#idiot syndrome anon

[blackwolfmanx4]

At least this guy 👉🏾 @voluptuarian has the balls to go off anonymous and speak his dumbassery. Of course he blocked me but at least he had some semblance of courage.

You really went out and voted for a rapist because you didn't want to see a black woman in the oval office. Selfish fucking piece of shit.

I wrote in white kamala

[jewelleria]

I know it's not how you rationalize it to yourself, but your posts about Israel/palestine come off as a support of the destruction of Gaza and ethnic cleansing of Palestinians. Insisting that it's a war (Palestine isn't allowed to have an army, and Israel cannot claim self-defence against a territory they occupy), denying that Israel is at fault, obscuring support of Palestine in general as being motivated by antisemitism - it paints a picture.

At least 30 000, probably closer to 100 000 Palestinians have been killed as of now. That is so monumentally worse than anything currently happening to Israel / zionists. So when you spend most of your energy focusing on those wrongs, or insisting that people talking about Palestine should focus on them, it comes off as brushing it off or trying to diminish its importance.

You don't have to answer, as I'll be blocking you, but I'm asking you to please consider what you're willing to support, excuse or tone down, and why. I know what it's like to be too focused on the discrimination we're facing to really take in what other groups might be going through.

hey anon, that's some great useful idiot syndrome you got there. how much college debt did you go into to earn it?

[purpledemonlilyposting]

Lily is making throwaways to talk to herself now cause she's too afraid to turn anons back on.

[Lily's post]

There are so many golden nuggets in here. Since these are both most likely Lily lets look at a few!

Lily's media takes are beyond just bad, she asserts that the creators of children's cartoons are dangerous extremists for perceived bad messaging in their works that Lily just makes up.

Even without that Lily's takes on symbolism, metaphor, and just basic narrative structure are worth examining because they are some of the most bizarre and ignorant many of us have ever encountered.

But no one "orients their life around you", Lily. It just feels that way because you sit in your subsidized apartment on the internet all day ordering Door Dash from a Subway you could easily walk to. I'd say get some sun but you'd probably turn to ash like a vampire.

As for me? I do something you're incapable of: putting on a show.

No one cares you're trans, Lily. Get over it. Plenty of trans people exist in online nerd culture. You can't hide from the consequences of your own words and actions by using your demographic as shield.

Pfft. They could try. Go ahead. Make videos about me. Hell, Lily, unlike you I don't even hold or delete comments. The little anklebiters who like to lecture me in my comment section don't seem to realize I'm the one allowing them to be there expressing their stupid ignorant opinions because that aligns with my principles.

Lily doesn't make a video about me because she knows I'd just react to and laugh at it. And with any luck YouTube has taken her ability to copyright strike away because she's used it maliciously 9 times.

Also retard. Just say retard, Lily. Not "tradigrade" not "child left behind" not "fetal alcohol syndrome". Just say retard.

You clearly want to. And are bitter you can't because of the insular audience you've cultivated.

This is how I know it's you because only Lily Orchard could be upset I criticized the bland Antarctica anime for being a bland Antarctica anime the sole focus of which is to get 4 teenage moeblobs on a big technical ship. Which is written by a middle aged man who does nothing but moeblob shows and directed by a woman who does nothing but moeblob shows. They both worked on No Game No Life, Lily. You know. This:

The one with the 11 year old loli in love with her step brother. Actually Lily it sounds right up your alley. You should watch it next.

Antarctica show is so full of so many plot contrivances. Why does Shirase just carry her wad of Antarctica cash everywhere and dropped it so carelessly? It's sure convenient that her and Kimari just happen to go to the same school and Kimari happens to hear her loudly wailing about the money in the bathroom. How does Hinata, a 16 year old high school drop out who works in a convenience store think she can even hope to afford this trip? Where are her parents in this anyway? We never see them.

The girls only get on the trip in the first place because another girl who is a child star vlogger just happens to be also going and just happens to contact them wanting them to go in her stead. And after making friends with them she tells her mother that she won't go without the other 3 girls but... the rest of the expedition that adamantly refused to let them on before just suddenly agrees to take them? Because this one minor celebrity and her manager mom who isn't even going said so? Takako only wanted to go to Antarctica because it just sounded neat, she's not an artic researcher, or engineer, or anything that would justify her being out there (a woman in STEM? Perish the thought says 50 year old Jukki Hanada I guess) and she died out in a blizzard trying to get a laptop to email her daughter who she has now left motherless for no good reason. And this is only ever treated as heartwarming and not idiotic.

Face it Lily. The entire show exists just to get 4 teenage girls on a big ship so otaku men can enjoy both brainless moeblobs and technical ship porn. The show sure likes to emphasize over and over how the girls are joshi kosei too. Why couldn't the show have been about the trip of the adult women (who incidentally also act like brainless teenage girls in the show)?

Yeah you guys aren't winning against me on Utena lol. Here, have my post where I have the video walking people through the episode itself. If you want to ignore the actual text of the series in order to appear morally forthright that's your own problem:

And everyone on the bus clapped, and that Asian woman's name? Albert Einstein. What does this have to do with anything except poisoning the well by linking this unsourced incident in peoples' minds to Ant and I?

Also it's Twitter. So Twitter is bad and unreasonable here, but they're not bad and unreasonable when they're squawking at me over a classic anime they've never even watched. Or squawking at Ant cause "L-L-Lily is totes a Native trans woman?? So you can't criticize any of the batshittery that spews constantly from her face hole??"

Ah now we're on to Lily's response to herself.

Oh look out Ant, Lily's got damning screenshots she just can't show anybody right now.

Probably similar to when she happily accepted a screenshot from Poppy of Poppy being creepy to Courtney and tried to blame Courtney for it.

Lily you attract attention when people talk about you because the wider nerdy internet knows your takes are insanely bad. And they know your takes are all tangled up in your personal dramas and heinous actions. They can tell. You're not as subtle as you think you are.

I cut together my response to your bad Utena takes in your 2023 Steven Universe video on a whim and slapped it on my completely unestablished personal YouTube account. It got 5k views in a few days. That's how disliked you are.

Nobody knows who I am but you sure copyright struck 4 of my livestream VODs trying to take my channel down. The 4 VODs where I most talk about your blatantly obvious incest fetish at that. Nobody knows who I am but I've gained 10k subs in 6 months primarily from dunking on you. Because I'm better at YouTube than you are.

And people do bitch at me for saying retard constantly. And you know why I keep doing it? Because the ones who most often tell me not to are some of the most annoying, entitled, self-righteous, puritanical control freaks and it's an easy way to weed them out.

By the way have fun trying to find a lawyer within 10 days who will tell you "Why yes, Lily, you can absolutely copyright these videos of yours full of footage that belong to Viacom, Netflix, Amazon, Toei Animation, Dreamworks, Activision-Blizzard, and many more!"

[hughiecampbelle]

Dating Golden Boy Would Include:

Requested: hi! i saw your request are open sooo…. what about some dating headcanons for golden boy (loml) ty 🩷🩷 - anon

A/N: Oh my love, thank you for requesting!!!! Luke deserved so much better omg. I kind of took this as "already dating" rather than how you start dating, but please lmk if you'd like another post in that direction! Feedback is always appreciated!!! 💕

It takes Luke a long time to really talk about his family

His parents are another story, but Sam is the one he takes some time to talk about

You know the basics from him and Cate and Andre, but it's the little things he shares in the dark, with you in his arms in your bed

The milkshakes they got at Vought-A-Burger, the movies they watched and how Sam wanted to be powerful just like Homelander, the times they played in the backyard, the dreams they shared of being a sibling duo in The Seven

You listen carefully, knowing it's difficult to talk about. He loved his baby brother. You make sure he knows you're listening, that you care

Luke waits outside your classes when he's able to, kissing you and holding your backpack like you're in high school

When you work on your homework together, either in your suites or late in the library, he gets distracted so easily

"You're never going to pass this test if you keep playing paper football."

"Just one more time, I swear."

He finally locks in at midnight when you're tired and begging to go to sleep

After those late nights, he surprises you with your favorite coffee from that one place on campus

With certain subjects, it comes natural to him. Others, like analytics, feels like torture. He was never the best student, but was accepted into God U for his Supe abilities

Luke is full of humility. He knows, though he's powerful, he's not the smartest student. That there are better people in his classes and that he wouldn't be number one if it wasn't for what he could physically do

He gets imposter syndrome, too. Whenever he comes out of a meeting with Brink, he immediately comes to you, questioning if what he says is true. You're his biggest cheerleader. You know just how great he is. You wished he could see it, too

Being front row to all his practices and being allowed on the field beforehand. Andre loves you, but hates when you and Luke have a "good luck" kiss

"Get a room, you two!"

The first time you saw him naked was when he was practicing and you were speechless. Luke had to learn pretty early on that nudity was nothing to be ashamed of and you had to get comfortable with the whole world seeing your boyfriend like that quickly, too

Luke constantly asks "Where would I be without you?"

Everyone knows who you are because of Luke and everyone knows you're off limits

Luke is pretty mild on PDA. He might have his arm around you or walk hand in hand, but he's not over the top with it like others might be

He's big on hugs, especially the ones from behind where he can rest his chin on your shoulder/head. It's his favorite way to show his affection

When he meets your friends and family, he's beyond nervous. You can tell him they'll love him a thousand times and he still won't believe you

Of course they adore him, everyone does

Visiting your family during breaks and holidays, Luke becomes a staple. Truthfully, he doesn't want to go back to a home that just reminds him of his loss

When you sleep together he has to be touching you, usually his arms are around you. He just needs to know you're there

Going to parties together where he dances like an idiot just to see you smile

You're definitely a distraction in his studies in your early relationship, but you help get him back on track once you realize he's at risk for slipping into slot two

Being close to his friends (which are of course your friends), but not knowing anything about what's really going on with Sam or Shetty or Cate. You're blissfully unaware, Cate's made sure of it

Weekly date night! Luke knows you have hectic schedules and makes sure, at least one night, you go out and forget about tests and midterms and everything. Whether it's watching bad movies or going to fancy dinners, it's something that just the two of you get to experience

Planning for the future. You and Luke have big plans, even if it's not set in stone yet. He wants to join The Seven. You want to prevent local crime, a job that isn't grand, but means a lot to you. You might even work behind the scenes. As Luke likes to remind you, you're far more intelligent than you give yourself credit for. After that, a house, kids, a pet. He wanted a life with you until you grew old and frail and he could no longer fly

Though you have your own suite, you basically moved in with Luke. After what happens with Brink, only your things remain

Luke goes to you when he starts seeing things, hearing things, afraid he'll end up like his brother. You promise, whatever it is, you'll figure it out together

You're not there when Luke kills himself and you're not sure if you're grateful or not

He tells Andre to tell you he loves you and he's sorry, that he never wanted to hurt you

[sgiandubh]

Anon rebelde.

A Cait le ha costado pero ha aprendido como intentar hacer creíble su relación con Tony aunque el sigue tan poco colaborativo como se ve en el vídeo de IFTA

No hay llegada a los premios porque la ultima vez, el papel de guardabrigo de Tony a la salida del coche de Cait quedó bien patente y ese paso atrás como buen asistente ha quedado para la historia.

No hay desfile en la Red Carpet con Tony porque la velocidad de Cait para alejarse de el saben que es carne de gifs.

Las manos de Tony debajo de la mesa porque sus últimos aplausos denotaban un cierto manierismo muy poco varonil.

Cait radiante, esperando el barrido de la cámara, mientras Tony parece ajeno a lo que sucede alrededor con una sonrisa que podríamos describir como una mueca.

En resumen, la enésima puesta en escena del circo Tait. Si aún hay alguien que compre entradas para ese espectáculo es su problema, no el nuestro.

Dear, dear Anon Rebelde,

¡Te extrañé! Bienvenida de nuevo, en uno de los momentos más bajos que parece que nos gustan con tanto masoquismo, de este lado de la valla. Pero primero, la traducción:

'It did cost Cait, but she learned how to try and make her relationship to Tony look credible, even if he still doesn't seem willing to collaborate, as the IFTA clip shows us.

There is no arrival at the awards because last year, Tony's role as coat handler when leaving Cait's car was blatantly obvious and that relegation to good assistant went on record.

There is no parade on the Red Carpet with Tony because of Cait's haste in getting away from him. They know it's gif material.

Tony's hands are under the table because last year's applause denoted a certain, very unmanly, mannerism.

Cait beams, waiting for the camera to pan, while Tony seems oblivious to what is happening around him, with a smile that could rather be described as a grimace.

In short, the umpteenth staging of the Tait circus. If there is still someone who buys tickets for that show, it is their problem, not ours.'

I overall agree, as always, with your very balanced evaluation of the current state of play. But I also think tickets for that particular show will always be a hot sale in this fandom, either because it will be just up some people's alley (Mordor - I am amazed at the stupidity of their discussing the concept and some of them never heard of Tolkien: mind boggles), or because of the collective trauma/Stockholm syndrome many of us, here, still display. What I mean by that is very simple: for eight years now, we, shippers have been hostages of that Narrative and when something happens along those lines, we will surely react, giving all its toxicity renewed space and airtime. I am not judging anybody, here, because this is only human (and to many, the trauma is palpable) and there is nothing to judge. This is, however, a well-known group behavior dynamic that never fails to deliver. What she did was simply to double down on her PDA. But the experiment failed, because even five years after that Remarkable Week-end, the man still can't be arsed to show any organic enthusiasm or even involvement in his whereabouts. Cue in the SC nostalgia pic galore on shipping blogs and I have to say I am not really a fan: it just fuels that disco inferno cycle and exposes us to the same old, vile criticism, when the core of the shipping belief system is to be found elsewhere. Again, not judging anyone, just trying to understand behavior patterns, here.

Plus, I am really sorry, but he has been looking all sorts of terrible for quite a while, now. Blaming the camera angle (cortisone bloating) or the lighting systems is as mendacious and idiotic as the people circulating it. This kind of free propaganda is also known by all the interested parties and it also never fails to deliver, for many reasons it would be useless to further analyze.

Looking forward to read your witty take on things next time, darling. Siempre un placer leerte, corazon.

[aurae-rori]

It’s 🦋, I’m back. I have thoughts and opinions and (it ended up being long) broad character analysis! You’ll see what I mean by sounding like a cocky academic in a sec.

—

Dr. Ratio definitely has a lot of elements of gifted kid syndrome. The not being treated like a normal kid, the self deeply intwined with excellence, the being really amazing but never reaching your “full potential,” etc etc.

But the whole idea behind gifted kid syndrome is that those kids eventually burn out or plateau. They lose motivation, or they’ve got unaddressed issues, or they get cocky and stagnate.

Sometimes… Sometimes those kids just don’t. They just don’t stop. Sometimes those kids get continuously moved up to the next level, but every time, it’s not enough of a challenge. Even in adulthood. And these people only get there because they really do care about learning, so it gets really, really exhausting to only hear things like “genius” again and again without actually being taught. At some point you start to wonder if you’re just… at the top already. If you’re the final destination.

If you don’t make an active effort to reach out to people outside that bubble, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you’re on a different level. You’re desperate to satisfy an insatiable potential. That’s what the Genius Society is, essentially. People who are labeled geniuses are usually isolated by society, so when they find each other, they come to the conclusion that they’re a unique breed of their own in order to explain how achingly lonely it is with no one to keep up with them.

They aren’t.

That’s why Dr. Ratio is such a good character to me. He’s undergone the same kind of genius-isolation treatment, but instead of separating himself from humanity, he insists on being counted as no different, even if that leaves him mostly alone. And he doesn’t pretend he isn’t intelligent either! He’s not modest, which is very annoying sometimes, but it’s… a lot realer. I mean, isn’t it more disingenuous to have people tell you how genius you are all the time and just pretend not to know you’re smart? He’s not a superior specimen of man, but he’s also not an idiot. He’s a Mundanite.

So in the spirit of being absolutely shameless, I have to say that it feels good to see some actual empathy put into this archetype. Makes me feel less like a crazy person for having the same philosophy and similar struggles.

(Still figuring out an adequate balance of self-confidence and modesty though, the social skills really are the hardest part)

In my opinion, you don't sound like a cocky academic at all. You're explaining your own views on this prospect, and honestly, I really liked reading through this. I agree - Dr. Ratio holds a special place in my heart because he's been isolated due to his intellect, but he still tries to help people and be with them. He still actively expresses his empathy (even if it's in ways that aren't quote on quote, kind) and he does care for others and tries to better their lives and teach them. Self-isolation and isolation from society is absolutely hard to deal with, but seeing him react in that way is honestly really touching and heart-warming. To see a "Gifted Kid" who just kept on going, but who also chose to grow from that experience by choosing to interact with others despite his status.

Once again, really loved reading through this. I believe in you, and I'm glad that you can empathize with others and that you can still connect with others to some level despite going through that. You're doing great, anon. If my words are worth any salt, I'm proud of you for going this far and for trying your best. Please take care of yourself and remember that you're a person outside of your intellect, too. Feel free to drop by again with more takes, because this was really sweet to read and now I have more motivation for my Dr. Ratio angst. :)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks 1/25

facilities anon (new), not faking anon (new), experiences anon (new), midnights anon, idiots anon (new), teen angst anon (new), social cues anon (new)

Facilities Anon

Here's the beginning of your ask so you know it's you!

So I’m a queer minor in the south…and the odds aren’t really in my favor rn.

Hi! I just wanted to give my two cents since I've been to one of these places before. My advice would be to look up information on available places. Find out if they take insurance, if they are queer-friendly, look up how past patients felt about them, etc. Since you're doing this voluntarily, you have the chance to be pickier, you know?

Wishing you all the luck <3

________________

Not Faking Anon

i've identified as trans for over a year but i still feel like i'm faking it or whatever. i don't know why, i feel so happy whenever people use my preferred name and pronouns, and feel sick to my stomach sometimes when misgendered. i just can't stop thinking that this is a phase even though i know it's likely not, but also know that it's fine if it is actually a phase.

anyways, sorry for the little rant. i hope you're okay and taking care of yourself <3

I mean especially now, with trans rights being such a political issue, I feel like it's natural that imposter syndrome would be a thing. Do you have any friends who are also trans? Maybe you could talk to them to see if they're feeling similarly? If it helps, I've definitely had moments of like...'what if I'm faking it to MYSELF?' about not just my gender but like....most of the things I struggle with so I don't think you're alone at all.

_____________________

Experiences Anon

Here's the beginning of your ask so you know it's you!

I can’t tell if I’m being dramatic about my experiences, but I feel like I constantly am

Struggling and needing help isn't dramatic. I think some people are given so much shit about like...taking up space...that when they end up breaking down and NEEDING to take up space, they feel awful and dramatic about it. But it's not dramatic to struggle. You deserve help and love and to be happy <3

_________________

Midnights Anon

Hi! Midnights anon again

Sorry for all the asks! If it gets too much I get it if you stop answering.

I’ve been trying to get better with my mental health and it’s been really hard. Usually when it gets hard I quit and just go back to bad habits, but I think I’m ready to move on.

I feel like I’m honestly going crazy. My heads all fuzzy, my intrusive thoughts are worse and more frequent, I feel bad and numb when I go home, and my dad’s comment about my food just pushed me over the edge and now I can’t really bring myself to eat anymore?

I really just want to cry and be held, but my parents are bad at comfort and I either don’t have the time to cry or I’m too scared to ask my friends for help. They’re the first friends who either haven’t bullied me or abused me and I don’t want to cry in front of them again (it happened once and I feel so embarrassed and guilty)

Uhm… yeah? Typing/writing things down usually helps me process my emotions better. I think I’m gonna start journaling again :)

Thank you! And keep safe and take care of yourself, especially ’cause of the elections.

Goodbyeeee :)

Hi <3 I just want to remind you that you deserve comfort and love. And it sounds like your friends might be willing to give you some comfort. It's okay to ask for reassurance, especially from people who seem to really care. You could start small- maybe just ask for a hug?

Journaling is a great idea! I know writing helps me :)

Sending love <3

_______________________

Idiots Anon

hey Cas I hope you’re doing well and im really sorry to bother bit I could use some advice and perspective , ig.

so there is this girl im really good friend with and she’s one of my best friends but i really hate her guy friends and have a hard time hiding it.

one of them keep hurting her and making her sad but she keeps forgiving him. Last time they and another two ppl were doing a group project (whose grade is going in a finals is pretty important) and in his personal part he just put all of theirs into chat gpt and had it spit out amt he just blindly copy. It had sentences word for word for hers in away that it was clear it wasn’t a mistake and was going to be trouble. It made my friend especially sad because she would have helped him so much she would pretty much write it for him if he only asked and he went and stole her work behind her back . It took him 3.5 weeks to somewhat apologize and she forgave him much before. She cried to me about it so much and it broke my heart and i can not look at their friendship at a positive light. And he’s lokey homophobic to a degree they have known each other for 5 years and she still hasn’t come out to him as bi and I honestly can’t blame her. Shouldn’t one of your best friends be someone you can trust to share these type of thing with? She told me after around 7 months into being friends (but maybe it was bc she thought i was also queer though there were rumors i was homophobic even though im queer but lets not get into that )

the other one was accused multiple times of sexual harassment and online bullying a girl in away that he moved to our class bc ig no one wanted to be friends with a guy like that. My friend claimed the rumors were fake and people were just bored and she talked to the person who made them up and they said it but it came from multiple sources ive heared.

I know rumors are a dangerous thing to trust but i can not bring myself to completely trust that its a lie and ‘befriending’ him.

I am not subtle about my dislike of them. I am not a very subtle person in general unless i specifically try. I will admit i can be mean to them even though ‘they haven’t anything to me personally ‘

yesterday we had a big thing in the hall and we were sitting some of my friends, me, her, then these boys. I ubsent mindedly kinda said like “hey x can you ask your idiots to move a sit so there is a chair for y?” they got kinda mad and didn’t move and I honestly don’t blame them ngl.

(gonna talk about the first guy I mentioned mostly feom here)

she texted me this morning starting with “we need to talk” and saying how i really hurt him and he is sad not knowing what he even did to me to deserve me being mean to him like that.

I don’t think im a mean person but i know i kinda am to him and i am going to try and stop for her sake. she even told me how she is stressing a bit about her b day party bc she doesn’t want us to fight and ruin it for he which i would neverrrr do and i told her so.

She said how she dislike some of my friends too but is nice to them still but i am not friends with people who repeatedly hurt me so much.

i am pretty protective and it makes me sad. She is such a good person who gives infinite chances to almost everybody. She is the kind to be able to get along with every single person no matter how different them or their values are which is honestly admirable but is not really something I can do like her.

i apologized to her and i will apologize to her friends and I really feel like shit but i dont even know what to do evenn mentally for that.

I would really appreciate some advice

hope you have a nice day <3

Hi! Okay so...hmmm..I'm feeling iffy about this one. I think that you definitely do not have to be friends with these guys, or even overly nice to them. They sound like bad news, and I completely understand why you don't like them. I would stay away too!

I think you need to make it clear to her WHY you are so concerned. It's not just that these boys are annoying, they're homophobic and they have accusations of harassment. Once you explain, if she still wants to be friends, then I think the best thing to do would be to try to avoid them when you can. When you can't, you don't have to be nice, just, you know, be to the point. No kindness but no cruelty either. One-word answers and such. And you can explain that to your friend- you can't be friends with these boys, but you won't be outright mean.

I think the only exception is your friend's birthday. I think there's certain things- weddings, birthdays, etc- where you have to be...extra nice for the sake of the person you're celebrating. So if your friend invites these boys, you have to decide if you can be nice to them for a day or not. You are well within your rights to say that you can't do that. There are certain people I just can't stand to be around, and that's okay. But then you would have to stay home. If you go, I think you need to kind of fake it for the day, because ruining someone else's day would be wrong...unless the boys say or do something first, and you're defending yourself.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, it sounds so frustrating.

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Teen Angst Anon

hi! I’ve never sent an ask before, but this felt like the appropriate level of *teen angst crisis mode* for an ask. 😁

I’m a freshman, and I specifically chose a (private) high school that was a lot less academically intense than my middle school, because my middle school experience was truly terrible, and I was super depressed leaving eighth grade, and just wanted to have the chance to experience the remainder of my childhood without three essays due every other day.

But, because of that, every time I feel overwhelmed my intrusive thoughts kind of go “this shouldn’t be overwhelming, you’ve dealt with much harder stuff”. And like, logically I know that’s not true at all, but it’s still there.

And, specifically today, I had a really overwhelming day, and literally every single one of my teachers snapped at me for no reason, and I got triggered (I have a lot of academic trauma) several times. And then, I had two hours of rehearsal after school (I auditioned for the play under the assumption I would be cast as ensemble,(my theater teacher DOES NOT GIVE FRESHMEN LEADS) but I was cast as a lead, because the universe hates me.)

and then, in rehearsal we were doing a bunch of super emotionally charged scenes, so by the end of rehearsal I was just SO DONE. So, I layed on the floor for a minute, except lying on the floor turned into sobbing on the floor, and just a full blown panic attack. But it was ok, because two of my friends (ish) in my grade were there, and they talked to me for the entire forty minutes I layed on the floor and sobbed, and I told them all about my ✨really great life choices✨.

AND THEN I actually checked my phone and my mom had tried to call me like seven times. Because, apparently, I had tutoring, but I forgot. So I was like “I have 25 min, I can get home it’ll be fine” but then it really wasn’t, but I got to the second train station (the connection, if you will), and there was a train in two minutes! But I was texting someone, and I MISSED IT. And the next one was in 12 WHOLE ENTIRE MINUTES!! So, I texted my tutor and was like “heyyy funny story” and, because she has known me for a long time, she was like “take some deep breaths it’s going to be ok”. BUT IT WASNT OK.

because at this point, I’d burst into tears. So, I’m ugly crying on this train platform, in front of a bunch of random people (like, SOBBING). And, I decide to call my mom, as one does, but she doesn’t pick up. So I call her again. Doesn’t answer. I CALLED HER 12 TIMES. So, I call my godmother. She doesn’t pick up. So, I call my BFF. He doesn’t pick up, so I curse him out in the voicemail I leave, traumatizing some of the nearby random people. I call my other best friend. She doesn’t respond either. In a last ditch effort, I call my dad. Who doesn’t respond. (Rude.) so, at this point I’ve decided non of my relatives love me. Then I realize I completely forgot to call my aunt. So, I call her AND SHE RESPONDS BECUASE SHE ACTUALLY LOVES ME. So, I talk to her about my day, on the train at this point, still crying.

I look over, and make eye contact with SOMEONE WHO WENT TO MY MIDDLE SCHOOL. Who’s 100% noticed me at this point, and is like looking at me weird (I look nothing like I did in middle school).

anyway. My seventh post on tumblr (ever) got just under 3000 notes, and I can’t handle that rn. Sorry this was so long, I hope you were at least marginally entertained by my chaotic story telling 😬

Hi <3

I think you definitely have a right to feel overwhelmed- I felt overwhelmed reading about all the things going on in your life! But I think you're also putting a LOT of pressure on yourself. I want to remind you that it sounds like you're doing the best you can, and you're doing really well. Please be gentle with yourself <3 I believe in you.

________________________

Social Cues Anon

Heyyy I am sorry I just don't know anything and suck at emotions and social clues and everything.

So I met some friends, and they brought a few other friends I don't really know. We introduced ourselves, there was one guy who looked cute and had a little femboy vibes. I thought he was cool and we talked, it was just two friend groups chatting nothing more.

Then we decided to go home and exited the cafe, me, as always, went to open the door bc I love to do that to my friends. Act of service is how I show I accept/like people. So I went and opened the door,

person A(a very buff guy) and the cute guy were the first ones to exit, there was just two guys left exiting so I jokingly said ladies first, because i say it to all my guy friends I meant it as teasing/ gender neutral, like how you say girl! Or bro- you know?

Turns out the cute guy was trans and I accidentally said lady to him and he got sad because tbh he didn't pass. But I didn't realize he didn't pass till he got sad, like he said my name is *insert very masculine name* so I just thought about him as a guy I didn't even realize or consider he could be trans- (tbh I think I am blind) anyway.

Then I felt guilty because no he was just a cute guy in my eyes I didn't see him as a girl I wasn't aware- I couldn't apologize because I was confused and didn't understand what I did wrong, then we separated and I couldn't speak much bc I can't speak much and I tried to but before I could we went to our houses

But since we just met that day he didn't like me- which is kinda sad because he was handsome and nice and I wanted to talk to him more, like maybe ask him to hangout, I really would appreciate being friends with him, he is so sweet and he was easy to talk to. I can't talk people normally. And he was so considerate and cute also he helped me to talk with others.

I wanted to apologize but I didn't know his number so I asked his friend which is also my friend but she said she shouldn't give his number since he might not want to talk to me which I understand, and said okay. Then I wanted to explain myself in person, we were in the same university but different faculties. I saw him in the training room and he saw me but I got nervous because how you talk to him like he was so nice I bet he will understand but I just couldn't talk to him got stressed and just acted like I didn't see him and went to my class but I guess he thinks I avoid him and I am homophobic or something but I am not he is just nice to be around and I got too nervous and I don't know how to talk. Now he thinks I am avoiding him bc he is lgbt but I am not I am literally Omnisexual but I can't tell this to himmmm he just looks like a Greek god and I just got too nervous around him I just recently managed to talk people at all I didn't exit home in years so you can guess how bad I am at talking to people. I am kinda antisocial and when we first met he started the Convo and I mostly listened and nod but it was easy but now it's not! I can't write to him because I can't find his damn phone number and I thought about leaving a letter but we don't have lockers or anything like that so I don't know what to do.

I just wanted to talk- and I don't know why, normally I hate new people and avoid them at all costs, but I didn't want him to view me as a bad person. Normally I don't care about how people view me but he just makes me worried and I don't know what's happening. I guess it's just meeting a nice guy made me nervous but I dunno. I don't want him to hate me Cass please help

Hi!

Okay so, I totally understand putting your foot in your mouth like that, I've found myself in similar situations before.

I think the thing is, if you see this boy again, you kind of just need to suck it up and apologize. I know it's awkward and scary, but there's no real easy way to fix it other than apologizing. But I also want to say- he might not be willing to accept your apology or trust you, and you have to be willing to accept that. With the way people view trans people right now...it's kind of hard, you know? It's not his job to make you feel better.

Whether or not you're able to apologize, I think this is a good learning moment. You're not a bad person, and it sounds like you care a lot about everyone in the community, so don't beat yourself up. Everyone makes mistakes! Just keep it in mind for the future.

(I do want to add though that commenting on someone being able to pass or not is not the best...'passing' is a concept that trans people have many differing feelings about so saying that someone passes or doesn't...like it's better to keep those thoughts to yourself, ig)

Sending you love, be gentle with yourself <3

[banes-favourite]

I would love more thoughts on Gortash having gender identity issues if you have them 👀

Gimme a deep dive 5 page essay /j

anon i am kissing u on the lips passionately for this ask btw 🙏

(tw for sexu@l and minor abuse)

ok so i think gortash is cis male and he didn't really question his identity as a kid, unless he was assigned like female roles in the games he played with other kids cause they thought he was a bit weird. he didn't mind them, mostly cause he had his own mommy issues and it was oddly healing to play as a mother figure (fic recommendation that gave me this idea in the first place).

in the house of hope, he was looked down upon in many ways, being called names was one of them. obviously there were the typical insults and "boy" in a derogatory way but i think since the whole point of being jailed was to be beaten down into an empty slate for Raphael to use and manipulate, it was also important to strip him of his identity as a whole. Nubaldin was probably great at that, providing equal amounts of both physical and emotional abuse, so i imagine there were points were he was punished for using his own name/pronouns. like, being asked what he is, enver giving a derogatory answer hoping it's the right one and nubaldin punching him anyway because "I used 'he' instead of 'it' for your pathetic ass, you should have corrected me"

once he hit the prepubescent age, they probably started having fun with calling him a girl (coupled with the sexu@l abuse he probably experienced), literally gaslighting him saying he was always a girl, he had no name, are you really that stupid? etc etc. obviously this confused him as it's difficult to keep a straight idea of your self-identity when you're concussed every other day. one minute he was less than dirt, the next he was a rat, then an idiot girl who can't even remember her own name, to the point he was so worn down he just accepted whatever they threw at him. If Raphael wanted him to be a boy, so be it, if he wanted a man, so be it, if he wanted a girl, so be fucking it.

he probably struggled a Lot with puberty too,, it came late to him, malnourished as he was, so the fact that he didn't even have body hair despite his body growing aided the gender misidentity. i think he'd often stare at the mirror, at his body and face, try to understand who he was behind the scars, losing control of himself and his mind. he didn't see himself as human, he was just a thing that was sold and then used and reshaped in whoever's hands he ended up like clay. he'd often ask Hope about it, try to understand how he was viewed by someone who wasn't malicious, and she'd answer as honestly and hopefully as she could but let's be honest, her riddles and tangents most likely just confused him further.

not to mention his twisted attractions?? like through all that, he had to somehow figure out what he was attracted to?? i think a healthy mix of sexu@l trauma and stockholm syndrome ended up contributing to his toxic view on relationships and sex as a whole. there's a reason Durge was the only one he was able to form a genuine relationship with.

anyway, all of it definitely ties in with his name change, too. not only did he struggle with rejoining society after HoH, he had to figure out himself all over again. i think he created the persona of a young, powerful and ambitious man named Enver Gortash and leaned into it so much it simply consumed him. he literally gaslit himself into curing his gender questioning like the girlboss he is.

also if you call him by she/her pronouns he'd most likely answer out of pure instinct

[musemash]

BOND VILLAIN APPRENTICE IS A RASPUTIN WANNABE – unhinged rant by the Canuck Crank

"Musk: a greasy secretion with a powerful odor" – American Heritage Dictionary

Judging from countless rants, memes, videos, and comments online, many Americans evidently have accepted the official 2024 election results – and consequently, have resigned themselves to four more years of insane misrule by a TREASONOUS PSYCHOPATH and his misbegotten coven of DELUSIONAL MISCREANTS. This phenomenon is bizarre, to say the least.

For one thing, the ATTENTION WHORE IN CHIEF has actually won less than 50 percent of the popular vote. But that has not stopped the legacy media from feeding into the dubious narrative that MAGA has somehow mysteriously acquired a BIGLY YUGE MANDATE to usher in the agenda outlined in the FASCIST BIBLE known as Project 2025.

This is happening despite the fact that a lot of people have been raising serious concerns about the integrity of the election over the past several weeks. So far, no absolute empirical proof of fraud has been revealed; but too many questions still need to be satisfactorily answered as soon as possible, before DOUBLE AGENT ORANGE ascends to America's rusty Iron Throne.

Indeed, there are good, solid reasons to wonder whether the election result may have been SABOTAGED by various bad actors. If that was proven to be the case, the perpetrators would doubtless include tech trickster ELON MUSK; couch connoisseur JD VANCE; reliably devious RUSSIAN AGENTS; stupidly unscrupulous MAGA operatives; and certain FAUX NOISE propaganda parrots.

But sadly, many Democrats and antifascists seem to have suddenly come down with a kind of STOCKHOLM SYNDROME – meekly acquiescing to the NEW ABNORMAL, and falling for the corporate MEDIA GASLIGHTING aimed at trying to discredit these concerns. The understandable suspicions about the election are being glibly and condescendingly dismissed as mere conspiracy theories – allegedly the product of something called 'BLUE ANON', a supposed left-wing equivalent of QAnon.

But this is obviously a totally different situation, with none of the factors that spawned Trump's unhinged STOP THE STEAL movement. Democrats did not prime their base for months on end with dubious propaganda predicting rigged elections. They perpetrated no insurrections. And they have not engineered countless frivolous lawsuits promoting idiotic speculations. They are simply wondering how anyone can be stupid enough to think that voters in the swing states went for Trump, but also voted blue on so many other key races.

Of course, it is indeed possible that election skeptics are grasping at straws as consolation. But the documented irregularities cited by various observers are clearly legitimate red flags. A comprehensive recount and FORENSIC AUDIT are absolutely warranted, before the election results should be taken as gospel. After all, in 2021, Trumpers were allowed to file more than 60 fricking COURT CASES challenging the results. So why should the Dems just roll over and placidly accept this outcome?

If the election was sabotaged, one of the motives was surely to perpetrate a DIABOLICAL PSYOP, whose purpose was manyfold: to provoke Americans ever further into fearing and hating each other; to hoodwink them into drowning in profound despair; to get them to accept the notion that they are part of an incurably failed nation; and to motivate them to give up on the idea of ever returning to democracy.

In the face of all these suspicions, if Democrats don't vehemently insist on conducting an immediate autopsy of their WOUNDED BODY POLITIC, it would constitute a feckless dereliction of duty. Instead of standing up for democracy, they would be joining the ranks of too many media pundits and money-grubbing CEOs, who are capitulating to encroaching fascism.They would essentially be handing their country over to the psychotic GOP LOONIES on a red white and blue platter – and giving them a license to CANCEL LADY LIBERTY.

But this is no time to give up. While valid concerns about the election will doubtless be dismissed by cynical skeptics as conspiratorial LIBTARD FANTASIZING motivated by wishful thinking, I maintain that there are more than enough valid reasons to justify a thorough investigation. Most notably, a recent PLANET CRITICAL article presents a sobering scenario:

"Computer scientists and hacking experts have detailed how the USA’s election software was compromised – and the relatively simple hack which could have then been used to FIX THE RESULTS in the seven swing states. They are calling for an immediate hand recount in key precincts which, they say, should swiftly show that a number of these ballots NEVER EXISTED."

Furthermore, as cyber threat expert JACKIE SINGH recently stated on X, America's enemies "want us to believe our society is DISINTEGRATING, and that our streets aren't safe. This is part of the KREMLIN PLAN to foment suspicion and violence amongst Americans. Their gambit relies on us being unable to put the dots together…. They muddy the waters by using American or deep cover local intermediaries to provide the impression of organic DOMESTIC EMOTION – when in reality, the events and resultant emotions endured by the manipulated public are often fully manufactured and paid for by PUTIN."

Judging from the variety of allegations, there are many other plausible scenarios that need to be explored. Some claim that ballot drop boxes were BURNED in blue districts, and areas with a lot of minority voters; that thousands of mail-in votes were simply left uncounted, or discarded; that some ballots were stolen from post offices; and that seals were broken on 13 ballot tabulators in Milwaukee.

More than a million Democrats were apparently PURGED from voter rolls in Texas; Dems in red states were not sent the mail-in ballots they requested; postal employees were accused of ballot theft, and forging ballot signatures; some Dem mail-in ballots were rejected for supposedly mismatched signatures in swing states; and in one district, ballots were allegedly sent to an estimated 325,000 people who were not registered voters.

Disturbingly, voters in some Dem-leaning locales were reportedly threatened by MAGA voters. Even more troubling is the fact that over 50 phony BOMB THREATS, evidently originating with Russian agents, forced evacuations at various left-leaning sites in battleground states. During the distractions caused by all this chaos, saboteurs could quite possibly have manipulated voting machines.

Despite vociferous media assurances that Musk's STARLINK system was not involved in some way, it is nevertheless a real possibility. Considering his tech expertise, the SPACEX CADET could have found a way to surreptitiously connect a satellite to vote tabulating systems, to alter the counts in swing states. It is well known that Musk did a variety of unethical things to install PRECEDENT TRUMPERY in the Oval Office; so it is hardly far-fetched to think he might have tried to hijack the vote via technology.

Elon retweeted Tenet Media's Russian disinformation multiple times; he also approved DEEPFAKE ATTACK ADS; and disseminated propaganda filled with grotesque distortions of Kamala Harris' beliefs and political positions. Most concerning is Joe Rogan's claim that Tesla's boy genius actually possessed an app that gave him the election results FOUR HOURS before they were officially revealed. W the actual F????

There were also evidently a record number of new VOTER REGISTRATIONS this year. Does it sound plausible that there were 20 million fewer people voting this year than in 2020, when the pandemic kept many folks housebound? Considering how much malfeasance has been revealed about the TRAITOR IN CHIEF since that election, it beggars the imagination to think Democrats would NOT have turned up in overwhelming droves to make certain he could not possibly win.

Why would so many voters choose Democrat senators and congress people, but then turn around and vote for a CONVICTED FELON – who is also an exhaustively documented LIAR, a financial FRAUDSTER, an adjudicated RAPIST, a dangerous INSURRECTIONIST, and a traitor stealing NUCLEAR SECRETS? Are Americans' memories really that fucking short?

Dems won down-ballot congressional races in swing states; but mysteriously, those same voters also supposedly chose the CELEBRITY INMATE APPRENTICE as their top guy. Given the vast amount of evidence demonstrating the manifold crimes of the FELON IN CHIEF, why the actual fuck would any sane Democrat choose him over Kamala? And how credible is it, that Trump would win ALL SEVEN of the swing states? None of this makes any sense whatsoever, dammit!

Further, prior to this election, MAGA agents were known to have tampered with voting system technology. The most high profile culprit was TINA PETERS, a Colorado operative who recently got a richly deserved nine year sentence for a data-breach scheme she engineered a few years ago.

Also, as Rachel Maddow reported, several times at rallies Trump told followers he didn't NEED ANYMORE VOTES. He also stated that he and Speaker Mikey 'Moses' Johnson had a cute "LITTLE SECRET" that would guarantee they won. He promised he would divulge the secret after the election. We're still waiting, dumbass!

Of course, it is obvious that the USEFUL IDIOT IN CHIEF owes much of his "victory" to his close personal dominatrix CZAR VLADIMIR. Russian official Nikolai Patrushev recently confirmed this, asserting: "To achieve success in this election, Donald Trump relied on certain forces, to which he has corresponding obligations."

America now faces the consequences of allowing an arrogant SMIRKING SOCIOPATH like Elong MuskRat to purchase and install a sexual predator, adjudicated felon, and archtraitor in the White House. Since DEMENTIA DONOLD's slimy orange hands will be on the NUCLEAR CODES once again, it is crystal clear that drastic action is required. Thus, while some will doubtless dismiss the following scenario as naive and far-fetched, I happily offer this MODEST PROPOSAL for what it's worth.

Before he becomes a milkshake guzzling retiree, JOLTIN' JOE needs to cut the malarkey and unleash his inner DARK BRANDON one last time, to prevent the fascist heist of his nation. He should exercise the prerogative granted to him by the SCOTUS IMMUNITY decision, and order the FBI to conduct an independent investigation of any credible allegations of election cheating. Ideally, a detailed DOJ report on the results could be made public before INAUGURATION DAY. But if necessary, Biden could simply order that the inauguration ceremony be postponed till the process is finished.

If there is sufficient concrete evidence that the November 5th results were indeed hijacked, then Musk, Trump, Vance, Johnson, and any other MAGA cronies that are seriously implicated in the crime, should be detained in GITMO, pending trial for treason. The subsequent legal proceedings should be televised, live and unedited, to reassure a terrified world that the USA has indeed learned from the deadly mistake of the ghastly TRUMP ERROR.

Alternatively, Brandon could use his immunity to release all the evidence accumulated by JACK SMITH, regarding the Insurrection, the stolen classified documents, and Trump's many obstructions of justice. This would demonstrate that Joe has every reason to reopen ALCATRAZ to corral Donnie and dozens of complicit MAGA MINIONS. The next step would be to ANNUL the 2024 election and order a shiny new one, rigorously overseen by CYBERSECURITY agents and U.N. ELECTION MONITORS. Under the obvious emergency conditions, these would all definitely be legitimate "OFFICIAL ACTS."

But to be entirely realistic, we must also contemplate an even more troubling scenario than the ones I've outlined. What if the election was NOT stolen by the MAGAGOP? This would mean that a majority of the electorate, who were sufficiently motivated to get off their asses to vote, were also comfortable with the idea of having their country's worst WHITE COLLAR CRIMINAL be put in charge of their nation's destiny and their children's future.

Thus, they were content to basically trash America's legacy of FIGHTING FASCISM; metaphorically, they casually pissed on all the graves in ARLINGTON CEMETERY. How very disgraceful, and monumentally tragic, such an outcome would be. Now emboldened, the RAPIST IN CHIEF could very well take a wrecking ball to the USA, to satisfy his vengeance, and suck up to BIG DADDY VLADDY. If this happens, it will be a literal miracle if America survives the next four years.

By handing him the White House, myriad incredibly stupid voters have made it almost certain that he will NEVER FACE JUSTICE for his many documented crimes – and everything good about America will be run into the ground, by the most sickening lawbreaker in its history. But those who idolize this treacherous barbarian have nothing to gloat about. God help them if they ever have to face the truth about what they have ENABLED. We'll see who will be weeping in the end.

All that said, I still refuse to underestimate the tenacity and courage of the true patriots and "BETTER ANGELS" of the USA. So while the Yankee homeland won't be the Land Of The Free for the next several years, we will hopefully soon find out that this nation is indeed still the HOME OF THE BRAVE. It may still not be too late to witness the downfall and comeuppance of MUSKPUTIN and his MAGAMOBSTERS.

Best wishes to every one of America's citizens who still treasure democracy. To them I say: Many of us living outside your borders still care deeply about what happens to you. So STAND STRONG – and please don't give up! This is no time for despair, or to wallow in disgust. It's time to get determined – and hopeful. As labor union martyr JOE HILL put it just before he was executed: "DON'T MOURN – ORGANIZE!"

In conclusion: If y'all think I'm just a gullible type, over-reacting and living in a dream world, feel free to call me DON QUIXOTE – then just saddle me up, and point me to the nearest WINDMILL! But to make my case, I submit a very comprehensive archive of related news items, editorials, and satirical videos; I respectfully challenge you to check them out with an open mind.

If enough American voters become sufficiently aware of the deadly serious reasons for the aforementioned concerns, it may not be too late for them to demand that Dark Brandon rescue their nation from the UNBRIDLED DEPRAVITY of Trumpism before it's too late. You'll find the archive at the first link below. I urge you to share it as widely as possible.

HOW MAGA MINIONS & KREMLIN GREMLINS STOLE XMAS https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/42536218614/ TRUMPERY’S FOLLY VS THE MOMALA FACTOR https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/766200584914288640/ DARK BRANDON PASSES THE TORCH https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/736140385977597952/ THE KARMALA PHENOMENON https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/721712158853955584/ MARALARDO’S BROMANCE FOR THE AGES https://www.flickr.com/photos/aeon999/54233325168/in/album-72177720322854833/lightbox/ HOW LORD MUSKPUTIN CONQUERED MARS https://www.flickr.com/photos/aeon999/54233312564/in/album-72177720322832375/lightbox/ MALARKEY ERADICATION PROTOCOL ACTIVATED https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/734918544477798400/ FINAL DISPATCHES FROM THE KAMBRAT ZONE https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/771191287661690880/

[mothheart]

appears again with a question :]

do you have super specific hcs for your subspace and medkit? you dont have to answer if you dont want to

- 💫 anon

i do!! i pretty much fit most of them into my fics but i can list em out

medkit:

- i hc him as chronically ill. i don't specify in What Way he is in my fics, but between u and i he has sjogrens, ehlers danlos syndrome, and asthma! (me when i project)

- autism central. i mean its practically canon

- he's non-binary and uses exclusively he/him pronouns (just like me fr)

- he wasn't born 'naturally talented', unlike subspace. he always had to work hard to get places, but he didn't get much recognition for that in his blackrock days, being overshadowed by subspace and whatnot. it wasn't until he joined the church that his skills were truly recognized

- he had very mixed feelings about subspace in his blackrock days. on one hand, he sorta mourned for who he Could Have Been if he weren't so easily brainwashed by their superiors. on the other hand, he found him annoying and too clingy. also above ^ he was jealous of him and wished he could be recognized for his efforts in the way subspace always was. he hated living in his shadow.

- his favorite flavor is lemon! he generally dislikes sweet things but if it's lemon flavored he Will devour it

- when he gets older (around 40s) he has to start using a cane due to his disabilities

- on the outside he acts like he strongly dislikes boombox, but he secretly is fond of him. he's one of few individuals that will actually discuss his love of classical music with him and that means a lot to him

- he absolutely despises the cold, despite originating from blackrock. it hurts his joints and he has no tolerance for it. he thrives in warm weather. he's also one of those guys that's just Always cold. he and subspace cuddle and he puts his cold hands or feet on him and subspace is squealing like a little girl

- he's great with children (i had this hc before his spawnday qna video ok) and would love to be a father.

- he's pretty insecure about his body, but he doesn't really show or say it. it feels too vulnerable for him to admit that

- he really looks up to zuka. they're close friends, and zuka helped him through some really dark times. he constantly wishes he could do the same for him

subspace: (tw for self harm for this idiot) 

- when he could still taste, he *loved* sweet foods. major sweet tooth. polar opposite of medkit. he often gets a lil sad bc he misses his sweet treats 

- the most enjoyment he gets out of food/drink is from caffeine, alcohol, and crunchy things. Yummy Texture 

- he still self harms, but it used to be *extreme*. he didnt care what others thought, and sometimes he would do it in front of others, like burning himself and claiming it was an accident. he liked any sort of attention it would get him, and it also offered him relief from [redacted] 

- he's considered the thought of having children, but knowing he can't even fully take care of himself, he acknowledges he would be a shit parent. hed also rather die than have biological children. 

- he did his own top surgery. no sort of anesthesia. crazy bitch 

- he's depressed but refuses to acknowledge it. he thinks it makes him weak. he especially thinks it would make him weak to take any sort of antidepressant.

- he really likes animals, but he doesn't trust himself around them.

- also asthmatic, but he wasn't born with it. he's got a lot of respiratory issues due to his illness.

- he refuses to see doctors for anything. it doesn't matter that he is Literally Dying. he thinks he's capable of taking care of whatever illnesses befall him (no the fuck he is not!!!)

- bpd haver. medkit is his fp.

- he is Always Hot. he's like a walking heater box. again, polar opposite of medkit. he physically cannot tolerate the heat. has gotten heatstroke multiple times. medkit *loves* cuddling him for this reason

- he uses his very small age and height difference against medkit when he sees fit bc he thinks it's funny

- poor hygiene. largely due to the depression. he relies too heavily on medkit to take care of him.

- he loves to dance, but almost never really finds the time to do it. medkit kinda has two left feet but subspace likes to dance with him (when he allows it) regardless

- big space nerd

- he's tender headed which, as you might guess, pairs very poorly with his poor hygiene. medkit does his best to detangle his hair gently but there's only so much he can do when he gets a rats nest in his hair

[johnslittlespoon]

fic/general updates bc i've been so quiet here, feel free to mute my yapping tag if ur just here for the brainrot posts idm one bit <3

dog coded fic ch4 is like 1/3rd done but it's a heavy one so it's taking me a bit aaa bear with me

I MADE MY FIC TAG SO SEXY i added moodboards to every single one. was this entirely self indulgent and unnecessary and an act of unintentional procrastination? yes. did it bring me joy while writing angst? also yes so

i have like 50 asks waiting for me again and I'VE READ THEM ALL OKAY and i've been losing my mind over them oh my god special mention to the anon leaving brainrot for my curtbuckbucky club au... you don't understand what you've done to me. i've almost opened a new doc so many times. i have Thoughts about what you've said and i will voice them and get back to as many other asks as i can soon!! just need an evening to lock in and sit down and reply, and there are so many fun prompt reqs to write too <3

i feel so fucking bad– i have not responded to ao3 comments or comments on my fics etc here for over a month and i reread them all so often and never want to seem like idc bc i DO they mean everything to me, literally the reason i stay motivated to write 😭💗 so i need to also sit down and go thru and reply to all of them, i just get overwhelmed by the love and sit there smiling like an idiot and then i feel the imposter syndrome and tell myself i'll reply later and the cycle repeats JDSGK <3

this week's gonna be pretty busy for me so i might still be a bit quiet, but after that i'm hoping i can get back to more regular brainrot in between writing my fic >:) me treating this like a job HSDGKJ jk i have so much fun here i rly do miss yapping all day :') anyway i think that's all, been making some edits too but i keep getting sidetracked before i finish them and i rly should be focusing on yad(iym) regardless smh! justice for pining bucky fr. but yeah if i'm ever not posting as much, just assume i'm either busy irl or focussing my energy on fic writing bc i'm so serious when i say every minute that i'm not busy irl is spent on these stupid men i'm literally plagued with thoughts of them 24/7 fml

[thinkingabout-girls]

idk like i have done research and stuff and like i think i am but like also what if. like. its all made up in my head idkkk <- has been thinking abt this for so very long (also im sending asks to u bc u r a mutual and i trust u but im too scared so u get anon asks. sorry if yhis is weird)

no cause that’s so real i get imposter syndrome about this all the time and ive been out for a year now. like what if im faking it… wait no thats stupid. one thing that genuinely changed my life was “if you were faking it you wouldn’t feel guilty/second guess yourself cause you’d be making a conscious decision to fake it”

some things that helped me were just. idk. after that initial “hey idiot there’s guys in here” you just slowly work shit out . it’s been a year and i still don’t know what’s going on. what you’re doing now is a fairly decent strategy, just find other systems and be like hey what’s up with that. and if it sounds familiar then there you go 🥳. worst case scenario is you’re wrong and like. who cares. maybe it’s something else. as long as you reach a conclusion and aren’t like. purposely trying to mislead people it’s literally fine

[dilatorywriting]

Re: the question about Grim in the fics (not the same anon, just throwing in my two cents)

I find that Grim, and mascot characters in general really, tend to be like marmite. Some people really like them, other's really hate them,

I'm more in the neutral territory. Grim is okay, and I mainly find him cute as a cat. However after a recent event in the JP server (which I shall not spoil save for this one thing that Grim does), where Grim literally rolls around on the floor and throws and honest to god tantrum like a toddler - I gotta say I can see where the "I hate mascots" people are coming from. I'm probably biased because it was in front of my favorite boy, so my view of "it's the most embarrassing thing Grim has ever done" is probably skewed there.

The point I was getting at, though, is that only including Grim when he has a decisive role to play in the story (like you're doing now) is probably the best route in my opinion. From both a writing and reading pov

I also admittedly go back and forth on Grim sometimes. Granted, I saw the new SR of him, in his robe with his lil' ears all poked up underneath and almost collapsed out of sheer cuteness, so like. There is that bias lol And I also think he's been allowed character growth from the beginning to where we are now, so I can't fault him for that. But he does, as you pointed out, frequently suffer from 'Anime Comedic Relief Syndrome.' I want to cuddle him endlessly and give him lots of treats, but like, I also wouldn't want to go on a full adventure with him necessarily. In the same way I like to cuddle my flatmate's cat, but when I have to do actual work for things the little idiot needs to be booted out of the room before I murder him

[not-gonna-lose]

Hey, uh. Kieran? If everything hurts and you're tired all the time... that's kinda serious. Chronic pain is measured by frequency, not severity. You said you'd see a doctor when all of this was over, and I'm holding you to that.

Fatigue can exist as a side effect of other things, or on its own/comorbing as chronic fatigue syndrome, or ME/CFS. The pain could be a lot of things; fibromyalgia comes to mind as Shitty Body Hurts All The Time Disorder, but you should check for autoimmune causes as well in case your body is attacking its joints.

....look. I don't talk about this as much. But a lot of disabled people I know only became disabled after a period of immense stress. Sometimes it's abuse, especially domestic, that triggers these disorders. Sometimes it's burned out gifted kids, or running for their lives, or a traumatic encounter with terrorists that they never recovered from. I know someone who... well, they were messed up by a couple Rockets for the duration of the team's existence, and after that, the ptsd sort of. migrated? I don't know how else to put it. They're on a liquid diet now because anything solid will give them severe abdominal pain.

Whether you choose to believe it or not, what's happening to you right now isn't healthy. And I don't think it's just burnout, either.

@gotta-pet-em-all

Yeah, I will... I promised a bunch of people I would already, so- Not gonna break it or anything... I don't do that... Even if I really hate hospitals and stuff...

...the anons on Atlas's blog yesterday were right, though... It's my own fault for overworking myself so much... Just- Dealing with the consequences of being such an idiot now...

I should be fine once everything's calmed down a little... Really doubt this is anything permanent- So nothing anyone should be worried about...

[madame-fear]

https://www.tumblr.com/madame-fear/757358353002446848/and-just-to-clarify-i-should-have-previously-my?source=share

I am literally not taking it at face value? I can see that it is deeper than that, I am not a god damn idiot. I expressed my irritation at the writers. I did not call him terrible or a classist. I am also a team black stan by the way. I don't hate his character, I am not trashing him or tearing him down, I am upset about how the writers handle him sometimes. I know that he is scared for his claim if more bastards come in and his inferiorty complex and imposter syndrome are tearing him up inside and that they way his mother is acting hurts him immensely. I know my characters, I know Jace and saying/suggesting that I don't is hurtful to me.

It’s okay Izzy!! Please don’t get mad, love 🥺 Prev anon already said that they forgot to clarify that the message wasn’t directed at all towards you, but rather at the Green stans and people that actually called Jace terrible things. It wasn’t for you— here is the other message !! But I understand what you mean ♡

Jace is an absolutely MARVELLOUS character. He’s intelligent, he definitely knows his place, and Jace is most worthy of being the heir to the Throne— the blood of the dragon runs through his veins. The writers have LOTS of opportunities and more scenes to add to him, I do agree that the writers haven’t been doing the best of jobs and are massacring our sweet boys 🤦‍♀️

And with Nyra, it feels the exact same. They could write her character in a better way, instead of making her hurt her own son this way. 😭 Jace is so terribly appreciated in here, in every sense— and so are you. It was just a small misunderstanding, it’s okay 💗

[peachymilkandcream]

Some belt beating please.

Levi x Evelyn -> Corporal Punishment

(A/N: Thank you so much for the suggestion Anon! I've been dying for these ideas and love doing oneshots. Any other oneshot or headcanon prompt hmu! ^^)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.

============================================

Levi had been silent the whole walk home, this was the first time he had graciously allowed Evelyn to leave the house since being confined to the house and grounds for months and she had fucked the whole thing up.

The only reason he had brought her out was because people were starting to ask questions, they were wondering what had happened to one of humanity's soldiers. People were beginning to rumour and speculate, some were more tame, like how she had married him to stay home all day but still get pay and benefits from the military. Others were out there, but still a little close to home, such as how he had murdered or kidnapped her and she was being held against her will. Granted, the latter was true. To save face he was forced to bring her out into society for just one night.

A party had been held because some officer he cared nothing about was retiring. He would have rather sat home and been balls deep in his wife but it was the perfect social event to keep people at bay. Erwin was on his side already plus most everyone knew to stay away from him and by association, his wife. And for the most part the evening had been fine, he had threatened her before they left that if she acted out he'd beat her and it seemed like that had startled her. He didn't expect her to act out in spite of it.

Things were going so well until he had gotten separated from her, which was idiotic on his part since he shouldn't have accepted to go and get her a drink. He had thought he'd just be gone a moment but then some drunken asshole started chatting him up.

By the time he came back Evelyn was talking to another soldier and from both of their expressions and the snippets he overheard he knew Evelyn had said a little too much. He couldn't forgive the look that soldier gave him when he separated the two and led Evelyn away. Thankfully he pointed out the soldier to Erwin and knew Erwin would take care of her and have her die a soldier's death before she could talk.

===========================================

When they got home, he marched Evelyn straight into the dimly lit living room, throwing off his suit jacket and tossing it onto the sofa.

"Take your clothes off."

"But I-"

"I don't want to hear another word out of you take your fucking clothes off!"

"I'm sorry-"

"Sorry? Sorry won't cover the fact that I just had to needlessly sacrifice a soldier because you couldn't shut your mouth!" He steps back and rubs his jaw before turning back to her. "You condemned that soldier to death, you know that right?"

Her eyes widen. "Wait, no, please-! Don't kill her because of me- she doesn't deserve to die-"

"I know she doesn't, but because you said something, she dies. Don't you get it? Every time you try and be selfish, someone will get hurt or die. Even now, you can't take responsibility."

"Please don't kill her Levi- I'll take responsibility-"

Levi raises a brow. "You'll take a beating for some random person's life?"

She nods emphatically, peeling off her dress since she knows he likes to see the red marks.

He takes out his belt and loops it before pushing her to the ground and circling her slowly. He finally brings is belt down on her tender flesh, she winces but doesn't make a sound. Her face set to be brave for the sake of someone she didn't even know.

He brought down the belt again, his eyes shown with desire. The way her skin rippled with each blow was addictive, the red welts left behind a symbol of his property and power. As each mark was made he almost considered branding her for a moment. He would just have to be careful nothing went wrong and it scarred up nicely and there was no infection or risk of it messing up. It was certainly an idea to think about.

His erection grew with each sound he coaxed out of her from his efforts, her being vocal made his ego swell. Since he knew whatever he did had an effect no matter how much she denied it.

Finally her skin split and a small trickle of blood dripped down, at least that would take longer to heal than the rest of it, making sure she remembered what she had done and the consequences of it. By now he was practically weak with excitement, it wasn't about seeing her in pain, it was about her being disciplined and learning from her mistakes to eventually be trained into a good wife for him.

"Tell me you love me." He blurted suddenly.

"What..?" She was confused and her voice was quiet from silent crying.

"Tell me you love me, and I'll stop."

Evelyn takes a moment to process if she's actually heard right before she frowns. "I don't love you. I hate you."

He had expected this, but part of him had wished she had lied. "Very well then." His voice had lost the slight softness it had a moment ago, hardened again before he hit her with the belt even harder than before, now she screamed, with each blow she screamed. Levi was almost glad for this, she should be in more pain for saying such a thing to her husband.

"One day you'll love me, I swear it."