#stimulant addiction

[soulsoffairlight]

Dear ADHD friends, especially my newly diagnosed ones/ those who are just starting out on medications,

I am not a doctor. But I feel that every ADHDer taking medications should know,

Your ADHD medicine may stop working over time. This is called tolerance. It is normal and even to be expected.

Try not to immediately let your doctor up your dosage... and possibly make you feel the need to abuse.

Please, CONSIDER ASKING YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT TOLERATION BREAKS FIRST.

(Toleration breaks without guidance can lead to withdrawal, please be very careful and research the medication you are taking.)

And if you must increase dosage to the max and find yourself growing tolerant,

REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE MANY OPTIONS OUT THERE. YOU DO NOT NEED TO RESORT TO ABUSE.

Drug abuse, in general, is a stigmatized topic, and toleration for prescribed stimulants is something that I believe doesn't get talked about enough.

Your health is far more important than your grades, your work, and anything else your ADHD medicine may assist you with.

Toleration is your brain's response to the effects of stimulants over time. While some people experience it faster than others and it varies from person to person, there's a good chance that everyone taking stimulants will come across it at one point.

But once it happens, it's not the end of the world.

I'm recovering from stimulant abuse, and I NEED you to know, my friend:

The capitalist mindset may make you feel like you need to prioritize your ability to keep up with a neurotypical society over all else, but trust me. Your health comes first. No matter how demanding the world can be for us, you should NEVER risk hurting your body just to satisfy the increasingly harsh expectations of those around you.

Doctors will often immediately resort to upping your dosage in response to toleration. Once you've found your ideal dosage, avoid this unless absolutely necessary. Discuss toleration breaks with your doctor first.

It's a capitalist tactic to up your dosage when it's possibly not necessary with a little bit of breaks and listening to your brain.

By going off your medicine for a certain amount of time, the lack of stimulus may help your brain reduce that tolerance.

I didn't know this because toleration breaks don't get talked about enough.

This is what led me to stimulant abuse.

I kept growing tolerant to my medicines in a couple of weeks. Every time, my psychiatrist upped my dosage.

Eventually, I was at the max dosage. But I grew tolerant yet again.

I felt that I needed to risk my health in order to stay on top of school. So, instead of trying to take a break or getting help from my parents/doctor, I began to combine my medication with heavy energy drinks. Even if it worked, I felt sick. I was nauseous. I was shaky. I vomited. I couldn't eat. I struggled to breathe.

But I continued, and eventually started double dosing.

I became violently angry to the point I lost multiple friends. My stress was at an all-time high to the point where I couldn't sleep at night. I began to lose weight because I couldn't eat due to both loss of appetite and a sudden fear of gaining weight. My physical health got worse and worse. My goal was to get my grades up, but my grades also suffered.

Not long after, my body finally had enough, and I almost had a heart attack.

My parents finally saw through my masking and realized that something was wrong. I was taken to therapy where I got the help I needed.

I was taken off the medications for some time... and yes, I struggled with school. However, with the help of therapy, my parents, and teachers, I was able to make it through.

By the time I took my medicine again at a lower dose, it worked just like it used to. As I continue to heal, toleration breaks help me in ways that I cannot express in words. I've gotten much better thanks to it.

I learned it the hard way.

Stimulant abuse is never the answer. It's not worth it.

Some time without your medicine may be difficult, but trust me. It's far more worth it than risking your health and even life only for it to make everything worse. I'm BLESSED that my situation wasn't worse.

Keep your head high. Know that you are not a working machine, and you are a strong, beautiful human being that can get through this. You may feel belittled by the neurotypical "standards" that our society unfortunately has, but you're worth way beyond that. It's up to you to put your foot forward and have a say in your treatment.

And if you are currently going through stimulant abuse, know that you've got this. It's not your fault. You're completely valid. There is plenty of hope. Seeking help can save your life. Reach out to parents, doctors, school counselors, teachers, family members... ANYONE.

If you don't have anyone you feel you can safely speak to, here are some resources:

US:

UK:

FIND HOTLINE FOR YOUR COUNTRY:

[goredawg]

Is there like a queer druggie server or something this lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night at at atnight

[keen-eye]

Penny

D: Mistakes? Well, let's go through some of Sammy's greatest hits. Drinking demon blood, check. Being in cahoots with Ruby. Not telling me that you lost your soul. Or how about running around with Samuel for a whole year, letting me think that you were dead while you're doing all kinds of crazy. Those aren't mistakes, Sam. Those are choices!

D: Look, man, I don't even remember what I said, but, uh –

S: But what? But you didn't mean it? Oh, please. You and I both know you didn't need that penny to say those things.

D: Come on, Sam.

S: Own up to your crap, Dean. I told you from the jump where I was coming from, why I didn't look for you. But you? You had secrets. You had Benny. And you got on your high and mighty, and you've been kicking me ever since you got back. But that's over. So move on, or I will.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

D: Your blood's supposed to be purified, isn't it? You ever, uh -- you ever done the "forgive me, father" before?

Well, I mean, I could give you suggestions if you want.

All right. Well, I'm just spit-balling here, but if I were you, uh... Ruby, killing Lilith, letting Lucifer out, losing your soul, not looking for me when I went to Purgatory, for starters. Or, hey, h-how about what you did to, uh, Penny Markle in the sixth grade? Why don't you lead with that?

S: Well, that was you.

D: Carry on.

S: You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try. You think I need a chaperone, remember?

D: Come on, man. That's not what I meant.

S: No, it's exactly what you meant. You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can't do that again.

D: You seriously think that? Because none of it -- none of it -- is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you.

sam’s faults

purgatory

[gingermintpepper]

Extracts from The Greenhouse Floor

[raving-two]

i LOVE stimulation. i crave it like an addiction, understimulation genuinely makes me feel like garbage. only overstim, JUST OVERSTIM

merely getting notifications on my phone is enough to send a jolt of joy through me, am i insane lol?

[chronic-cane]

After reading at least 20 different news articles on the Adderall shortage so far:

ADHD is framed as a child's disorder still. Adults *can* have ADHD, but are usually mentioned along with the increased demand and suspicion of drug misuse or abuse.

Other reasons why the increase in demand happened include things like increased accessibility and decreased stigma/disinformation. The FDA and DEA letter to the public, cited in most news articles, did not mention age or other possible factors in demand increase.

Adults with adhd are rarely cited for information. Parents of adhd kids are cited much more. Doctors are cited a ton as well, but many pediatricians.

Wording that stays away from child/adult stuff uses "patient" and even then there is a huge focus on "students."

Adhd symptoms are usually talked about surrounding productivity and impulsiveness. Relationships are another one, but around how the family functions with their kid. Self-esteem and emotional distress were brought up a few times.

One or two brought up other mental disorders that need the drug (narcolepsy and binge eating disorder). None have shown concern for those with addiction that may turn to less safe ways of finding it.

I have yet to see one that talks about withdrawal symptoms that people could have if they miss a dose.

"Advice" includes pill rationing, coffee, and every other adhd trick neurotypicals use but that rarely work (for me at least). Nothing really for binge eating, narcolepsy, or addiction.

I mean, it's not unexpected, but it is frustrating nonetheless.

[dumbhornymotherfuvk]

just tried something in public for the first time! did a 4 hour midterm with a toy in (:

[angelstrawbabie420]

u ever seriously wonder if ur gonna make it thru the year

[bpdcodone]

This stimulant abuse is getting a bit out of hand now haven’t slept in 4 days, relapsing hard, ED getting worse, and dysphoria at an all time high

[coachbeards]

hey so do you think beard uses a lot of sticky notes, annotations, and rereading several books since his memory hasn't fully been the best due to his addiction

[sysig]

I think I finally figured out why I like him so much

[hole34]

god damn the whole day so far i was all like "being sober is amazing why havent i been doing this??? this is so much better i never need to do drugs again" until i realised i'm actually just extremely depressed right now and i want to die existentially staring at the floor drowning in agony. and that is why i do drugs

[szczurzyna]

Born to be high forced to be sober

[maretriarch]

having tier 3 mentally ill thoughts in the grocery store keywords including "psychic framework"

[wormsinmyearss]

it is me and my morning menthol vape hits and sugar free redbull against the world

[dangerousalpacas]

I feel like ADHD meds (specifically stimulants as that’s what I have experience with) don’t make you less ADHD, they actually make you MORE ADHD but this time with the new found ability of Focus

I’ll explain

Like I feel like they exaserbate certain neurodivergent traits; like when I’m on meds I cannot communicate for shit. My ability to form coherent sentences is wiped from my brain. I think too fast and then it’s gibberish with a complete lack of filter.

I also fidget nonstop. I have to be moving and doing things or else I will Go Insane. But whatever I’m doing, I am absolutely locked in, unless I start talking to myself, then I’m locked into an imaginary conversation with no one. For instance, I am at work right now and stopped in the middle of my sign change to make this post.

Meds eliminate my overarching air of disinterest of most tasks, allowing me to do the thing successfully, but it does not stop any of my other neurodivergent tendencies. I am just as ADHD as I am without meds, but this time it’s FASTER and I’m simultaneously a little sleepy for some reason. It’s hard to describe.