#Valdo Marx

[0dde11eth]

Valdo hired someone to kill jaskier, unfortunately he didn't realize exactly how loveable jaskier is.

*** at the inn ***

*Aiden looming over jaskier with a knife to his throat*

Jaskier: the opposite of assassin is dickdickout

Aiden: I like you, I think im gonna keep you

Jaskier: yay! New addition to my witcher collection!

[untangling-my-headphones]

one thing I actually loved was when Jaskier was given the opportunity to end Rience he pulled no punches, I think his words were "get rid of him" GET RID OF HIM. none of that I'm not stooping to their level, show mercy shit, just straight up kill that guy. of course he knew how much of a threat Rience is to Geralt and Ciri but also he's touching his hands in that scene where Rience burnt him, his eyes are spaced out like he's going right back to that moment, this is very much revenge for himself as well.

I think Jaskier has always had that way about him like when he wished on the Djinn (though obviously it didn't work) for Valdo Marx to die but it's seen as a joke and his naivety when it comes to death and murdering and having blood on your hands plays a part, he's wishing death over a petty bard rivalry. But with Rience he doesn't have that naivety anymore and he still just mercilessly demands his outright death.

[anyanp]

bards in corsets UwU

[headcanonthings]

Valdo: WHY ARE NONE OF MY CLOTHES FUCKING FITTING ANYMORE?? Priscilla: *quietly turns to look at Jaskier* Jaskier: Priscilla: Have you been- Jaskier: Replacing all his shirts with slightly smaller ones and replacing the tag so it says it was the original shirt's size? Absolutely not Priscilla:

[wren-of-the-woods]

I’m thinking about the parallels between Jaskier and Valdo Marx. I’m thinking about how Valdo plays a silly song about romance and sex at a ball just as Jaskier did all those years ago in Cintra, and I’m thinking about how Jaskier now sings songs about love and life that are incredibly full of feeling. I’m thinking about how, when the monster attacks, Valdo runs and Jaskier helps.

I’m thinking about how Jaskier has grown to be so much more than a simple bard, and how Valdo Marx highlights that.

[phantomstatistician]

Fandom: The Witcher (All Media Types) (Top); The Witcher (Videogame) (Bottom)

Character: Dandelion

Sample Size: 26,687 stories (Top); 2,965 stories (Bottom)

Source: AO3

[timetraveladdict]

I already like Valdo with evil moustache 😂

[thelostgirl21]

Being Jaskier's nemesis when he's sober during a monster attack involves...

Being immediately shoved to safety as soon as the monster shows up...

Having Jaskier protectively stand in front of your hiding spot with a makeshift weapon...

...looking fierce!

Him fussing over you and checking if you'll be okay, before sacrificing his only weapon to allow you to defend yourself while he goes to check on one of your friends.

You two suddenly looking like a cute pair of dabbling ducks foraging for food.

Being Jaskier's nemesis when he's heartbroken and drunk involves...

[bambirex]

Okay but now I want a very homoerotic rivalry between Jaskier and Valdo. Gimme suggestive lines and heavy subtext gimme implications that they had fucked/dated in the past, banter that is pretty much just hate- flirting. And i very specifically want a scene with Valdo tucking a piece of Jaskier's hair behind his ear in a manner that is both condescending and flirty

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

no bc which one of us on witcher tumblr snuck onto set/into the writers room for s3 I mean?? geralt being openly and directly caring and soft for jaskier???? jaskier bonding with ciri and being her fun uncle like a plethora of post-s1 fics hoped for???? jaskier being traumatized and scared of seeing rience again and it's not treated like a joke??? valdo marx not only being there and existing in a corporeal form but also being very much a Valdo Fucking Marx??? which of you guys snuck in I know it was one of you

[0dde11eth]

Geralt: ill let you come on the hunt if you can do one thing

Jaskier: anything! I need inspiration geralt!

Geralt: Pay valdo a compliment tonight at the party

Jaskier: Ugh fine

***later than night***

Jaskier: Valdo, you smell better than you look

Geralt: Try again

Jaskier: Valdo you carry yourself with the confidence of a much taller, more successful man

Geralt: Jaskier no

Jaskier: it's ok I'm on a roll! Valdo I'm so proud of how you never succumbed to beauty standards, or even try to follow the latest fashions. Furthermore, You never let your lack of musical talent stop you!

Geralt: Stop

Jaskier: You are at the peak of the bell curve

Geralt: *starts dragging jaskier away*

Jaskier: Oh looks like we are leaving for a dangerous hunt! Have the day you deserve!

[endiness]

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

No one:

Not a single soul:

Jaskier every time Valdo Marx and his crew open their mouths:

[headcanonthings]

Valdo: Don't correct me. Jaskier: Don't be wrong.

[hannibard]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[dadralt]

Nathan Armakwei Laryea as Valdo Marx in The Witcher Season 3 Episode 4