#still taking disliked celebrities asks feel free to rant !

[sophieinwonderland]

“As someone who regularly stalks r/fakedisordercringe to screenshot and use them as content on my blog, I've never seen them actually fakeclaim people by calling them transautistic. I don't think this is a thing that actually happens.”

You’re probably right that ‘transautistic’ as a label isn’t usually used to fakeclaim someone. But I have seen ASD and autism be used to fakeclaim disordered plurals in general (basically the argument is ‘they don’t actually have a dissociative disorder’). It’s a part of why I’m skeptical of anyone who references a correlation between autism and plurality (similarly to how I feel about anyone who references a correlation between autism and being transgender).

I still disagree with that anon. Frankly what counts as ‘harming the autistic community’ is not something I see to be valuable when that same community will either celebrate ABA and/or Autism Speaks (when board members have said they’d rather have a dead child than an autistic one), or insist that even using functioning labels for just yourself is ableist and/or that neurodivergence is never a disability. I also dislike the folks who take studies of how autistic folks tend to have a stronger sense of justice & extrapolate that to mean that they’re just better people (a ‘sense of justice’ functions on rules and those rules are not always logical or right).

But I also believe people should be able to identify with what they feel belongs to them (like if they think they’re autistic, there’s probably a reason). I seriously don’t comprehend how anyone would want to publicly identify with that, and probably never will (I’m not asking for an explanation), but it is what it is. Also I realise that’s pretty much just me ranting in your inbox, so feel free to delete this lol

Personally, I think the ASD community is just a diverse group of people with a variety of different viewpoints. You're going to find plenty of bad takes in any group if you look hard enough. 🤷‍♀️

I'm not really that involved with it, but from what I have seen, Autism Speaks seems pretty heavily reviled.

[intothespideyverses]

Are you still taking those “dislike celebrity” asks? ‘cause I really can’t stand Henry styles OR Taylor swiffer - they both have stans that overhype their music and sweep every bad thing they’ve done under the carpet (which is so weird they act like they’re perfect but still insist they make varied and emotionally complex music). Also the fact that they’ve both performed with Stevie Nicks and I haven’t is an Antiblack Hate Crime you heard it here first folks (sorry for the rant)

sorry I’m so late but yes I am and BOY do I got some things to say about those two 

tbh I have NOOO idea why horton has been dubbed the only former 1d member that makes “”””””””real”””””””” music like his music is basic as FUCK (I admit tho a couple songs bang akjsh). he’s trying too hard to sound and look like some 70s rock god and it just comes off mad corny. LIKE WHAT IS HE WEARING??? THIS ISNT AUSTIN POWERS??? and his stans act like he’s the wokest woke ally to end all allies just bc he waves pride flags every now and then like lads….you’re being played…him shrugging anytime someone asks his sexuality isn’t confirmation of SHIT he is p l a y i n g yall bc he knows a lot of his fanbase is lgbt. and tbt to the mini scandal that broke out bc he refused to wave any blm flags lmaoooooo very interesting :). iont dislike all of his fanbase but the ones that act like he’s the second coming/trash all the other 1d fellas are ugly. that nasty pedophilia joke is just the icing on the cake tbh but his stans will still stick by his side even tho if anyone else had said that shit he’d be cancelled but moving on

t****r swift you mean the alt right kween? I think it goes without saying that she’s trash but can I just say real quick how funny it is that white supremacists have adopted her as their idol and she has yet to say shit about it I’m YELLING. also why do all hardcore twswizzle stans look the same :/

[magireco]

Would love to hear more thoughts on how these girls have understandable teenage motivations (A+ tag analysis by the way)

1. Thank you!!!!!!

2. ALRIGHT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (shuffles my papers). i’ve gone off about homura’s motivations in depth before but i think it was only in dms/groupchats? anyways i’ll go in order with All the girls bc i think about this all the time as a teenager who grew up mentally ill and had their perceptions skewed because of it, and also i don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough for the others, at least on my blog... so, buckle up!!! this is REALLY LONG!!!! 

3. i tried writing like, an individual thing for every member of the quintet all together in this one ask, but i ended up talking a little too much about homura and now i’m going to split up all the different analysis stuff for each character into the reblogs and work on it every so often! you’re free to kinda skim of course because i really did write a whole novel but here we go!! read under the cut. :3 this is literally essay length btw. i did NOT expect it to get this long but if you want to read it all i’d recommend it but i don’t expect most people to

First: Homura Akemi

okay so i’m going to kind of summarize everything but from the perspective of empathizing with her so if you don’t want to reread a whole recap you can skip to the ending few paragraphs

Summary

first of all, in episode 10, homura’s past is explained for the viewer. she was a shy, unsure girl who had been bedridden for a long time. she was clearly unsocialized, not to mention she went to a catholic school and those can be brutal, esp in japan... that’s all we know about her in that episode, but it’s revealed in one of the drama cds that she was bullied as a child(& further at mitakihara middle), her parents never were mentioned ever (i assume them to either be dead or neglectful, considering she lives alone and unchecked), and in magia record, homura says to natsuki that she’s never had friends before, she hasn’t been on vacation before until the beachside bonds event, hasn’t ever celebrated valentine’s day, has never celebrated new years, etc... 

clearly, she’s missed out on a lot not only because of her sickness and hospitalization, but because of her isolation as a child at school. judging by her demeanor and the way she reacts when madoka comes up to her without being asked to, something like that had never happened to her before. it’s clear to me that madoka was many of homura’s “first’s”, her first friend, the first person who reached out to her, the first person to compliment her name honestly(validating her, disproving her dislike of her name), the first person to regard her so kindly rather than judging her based off of her appearance and demeanor (like other students had apparently done, this is also shown when the other students at mitakihara middle make fun of her for being tired after only being able to run one lap). AND, madoka (and mami, but homura knew madoka better at that time) saved her life, even though homura was so willing to die, just in that moment... i’d assume it made homura feel like someone believed in her even when she was at her worst. it’s really clear by the glimmer in her eyes that these are nice people that made her feel happy and welcome... and then walpurgisnacht came. she didn’t know much about magical girls and just believed in madoka and mami to be able to defeat the witch because she saw them as strong and saw the witch as defeatable, despite its size. and then mami died, right in front of her and madoka... 

this kinda seems headcanon-y when i phrase it this way but it’s practically proven in her actions but i really think homura is scared to be abandoned, especially by someone who was as overtly kind and nonjudgemental to her as madoka... it’s in the way she cries her name and says “don’t go” before madoka runs away to fight walpurgisnacht. OH ALSO, i need to address this one thing really quick because people like to assume that homura didn’t care about mami from the beginning and only liked madoka. it’s not that she wasn’t sad when mami died, she was clearly terrified and didn’t want the same to happen to madoka, also mami LITERALLY WASN’T IN HER CLASS OR HER GRADE so i assume she spent most of her time with madoka considering they were in the same grade and class and probably shared most of their periods with each other... but also, once again, mami is older than both of them and homura probably saw her as more of a mentor/teacher that she needed to impress rather than madoka who was more on her level, i guess?

anyways, moving on... homura had to see madoka die (& experience the crushing guilt she felt for “letting madoka go” even though there was nothing she could’ve done) and literally says “i’d rather you had lived than saved someone like me” ... her self worth is below zero. she makes her wish to be strong enough to protect madoka(because she sees madoka, her first friend, who saved her life which she felt had no worth, as so strong and noble) which causes her to go back in time, etc. etc., you know the deal. okay before i move on to talk a little more abt the timelines and the personality change i’m going to address why it’s reasonable that she’d be attached to madoka.

i mentioned before that homura said herself that she had never had a friend before. just like, put yourself into her shoes for a second. this girl has no idea how to make friends; it was never taught to her. it’s literally rational that she’d get attached to her first ever friendship. it’s not “normal” the way she views madoka, but how could it be? this is her first time having a friend, she’s afraid of being abandoned by her, but she’s had to see her die over and over again anyway. she doesn’t want to lose madoka. even if she doesn’t go about it in the right way, there’s no way she would’ve actually known how to Do relationships. no one taught her. i think that needs to be empathized with more...

i kinda feel like i need to summarize all this just bc if i word it right it kinda reminds you & puts into perspective just how terrible and scary all of this was.

anyway Again, i would skip straight to the end of timeline 3 (where a New Flavor of trauma is given to homura) but i need to first address timeline 2 for a second. it was homura’s first time repeating the timeline, she trained with madoka and mami again, she was still hopeful despite what happened, etc. kinda just bonding further with madoka Again... and then it’s at the end of this timeline that she watches madoka turn into a witch, just in front of her very eyes... and realizes the true fate of magical girls. when she resets the timeline again, it’s up to her to start anew and break the truth to the group when she sees them again. when she tries telling the truth, sayaka immediately shoves this aside, claiming homura was just trying to split everyone up. it’s clear that that hurts homura. (also the little shinies in her eyes were wavering which is anime-code for sad) her feelings were immediately disregarded by sayaka and she couldn’t defend herself, but madoka did for her, and mami tried to diffuse the situation. 

after they all find out homura was right when sayaka turns into a witch, mami kills kyoko and ties up homura in her ribbons and aims a gun at her, and this, rightfully, ignited a fear within homura... madoka is forced to kill mami in order to save homura, leaving only the two of them to fight together. then, when walpurgisnacht comes that time, The Promise is made... madoka tells homura to go back in time and save her from becoming a witch (because she doesn’t want to curse the world that way, she still sees beauty in it) and homura agrees, saying she’ll never stop until she saves madoka, and then... homura has to mercy kill madoka before she becomes a witch. she cries loudly and shoots madoka’s soul gem... it’s literally so heartwrenching and (usually) brings the viewer to tears, or puts something into perspective for them...

then we assume the personality change happens in the timeline right after. this personality change causes a lot of discourse because sometimes it’s seen as kind of irrational, but personally, i think even moemura had at least SOME resent for the world around her considering what she’d been through. it’s madoka’s repeated deaths that finally push her over that edge. i could get further into the coolmura arc but that’d take a WHILE, so i’ll just kind of explain something briefly though -- why homura ended up becoming even MORE focused on madoka. and i’m also going to debunk the claim that homura doesn’t care about her other friends as fast as i can before moving on.

also, ONE LAST side tangent, for those that think homura really did do a 360 degree personality turn are wrong. it’s shown explicitly in homulilly’s labyrinth that there’s this... “core” homura, a shadowy purple silhouette with braids. every time the series depicts homura’s internal self, it’s always glasses+braids, symbolizing her “child” self, who she truly is. she never stopped being that person. she doesn’t want to kill. ...but i can get into that in a rebellion analysis later! this is also shown in wraith arc bc the person inside her soul gem has glasses+braids. anyway let’s get to the next part i’m going to rant about

Homura’s Love for Madoka, but Otherwise Apathy

homura has seen many different, yet all similar, versions of her friends. the first claim i’m going to talk about which i saw brought up quite a few times before is in regards to homura and mami. first of all, homura absolutely still cares for mami, and not just in the “i only care about your life if it affects madoka’s” way. one part that always gets me is when mami ties her up in the series timeline after homura frantically warns her that this witch isn’t normal, to which mami IMMEDIATELY brushes this off, without even giving homura a chance. then, when mami’s ribbons fade away, homura looks horrified and just goes “oh no...” and it’s kind of obvious to me that it was in response to mami’s death rather than madoka’s reaction. this is arguably up for debate i guess because i’ve seen different takes on that reaction and it’s ambiguous, i guess? but i’m about to get into something extremely similar and that’s the sayaka situation, where madoka throws sayaka’s soul gem onto a moving car. homura gasps and immediately pauses time and disappears, running in literal open traffic and climbing on top of a moving car to retrieve sayaka’s soul gem. one could argue that this is ALSO only just because homura wants to save madoka (and kyoko) the fear, but don’t you think her expression would be different? if homura truly didn’t care for sayaka’s wellbeing, wouldn’t she be making an expression more similar to like, “oh, this shit again...” instead of the frantic one she was making in the scene? this kind of thing Also happens when kyoko asks homura to leave while kyoko’s about to sacrifice herself in oktavia’s labyrinth, and homura looks up sadly at kyoko and then back down at madoka, and once she knew kyoko was dead, she just quietly said “kyoko...” to herself. she usually refers to them as [last name, first name], but she dropped that during that moment... it otherwise sounds like a bare minimum thing to do, but keep in mind the timeline we’re shown in the series is implied to be like, the 110th timeline, i think? like, this is the last timeline, she’s worn down, but she still does have empathy -- or at least sympathy -- for the others. she still loves them. 

homura promised to be madoka’s protector, she dedicated her life to her, and also she doesn’t have a choice not to dedicate her life to her anymore, even though that’s not fair to her... homura is in a really hopeless situation and madoka is her hope, and madoka is the one that judges her the least out of the quintet (like saying “i’m sure homura is good” to herself) upon first impression. also okay i mentioned this already in my last post (which you saw) but i’m going to bring it up one more time, homura is not mentally 26!!!!!! she is still 14 mentally!! in order to be 26, you have to have experienced 26 years of new life experience. maybe you acquire that through school, maybe you aquire that through friends, whatever it takes. but homura just repeated the same month over and over, and it’s not like her body (canonically) ages ever. she just kind of gets transported back into her body in the hospital again considering she’s back wearing her braids and pajamas... so, yeah. no mental development there. i also mentioned this here but i’m gonna say it again, that just makes it even harder for her to actually age correctly... it stunts her to 14. imagine being 14 for 10-11 years...

In Defense Of My Own Claims

btw before you think i’m just going full-on radical homura apologist, i’m not explaining all of this to be like “homura made ALL THE RIGHT DECISIONS because her trauma gave her an excuse!!” because like, Obviously, she did a lot of bad things, she killed people, did a lot of callous things, a lot of thoughtless things, a lot of things that make her seem emotionless, etc. but i just have trouble blaming her considering how things ended up, and it’s not like she enjoys killing people. she’s not sadistic... she ends up becoming short with all the others not only because of her (extremely) weakened trust in them, but also because the amount of times she repeated the timeline. i’d imagine it makes her feel like the others can’t truly die because she can just go back and see them again. (this is also why wraith arc/post-tv series must’ve been hard for her because she can no longer turn back time, things are permanent now, deaths are forever) she’s become so worn down that she’ll do anything to escape the loops... also considering she has no choice but to continue? although it shouldn’t be, it’s technically her job as a magical girl to defeat all witches and walpurgisnacht counts. it kills magical girls and tears up the whole city and she’s usually the only magical girl left... her choices, when defeated, are either to give up and die or to go back and try again, and she made a promise to her first ever friend to do just the latter... i just don’t understand how this isn’t easier for people to comprehend, that all of this trauma and stress and responsibility on top of an already traumatized 14 year old does not mix well. ever. she had to figure out all of this by herself.

TL;DR:

homura was a previously traumatized, unsocialized 14 year old with (very)low self esteem & self worth whose first friend (and first love, really, let’s be honest) died in front of her in horrific ways and she watched as she (and the other friends she came to make) drifted slowly apart from her in her endless and futile attempt in saving her from what proved to be an inescapable fate. also she’s 14 and also she’s (canonically) mentally ill and a lesbian. not a monster, not evil, not “psycho”. and that’s that!

[ogravensimp]

There’s a comic where John Constantine spends Christmas with the Kent family: Clark, Lois, Jon, the whole shebang.

Can Raven join the fun? 🎁

of course she can!

“So,” the soft voice of the little girl in a colourful red and green jumper immediately caught everyone's attention as since she had arrived with her apparent father, John Constatine, she had not said a word, “what exactly is Christmas?”

The warm living room seemed to almost freeze over in silence; the only sound being a plastic ornament falling onto the ground. Jon, instead of going to pick up the trinket he dropped, just gave a confused look to his new friend that has been helping him put up decorations for the last half hour.

Lois was equally as perplexed, the little girl had no issue being placed in the festive jumper and given Christmas-related tasks to do but, in fact, had no idea what was going on all this while. She knew this level of docile obedience was not normal for a child her age and gave glaring look at the blond man who was collapsed uselessly on the armchair.

John simply raised his arms in defence, "Hey, don't look at me. I don't believe in this shi-stuff either and I gave her the rundown ." He corrected his language quickly before he is subjected to the wrath of Lois Lane-Kent.

Sighing, she turned to the little girl, "Raven, what do you mean by 'what is Christmas'?"

"I mean what is it. Is it a ritual? Is it some type of day of worship? John says it's just an excuse to drink during dinner and get free stuff but that doesn't seem accurate."

Another pointed look at Constantine.

"It's about getting lots of presents because you were good!", Jon added and got his own pointed look.

Raven felt the natural instinct to defend her foster-father and new friend, so she quickly tried to restate her statement, "I just meant that everyone gives conflicting explanations of the purpose of the celebration. My books say it's a commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ but all these cartoons talk about is this figure called Santa! Is he some type of other God? What about Jesus? And what is Hanukah!? Wh-"

"Wow."

The sound her age mate, Jon made was what brought her back to earth and stopped her ranting.

Only then did she realize she had begun to raise the living room furniture and had John and Lois floating a few inches off the ground. Releasing a harsh but calming breath, the sound of the couch's and sofas thumping down onto the floor could be heard while Raven shamefully looked down at her feet.

"Sorry...I just didn't know why we're doing this? ", She took a pause and pulled at her woolly turtle neck, "... or why I'm wearing green...and red?"

In the back of her mind, Raven wanted Lois to shout at her for asking so many questions. John said asking questions about the unknown was normal but she couldn't help but think about Azar's thoughts on the subject. Her old mentor always said that "curiosity is the sin of longing for more, and means that one is not satisfied with their current being."

She was willing to take whatever punishment Lois Lane felt just to give but she just didn't want these new people to dislike her due to her disobedience and lack of control.

'Now they know you are freak, a freakish monster,' She didn't know who in her mind said that but they were right. She felt someone approach her and steadied her trembles as she awaited discipline, but instead, she was met with a delicate hand on her cheek.

When she looked up, the softest pair of eyes she's ever been the focus of was what she saw. Just something about Lois face made her feel safe in every way, "Oh honey, don't ever be ashamed to ask questions. Trust me, as a reporter, I ask enough questions to talk your ears off so I have no right to judge."

Raven only nodded, feeling flush at the positive attention of someone she barely knew.

"Now for your question," at this Lois retracted her hand to rub her chin with a quizzical hum on her lips, "You are right, there are many ways to celebrate Christmas so to pinpoint what is about, I suppose it'll differ for each family. Though, I can tell you why this family celebrates it."

Despite her prior criticism of herself, Raven still managed to whisper a simple, "Why?"

"Cause we are family, that's all there is to it," With that answer, Lois placed a small peck on to the little girl's red chakra before lightly stroking her hair, "Now you and Jon should head to the kitchen, I think Clark's about done with the cookies."

And on queue, a ding sounded and Clark Kent's voice could be heard through the walls, "Alright, come get them while they're warm."

Jon jumped into the air at that. He turned to his friend and pulled onto her sleeve to signal towards the kitchen before rushing off himself.

Raven floated after him before pausing halfway.

She turned towards the direction of Constantine who had simply watched the interaction with mild curiosity, "So are me and John...family?"

John finally spoke up, "Yes, I guess we are luv'. Wouldn't let you live in my house for free if it was any other way." Lois gave him a slap at the shoulder for his poor taste of humour.

But Raven didn't seem to care about his lack of sentiments. Instead, she let a smile grace her lips before running after the young half-Kryptonian while muttering a soft, "Family."

John watched her go with his own smile.

Lois was shocked that John Constantine could even make that expression; the closest thing she has ever seen on the British man was a cocky smirk and even that was pushing it. She felt awkward, as if she was seeing a private scene not meant for her, so she decided to speak to clear the air, "She's a good kid, though, I'm concerned about how quiet she is."

"Yeah, I'm working on it," John relaxed back into the chair before digging into his pockets, "Only been doing this child-raising thing for a few months, cut me some slack."

"I'm not nagging you, just curious," Lois followed his movements as he pulled out those rancid cigarettes of his. She quickly snatched it away before continuing, "Be good with her. I can see some real potential in her."

John only huffed. Looking longingly at the cigarette only inches away, he gave a snarky, "Yeah, yeah."

Lois supposed that will do, "Now, let's see if there are any treats left or was it all snarked down by those two."

"Please, when it comes to Rae and her desserts, she'll out-eat grown men. A real demon that one."

I always thought that Raven has a lot of religious trauma from Azarath that is rarely explored but in this AU imma hint at it a lot more. No one is better to deal with religious trauma than a man that routinely stares devil’s in the eyes.

[dapandapod]

Hey honey! I'm so glad for your 400 followers, you deserve the world. For the prompt... You know that pouty/grumpy face of Joey's, well, Geralt just happens to adore when Jaskier does that. He stares at him and at his lips trying not to get caught by the Bard, and his heart melts in a puddle of love because ugh, he's so cute. I hope you're well bb, yours Idiot syndrome anon™ 🖤

Oh my gosh how sweet are you!!!  So I said I would do something small right? I tried, ok? It accidently became a little longer, because you have the greatest ideas! 

So here, please enjoy 1/4 prompts for my 400 follower celebration!  Feel free to send an ask, comment or messege me if you have something you wish me to write!

Geralt being soft for pouty Jaskier! As a treat! On Ao3 here!

Geralt has a secret, a soft spot.

Jaskier pouts when he gets annoyed. There is a slight chance that Geralt finds that absolutely adorable. So he might be annoying on purpose. Maybe. Possibly. Totally. 

~

Jaskier sits on a log, it’s old and a little little rotten. Geralt told him not to sit on that log, that his (nice) pants will get wet, but did he listen? No.

And now there is a very stubborn bard still sitting on that log. Trying very hard not to look displeased in his wet pants, but honestly, he is failing very hard.

In his efforts to hide his discomfort he is pursing his lips together, a little wrinkle between his eyebrows, staring into the fire with some rarely seen concentration.

He uses a long stick (also damp, because fuck you Geralt) to poke around in the burning logs, eliciting some very satisfying crackling.

On the actually less damp ground sits Geralt, legs crossed in a pose that would make a less flexible man cringe.

He is supposed to meditate but there is this very good feeling in his chest.

This is the safest I-told-you-so he has had with Jaskier in a long time, and the cutest. He is holding back a smile, but he can feel the corners of his mouth twitching, betraying him.

Jaskier notices, of course. He sends Geralt a glare, his bottom lip pushing up just a little, fighting off a pout.

“What.” Jaskier says, daring Geralt to say something. But Geralt has been around for a long, long time and he knows a trap when he sees one.

If you want to keep your tender parts attached to your body, you don’t say “I told you so.” You just feel it.

“Don���t start a forest fire.” He says instead.

Now there is the pout for real. Three dwarves in a frock, that is adorable.

Swooning is not something witchers do, but melting he can do just fine.

“Fuck off.” Jaskier says, as predicted, turning back to the flames and poking some more just to be contradictory.

Geralt allows himself a smile, feeling very much at peace, and closes his eyes again.

 ~

 “Noticed something new about me?” Jaskier asks, making a ridiculous little turn showin off his new doublet.

Geralt of course noticed, but it’s too good not to poke fun at him.

"Uuhh… did you gain weight?”

The outrage. The indignation. Imagine all the offended noises you can think of, and make them come out of Jaskiers mouth.

Jaskier doesn’t speak to him for the rest of the day. And Geralt just can’t stop smiling at that adorable little pout, so it was absolutely worth it. 

 ~

 "You don’t think I see you smiling?!” Jaskier says accusingly to Geralt, his hair is sticking up in odd angles and he is pacing back and forth in Geralt's room at the inn in Oxenfurt.

For once they had coin enough not to share (and Geralt will never admit how much he dislikes that) but Jaskier came storming through his door anyway, ranting away like no tomorrow.

“You think it’s funny?! Geralt, this is serious!”

It is not. It’s just Valdo Marx again, managing to start a show before Jaskier had the chance himself, and thus stealing the show for tonight.

But Jaskier of course takes it as a personal insult, and with as much dignity as he could muster left to rant at Geralt instead.

Not that Geralt complains. He is glad that Jaskier is there, and to be honest he expected this.

He heard Valdos nasal voice taking tone downstairs and unlatched his door so that Jaskier could come in and (pout) vent.

It is probably a little weird, but it makes Geralt happy. A little warm feeling in his chest that Jaskier chose to come to him.

“No.” Geralt says, because that is the safest, but also the truth.

It’s not funny, but it’s very cute.

Jaskier sighs dramatically and sits down next to Geralt on the bed.

“I guess you will never understand the woes of an artist.” he sighs, and produces the most excellent pout Geralt has seen in weeks.

 He can’t stop staring. His eyes are fixed to Jaskiers mouth, that lower lip sticking out and giving his lips a perfectly kissable shape.

This is not good.

Geralt tenses, taking control over his hands before they can do something dumb.

 Like stroking that lip with his thumb. Pushing at it to make it open up, to give him a puff of warm breath. Like leaning in and capturing it with his teeth.

That would be very dumb.

He is so focused on not doing that, that he doesn’t pay attention to Jaskier turning towards him.

Those very kissable lips fully turned towards him, giving him a perfect view.

He stares for another second before he catches himself and looks up. Realizing Jaskier hasn't said anything for a while, which is a little odd.

“What?” Geralt asks, but more like croaks really. Embarrassing.

Jaskier looks at him curiously, tilting his head. Geralt's eyes betray him and shoot down to the bard's lips and back up again.

The pout and the little frown with it is gone, but damn it makes him weak.

Is he closer than before? It feels like Jaskier is closer. And when did it get warmer? It definitely feels like it’s warmer in here.

“What are you looking at?” Jaskier asks him, like he doesn’t know, the little shit. The corner of his mouth is curling upwards in a satisfied little smirk.

“Nothing.” Geralt says, staring at Jaskiers eyes to make himself not look at his lips.

It’s a little awkward but he is holding on for dear life here, be nice.

 Jaskier is not nice.

 Because he is leaning forward, head still tilted and lips parted, looking somewhere below Geralt's nose.

“You sure?” He asks, the absolute bastard. His lashes are long and dark, his hair is still sticking up in odd angles.

Geralt wants to kiss him so bad. His brain is not listening to what Jaskier just said, he is too focused on those lips so close to his.

 “What?” He breathes, and then he loses the fight.

 He leans forward and closes the distance. Capturing that lower lip between his, finally. Jaskiers arms immediately circle his neck, one hand clenching in his hair.

Geralt's hand wants to touch, wants to feel that lip, but his own mouth is in the way, so it settles on Jaskiers slightly stubbled cheek.

Jaskier obviously isn’t satisfied with the one kiss, so there are two, and then three. And then Jaskier is the one licking Geralt's lip and he short circuits, breaks in at least five tiny pieces, forgets how to breathe, and then he lets him in.

 When Jaskier finally pulls back he makes a face. Geralt's stomach plummets, but it’s alright.

“I can’t believe Valdo Marx got to sing to our first kiss.”

Geralt smiles and leans forward, stealing another one.

“And second.” He smirks at Jaskier, who pouts. Ah, two trolls in a skirt, that is adorable.

 He feels his face doing something, his eyebrows moving and his lips pulling into something sappy.

Jaskiers mouth opens and then closes, eyebrows shooting up.

 “That’s the expression you have been hiding from me?! How dare you!” Jaskier accuses, and then throws himself at Geralt again, who just chuckles.

 A high, nasally and slightly sour note from downstairs and Jaskier pulls back again.

“Ugh. No. I can’t. Marx totally kills the mood.” Jaskier says, draping himself over Geralt's lap.

“Want me to go down and steal his lute?” Jaskier smiles and kisses Geralt's nose.

“Sweet of you. But that would ruin all of my hard work and we can’t have that.”

 ~

 It is entirely possible that Jaskier now has found out about this secret little soft spot. It is entirely possible that Jaskier is abusing this power against his witcher.

And they both love it.

[bleh-bleh-blehs]

Paps and Cafes [T.H x Reader]

A/N- so hey I am back with my shitty fics. This is low-key based on my friend’s life and thanks to her for letting me write it down (only she knows what is the truth and what’s not). Anyways feel free to ignore:)

Summary- Is there any difference between being stressed at home than being stress at a cafe? Yes there is. You can put a show for others but in your case a certain someone came in for your aid. 

Warning- None 

Word Count- 1.6k

Life was not easy. Not as easy as you thought it would be. No one prepared you for the taxes, rent and bills. And literally no one told you how hard doing a job can be. Your salary was nothing compared to the hard work you did; the stress you took. 

You had no fun at all. Either you were too tired to go out and have a night out with your friends or you did extra office work for a bonus. Just like now. You are sitting in an outdoor cafe doing your office’s work when you could have been enjoying this weekend by relaxing. 

Why were you here?

Because you thought that it would be a good idea. You thought that it would refresh your mind, better than stupid small aparment. But guess what it wasn’t. 

You were still stressed. The people around were either on a date or were with their friends or family. Practically radiating good vibes. You tried not to stare at them but the task in our hand almost made you cry. 

Reaching out for the file beside the plate of donut; accidentally knocking the plate over. But you were too overwhelmed to care. Tightly clutching the file, tears of frustration evident in your eyes. It was getting too much now. 

“Come on Tess. We don't eat food off the floor. I am really sorry for your donut. Do you want me to buy you a new one?” the person asked. 

Looking up you saw a man wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap with hoodie on. You simply nodded your head in a no, wiping some tears away. “It’s okay. I don’t mind at all.” you gave a weak smile. Honestly you have lost your appetite. You just eat because it is necessary. 

“Can I ask if it was a chocolate donut? The man asked. 

“No, it was a plain one.” the man took the seat in front of you, taking off his glasses. “I know that this is none of my business but are you okay?” 

“Would you believe me if i said that I am.” 

“No. I just know that you are stressed because look at your table. All this stuff is giving me a headache so…. I think you should just wrap it up to clear your mind. And I don't wanna hear any excuse. okay? ” he didn’t press the matter further. He definitely doesn’t know what is going on in your life. All he knows is that he isn’t gonna leave you like this. 

You wanted to argue but it is not like anyone is this friendly to you on a daily basis. And a little walk wouldn’t harm. 

*

“You know what you should quit that job. I mean you don’t deserve being treated like that” tom said as he took the last bite of his ice cream. You still couldn’t believe that Tom Holland,the famous and successful actor, the heartthrob of almost all of the girls was talking to you.

He listened to you rant about your almost pathetic life and even bought you your favourite ice cream. 

You were of course shocked when you realised who he was despite him telling that he is a normal person like everyone else. He also squeezed your hand to reassure you that this is not a dream; that he is actually here. 

Both of you talked about your lives, likes and dislikes, hobbies. Only the basic stuff. You told him about your low salary job, your evil boss and your not so friendly coworkers. Your love life which was near to extinction. And about your parents who desperately wanted you to get settled.

“It’s not that easy Tom. I am looking for another job but I don’t know when I will find one. At least this job pays enough for food and shelter.” you told him or more like convinced yourself. 

Silence fell between you both until Tessa whimpered. She was obviously tired from the long walk and it was getting cold and windy as the sun started to set. “I guess this is where we part.” you said softly. Praying that this moment never ends. But of course that was not gonna happen. 

“Yeah.” he gave you a soft smile. And you were sure that you were giving the heart eyes. Making a fool of yourself as usual. 

“Oww!” 

“What? What happened?” 

“I got something in my eye.” you were hopelessly trying to get whatever the hell was in your eye out. “Wait a moment. Let me see.” Tom’s large hands cup your face while you get a hold on his arms out of instinct. 

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” it felt weird as his finger touched your eyeball. “Stop moving. You are making this harder than it already is!” you stopped fidgeting instantly. 

“There you go.” Tom backed away from you as you tried to blink away the uneasy feeling. “Let’s walk you home shall we?” Tom said as he picked very tired Tessa from the ground and carried her as if she was a toddler. 

“You don’t have to.” he just smiled. “I want to.” never in million years you thought that a top notch actor will walk you to your apartment. 

“I am sorry if I am intruding but I can’t believe you are not dating somebody and you just gave up on your friends. Is your job really worth it?” he asked with genuine curiosity.

“I am single by my choice not because of my job. My last relationship didn’t end well. She cheated on me and my “friends” took her side except my coworker Andy. I have got trust issues since then.” you explained him. 

“I am so sorry” he felt guilty to make you remember your relationship again. 

“Don’t be. I did go on a date once; the guy gave me a judgy look as soon as I told him that I am a bisexual. I mean do nice people just stop existing or what?” you huffed in annoyance. 

Meanwhile Tom was trying to process everything in his brain. He was actually starting to like you and was worried that you won’t feel the same way for him since you were into girls. But he heard word ‘bisexual’ his worries vanished. There is nothing stopping him from taking you on a date. 

Tom was smiling to himself until he heard the shutter of the camera went off. That could be only one thing. 

Paparazzi

Tom spotted two people not so far from them. Tessa tried to wiggle out of Tom’s arms but he didn’t let her. “Y/N hold my arm and keep up with my pace. The paps are here.” you immediately started to look up for them.  

“No Y/N don’t look for them!” Tom whisper yelled. 

The two of you walked as fast as you could. Taking the subway to go to your house. You and Tom stood close to each other, completely aware that someone recognised Tom and snuck some pictures of you both. 

Tessa whimpered again and again; the poor baby was too uncomfortable. You scratched her head to soothe her as she laid her head on Tom’s shoulder. While Tom was giving you heart eyes. 

You sighed in relief as you reached your apartment. The whole day has been a roller coaster ride for you. Tom and Tessa followed you behind you. Tessa quickly jumped on your couch, closing her eyes, trying to get some rest. 

“Do you want something to eat or drink?” you asked Tom. “No I am fine.” Tom said as he took a seat beside Tessa. 

“I didn’t really get to enjoy that cafe though.” Tom wondered out loud. “Don’t worry, there many more cafes in the neighbourhood. You can visit them sometime.” You were walking around your apartment, trying to clean it as much as you could. It’s not like you are visited by a celebrity daily. 

“I don’t know, maybe you can show me around sometime?” you freezed at your spot. Was Tom Holland asking you on a date. You were freaking out. You are just imagining things right? 

“Do you agree with me, darling?” he smirked. How dare him to say that! “It’s alright if you don’t. I mean I totally understand if you don’t want to. I am so sorry because of the paps. I didn’t know that they would find us. I am so sorry Y/N.” he started to ramble. Becoming that adorable sweet bean instantly.

“Oh my god Tom it’s alright. Not the Paparazzi part but I am grateful that Tessa ate my donut and that relieved my stress. I really needed someone like you. I don’t know what we can do about paps, they will just give more stress. But I felt better when you were with me.” Tom gave you that million dollar smile that everybody dies on. 

“I wanna kiss you so bad right now.” he confessed. 

“What’s stopping you then.” 

“No, not before I take you on an actual date.” he grinded. “Which cafe do you want to show me first, Donut?” 

“Donut?” you asked him while trying to control your laugh. “Yes donut. What’s so wrong with donut. It’s my nickname for you.” your smile became more wide than before. 

“Then what do you want me to call you? Ice cream?” 

“Yes?” he gave you a puzzled look. Not sure if he wanted to be called ‘ice cream’. And a thought came to your mind. “You don’t have any problem with me being bisexual?” you asked him. “Why would I? I mean it's not my place to judge or have a problem with it, now is it?” you smiled at his answer, already falling hard for this man.

page divider by @fancyxparker​

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[calypsoff2]

Ten.

I wouldn’t think I would be awake so early, we arrived in pure luxury, and I just felt like I started a new life with Chris, as soon as I got off the jet I felt stress free instantly, I am ready to just be us for a few days. Celebrate us lasting actually, but I mean that in the best way possible. I always felt like people didn’t like it, I mean the greater people in my life. My management hated I married so early on; I got a baby so early too. There was so much potential being single, no baggage. Then on top of that I kept getting pregnant, so I had to prove a point, I had to push myself and my kids got neglected but I am getting there, I am getting a balance, but I had to prove that my private life isn’t theirs for the taking, and now look at us, I am so happy. I miss my kids of course but I am just happy to have this break, as soon as Chris and I got into this hotel room that was filled with roses, wine we had sex as soon as we got here and fell asleep, I think the butler just wated to leave, he was gone before we knew it, but I am just so happy. Just to have the double doors open, to feel the breeze from the ocean, just pure peace. Taking in a deep breath and looked up at Chris with the biggest smile on my face, life is great. Chris holding me while we slept, I don’t even remember that Chris put his boxers on actually. Furrowing my eyebrows not remembering that at all, pushing the covers off of him, he is knocked out asleep which makes me laugh, his ass bust a nut and he’s over it.

Sliding a finger under the elastic band of his boxers, lifting the fabric, biting my lip as his member poked out from his boxers, his member resting against his stomach. He's always a morning person, actually he can have it at any time, he has no time, but I sure do like to see a boner. Curling my fingers carefully around the base of his member, I glanced up and find myself greeted with his warm, sleepy eyes as he blinks down at me “I wasn’t conscious, it’s rape babe” he wakes up being dumb, as always “Morning, poppa” I murmur softly, he's always slow to wake in the mornings, eyes hazy and unfocused. He's gentle, sometimes a little clumsy, but always affectionate in a way that makes my heart melt a little. Flashing him a grin, I leaned down, my tongue swiping a lazy path around his swollen head before I let him slide past my lips, my suction gentle as I eases him into a rhythm. A groan rumbles out of his chest, making me shiver slightly. He tastes good, he feels good, he sounds good, Chris always tastes good and there isn’t no lying about that.

He's intoxicating, in more ways than one, and the damp heat between my thighs is testament to that. His fingers tangle into the back of my head as I bob gently over him, dragging my hand over the thick length of him that isn't surrounded by the heat of my mouth. I can feel the tension beneath me as his body wakes up, and I let the fingers of my free hand settle at his hip. His body settles and I hum softly, drawing him deeper into my mouth for a long moment before releasing him with a pop of my lips that has him groaning all over again “man, Robyn" he mumbles, his voice low and sweet and slightly breathless, thumb rubbing behind my ear. Before he can catch his breath, I am on him again, this time picking up a rhythm that's gentle, but dirty enough to have him twitching and writhing beneath me even as I control the strength of his body with the simple press of my fingers at the pressure point on his hip.

The stroke of my hand has him choking out my name, this is between crying and choking out my name. He is completely undone “fuck” I am not stopping either, he is riding this out no matter the point of him pushing my head away. I swallow the evidence of his orgasm with my eyes locked on with his, my name on his lips. To have this much power over Chris is the biggest turn on for me, releasing him from my lips, I lets my fingers continue a gentle, soothing rhythm over his slow softening length as I crawl up his body, laying my cheek against his shoulder and pressing a kiss against his collarbone as I listen to his breathing slow and feels the steady burn of arousal through my body. “Robyn” he said softly, drawing my focus and sounding exactly like a man who just woke up to some world class head from his wife and I am proud of that shit. Laughing softly, I tipped my head up to graze a kiss against his jaw “mute now” I said laughing “a little” he mumbles, resting my head on his chest. Letting his palm smooth up and down my spine “shower” he kissed the top of my head, not until he can tell me that was the best head he got “that head was unbelievable, I am still speechless” I had to laugh because I was waiting on that.

Feeling a hand on my shoulder, looking up and Chris pressed a kiss to my lips “mhmm” I said grinning as he sat across me “just orange juice brother” Chris said as he sat down across from me, looking away seeing the ocean view. I swear I am in my zone; this is the life I love. I think I would be happier living in Barbados, I think it’s the best thing if we could, but we have no choice but to stay in Cali for work “you look so happy, thank you” looking back at Chris, the butler walked off “I am, don’t you think this is the life? The sun, the people, like there is no drama Chris. I love it, and the breakfast” Chris already started to eat “and the sex” of course he would add that to the list “true and the sex, I am glad I chose to do this. We needed this gateway, it’s nice to just be us. Are you happy now? Like glad we are here?” Chris nodded his head “I am here for the sex” if he says that one more time “is that all I am to you?” Chris paused before he ate his toast “I am joking, don’t get offended. I am happy to be here with you, just to not have the kids interrupt us. I feel like we have to cater to them, now we can do it for us” he winked at me, taking in a deep breath “so, what you think to Mel having a baby by that dickhead?” I asked “she is stupid, not shocked though. He would knock her up for money, I mean she pay him” I sniggered “she doesn’t have money like that, but she will sure put a roof over his head, that makes her step mother too. She is so fucking stupid; I am so angry with her. I don’t understand why you would do that, like he is going to be connected to us. I don’t want it” Chris shook his head “he won’t be, trust me. I won’t forgive him for doing that to me, he has no job, no home, no money or anything. Fuck him, this trip ain’t about him or even Mel, she is a bird” poking my lips out at him.

Clearing my throat, I know he said he doesn’t want to speak on Mel, but he did mention about Mel having sex constantly “go on” Chris said claspin his hands together smirking, he knows I want to ask “what you think about the whole thing? I am actually angry at you too, you knew! Why didn’t you tell me about them idiots!” I spat “minding my business, yes I knew Robyn, but they wanted to keep this low. I feel like personally Mel was ashamed, she didn’t want you to know at all, she was big on that” Mel really pissed me off, well she has practically lied to me “but what has TJ been saying about Mel, you called my friend a bird?” I want to know now “things” he shrugged “first you don’t tell me about them being together and now you are holding back on me?” he is being so annoying right now “look at you wanting to know, TJ just said things like he does like Mel and that she had sex with him on the first day, she was up for it and they had sex in all holes as he stated, she was easy in a way. Mel just put out and that she isn’t like you, he did mention that. He was worried she wouldn’t want Camron at that time, he spoke on also Mel is good at sex, come to think of it he spoke on their sex life a lot” putting my hand up “stop, he’s just making my friend easy, like she is a whore that is sick of him to say that to you and also you repeating it, please don’t say that to Mel again, it’s disrespectful because she don’t know what was being said” Chris nodded his head but I don’t know if he will actually listens to me because it’s Chris “so what was said about it, well this boy talk seems mediocre to be fair” Chris put his head down, I would like to know but if he doesn’t want to say then he doesn’t, Chris looked up at me “shall we get over with it now?” blowing out air “I suppose” I mumbled, I mean what are we waiting for.

“I just want you to know that this was all boy talk, but I feel like because I have fallen out with TJ that I need to tell you, I just don’t trust him. He may twist my words; I mean he pretty much used my words against me with what he was saying ok? I mean ok you’re allowed to be angry but please don’t’ argue with me because I am human, I need to rant do I not” nodding my head, I can imagine it being stupid talk now “I won’t, just tell me” then we can move on with the trip “so basically the whole thing with Mel, like why TJ spoke on that was because I spoke on us having sex, that we have good sex. We did anal and that shit was good, but he started saying about Mel and just my hate for your lingerie, I dislike that you show your body off. I ranted about it, I had to let it out. So he was listening to me say that, just seeing you looking so sexy it just annoyed me because I can imagine other men jerking off to it, so that is what I spoke on because I was mad, and we touched on that you speak to me like a child, but I think I was just being sensitive at that moment. Then we put a bet down that you will leave again, so that is why he bought it up. TJ agreed with what I said about you always leaving and being away from the kids. We spoke on cheating” my face dropped, Chris is watching my reaction “he asked if that is something I would, because I was pretty fed up because when we had sex that night you just laid there, and you were so depressive so he asked and I said no, there is one thing I will never do because you are a good wife, I knew it was a bad patch, so we spoke on that. TJ when thinking back he fed off my negativity. When I spoke on something that annoyed me he fed off it but it is what it is, I guess I got to keep my mouth shut” shaking my head “sorry if like I have angered you” he apologised “don’t be sorry Chris, I have spoken to Mel about you too. I have said things like he lasted a minute even then when you speak that you want me to eat your ass, it happens but I also get why you told me. Is there anything else? I don’t want to hear it again?” Chris shook his head, I am not even angry at what he said at all, it’s talk “speak to me, even if it’s about me” Chris laughed “sure” he mumbled, I know he won’t but still.

[elletromil]

And for the last prompt from @unexpected-nightview here’s a direct sequel to Keeping warm

♡: Accidentally falling asleep together 

--

“But turtles! The thing about turtles- You see the thing is- The turtles!”

At the lack of reaction, Tiezui looks down to where Rishan has the side of his cheek pressed against his stomach and frowns when he notices his eyes are closed. Petulantly, he pokes at his cheek.

“Lieutenant! Lieutenant, if you’re about to sleep, I’ll just stop talking!”

To be honest, he’s feeling a bit tired himself. The celebration for Fo Ye and Yin Xinyue’s wedding has been rather lively. Even after Rishan and himself have decided to retire to a more secluded location -- Ba Ye’s usual guestroom at the mansion -- they’ve talked and giggled like children for quite some time afterwards. And if Tiezui is a bit disappointed that Rishan hasn’t done more than idly play with the ends of the scarf that is hiding the evidence of what exactly they got up to the other time they’ve been alone this evening, he’s not that far gone to not realise neither of them are in any state to do anything more.

And, to be entirely honest, it’s been rather nice to spend time alone together without anything urgent to attend to or risking their lives. To have the possibility to just sit there in bed, passing a bottle of wine back and forth, their sides pressed together for no other reason than because they want to be close. To feel Rishan slowly slide down the mattress until he ended up more or less lying in his lap.

Tiezui’s finger is still relentlessly poking at Rishan’s cheek and the other man lets out a pathetic attempt at a growl as he tries to slap Tiezui’s face in retaliation.

He’s not successful in hitting Tiezui, but it does make Tiezui stop poking him since he leaves his face alone in order to grab the flailing hand.

“No need for violence,” he huffs in mock annoyance, pressing a kiss on the captured fingers simply because they’re right there.

Rishan giggles at the gesture and it so unfair how he is both handsome and adorable. It should be illegal. Tiezui will have to convince Fo Ye to make it so. He’ll come up with arguments tomorrow.

“Don’t stop,” Rishan pleads, voice groggy with sleep.

And usually, Tiezui dislikes listening to orders, even such weak ones, but he also rather likes kissing Rishan, no matter the body part. So instead of refusing to comply, he just starts peppering his hand with fleeting kisses.

Rishan giggles again. “Talking- I meant talking.”

“Oh.”

Though, Rishan’s words are rather belied by the displeased whine that escapes him when Tiezui lets go of his hand. Taking pity on him, Tiezui grabs his hand again, but this time only link their fingers together and bring their joined hand to rest on top of his heart.

“You’re falling asleep. I’m boring you.”

It’s meant as a joke, but the mere idea that Rishan finds him dull hurts more than it should.

Rishan snorts and pokes him in the stomach with his free hand.

“No. I like- I like hearing you talk. Even if I’m not listening.”

It should be insulting, but somehow it only feels flattering.

And it explains why Rishan sometimes seems to go out of his way to get Tiezui to rant about something. The idiot.

He should know he only needs to ask if he wants Tiezui to talk.

Though Tiezui will admit that their bickering and friendly arguments are more than a bit fun.

“Tell me. Tell me about the turtles.”

And the truth is, Tiezui doesn’t remember what was his point about the turtles.

But it doesn’t matter.

If Rishan wants him to talk, he’ll find something to say.

And so Tiezui talks and talks. He talks even when he feels Rishan relax into sleep after Tiezui’s free hand comes up to idly play in his hair.

He talks about anything and nothing at all.

Talks until it feels like words have lost their very meaning.

Until he, too, falls asleep.

[gayfrenchtoast]

Despite sleep juice brain still go brr so

Harry Potter if Lily and James DIDNT DIE

A fan theory ramble

Also fuck JK Rowling

Okay so Harry Potter would be taught about the order and the dangers of the wizarding world early on due to James and Lily's positions and James probably being all hug ho about Harry not being afraid of Voldemort especially after that faithful night they almost died to him but didn't because Sirius was watching over their house that night and came to save them. They found out Wormtail was the traitor and sent him scampering and took max precautions after that.

Harry is more arrogant in this version because "my parents are great wizards and my parents and Godfather fought Voldemort and sent him packing" however big bad V did manage to land a hit on him that gave him his scar, unknown if this makes him a haucrux yet. So yeah he's arrogant and he's super confident he's gonna go to hogarth and be an awesome gryffindoor

Lily made Snape and James "make up like adults" and be civil for her and Harry's sakes. They shit talk each other behind their backs and though this in first year made Harry dislike Snape especially since James would shit talk about Snape to Harry and Harry would then overhear Snape shit talking his dad as he got older he just came to accept it and listen to it for the petty drama, ever got Snape to shit talk his dad to him and so they'd just vent at him about each other and no it isn't healthy but damn is it funny to Harry.

Harry does meet Ron and Hermione on the train for the first time, makes friends with Ron by buying some of the sweets from the trolley, with the money James slipped to him before he got on, for them to share. Kinda teases Hermione first time they meet by opening the chocolate frog to her when she asks about the toad ("are you sure it's not a frog? Cus I found THIS" he opens the box in a flash and the chocate frog makes a leap, right towards Hermione. She let's out a high help and leaps back in surprise only for Harry to catch it before it can even get that close to her. Both he and Ron laugh at her reaction as the girl flushes red with rage and embaressment, beginning to turn to presumably storm off. "Wait wait! I'm sorry, I was just joking! Here, you can have it. I only really want the card anyway." He grins as he offers the chocolate frog that was mostly reverting into mainly chocolate form. She looked hesitant but did carefully take the token of good faith, inspecting it a little just to be sure. "...fine. I accept your apology. I shall continue to look for the toad. And by the way, we'll be arriving soon. You might want to get changed into your robes." And she trots off, seemingly satisfied with whatever good job she did.)

Malfoy, who's heard about the boy who's family sent the dark Lord to the shadows, I quick to try and belittle Harry and then try and make it sound like he could "redeem his family name" by becoming friends with him. Harry basically laughs and says he knows of malphoy and his family and he's proud his family was the ones that fought Voldemort instead of the ones who bent over for him. Draco is stunned and pretty pissed.

Sorting hat Ceremony makes it real interesting. Ron gets in Gryffindoor, as expected, however Hermione is in Ravenclaw, Nevil is in Hufflepuff and Harry Potter is in Slytherin. With Draco Malfoy. Who he just insulted.

Harry is devastated to be in Slytherin. He deadass argues with the hat but is forced to concede and go sit and just accept that he's a Slytherin. Ron is conflicted that his new friend who's family fought Voldemort is in slytherin and Draco appears to have the same problem. Despite now being in the same house a rivalry forms between them which is only enhanced by them bunking in the same room.

Harry writes home about this and both James and Lily assure him it's okay he's in Slytherin, Lily tells him that Snape was a Slytherin and Snape is their friend and James reminds him that Slytherin does not mean evil and Gryffindoor does not mean good, wormtail was a Gryffindoor and he turned them over to the dark Lord. This does make him feel a bit better.

Harry manages to maintain his friendship with Ron despite their houses, it's weird at first but they quickly break down that barrier and become great friends, goofing around, becoming friends with the Groundskeeper, which helps them become friends with Hermione.

They make friends with Nevil by saving his rememberall when draco throws it. Nevil helps them with herbology homework from then on. Minera advises Snape to get Harry to be seeker for Slytherin Quiditch after she sees what he does and Harry, who still sees Slytherin as kinda the enemy despite being in it, hesitantly agrees. Slytherin Quiditch is allot less friendly that Gryffindoor, the team is allot colder to him at first, however once he proves himself he finds he loves the sport more than he cares about what team or house he's in and his team warm up to him and actually turn out to not be as scary and mean as he thought. They're still kinda arrogant assholes but Harry is too so he dosent have room to judge

Deadass I do not care about the Philosipers stone shit, people don't think Harry is some kind of chosen one, he and his family survived voldemort and are kinda celebrities for that but because there no tragedy within a year of the event there are rumours its a hoax and eventually the potters surviving the dark Lord becomes a roumour itself so people aren't trying to actively sabotage him. And since he don't think Snape is a stranger out to get him (litterally confronts him about his sus and Snape is like "nah fam I may not like hour dad but you're like my godson I'm not gonna try and kill you in the middle of a quiditch match on a broom" and Harry is like "oh...okay nvm but if you're lying I'm telling my mum" and when he dosent flinch he knows he's telling the truth) and so they quickly figure it was Quirrel. When Hermione puts sus on him Harry decides to be very Slytherin when they confront him in the bathroom and tries to wingardium leviosa him into the air, only getting his turban and showing off his voldemort face. In front of like three other teachers. Fight ensues, day saved, stone safe.

They do find the mirror while goofing off one night and Harry sees himself as a Gryffindoor with his parents proud. He dosent visit the mirror again

Harry gets the invisibility cloak from James that year for Christmas with the strict instructions that he will not tell anyone except those he trusts of its existence.

Draco, probably in second year again, ends up calling Hermione a mud blood at some point ("Potter! You're making our house look bad hanging out with that mud blood!) Harry immidately starts yelling at Draco for that and it quickly escalates to them fist fighting. Sape ends up being the one to discipline them, actually telling Draco off for using such a phrase but still punishing Harry for starting Violence. This is what ends up with them being punished by being sent into the woods with Hagrid. They somehow end up bodmung on tbsi trip, Harry asking why Draco would do that and Draco launching into a tirade about how "father says it and father is always right! He'd beat me if I was friends with a mud blood why should you get to do this and that id get punished for this and that father this father that-" you get the picture. Harry just lets him rant until he's done and then is like "wow your dad is a dick" and drack tries to.deny but Harry just goes through all the shitty stuff draco just told him his father did and draco is just like "...you won't tell my father we talked about this will you" "look mate, I dont ever wanna even meet your father and if I did meet him I would have a bunch of other shit to say to him and a few gestures." And so Harry managed to convince Draco his dad is the dick he is and begins on a mission to get him to see that and be better than him.

Harry goes home for Christmas but always sends his friends gifts. In second year before they depart on the train he gives Draco something before they part ways. He knows a gift would probably be suspicious from him arriving at Malfoy Manor so he gives to to Draco with instructions to only open it at christmas. On christmas day, when he gets some alone time, Draco opens the gift. It's a metal bangle of a Snake that when he rubs it and says a set word it becomes a warm light in the darkness. Draco only says uts acceptable when they meet in the new year bug Harry sees him wearing it and catches him using it at night.

Sometimes Harry has nightmares about the night Voldemort tried to kill his family and of the dark Lord himself. Draco has nightmares of his father and death eaters. When they wake the other up from the nightmares they sit ul and talk about them, abiut random thing or just make teasing jabs at each other until they're comfortable to sleep again

Draco gives up the information they need about the chamber when asked so no need for polyjuice, apologises to Hermione on their way out from the Slytherin dorm room, visits her and brings her and apology chocolate frog for when she is cured (the boys told him they were her favorite) and follows Ron and Harry to the chamber, demanding he be a part in the adventure. Its the Basilisk and Tom Riddle that terrify Draco and seals the deal on his conversion over to the "oppose the dark Lord" side

Draco sets Dobby free

Let's get some Potter family back in here for the hell of it. Sirius has been in love with Remus for yeaaars. Lily knows and is his emotional support. James is oblivious. Remus is with Tonks for a few years but talks to James about his doubts. James is all "naah man Tonks is great! I understand you don't think yihre worthy of a great girl but you are man! Belive in yourself!" And so Remus sticks with it. By Harry's third year there are rumours in the order of Wormtail being about, Remus becomes Hogwart's defence against the dark arts teacher and Sirius is a wreck with Harry and Remus in the frey but him stuck on the sidelines, even Tonks is confused and kinda annoyed with his fretting causing him to confess to her that he lives her boyfriend. She's surprisingly chill and is like "deadass I've been waiting for years for him to break up with me and get with you you two are so stupid" and so Sirius runs off in doggy disguise to confess to moony and arrives in time to help save the day

Draco slowly intergrates into the friend group, Ron bringing some of his friends (Dean and Sean) in a bit and Draco trying to bring some of his friends (Crab Goil and Blaze) but they're mostly hesitant (except from Blaize who wants help on his Herbology from the smart awkward Hufflepuff)

Draco pretends not to be worried about the dementors and Harry's fear of them but he always has his eye on them whenever he sees one.

The demontors were sent out to look for Peter Pettigrew.

Harry shares the maunders map with Draco when he finds it. Harry recognises whk the maunders are as soon as he sees it but doesn't tell Fred and George. However when they see Peters name they rush to Remus. Remus is in a bit of a tiz by this and tells them to follow him with the invisibility cloak as they go look for him. They never find him that night and he ends up dissapearing off the map but Remus still confiscated the map for the night and tells them to keep an eye out for anything suspicious, including rats. They're confused but promise to be careful.

Draco doesn't try and get buckbeak executed this time, he deadass is working with Harry to gain the hypogriff's trust and some slytherins that are pussdd they're being all friendly with other houses set off a loud spell that spooks buckhead and draco shoves Harry out of the way before he can get hurt and takes the brunt. None knows how word got to Lucius, it causes an argument in the group especially when Drsco is too afraid to stand up to his father but Harry stands up to him as he knows why Daco is afraid and they work out a plan to free buckbeak instead.

The plan ends up co-inciding with the day Sirius breaks into hogwarts. The dementors know there's an intruder but can't find him so are more active that usual, Sirius doesn't get tome to confess because as soon as he arrives Remus is all work mode and fills him in on the map and all and needs Sirius' nose to sniff him out. The kids plan of rescue is interupted because of this and most continues as normal with Harry furious at Peter not Sirius when he's revealed for trying to get his family killed and Draco tagging along. Snape busting in let's Peter escape unfortunately and then full moon and dementors happen. They manage to rescue buckbeak and themselves with time Turner magic and all is good.

After the full moon is done sirius sniffs out Moony and crades him in his arms until he wakes up, its there in the sunrise he tearfully tells him he loves him and with a clear mind Remus tells him he loves him too.

Draco ends up actually getting into an argument with his dad about trying to get buckbeak killed when he gets home which starts Draco's proper rebellious streak with also means an increase of strictness from Lucius. Draco and Harry send secret messages back and forth.

Thats all for now but I have ideas for the rest of the stories I will ramble about later!

[hypocrisyofandrewdobson]

Alright, here we go again....

So I’m going to make this it’s own separate post since Dobson has made this its own thing, buut in case anyone’s interested, here’s where Dobson claims he doesn’t send death threats even though he has, and here’s where you can see him celebrating someone getting cancer even though he claims he’d “never wish it on his worst enemy(at the time also shitting on someone who died of cancer that day.

So let’s get started.

First things first: the reason Dobson can’t reblog it is because he blocked @crimson-ace and because Dobson doesn’t want said callout to be seen by his “Look at how progressive I am for hating Reylo!” comic. Dobson is the OP of the post, he could easily respond on said post if he wanted to.

Secondly, Dobson makes the excuse that because the President, Rush Limbaugh, and Republicans in general “deserve to die”, that means it’s completely okay for him to wish death on them multiple times(to the point that it got him permanently banned from Twitter) and mock someone for getting a terminal illness. I personally could care less if you love, hate, or are indifferent to the President, Limbaugh, GOP, ect, but you can’t get on your moral high horse and say sending death threats and harassing people is wrong, but then turn around and go “it’s okay when I do it!” when it’s someone you don’t like. Not only is it hypocritical as hell. It’s a really shitty thing to do in general.

Thirdly, Dobson likes to claim that because Trump is “literally trying to kill me and my friends”, it’s okay for him to send death threats. While I’ve already covered the death threats bit, Dobson’s idea of Trump trying to kill him is the President getting rid of Obamacare. That’s literally all it it. Dobson claims that if Obamacare is gone, he couldn’t afford his PTSD and depression medication and will die because of it. Now I’ll take this moment to not only point out that not only are Dobson’s claims of having PTSD and the like very suspect, he is literally mooching off his very rich parents, not having a job and living with them despite being 38 years old.

And yes, if you are angry or upset at the the President or the government, it is completely fine to be upset or send an angry response. What ISN’T okay is screaming and ranting for their death or celebrating someone getting cancer just for being Republican.

Unfortunately, we aren’t quite done, because someone sent an Ask to Dobson in support of him sending death threats, and Dobson took the opportunity to make himself a victim again while also lying about this blog.

Nobody expects you to be 100% pure, Dobson. That’s stupid. You are a hypocrite because you don’t actually believe half the stuff you say, you just say it to appear morally superior or play the victim or villainize the person who disagrees with you.

And as I’ve pointed out multiple times, this is not a hate blog. I’ve actually defended you multiple times when misinformation about you is being spread, mainly because you do enough shitty things on your own without people needing to make things up about you.

I do like how his example of me pointing out his hypocrisy is “liking/not liking a movie” when the whole point of that recent post was showing how you’ll shill for Disney as much as possible unless it’ll make you seem morally superior to throw them under the bus. It’s also rather convenient that you don’t mention incidents like calling a teenage trans girl a Nazi for disagreeing with you, belittling a teenage lesbian for being creeped out by your KorraSami obsession, trying to villify someone the day they died from cancer because you felt like you deserved the attention and pity more, telling a victim of female bullying that it’s his fault for being male, having a clear lesbian fetish and pretending that you’re just a supporter of LGBT, pretending to be a teenage lesbian so you could draw porn of women being inflated and popped, refusing to take any form of criticism whatsoever but going out of your way to insult and belittle people for not doing something the way you think is best, claiming that anyone who disliked The Last Jedi only did so because they’re racist, sexist, and a Nazi...hell, I have an entire post linking to all these examples and more.

And you’re right, it’s not hypocrisy to change your mind or want to change. The problem is that you are still doing these things and not changing. You are still sending death threats and claiming one thing when just days ago you claimed the opposite. You’re not trying to change or get better, in fact you’re actively getting worse. You still only care about the L in LGBT, you just make up excuses and attack the person who points it out. You claim to speak up for women, yet the second a women disagrees with you or calls you out, you venomously belittle and insult them for daring to question you.

And this has all happened in the last month alone.

I don’t call out when you claim to like a movie and then months later hate it. I call you out when you want to villify and condemn anyone who not liking a movie, calling them evil Nazis, but the second the sequel has a character kiss another character you hate(because in your mind they’re a stand-in for the alt-right) you throw a fit and talk about how “heteronormative couples are bad” and “I don’t understand straight couples”, or hate on men and claim “men are the cause of everything wrong in the world”, or call for the extermination of all white people...when you yourself are a straight white man.

So yes, I’m going to call you out when you’re being a shitty person and a hypocrite, because you are continuing to do so and not at all trying to change for the better, instead just constantly making yourself out to be an innocent victim.

Actually take some personal responsibility in your life, fucking hell.

[wallstoothin]

A Bouquet Instead of a Goodbye

fixed up one of my fics

Akechi Goro’s body was eventually found, it was tucked away in some bush near the diet building. His eyes wide, broken, and very very dead. A proper autopsy showed a bullet hole on his forehead and a matching exit hole at the back of his head. There were also small cuts and bruises all over his body, their origin unknown. Some speculate that the detective was held hostage and eventually killed due to the lack of cooperation from the police department. Others said that it was from an old grudge from a case he did long ago. A situation like these happens in movies all the time. Who's to say it can’t happen in real life.

The one who found him was an ordinary gardener, the bush was growing wild and it was about the time to trim it. Based on the news the gardener ran all the way to the police station unable to utter a word and completely forgetting about the phone in his pocket, dragging the poor rookie all the way to the body. It was said by some sources that the young man almost threw up on the dead body.

The world mourned before they started pointing fingers because that’s what society does best. But the search for the culprit ended as soon as it started. His father, the disgraced politician  who had abandoned his son long before his birth, has admitted in prison that he had plans of killing him. The news ate it up. 

Akira found out from the comfort of his home, watching the evening news as he brushed Morgana’s hair. He could only stare at the dead body on the screen as his phone rang beside him. The news censoring the blood and gore as an announcer talked about Akechi. Later announcing that there would be a short thirty minutes special celebrating the life and accomplishment of Goro Akechi coming soon. There will also be a live funeral for him, his remains would be going under Shido’s family tomb for the sake of tradition. No one cared over the fact that it was Shido who ruined the young man’s life and set him up for a path of self destruction and ruins. And the fact that Akechi would most likely protest. But no one heard him, he’s dead after, and the dead don’t speak.

He can feel Morgana’s paws clawing at his shirt trying to get his attention, his phone just as whiny as his feline friend was also going off. Akira let out a sigh, reaching towards the remote and turning off the television with a small ‘click’ from the power button. He ignored Morgana’s questions of ‘Are you ok’ and the constant calls and messages from his friends. He stood up and brushed off any lingering cat hair that stuck to his pants and legs making a mental note of vacuuming sometime later before he get in trouble with his parents and head to his room.

He needs to do some research.

Akira has never attended a funeral before, he’s been invited to a few sometime during elementary and middle school but he never went. He wondered if his sister in heaven hates him for never going to hers. Akira also wonders what Akechi would think when he told Morgana and everyone else that he has no plan of turning into Akechi’s public funeral or when he decline the invitation Sae-san send him through email an hour after. 

That funeral is for the detective prince, a mask that Akechi wore in order to feel some semblance of love. But in the end that love was too distant for the dead man. Akira can see it right now, thousands of young girls watching as the black car pass by as they cry, some holding on to their handkerchief while others scream their confession out loud for the world but not Akechi to hear. Akira feels that he would not be able to stand going to a funeral like that. From what he heard, Haru and Futaba also decline going to the event. He hasn't heard from everybody else but he suspects that Ryuji might skip as well. 

He let out another tired sigh as he stared at his old laptop screen, he still had things to do. But at this rate he’ll be up all night. Akira can hear the rant Morgana have in store for him later but maybe if he play his card right he should be able to stay up late. He later watched Morgana eat his fatty tuna, his wallet clutch in his hand. His wallet was looking slightly lonelier but at least he got what he want.

A week passed and life went on as usual. The public forgot about the incident until the funeral where the name Akechi Goro is once again trending on the net. On the day of the funeral Akira left the house at five am, making sure to leave a note behind for Morgana to read. No need to leave anything for his parents. 

The walk from his house to the train station was long but he was unsure if the bus even operate at this time and like hell is he going to leave his bike near the station. Even in the city there are times where the train comes few and the buses fewer so he can’t really complain about it being just a ‘countryside problem’. He have no choice but to take the long route.

 It gave him even more time to reflect. Since he’s been back in his sleepy hometime that’s all he can do without being given a strange glance or an ugly look. Everything was quiet in his hometown even during the afternoon where everyone would be out of school and shopping around but it would still be quiet, no sound this town could make would ever compare to the Shibuya crossing and for some reason it irks him. Which led to a new habit of wearing headphones around his neck in case things get too quiet around, of course another good substitute is Morgana who enjoys chatting about the things he sees or other small topics that he demands Akira pay attention to. 

By the time he made it to the train station the sky had turned from a murky blue to a bright and sunny one. The train station was empty save for the workers and a few people in suits. It was still early after all. Had Akira decided to leave the house two hours later the station would be filled with people and many more inside the train. He did not want to be seen today. Akira checked his phone to look at the time. He still have another two hours before he reaches Shibuya, still a lot of time to spare. It was probably best to check the group chat before the rest of the gang do something stupid. 

Akira:

I’m alright guys don’t worry

The replies he got were all the same asking if he was really alright and if he need someone to come over. He’s been offline for days and now that he gets a good look at his notification he can see that his messaging app has over a few hundred unread messages.

 He softly smiled, the feeling of warmth covering his chest. He loved his friends. They cared for him more than anyone else in his life and he will do anything for them. 

Akira:

I’m sorry for not answering all you calls

And texts. My family has been busy.

He added a cute frowny emoji for good measure.

Akira:

I won’t be online for the rest of the day

Sorry! Talk to you all later

He felt bad lying to his friends. But today he’s on a solo mission. He doesn’t want anyone else to be with him. He hopes they can understand. Akira slips his headphones back on and lean back in his seat, his hand reaching out and pulling the blinds so they fully cover the window and for the rising sun light stays out of his eyes. His destination is still a long way. A quick nap before then couldn’t hurt. 

===

The news mentioned him once today. It was more of a passing comment from a news channel that barely talked about him when he was alive treats him just the same dead. The big screen on the building creates white noise behind the already loud Shibuya. He knows he shouldn’t dawdle, who knows how everyone will react if he takes too long to answer back. He doesn't want to worry them ever again. 

An aggravated sigh escaped his lips. Today is not about him. He shouldn’t be selfish today of all days. He needs to quickly transfer trains before someone spots him and distracts him from his task. 

He reaches into his pocket expecting his train pass to be in there, he doesn't have any money in the card at the moment but it should make entering and leaving the station much easier as soon as he refills it.

And his pocket is empty. 

Guess in the end he has to buy a ticket. Yippie. 

Putting paying extra aside-he still have some metaverse money that he split evenly between the team long after their last heist and a short while before his departure. In the end everyone received a good amount of cash and after a long lecture from Makoto went mostly to saving so wasting five hundred yen for a round trip shouldn't hurt his bank account at all. 

The train in Shibuya is much busier than the one he took from his hometown. He scoffs, Of course it’s busier everyone here is always busy doing their own thing and living their own lives. It was almost disturbing to see how quickly city folks move from one topic to another especially after seeing the public’s one track mind on the Phantom thieves and Akechi but that was all due to the influence of the false God. Now that everyone is free, everything went back to the same boring way it was before. 

The city charm has long died out somewhere along his journey. But it was better than the countryside for sure, as a third year he now have to worry about college and future plans. Whatever it is he hopes he can do it by his friends’ side and not alone. 

There was a soft melody on the overhead, that must be his train. He stepped aside as the people leaving rushed out, and as soon as the last person exited he made his move. He quickly glanced around the cart, there’s no empty seats how unlucky considering he’ll have to stand for another thirty minutes . The train was filled with sleeping salarymen and bored elderly. He knows he’s not getting a seat anytime soon. He pulled out his phone and opened the music app. He never liked the waiting game but hopefully music can make time go by faster.

-

Akira also dislikes being squeezed to the point he can feel his ribs but being in Tokyo comes with a price. The train was not that packed compared to the early morning rush that he dealt with every morning for the past year. But not being able to pull out his phone to change the song, has made the trip much longer than expected, when Akira pushed his way out of the train he let out a huge sigh in relief. It was a good thing he decided to buy the supplies on this stop, the last thing he need is to feel the glares of fellow passengers over spilt water and crushed petals all over someone’s over expensive suit.

A sponge, a small box of incense, small candles along with two canned coffee . He ignored the sad look the cashier passed him as she was ringing him up. Did he have everything he needed? He thinks he does but if he did forget something then there are sure to be a convenience store nearby. He still have some time before the next bus comes, maybe he can buy a triple seven chicken and gobble it down. 

As he step out of the store he paused in his step. Flowers ! How could he have forgotten about the flowers especially since he was complaining about it earlier. He open up his metaverse free navigator. It was still too early but there should be one place that’s open right? He grin widely after finding out that yes there is a place nearby that’s already open. A small family run store instead of the big corporate one that he worked in once before. Hopefully they can help him pick up the perfect bouquet for him. 

An hour later and a few thousand yen emptier, Akira finally reach the grounds.

The hike up the hill was just as stressful as the trip getting there, he nodded to the monk who was sweeping and headed over to the sink and grabbed one of the available pail filling it with water and started making his way up the hill. It took awhile for Akira to find the right grave, he did not have an exact location and it was not like the monk at the entrance knew each place by heart, so Akira had to walk pass each individual family grave until he found one that was covered with dirt and weed. 

Here it is. Abandoned and left alone like the people who’s spirit left there. He put down the bucket gently on the floor and reach for the sponge making sure the sponge took up as much water as possible before reaching toward the grave, the name which was hidden after years of abandonment shine in the sun. He smiles as he dip the sponge in the water again. 

--

Cleaning the grave back to its former glory took about an hour, cleaning around the graves like pulling out the weed and disposing of old flowers took about half. By then Akira was covered with dust, dirt and sweat and in need of a good soak. But it was far from over, setting up the candle and incense shouldn’t have been a problem. He done it many times before, but it took a few broken one and a sip of water before he was satisfied with the white smoke in the air. Akira then reached for the flowers and carefully placed them in their placeholder. ‘Done’ he thought to himself. After seeing his parents prepare the family grave each summer he thought it would be easy but it was a lot more work than what he expected. It must be the heat.

He then took out the canned coffee already lukewarm from staying in the heat the whole time and placed it right under the engraved name. Akira then put his hands together, closed his eyes and talked. 

When he opened his eyes again it was already dark and his neck was burning from standing outside for too long. His voice was hoarse from talking too much but it was not like he talked much in the first place. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tie that was frayed and wrinkled with the lack of proper care.  

Akechi’s body was long gone. His ashes spread over a name he hated all his life. By spreading the last part of him to a place where he wanted to rest would make him happy, right? He pulled out a lighter and slowly moved it towards the tie.

Akechi loved his mother didn’t he? So Akira should do this one last favor and help guide him to her. But- his hand shake as the fire slowly touched the end of the tie. He quickly turned off the flame before it take more of the tie than it already had. 

He can’t

Akira bit the end of his lips internally scolding himself. This is not about him, this is about Akechi. He shouldn't be selfish . It was selflessness that saved the world before, the options he had before when he was allowed to be selfish would have ended up in ruins. Even now after defeating the false gods, the golden rule still applies. He should hurry up and burn it up already !

He drop the lighter on the floor and clutch the tie in his hands tightly. One day, one day he’s sure that this decision is going to bite him back. It might even haunt him for the rest of his life. But it was unfair, he was still a kid, he should be allowed to grieve the way he wants to. He stare sadly at the grave in front of him. Akechi is probably mocking him. A sentimental fool. He wouldn’t mind hearing him sneer one last time. 

Akira let out a wet chuckle and wiped his eyes erasing any evidence of tears that was forming in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to visit again soon.” He said as he stood up, making sure to grab the bucket and sponge, leaving no garbage behind as he walked back down the hill and back home. 

A03 Link : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24458830

[abbacchiosbelt]

what if dio (part 3) had a female concubine that he kept alive because he saw value in her, possibly for killing the SDC and for sex? But she wants to be in a serious relationship with him instead of sleeping with (and probably eating) everyone under the sun. Think of her as a crazy fangirl (forgot the anime trope name).

hmm, becauseof the nature of this ask, i kind of imagined both of them as yanderes? as such,i’ll be tagging this post with that, so be aware if you read below the cut! 

18+, but not explicit! cw for mentions of character death.

Dio had keptyou close to him throughout the past few months — each day he seemed to be moretroubled and took out his aggression with a sort of rough intimacy only youcould provide. When your Lord Dio asked you questions while he was poundinginto you, you always answered. When Lord Dio demanded to know how far yourloyalty went, you spared no time falling to your knees and groveling at hisfeet. And when he asked you to show him your true potential, you quietly satwhile you were pierced by some sort of strange arrow. You’d do anything foryour Lord Dio, and that included dying for him.

Much to hisdelight, you awaken a powerful Stand that will serve to be useful to him aslong as you stay by his side. So stay by his side you do, adorned in the finestjewels and made privy to his rants about the Joestars and his plans for thefuture. You feel special, being treated like this — there’s a gnawing hunger inyour stomach that tells you that you deserve to be the only one to touchyour Lord Dio.

You have tobide your time, though. You worship Lord Dio with reverence and kneel beneathhim nightly to help him work out his aggressions, all while carefully notinghis patterns: what he liked and disliked, how he always tucked his blonde hairbehind his ears when he was reading, the way his fingers curled around yourthroat… Oh, you were set to learn absolutely everything about your Lord, ifonly so that you could use it to show him just how dedicated you were.

There’s asmall opening when your Lord comes back with particularly good news — two ofthe men chasing after him had been disposed of, the other three gravelywounded. Dio is in higher spirits than you’ve ever seen him and there’s a sharpsmile on his face that looks genuine as he whisks you into his arms and pressesa hungry kiss to your mouth. That night you don’t part from Lord Dio’s beduntil the sun is rising and you’re sent to clean up while he slumbers to avoidthe sun’s harsh rays. The fact that he came to you to celebrate the good newshas your stomach alighting with butterflies. You’re gleeful as you take aluxurious bath with lavender salts and go about cleaning up the room andpreparing for his nightly routine.

When the sunsets, Dio is up at his usual time. Instead of leaving the bed, he’s perched onhis elbow and staring at you, lips free of their black paint and pouting. Well,your Lord had never been one to pout… so you hurry back to the bed andhe wastes no time grabbing your wrist in a tight squeeze and asking you whatyou’re hiding from him. You gasp and shudder when he squeezes harder and harderuntil you think the bone might break — and then you blurt out that you want himto belong to you.

There’s amoment where his eyes go wide with surprise before he narrows his gaze andsmiles, sharp eyeteeth digging into his plump and pale pink lips. (You’d nevertire of looking at him — he could have been a model, in another life.) Youthink for a second he may kill you and you’re happy to accept your fate, butinstead, he chuckles and asks you if that’s what you really want.

You knowwhat Lord Dio is and you know what he’s asking of you when you read between thelines, but you don’t hesitate in nodding. Oh, you want it more than anything inthe world and you’re sure that this will be the way to go about it — to becomethe same type of monster he was. It’s not a moment later that his lips comedown on your neck and you feel a searing pain as his fangs dig into the tenderskin. You scream and Dio moans into the bite, sucking harder until you feel aburning pain start to flow through your veins. (You’d thought perhaps he’d usethe Stone Mask you’d seen him use on Vanilla, but this is so intimate thatdespite all the pain your head is dizzy with excitement and lust.)

When youawaken, limbs feeling sluggish but your mind racing, you realize that your Lordis watching over you with another genuine smile on his face. You’d survived,and you were now even deeper into his inner circle. You’d been out for a week,apparently, and in that time the team had lost another man and Lord Dio canbarely wait to bed you to celebrate, tipping a glass of blood-red liquid intoyour mouth before he takes you.

It tasteslike the sweetest wine you’d ever been given the privilege to drink, but youknow by the iron smell lurking underneath that it’s blood. The stain of it onyour lips only spurns your Lord on until you’re sure the whole mansion can hearthe two of you.

The sleep,as your Lord has told you, is not the same as when you’re a human. Still, youfind comfort in closing your eyes and laying next to Dio to escape thedangerous sun. There’s a smile playing on your face when you think of howstrong you are — strong enough now to defeat anyone who even touches your Lord,and strong enough to hunt for him so he didn’t have to dirty his hands with otherpeople.

Yes, youwere quite sure Lord Dio was yours and yours alone now.

[goffilolo]

Conflict of Iyashi Shin

After a long time of waiting, I present you the much needed Shin-centered one shot. Also available on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19408303

Shin used to pride himself on his professionalism...for the most part. Some people (mainly Mrs. Todoroki) would say that it’s complete bullshit, except they would probable do away with the profanities. That is not to say he was ‘boring’; the brooding type of psychiatrist you see on the TV, who nods along whatever bullshit the patient of the week says and remains composed at all times, no that wasn’t him. The psych ward was already depressing enough without him having to fake an emotional depth of a puddle. Some would say that his approach was unorthodox at best, but...oh well, as long as it got the desired results it didn’t matter, not to him at least. Which, in hindsight wasn’t that good of an approach since it led to...Izuku.

Having Izuku as a patient was an experience. Whether it was a good one or a bad one he couldn’t tell. Something about that kid made him lose sight of his objectivism and everything else he stood for in regards to his profession. He knew very well what that ‘something’ was, except he wouldn’t dare to say it out loud; not when the filing cabinet next to his desk contained fake quirk registry documents, because he himself was too much of a coward, and now he was also a hypocrite, telling a damaged child that he can do better, be better.

Overall it could’ve been worse.

And here’s the issue.

It did get worse.

Just not in the way he originally anticipated. The doctor was currently faced with a new problem altogether; its name being Bakugou Katsuki.

Throughout the weeks of working with Izuku, he has developed somewhat of a strong, but distant hatred for that boy; the kind that you feel whenever you see a post about a celebrity you particularly dislike for something they’ve done despite never meeting them in person. That has obviously changed when he first ‘met’ Bakugou, which wasn’t so much of a meeting as it was staring at him in cold judgement as a roundabout way of being supportive to Izuku, while he proceeded to verbally destroy the blond in what became later known as ‘The Bakugou Shitshow’.

The second time he met Bakugou was during the group anger management session, which was surprising to say the least, because it used to be so easy to hate this imaginary concept of a person who you only got to hear the worst of from one of your patients. A bit like Endeavour, except not really, because he was dealing with a child who probably didn’t know any better. That didn’t stop Shin from feeling a certain level of bias when dealing with the blond, but it did make him feel a bit more ashamed for having that bias in the first place. When he went around asking each person in the group what made them decide to attend the session Bakugou replied with “My friend made me realise that I need to get my shit together” and it took everything in Shin’s power not to exclaim with a sarcastic “Since when do you have friends?”.

The third time he met Bakugou was...right now actually, in his office to be more precise. It felt wrong somehow, to have him as a patient, sitting in the same chair where Izuku sat before; crying his eyes out as he told the childhood tales that were long gone and forgotten. He very much did not want to have Bakugou as a patient, because despite his professionalism he knew he would have trouble keeping the sessions free of his own judgement.

Conflict of Interest, they call it.

“So Bakugou, before we start I will let you know that everything you say in this room is confidential, and while I won’t share any details of our conversations, I will need to write up a general summary of our sessions to go with your medical file, which will help me in conducting your evaluation. Is that alright with you?” he asked, the exact same way he asks all of his patients like broken record.

“Yes Doctor”

“No need to be so formal, I prefer to be on a first name basis with all of my patients so you can just call me Shin” he mentioned. “Can I call you Katsuki?” he added as an afterthought, hoping to appear more open and friendly, a striking contrast to their initial interaction.

“Sure, whatever” replied Katsuki.

The boy is really closed off, which is not unusual for first sessions, but given that he came here out of his own volition you’d think he’d be more willing to talk. That won’t do.

“Let’s start with something simple then” announced the doctor “Why did you decide to come here? Most people who seek out therapy do so with a specific goal in mind, so tell me Katsuki, what’s your goal?”

“My goal is to get you stop asking dumb questions! I’m not here for some hippie ‘life fulfillment’ bullshit” snapped the blond. This was not going to be easy.

“Well I still need something to work with, how else am I supposed to know what to do with you?” asked Shin, very much not in the mood for this.Not today Satan , as Izuku once said, not today.

“Deku probably already told you everything about me, so don’t act like you don’t know shit” replied Katsuki, and wasn’t that one of the most self centered things he heard in his career? The kid really overestimated his own importance in other people’s lives. Maybe it’s time to take him down a peg or two.

“Contrary to what you seem to believe, Izuku doesn't talk about you all that much. You’re not his whole world Katsuki” he says, and if he sounds ever so slightly spiteful then...no one can blame him really “And even if he did ‘tell me everything about you’ I still wouldn’t be able to do much with it due to patient confidentiality. This isn’t about Izuku, it’s about you , therefore I need to hear things from you” he emphasises with the most sarcastic tone he can gather at that particular moment, because Shin feels it’s very important when his patients know that he’s not impressed . Which seems to do the trick as the teen in question looks outright offended only for a few seconds before reverting back to quiet, angry humiliation he displayed before.

“I want to become better” says Katsuki, after a minute or so of putting his thoughts together “Deku had a fuckin point you know? I always wanted to be the strongest, become the best hero and all that shit. I wanted all that since I was a little kid, just like him.”

“And did that change over time?”

“No, I just...I think I forgot why I wanted all these things in the first place. I was so focused on being number one in everything that I just didn’t care about other things or other people, especially Deku.”

“Everyone wants to be number one at something. Striving for greatness is a human condition” says Shin, ever so carefully keeping his voice neutral because this session might’ve had less than ideal start, but he still needs to see through to making sure he does a good job “The problem arises when that desire overshadows everything else in a person’s life. So tell me, why do you think it’s so important to you to be best at everything?” he asks, mentally preparing himself for another textbook example of a ‘gifted child’.

“Cause I don’t want to get left behind” replies Katsuki, his voice full of pain and shame alike.

“Left behind in what way?”

“In life. Everything in life is like a race you know? It’s not fair and not everyone even gets to the finish line, but it’s still a race of who can get the best grades, who can get the best job, who can be the best at a whole bunch of things. And I knew - I thought that I would always come out on top, but then Deku just wouldn’t quit!” screamed the blond as he went off on a rant “He’s quirkless, he’s worthless, a coward, he can’t do anything right, but he just wouldn’t fuckin stop talking about his dream; my dream, as if it was something attainable to him and it just pissed me off so much!-”

“Why?” asks Shin, feeling the need to interrupt the boy’s progressively irritating rant, mostly for the sake of his own sanity “If we stick to your ‘race’ analogy, then by all means Izuku is anything but a threat to your victory. Besides, having dreams is not a crime, many people want to become heroes and it never leads to anything, so what makes Izuku so special? What makes him so worthy of your rage?”

Katsuki, for all he’s worth, did not answer.

***

His second session with Katsuki was simultaneously better and worse than the last one. Better; because the kid was actually willing to talk, worse; because Shin did not particularly like what was being said.

Izuku’s suicide attempt was a bit of a sore topic for the doctor. By all means it was not the first time he was dealing with a suicidal patient, but this one was just a bit more painful to talk about for obvious reasons. And so Shin didn’t really discuss it beyond the initial assessment of the resulting injuries with Izuku’s other doctor, nor did he really talk about it in detail with the boy himself. Which is probably why he was so unprepared for what was about to come.

“He still haunts me” says the blond rather suddenly, after spending the last 10 minutes talking about all the ways in which Izuku annoys him. For someone who seems to take pride in reminding the whole damn world  about Izuku’s lack of worth as a human being, Katsuki sure is fixated on him. Shin decided to actually be polite and not point that out to his patient, at least not yet. “That day after I said...you know,  the thing that I said and I burnt his notebook, I didn’t think much of it. And I just left, like I usually do with these two guys that always follow me round” he admitted, voice strangely quiet for someone so loud and the doctor had a feeling that there was more to it than what Izuku initially told him.

Nevertheless Katsuki continued “So I walk out of the building, past the pond with fish in it and I see something fall into it...it happened so fast and it was blurry and then I heard that cracking sound a-and-” he stammers, tears threatening to spill over along with the confession “-And I look down… and it was D-Deku! He hit his head against the edge of the pond and the blood was gushing out of the wound and mixing in with the water an-and one of his legs was bent the w-wrong way-”

“Katsuki, it’s ok, you don’t have to talk about it-”

“I THOUGHT I KILLED HIM!”

“Katsuki, calm down!”

“I told him to jump!” lamented the boy “I saw him lying in a pond filled with his own blood and you know what my first thought was? ‘oh shit I’m gonna get in trouble’ because even then I was only thinking about myself, so I took his notebook out of the pond and was planning on just running away. And then - and then it got worse, because Deku was still conscious and he was looking at me, completely out of it. I don’t think he even remembers it, but he - he said...”

Shin did not want to listen to any of this, he wanted to flee his office and never look back. He felt a contradicting mixture of sympathy and anger, because as much as it was his job to help Katsuki he couldn’t stop himself from feeling vicious and bitter, because how dare he? How dare he cause so much trouble and suffering for Izuku and then act like a victim?

“ Kacchan, why did you want me to die so badly? ” he cried, almost hysterically in a poor imitation of Izuku’s voice, and just for a moment Shin thought he might cry too.

***

“He’s arrogant” exclaims Katsuki.

“What?” asks Shin, ever so slightly baffled by the sudden statement.

“Deku! He’s arrogant, always looking down on me” replied the blond, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“ If he’s arrogant what does that make you? ” he doesn’t ask, even though it’s really tempting.

It was their third session, which was honestly more than Shin expected he’s be able to go through with. It was emotionally draining to say the least, yet the doctor was not willing to admit defeat. It also helped that Izuku got recently discharged, because after last week’s session Shin wasn’t sure what he would do if he were to see the boy during his regular rotation right after spending an hour listening to the blond.

“What brought this on?” he asked instead.

“You asked me before why I was so mad at Deku all the time”

“Ah”

At this point Shin was mentally preparing himself for an oncoming wave of bullshit and paperwork, wondering if it’s not too late to transfer Katski to one of his colleagues. Alas, he still had a session to run and so he went back to asking his questions.

“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific than that. What is it about his behaviour that you find ‘arrogant’?”

“He always goes around acting like he can do shit if he ‘just works hard enough’. Do you know how insulting it is for me to stand next to that useless dipshit who can’t do anything and yet acts like he can be my equal? Like back when we were kids he’s always stand up for other kids even though he didn’t have a quirk to defend himself with, and that one time we were playing in the forest and I fell into the river and he just went in after me and tried to help me get out? Who the fuck does he think he is?!” ranted Katsuki.

Now, there were a lot of things to unpack here, but Shin thought that it might be easier to just throw away the whole suitcase instead. The longer he talked to the blond (which in reality wasn’t that long, but time flies slow when you’re stuck with that kid) the more convinced he was that majority of his problems with Izuku were due to Katsuki projecting his own insecurities onto the other. He wasn’t about to say that though, because he knew that the words ‘projecting’ and ‘insecurities’ would result in a Bakugou-level shitfit; truly worthy of his quirk by the way.

“That…” announced the doctor, drawing out the silence for as long as he could in order to mentally prepare himself and his brain cells for what was about to come “Is probably the dumbest thing that has ever been said in this office.”

“THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”

“It means that you’re full of shit !” replied Shin, his voice undertaking the tone similar to that of his last outburst. The doctor certainly wasn’t proud of that moment, but when all else failed putting aside his professionalism seems to do the trick “Look at you, getting mad because someone offered to HELP you? God forbid! How do you think this world works? Helping each other is just something that people do !”

At this point he just stood up and started pacing around the room, unable to contain his rage

“Actually, you know what, scratch that! Helping each other is something that nice people do, you know? People like Izuku” shouts the doctor, not missing the way Katsuki flinched at being reprimanded in such manner “People like him who wouldn’t even think twice about going out of their way to help another person in need, even if said person always treats them poorly and berates them; even if that person is YOU!”

Well this is it , he thought rather grimly This time I’m losing my medical licence for real.

Which was soon followed by If I’m going down then I might as way go all the way.

“And another thing-”

***

“How’s the anger management going?” asks Shin, somewhat absentmindedly in the middle of writing down some notes from today’s session. Now that he’s Katsuki’s primary therapist, the boy’s anger management sessions are handled by someone else.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” snapped the blond, although there was no heat in it, not anymore. Over the time Shin learnt that the boy’s aggressive nature wasn’t to be taken seriously, since that’s just the way he spoke and based off the few meetings he had with the Bakugous Shin was more than certain that it was mostly a matter of upbringing.

“I sure would” replied the doctor, his voice making it very clear that he did not actually give a shit, because every now and then Katsuki still needed to be put in his place, otherwise he would try to overthrow the hospital or something…actually no, that’s more Izuku’s style.

Izuku and Katsuki , those two are driving him equally nuts in all the opposite ways. He can’t wait for the day when those two will sort their shit out, and possibly leave him alone.

“How’s Deku?” asks Katsuki, rather shyly.

Which is why Shin couldn’t miss the opportunity to reply “Wouldn’t you like to know?” with a shit eating grin.

***

“How can I be a good hero?”

“Katsuki, for the last time, I’m a phyciatrist, not a life coach”

He’s lost count of how many sessions they had at this point. The conflict of interest still stands, but it’s no longer riddled with hatred on Shin’s part.

And maybe, just maybe he’s grown a bit fond of the explosive blond. But that doesn’t mean the fondness is gonna stop him from pointing out that Katsuki can’t blame all of his life problems on Izuku’s mere existence.

“How can I be more like Deku then?”

Neither is it going to stop him from occasionally teasing the kid.

“Have you perhaps thought about illegally obtaining a sheep?”

[lonelypond]

Moonlight Becomes You: Apocalypse Midnight Dance Party, Ch. 7

Love Live, Love Live Sunshine, YohaMaru, NozoEli, NicoMaki, KanaMari, 3.7K, 7/?

Summary: We get a reunion and You finds herself very unpopular with at least two generations of Nishikino women.

You vs. The Nishikinos

You’s phone exploded in her pocket. Nishikino glared, which was nothing new. They had been in the ER for all of ten minutes waiting for the okay to talk to someone while Dia was being examined and You felt as scorched as a probe crashing into the sun from the intensity of the redhead’s dislike. It was Kanan’s bubble tone so You had to look.

K: DON’T LET MAKI TALK TO THAT WOMAN. yoshiko pulled her out of time and dumped her in the pool and she’s Maki’s DAUGHTER.

“Christ. For real?” You muttered, then raised a challenging eyebrow at Maki’s scrutiny. Eye roll and shrug and adjusting the drying t-shirt was the only response You got. They both should have changed into drier clothes, but no, emergencies never let you do neat things like that. And Yoshiko was always an emergency.

Y: What am I supposed to do?

K; <(*- -*)> just keep Maki away; Yoshiko’s on her way.

Y: You know I hate pulling rank.

K: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Y: All right. Yoshiko better hurry.

“Maki? You?” A familiar voice startled You, who whirled to meet the curious stare of her go to contact in the medical world, Dr. Nishikino....Nishikino...ugh…

“Hi, Doc.” You waved, feeling even more incredibly underdressed, especially compared to the silky, black and white feathery patterned dress Dr. Nishikino had under her lab coat.

“I couldn’t believe it when the Admissions clerk paged me that you both were here.” Dr. Nishikino hugged the redhead, who shuffled awkwardly in her grasp, “It’s good to see you, Maki. Is something wrong?”

“No, Momma, I’m okay,” Maki shrugged off the hug, “We rescued a woman from the pool at the Ohara OceanView and she might have hit her head. Her ID’s some weird holographic thing from Japan so I thought I could translate…”

Maki’s mom crossed her arms, thinking for a minute, then turned to You, frowning, “Is she in protective custody?”

“You’re a cop?” Maki’s disbelief echoed in the hall.

You made huge, urgent shushing gestures with both her arms, “Undercover. Did you forget, Dr. Nishikino?”

“Sorry. I’m sure Maki understands confidentiality. Is this woman one of the…”

“One of the what?” Maki interjected quickly.

You coughed, “I’d rather not say.”

Maki threw a hand up and kicked the wall behind her, “What is this, another...cryptid? How many are there in LA?”

“How did you…” You and Dr. Nishikino both interjected, instinctively stepped forward, crowding Maki, whose scrunched up expression seemed about to explode as a rant.

The non redheads exchanged a worried glance, then the doctor spoke, her hand on her daughter’s shoulder, “Maki, maybe we should go in my office and talk privately.”

Maki turned, sullen, arms crossed, one finger twisting in her hair, wanting to be anywhere but here. With Nico. But that wasn’t happening. Instead, she was here with her mother and this short, infuriatingly cheerful COP, waiting for permission to talk to some mysterious Japanese traveller. And Nico was with Eli.

You did some impressively fast mental relationship math, mother, grandmother, probably both time travel no gos. “I think it’s best if neither of you talk to her. I’m waiting for my colleague to arrive. Ms. Tsushima should have more information.” You looked pleadingly at Dr. Nishikino, her most polished really I wish I could help but half smile quirked in place.

A sigh and then agreement, “We can wait in my office until she gets here. And you can help me answer Maki’s questions.”

As You caught the flare of contempt in Maki’s amethyst eyes, she found herself wondering how much worse the day could get, and how complicated the questions would be. But there would be coffee and if there were coffee, You could keep treading water.

###

Eli stepped out of the room, leaving Nico to F U S S over the choices from the Ohara On The Beach boutique. All with corporate branding, of course, which just really ticked off Nico. Eli was pretty sure if Nico found a Sharpie somewhere, Ohara would get X’ed out of existence, at least everywhere it touched Yazawa skin. So Nico was in major bitch mode, and although the phrases blonde and rich and pushy and touchy and heiress were all strung together, Eli thought she was probably the blonde at the root of Nico’s frustration. As upended and confusing as Eli’s life was right now, without Nico’s willingness to be there, things would be much much worse. Eli had to find a way to let Nico how much that meant to her. More urgently, Eli had to find a way to get these seemingly random transformations under control. Then they could both have their lives back and Nico could spend time with her feral dj. Eli felt the corner of her lip twist up a bit in a dry snarl. She was feeling so much more territorial. With a shake, she closed the door behind her, and Nico’s rapid fire complaining quieted.

“The little one isn’t a fan.” Mari giggled.

Eli shrugged. She didn’t want to get caught in a discussion of Nico.

“Maybe your fortunes will change. My Tarot reader’s going to arrive any minute. She’s buono come il pane, never wrong, a true uranaishi.”

Tarot reader. That would be too small a world but before Eli could ask, the door opened, a high, amused voice lilted into the room.

“Your staff is whispering everywhere. Is there a celebrity in the house? Do they need a Tarot reading?” Eli recognized the giggle, “I could use a little celebrity magic.” Nozomi was wearing a blue green swing dress, light fabric, green shawl around her shoulders. Her eyes widened, “Eli?”

“You know each other?” Mari pounced from the couch, inserting herself in the middle of the conversation that was about to happen, “My staff never gossips about celebrities. We had a water rescue.”

“Is every one all right?” Nozomi’s concerned tone was so soft, so gentle Eli wanted to wrap it around herself like a blanket.

“Nico said they had to take the woman to the hospital, maybe a head injury.” Eli answered.

Nozomi frowned, “I hope she’ll be all right. Were you there, Eli? Is Nico here? Is this a party?”

“I’m ALWAYS a party, you know that, darling.” Mari dragged Eli and Nozomi to the table, “Read for the dancer, my friend, she needs a change of luck.”

Nozomi was staring and Eli couldn’t look away, the colors in Nozomi’s turquoise eyes were sea glass sliding mesmerizingly through the gentle rolls of a tidal pool.

And then Nico brayed as she charged back into the room, “Come on, Eli, let’s go someplace and find real food, Nico’s tired of fancy.”

Nico was in a ridiculously oversized white and blue Ohara On The Beach hoodie and the shortest of glittery short shorts.

“No, no, we’re all having our cards read.” Mari gestured for Nico to join them.

Nico’s eyes flitted suspiciously to Nozomi, her mouth narrowing, her tone accusatory. “You.”

“Hello again. Where’s your redheaded friend?” Nozomi was pulling a deck out of her bag, moving slowly as she tried to get a read on the room. So much tension. And why were Eli and Nico even here? Unless...Nozomi spun, hand touching Eli’s forearm, the blonde tensing, “You’re Kanan’s dancer.” Eli frowned and Nozomi reconsidered her words, “Kanan’s been saying how grateful she is to her” and Nozomi made sure to emphasize the next word, “collaborator who is so experienced in both ballet and Japanese culture.”

“Eli’s the best. Kanan’s lucky she’s available. Let’s get going.” Nico grabbed Eli’s other arm, ready to drag her out of this room. “Nico has to go shopping for dinner and we have to get home before moonrise.”

The room went silent.

Eli refused to move, Nico couldn’t budge her. Then suddenly, Eli’s arm was free and Nico’s nose was right off the tip of her own and Eli was being subjected to a level of suspicious scrutiny worthy of a cop who’d found an open container of alcohol in the car. Nico blew hot angry air in Eli’s face, causing mad blinking, and bit off a prediction, “It’s your funeral.” Nico pivoted, “Nice to see you again, Nozomi, not particularly nice to see you, Ohara, but Nico thanks you for the clothes.”

Mari giggled, “You, Bella, are a treasure.”

Nico gestured in a profoundly unfriendly fashion at Mari, hissed “be smart” at Eli, and marched toward the door.

Mari stretched her hands out and grinned at the two women left, “Now we can really have some fun.”

###

Maki’s phone went off as her mother was closing the door to the office. It was the tone she’d set for Nico, BoA’s ‘No Limit.’

N: Eli’s being really S T U P I D and Ohara got me these awful clothes but Nico’s bounced out of that loser scene and is on her way to see what we fished out of the pool.

“No” Maki exclaimed and then felt her mother right at her side.

“What’s wrong, Maki?”

Maki knowing she was bright red and for her mother that would be too much of a clue, shook her head, and ducked back out of the room before anyone could make eye contact with her. What could she say? Her mother would be far too interested in Nico...and You was still here...and...closing her eyes, trying to slow her panic into words, Maki composed a text in her head, then typed and sent before she could read it through.

M: Hey, Nico. The doctors have everything under control. You really don’t have to rush over here. It probably won’t be much longer.

There was a pause, no response, triggering Maki to frantically review what Nico had sent.

M: I’m sure the clothes look cute. No one will pay any attention to whatever’s wrong with them. I have to go. Dinner still okay?

N: -`д´-

M: (・・)

M: I really have to go. Sorry.

Maki stared at her phone for another minute but no response. She pocketed it and opened the door to face a familiar interrogation. Her mother was laughing at something You said, but her attention switched to her daughter instantly.

Dr. Nishikino leaned back in her chair, eyebrows up, an in no way innocent smile on her face as she asked. “Was that Rin? Aren’t you back in town early?”

You began to say something but at Maki’s glare clamped her mouth shut.

“No, Mama, it was a friend.”

“Oh, Nico? You was telling me how the three of you pulled our mystery Dia out of the pool.”

Dia was a nice name, Maki thought. How had she ended up in the pool and when was this other person going to show up? Maki slid into a chair, still glaring at You. A cop? What the hell was going on.

“Maki?”

Maki frowned at her mother, “What?”

“Was that Nico?”

Maki nodded. Maybe her mother would pick up on her mood and stop asking questions.

A buzzer went off, Maki’s mother picked up her phone, “Dr. Nishikino here...uh huh...thanks...we’ll be right there...has Kurosawa Dia been examined yet...waiting for a CAT scan...okay... put Tsushima in an open room and we’ll be right there.”

Maki stayed seated, her brain still sliding puzzle pieces into place, “No one’s explained anything.”

Her mother and You had risen and were heading for the door, her mother turned back, “What did you say, Maki?”

“You haven’t explained anything. Either of you. About the...cop” Maki pointed accusingly at You, “...or why you know each other...or why you don’t want me to talk to…”

“There’s nothing to explain.” You squared her shoulders. This was the moment to seize back control of the situation. To get everyone else OUT of the picture. Even if she was wearing her oldest, rattiest shorts. “Let’s call it protective custody. I have everything under control. You can just leave it to me.” Cue cheerful, competent smile.

You’s strategy failed. Her smile fizzled to a look of confusion as the still suspicious Maki stood, looming over her, “I don’t think so. Let’s go see this friend of yours together, right, Mama?”

Nishikinos always supported each other. Maki’s mother slid her arm through her daughter’s, unleashed her most professionally, unarguable flirty-charming smile at You, and led the way out the door, “Of course, dear.”

You followed with a groan.

###

Nico wasn’t going to kick her car. It was a good car. But she was going to sit inside it for a few minutes, ignoring everyone around her, while she stared at the phone she’d thrown in the passenger seat. Everyone was in a mood: Nico, Eli, and now Maki, who should be thrilled that Nico had free time and was going to use it to rush to her side and be helpful. But no, right now...Nico paused in her contemplation to yell, “SHUT YOUR HORN” at the driver urging her to pull out of her parking spot. Why was Maki so concerned about that swimmer anyway? Nico sighed, flipped off the person behind her, and considered. If it had just been her, Nico would have gone to the hospital. And Maki had been expecting them to go together. But Eli...Eli who had totally ignored Nico’s sacrifice when that overly bouncy Tarot reader swaggered in. Of course Ohara was friends with another...Nico groaned. Enough. This wasn’t about the people Nico had left behind. Eli could make her own choices, it was probably good for her. But Nico had to make her own choices as well: to go home and wait for Maki or to head to the hospital like she should have when the ambulance pulled out.

###

Yoshiko groaned inside her head. There it echoed, a counterpoint to the breathy giggles of Hanamaru in her ear as they travelled down the hospital corridor, Hanamaru bouncing on her back, heels digging into the curves of Yoshiko’s thighs.

“Zuramaru, we could just hold hands and you’d still be invisible.”

“Nope.” Yoshiko felt Hanamaru’s hair tickle her feathers as her wife and chief tormentor leaned forward to kiss behind her ear.

“Stop.” Yoshiko hissed as the shivers took over. More giggles. “This is serious.” Yoshiko winced as her voice squeaked. She stopped and released Hanamaru’s legs, the shorter woman sliding to the ground.

Hanamaru’s amber eyes were unusually serious. “I know. Yohane pulled this poor woman out of time and you didn’t even stop to explain…”

“I couldn’t, Zuramaru, I was about to set us down to talk when she yanked and then she was in the pool and then EVERYONE was in the pool and…”

“You could have talked to her BEFORE you flew her through Time, Yoshiko.” Hanamaru had never let Yoshiko squirrel out of anything.

“She wasn’t going to listen.” Yoshiko was getting all worked up, her arms flying out, her wings quivering. Hanamaru knew this corridor was too tight a space for a displaced celestial being trying to avoid hospital staffers in a state of high frustration so she pulled the angel into an empty room.

“You still need to ask before you pull people out of the timeline.” Hanamaru chided the impulsive beauty she’d first raced from the skies centuries ago. So often it seemed like only yesterday. “Consent.”

Yoshiko was pacing, dark wings fluttering, words flowing out at a rapid muttering, a shadow falling over the room as Yohane’s glory backlit Yoshiko’s lost purple eyes, “Yohane speaks and all must tremble.”

“Bull.” Hanamaru snapped off a verbal slap. Then she softened, “I know you’re scared, Yoshiko, but that poor woman…”

“Dia.”

“Dia, is 10,000 times as distressed as you might be. And from what Kanan said, might have a head injury. So we need to help her.” Hanamaru always sounded so reasonable when demanding impossible things, Yoshiko realized. For the 27,560th time.

Yoshiko paused, hands claws on the windowsill, mind full of what she’s seen and summoned when she’d used the scrying bowl to test Riko’s prophecy. The images of destruction and fire and chaos had been so strong the water had nearly boiled.

Hanamaru’s warm, gentle hand covered hers, calming the trembling, “That’s not our future, Yoshiko.”

“No.” Yoshiko hung her head for a moment and then with the full glory of a young filly kicking up onto her hind legs, mane flying, Yoshiko stood tall, her voice a resonant flood, “We will find our loyal ally, You, and then this newest demon will be comforted and…” Yohane paused and Yoshiko winked at Hanamaru, “ASKED to take on this glorious quest.”

Hanamaru nodded, assenting to this plan.

“But no more piggybacks.” Yohane announced.

“Aw…”

And Yoshiko was out the door before Hanamaru had a chance to charm.

###

Dia was alone when she woke up, and this hospital was not her family’s.  Such antiquated equipment. No sensor on her wrist, no holoscreen to track her vitals, no dedicated AidVox to summon a nurse. The tubing on the IV was thicker than she was used to and the fabric of her hospital gown coarse. At least the IV was on a rolling stand so she could move without ripping it out of her arm. As woozy as she felt, she probably needed the fluids. And where were her mothers? There was no way that both of them weren’t somewhere lecturing whoever had put her in this relic of a room and arranging for transportation to a more modern facility. She missed them suddenly. Had LA changed this much since her last visit? Dia rose out of the bed, leaning slightly on the pole, and shuffling to the window. So many more cars, and carbon criminal cars at that...was she on a movie set? Had Ruby decided to start playing jokes on her? Maybe it was the twins? They were still sulking that Dia and Tora had won the annual family beach volleyball tournament. Dia smiled at the memory; Vik sitting back in the sand, shock dropping her mouth open, as Dia’s spike skimmed between her reach and Teddy’s. They hadn’t pulled a serious prank in years, maybe they got Leah to help them? Or Sarah?

“Hi.” A soft voice came from behind Dia.

Nervous, Dia stiffened her shoulders and frowned, her voice a rebuke of the interloper’s rudeness. “Don’t people in Los Angeles knock.”

“Sorry.” There was a cough and the door closed, then Dia heard a quick, solid knock.

She almost laughed as she turned, “Come in.”

The short, fair haired woman, tanned, toned legs a bit too showcased in the shorts that should have been recycled several laundry cycles ago, stepped into the room again, her bright blue eyes merry to match the lopsided grin lighting up the room, “I’m Lieutenant Commander You Watanabe, Coast Guard Liasion to the LAPD and we have to talk fast.”

Prank was seeming more and more reasonable a guess, “Is that the new Coast Guard uniform?”

A pink blush dusted Watanabe’s cheeks and she ducked her head, “Sorry.” Then there was the bright merry blue again, “You dropped in without much warning.”

Dia’s fingers were itching. She wanted to grab a pillow or the IV stand and pound some answers out of this latest intruder in the orderly progress of her life. And then she froze as she heard two familiar voices moving closer outside in the hall.

“Of course the clothes look good, the clothes are on Nico. Nico makes everything look good.”

“Sure, sure, but I don’t have time for this. Where did she get to?”

“Who?”

“You.”

“Maki should be paying attention to Nico.”

A sigh, “Your clothes are fine. I’m sorry Mari turned you into a walking billboard…”

“Nico is taking this off right now.”

“You shouldn’t have taken the clothes anyway, Mari will use that as leverage now.”

“Leverage?”

“She’s been trying to get me to..it doesn’t matter...hey, stop that.”

“Maki thinks Nico should have refused the clothes and kept looking like debris washed up against the pier.’

“Don’t…leave that on...this is a hospital...” a scuffle, seemingly outside the door, some coughing. “Wait, does that mean you think I look like…”

Dia rushed the door, “Momma, Mama…”

She was stopped by You, who had an arm out, “Ms. Kurosawa, you can’t go out there. I need to explain a few things first.”

Dia drew herself up to her full height and glared, “Bzzztttt. How dare you. Am I under arrest? Drop your arm. Now.”

You stepped back, both hands up in the air, but still blocking the door. “You have to listen to me, this is a very difficult, dangerous situation, and your mothers don’t know who you are.”

Dia’s voice was a screech. “How do you know all this? How does this even happen?!?”

You closed her eyes. At least Dia had stopped moving toward the door. And You had felt the tingle of magic that meant Yoshiko had paused the universe outside this room. So she had a minute. “My friend pulled you out of Time. Your mothers haven’t started dating yet.” You ran a hand through her hair, “I know this sounds like the craziest thing you’ve ever heard, but please give Yoshiko a chance to explain.”

“Yoshiko?” Dia's mouth was open in a shout, her eyes angry.

The door open, and Yohane swept through, fully winged and incandescent.

Kurosawa Dia, rather than being cowed in the face of celestial glory, clenched her fists and strode forward, “You kidnapper...”

“Stay back mortal, lest Yohane’s power will…”

Dia’s punch crunched squarely into Yoshiko’s jaw.

[wellthatwasaletdown]

A Rant That Nobody Asked For

I read a comment on here the other day that said that Harry Styles career can’t die unless he does something outrageously heinous or controversial, and unless he’s publicly hated more than he’s liked, I actually disagree with that. I don’t know why it bothered me enough to write this whole thing but here we go.

The entire Kardashian brand is built on feeding off of public outrage. People seem to not understand that they want you to hate them. They know that a large portion of their audience dislike them, but follow and pay attention, just to see what thing they do next that they can hate on. Brands are doing that as well. Where they are intentionally putting out overtly racist clothing, slogans, advertising, obviously offensive products, because really and truly, consumers want to be apart of the outrage, consumers enjoy dragging shit. A European makeup brand made a lipstick color called the n-word, and after the outrage on twitter, the lipstick sold out in less then ten hours. I think there are people who think that they’re being helpful or effective by hating the Kardashians, but in actuality by hating them you’re feeding into their machine, you’re putting money in their pockets.

So people always tweet things like  how is James Charles still getting millions of views despite his gross behaviour, how is Camilla Cabello still able to headline tours after calling Normani the n-word repeatedly, how is Kodak Black still making music even though there’s several rape accusations against him? The last one I’d argue is because the volume on rape allegations drops significantly when the accusation comes from black women, and we don’t listen to them or give black women’s voices the validity we should. But overall the reason these people still have careers is BECAUSE some people hate them. (I don't think Camilla is publicly hated but hear me out) That’s what they want. By calling out people who fuel they’re careers off of outrage, you’re fighting a fruitless battle because you’re appealing to the sympathy of people who actually don’t give a fuck. They know what they’re doing, they don’t care who’s hurt, they don’t care the real world affect of their words, they don’t care about learning or growing from their actions, but they bank on the fact that you care about those things and will take time out of your day to try and break it down for them. They exist to antagonize their audience and then get the label “controversial”. I’m 100% positive that Kylie Jenner knew that people were going to mad about Kylie Skin, but she let them be mad, she let them hate on her loudly, she let that hate act as free promo, and then her skincare line sold out. If Kim Kardashian put her hair in braids, and no one said anything but instead she lost a shit ton of followers, if all the people who disagreed with that unfollowed her, she would’ve never done that shit again. But because the outrage actually gained her followers and traction, she continues to do it. Everyone knows what cultural appropriation is. Everybody does. Maybe not everyone understands why it can be so damaging but everyone knows what it is. So famous women right now who are posting pictures of themselves in cornrows or bindis or in Native headdresses, they know better. They know people are going to be mad, they know people are going to be hurt, they know this. But they profit off of it. They are dependant on your outrage, for a surge in media attention. I’m not saying that these girls are heinous human beings, but I’m saying it’s 100% intentional. It’s intentional. You’re wasting your energy in the comments trying to educate them, trying to get them to see why people are upset, they don’t care. They don’t care why you’re upset, they just want you angry, and then once you’re angry they’ll flip it on you and play the victim and talk about how intense and evil social media has been to them. These girls posting incredibly photoshopped pictures of themselves, and pictures with their ribs jutting out from their bodies, not disclosing all of the surgery they’ve had to impressionable young girls, they are literally profiting off of their viewers insecurity.  It’s business. It’s a game. 

(This is a side note but with all of the PR relationships Harry’s been in, really and truly him having a girlfriend might have a really negative impact on the girls linked to him, but they have positive affects for Harry. Because when he has a girlfriend, his fans feel insecure, they compare themselves to this model girlfriend, they wonder if this is the kind of woman he wants and I don’t look like that, what’s wrong with me? They hurt, they get uncomfortable, and often respond with intense hate, but really that hate comes from a place of insecurity and pain. But see, when they’re hurting, he can turn around and ask you to pay him to tell him that he loves you.)

This is getting longwinded but what I’m getting to is that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it never has been, the opposite of love is INDIFFERENCE. Being publicly hated doesn’t always end careers, in fact public outrage can be manufactured to gain traction and attention for a person or brand. The only answer to truly get rid of those kind of people is to respond with silence and indifference and the removal of your attention. This is why I think that honestly, Harry has every possibility of his career dwindling away. I don’t know that he’ll ever be “unsuccessful” because he has his core audience but I think we’re seeing more and more that we live in a world where everyone is really ready to jump on a hatred bandwagon, that the careers that really die, are not the people who you’re angry at. The careers that die are the people that you are entirely indifferent to.

It’s been proven that Harry Styles is incredibly sensitive to the point where he and his fans cannot even stand constructive criticism. It is greatly important to him to be publicly upheld and adored, and I think that that proved itself with the TV show he produced that was based on him, because he couldn’t even allow the character that was meant to vaguely represent him to be a fully fleshed out character with flaws and negative attributes, instead the character ended up being a lot like what Harry presents to the world, a caricature of a great guy. Harry presents an image that is meant to be interpreted and digested in whatever way you like. If you want him to be a feminist he is, if you don’t want him to be he’s not, if you want him to be a bad boy? Gay? Straight? A sweetheart? A rich sugar daddy aesthetic? A true artist who only cares about the music? He’s a walking fan fiction on purpose, because it is of such high importance to him to be adored and to be accepted that he presents nothing, and allows his fans to do all the work in implanting their own vision on him, and then his fans sustain his fame for him out of personal obligation and emotional ties they have to the idea of him they created, right?

Harry isn’t designed to be someone that can be hated, he intentionally straddles every topic, and stays right in the middle and never says anything controversial, to the point where he really doesn’t share any actual opinions. He spews apolitical sweetness and kindness, and creates a pseudo-political activism aesthetic without actually giving opinions, because he doesn’t have to, he’s dependant on the fact that his fans will project their opinions onto him, and assume he’s on whichever side they’re on. He’s not sustaining a career based off of the music, because the people who listen to his music, listen to him as a byproduct of already loving him. The people who pay attention to his content, do so out of love for who they believe he is as a person. Harry Styles is really not a celebrity who has many casual fans. I think in terms of his looks, he does, casual fans who will comment on his look at the Met Gala, or comment on him being good-looking, but not many casual fans who would sit down and listen to an album of his, you know?

The emptiness fans are feeling now comes from the fact that Harry used to pander to maintaining his audience at an emotional level, and insinuate a relationship between he and his audience, that he no longer cares to feed, and all the Harries, whether they admit or not, are feeling the distance and feeling his withdrawal. I bring this up because, now we're seeing even some Harries are growing not hateful, not resentful, but indifferent towards him. They are getting exhausted of having to maintain their ideal of him, and having to fight themselves into liking something that's really not there. As someone who's still kind of in the Harry Styles bubble, I can't argue this 100% but I do feel that there is a level of indifference towards him from the general public.

(Another side note: One similarity between Harry and the Kardashians is what I call convenient stupidity. They claim smarts and being smart business people, Harry specifically is obsessed with putting out an aesthetic of intellect, but when it’s convenient for them, they want you to assume that they are stupid and/or not responsible for whatever your upset about and/or that they don’t understand what they’ve done. If you think they’re stupid you’ll underestimate them and you’ll never assume that you’re the one being played. By keeping you thinking that you’re mentally above them, they manipulate you, every time.)

Harry couldn’t even commit to the rock music aesthetic fully, because rock music, real rock music, has to come with commitment and controversy, and he’s so obsessed with being adored across the board. I highly doubt he’ll ever get involved in real controversy or that he’d use controversy as a marketing ploy, just because we’ve seen time and time again that he’s prioritized public adoration over the actual quality of his work. But like I said, as he pulls away, the manufactured love between him and his fans is getting harder for them to hold on to, it’s getting hard for them to rearrange information to make him the guy he was to them. I’m telling you, what’s going to kill Harry is not intense hatred, but indifference. As he tries to gear himself to an older audience, he's not going to be able to manufacture the same blind adoration that 1D fans were able to give him in the beginning. We're already beginning to see indifference towards him grow.

[fiftyshadesofsleigh]

All Things Valentine (2016)

WARNING - More of a rant than a review

Starring: Sarah Rafferty (Suits) as Newspaper Columnist Avery and Sam Page (Joan’s horrible husband on Mad Men) as Brendan.

Street Cred: 6/10. Page has a ton of these under his belt and Rafferty was on the Tremors TV Series so she gets free credit from me.

Official Synopsis: A blogger who has had terrible luck on Valentine's days meets a handsome veterinarian. Then she finds out he is the one who has been leaving rude comments on her Valentines day articles and she questions if her luck has changed at all.

What Really Happens: This one is more of a rant than a review and I have seven pages of notes for this movie, so please bear with me.

Avery isn’t a blogger, she writes an advice column (Coach’s Corner) for the major newspaper in town and can somehow afford to feed herself. The movie starts with Avery in full Valentine’s Day mode, practically skipping down the road with balloons in tow, on the way to surprise her beau. But the joke’s on her because she sees him kissing another woman and then has to run/speed walk away without him noticing.

It’s not a big surprise then, when we learn that Avery is anti-romance and anti-Valentines when the next year rolls around. I mean, she wears a black coat now instead of a red one so it’s clear she’s dead inside. Which is why she encourages one of her readers to dump her boyfriend when the reader feels he doesn’t respect her expectations for Valentine’s Day. The reader in question turns out to be McKenna, the co-owner of a bakery/cafe, who is dating one of the veterinarians from the clinic across the street, Brendan. I promise his is important later on.

Brendan isn’t as heartless as McKenna thinks he is, he’s just not willing to lie to her with some big romantic gesture when he’s not sure how he feels about her. Sounds reasonable, right? Not to McKenna. The part is played by Kimberley Sustad, who I love, and it annoys the crap out of me how pathetic her character is. And why is she always the sidekick? She’s awesome and has proven she can carry a movie (Nine Lives of Christmas with Brandon Routh).

Anyway, back to Avery. Her editor gifts her with “an opportunity” to write a special series for Valentine’s Day called, you guessed it, All Things Valentine! A new story of cliched ideas every week in the lead up to the big day for a campaign that is never explained. Avery protests because who wants to get paid for writing(?) and proceeds to unpack her long history of bad Valentines. Her editor pats her on the head, tells her that’s charming, and ignores all other protests. Avery then enlists her family to come up with ideas to write about because her heart is a shrivelled husk.

Just want to mention that even Avery’s 5-year-old nephew has a romantic interest in this movie. That’s what they resorted to to sell this story.

Back to Brendan (recently dumped by McKenna for reasons he finds insane) and his plan to makes sure ‘Coach’ knows of his ire by trolling them on the internet. Because that’s what nice guys do and Brendan is a NICE GUY. After his initial tirade he gets to harass Avery again when she writes her first article about VD. Yes, that’s the acronym I’m going with. Meanwhile, Brendan’s BFF and partner is Kit, who has quietly and nervously fallen for McKenna’s work partner, Pru. Again, this is sort of important because I will complain about it later.

Now, McKenna can’t help but ask Kit about Brendan every time he comes in to sigh wistfully in Pru’s direction, and she tells him she “has a plan” for her life. Married by 30, three kids, and a career. First, three kids is too many. I think this every time we take one of our kid’s friends with us somewhere. You will not change my mind on this. Second, ugh.

But there’s good news! Avery’s editor LOVES that she’s being trolled by this assface! So much so that she wants it continue because readership is up and who the fuck cares about writers being harassed online? Everyone but Avery thinks this turn of events is awesome.

I will skip forward here because this movie is way too long to after Avery has met Brendan in person (over her sick pupper), they’ve bonded and sort-of-kind-of started dating/created the anti-Valentine’s Club. The movie gets points for the whole “They don’t know it’s them!” trope, but they lose 1000 for the absolutely horrific things Avery’s father says to her under the guise of advice. They are as follows:

Real men don’t save Valentine’s (he uses this as an excuse for not telling anyone he does, in fact, save the cards he’s been given)

Not all Guys (Yes, seriously)

You can’t write off a whole gender (I was muttering at my tv by now because these are all part of the same conversation)

He also completely dismisses the hurt Avery has experienced in her life because women are supposed to love VD and why can’t she just forget all that other stuff and be like other women?

Avery and Brendan end up going on a lot of research “dates” for her articles, which he never asks about, and bonding over their shared whatever. Seriously though, if she thinks we should dump someone over not celebrating Hallmark holidays in the same way, why is it okay he NEVER ASKS HER WHAT SHE WRITES?

As ‘Coach’ Avery inexplicably answers the trolling of her articles by responding with personal information, despite how much she supposedly values her anonymity. This is to move the plot along and have her online persona change her troll’s mind about...her? VD? Love? I don’t even know anymore, but it works and Brendan starts to feel guilty about being an ass to ‘Coach’ because Avery is changing his mind about all the things he thought he didn’t want. Or something.

Despite their shared dislike of VD the two of them decide to go out to dinner on the BIG DAY, prompting ‘Coach’ to admit she’d have been disappointed if her beau hadn’t asked. Brendan then writes to say the woman he’s seeing doesn’t need Valentine’s validation and ‘Coach’ could learn a lot from her.

R’uh-roh!

Across the street McKenna has apologized for dumping Brendan and suggests they should give it another go. She is understandably upset when she finds out he has a VD date. She also wheedles Avery’s name out of Kit, who is still trying and failing at capturing Pru’s attention. Some fun quotes from Pru and McKenna’s conversation about Kit’s crush:

McKenna, referencing Pru’s exes: “Kit’s different, he doesn’t have tattoos”

Pru: “He makes me nervous. I hate that feeling” 

McKenna: “I think that means you like him.”

At the paper, Avery’s editor is forcing her to out herself to her troll because “she writes about her feelings” so why not make herself more vulnerable to open attack by a known harasser? It’ll be fun!

McKenna puts two and nine together when Brendan admits to being the online troll, and she decides Avery needs to know the truth, which, fair. Brendan has a change of heart and attends the big coming out at the paper so he can apologize to ‘Coach’ and tell her she was right, arriving just in time for Avery to reveal herself as ‘Coach’. Brendan then rushes off  because he knows she’s gonna be pissed when she finds out he’s one who’s been harassing her. But McKenna stays long enough to spill the beans and ruin Avery’s life.

Brendan seems surprised that Avery is upset to find out he’s the kind of guy who would harass women online (#notallmen, amirite?) and his list of excuses include not knowing it was her. That’s it. That’s all he’s got. But don’t worry because dear old dad is back with such gems as:

“Maybe you’re just scared and this (her anger) is an excuse.”

“Give the rest of us a break because today’s column was a real downer”

I mean, he liked her column when it was sweet and hopeful, not, you know, when she has feelings he doesn’t deem acceptable. And who can forget the golden dad-ism of:

“It’s time the coach started thinking about the team.”

I’m almost done, I promise.

Avery decides the time for hiding from VD is over and buys a bunch of stereotypical crap for her family. While shopping she runs into McKenna, who tells her to give Brendan another chance because he’s a NICE GUY and McKenna is a sad, lonely creature we’re supposed to feel sorry for, despite her being exactly the kind of woman this movie spends 2 hours and 3 minutes telling us is how women should be.

Kit storms into the bakery/cafe with balloons, chocolates, and a giant teddy bear to declare his love for Pru. At her job. In front of customers. I mean, she has to say yes because even a shrew can’t say no to such a grand and manipulative gesture!

The movie ends with the unlikely couple getting back together (surprise!) when Brendan messages Avery through the comments on her final VD column and then showing up at her house before she can respond. Ah, true love, you defy all societal norms!

How I Would Fix This With Fic: By throwing the script in the trash and lighting it on fire.

Fics Like This: Another Mask Behind You by lettered (this promises to be 116k words of HP smut so I hope it lives up to expectations, Male Order Bride by teacuphuman (a gay rewrite of a Hallmark movie starring Bane and Blake from TDKR. Am I promoting my fic here? Hell, yeah!)