things
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Experimentation (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Papyrus#Continuing the theme of memories and what Gaster ruined for them haha#He doesn't even have to be here and he's making their lives harder! Par for the course#Lots of things have the potential to trigger their memories - a familiar smell or a food they recognize#But there were so many things they never experienced and sifting between them is very difficult!#Especially considering most of what they ''remember'' is actually just their Reaction to Something - like the smoke smell making them tense#Sans here getting a Reaction for sure tho - being questioned and experimented on does Not feel good#It's Papyrus doing it so that's one thing but even still - not having fun with this#Papyrus is so curious! He wants to know! He always seems to be a bit left out on finding things out haha#Sans being the more science-minded of the two probably has an impact there - ask your brother he'll help figure it out#Unless he really doesn't want to because it feels weird please stop (lol)#Still tho being asked to eat things as an experiment? ''oh hey bro maybe going to grillby's will remind me of something'' ''SANS'' lol#Papyrus didn't mean anything by continuing to ask questions he's just curious!#Sans goes to write down the results and then feels Even Worse so scribbles them out#''don't tell me what to do!'' directed nowhere in particular#Tries really hard to put it out of him mind A Lot#This remembering business sure is uncomfortable!#Look what you did Gaster you took a perfectly fun data-gathering session and turned it into something they'll need therapy for!
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28/01/2024
stars don't twinkle moon doesn't shine
big thanks to @nahrgles for finishing this for me after i hit a wall with colors bg and effects- chromatic aberration blew my fkn mind
pre edit transparent version under cut because i spent too much time cleaning it loll
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#shadow#sonic adventure 2#sa2#admin draws#fanart#not intended as ship theyre kinda just There but like if ya wanna tag it i aint stopping you#never played sa2 myself but ive been insane about these two for saur long now and thats like half the reason i even finished this#finished sonic generations though and i replayed this fight like three times omgfgghgh its so fun. i love them so much#those who follow my main blog mightve seen the piece by a long deactivated artist that inspired this#queue spat it out just around the time i finished this#sitting down to complete a piece that i dont finish in one sitting is rare let alone 2 (it took 3) and im pretty happy with it#still not ttoooottally happy but you just gotta let mistakes be and not ruin ur perception of a thing thats on the whole. pretty good#ive still got a bg3 wip in the works but i might have to doodle these 2 for sanity rather than sitting down after a long day#of studying infectious diseases for a final. and then making myself work on something ive wrung of most of its initial creative dopamine#MORNING EDIT WOW. THAT TRAILER HUH. 20 YEARS OF SHADOW RETROSPECTIVE HOW WE FEELING.#BC I KNOW IM ON CLOUD NINE NOW
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I am genuinely terrified of what you are capable of ma'am.
I hope that those plans will make us more normal about this story...
.......I hope.
Good day/night
So Normal :)
#kicking my feet and giggling#dang it guys I’m trying to be mysterious over here and keep things a surprise#you’re ruining my mistique#can’t answer some asks I get because it’s like nooooo you’re seeing right into my brain Stop That!!! (affectionate)#fun fact I’m great at keeping other people’s secrets but not my own LOL#‘hey you’re very chatty today’ sorry I’m Procrastinating going to work#what are they going to do? Fire me? LOL#pastel prattling
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2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix - Qualifiying - Fernando Alonso
#half asleep making these istg#yayyyy p9? idk ig i expected him to do better#old man asleep at the wheel whats new 😴#he was very quick w this interview i wonder if he was eager to get to bed#i certainly am rn#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#2023 las vegas gp#(i wish i could atop feeling insecure abt my gifs. i do it for fun.)#(of course i want them to look somewhat good but i get a bit ill over it)#(there was somw drama on here at some point that made me want to completely stop posting then ngl)#(cause like what is the point if im not as good as others ig :/ this is kinda vague posting but it made me so uncomfortable)#(as i said. i do it for fun in quick time bcs yay jsut wanna post smth i found cute)#(but ever sincce that thing happened its just made me extremely self critical and insecure abt posting)#(idk why im saying this. kinda repressing the urge tk be like 'SRY THESE ARE TERRIBLE. YEAH.')#(i need to sleep. but i often feel like this literally every time i post now bcs some people get on their high horse and ruin people's fun)#(iykyk ig. its smth bothering me lately. but i hate to act so morose. but i still feel bad abt the quality sometimes. i guess.)#we do a little bit of f1
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Okay I understand where people are coming from with the "emotional suppression in Vulcans is learned not genetic" talk re: "Charades" but, consider......... the emotional suppression is muscle memory, and the aliens took away the mental muscles that remembered how to do it. It's a crude metaphor on my part, but that was the way I saw it.
Also consider: it's a sci fi show using extremely high-concept bullcrap science on a weekly basis and maybe nitpicking it is a fruitless endeavor because none of it is going to make sense otherwise and enjoying the ride for what it is is a much more enjoyable way to engage with this franchise. Sometimes you need to shrug and let dumb things happen and laugh.
#i am so sick of whatching people find itty bitty things to pick SNW apart over#I'm trying really hard not to get internet preachy about it because everyone it entitled to their own opinions#but some people really beed to calm down and stop taking everything so seriously#Star Trek has NEVER had completely accurate science#or consistent rules within it's own universe#I mean look at Threshold#that is 1000% Not How Evolution Works#like at all#but we all laugh it off and throw a party about it every year#or how about the fact that Miles O Brien was a Leiutenant#and then he was suddenly an enlisted man#I could go on#but the point is that if you get caught up in the trees you'll miss the forest#and also a bundle of laughs because that was a very funny episode#was it perfect? of course not#but I am not gonna let the flaws ruin the whole thing for me#I had fun and laughed and smiled and that's all that really matters in my book#Strange New Worlds#snw spoilers#I'm really hesitant to tag this because I don't want people coming for my head lol#but alas I need to make sure people who haven't watched the episode can block spoilers
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new theory on what The Boundary is: the doctor's body just does that
#been reading pasteur abt............spontaneous regeneration#and been thinking abt communication#in the way of wormholes#listened to this philosophy podcast a while ago where they were discussing how the universe couldve come from nothing#and the host jokingly suggested that what makes a universe spring from nothing is maybe not an attribute of that which universes come from#the void or........whatever#but instead an attribute of /universes themselves/#in other words things /can/ come from nothing. but the only thing you'll get is a universe#only universes can come from nothing#he didnt believe in his own suggestion but i havent stopped thinking abt it#and idk enough abt philosophy or science or cosmogony to ruin this really fun concept for me
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sorry for only posting lisa it will happen again
#isat#in stars and time#isat isabeau#i need to write wolves standing so i can give context 4 this. this is so sad#anyways!#dear lisa;#just kidding you get context now. me when desire to tear ones heart out to make it stop#he gets a new shirt eventually. but this one is ruined now#i love x loops aus so much theyre fun 2 play with. i hope u all enjoy lisa as much as i do ive been having fun trying things others havent#because i realized in the middle of making this post: i have also bestowed upon him aggressive scratching 👍#that is all. good 10 pm#torn fabric / OTiF
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Archive-locking the fics that YOU WROTE and are thus 100% yours to decide what to do with 'hurting people' is so silly tbh. Skill issue on their part. Wish those people could be normal about the amazing fics that writers like you put out & be understanding or at the very least respectful of the choices that writers make about how and where they make their fics available. Especially in light of recent ai training theft and nonsense & all that.
I hope this doesn't sour the fic writing & sharing experience for you too much. I love your writing & think you're very talented & skilled!
There seem to be dual attitudes I'm coming up against recently (and obviously these are not held by everyone, I don't even know that they are held by a majority, but they are certainly held by a plurality).
The first is that authors should be grateful that readers deign to read what they put out there. I think this stems from the "content creation" mentality and the idea that everyone who posts things wants as massive as an audience as possible (for monetization purposes which... isn't a thing in fanfic). I think this mindset also leads to readers demanding that people write specific tropes/pairings/whatever, or threatening basically to take their business elsewhere. "Nobody will read unless you do [X]." 1. Not true and 2. Okay, you weren't my audience.
(I also think authors circulating those posts about how badly they want comments/kudos feeds this mentality of readers doing authors a favor by even clicking on the fic. "Wow, if people are so desperate for attention, then mine must be worth an awful lot!")
Fanfic ain't a business, and I write for myself. Readers choosing to read my work isn't a privilege or an honor they are bestowing upon me (nor are comments for that matter), just as me posting my writing where they can see it isn't a privilege or an honor for them. We are both engaging in hobbies and a love of some media, and sometimes we will overlap and connect and sometimes we won't. Readers aren't reading out of altruism for attention-starved authors, and authors aren't writing out of altruism for content-hungry readers.
And there are those who will read these paragraphs above and think to themselves "wow, what an ungrateful author," and that's exactly the attitude I'm talking about. Don't get me wrong, it's delightful and rewarding to receive comments on fics and chat with people about Blorbo and the Situations. But it should be delightful from both sides of the exchange, or why the hell are we doing this? If I'm meant to be grateful for every commenter who jumps into my inbox, then every commenter in my inbox better be grateful for me, and I can tell you right now there is a population who is not. There is a population who sees me as a service provider for their entertainment, and whatever form I take in their brain, it is not shaped like a full person.
This attitude also leads to people thinking that things like lorefm are no big deal. Don't I want to get my work in front of more eyeballs (or ears)? Don't I want to broaden my audience? And once I put my work out there for readers to see, should I be shocked (or express any negative emotions at all) when someone plagiarizes/scrapes it for AI/demands updates rudely/reads it on a monetized youtube channel/binds it and sells it for profit?
The other idea I've been coming up against is almost the opposite of this--that because some readers form attachments to fic, deleting that fic (or even archive-locking it!) is actively harming those readers. Sure, they can't be bothered to hit the download button or get an AO3 account, but that's no reason not to think of these strangers first before doing what I want with my creative output.
Yall, life is ephemeral. There are things we will see and enjoy and never find again for one reason or another, and it's not harm being done to us, it's just the nature of existence. Having an emotional reaction to something does not give you any sort of ownership over that thing. Artists are allowed to change their minds about whether they want that art in the wild, particularly given that it's free. Maybe it's because I utilize the library a lot, but reading a book and then losing access to that book is not a crime against you, it's just a normal thing that happens. If you read something and it means that much to you, there are ways to avoid losing it (download it).
Seeing this particular attitude extend out to "not making your fic available for as many people to read as possible is harming them" is beyond bizarre. If I woke up tomorrow and deleted everything I have ever written, there would still be thousands upon thousands upon thousands of beautiful, emotional, meaningful fics out there for people to read. They would lack for nothing. Would some people be upset? Probably. Would I be hurting them? No, not really.
Sometimes people have negative emotions because of our actions, but that doesn't mean we did anything to them. This is one of those times.
Lastly, this AI and everything else bullshit really has taken a toll on my enthusiasm for posting my work. It's one thing for companies to try to pillage every thought, every word, every stroke of a pen or paintbrush to enrich themselves while actively making the planet an unbearable and inhospitable place to live, it's another when fellow fans are telling you that "Whelp that's just life, what did you expect, give us your content anyway or you're a bad person and if you complain, then I'll be taking my business elsewhere, you sensitive, entitled creative, lol."
#because here's the thing#it just stops being fun#and fun is the reason I (and hopefully all of us) started writing in the first place#if I wanted to cater to people whose tastes aren't mine#I would be trying to woo the taylor swift fans who control the publishing industry#and don't get me wrong the people on AO3 who interact with my stuff rule#Particularly patrochilles fans like that group of people has given me the best writing experience of anyone#and I don't want to let some idiotic exchanges ruin the joy I get from writing#but it feels like it's coming from all sides this year#I do think everyone would benefit if we all remembered that author-reader interactions are just two strangers attempting to communicate#sometimes good sometimes awkward sometimes wires get crossed sometimes cultures clash most often it's just small talk
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Prompt 1 (slash 3?) for @.icryink's Cringetober 2024 list! I probably won't post most of the drawings I do, but I will post as many as my anxiety lets me post Prompt 1 was "screenshot redraw" so I drew X and Cleo's pride mcc skins! I'll link the post where I found the original screenshot, as well as the post to the prompt list (probably not the best way to do that but I don't actually know what I'm doing on this site.)
The MCC Pride screenshot source:
or [link].
The Cringetober list:
or [link].
Post pointing out that the patch on X's jacket looks a bit like the lesbian flag, which is why I drew it like that:
or [link].
#cringetober 2024#my art#hermitcraft#maybe? hermitcraft members..?#sorry if linking is weird or bad ive actually never been on the internet before in my life ive never seen a computer or a “tumblr”#i am fully overthinking this i know. what are tags for if not to overexplain how im overthinking this.#anyway october drawing lists my beloved#cringetober my beloved too school ruined my fun last year but this year the only thing stopping me is myself
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m27 spoilers
ngl i ship kaishin both romanticly and platonically. they are absolutely hilarious together and would be a menace to society either way. and i love that for them. did i always think that it would be hilarious if they were cousins? yes am i surprised that they are cousins? no am i disappointed in how they went about it? yes. am i surprised? no
detco has been running way too long. if it was like doremon or shin-chan it would make sense to keep it going for so long but it's not. I have been thinking for a while that gosho is gonna ruin it by stretching it out so much. hell, he already has at so many points. Detco has many plot holes. the timeline itself is a Jupiter-sized plot hole. I am guessing they are at this point trying to close some of the plot points and hence the "Kaishin are cousins". like that man is trying to make us believe he had everything planned out from the beginning and trying to tie a neat little bow on everything. which is a big fat lie. he is ruining some of the better parts of his own writing. (kudos and kurobas, the rivalry. frenemies) I know most at least half of us were aware that Kaishin could very well be cousins. it's not like 100% outta the left field. maybe like 80%. there were a few vague hints over the last few years that could go either way. not to mention gosho's tendency over incest couples. but we all ignored that cuz its been 3 decades. like come on dude. Gosho has been hovering over the fence over kaishin over the last few years (pretty sure that's when he thought about it). he couldn't make a decision and now they are shoving it down our throat. so much poor planning. smh.
people losing it over them being cousins in kinda fun
and if you hate kaishin, that's your prerogative but please don't make others feel bad about it.
#f gosho's poor planing#the only good thing is that there might be more platonic kaishin fics now#i always thought we could use more#kaishin cousins has lots of crack potential#detco#m27 spoilers#kaishin#dcmk#gosho get to the fking point of the story already#stop ruining it for everyone#yes the fillers can be fun but you are ruining it
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I have been working my way through sweet tooth for the first time and oogf the ending to s2e6 is BRUTAL. I knew it was suspicious that everything was going so well only 3/4 of the way through the season but man... That's such a good twist
#YEAH OF COURSE ONE OF OUR MAIN CHARACTERS WAS GONNA CATCH THE VIRUS THAT HAS ALREADY WIPED OUT 98% OF HUMANITY. OF COURSE#the sick is such a good complicating factor#like. this is an objectively bad thing. this is an awful destructive world altering thing that has ruined countless lives.#and the only way to stop it is to kill innocent marginalized children.#and of COURSE THE CHARACTER WHO'D END UP CATCHING IT IS THE ONE WHO'D DEDICATED THE LAST DECADE TO PROTECTING SED MARGINALIZED CHILDREN#good show. I'm having a fun time#sweet tooth#sweet tooth netflix#bird babbles
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"i dont care if people who havent read the books get spoiled for the show" <- words of a person i now want to bite and yell at
#BE FUCKING NICE#A LOT OF THEM ARE CHILDREN??? THEY EITHER HAVENT GOTTEN AROUND TO READING THE BOOKS BECAUSE THEY DIDNT HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO YET#OR#ADDITIONALLY IT IS 2023. THE WORLD IS DIFFERENT AND MEDIA IS BEING ADAPTED FOR NEW GENERATIONS#TRY HOLDING SOME WONDER AND JOY IN YOUR HEART AND THINK ABOUT HOWW FUN IT IS TO EXPERIENCE A STORY FOR THE FIRST TIME#STOP SPOILING SHIT ON PURPOSE IT MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT CRIMES❤️#literally dont be a spiteful dick and stop ruining things for fun or because you want to gatekeep and have a superiority complex#fuck uou i would personally give ANYTHING to get to experience this story for the first time again#and watching people ruin in in real time for people experiencing it for the firdt time. i hate you#ypure all extremely selfish and shortsighted for doing this whole 'yeah but the books have been out for forever.. :/' bs#absolutely giving yourself away as a fucking clown with no ability to gain anything positive from shared joy. get well soon#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#pjo show#percy jackson show#pjo tv show#eeanpost#ALSO THE FUCKING AUDACITY FOR THE FANBASE OF A BOOK SERIES ABOUT KIDS STRUGGLING WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES TO YELL AT PEOPLE FOR NOTREADING#DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YPURSELVES ???? WHAT THE FUCK??? THE STORY IS MORE ACCESSIBLE NOW. THAT IS A GOOD THING. HTJSJJTJFJG
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Hold on something's just hit me.
If everyone in the Plex were to believe that Gregory dropped Cassie at the end of Ruin to keep himself from being found, whether he did it or not, wouldn't that make Roxy to one most able to understand him?
As Mimic's guard dog, surely she would know the lengths you have to go through to keep that fucker trapped. A whole team of Raceway construction workers went straight to their deaths down there. Roxy won't let the Raceway be repaired and re-opened in order to keep people safe. She's probably been able to see Mimic and its victims through the floor this entire time, she knows what it can do and what it's done, even if she doesn't know the full extent of it.
She's willing to sacrifice her Raceway and Salon to keep people from finding Mimic. Her pride and joys, basically her whole reason for being built in the first place. They're not worth the risk to her.
Whether Gregory sacrificed Cassie to keep Mimic trapped or not, surely Roxy would realise some sort of similarity. She may think doing that to Cassie was too far, she may think he's a monster for even considering it and she may feel as though nothing could justify what he did... But there's a part of her that gets it. The absolute terror that comes at the slightest possibility that Mimic could escape. She gets that sacrifices have to made, fuck she's made those sacrifices herself. She would never have sacrificed someone for this, that's why she ran headfirst at Mimic instead of just sealing the exits again, but there could be that tiny little part of her that feels the need to constantly to remind her that Gregory was trying to do the same thing she was.
The key difference here, is that if Gregory had done it, it would fall in line with almost everything else we've seen him do. The sacrifices he makes, are of other people, and not himself. He sacrificed Roxy, Chica and Monty to upgrade Freddy for his safety and possibly the safety of Vanessa. If he also dropped Cassie, then he's once again sacrificing someone else for the sake of his own safety. Not like he has that much else to lose, but I'm drawing comparisons here.
Roxy on the other hand, sacrifices herself. She sacrificed her Raceway and her Salon for the benefit of both herself and others. Unlike Gregory finding himself in a hopeless situation and hurting others to get out of it, Roxy was given this job (probably) and chose to give up what little she has in the world to keep the situation from happening. Even when Cassie deactivates her and ends up face to face with Mimic, Roxy jumps straight at it to buy her time to escape which could have easily killed her.
So now you have Roxy, who unfortunately does understand Gregory's choice to drop Cassie (if she believes he did it which yeah she probably does) but has absolutely no sympathy for him. She couldn't care less about him. There's potentially a fearful little voice in her head that she's the same as Gregory that fuels her anger towards him even more. She hasn't ever sacrificed someone else to keep the Mimic at bay and she's been doing it for fuck knows how long, what gives Gregory a free pass? Maybe if he hadn't stolen her fucking eyes she would have been able to stop the whole thing from getting that far anyway!
I'm not saying this to frame Gregory as a villain or anything. I don't think he dropped Cassie and I still think it was entirely Freddy's fault for what happened to the others in SB. I just think this is interesting from a character stand point. The one person that could understand the choices they've made to keep Mimic from escaping is each other, but they're both too hateful of each other for it to affect anything... If they were ever to settle their differences, I think it would have to start here. The only common ground they share, is the one thing no one else does.
But Gregory didn't even fucking do it so I bet that goes well lmao
#fnaf security breach#roxanne wolf#fnaf gregory#fnaf ruin dlc#I'm just thinking here#if Gregory DID do it that would be a fun direction to take this#Roxy so fiercly protective of Cassie and so angry and hurt by Gregory but god fucking damn it she GETS it and she's MAD about it#if he didn't then like. she won't believe him anyway#can you IMAGINE that though??#roxy and gregory end up talking somehow. it's angry its painful and it blows up#they're both crying they were both on the same side that whole time and had just gone about it differently but so similarly#and fucking HELL they both get it.#Mimic scared the shit out of BOTH of them and they were both willing to do whatever it took to stop it#Cassie was Gregory's FRIEND and he felt he had no choice. she was all he had to give whether he liked it or not#Roxy had more to give but her attraction is her life. She was built for the Raceway everything about her and her identity ties back to that#and she felt she had no choice either.#in a way I suppose they both gave their hearts to Mimic. the things that make them who they are were the only things that would do#Gregory's closest and possibly ONLY friend. the only true connection he still has in the outside world.#and Roxy's entire life's purpose as the Pizzaplex's resident racer and hairstylist. the identity she was born into was too risky to keep.#they destroyed huge parts of themselves with their own two hands for the greater good and they did it alone.#what else could they have done?#if they ever came to an understanding about this they wouldn't be able to tell anyone#how can Roxy emphasise with Cassie's would be murderer?#how can Gregory emphasise with someone that would be Freddy's murderer if she didn't think it'd upset Cassie?#I don't think either would sympathise with each other... but I don't think they'd need to#someone else that gets it even a little bit is probably all they want#they stil hate each other after all! they just understand each other more than they might be comfortable with#anyway I'm fucking shattered goodnight lads
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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apologizing in advance for the person i will become when the next pjo show season comes out
#and the one after that etc#IM GOING TO BE SO NORMAL OK. ill be the normalest guy ever. nobodys gonna be more normal than me about this#iv. eive. been reading the pjo books (first time actually) and. I care them all so mcuh. the books ever#so so many things i cant wait to see in the show. ive been imagining how some stuff could be translated into the show as i read#im so excited ougfhhh i love these books. life changing reads and im not even really halfway done with them#i just started the third one today actually :mindblown:#i sat down just to read the first few pages before i go to sleep. and erm. i ended up sitting there reading the first ~60 pages for over#-an hour instead. Its so good man the only reason i stopped reading is bc if i dont go to sleep now ill pass out lmao#anygays i love pjo forever and ever and when the next seasons come out im going to be insufferable (/pos)#Also i feel like im always saying this but#im not actually apologizing like i said in the post. im not sorry for shit!! im having a good time#cam.txt#side note omfg i wish i didnt get so much of pjo spoiled its ruining my fun. everything couldve been so much more enjoyable#its my fault im always spoiling media for myself just bc of my insatiable need to know everything Smh. im my own worst party pooper.#a killjoy but not in the cool mcr “killjoys make some noise” way 😞😞 big ol spoilsport right here
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should i sleep for a hundred million years or purposefully stop sleeping just to see what happens
#i have slept 2 hours and haven’t been able to fall asleep again for like 3 hours and i was really tired and mad abt it but now i am not#tired and not mad abt it so maybe the path i should be taking is to stop sleeping. sleeping a lot gives me little energy and i’ve been#having trouble sleeping anyway so maybe i should use this to my advantage and run my little sleep deprivation experiment that i was#originally planning to do a couple years back but then got sooo eepy sleepy that i didn’t really get far. but maybe that’s bc i wanted to#go 72 hours straight w/o sleep so i could record my response to it. i should be more subtle i think. maybe only a few hours a night#and more 30 hour waking periods. do not listen to a single thing i say ever i’m an unreliable narrator btw. i think i could trigger smth#fun to happen i:m a good age for sleep deprivation to do something fun and interesting to me and i want to play god#but i’d get kinda sad being awake all the time bc sleeping is like my number one coping mechanism. then again the pain of losing#that on top of the physical and mental consequences of sleep deprivation would be like so cool. it would pain me so much#but i find that compelling. do not listen to a single word i say i will realize this is dumb later but rn i do kinda want to think abt#running my little experiments and trying to ruin myself further. i’m such a good thing to think abt experimenting on bc i’m so affected#by things i just wish i had more force of will Does anyone want to kidnap me and keep me awake for 72 hours (i’m thinking electrocution#will be involved) and keep notes i fear i’d give up and i wouldn’t keep good enough track of things which would be so sad#obvi it would be unethical but i’m cool w that. i would also want it all on camera for review purposes. hmm i’m digging this idea. 72 hours#is not very long and i doubt there would be lasting consequences so it seems like a good idea. however i’d want to do this when i have#things to keep me busy and restricted access to places to sleep. okay i must think on this further pay no mind to what i say unless u have#suggestions like how to keep yourself from giving in bc i always have difficulty w that one
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