#he didnt believe in his own suggestion but i havent stopped thinking abt it

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

new theory on what The Boundary is: the doctor's body just does that

[wannasoftimagine]

imagine park woojin as your classmate

project partners to dating partners :’)

(( AS REQUESTED // omg since ure a woojin stan can i get a request where y/n and woojin study in the same course after his wanna one activities (before he debuts in brand new music) and got closer after a project andddd you can write whatever after that LMAO :^) THANK YOU ))

okay so ure a fan of wanna one

who isnt tbh

and lucky u bc it turns out tht ure going to college w the one and only park woojin!!!!!!! (srsly tho what r the chances)

u forgot tht woojins age is kinda similar to urs bc he always acts like a tough guy on stage or a little kid off stage and u forget that hes a student like u

anyways

its a little weird to get used to seeing him in person after all the pictures n videos uve seen of him online

like?? hes a Real Person??? what a wild idea

and even tho ure both in the same college course, u try to keep ur distance

as much as ud like to befriend him, hes still an idol (even tho he hasnt debuted w brand new yet) and its rlly hard for u to start up a conversation w someone famous

also ure lowkey worried tht its going to ruin how much u admire him, and that actually talking to him will destroy how highly u view him

little do u kno hes seen u around campus before n thinks ure pretty cute

;))

okay but anyways

u make sure to stay out of his way bc the last thing u want is to bother him by asking for a signature or picture or smthn

u try and keep a minimum of like 10 yds between u at all times

(bc itd be even more embarrassing if u tripped right in front of him and that was the first thing he noticed abt u)

but lucky for u, life doesnt care what u have planned

bc its only a month into the semester and u already have a huge project assigned

of course, it’s a partner project

it might be okay if u were able to choose ur partners, but ur teacher insisted on trying to help everyone “bond w their classmates” so its all completely random

unfortunately for u, u get sick the day that ur teacher assigns partners

so u have no idea who ure paired up with

ure stuck asking some of ur classmates, but none of them rlly remember

everyone was a bit busy stressing out over their own partners tbh

and u keep asking around a bit, but u only know so many ppl in the class so eventually u kinda give up and hope ur partner isnt too bad

u settle on focusing on ur other classes, studying for future exams and reviewing ur notes in the library

even tho ure not sick anymore, u still feel a bit drowsy from all of the different medications u took and all of the work u were trying to catch up on

so. all excuses aside u fall asleep

prob not the best plan esp since some of ur things are balancing on the edge of ur desk

but the heart wants what the heart wants, and it rlly wants to sleep

ure having a rlly weird dream abt pirate monkeys when ure jolted awake by someone bumping into ur side

u look up to see someone sprinting away from u and like okay. thts a little weird

u try not to think abt it too much bc ure still kinda sleepy

so u settle on gathering ur things so u can head back to ur dorm and decide whether or not u want to study, sleep more, or find something to eat

as u collect everything, u notice a little post it note that hadnt been there before

in messy handwriting, it says “i didnt want to wake u but im ur partner for the partner project. im woojin and u can text me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx] whenever u want to meet up i hope u sleep well”

u realize that ur partner is prob the one u saw sprinting away from u earlier after he accidentally bumped into u lol

somehow u momentarily forget that ur partner is THE park woojin and ure like aw cool this woojin guy seems nice

then ure like WAIT A SECOND

ure highkey in shock and keep pinching urself to make sure its real

so u end up taking the rest of ur stuff back to ur room and wondering how u should text him

eventually u decide on a simple greeting and ur name, and u ask him when hes free

u have to send the text and then throw ur phone onto the floor bc U JUST TEXTED PARK WOOJIN ABT MEETING IN PERSON. GOD BLESS

ure suddenly super grateful abt every decision tht led u to this moment

anyways

ur phone buzzes on the floor so u scramble to pick it up

only to realize tht its a text from ur mom asking how ure doing

u text her back and tell her not to worry, then attempt to clean ur room a little instead of waiting for woojin to text u back

u just finish reorganizing ur closet when he texts u

its a quick text, smthn along the lines of “im free tmrw afternoon, do u want to meet by the cafeteria” so u agree quickly and hope u dont seem too desperate

and u KNOW its not a date

u guys havent even spoken to each other before so???

but ure still rlly nervous bc its WOOJIN and u want to impress him, even if ure just going to spend most of ur time talking abt boring coursework

u both settle on a time to meet and u pretend not to freak out

anyways skip to the next afternoon

u get there a bit early but ?? hes there already ??? ldsjks

and he looks Really Cute like hes wearing a sweater and ripped jeans and looking like complete boyfriend material wow ure p sure u can feel ur heart stop in ur chest

hes a bit awkward but uve heard abt how shy he is so u try not to take it personally

as soon as he sees u he blurts out tht u look nice and that is not helping the way tht this feels like a date

u guys end up moving to a bench in the shade bc its rlly nice out and this way ure able to talk freely without worrying abt being too loud

he explains the project a little, and u guys go back and forth offering up ideas

he always nods super enthusiastically whenever u suggest smthn and its honestly the cutest thing uve ever seen

its so weird for u to remember that this is the same guy uve seen videos of online bc what the heck

anyways

neither of u are extreme geniuses in the class, but ure both still pretty smart

ure pleased to find tht u guys complement each other well, w different areas of interest inside the same field

it helps ur project run a lot smoother than u thought it would, so u guys split up the work and agree to do as much as u can before u meet up again

ur conversations are still a bit stilted bc ure both still shy w each other, but overall u seem to get along well so ure happy

u text each other every once in awhile to talk abt the project or ask questions

u meet up a few more times in the next couple weeks but its all work and no business

still, over time u find urselves joking around with each other a little more, teasing each other and talking abt urselves instead of the project

of course, all things must come to an end

so all too soon, the day u submit the final project arrives

and ure a little worried tht woojin is going to disappear from ur life again

bc maybe he’s only been this nice to u bc hes just a sweet guy, but as soon as the project ends he wont care abt talking to u anymore

after all, its not like u guys meet up for meals or to hang out that often - even when ure just relaxing w each other, theres always some part of ur convo tht centers around the class

so as ure freaking out over this

he texts u asking if u want to come over to his dorm while he submits it

and mb u guys can just hang out afterwards?

obviously u agree and u cant stop smiling

when u show up at his dorm, hes wearing sweatpants and a tshirt and he looks adorable as heck when he invites u in

u guys sit on his bed as he loads all the stuff on his laptop and u try not to be hyperaware of the space between u two

woojins also screaming internally but somehow u dont notice the way he keeps staring at u out of the corner of his eye

u click the “submit” button together and HIS HANDS ARE SO GENTLE also theyre shaking a little???? huh

u assume its just bc hes Extra Nervous for the project but honestly? no hes just never been this close to u and hes freaking out

but anyways

u decide to go out to eat off campus afterwards to celebrate being done

a lot of the places have long waits or are too expensive so u just eat at a chikfila

its rlly casual but its fun and u guys argue abt whether chicken nuggets or chicken sandwiches r better and u cant help but think abt how much fun ure having w hiim

u end up blurting it out to him on accident and ure v v embarrassed

but he laughs and admits tht he rlly likes spending time w u too

so u promise each other to keep hanging out afterwards

it gets to the point where weeks later, ure still texting each other to complain abt classes or ask abt the other persons day

it still feels like a dream tbh

but u guys enjoy each others company whenever u can

most of the time u end up meeting each other at the cafeteria or studying together in the library, but u both just rlly like spending time w the other person

this routine continues for awhile and its prob the best part of ur life

but at one point ure trying to sneak up on woojin and surprise him when u see him talking to himself

as u creep forward, u realize tht hes actually on the phone, and he looks kinda stressed

it feels a bit invasive so ure looking around trying to find a place to go while he finishes up his phone call

but then u hear him say ur name so. consider u INTERESTED

and he keeps getting flustered and shutting down anything tht the other person says which is weird bc hes p shy, but hes never usually tht adamant and blushy abt something

eventually he tucks his phone away and lets out a Huge sigh so ure like,, hey u good

and he laughs it off but u can tell hes a little antsy, so u decide to tell him tht u overheard a little bit of him on the phone, and u ask him what it was about

he literally turns into a tomato its so funny u wish u had recorded it

but hes like “HOW MUCH DID U HEAR”

even tho u tell him u didnt hear much, he refuses to believe u and he spends the next few minutes pouting

u keep trying to get him to talk to u normally, but he refuses

finally he ends up grumbling smthn and ure like ???

and after a few half hearted efforts to repeat himself hes like “just tell me u dont like me back”

and. WHAT.

he pouts again and its so sos sosososoos o so cute u think ure going to combust honestly

“i kno u heard me tell him tht i like u!!!! just tell me u dont feel the same and leave me alone to cry”

and u have to reassure him tht u definitely didnt hear that BUT ALSO what???

n hes literally mortified when he realizes ure serious

but he has this rlly cute determined expression like “ok well now u kno i like u!!!!! y/n, please go out w me???”

n its like OF COURSE and u tell him tht u like him too and he keeps smiling and acting shy

honestly u both just make each other super happy

when u start dating, its not too diff from when u were friends, except now ure more affectionate w each other

both physically and with ur words

he loves hyping u up, and u feel the same

esp when he starts practicing more to debut w the rest of the bnm boys

u support the heck out of each other and can always count on the other person to be there for u when u need it the most

honestly its super soft and ure totally proud to be a lowkey campus couple even tho u have to keep ur relationship on the down low bc of dispatch

still u both care for each other a lot and u wouldnt trade what u have for the world

[katedoesntexist]

Stay-at-home journal 9/1/20

Yesterday:

Worked

Called mom

Chilled out and watched yt

Today:

Work

Shower

Games?

Free space:

Cant believe its already september. Time is an illusion or something or other.

I havent felt like working on my fic since i saw someone post complaining abt writing that does a thing i do. They werent talking abt me specifically (i dont think) but it rly sapped the fun out of it and now i kind of am like jeez why even put in all this effort. Now i cant write without that persons words hanging over me, and i will probably think of their criticism anytime i write. So thanks a lot for that. Usually their posts are advice/suggestions, but this one was like "ugh dont do this its so bad and unrealistic" and it hurt my feelings bc i respect their thoughts on this stuff. I know i shouldnt let it get to me (espec when its a writing habit almost everyone does so like who cares), but im already 99% unmotivated to write, so i guess there goes the last 1% i had. I just rly hate that i will ALWAYS hear their words every time i write or read this common thing that honestly is not bad writing. :(

I think im kinda stressed out by work bc im on a project that is new territory, the one person who knows anything is very new at leadership and is struggling to keep up w the demands and also do his own work. But if im blocked and need help, i cant just not reach out. Anyway, if i was more than 50% allocation id be making more headway. The lack of progress is rly making me feel like a failure.

Another dream. Lots of stuff i dont remember well (riding in a gyroscope thing at an arcade, ppl pulling a bunch of ganz stuffed animals off the shelves, law and order ep where jerry orbachs character almost got his partner shot in a parking garage) but at some point i dreamt i was w someone i work w (i think) and also my aunt and uncle. We were driving and they had a bottle of wine, and the guy from.work kept drinking it even tho he was the one driving. Eventually i got him to stop, but he was too drunk so i forced him out of the drivers seat and i took over. He was acting all butt hurt abt it. At some point he dream-morphed into my cousin and when we got to my house it turned out she had thrown my pound puppies out the window. I turned on her. I told her i had never done anything as low as that, that i didnt make fun of her for her own stuffed animals, that i didnt say anything when she lost her dad when we were younger, but if anything happened to my pound puppies i would hurt her. She said she threw them out behind the barn at her house in the mud, so even she didnt stoop so low to do it on the highway where i might never recover them. I tried to get over there but i couldnt drive anymore and had to walk, but also had to carry a heavy bag for some reason. I started off one way and after some time had gotten turned around bc i ended up back on the street where i live. I think only a little more happened from there, then i woke up. My dogs are w me here in bed. Everything is okay.