#still working through everything in it
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Ok, I want to repost this, but with two caveats.
One: Please, please watch the video, it’s so important!!!!
Two: My post is Dead Dove: Don’t Eat re: trigger warnings. Also long. Lots of rambling details.
I intend it as screaming into the void.
oh...
#self-repost#actually traumatized#ptsd#trauma#just read my part again#three years later#still working through everything in it#fuck#acute ptsd#chronic ptsd#tw trauma#tw facial injury#tw face injury#tw child abuse#tw infant death#tw blood
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the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)
after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)
the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol
lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him
#I am worried about him all the time. but also: his found family of godslaying maniacs and also the power of love. there are reasons to hope#when there was only one set of footprints in the sand that was the veilguard party holding lucanis in their arms#and going 'excuse you he said no FUCKING pickles!!!' while he's like '🥺should you guys really be -- ' 'YES'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#there's some messiness to his arc but what mary kirby managed to capture here about how this works. is everything to me#he is so exactly for me. I'm sorry for all the people he turned out not to be for. but not for him being for me#the gift of looking at him and hearing 'you're more than what you're going through' and be forced to annoyedly go 'okay#MAYBE that could be also be true for me. maybe.' he's going through it. and also so much more and the funniest person in the world#he's so worth it to still have in the world!!!!#I'm so glad we don't get to 'fix' his relationship with his family and especially caterina actually#that is stuff that would need to happen on a time scale waaay outside of the one in this game#and there's Something very real in having to go 'this is not for me to decide for you. who you love and what you do about it is yours'
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So.... why'd Peri get assigned Dev as his first godchild?
Jorgen’s usually not the one in charge of assigning godchildren. There’s an entire department that weighs and classifies potentail Godkids to the right Fairy. Although it’s on strike at the moment.
So Jorgen has to do it by hand, until the union negotiations are resolved. Turns out trying to use paperclips is very hard. Itty bitty paperclips. Big muscular biceps. Not a good combo.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
Peri's Assignment: [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#fop jorgen vonstrangle#fop jorgen#jorgen vonstrangle#asks#itty bitties fop au#you'd think they'd have automated everything what with technology advancing to how it is today#but nah.#institutions are very slow to update or switch onto new tech or new efficient system. so everything's still on paper at the moment#(<- upset that most of the court systems in the u.s still rely on paper trails and refuses to digitize important documents)#anyways the department's in negotiations which means jorgen has to pick up the work to ensure no other fairy crosses the picket line#which means handling itty bitty paper clips for itty bitty papers#the amount of paper clips that have lost their lives because he accidentally snapped or bent them.... o7#ALSO.#I THINK IMMA MAKE A NEW POST FOR THIS BUT#I THINK IM GOING TO ADD A NEW LINE OF LINKS FOR THE PLOT-RELATED POSTS#THAT WAY YOU CAN JUMP BACK TO THE IMMEDIATE PREVIOUS PLOT LINK#WITHOUT NEEDING TO JUMP THROUGH A THOUSAND OTHER UPDATES THATS BEEN PUT BETWEEN THEM#when i go back to the chimmy moving plot and the timhazdev argument plot i'll also do the same thing
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[affectionate clunking noise]
#work got cancelled for weather and I was able to color this whole thing today!#messed with my new gelly rolls for some additional details and I"m still trying to get used to them#it was so nice to work with color again though since I hadn't since last year#tried experimenting with more colored light and colors reflecting in tinted shadows#worried not quite all of it made it through image cleanup#someday I will get my hands on a scanner and you'll all be sorry (I won't have to drag everything in gimp and try to color correct cell pic#my art#cygate#cyclonus#tailgate#idw1#mtmte#lost light#traditional art#alcohol markers#maccadam
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Odysseus: demanding Athena take off whatever enchantment she put on him the second the situation ends.
Odysseus: who constantly reminds Athena that he has great plans to grow old and die with his wife so don't even think about getting any ideas.
Odysseus: side eye diomedes who has started fucking glowing he has so many enchantments on him: bro you should talk to Athena about getting those removed. You're going to end up immortal or some shit
Diomedes: who has been a solider since he was 5 who has intersting thoughts about his own personhood who has a much more traditional relationship with Athena and would rather literally stab his own eye out with a rusted sword than speak out of turn: I don't know what you're talking about
#odysseus#Diomedes#Athena#This is more pulling from my own headcanons than any source material#But I have a lot of feelings about the narritive physically changing a character and how well that works with the idea that#Becoming immortal is a slow process more of a slide than an abrupt change#And I have a lot of feelings about diomedes becoming immortal and how odysseus only ever wanted to be a man#And how diomedes was having a much more mortal experience and odysseus experiencing so much magic and monsters and gods#And how every step of the way diomedes only ever politely thanks Athena never argues only does his duty#And how nearly everything odysseus met tried to change him or keep him and how he fought against that with his whole being#Also a lot of feelings about the traditional reward for heros was immortality#This obviously does not include all the times Athena treated odysseus like a barbie doll because ody was 98% not aware of that#Athena post the whole ajax going insane thing: that was fun#Odysseus: great yah super fucking fun love when my allies go mad with desires to torture me to death BTW#Take off the invisibility spell I want nobody trace of it lingering on me I am remaining mortal if it kills me#Athena: definitely not pouting you're no fun one little spell isn't going to permanently alter you#Odysseus: I am not taking any chances any invisibility I have is going to be my own fucking skill and your excellent training not magic#Diomedes: internally:after getting the ability to see through illusions and see gods#Should I mention this to Pallas Athena? Did she mean for me to keep it? Is it bad if I keep using it?#Is it even more disrespectful to not use it? Surely she is aware that I still have this? Surely it would be an insult to her intelligence#To remind her that would be casting doubt on her memory and perhaps it is part of a plan and#Who am I to question pallas athenas plans who am I but her devout weapon better to not mention it or any of the other lingering magics#Diomedes realizing a hundred years after the fact that he is in fact immortal: ....should I mention this?#Athena finds it funny to try to sneak magic onto odysseus it's a game for them because their both rat bastards#But not post odyssey it's just triggering then#Actual child solider diomedes#Greek myths
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
—what was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.
“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.
he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.
“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”
“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.
“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings ― he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.🥩
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Okay I know I'm the most biased person about dadmare, but you can't honestly tell me that if Cross started to mention the way xgaster treated him and his brother as children - the way an adult bullied and belittled and abused them - that it wouldn't make Nightmare see red
#UTDR#UTMV#Dadmare#Like the call is coming from inside the house again!!#Nightmare trying to be detached and collected to prove he doesn't have a familial attachment to his henchmen#And then he hears that Cross was treated badly by adults as a child and he's instantly like ''I'll kill him myself''#I just#Okay#Wick very nicely talked to me about Cross and dadmare yesterday and I'm still whipping it around like a dog with a new toy#LIKE I just think it could be a little healing for both of them#For Cross to get someone in an authoritative role who praises and appreciates him and refuses to treat him like that#And for Nightmare it must be at least a little rewarding to see someone who went through hell as a child and do everything you can to make#-them comfortable and tell them it wasn't their fault#Like I'm sure he still has stuff from his incident to process and maybe sharing it with Cross could do that#Obviously it's not 1 to 1 on what they went through but it might be similar enough to be cathartic#I don't know I just want to see them get along#I want Cross to have a father figure that would tear the multiverse in half to save him#I want Nightmare to learn to love and show it#I want 16 days off work in a row so I can lie in bed and go insane about this
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We lived.
| First | | Previous | | Next |
[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
#FELT THAT GOOD GOOD VINDICATION HOARDING SCROLLS THE ENTIRE TIME FOR ONE (1) TO FINALLY COME IN HANDY HAHAHAHAHAHFHGD#This fight was absolutely bananas - I was so close to restarting it when everything looked bleak but I didn't and I'm so glad#because it made for a very dramatic story lol#Rambling incoming:#I split the party really bad bc I wasn't super clear on the AOE lightning attack so when the second one rolled around Gale was the only-#-one able to take cover in the building...but I don't think it even worked??#Lae'zel was down long before then but Wyll and Croissant were in death saves#Used all of Gale's movement AND misty step to get to Croissant but he still couldn't get close enough & had to throw a potion#I think I used a potion of speed then so Croissant could cast globe of invuln right away#(and it took 10min of looking through my inventory to even see I had something to do bc otherwise we would've died right there don't @ me)#But then we were STILL too far away from Ansur for 60' spells so I had to keep running them out of the globe - using a spell - and then-#-mISTY STEPPING BACK INTO IT BC WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MOVEMENT SPEED#it was rough but we made it#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#act III spoilers#ansur quest#croissant adventures#tav#ansur#gale#gale dekarios#breadweave#gale x tav#YEAH WE'RE PUTTING IT IN THAT TAG#comics
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okay so anybody wanna think about how all daydream employees wear masks to obscure their identities and how everyone on braun's show including braun himself literally doesn't have a face and how kim soleum and braun have a rigid view of the world as Fiction with inherent rules to how it should and must operate and both of them need to always maintain a collected image to anyone watching and how both of them got thrown into weird situations outside their control and how they both used and manipulated each other because they're afraid of sincerity.
braun viewing everything as a tv show 🤝 kim soleum viewing everything as a horror story
anyways so if one wants to be pedantic it could be argued that braun being confined to the bunny plushie counts as reverse-isekai
#feli speaks#got dropped into a ghost story still gotta work#gsgw#brasol#<- I GUESS?#for me shipping something doesnt mean wanting them to kiss it means studying them in a test chamber#sorry i'm just not over how basically everything on Braun's Late-Night Talk Show was putting kse into braun's shoes#for the past hundred chapters. i'm not over it#over the story finally asking. okay. well. how does braun feel about this‚ exactly. it's so good#the answer of course being: insanely complicated#LIKE. THE FUCKING METAPHOR. ON#BOTH OF THEM ONLY BEING ABLE TO TALK ON EVEN FOOTING THROUGH A FUCKING TV SCREEN#Through the fucking crt filter. through an intermediary. i'm biting the floor. i'm biting the walls. i'm eating optic fibre cables
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one of my fav post game togami headcanons is the idea that in the early days of their time with the future foundation, he's the one doing the Bulk of the work -- not only in the Job sense of like, interpreting all the legalese and filing forms, and being mr ceo guy -- but in a caretaking sense as well.
and its still in his Weird Distant way but like. he picks up extra work so the others dont have to. he brings coffee and tells them when its time to turn in for the night. dont worry. he'll finish the work they have left. it's nothing to him. and sure all of it is couched in backhanded comments a la "if you're too weak to do it i will. i GUESS" because he's still too early in his Journey to Empathy to admit to himself that he's doing these things because he cares. like it's all rationalized as "im the better than everyone and my weak-willed so-called 'peers' are too consumed by grief to actually be useful so i'll do it because im naturally immune to burnout" (he isnt)
and also bc like. he feels BAD about everything that went down in hopes peak. again, not that he'd recognize it as such for years but. here are all these people that he doesn't (does) care about struggling against their own grief for the people they lost that he doesnt care about (or at least doesnt remember caring about) and he treated them SO poorly in some of the harder moments so now's when he needs to make up for it. sure his entire family is dead but he's alive and he's the best one, so he'll do the work. it's fine. this is what he was made for. extra paperwork? handled. too swamped to find time to grab food and water? tch, he's so on top of his work that he already got it for you, stupid. the most dangerous missions? whatever, you'd probably just mess it up anyways, so i'll do it.
#byakuya togami#and then there's the naegami of it all wherein naegi's powers of Observation and Compassion allow him to see through this big facade#so he's the one to be like 'hey. you dont have to do everything. you know that right.' <- hypocrite#which of course togami pinpoints immediately like 'heh youre one to talk. youre on the verge of collapsing. give me half ur work NOW‼️'#so 90% of their courtship is them trying to get the other to sit down for .5 seconds and the other refusing#because the core truth of naegami is that if either of them sit still the bad thoughts win#so they dont sit still EVER#kirigiri knows all of this as well but she's 1) more fucked up about it all than she's willing to admit#2) overwhelmed by the weight of her own responsibilities#(+ naegi's because she expresses affection in the same guilt ridden way that togami does)#and 3) doesnt like togami enough yet to care that he's killing himself with work#and knows it wouldnt matter even if she did say something because he's certainly not going to listen to HER
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haul from the sheep & wool festival. the green and purple skeins are enormous and I am v excited about them.
also the multicoloured skeins are a lovely linen and I want to weave something with them so I am finally starting the process of dressing the floor loom.
#we tried very hard to look at everything before we bought things so I had fewer impulse purchases#also I still haven't worked through last years haul because I was making the world's most time consuming cardigan#fibre arts#sheep and wool festivals my beloved
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PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.
Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.
anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#tew#edit:nathan#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#so much shame in my body but still used my taglist but um let me know if you want to be excluded from oc/ship web weaves#just really wanted to share this one because i'm very proud of it and i want it on my blog. so. :]#recognition of the self through the other + wanting so desperately for the other to be deserving of a second chance#because if there is hope for them than there is hope for you etc etc and so on. that's the core of their dynamic i think#they understand each other on such a fundamental level that no one else comes close to because they are in so many ways the same#like how in in the first game leslie could sync up with ru/vik and all that? nathan would be a VERY good candidate for that as well#and it makes me insane!! and then the added layer of nathan being lead developer of mobius' new and improved STEM system#which makes him the same as ru/vik AGAIN but in like. the way that they're both men of [computer] science#and there's the fact they both have a dead sister. they both killed their parents. they were both mobius playthings for YEARS#and they've happily killed and tortured during all of it. they're angry they're out for revenge they're completely disconnected from#the normal human experience and they're working with what they have. and then after all of that is over then what is left?#their story focuses on them picking up all the pieces. everything that's still salvageable at least. and try to start over in a way#they cannot be forgiven for what they've done but they can move on from the past and do different in the future#there's still things left undone and left unsaid... in my canon at least. i know there's not gonna be any more games. it's fine#anyway they end up going to therapy and then they get better they're not a doomed couple they just like being dramatic#if you read all of this we can get married tomorrow if you'd like
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Heyo! I've finished a couple more pieces from my backlog this week! I might be pushing myself a lil too hard tho since now I want to finish everything before the year ends (probably won't be able to but I'm really trying!!)
I'm trying my best not to accumulate more work for now so I'm gonna be asking for a bit of help again 🙏 I just need to get through for a week or two so I could finally finish all the doodles & commissions I have left (w/c is still around 25+). I only have a small amount left for my budget & still don't have any other sources of income for now 😔 So any kind of support will be very much appreciated!! ;_; 🙏
Here's my ko-fi page (tip jar): https://ko-fi.com/gotchibam/
And my ko-fi shop! https://ko-fi.com/gotchibam/shop
Thank you sm for supporting me & my work!! <3
#sorry i've paused streaming for now so I could focus & finish my backlog faster >_<#trello has been updated so you could see how much work i've finished & pieces I still have to do#I haven't queued the finished ones yet but i'll be posting them soon!#my goal for now is to finish everything from my backlog before 2024 ends#would really appreciate it if you guys can help me achieve that 🙏#I just need to get through a little more so I could continue working on them#thank you sm!! ;_; 🙏🙏🙏
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ya know, what made epic the musical such a joy for me personally is seeing it actually develop throughout its 4-5 year long history and I don't just mean like from the ground up and everything. I mean it in a way as someone who immediately clocked Jorge Rivera-Herrans as a fellow playwright heavily inspired by Lin Manuel Miranda's style - which fucking meant of course most of the early publicized drafts of epic were raps because of course they are (this is not meant to be a slight because like I totally get him)!
But like actually seeing Jorge apply the lessons in LMM's writing into his own original style that is befitting to the story he wants to tell - and not only that, he literally took his audience along with him on his journey with every tried-and-tested demo and audition and everything, and the actual pre-production and production process of writing an album is something we don't usually get at all, especially in something as extensive as a musical concept album!
Like what really had EPIC make it's mark on the internet and on musical theatre (especially INDIE MT) is that it was a literal Odyssey of sorts - the creation of this entire fucking thing was a journey from beginning to end and we were all invited to witness it from behind the scenes while also having many artists among fans be a part in its creation one way or another, while also observing how Jay had his own artistic development throughout - from someone whose epic was quite obviously heavily stylized after Hamilton, into an artist whose style he can call truly his own.
I have so much more to say on how and why epic became such an iconic piece of work and perhaps being the first MT work in 2020 to truly define the decade, but all in all let's just say I'm glad to have witnessed the growth of an artist - and I'm excited to see what art this will inspire in turn.
#like fjdjs i've seen a lot of people compare jay to lmm which i get it because like duh#but also ive grown to notice that epic like really took a turn for the better when it was less stylized after hamilton#and moreso made with lmm's techniques in mind - but as a foundation and not like a blueprint to follow#likelook at epic now and epic circa 2021 like there are a lot of parts from both that scream 'yep lmm inspired this' ESPECIALLY in motif use#but throughout the progression in between we see jorge come into his own and the songs having their own melody#while still retaining recognizable wordplay ala lmm#i dunno like im speaking personally as a writer whose earliest musical drafts were my attempts at emulating lmm#like i just loved watching the epic growth journey so much because like thats what i wanna become and everything#the journey of growing into a style they can truly call their own while also paying homage to those that inspired them through their lessons#i just find it neat#epic is great#okay thats enough praises now its time for the saga tier list#pfffft there will be more praises and analyses coming up should i like find the time#but yea check epic my dudes its a damn good piece of work#aLSO THE CHALLENGE IS THE BEST SONG IN THE ENTIRE DAMN MUSICAL SO FUCKING GOOD#epic#epic the musical#jorge rivera herrans#lin manuel miranda#hamilton#the odyssey
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Nothing like Heartstopper S2E8 removing some of Taylor Swift's "seven" lyrics just so that the singing can specifically come back in at "Or hide in the closet" while Isaac is processing difficult emotions related to the book he's reading (i.e., Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen).
Did I mention "Or hide in the closet" hits just as the camera focus finishes shifting away from Isaac?
This is fine
#This is not fine#Warning: Long tags ahead (2 topics)#TOPIC 1:#I'm glad Isaac feels safe enough to be reading this book and processing emotions around his friends#That's the positive spin on “he's quietly dealing with a lot while next to his friends and they're not noticing and he's not sharing" right#The contrast of this with the happy friend-bonding montage time feels purposeful and sad (esp. with lyrics about staying in the closet)#but on the bright side this is in the midst of happy friend-bonding montage time so we also see them having happy bonding times together#- showing the friendship is still strong even if right now Isaac isn't wholly known or fully fitting#Hopefully this is leading to Isaac telling his friends what he's going through in S3 and the friendships adapting to fit him better#TOPIC 2:#Also - don't think it's unintentional that where the camera focus shifts to is Nick with his arms around Charlie and then kissing his head#I think we're being purposefully distracted from Isaac with allo 'cuteness'#Because what the other characters often get swept up in - especially as they all couple up in S2 - is alloromantic/allosexual interactions#And that's frequently what the world prioritises or cares more about too#I think the show is intentionally calling everyone - from the characters to us watching them to the whole world - out#So that hopefully we (general) can all be more aware and do better#[In case you were wondering this N&C/Isaac scene is also right after we see short clips of Elle & Tao and Tara & Darcy cuddling -#which also seems very intentional: Isaac - sandwiched in between views of cuddling couples - alone in more ways than one]#CONCLUSION:#I think everything is working together to highlight the contrast between what N&C and Isaac are respectively experiencing in this moment#Did I mention this is not fine?#It is well done though#heartstopper mini moment#isaac henderson#aroace#aromantic asexual#lgbtqia+#queer#taylor swift#seven
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Have said it a million times and will never stop saying it.
Phannies whose first language is not English, please write as many posts and fanfics you want.
This includes phannies who aren’t completely fluent and or have poor grammar/spelling.
Please rant and engage and be as chaotic as the rest of us. Even if you cannot express it in English.
I personally have always found it so impressive and admirable when I learn a phannie mutual of mine has a first language other than English. Your ability to participate as much as you do while having to translate every video, every post, is something I am always so impressed by.
Please participate as much as you want in the phandom. Even if you only feel like posting in your first language, even if you know your grammar/spelling isn’t perfect, please share your thoughts and feelings!!!
#every time I see a phannie mutual every so often reblog a post in their first language or leave in the tags something not in English#I am never not amazed#I can’t imagine frequently engaging in media and fandom where everything is in not your first language#and I’ve seen so many of y’all apologizing lately whether in fics or posts because your grammar/spelling might not be perfect because#english is not your first language#and I’m always like we should be apologizing to you for having to go through the process translating and whatnot#as you can guess I don’t have anything even near a second language so idk how it works for people who speak English fluently and it also#isn’t their first language#but I just think it’s so cool how phannies still participate despite a language barrier#tldr: if English is not your first language please never apologize for poor grammar or spelling or for posting in your first language#rae’s rambles#dan and phil#phan
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