#stop being funnier than me on my own posts
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smiisevenwhyplus · 3 days ago
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YOU
YOU GET IT
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cannot believe he now has this gimmick phone
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daredevils-advocate · 4 months ago
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✨Good timezone everyone!✨
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queer-coded-tourney · 1 year ago
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keep thinking about does bruno mars is gay
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myshredda · 2 years ago
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btw this is like the funniest review i’ve ever gotten on one of my works because it’s so REAL. Half of the horror of DHMIS comes from the fact that they’re brits
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onawhimsicot · 1 year ago
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I've started compiling my favorite tags on my video since there were some particularly funny ones today that I didn't want to get lost in the notifications loll maybe at a certain point, ill make a collage and post it on here
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marwhoa · 1 year ago
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request: You write the turtles boys so well! I literally can't stop smiling when I read your fics - they're so sweet and endearing. I was wondering, only if it strikes your interest of course, if you'd consider writing about the boys being jealous of each other when the reader spends time with them one on one? Like, maybe a slot for Leo where he thinks reader finds Donnie funnier? Or one for mikey, where he thinks that reader likes how big raph is? Or for raph, where he thinks reader is more enamored with Leo? Or Donnie, where he worries that Mikey is flirting with reader? Of course they're all misunderstandings, and maybe it could end all fluffy with confessions and comforting their respective boy? If not, don't worry, but if so, thank you! 1 look forward to whatever you put out next.
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🝮 “ green with envy ”
rise!boys x y/n
author’s note: screaming profusely !!! eeeee !!! So hey yeah here’s a fic, this took a while because it sat in my notes for days before I finally posted it, my bad. This was kinda hard cause I’m not experienced in the realm of jealousy—hopefully y’all like it? ᗡ: also does envy even fit this scenario? Lmao I just be naming these fics any thing, can y’all tell?
word count: 6.1k
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┆ ── ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ — Leo 💌
Leo never expected he could ever become… jealous, not him—no, no, NEVER him. He had too much pride, too much confidence. There should have never been any room for doubt in his ability to keep you focused and adoring on him, and him alone.
But, perhaps he had given himself too much credit? Or, maybe he had given his twin too little credit.
It wasn’t as though you were his. Just friends, and technically that meant you belonged to the whole family, not just him. But, no one could blame him for coveting you. From how starry-eyed you looked at him to how genuinely you laughed at his jokes, Leo found out too late that he had been falling for you, and here he was still falling. The way your nose crinkled when you laughed, or how your face lit up during Mikey’s dinner times, even down to the wheezing laugh you would give into if he pushed his jokes on too long, all of it spelled out lovely disaster for his heart.
But, fear not, he thought. He was the face man and the funniest turtle, surely there was no competition? No one could be better than him at getting you to make the faces you did.
Or well, it should’ve been no one. He wasn’t even all that funny, but Donnie managed to get you to keel over to some stuff he said—and he didn’t even intend for them to be jokes! A natural comic, can you believe the nerve of this guy?
So, yeah, Leo never expected himself to be jealous, and especially never towards his own brother, but god the way you were showing that tickled-silly expression to Donnie, wiping tears as he confusedly asked what was so funny? It had him gripping the arm of their couch, digging his nails into them. He wasn’t going to take this any longer! Sure Donnie meant no harm and would never try to swoop in and steal the prize he had his eye on, but Leo couldn’t help but still be… aggravated.
The pent-up annoyance was dispelled by the red-slider leaping over the couch, sassily walking over and snaking his arm across your waist.
“ Yeah, whatever, Donnie is sooo funny, but hey, Y/N, let me show you something better! ”
Never mind the fact that he had nothing planned as he twirled his katana in his other hand, slicing the air until a blue portal shimmered into existence. You glanced back and waved good bye to Donnie, fully intrigued by whatever it was Leo wanted to show you.
“ Oh—okay! What is it? ”
“ Who am I to ruin a surprise? ”
He cocked a brow at your question, tugging you through the portal and stepping out into the courtyard of the Witch’s city. While amazed, you wondered just what this had to do with anything—but, of course that was a comment you would keep to yourself until having fully exhausted the excitement of exploring not just any random town, but rather a town of witches!
“ Oh, Leo, finally! I’ve been begging you to bring me here for weeks! ”
Before he could even say anything, you were quickly rushing up to the nearest shop and sparking up conversation. Such a busy bee, but it was just another aspect of you he was captivated by. However, with such an impromptu visit to a rather overwhelming area, he found chances to spark conversation and get you to laugh to be stretched few and far between.
“ Oh wow, this store really doesn’t leave mushroom for walk-through, huh? ”
He gestured to a potions-ingredients shop, which, you guessed it, specialized in all things fungal-based. His shoulders drooped as you continued ahead, not even hearing him. That joke was gold! Huffing, Leo caught up with you and laced his fingers around your wrist, effortlessly stopping you in your tracks.
“ Mm? Leo? ”
You stared up at him with such a look of focus, all your attention finally fully on him, and he had to fight his legs not to reduce to jelly instantly. Instead, he took a deep breath, cocked his head, and insisted you follow him.
Down weaving alleys, through crowds of people, eventually you reached a park unlike any seen on the surface. The paths were lined with thick, luscious plants cultivated through the town’s magic. Foliage swayed with no wind, as though dancing like silk fabric to whatever music only they heard.
Your attention only left the plants when you heard Leo start clearing his throat and then flashing you a look that you recognized all too well. A grin was already tugging at your lips, and Leo finally felt like he was the only one in your world again. His hands held onto his belt and he kicked out his legs, faking as though he were tipping a hat. It seemed like some western cowboy impersonation?
“ What in carnation? ”
There you went, first with a light and short laugh.
“ Well I do say, I took a leaf of faith bringing you here,”
Which then melded into a series, topped with a “ Wait, Leo, hush—please! ”, all stuttered and peppered through your increasing laughter.
“—but, beleaf it or not—“
He wasn’t even able to finish the entire spiel before you were holding onto him, laughing with such a melodious voice. Which, of course, devolved into your trademark wheeze n’snort after dragging on too long.
“ Pwffhaaha!! Leo, wha-what’s with you today? ”
You wiped away a tear, and suddenly Leo was finally brought back to reality. Your hand on his forearm lingered, and he was just completely beside himself with how the glowing willows beside the garden softened your face ever-so-perfectly.
“ Y/N… ”
His voice was so uncharacteristically soft that it had you a tad bit spooked, hand gripping a teensy tighter. Your head cocked slightly in confusion.
“ I.. Ugh, okay, it’s—it’s dumb! But—“
He dragged his hands down his face, groaning exhaustedly.
“ I thought, maybe, you might’ve… Liked Donnie, more than me. ”
“ Huh? Why would you think that, I love all of you guys? ”
“ Yeah, but I love you, and—“
The shock painted on your face had him holding his breath. Alarms went off in his head, telling him he maybe should have held his tongue, not jumped ahead so quickly. The two of you searched each other’s eyes in silence, you recovering from what he said, and him preparing himself for what you would say. Soon enough, your face twisted into a confusion tinged with a bit of playfulness.
“ Wait a second.. You’re jealous, aren’t you? Of Donnie? What for? ”
“ What? What do you mean what for? You, you’ve been laughing at everything he said all day, don’t you think he’s funnier? Don’t you like him more?! ”
If it weren’t his dumb puns and act earlier, it was this that would do you in.
“ Leo, you dummy! Sure I was laughing, but that doesn’t mean I like him more than you, I just, well… ”
It was your turn to be a bit bashful as your eyes looked everywhere except him.
“ I, well.. You’re my favorite, Leo, not Donnie.. ”
As you batted your eyes at him, hoping he would connect the dots thoroughly, your answer was given in the form of his beaming expression as he swept you into his arms, spinning.
“ Ah-hah! So you do like me—and I’m the funnier turtle!? ”
“ Oh no, I shouldn’t have said anything, now you’re too powerful! ”
Playfully you cried, leaning back with your hand dramatically draped across your forehead. Leo chuckled at your antics leaning in to lay his head against your stomach as he tightened his hold firmly.
This was definitely something he would rub in his brother’s face later on—and said brother would be profusely confused by what brought it on???
┆ ── ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ — Mikey 💌
Mikey was the last turtle you ever considered could suffer from the classic ailment of “ jealousy ”, and you couldn’t help but feel both ashamed yet intrigued.
While you weren’t too sure what it was that had got him so riled up, you were observant enough to see the way his eyes lit up with a startling emotion. At first it was impossible to pinpoint, just a glimpse of something indiscernible yet startling that crept into his blue hues at the oddest of times.
The first time you had seen that frightful emotion peek its head was during a date. The two of you had decided to hit a bar late at night, him donning a cloaking brooch, of course.
When you arrived, the loud music was entrancing, luring you both onto the dance floor to get lost in each other’s arms. The music coiled around you both, closing the gap to a suffocatingly tight end, as if either of you couldn’t stand any sort of distance apart. The floor vibrated, from both the booming speakers and the music reverberating the whole building alongside the dancing bodies around you both.
Mikey beamed with the brightest smile, and you just knew he was laughing, albeit drowned out from the ambiance. You were both having the time of your lives. Absorbed into a bubble fit for only the two of you, eyes locked on each other, neither party was ready for the stranger’s hands that snaked around your waist, pulling you in without any mind paid to you already having a devoted dance partner.
Chills set in and you turned to Mikey instantly, locking eyes, but the look in his eyes was enough to have your voice hitch in your throat.
That night ended with you both getting kicked out after Mikey wailed on the guy, but after a while, you both laughed and talked all about the fight on the way home.
The next time you saw that look was when you were hanging out with Leo while waiting for Mikey to return back from patrol. He had invited you over, and you planned to do it after wrapping up a few things, so he figured he could finish a patrol and be ready for you when you got done.
Unfortunately for him, you happened to finish your escapade much too early, and thus were at the lair awaiting his return. Leo happened to pass by, so you roped him into a conversation to bide the time. When Mikey did eventually come home, he stepped in to see you nearly keeled over in laughter.
You had been laughing so hard that when you noticed Mikey, you gave a weak wave and continued dying. He was curious what the joke was, but Leo simply shook his head and left, his own laugh dwindling down the hall. Once you recovered and were on your feet, you caught that same scary emotion swirling in his eyes. He tightened his lips and only softened when he turned to you.
More and more questions arose as you came to experience this look time and time again in all kinds of situations, but the one that finally made all the clicks pop into place was his outburst after you were with Raph.
He had been taking care of some villains on patrol with Mikey when you had ended up in the wrong place, wrong time. Their battle had turned to a violent one, with the villain bashed straight into a wall. Debris crumbled down right as you turned the corner, eyes shooting up to see parts of the building falling towards you. There was no time to move, so you just closed your eyes shut right and braced yourself.
But, no pain ever came, just a bit of dust. You opened your eyes, seeing a huge shadow casted over your body, and when you looked up?
It was Raph, who blocked the falling debris with his mighty shell.
“ Raph! “
You yelped, heart thundering in your chest, and Mikey misunderstood the shimmer in your eyes as Raph rose to full height, throwing the concrete off and away. He misinterpreted why you hugged him so tightly when he scooped you up, taking you away from the damage and ushering you to run the other way.
When you’re focusing on the wrong things, it’s easy to get the signs wrong, and boy had the ache in Mikey’s heart got everything so totally wrong. You liked Raph, didn’t you? Why else would you look at him like that? Did you like it when folks were bigger than you, unlike him who simply had an inch or two on you?
How could he be so stupid?
So, that’s how you ended up where you were now, seconds from entering your apartment when Mikey met you with a sour look on his face. You noticed that same glint in his eyes, still trying to piece together what it meant.
“ Why didn’t you tell me? ”
His voice wavered, and you responded with a hum of confusion. Inviting him in, he closed the door behind you both. His lips tugged down as he searched everywhere for the words to say. Finally, he found them and settled back on you as you were putting things down and unwinding.
“ With Raph! You like him, don’t you?! ”
“ Wha? ”
“ You—You! ”
He seemed frustrated, wracking his brain until finally he threw his hands out and shouted.
“ DO YOU LOVE RAPH MORE BECAUSE HE’S SO BIG?! ”
Silence blanketed you both as you processed his words. Finally, you placed a word on the emotion you always saw in his eyes. Struggling not to laugh at the absurdity, you snorted and shook your head.
“ Jealousy! That’s wh—wait, no, Mikey, no, I don’t ‘Love Raph cause he’s big’ ”
“ Then why do you like him more!? ”
“ Where is this coming from, Mikey, I don’t like Raph like that—I like you. ”
You stepped closer, and Mikey let you in. Your hands reached up, cupping his cheeks, and he leaned into them with such a desperation that you felt bad for finding this whole situation so silly.
“ Just, you always seem so happy when he’s around, and whenever he saves you instead, you always.. ”
His eyes were elsewhere as he spoke, almost as though he were seeing the absurdity in it all now with a clearer mind.
“ Ahh, mhmm, yup, alright so Mikey usually people are very happy when they’re saved from danger—and I mean, I probably look happy cause I’m friends with him too, but I’m dating you, silly. ”
You booped his snoot, smiling as his eyes lit up with the love you were accustomed to seeing them full of.
┆ ── ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ — Raph 💌
If there was any one of the brothers full of insecurities, it would come as no surprise as the spotlight shone upon the red turtle, atop the winner’s pedestal. As someone who once led his brothers in the face of battle, who grew up with the elder sibling curse of forced parenthood, it came as no shock that there were a couple of problems sprinkled into his character.
While he had spent much of his life up to this point recovering and healing from what dared chip at his exterior, there was more than a few bits of stubborn grime that lingered on his surface. It ate away at him, leaving behind vulnerabilities.
Then you came along, and throughout the honeymoon period he experienced nothing but delights. Never had the negative Nancy in his brain perked up to talk her shit, misleading him in circles until he was a mess of unbundled, tangled up rope.
You were a light, something that seemed to power wash the grime away, cake over it with your delicate touch and sweet words. Much smaller than he, you were probably one of the kindest humans he met, someone he cherished more than life itself.
And that, in and of itself, was a vulnerability. You were his weakness, and the shrewd dark spots in his brain couldn’t wait for the rose-colored glass to shatter and let them sink their teeth into this beauteous opportunity.
The sensible part of him knew your kindness knew no ends, that it wasn’t limited or excluded to simply him or a select few. In fact, your sweet demeanor shared with his brothers? It was a breath of relief—it was an understatement to say he had been nervous to introduce you to the family. You were okay with him because he saved you, but his brothers and father weren’t present. They hadn’t been the heroes slamming down against concrete, scaring away the silverfish that preyed upon you one fateful night.
Turns out the trash-eaters had a hankering for good food, and you, all alone, on your way back home with a doggy-bag from Cleo’s Beach Shack, served to be the perfect target.
The night had been quiet, albeit suspiciously so, but your full tummy and weary limbs had their guard fully down. You daydreamed of the bed awaiting you at home, arms beckoning you forth with pillowy softness.
That delightful image was disturbed by the sudden rustling and clank you heard from behind. Turning, your eyes shooed away dreamland and were alert. An empty can rolled from a bush, tinking into someone’s trash can at the curb. Not a soul in sight, so surely it must have been one of New York’s infamous rats? Y’know, that creature that is practically extinct in this city, like there’s no way you would ever see them—definitely not at the metro nor the coffee shop, and surely never this residential street with primo rat hot-spots such as unsupervised trash cans full of food waste.
Yeah, of course, must have been a rat. You’re so paranoid, just hurry on home, nothing bad will happen. Nothing bad ever happens to pretty little guys like you, alone on dimly lit streets, lined with houses whose doors are locked to high hell.
Nothing bad, especially not like the cold metal that clamped firmly on your ankle. Never anything as worse as the chilling growl from whatever tripped you up, glaring with red eyes and flicking a long, sharp-looking tail.
“ Oh sh—“
Your voice feebly complained, raising into a scream to the heavens above as it lunged towards you.
Or well, towards your to-go bag, but who’s paying attention to the little things like that when your life is flashing before your eyes?
Thankfully, the end never came. There was the sound of a growling struggle after a tremor shook your shivering frame, and as you opened your eyes to peek at whatever held up your attacker, a silhouette towered over you. He casted a long shadow over you, which should have been intimidating as hell, but instead it left you feeling…
Safer?
In his hand laid two identical buggers, squirming and chomping with animalistic hunger. This had to have been worse than the rats, you’d take the rats any day, at least they weren’t massive.
… well okay, they are, but this is a whole ‘nother level.
The most shocking part was this giant hero taking a step back, assuming the position of a pitcher, and launching the creatures into the distance. There may have been a glint shining, and was that the cheer of an audience you were hearing? No, that was your imagination, obviously.
But you were not imagining this guy in front of you. Much too tall to be human, unless it was some basketball lead who somehow had balls of steel to save a stranger.
Every warning sign imaginable was washed away without a trace as your savior turned around and shot a shaky smile, warm as a summer sun.
“ S-Sorry about that, are ya okay? ”
He spoke with the timidness of someone a fourth his size, and you couldn’t help but be completely charmed to death.
From that day you would see him more and more, to the point that it felt as if maybe he had been appointed your personal body guard. Ah, but, you didn’t really mind, did you? You loved his company and his toothy grins. You adored his warm, gentle hugs, and it was too sweet how you could feel his hands tremble as they held yours ever so delicately.
So yeah, he worried to introduce you to his family, but the way you brightened up the room instantly had him starstruck. You’re perfect, that’s it. That’s the tweet.
The rosey glass shattered after a few lingering months of dating. His insecurities reared their heads, resting sharp grips on his shoulders as they whispered in his ears all kinds of falsities. You liked his brothers, but maybe you liked his brothers? Why else would you be so nice to them?
And, maybe that’s why you were smiling at Leo like that? Raph is right here, so why were you talking to his brother? He couldn’t even focus enough to heard you both holding the most mundane conversation ever about some shop that opened up over on Moore’s. He steeped in the tea of jealousy, filling his senses to the brim with worry.
The worst part about it was that if you liked Leo, he couldn’t even blame you. Leo was like water, while Raph was stone. Raph stood still, he could be bossy at times, while Leo was a spunky little river that would keep you on your toes. Leo was never boring, and he could keep a smile on your face for as long as the day lasted..
But he didn’t want any of that to be true. None of it.
The conversation was stopped by a meek voice asking for your time, attention shifting from Brother Blue to your beloved, clad in what became your favorite color in these past few months.
“ Y/N, can we talk? ”
Ignoring Leo’s nudge and teasing “ ooooooohs ”, you nodded with a smile, following Raph with a pep in your step.
“ Of course, dear. ”
That lead to the silence you currently shared—with him leaning against the wall of his room, gaze fixated on some smudges on the floor. That should be cleaned up, he thought, trying to not think of how you were sat on his bed, awaiting whatever it was he needed off his chest.
“ Raph? ”
You were the first to talk, already well acquainted with your love’s tiptoeing when it came to any sort of conversation that might be unsavory. You watched as he twisted his expression, tightening his lips—whatever it was, it was bothering him profusely, and you couldn’t help the pang gripping your heart..
“ Raph…? ”
Again, your voice seemed weaker this time. That was what gave him the drive to speak, he couldn’t handle leaving you in such a state, he needed to know if these worries of his were dumb!
“ Do you like Leo? ”
“ What. ”
Your response was so fast and curt, the product of being completely taken off guard with a left hook. There were plenty of other ideas you had for the direction of this conversation, such as having beaten his leftovers last week or how you have his favorite hoodie in your laundry basket right now. Maybe even the secret trips to Donnie’s, who was currently helping you get together a gift for Raph’s birthday next month. A particularly low worry even fretted that this might be a conversation about your relationship and how it should end.
But, instead it’s about Leo? What an easy question to answer!
“ Sorry, I didn’t mean that, I mean to say no. ”
Raph’s shoulders loosened and a breath of relief slipped out of him—when had he even started holding his breath?? Never mind that. You snorted at the absurd thought of liking Leo of all people.
“ Why would I like Leo? Raph, c’mere. ”
You held your hands out, and the way his hands fell into yours spelled out a desperation to be close to you. With a gentle tug, he climbed onto his bed, and you melted into his chest. A storm was brewing in his chest, his heart thundering nervously.
“ Ya just, Raph don’t know, something—he, just… Raph was worried, s’all. Afraid ya preferred him over a… ”
While he was searching for whatever word to insult himself with, you captured his attention with a gentle peck on the lips. Your fingers gently held his chin, turning his focus to lay fully on you.
“ Over a charming, handsome hero? ”
There was that adorable smile, peppering his lips as a light laugh erupted from his chest.
“ You think I’d prefer Leo, who is a risky little ticking time bomb, over my knight in shining armor? ”
He whispered a rebuttal, something along the lines of “ he really is, huh? ”
“ Oh Raph-a-doodle, never could I want anyone other than you. ”
Leaning up, you pressed your forehead against his and gazed into his eyes. They searched yours for a hint of deceit, for anything to latch onto and spiral about, but all he found was warmth.
Thus, the jealousy flame died out, and he plummeted backwards against his bed, dragging you down with him. He gave a heavy exhale as you giggled atop his plastron, scolding him for being so silly.
┆ ── ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ — Donnie 💌
The green of jealousy was a hue you never expected to be painted across the purple canvas you called your boyfriend, but surely there is a chance for any reality to blossom true, right?
Jealousy had sewn seeds far before either of you could catch on, oblivious to the roots which spiraled and narrowed vision to see only one option as opposed to the myriad of other reasonings. You had poured love into your dearest Donnie, so much so that you couldn’t even fathom any room for jealousy. How could he ever be jealous? Surely he knows full and well just how you look at him? Obviously he knows just how only he can pluck the strings of your heart, strumming love with each touch, in a way unlike any other.
Why, if you were Excalibur, then he was your King Arthur.
So, yeah, may the gods above forgive you for not considering a jealous Donnie as a reality to worry about—though, is it really too worrying? Your boyfriend being jealous? Kind of interesting, doesn’t it just trip up your heart into a flurry of skips?
No? Just me?
Anyways, you had missed entirely the shifting of his gaze when Mikey would enter the room. The low growl, the holding of his breath, none of it had appeared in your mind as you laughed along with whatever silly antics the youngest brother would get up to. Sometimes you would even entertain him! I mean, he is your boyfriend’s little brother, so it’s only right that you laugh at his jokes, get along with him, and all that good stuff.
But, jealousy was the type to hold someone still, to draw their gaze upon one stiff perspective and allow no other reasoning. For a man of science, even he was not above the laws of insecurity in relationships, so when he saw how bouncy his brother was around you, never did he contemplate the obvious. Nary a thought shall he consider that it was simply his brother getting along with his brother’s girlfriend, nor did he consider maybe you were being nice. No, the sour, bitter green dipped his head in the nastiness of jealousy, and all he could consider in this moment was that you must have liked his brother more.
Or maybe, his brother liked you and intended to steal you away? Why else would you laugh so heartily at whatever nonsense his brother spouted? Whatever reason was there for the times he would find you in the kitchen, fixing up dinner alongside Mikey? What else could explain you returning home with topside art supplies and personalized tips to his youngest brother?
Obviously the jealous mind of Donatello Hamato was going to omit one important factor: you did this with all his brothers. If they told a good joke, you would laugh. If Mikey made dinner, you were guaranteed to be in the kitchen helping by fixing you and Donnie’s plates to your liking. If there was something on the surface any of the brothers needed, you would totally put it on your errand run, delivering it during your next visit.
But, jealousy cares not for easy explanations. It craves the most dramatic interpretations, and in this case?
The juiciest interpretation was that Mikey had set his eyes on you, Donnie’s prized lover, and you had fallen for him hook, line, and sinker.
No, no, no, Donnie says, not on his watch would he let you be swept off your feet by anyone else.
“ Y/N. ”
Donnie leaned forward, fingers firmly locking with yours and giving an urgent tug. There was a thickness layered in his eyes that left Mikey shrinking away, confused as to what he could’ve done wrong.
“ Let’s go,”
Straightening up, he couldn’t help the grin widening on his face in a “ I’ve won ” type of manner. You simply waved to his brother.
“ You haven’t forgotten why you’re here, have you? ”
The look in his eyes caused your heart to skip, unprepared for such a heavy gaze that you hadn’t yet experienced. A nervous smile rose on your expression as you looked anywhere but the face giving you a look that would serve to make you fall even harder.
“ Of course not, Dee. ”
Donnie noted your refusal to eye contact, and instead of assuming it was one of your usual bashful moments caused by yours truly, his thoughts were plagued with theories of Mikey somehow worming his way into the heart Donnie swore was his.
“ Right. ”
He muttered in a curt fashion, leading you both to his lab.
The uncomfortable awkwardness blanketing the atmosphere had not gone unnoticed as you followed him, thumb stroking loving little hearts upon the upside of his palm. Usually he would meet this with a firm squeeze, but you could recognize when your genius had his mind up in the clouds. He wasn’t even paying attention to you, was he?! And to think you came all this way to entertain his experiments, hoping to get a kiss or two, only to be met with unnecessary coldness?
What the heck, man?
“ Prepare to behold the wondrous creations of the genius, Donatello. ”
Whatever stink he had been brewing in just seconds prior had evaporated as he unveiled his newest creation: an air-fryer that could quite literally create anything from thin air.
You tried to ignore the distant shout of the youngest brother, something along the lines of “ Hey! Where’s the air-fryer?! ”
Donnie had not ignored it, nor had he dismissed the stifled laughter from you that he surely knew the cause of. His hands clenched, wrapping into crossed arms as he leaned his weight into the table.
“ Annoyed sigh. ”
While rolling his eyes, he muttered an annotation to the peeved groan slipping his lips. There it was again, you noted with a narrowed gaze, that odd discontentment he’d been soaking in this night.
“ Alright, spill it. ”
You mirrored his lean, relying on one of the structural pillars in his lab to hold your weight. Your fingers thumped impatiently against your bicep as your eyes soaked in Donnie’s body language. He seemed to stiffen, either nervously or defensively, you didn’t know.
“ Spill what? ”
He spoke with such an accusatory tone that you were almost ticked off. You held your tongue, hoping to keep this civil and not devolving into mindless argument.
“ Spill wh—?! ”
Sputtering, your hands gestured wildly before quite literally framing him. He knew what you meant, he wasn’t dumb!
“ Whatever is making you so, so—so THIS! ”
His brow raised, and he almost seemed insulted as you threw your hands up with a frustrated growl.
“ Why are you so upset with me right now? What did I do? ”
That seemed to do the charm of dragging out what you’ve been looking for, the explanation, as he straightened his posture and pushed off the table.
“ Oh save me the innocent act, Y/N,”
Confusion painted your face, and for a moment he physically faltered, unsure to continue after such a clear display of hurt across your pretty face. After a second, his mouth tugged into a frown, shaking off the hesitation to continue his claim,
“ I know you like Mikey, so just do us both a favor and go scurry along after him. ”
Donnie waved his hand off, pointing to the door. Whatever look you had on your face at that moment must have embodied just how deeply the pain in your heart crawled, right on down to your very core, because he seemed to balk at his own words. A bit of regret wrapped around him as he muttered something too low for you to hear.
Tightening your lips, you straightened this time and took a few steps to close the gap between you and him.
“ You will not talk to me like that, and what’s this about me liking Mikey? Your little brother? ME? You think I like him?! ”
There was no way, right? He couldn’t be serious? You, liking Mi—he might as well have been your brother too! You could never like him over Donnie?! What an outrageous claim, you thought, standing your ground in front of Donnie. This could have been avoided if he had just not been such, such a…
“ Obviously! Why else would you be bringing him gifts and helping him out in the kitchen? ”
You opened your mouth to speak, only to be interrupted as he continued with an accusatory finger pointing no where specific.
“ And I’ll have you know that I have read about ‘Cooking together’ and I know how much of an intimate bonding experience it is! ”
The childish stomp he gave, throwing his fists against his sides stiffly, served to diminish almost all the frustration bubbling up. You snorted at the sight, causing him to loosen up, confusedly tripping over his words to sputter out a “ Wh-What, what is this, what’s so funny? ”
“ … You’re a riot, Dee. ”
Wiping away the tiny tears pricking from such a hearty laugh, your eyes met his with less of anger and more of the warmth he was far too familiar of.
“ Since apparently I’m the only one of us with some sense, I’ll have YOU know that I do that for all of y’all! ”
Sheepishly, he seemed to curl into himself as you poked your index finger right into his plastron to emphasize the “ you ”.
“ I bring you gifts all the time—April, Raph, Leo, hell, even Splinter, too! ”
Jealousy was starting to burn away, leaving behind the bashful shame as he started to finally contemplate the more reasonable explanations for your behavior. Silently he condemned himself for starting up this whole dumb debacle with such a blatant disregard to the facts.
“ And of COURSE I help Mikey with cooking. You have a specific palette that he doesn’t always remember fully, so it’s up to me to make sure you get a fulfilling meal you’ll actually eat, dummy! ”
Ah, now that was the part that did him in, something he didn’t even know. Just as you were going to continue, he stepped closer.
“ Wait, you do? ”
“ I do—do what? I said a lot of things, Donnie, be specific. ”
Derailed, you stumbled over your claims, lost suddenly at which point he had cling to.
“ I thought Michael was just inconsistent in his preparation of my dishes, but since you say that, I do recall my meals being much better when you were around. ”
His hands had found their way upon your shoulders as he spoke, gaze flitting all across the lab as he collected his thoughts.
“ I had suspected meals were just better when you were around because, well.. ”
You softened as his gaze fell onto you.
“ Because you were there.. ”
Silence fell upon you both, except more comfortably this time. He exhaled deeply, marked with his trademark “ relieved sigh ” then smiled at you.
“ Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you into such a ridiculous argument. I was just… ”
“ You were just… Jealous? ”
Your teasing gaze was searing through him, so much so he shut his eyes tightly and groaned annoyedly.
“ As much as I would wish to not admit it, yes. I may have been experiencing,”
He waved his hand in the air, as if collecting his words.
“ Jealousy, towards your interactions with Miguel.. ”
Donnie was relieved as you laughed away all his worries, leaning in to plant a kiss on his lips. The moment lingered for a few, as if desperately needed to mend this situation, stopping only when you pulled away.
“ Alright, you’re forgiven… For now—BUT! Next time just talk to me, dummy, you got me all riled up for no reason. ”
With that, you gave a playful shove that had him gasping as though he were insulted, and quick to rush to his experiment’s side with more questions than he could keep up with.
Not like he hated an attentive and questioning audience, though. Much appreciated.
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boltlightning · 1 year ago
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#me when I open my cookies in front my dogs (via @t-annuki)
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megumiluvv · 1 month ago
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Trouble
A Five Part Sukuna Series
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Part One: Some Dumb Project
Masterlist
Part Two (will update when posted!!)
Synopsis: You switched majors and meet this annoying guy in your new history class, now you have to work on a project with him. Not only that, he goes to the place you work at! Ugh, how annoying, hopefully he won’t cause any trouble…
〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎ ♛ 〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎
Sukuna is nothing but trouble. Everyone knows that. All your life, you’ve attracted nothing but trouble. Whether it’s a traffic jam, your coffee being too cold or spilling all over you, or somehow locking yourself out of your apartment, you just can’t help but find trouble.
Like right now.
You’re late. To your first class of your new major. It’s not like you slept in late or anything, your door jammed, meaning you had to bust yourself out of your own apartment. Talk about annoying! Luckily, the professor hasn’t entered class, so when you walk into the lecture hall, you get up to a row with good acoustics and sit next to a boy with pink hair. He smiles at you and taps your shoulder.
“Hey! I’m Yuji Itadori! Are you new? I haven’t seen you here before, and most of these people are familiar faces.”
“Yeah, I switched majors over break. Nice to meet you, Itadori.”
“Hey, who’s the person in my seat, brat?”
You think you have double vision when you see Itadori twice, but this second one has tattoos on his face.
“Um, there aren’t assigned seats.”
“You’re one of those people, aren’t you?” He huffs with his gruff voice, a frown permanently etched into his face. He’s like a polar opposite of Yuji.
“Sukuna, just sit on the other side of me, it’s not that big a deal.” Yuji rolls his eyes.
“Maybe not to you, idiot.”
“Um, who are you?” You tilt your head.
“I’m this brat’s twin brother, isn’t that obvious? Now get out of my spot.”
“Still not your spot.”
“I will carve my name into the desk. Then will you move?”
“Isn’t that vandalism?”
“Even better.”
You scoff into a small laugh and look at Yuji with a “can you believe this guy?” look. You still refuse to switch seats as the professor enters.
“Alright, take your seats, class has started.” He says in a bored tone.
Sukuna scoffs at you and sits on the other side of Yuji, glaring at you the entire time. He can already tell you’re going to annoy him. Especially with your stupid attitude, your dumb clothes that fit you so well, your stupid good looks, your annoyingly attractive body… He needs to not stare. He shakes the thought away as the professor talks about some dumb project he could care less about.
“You all are going to be assigned a group of three people, so just look at the person next to you and on the other side, that’s basically your group, just for simplicity.” The professor looks up and starts writing groups down. “Mkay, so the Itadoris anddd… got it.”
Sukuna almost audibly groans with his eye roll, now he’s stuck with you? What a pain… The end of class couldn’t come sooner. He glares at you as he leaves, grabbing his pack of cigarettes and smoking in the bathrooms. You look at Yuji in confusion.
“That’s your twin brother?”
“Yeah, I think he was dropped.”
You laugh at him and shake your head, he’s definitely funnier than his moody counterpart. You head to your next class after exchanging numbers. The rest of the school day goes on like normal. Luckily, you don’t have any other classes with Yuji’s brother, but you do share a math class with Yuji, which is fun. You leave to work, a cafe run by a tired old man, but he’s a nice guy. You get there early somehow, changing into your work clothes and heading to the front to take orders.
You didn’t think the day would be worse, but who else enters the cafe but that annoying tattooed guy? Oh, and Yuji, but he’s not the issue here. There’s a third guy too, he doesn’t look much like them.
“Hey, customers are here, stop staring and take their orders, please.” Nanami tells you.
“Right, sorry.” You mumble and take their orders, Sukuna purposely picking something difficult. Yuji smiles at you and sits at their normal spot.
“This history project makes no sense, we haven’t even been taught this thing and he’s assigning us a project! Can you believe this, Choso?” Yuji groans and sips his drink when you set it in front of him.
“It’s like a research project, and we need to sort out who's doing what.” You say and hand who Yuji called “Choso” his black coffee. You set down the difficult order Sukuna made and he examines it.
“Hmm…”
“What are you doing?”
“Making sure it was made correctly.”
“I didn’t poison it, dude, it has everything you asked for.”
“Hmmmmm…” Your eye twitches.
“You’re not getting a refund, Sukuna, she made it exactly like you asked, you’re such a pain in the ass.” Yuji rolls his eyes and looks at you. “Just ignore him. We need to plan the project anyways. Sukuna isn’t going to do anything, I already know that.”
Sukuna, who doesn’t deny it, opens a bunch of straws, rips small parts of the wrapping paper, balls them up, and throws them across the table. One hits Yuji, one lands onto the floor, one lands in Choso’s coffee, and one hits you while another lands in your hair. Choso glares at his younger brother and rolls his eyes, moving the ball out of his coffee before taking a sip.
“Every day, I wonder how I am even related to you.” Choso mumbles.
“Oh, you say that about me but not the idiot next to you?”
“At least Yuji isn’t a literal menace like you.”
“Can we please focus on the project?” Yuji sighs.
“Whatever.” Sukuna grumbles and keeps tossing trash around.
“I’ll research the start half if you research the end half.” Yuji says to you.
“Mkay, I can also make the presentation.”
“What am I supposed to do?” Sukuna asks.
“Don’t act like you plan to help, idiot! The school already caught you for vandalizing the bathroom stalls! You’re gonna be busy cleaning all that up before you can even work on the project, and I know you’ll take your sweet ass time cleaning everything up!” Yuji argues with Sukuna.
“Really? First day back and you’re already in trouble?” You tilt your head.
“Don’t act so surprised, everyone knows he’s trouble.” Choso says pointedly.
“Oh, I guess you’ve never met him before today, huh? He gets in trouble quite a lot.” Yuji grins. “Anyways, we should let you get back to work, so have fun!”
Yuji leaves a tip for you and you start cleaning the table, not seeing the way Sukuna’s gaze lingers when you bend to pick up the trash from the ground. You hit your head standing back up and swear you can hear someone snicker.
You drive home, though leaving the parking lot of the cafe takes you almost an hour since your key wouldn’t work. When you get to your apartment, you enter through the front door and cook yourself a simple dinner. You count your tips and see a piece of paper you didn’t notice before.
“Don’t sit there tomorrow or I’ll key your car.”
Wonder who that could be from.
The next day, you head to class, getting there early, and Sukuna is already in “his seat”, giving you a glare as his eyes trail down your body. He really can’t stand you, he decides again. Your outfit today sits a little too perfect, being just tight enough that if someone was looking hard enough (which Sukuna was), they could see the outline of your bra.
You chew on the end of your pencil, a bad habit you’re yet to break, and Yuji shares the research doc to you. You split the work between the two of you and Sukuna just sits in the doc typing the same three phrases over and over.
“Stop that.” Yuji smacks his brother’s arm.
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re typing ‘death and destruction’ as if you’re manifesting it, stop.”
“I’m not just typing that…”
“Don’t get me started on ‘the despair is endless’ and ‘this class shouldn’t exist’. What are you, twelve?”
“I’m twenty-one, like you, dumbass!”
“I’m not the dumbass writing edgy shit on the doc!”
“Oh my god, you two, just let him type his edgy shit and continue researching.” You groan.
Yuji huffs in frustration and continues his research while you check the doc to see what Sukuna is doing. There are fire emojis in the middle of your typing, the words “you work tn?” near the bottom of the page. You sigh and humor him, talking through the document.
“No, why?”
“So I don’t get to throw trash at you later?”
“Nope.”
“How sad.”
You look at him and he has a smirk. You roll your eyes and leave when class is over, tripping over your own feet. He laughs at your misfortune and grunts when Yuji smacks him in the head.
“What was that for?!”
“Don’t go flirting with her, she’s a nice girl who doesn’t need someone like you to fuck up her happiness.”
“I’m not flirting with her!”
“I saw the fucking doc, dipshit. You’re not slick.”
“I was asking if she’d be around for me to torment.”
“You and I both know what your intentions were.”
The tattooed twin grunts and walks off, lighting a cigarette and tripping some nerd who apologizes for being in his way. He wasn’t flirting. He can’t stand you, he tells himself. He can’t stand your quick remarks to his words, can’t stand your stupid doe eyes, the way they squint when you’re focused on typing after the third typo in a row, can’t stand the way you purse your lips and the slight smile on your face when he and Yuji are arguing, definitely not wondering what it’d be like to feel them against his own. Because he wasn’t flirting. Yuji doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Sukuna smokes and half-ass scrubs the stall he vandalized yesterday. His thoughts are not focused on you, your stupid face, or your dumb words. Totally not. He wasn’t flirting, he reassures himself again. He’s not interested in you. Even if he was, he wouldn’t admit that. You’re just some girl in his class. Not important at all.
He’s late to the cafe and Yuji is fixing the mistakes in the research document. Choso sips his usual black coffee and scrolls on his phone.
“You’re late.” The elder brother points out.
“Had to clean the bathrooms.”
“I see. Your barista friend isn’t here.”
“She’s not my ‘friend’, Choso.”
“She’s Yuji’s friend.”
“Doesn’t make her mine by default, she can have the brat.”
“Says Mister Flirts With Her.” Yuji grins.
“I wasn’t flirting dammit!”
“Why are you getting so defensive, huh?”
“I am not! You’re just a pain in my ass and annoying the hell out of me!”
“Stop screaming, Nanamin will kick us out!” Yuji frowns.
“I still don’t get how you’re so buddy-buddy with the old man.” Choso mumbles.
“He’s pretty cool. Kind of mean, but he makes delicious bread.”
“Literally how the hell are you even aware of that?” Sukuna scoffs.
“Unlike you, I actually talk to people, and get along with them!”
“Whatever…” He scoffs.
Sukuna seems bored. He taps the table to a catchy tune and just waits until it’s time for him to go home. He watches a few groups walk into the cafe and at Yuji working diligently on his laptop.
“At least she does her work. I’d hate to do this project alone.” Yuji says to no one in particular.
“Do you do anything else besides complain?”
“Shut the fuck up, Sukuna. Let me think out loud. And you complain more than I do.”
“Liar.”
“How the hell is that a lie?”
Choso chuckles at his younger brothers. “Sukuna, you do have a streak for complaining more than Yuji.”
“Oh, dare I bring you into this, Choso?”
“You’re right; withdrawn.”
“Let’s just go home already.”
“Yeah, fine.” Yuji frowns and shuts his laptop.
When they get home, Sukuna feels a buzz in his pocket. He checks his phone. There is a text from Gojo, the university’s pretty boy.
Party at my place next Thursday.
This should be fun.
Taglist: @jinxiewritings @midnight-138 @sukioyakio @toffeebrat @hypothetical-hypocritical
@sh0ot1ngst4r @tojideckmuncher @sterzin @theirlgarfield @mikari73
@watyousayin @cherriee-ee @kyojurokoibito @xwhatiams @notsocherries
@ohohcandy @aruraa @samaraxmorgan (Comment or ask and I’ll add you!!)
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wonusite · 2 years ago
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Fool For You
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❝ We’re all fools when it comes to love, and the cute nerd in your calculus class has to learn this the hard way. Luckily, you’re there to help him through it. ❞
pairing: joshua hong x female reader
genre: college au, fwb au, smut, fluff
word count: 5.1k
warnings: nerd!shua, cheerleader!reader, josh is nothing more than a simp in denial, shua is also vv bad at hiding his feelings, mingyu is the captain of this ship, jealousy, pining, teasing, begging, cockwarming, oral sex (f receiving), riding, spanking, multiple creampies, unprotected sex, jealous sex, overstimulation
read part one
a/n: written due to my inability to get over this concept. minors dni!!!
Josh is almost too good at hiding his budding feelings for you. It’s funny how good he is at pretending that he doesn’t feel an inexplicable warmth in his chest when you sit next to him in calculus. It’s even funnier how he manages to convince you that he’s unaffected when you continuously go to the library just to spend time with him. And it’s fucking hilarious how he acts like he hasn’t seen the latest photos and videos you’ve uploaded when he knows full well that he has the post notifications on for all your socials.
Part of him knows that this facade he has going on is only a byproduct of his denial. After all, the feeling he gets in his chest every time he so much as thinks about you only becomes real if he acknowledges it. His unwillingness to admit his growing feelings is a defense mechanism of sorts because no one had ever made him feel the way you did.
It comforting to him that you actually like the more irritating parts of his personality. The cold and aloof attitude he displayed turned off a lot of people who would’ve otherwise been in his life. But you didn’t care about that because you liked every part of him.
Joshua tries not to think of all this as you’re literally bouncing on his cock, but it’s hard not to. Not with the way your head is thrown back in pleasure, pretty lips dropped open as even prettier moans spill from them. The way your captivating eyes are focused on his face when you come down from yet another orgasm has his cock throbbing wildly. It’s hard to not be overwhelmed with emotion when you direct that beautiful smile of yours at him.
A smile that’s meant for him and only him.
In an effort to focus on the pleasure and not the intensity of the feelings consuming his entire being, he starts to snap his cock into you more harshly. Your shaky moans and needy whimpers make him tighten his grip on your waist. Josh can’t stop a teasing smirk from lifting his lips when he feels your hot cunt start to spasm around his dick. Your arousal is dripping down to his balls and has a wet slapping sound filling his room. The carnal heat in his gut clouds his mind as he starts to guide you down on his dick to fuck you deeper.
“I– fuck.” You let out a choked moan, feeling Josh’s throbbing tip hit your sweet spot. “Gonna come again.”
Josh loves how fucked out you look, completely gone in the pleasure only he can give you. “Yeah? Come for me, pretty girl.”
You love it when he calls you that, and you’re pretty sure he knows it because he always calls you that when he wants you to come on his cock. Josh’s large hands smooth up your body to roughly palm your tits. A loud cry escapes you when he pinches and pulls your sensitive nipples. That’s all it takes for you to gush around his cock.
His hips don’t stop, chasing after his own high with a ferocious need. Josh’s large hands snake down your body and grab a handful of your ass to roughly pull you deeper onto his cock, the giant tip hitting deeper inside you than before. You can feel him throbbing inside you wildly as he starts bouncing you up and down his fat cock.
“Josh!” You cry out when he slams into your spongy spot with a particularly sharp thrust.
The loud cries and moans you’re letting out turn into pathetic mewls as he repeatedly slams over that spot again and again. Joshua watches your eyes roll to the back of your head, absolutely mesmerized. It’s an erotic sight that triggers his own orgasm. Thick ropes of cum spill inside you, filling you up to the brim. Your moans mix in with Josh’s as his seed slowly spills down to his balls.
For a moment, you two just hold on to each other. Josh softly rubs his cheek against your chest, not wanting to seperate from you. He loves the feeling of your nails gently running through his hair and grazing his scalp. It feels oddly intimate, yet he doesn’t stop you from doing it.
A sudden possessiveness overwhelms him, and before he realizes what he’s doing, he has you pinned underneath him, cock still fully sheathed inside you. The teasing grin you’re directing at him makes his dick throb in need.
“Still want more?” You ask through quiet pants.
“You know I’ll never get enough of you, baby.”
His smooth voice has your cunt squeezing his aching cock once again, velvety walls locking him in and refusing to let him go. Joshua lets out a low groan as he snakes an arm around your waist to pull you flush against his chest. “Fuck. Your greedy little pussy won’t let me go, babe.”
His hips press into yours, and you can only whimper when the fat tip of his leaking cock brushes against your sweet spot. Your eyes roll back as you push your hips up to meet his gentle thrusts. It makes Josh smile. You’re always so pliant and needy for him, always ready to take everything he gives you.
“Oh, fuck!” You moan wantonly as his thrusts turn sharp and rough.
His balls are clapping against your ass and your arousal is coating his entire pelvis—the wet slapping sound of sex filling his room. A carnal need suddenly consumes Josh, and he starts drilling into you at an unrelenting pace. Your choked moans and loud crises of his name has Josh’s chest burning with insatiable desire. It’s apparent in the rhythm he sets as he’s stretching you open on his cock.
You’re starting to lose yourself to the pleasure his big dick is bringing you, but you can still feel the way his arm releases your waist and trails down to your puffy cunt. Josh’s long fingers start rubbing quick circles on your sensitive clit, the delicious motion making you see stars.
“Your pussy was fucking made for me.”
He knows you’re too far gone to answer when all you can do is moan stupidly, eyes rolled all the way back as his fingers pinch and twist your puffy clit. Still, your hips are still twisting in time to meet his deep thrusts. Josh feels his heart start to race when your breathe out his name so desperately, hot walls squeezing the sensitive head of his cock when he slams against your sweet spot.
Right now he feels drunk, trying futilely to hold back the needy whines and whimpers on the tip on his tongue. He grips your hips and focuses on fucking his aching cock into your doughy count. Josh’s pace stutters when you mewl his name with something that comes dangerously close to affection.
Everything is almost too much for him—you are almost too much. He’s gotten better at fucking you and not letting too much of his emotions through, but fuck. You always made it so hard. Every time you blink up at him with your pretty eyes and cute pout he feels like you can see right through his stoic facade.
Your walls squeeze his cock, and he knows you’re close. He is too. “You...” he grunts, jaw clenching as he fucks into you. “Do you love m— this?”
Joshua stresses the last word, eyes bulging when he realizes what he almost asked you. Luckily, you were too fucked out to notice. He keeps pounding into you, wondering why his heart feels like it’s on the verge of exploding.
With a few more strokes, you two come at the same time, smashing your lips together to swallow each other’s moans. For now, Josh only focuses on the way you just melt against him, seeking a comforting embrace. He gives it to you like always, slowly easing himself out of you before gently rubbing along your spent body.
You blink back into reality when you feel a warm towel between your legs, gently and attentively cleaning you up. A soft sigh escapes you. If only you could lay in between your little nerd’s soft sheets forever.
“You don’t have to leave.” Josh is quick to say when you sit up and start getting dressed. He almost wants to hit himself for how awkwardly desperate he sounds.
You look back at him with a quiet giggle. “I know, but if I stay we’ll end up fucking all night and I won’t have any energy for practice tomorrow. The team’s still annoyed with me because I haven’t been landing my stunts like I usually do.”
Before you, Joshua didn’t believe cheerleading to be an actual sport. Shaking pompoms and chanting some cheesy cheer didn’t seem like something that required any actual athleticism, but as he got to know you, he realized that he had it all wrong. Tumbling and flying were nothing if not athletic. The proof was in your physical state. More often than not, you would suffer from muscle strains and ligament sprains.
“Cheer is a contact sport, Joshy.” You said casually as you iced your ankles one day. “Every time I land one of my stunts, I’m landing on five times my body weight. This sort of thing is bound to happen.”
It only made the feeling in his chest intensify after you casually dismissed the clear pain you were in. Since then, this lingering feeling always creeps up on him when you’re around. It’s the same feeling he has as he watches you gather your things. Even as you press a chaste kiss on his lips to say goodbye, the feeling doesn’t go away.
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“What’s wrong, babe?” Josh groans with a small smirk. “You sound like you want something.”
You swallow the whimper at the edge of your throat and will yourself to come to your senses. Yes, you were becoming impatient, but this time you were determined to not beg. Somehow, you managed to let out a breathy scoff. “That’s funny because it feels like you want something.”
Josh doesn’t know when you made it a habit to cockwarm him every time you two study at his place, but he’s not complaining. The feeling of your tight cunt wrapped snugly against his cock is a feeling he’ll never get sick of. Plus, he absolutely loves it when you fall apart for him, so desperate and needy.
It’s sort of a game between you two now. Both of you want to see the other give in first and move. You always say it’s not fair that he rolls and pinches your clit to get you to grind your hips. He always points out it’s not fair of you to clench down on him knowing that the tightness of your cunt drives him crazy with need.
This time, however, you’re winning.
His thick cock is throbbing inside you wildly, and Josh keeps burying his face into your neck. The feather light kisses he was placing on the tender flesh at the beginning of your game have become harsher and more frequent.
“And if I do? Will you give it to me?”
Fuck.
“You’re creaming all over my cock, baby.” Josh’s lips brush against your cheek sinfully. “Making such a fucking mess. Be a good girl and move for me, hm?”
He’s goading you into moving your hips to fuck yourself on his cock, but you don’t relent, knowing he’s so close to snapping. “I don’t feel like being a good girl.”
Josh’s large hands leisurely wander up and down your body, rolling your hardened nipples between his warm fingers. “You’re so mean.”
You can only smirk as his hands settle on your hips. “I learned from the best.”
All it takes is you clenching down on him one more time for Josh to give in. The grip on your hips becomes bruised as he starts to thrust deeply into your dripping cunt. His thrusts are rough and sharp, not once stopping in his fast pace.
All he can think is how he’s going to make you gush on his cock all night. You did win, after all.
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Josh can’t put a name on what you two have. To say it’s a friends with benefits relationship doesn’t really seem to fit. It’s not like you two are enemies, but to say that you're actual friends doesn’t seem right either. Sure, he’s grown significantly more fond of you since you took his virginity, but despite everything, he still doesn’t know how to label what you two have.
Maybe that’s why he freezes when Vernon asks if you two are dating.
The small table at the corner of the library suddenly goes uncomfortably silent. Vernon and Soonyoung exchange a look as Jeonghan watches, entirely amused, when Josh grows visibly flustered.
“No.” You say without looking up from your phone. “We just hang out sometimes.”
Your answer is accepted without much doubt, and soon enough the conversation continues as if the initial question was never asked. Jeonghan is the only one to notice his friend’s displeased frown. He wonders if Josh is aware of the face he’s making. Probably not.
It’s true that you and Josh aren‘t dating, but you didn’t have to be so hasty to confirm that fact to Vernon. You also didn’t have to sound and act so indifferent when the question came up. It probably shouldn’t bother him as much as it does, but he can’t help the bitterness that fills his mouth when he keeps thinking about your response. To reduce what’s going on between you two as hanging out was borderline insulting. Sure, it was mainly sex, but there was an underlying intimacy to this thing you guys had.
But clearly, you didn’t seem to think so.
And why should it matter to him if you didn’t see it the way he did?
So what if Josh knows what kind of foods you like? So what if he knows that you prefer to be the big spoon when you two cuddle? So what if he knows that you’re majoring in computer science despite your parents being against it? So what if he knows that you never wanted to be a cheerleader, but only did it to please your mother? So what if he knows that you’re more than just a pretty face like everyone thinks?
None of that means you two are together or will be in the future. And that’s fine. In fact, it’s perfectly fine and doesn’t bother Joshua at all.
He’s the one who insisted on keeping things between you two casual, anyway. It was only natural for you to act like your relationship was only physical.
When Jeonghan invites him to the football game on Friday night, Josh isn’t sure why he agrees to go. He’s never been interested in football, and he certainly wasn’t now. However, to be able to see you in your cheer uniform was an opportunity he couldn’t pass up. The sight alone feels worth it to him.
That is, until he sees the paint on your cheek.
Joshua feels like his jaw could snap from how hard he’s clenching it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows he shouldn’t be so angry. It’s not like you two were even dating. But still, how could you write Kim fucking Mingyu’s number on your cheek? Did the time you two spend together mean nothing to you?
“Can you make it any more obvious?” Jeonghan wonders with a smirk.
Finally, Josh manages to take his eyes off of you to look at his friend. “What are you talking about?”
“We can all tell you’re mad, but aren’t you the one who told Y/N that you just wanted to fuck on the DL with no strings?”
Joshua isn’t a violent guy, but the urge to throttle his friend has never been stronger. Technically, yes, he did say that to you at one point. But he also didn’t go around flirting with other girls despite there not being anything between you two that went beyond a physical relationship. Not like how you were flirting with every jock that came by to say hi to you. Especially that stupid Mingyu guy.
“I just think her behavior is so high school. Who still does the number on the cheek thing?” Josh’s sulky scowl deepens when he watches you laugh along to something Mingyu said.
“Maybe it is.” Jeonghan has to physically stop himself from cackling. “But so is yours.”
Josh can’t really say anything because it’s true. He was acting like a jealous teenager whose actions were being dictated by spite. Still, one thing was certain. As soon as the game was over and he took you back to his place, he was going to remind you that no one was capable of fucking you he did.
You don’t think much of Josh’s silence when you get back to his place. Well, that’s not exactly true. Part of you is excited because it seemed like your friend’s cliche plan was actually working. Ever since you got drunk and let it slip to Mingyu that you had feelings for Josh, he made it his personal mission to play matchmaker. You were too embarrassed to say that you guys were actually fucking, but the feelings seemed to be one-sided.
Mingyu’s plan was a bit simple minded since it all depended on a tale as old as time—jealousy. He seemed so sure that he planned everything from the paint on your cheek to the “flirting” that took place at the game. You had doubted his methods right until Josh tells you to wash that stupid paint off your face.
“Make me.”
Those two words are enough to make your sweet little nerd snap.
Part of you slightly regrets it, but the larger part doesn’t because you absolutely love it when he’s rough and mean. Just like he’s being now as you’re sitting on his lap with nothing but your panties on.
“You’re such a fucking brat.” Joshua growls. His fingers are gripping the satin material of your panties so they’re pulled tautly and tightly against the throbbing flesh of your wet cunt.
“You think you’re cute flirting with that dumbass football player?” His words are punctured by another harsh tug to your underwear.
You shake your head, unable to believe your idiot friend was actually right. “Juh-Josh!”
He pulls you closer and gently nips at your jaw while his other hand keeps pulling at your underwear. Josh is entirely captivated with the way your swollen lips swallow the damp fabric. He smiles wolfishly when you start to tremble against him. It’s not long after that you feel the coil in your stomach snap, moaning loudly as you gush all over Josh’s jean-clad thigh.
But he’s hardly done. Joshua grips your hips and starts grinding your clothed cunt against his leg. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as the overstimulation starts to become too much for you. Still, it’s not enough. It will never be enough until he splits you open on his cock. And he knows this, which is why he won’t give you what you want until he’s satisfied with your begging.
“Shua, please!” You whine pathetically. “Just fuck me already!”
This finally seems to be enough for him because soon a enough you find your face pressed against the mattress with Josh’s cock ramming into your sensitive cunt. A stinging swat comes down onto your arcing ass that’s already burning from the slaps he delivered to you earlier. It makes you moan out stupidly.
“What’s that?” His chuckle is cruel. “Did I already fuck you stupid?”
His hands are on your hips, forcing you back on to his cock roughly. The tip of his cock is slamming against your g-spot, and he groans when your walls squeeze his cock until you’re creaming on him for the second time.
Josh moans along with you as his cock keeps ravaging your tight little pussy. The euphoric feeling of his thick cock throbbing deep inside you with every languid stroke makes your creamy cunt squeeze him again as if it doesn’t want him to disconnect.
“Fuck, Y/N!” He moans as his hot cum spills inside you.
Another sharp strike connects with the globe of your ass. His large hand spread your cheeks as he roughly fucks his cum back into your sopping hole. Josh’s thrust abruptly slow, and for a second you think he’s done, but he only flips you over so his chest is pressed against yours.
A carnal heat clouds Josh’s mind when he sees your fucked out face gazing up at him. He starts fucking his cock back into your battered cunt.
“More.” You mewl, lifting you hips to meet his thrusts.
“That’s it, baby.” Josh growls as his cock plunges in and out of you, filling his room with a lewd squelching sound. “Beg for this fucking cock.”
The sharp buck of his strong hips clashing against your own forces your body to jolt upward at the rough contact. Josh fucks into your pussy as mercilessly as he can, desperate to have you think of him and only him.
All you can feel is his fat cock ramming into your insides, and you’re so fucking glad that you listened to Mingyu. “Don’t stop!”
“You’re squeezing me so tightly.” Josh sighs dreamily. “So perfect for me.”
“I-I’m gonna come.” You whimper as he starts pounding into you faster and harder than before.
His cock is so deep inside you, and you love every moment of it. You’ll never get enough.
“Mingyu can’t fuck you like this.” Josh suddenly growls as his pace reaches a new level of fast. “Only I can because this sweet cunt is all mine, right?”
You can only moan in response, eyes shutting tightly from the overwhelming amount of pleasure of Josh fucking into you. “All yours, baby. Only yours.”
Your words trigger both your orgasms, the only sound that can be heard in the room is his heavy balls slapping against your ass as he fills you with his sticky cum. That emotion from before settles in his chest as you cling to him, refusing to let go.
Josh presses a gentle kiss to your temple, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion.
“Stay here tonight.” His whisper is soft as his arms tighten around you. “Please.”
Your heart clenches after hearing how desperate and vulnerable Josh sounds. Maybe it’s wishful thinking or post-sex bliss, but it makes an inexplicable warmth spread throughout your body. You gently run your nails along the nape of his neck before softly caressing his hair. “Okay.” You agree in a whisper. “I’ll stay.”
It simultaneously relieves and frustrates Josh that you don’t seem to notice how much affection he actually has for you despite being wrapped up in each other’s arms. Fleetingly, he considers telling you about the feelings consuming him, but he ultimately decides against it.
There’s always next time, after all.
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“—heard Mingyu is going to confess to Y/N.”
Josh nearly trips over his feet when he’s walking to his next class and he catches the last part of a stranger’s conversation. It’s crazy for him to stop the random guy and demand to know how he knew this information. It’s even crazier for him to ditch his class to go to the spot the stranger mentions you and Mingyu are at.
He doesn’t remember the last time he ran this much or this fast. His lungs are burning, but he can’t care about that right now. Not when that stupid jock has you all alone with the intention of asking you out.
There’s a terrible jerk in his chest when he sees you and Mingyu together outside the library. You two are talking casually, and Josh’s mind is clouded with a feeling he vaguely acknowledges as jealousy. He won’t allow Kim Mingyu to confess to you at such a sacred place. Our place, he angrily thinks.
“Y/N.” Joshua says as calmly as he can once he’s close enough. “What are you doing?”
It’s a question that throws you off because you specifically remember mentioning that you were going to work on a project with a friend. He had been chill about it, even going as far as to invite you over after his last class of the day was over. The real question is what was he doing? You’ve never known Josh to skip out on any classes, and you weren’t sure why he was choosing now of all moments to do so.
“Mingyu and I—”
“Were having a private discussion.” Mingyu cuts in with a smirk that makes you want to smack him. “Do you mind?”
You knew you should’ve never confided in him with the feelings you harbored for Josh, but it’s too late to pout about drunken mistakes. Now he was going to try to stir shit up, and by the look Josh was giving him, it was working.
“I do.” Joshua seethes. “I need to talk to my girlfriend about something.”
It was more than likely that you had the dumbest look on your face at that moment. You can’t seem to hear anything other than the loud thrumming of your heart. It’s fluttering so hard that you feel like it might fly out of your chest at any moment.
You’ve known Mingyu long enough to know what he’s thinking. Despite the fact that Josh probably couldn’t beat him in a fight, you know the look he’s giving Mingyu had him feeling a bit intimidated. And yet, your idiot friend still sees no reason to stop his antics.
“Really?” Mingyu says through a laugh. “That’s funny because Y/N never mentioned that you two are going out. Since when have you been her boyfriend?”
“Since she took my virginity!”
Mingyu’s smirk slowly fades as he looks between you two with his mouth dropped open. You, on the other hand, feel like your eyes can’t get any wider. Heat burns your face as you realize that instead of being embarrassed or flustered, Josh is glaring at your friend with a challenging look in his eye. He makes no attempt to backtrack from his words, and it’s actually kind of embarrassing that you’ve never found him hotter than you did at this moment.
“Oh… okay.” Mingyu murmurs sheepishly as he brings his hand to rub the back of his neck. “My fault, bro. I didn’t know.”
It’s almost funny how this giant football player gets so flustered at the mention of sex when you know he sleeps with some random at least once a week. You don’t get a chance to laugh because I’m the next second, Josh’s large hand is grabbing your smaller one and guiding you away from Mingyu.
The walk back to his apartment is silent and a bit tense, but you two don’t make a move to let go of each other’s hand.
Once you two are inside his room, Josh finally releases your hand and turns his shining eyes on you. There’s a thick tension between you two, but oddly enough, you don’t mind it. You usually never mind anything when it comes to Joshua Hong.
“So, when were you planning on telling me that we’ve been dating this entire time?” You wonder with a slight tilt of your head.
“I…” Josh feels his bravado from before slip away. “I didn’t plan to tell you about my feelings this way.”
He takes a deep breath and soldiers through the nerves eating away at him. “I like you, Y/N. More than I’ve ever liked anyone. It was stupid of me to try and deny it this entire time.”
It’s hard not to feel like you’re in the middle of a beautiful dream. To see Josh’s sparkling eyes looking at you with unadulterated affection makes the carnal heat in your mind snap. You grab the front of his shirt and pull him against you to press your lips against his.
The familiarity of your sweet lips on his puts Josh at ease. His movements are eager and tender, tongue grazing past your lips. Hearing you whimper makes him feel dazed and drunk.
When your hands brush against his growing bulge, Josh exhales shakily. Of course he has to give in to your unspoken request and starts to take off his clothes. It’s like second nature by this point, and before you know it, he has you spread out on his bed with his tongue shoved inside your hot cunt.
“I’ll never get tired of tasting this sweet pussy.” Josh groans, licking and sucking at your puffy clit.
Your nails graze his scalp as you shove his face deeper into your dripping cunt, desperate for release. “Feels so good, baby.”
The way you’re clenching around his tongue makes him smirk. You feel tight even on his tongue, and he can’t wait to feel you around his dick.
“You gonna come for me, pretty girl?” Josh asks with an impossibly wide smirk as your cunt sporadically clenches around his tongue. He spits on your cunt before lapping at it again, loving the loud moans you let out.
He doesn’t stop his movements until you come on his tongue. Like a starved man, he laps up every last drop of your release. Josh sits up, the remnants of your arousal covering his chin. The sight is so hot that you push him on his back and climb on top of him. You grip his cock before fully sinking down on it with a guttural moan.
“Fuck.” Josh whimpers.
You start to bounce on top of him, moaning wantonly as you feel the tip hit a spot inside you that has you seeing stars. Joshua grips your lower back and rolls you into him to help you ride his cock. His teeth gently graze one of your nipples before he takes it in his mouth. The way he licks and nips at it makes your cunt clench down on his aching cock tighter. He loves how you’re squeezing him.
“Fucking love your cock!” You moan as you start to roughly buck your hips into his.
Joshua releases your nipple with a pop and focuses on making you come again. He angles his hips just right so the fat tip of his dick slams against your cervix as he starts to fuck up into you. The action is repeated until you’re creaming around his cock. That’s all it takes for him to shoot ropes and ropes of hot cum inside your sensitive cunt.
“I’ll never get enough of you.” He says as he gently pants into your neck.
You smirk at him, as his dick twitches inside you. “Prove it.”
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taglist: @duolingofanaccount @felix-3002 @junhui-recs @asjkdk @dani41 @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @ohwonwoo
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thisismeracing · 11 months ago
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King of my heart | MS47 | Part. 23
― Pairing: Mick Schumacher x fem!hamilton!reader ― Warnings: graphic description of unprotected sex (fingering, dirty talk, and p in v), mentions of alcohol, and jealousy.  ― Summary: It the ending of the season and fans get a glimpse on Mick and Yn’s perspective. ― A/n: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛
▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ you can support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee
part. 22 | series masterlist | part 24
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November, 2023
lewishamilton
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lewishamilton You'll always be my baby sister, my bisty. I don't care how old you are, if you're dating, if you have kids of your own, or if you get married, you're forever the baby I held and knew I would protect with my life. Happy birthday theofficialyn 💙
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pierregasly Happy birthday, Hamilton baby! 🥳
⤷ hammertime_ why this is so funny to me
⤷ theofficialyn pierre 😠 hamilton baby sounds as if he’s my dad lol
ynfan my fav sibling duo 🥹💖
landonorris happy birthday to my fav brit girl! 💗💗
schumimick imagine having these genes and being born this pretty!
mickschumacher 🥹❤️
⤷ leclerccookies not even mick can’t resist baby yn!
⤷ dreiricciardo mick is the weakest for her and we know it
theofficialyn I love you, lew! thank you for always taking care of me 😭💗 my fav brother 💗
⤷ sainzfiftyfive do they have more siblings? what?
⤷ schumercedes I guess this is the joke, he’s her only brother 😂
georgerussell63 Happy birthday, Yn!!! Love you tons, please stop giving merc admin memes ideas 😘❤️
ginaschumacher
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liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, and others
ginaschumacher life gave me a little sister and I have never been so grateful. Thank you for being you, and for shining your light on everyone around you. I wish you the happiest life, Yn. I love you tons! 👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏾💘
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fan02 Is that mickyn I see? Did gina just fed us mickyn crumbs? 😭😭😭😭😭😭
mickschumacher I had no idea you took that pic haha 💜 we look cute, ily
⤷ astonmartinha GINA POSTED MICKYN 😭😭😭
theofficialyn I love you, g! You’re a gift life brought to me and I’ll cherish and keep you forever! 👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏾💞💞
⤷ burrowleclerc oh to be best friends with my boyfriend’s sister
carmenmmundt 🥹🥰 Happy bday, Yn!!! You’re such a kind soul, and it’s an honor to be your friend. Ily!
ylnrain I find it so gentle and endearing the way the schumacher and the hamiltons became close friends all because of mick and yn. like, she could just be acquaintance with gina, but they’re always seem together and they truly root for each other, you can see it. and then there’s mick and lewis who got even closer during these past few months, like…this is some romance book typa shit and I love it!
⤷ norrizzfour bestie ur rant was longer than the birthday wishes but I love that for you 😅🤣
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc I won't say you're like a sister to me or else your brother will push me off the track 🙄 but it's a pleasure to be your friend and to share the struggles and the good things of life with you. Thank you for always remembering about me with your sugary diet vegan desserts. Life is sweeter around you! Happy birthday, Yn ❤️
comments on this post have been limited
pierregasly 👍
⤷ lewisfan not pierre jealous LMAO
⤷ theofficialyn he loves you a tiiiiiny bit more than he loves me, believe me
⤷ pierregasly yeah but he never said life is sweeter around me 🤬
⤷ arthur_leclerc he did say it was funnier tho
⤷ joris_trouche 🤔🤨🤨
⤷ theofficialyn did charles told you to comment this, arthur? 🤣
⤷ charles_leclerc I’m trying to avoid a future track collision here, Yn!
⤷ landonorris you guys so dramatic 🤦‍♂️
danielricciardo Happy birthday, Yn!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🙌🏻
carlossainz55 feliz cumpleaños, hamilton! ❤️❤️
scuderiaferrari so she HAS been bringing you sweets huh?
⤷ theofficialyn they’re all healthy I promise, I even talked with the nutritionist 😇
⤷ georgerussell63 rumor has it she didn’t talk with the nutricionista
⤷ georgerussell63 but they’re all healthy anyways, calories free and all, even I eat some!!!
⤷ theofficialyn I was about to call alex to beat ur ass!
franciscac.gomes feliz aniversário, yn! 🥹🥰💗 te amo!!!
⤷ theofficialyn I love you more, kikaaaa! 💘💘
🐦‍⬛ twitter
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mickschumacher
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liked by danielricciardo, mercedesamgf1, and others
mickschumacher I am the luckiest guy for having you in my life. I still remember the first time I saw you, and to this day I still feel all giddy whenever you walk into the room. I wanna spend the rest of my life by your side, smiling, laughing, crying, talking, sharing every moment. I wish you the happiest birthday, and an even happier life, Schatzi. I love you 💛 here’s to many more birthdays together
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ynsunshine the mickey shirt 😭
⤷ spanishgp23 isn’t that how yn calls him?
⤷ ynsunshine exactly!!!!! 😭
estebanocon happy birthday, yn!! 🩵🩵🩵
mercedesamgf1 happy birthday to the merc’s garage sunshine 💓
theofficialyn forever 💗
🐦‍⬛ twitter
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📸 instagram
theofficialyn
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liked by exudoblues, pierregasly, and others
theofficialyn had a great time in Brazil with some even greater people 💛💚💙🤍
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brunamarquezine te amooooo! 🩵🩵 (Ily)
keepupwthehamiltons I saw yn was with Iza too, and I’m manifesting something between iza and lewis like 😩😩 they would be so powerful together
mickschumacher ❤️
satelliteferrari mick showing up twice 🥰 she really said MY man
lewishamilton thank you for always having my back 💙
⤷ theofficialyn you’re my forever number 1! Love you, lew 😘
⤷ hamiltonsiblings my forever number 1 😀🥲☹️😭 meanwhile my brother calls me ugly in every possible language
1directiontrack I say give Yn the citizen title too 🇧🇷
mickschumacher
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liked by estebanocon, lancestroll, and others
mickschumacher vegas, baby! 😚
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gaslightgasly I wonder if the last pic isnt a soft launch for his new seat next year 👀
⤷ schumicedes I haven’t thought about it, but it makes sense…
mickynshipper I love how they’re the center of each others posts 😩💗
sainzleclerc God, I’ve seen what you done for others 🙇‍♀️
estebanocon I like the new haircut 😎
gaslybestie I can’t be the only one who had some very age restricted thoughts with the fourth pic…
⤷ vettelforever oh you’re def not alone on this train bestie
porscheschumi I am invested on this porsche 2024 mick!! omg omg
December, 2023
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📸 instagram
theofficialyn & mickschumacher
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theofficialyn it's the most beautiful time of the year 😍❤️🎄
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lewishamilton sickenly cute, but ily 🤍
ginaschumacher its even prettier sharing it with you guys 💚
ynfan2 the way they're always included in each other's dump is so wholesome, I bet they waited way too long to do it, and now it must feel liberating
⤷ russellsainz they're showing off but I would too if I dated one of them
estebanocon merry xmas!! 🎅
sunnyyn its their first Christmas together I'm crying pls
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────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, lovelies! I hope you liked this quick chapter, we're about to reach the last one and I'm a bit nervoussss hihi Let me know your thoughts on this chapter and komh in general *mwah*.  
If you liked this piece and want early access to new ones and exclusive access to others, subscribe to my patreon!💘
▸ check my main masterlist | patreon guide and my taglist.
taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @v1naco @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @goldenalbon @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @skepvids @bbreezybitch @graciewrote @ferrariloverr @heelariously @thatgibbsygirl @minkyungseokie @scopeiguess @princewis @leclercsluv @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch @barcelonaloverf1life @noncannonships @fanboyluvr
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dumbbitchawards · 1 year ago
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Love con o'neill's instagram. 50% blurry dog selfies and 50% thirst traps. That's a real man
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laurrelise · 26 days ago
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i’m rewatching tua season 4 because i guess i once again need confirmation that it’s just as bad as i remember …
but ive been told im too negative about the season on more than one occasion so im going to be positive and name a bunch of things i like about each episode of the final season!! <3
warning: this post is decent sized lol
today we are tackling: episode 2
i do love the beginning montage of the siblings all being sick while simultaneously using their powers to improve their own daily agendas if only it featured more than just 3 of the siblings…?
i love five’s assistant twink and also how he’s called mr. five at the grand old age of 19 years old (i know he’s 64 but shut up)
lila’s eyeball lasers and the rubber ducky
luther being devastated over the place being “destroyed” even when it was a literal shithole to start off with
viktor finding his VOICE. viktor with CONFIDENCE. i love you viktor “ill kick your ass right now” hargreeves. king, you are 4 feet tall, but eat him tf up
“why is it cold” “the real question is, why would you touch it”
five slapping diego’s hand out of the way and him not even trying to fight it is so them and i love it
viktor actually attempting to kick ben’s ass (and as much as he looks like a feral little gremlin, i love it)
luther’s “DUDE! I LIVE HERE” he’s such a grumpus
also viktor’s little speech about him building a life for himself and it all being fucked over because of ben’s dumb ass
“i could’ve lost my job!” “did you?” “wh-” and five looking up at him with wide eyes and genuine curiosity. not the time king but thanks for asking
allison eating ben tf up and klaus supporting her
“i’m not going back to that old klaus. i like this klaus! hey, he collects coupons! he’s frugal, respectable, reliable, and most importantly, he’s a klaus that claire likes. and trusts and looks up to.” THIS IS SO SAD I LOVE HIM
diego pulling ben back to the couch by his hair is such brother behavior
i do love the wanda van. she’s truly iconic
will forever love that five gets the front seat because he’s the old man. if i were his sibling i wouldn’t even try to take it. shotgun is for the senior citizen
the gag about baby shark not being able to stop playing for the entire several-hour long road trip is pretty alright comedy-wise i guess although it would’ve been much funnier if baby shark wasn’t the main goddamn song in the entire season’s soundtrack
i will never shut up about how much i love the love-hate banter from all of the siblings. the actors did such an amazing job bringing the dysfunctional family back to life.
ben getting humbled in the diner was pretty satisfying. sparrow ben i’ve never been your biggest fan but you’ve grown on me
luther’s mention of sloane is so sweet if only she’d been mentioned more than twice
luther is generally adorable i love that man
viktor saying “phones work both ways, yknow” when allison said he didn’t call. i love how much confidence he’s found in himself this season, quite possibly one of the only characters who wasn’t horribly assassinated trait-wise
diego throwing the axes, i love him. also lila’s unimpressed reaction always gets me
klaus with the TAROT CARDS!!!!!! yes please i wish he’d used them more
i do actually like jennifer’s character. the truman-show town thing was so interesting even if it had relatively no effect on the plot for the rest of the season, it had potential but i love that jen matches ben’s freak in the sense that she is absolutely not afraid to call him out on his bullshit
old man five trying to blink :( so sad poor guy
also five immediately pretending to stretch when lila calls him out
once again i love lila and five’s reluctant alliance. why couldn’t they just continue being frenemies for the love of god
five noticing the singular guy looking at them and mentioning it to diego and lila and she says “maybe he likes you” STEVE BLACKMAN YOU COULD’VE PUT FIVE WITH ANYONE ELSE. STEVE BLACKMAN WE COULD’VE HAD A ROMANCE BETWEEN FIVE AND THE ELF STARING AT HIM AND IT WOULD’VE BEEN BETTER THAN FIVE X LILA. STEVE BLACKMAN WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME
ben defending jennifer awwwww
five’s subway station to different timelines will go down as being endlessly awesome if only it hadn’t been created solely so steve blackman could fulfill his own weird ass ideas
diego and lila once again trying to convince the other to let them save the day is a very often-overlooked sign of love that i refuse to ignore. they do it like 3 times in the show and it gets me every time
“i have laser eyes im more powerful than you!” “they’re not even working right now!” “they’re gonna work i feel it they’re gonna work!!!!” lila i love you you’re so cute
“I TOOK OUT THE TRASH” hey btw diego it’s not the time
ok but diego’s flip where he redirects all the bullets… idk how i completely forgot about that part (probably because i was busy thinking about all of the other things that i hated) but it was SO fucking awesome stfu
diego and lila collecting reindeer stuffies for the kids even while they’re fighting for their lives is still so adorable
klaus’ positive affirmations. klaus I LOVE YOU
klaus accidentally finding a fake jennifer is so on brand for him NVM HOW DID I FORGET THAT SHE LITERALLY SHOOTS KLAUS
i LOVE the part where luther’s shielding allison and viktor from the bullets. especially when viktor tears out of his grasp like a feral little gremlin and takes out half of the shooters
still don’t know what the hell allison’s power is???? is it the rumor thing except she only has to think it instead of saying it?!!? idk but it’s cool i guess just wish it was explained more!!!!!!
luther’s “i should’ve known, those sconces were too perfect” he’s all upset but i can’t help but smile he’s literally a 5 year old
the car flip is so fucking cool. the glass flying around the van around everybody is so good, the “carol of the bells” is so menacing and simple, five absolutely serving while everyone else is screaming and flinging around in the back
ALSO DIEGO’S ARM GOING OUT TO PROTECT FIVE. fuck i love them so much. STEVE BLACKMAN FUCK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO FIVE AND DIEGO
jennifer’s little “help me, ben” as she gets carried away is so tragic oh my god. and his little reach out to her as she’s taken. fuck
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, jean and gene are such phenomenal villains. nick offerman and megan mulally are phenomenal actors. christ on a cracker why couldn’t they have been utilized in a plot that was actually written well
and that’s the end of the episode! only positivity around here folks! :)
just kidding here’s some of the tiny little things i caught that i don’t like / that make literally zero sense
luther screaming “no! no! no” when his monkey body is back (for some fucking reason???) is so heartbreaking the poor guy hated himself 💔
i love the whole subway station thing but how the hell did five accidentally blink into the station when he was just running but couldn’t when he was genuinely trying lmfao
it’s absolutely wild that five deadass blinked accidentally and then just hopped on the subway even though he was just running for his life. if the writers genuinely believed five wouldn’t have immediately returned to help his family and checked out the subway later then they need to be fired immediately. thanks
it will never not be funny to me that literally every single person in the town has a huge gun. was that much security really necessary 😭
the part where klaus dies and they give him marigold even though he stressed 100% that he didn’t want it makes me so sad. i get why they did it (he literally would’ve died if they hadn’t) but the panic in allison’s voice as she holds her dying brother and tries to figure out if it’s right to give it to him against his will is so heartbreaking
KLAUS’ “what did you do?” WHEN HE REALIZES HE’S GOT HIS POWERS BACK IM SOBBING
ok and that’s the end
the first couple of episodes weren’t too terrible in my opinion? so it’s understandable that i’d find plenty more things i liked than i disliked in this episode. also all the things i pointed out that i liked were tiny little details when most of the season’s flaws imo were huge arcs / plot points that span multiple episodes so they might not be as relevant in a post of this format !!
might do this when i watch the rest of the seasons to truly identify if i really am too hard on this season (i don’t believe i am considering how many much smarter people have also stressed the issues with this season but it was fun so i might do it anyways)
anyways thanks for reading goodbye
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ghostiezone · 2 years ago
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hello marble hornets fandom 
(tags from this courtesy of @catboyhazard and @corvus-woodfordi you guys gotta stop being funnier than me on my own post)
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months ago
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WIBTA for forcing my older sibling to join me for a therapist session? I (FtM22) have an older sibling (M25) who is autistic. One of his struggles is lack of empathy, while I am overly empathetic (also autistic). He has like two friends ever and he calls them his "real siblings" and I think it's because he has trouble making friends so he will do ANYTHING for these two friends. One of them would physically beat me up whenever they saw me but my mom didn't ban that person from our house because my brother had a meltdown when my mom suggested it. Because of this and the fact that I refused to watch his special interest tv show, he ignores me. Since I am his blood sibling, I guess he thinks our relationship is assured and that he doesn't have to put any time or effort in maintaining our relationship? I have more internet clout then him but he wants to be an internet celebrity so the only time he's not ignoring me is when he can film me saying something stupid. Like he pressured me into drinking and started quizzing me about trivia and filmed me getting the answers wrong and posted it. It was a real struggle to get him to take the video down. Not very funny. He does this all the time. Over half of his tiktoks are just him secretly filming me. Or he pays me to write jokes for him to say on his twitch streams because his chat thinks I'm funnier. I go along with it because I don't really care about my internet followers I just desperately want my older brother to pay attention to me and acknowledge me as his younger brother. As long as I am more popular than him he'll keep paying attention to me. I've asked him to please stop telling his followers that his friends are his "real" siblings and to stop calling me his "legal" sibling. We are NOT step siblings we have the same parents. He has ignored these requests and says there's nothing wrong with it. He has a therapist and so do I but when I asked if he would be willing to have a joint session with his therapist he refused. I just really want to sit him down and explain that he can't treat me badly just because I'm his blood sibling. There are plenty of siblings IRL that go No Contact and if he keeps being mean to me I will head out. I also want him to stop using me for internet clout and talk to me for other reasons than his own personal gain. However trying to tell him this makes him "overwhelmed" and he has to immediately leave the room five words in and if I don't let him leave he'll start screaming or on one occasion, threatened to out me as trans to our transphobic abusive father (I'm not out of the closet yet). I can't imagine a single way to get my feelings across without a therapist being there. WIBTA if I persuaded my parents to force him into a therapy session with me? I'm willing to take the risk of him outing me to our dad I just want my brother to treat me like a friend and not someone he can steamroll over because I'm "forced" to love him. However I am aware that he has a lot of issues and that maybe I'm forcing him to acknowledge some truths that he isn't ready for? Part of why he treats his two friends like gold is because those relationships are really important to him and he knows friendships can degrade. If I show him that our relationship is degrading, will that make him insecure or worse?
What are these acronyms?
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merriclo · 1 month ago
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finally. an answer. that’s who he is
i went a shocking amount of time without realizing that there were Bungo Stray Dogs movies as well, and so every time i saw art of Shibusawa i was so confused. i knew he was important but i had no idea why, so i just sat there like who in the world is this? the real antagonist? some side character people latched on to for some reason? the burger king ? i was left without answers for months.. dark dark times
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weirdmarioenemies · 1 year ago
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I am going to rank more of the Super Mario Galaxies and none of you can stop me
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Some galaxies are destined for greatness. But not all of them. Some galaxies are destined for pretty goodness, and that's okay. It's unfair to hold everyone to such absurdly high standards.
Those are the galaxies we're gonna talk about today! We've reached the B-tiers on this Galaxy Tier List, and we're gonna talk about them all today!
In case you missed the first post (which you can read here!), I'm doing a tier list of all the Galaxies in the Super Mario Galaxy series, and releasing a new entry every Sunday until we've covered them all. Forget about Church. This is what Sundays were truly made for.
My opinions don't necessarily reflect every member of the blog (there's like seven of us!), and they may not reflect your own either. If you disagree, that's totally cool.
72. Wild Glide Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: B
Kicking off today's list, we have the Wild Glide Galaxy, another Motion Control Minigame, yippee! Gone are the days of ray surfing and bubble blowing (but not Star Ball rolling. that's still around), now we have a funny bird named Fluzzard, and even funnier birds named the Jibberjays!
The Wild Glide Galaxy is pretty alright. The motion control minigames are rarely really the highlight for me in the Mario Galaxy games, but for what it's worth, I think gliding with Fluzzard controls alright, and I really like the optional challenge of flying through the rings for the Comet Medal. There's not really anything wrong with Wild Glide Galaxy at all, it's just a little ho-hum, but that's okay. I mean, it's the tutorial for this type of gameplay, what are you supposed to expect?
That being said, there's a later Fluzzard gliding galaxy that's way cooler. Like, way cooler. We'll talk about that next week.
71. Bowser Jr.'s Airship Armada
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
Did you know? If you put enough flying boats in one place, that's legally a Galaxy. I don't make the rules, I only follow them.
Yeah, these games have a pretty loose definition about what constitutes a "Galaxy"...
Anyway, I don't have an awful lot to say about Bowser Jr.'s Airship Armada. It's solid! I definitely prefer the first half with the cannons more than the second half with the autoscroller, though because of Speedrun Strats, I usually end up skipping the first half anyway... Did you know that? You can just blast yourself to one of the later airships and it totally works! I wonder if skipping the more fun part of the level diminishes my opinion of it, though...
That being said, Galaxy 2 kinda went and gave Bowser Jr. both a better "Airship autoscroller" level, and a better "blast yourself places with cannons" level, so the Airship Armada kinda loses out on that regard. Combine that with a Decent boss fight, and the Spranglers that always mess me up on the autoscroller (which I will admit is a Skill Issue!) and we end up with a mission that's fine, but I'm a little lukewarm on.
70. Honeyhop Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: B
Is it just me, or is Honeyhop Galaxy the most forgettable galaxy in Super Mario Galaxy 2? I dunno, I think it's something about the repeated theme without really bringing anything new to the table, besides I guess one segment that brings back the Floaty Fluff from Gusty Garden Galaxy. It kinda just feels like a Honeyhive Galaxy retread, but a bit more condensed.
And that's not necessarily a bad thing to be, Honeyhive Galaxy is a really good one after all, it just makes all of Honeyhop Galaxy feel like something I've seen before. And I don't think the smaller scale really helps, since the large scale is part of what I love about the Honeyhive in the first place!
I feel like I'm being a bit too negative here, so I should probably re-iterate: while this galaxy feels like a bit of a retread, the stuff it's retreading is pretty fun, so I can't really hate it. I just wish they'd find more new things to do with the Bee Mushroom, that's all!
69 (nice). Bubble Breeze Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
And here's another Motion Control Minigame, this time taking advantage of the Wii's pointer! It is your job to blow Mario around in a bubble, but don't let the bubble pop! Because most of this galaxy is a poison swamp which is frankly, Not Healthy To Digest. Do you know why all the crayons you see are non-toxic? Because they melted all the toxic ones to make Bubble Breeze Galaxy, that's why.
Anyway, this galaxy summarizes my thoughts on the bubble minigame: I like it, I don't love it, I'm not too upset that it didn't return in Galaxy 2, but I wouldn't mind if it did. I question how much of this Galaxy ranking so low is the atmosphere, "poison swamp" can be just kind of a dreary thing to look at for too long, though maybe it's just that the minigame can feel a little sluggish since you need to be so precise. It's not too hard, even, just a little time consuming.
I feel if I liked this galaxy just a bit more, I probably wouldn't always take the Speedrun Strat of backflipping to reach an invisible platform behind the checkpoint, from which you can long jump to the Power Star and just completely skip the second half of the level.
68. Flash Black Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: B
I don't know what it says that the lowest-ranking Super Mario Galaxy 2 Hungry Luma galaxy got a higher spot than all but one of the first game's Hungry Luma galaxies. I mean, besides "the first game's Hungry Luma galaxies aren't very good".
Flash Black Galaxy is a galaxy built around a solid gimmick, where the level is too dark to see outside of brief flashes that appear in-time with the music. Stuff like objects and enemies can always be seen which can clue you in to where things are, but otherwise, it's testing your memory, which is cool. I don't think it's the best one-off gimmick, but for a single level, it's definitely a respectable one.
I don't know if I really have much more to say about Flash Black Galaxy. It's pretty much defined by its gimmick, which I consider "good but not great". Makes interesting use of your memory, but slows down the pacing a little, but ultimately the galaxy is short enough that it doesn't ever overstay its welcome. Respectable B-tier.
I originally had it way higher (at 54th place, if you can believe it!) but after writing about it, I found I didn't care about it as much as I thought I did. Sorry.
Don't confuse this with the Throwback Galaxy. We'll talk about that next week.
67. Rolling Green Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
And here's the last of the galaxies that introduces a motion control minigame! I honestly kinda like the Star Ball, it hits a nice balance where it can be a bit tricky to get the hang of, but never really feels like something you don't have control over, which I can't really say about the ray surfing. There's a really fun sense of momentum there, it does a really good job of capturing the feeling of balancing on a ball, not that I know what that feels like...
Makes sense this was the only of the three minigames that returns in the sequel, it's easier to control than the mantas, but never gives you so much control it can feel kinda boring, like the bubbles. As for Rolling Green Galaxy itself, it's kinda what you expect for a level that introduces a mechanic. It's a bit basic, but not necessarily bad, and I like that it offers a few optional challenges on the sides. It also escalates pretty nicely, first giving you areas with fences so you can get acclimated to the controls, then wide open areas without fences, and then having you navigate around holes and islands, I really like that.
I'm probably still gonna dock it a bit for being a bit basic, but as a tutorial, I think it's pretty well designed, and I definitely have to give it props for that. Still, there are definitely other galaxies that I feel have made better use of this mechanic...
66. Rolling Gizmo Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
That being said, I think the "challenge version" of Rolling Green Galaxy, Rolling Gizmo Galaxy, is only slightly better, if not basically equal to Rolling Green.
I think this is pretty well designed as a more challenging follow-up, making you navigate through tighter spaces, rotating platforms, and overall forcing the player into a bit more careful play. It definitely serves well as that "final test" of the Star Ball minigame, testing how well you're able to handle its control scheme.
That being said, I feel that by being more challenging, Rolling Gizmo loses some of what makes the Star Ball missions so fun, you have to take it at such a steady pace that you never really get a chance to build momentum, which is kind of a bummer. Rolling Gizmo Galaxy doesn't really give you the same level of freedom that Rolling Green Galaxy gives, even in terms of alternate routes, so I'm gonna dock some points for that. Still appreciate the added challenge, though!
65. Gateway Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
For what it's worth, if this was a list of galaxies ranked by the order you play them in, this would rank first.
Gateway Galaxy is your tutorial to Super Mario Galaxy, and I think it does a nice job at that. Chasing bunnies is probably never gonna be my favorite thing in the world, but it's a nice way to get the player accustomed to walking around a sphere, and unlike some galaxies, there's no strict time limit, and the bunnies will politely inform you where others might be hiding. It would be kinda unfair if they didn't. This is the tutorial.
And I really like that it eventually extends into a proper "mission," letting you travel between planets, and introducing you to some of the game's mechanics, like collecting Star Chips, spinning to defeat enemies, and activating (or de-activating?) flipswitches. I also really like how you can't return to this galaxy until much later in the game, I think it's a nice way to show you how far you've come, or something like that, I don't really know. I'm not the most graceful with my words!
That being said, I need to be upfront: the Red Star power-up and I have never gotten along. I always felt the flying controls with it were super weird, even if it gives you a lot of freedom! I may as well mention it here, since it never shows up anywhere else...
Anyway, I picked that picture because of this Jacob Geller video, which all of you should watch, by the way.
64. Bowser's Lava Lair
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: B
Bowser building a lava-themed Galaxy? How unexpected...! I wonder what tricks he'll bring next?
Bowser's Lava Lair is a pretty solid, if not slightly forgettable, boss stage. It has all the sorts of things you'd expect from a Bowser stage, really, stone buildings, lava, members of the -omp family, and of course, a boss fight against the Man Himself. It also marks the debut of Mattermouths, which catches me off guard a little even though I totally know they're in this galaxy. They seem like such a Haunty Halls debut to me!
Not a lot to say about Bowser's Lava Lair really, it's solid, but a bit by-the-books, which is why it didn't score any higher. Maybe Bowser could take a few lessons from his son when it comes to designing memorable boss levels...
...That statement feels really weird given both "boss levels" we've covered thus far are from Bowser Jr., but I promise, he gets some really good ones in Galaxy 2.
63. Starshine Beach Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: B
Oh hey, it's that galaxy that sort of vaguely references Super Mario Sunshine! It has Beach, it has Chucksters... it has those lily pad rafts? I think Sunshine had those. Really, throw Piantas in any sort of tropical area and you can probably pass it off as a Sunshine reference.
Starshine Beach Galaxy I feel is one of those galaxies that suffers a little bit from Super Mario Galaxy 2's more compact level design. It's kinda big, kinda flat, and kinda empty. I wouldn't say it's a significantly worse galaxy than Beach Bowl, there are some fun missions here, but if you compare the two, Beach Bowl just feels a lot more Alive to me, you know? This galaxy has like, three towers, a Pianta statue, and a whole lot of tiny islands and shallow water between. The level design in Galaxy 2 is a bit more linear, and in a more open galaxy like this one, it shows.
Still, this place is still plenty fun. The Cloud Flower is always a delight to use, and it's nice to have more exploration-oriented missions in the sequel. I just wish there was more to see when exploring, that's all!
62. Bowser's Gravity Gauntlet
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: B
There are not a lot of good images of this galaxy on the Super Mario Wiki, huh?
Admittedly, originally I had this a good bit lower, where Bubble Breeze Galaxy is right now. Then I looked it over and was like "actually, this one's cooler than that" and moved it up like six places.
I think this suffers some of the same issues as Bowser's Lava Lair, where it feels a smidge generic -- I mean, making your lair Gravity Themed in the game where every level is Gravity Themed? Come on. But after looking back at it, they do some cool things with that gimmick, particularly in the 2D area, where the lack of changing perspective really helps emphasize the weird gravity in this place. I love details like Podoboos jumping out of a pool of lava on the wall and into one on the ceiling, that's really neat.
Still, I think they could've pushed the gimmick a little further, and with some of the entries later on this list (including a Bowser level that occupies the exact same position in the first game!), I feel like they have a lot more fun with 2D gravity shenanigans.
61. Gusty Garden Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
Man, this one hurts. You don't know how much it pains me to put Gusty Garden in B-tier. I mean, it's like, one of the Super Mario Galaxies! It has The Music! How can I hate it?!
Well, if you're taking a B-tier placement as me "hating" something, then your standards are way too high, because I like Gusty Garden Galaxy! That being said, this is a video game old enough to drive a car now, so I'm allowed to be honest about it, and if I'm being honest... the music does a lot of heavy lifting in this galaxy.
Not that the galaxy is bad by any stretch of the imagination, there's lots of fun moments here, like the weird question mark planets, the giant caterpillar that eats through the apple asteroids, and probably the best bunny chase across both games. That being said... Gusty Garden feels a bit small-scale, you know? I feel there's not a lot of room to explore in Gusty Garden, most of the planets are pretty small-scale, and the level structure is a bit more linear than a lot of other galaxies in the first game...
Of course, being linear isn't necessarily a bad thing, a lot of galaxies in the sequel are similarly linear, so why should I count that against Gusty Garden? Well, my issue with Gusty Garden is that a lot of the planetoids end up feeling pretty samey. You go to a small planetoid, kill some Piranha Plants and Monties, and then take a vine or a Floaty Fluff to the next planetoid, rinse and repeat. There's not really much of a sense of escalation here, you know what I mean?
Also there's the fact the third mission is so weirdly out-of-place. It's not a bad mission at all, I think it's a cool level with a cool gimmick, it just doesn't really quell my feeling that Gusty Garden feels like it was cobbled together from bits of other galaxies that were getting a little too big.
I don't want to badmouth Gusty Garden Galaxy too much, because I still have plenty of fun here, and honestly, I always look forwards to it in a Galaxy run! "The music does a lot of heavy lifting" might seem like a defamatory statement, and to some extent I guess it is, but I also think it shows just how much stuff like aesthetics and sound design really matter in the grand scheme of things. Without it, Gusty Garden Galaxy may have felt pretty forgettable, but because of it, it creates an experience that frankly feels like more than the sum of its parts.
60. Beach Bowl Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
Did you know? "B" is for Beach Bowl. I just thought you should know that. Beach Bowl Galaxy is a respectable underwater galaxy with a really cool setpiece. I just love the way this galaxy looks, the huge bowl with water pouring out is a really neat visual, and the Beach Vibes are just on point here. Not pictured is the underwater section, which is decently detailed all things considered. I'd probably visit the Beach Bowl Galaxy if it was a vacation spot in real life.
As a gameplay experience? Beach Bowl is alright. As I've mentioned before, the underwater controls can feel a bit jank to me, which I think drags it down a bit, but I also feel like it's a very nice galaxy to just Explore, which admittedly is something I think the second game is a bit lacking in. Obviously the Galaxy games are a bit more linear than the 3D games that came before, but I feel the first Galaxy hits a nice middle ground for me, giving enough room to goof off while still giving a clear objective to move towards, and Beach Bowl is great in that regard.
The main thing holding Beach Bowl down a bit, besides the controls, is a couple of the missions. The second main mission here, where you grab the Golden Shell from a penguin and take it to the penguin coach, is one of the most pointless in the game, and this galaxy also possibly has my least favorite purple coin mission. I'm not even the biggest detractor of the Spring Mushroom out there, but making it mandatory to grab Purple Coins placed right next to the edge feels cruel. And while I complain about the underwater controls sometimes, you surely could've placed more than five coins underwater, right?
The rest of the missions are alright, though. I think the one where you look for Star Chips takes nice advantage of letting you explore a bit, and I generally enjoy this iteration of the Stone Cyclone, and even the 2x faster version! Still don't like the 4x faster version from the second game, sorry.
I think it's funny that the penguins are associated largely with tropical galaxies in these games. Why is that?
59. Supermassive Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: B
"We grow 'em big here! Watch out!"
Supermassive Galaxy feels like a fun "novelty galaxy" to me, if that makes any sort of sense. What if Mario... but Big? Well, not Mario himself. You're one of the only things in this Galaxy that isn't big. Sorry! This leads to a lot of fun details, though, like the giant Lumas that speak in Big Letters and have a low-pitched voice, or the coin that's so big, you can wall jump off of it.
I wonder if they could've taken it further. Like, there are no oversized Star Bits here! That is a STAPLE of Super Mario Galaxy Level Design. The funniest thing they could do would make the Power Stars in this galaxy into Grand Stars, but I get those are reserved for boss missions.
It's also clever to use this as a place that properly introduces long jumps as a mechanic. Did any galaxy in the first game do that? I'm not sure if any of them did. But the framing of "Mario needs to do BIG JUMPS to make it past gaps in this oversized galaxy" is really fun.
Really, and this is a goofy nitpick, but I think what brings down this galaxy for me is the aesthetics, which kind of end up being a double-edged sword. I think the "generic Mario objects, but Big" is the best way to emphasize this galaxy's theme, but it also feels well... generic. After the Big gimmick, this galaxy isn't really all that interesting to look at. Might also have something to do with how linear it is. Despite everything in this galaxy being huge, there's not an awful lot of room to just goof off and have fun, which I feel is a bit of a missed opportunity.
58. Bowser Jr.'s Robot Reactor
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
Megaleg I think is one of the coolest bosses across both games, and such a clever usage of these games' gravity mechanics. Megaleg is also pretty much all there is in this galaxy, and I'm not sure if I should count that for or against this one.
It's like, Megaleg doesn't have a lot of buildup. You have one small planet that serves as a tutorial for using Bullet Bills to break glass, and that's really it. I generally prefer galaxies that are a bit bigger in scope, so I definitely feel like I'm gonna dock some points for that. I feel like a boss this cool could benefit from a bit more buildup, you know?
On the other hand, I think that's kinda unfair. This is the first boss level in the game, it doesn't need to be overly complex, showing how the boss works and then doing the boss itself is really all you need, and again, I really like Megaleg as a boss, even if after once you reach the top there's not that much going on anymore.
I guess the takeaway is... these rankings are mostly based on my personal enjoyment, and less so of how Objectively Well-Designed I think the mission is. The difference between "the best" of a group and "my favorite" of a group can be an important one!
57. Bowser Jr.'s Fiery Flotilla
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: B
Another case of "this Galaxy is basically in the exact same position as the one before it, and it does some things better, and some things worse". For starters, I don't think Gobblegut is quite as cool as Megaleg. Don't get me wrong, Gobblegut is still cool, and arguably more mechanically interesting, I like how there's an incentive to destroy the later bulges earlier on so the boss is easier in the later phases when Gobblegut speeds up, in exchange for a more difficult earlygame. Still, I don't know if it's as cool as climbing up a giant robot.
The Fiery Flotilla also has a bit more buildup than the Robot Reactor, which I really appreciate. You know I enjoy a little bit of platforming before I take on the Big Boss! Still, the platforming is on the basic side (again, first Boss Level) and unlike Megaleg, the buildup doesn't really tie into the boss at all, you know? Like, "spin the big red orbs" isn't a really tough thing to figure out, especially when they're highlighted in Bowser Jr.'s dialogue, but it does create a situation where the game tells you what to do instead of priming you for it.
Does some things a little better, some things a little worse, so I think it's about equal. Gonna give it the edge because I like having the platforming at the beginning, and also because Galaxy 2 gives each galaxy more than one mission. There's a Gobblegut Daredevil Run! Wish we could've gotten one of those for Megaleg.
56. Sweet Sweet Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
What's that? A good Hungry Luma galaxy from the first game? I never thought I'd see the day...! It's also uh, the only good one in my opinion, given we covered all the rest in the previous post. It's also the first Hungry Luma galaxy in the game, so it's all downhill from here.
But yeah, I like Sweet Sweet Galaxy! I don't know if I'd say I love it, or else I'd probably put it a bit higher, but I enjoy it. I think it has a really nice sense of iterative level design, you know? It takes one idea (moving conveyors with holes in the floor) and riffs on it in different ways up until the very end. First you have a conveyor moving towards the goal, then you have the ones moving left and right, then you have the rotating floor, and then you have the one moving away from the goal. Sweet Sweet Galaxy has a pretty nice sense of escalation.
I also remember finding it weirdly challenging as a kid, for how early in the game it is. It's not brutal or anything, we're not looking at the Dark Souls of Mario Galaxies here, but especially in that rotating floor segment it can be hard to tell where the holes are gonna be.
It's still a little short and linear, but for a small "bonus mission", I think that's ultimately fine, especially for the first Hungry Luma galaxy in the game. Congratulations, Sweet Sweet Galaxy! You might have what it takes to hang out with the Super Mario Galaxy 2 Hungry Luma galaxies!
55. Bubble Blast Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
Did you know? "B" is for Bubble Blast. I just thought you should know that.
Congratulations to Bubble Blast Galaxy, which I personally consider the best of the three Trial Galaxies. As I stated, I can sort of take or leave the bubble minigame, which is why this isn't gonna rank any higher, but as far as it goes, I think this galaxy makes really good usage of it. The obstacles presented feel decently varied, and often require a nice blend of precision with quick reaction timing due to all the moving parts. It's really nifty, both on its own, and as an escalation of what we saw in Bubble Breeze.
Especially great is the bit towards the end, where you have to make your way down a tight corridor of electric fences while being chased by Bullet Bills, forcing you to act quick in a minigame that usually requires a lot of precision. Is it a little unfair? Maybe just a little, but it makes for an exciting sequence that works really well as a final test of your bubble-blowing skills.
Up next, we're going to be testing your jellyfishing and patty-flipping skills, so watch out!
54. Dusty Dune Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
Dusty Dune Galaxy is a weird one to me. It's like, whenever I reach it in the game, I don't really feel like playing it, but once I get around to playing it, it's actually pretty fun! I'm not really sure if there's a mission here I don't like playing, I like the Bone Twisters, I like the sand slides, I like the rush for the star in the sinking tower. Even the untimed purple coin mission is one of the better ones! This galaxy is honestly pretty consistently solid.
So like, why am I not Feeling It? Why is it that when I get to this galaxy in a playthrough, I'm always overcome by this feeling of "yeah, alright"?
I think Dusty Dune might have a reverse Gusty Garden Situation going on, where it has great ideas held back a little bit by so-so music and theming. And make no mistake: it's not that "desert" can't be an interesting theme, because it really can be! (We'll see the sequel's desert galaxy in a couple weeks!) But it's generic desert, you know? Where they kinda slap any vague "desert stuff" together and call it a day. This is a desert with both Egyptian pyramids and cacti! Despite what Mr. Video Game might tell you, those don't appear in the same deserts in the Real World.
I feel like if they leaned hard in one particular direction, Dusty Dune Galaxy could be really cool, but as it stands it sort of suffers "Generic Video Game Desert Syndrome" where it lacks a clear sense of identity to make it stand out more.
53. Sweet Mystery Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: B
The Bulb Berry is a neat power-up, the more I think about it, it feels like a new spin of the Matter Splatter Galaxy from the first game, where what you see is all that's there, but with a bit more player control. I honestly think the lack of control makes Matter Splatter a bit more interesting to me, but I can see why someone else would like this take more.
If you couldn't tell already, Sweet Mystery Galaxy is largely built around this power-up, making for the second sweets-themed Hungry Luma Galaxy, though that's pretty much all the two have in common, because the gimmicks are completely different. Honestly I think the Bulb Berry is a little under-utilized, the only other galaxy I remember using it is Haunty Halls, which is its introduction.
A benefit Sweet Mystery has for being the second level with this power-up is they can play around with it a bit more, using it with stuff like moving platforms, and having optional challenges which can be rewarding, but run out your timer a bit, limiting both your field of view, which also corresponds with limiting knowing where you can stand! It's nifty.
The main weakness of this galaxy I think is once again an aesthetic one. There's not an awful lot of background details, and since it's built around the Bulb Berry, you can't see much of it at once. There's not a lot to see here, besides that giant present with the cake in it at the end. It's another galaxy that sort of shows the sequel's weakness when it comes to making more detailed environments.
52. Gold Leaf Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: B
As I've stated before, I'm gonna dock some points for reused content. Like, if you're gonna repeat any galaxy, then Honeyhive is a good one, but it can always be a little bit of a letdown to go to a new galaxy and realize it's a place I've already seen before, but with a fresh coat of paint. Especially given it's in the same game as its counterpart! But in this case, I'll mostly let it slide. I like getting to see Honeyhive in gorgeous autumn colors, and for what it's worth, the missions here are all pretty unique.
The Star Bunny mission is kinda whatever, given I've made my stance on bunny chases pretty clear at this point, and the rest of the mission is kinda just exploring a place we've already seen, but the rest of the missions fare a bit better. What can I say! I like Cataquacks and I like that obstacle course. I think building the Cosmic Mario and Purple Coin missions around the obstacle course was a smart idea too, since it helps make the galaxy feel more distinctive.
Being Honeyhive 2 ends up being a double-edged sword, since it kinda takes away from Gold Leaf Galaxy having a more distinct identity, but it does enough of its own that I'll let it slide, and it's also not like I'm gonna complain about getting more missions in a top-10 galaxy.
I guess that's a spoiler for a future review. Look forward to seeing where in the top 10 I put it!
51. Freezy Flake Galaxy
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Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: B
Autumn turns to winter as we talk about our final galaxy of the day! Freezy Flake Galaxy is a delightful little snowscape that lets you indulge in all the fun of a snowy winter day without any of the icy roads or dismal temperatures of actual snowy winter days. Unless you're playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 in a car sliding down an icy road with all the windows rolled down. Why are you doing that?
Anyway, I think that above all else, Freezy Flake Galaxy feels charming to me, you know? You get to run around in the snow and roll snowballs and incinerate snow statues of Bowser with the Fire Flower! All the things you'd do on your typical winter day. I especially love in the second mission where you get the Rock Mushroom, and get to watch snow build up in your boulder form, it's such a cute touch! I wish we got to do more with the Rock Mushroom, it's kinda ditched past the first planet in favor of the Sorbetti boss fight. I wonder if this galaxy would benefit from the three-mission format of the first game?
My only real complaint about Freezy Flake is that I think it's a smidge on the generic side. I mean, by the time we got this game, we already had the Freezeflame Galaxy, which is a generally cooler take on an ice galaxy (and also a hotter one). Freezy Flake, in comparison, is a bit tame, a bit less exciting, but whatever, it's cute. It's hard to listen to the music and not feel those warm winter fuzzies that I feel until winter actually comes and my hands are dry and I can't go outside without bundling up first and even once I do the ground is going to be slippery so I can't run around as much without fear of falling over except for the days where it is warm where then everything is mushy and gross, and it's dark outside at 5PM and when it is bright outside the sky is usually gray anyway and there's no leaves on the trees so everything looks dull and lifeless
...I hate winters.
And that wraps up today's post! Do you agree with my opinions? Do you don't agree with my opinions? It's okay if you don't. Even the ones about winter! If you enjoy all those things I was complaining about, then more power to you, I'm glad someone can find joy where I couldn't! And if you don't like something I do like, then that's fine too, I guess.
Next week, we'll begin covering the A-tiers! There's a lot of 'em, so I'm gonna be splitting them into two posts, with fifteen galaxies each! Look forward to it! I'll link it here when it goes live!
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