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marylight098 · 9 days ago

Text

꧁Blossoming Love ꧂

Summary: It was a normal day for you: tending the garden... painting... taking care of your aunt... being the healer of your village... amongst other things. That's until you find a dying kitsune close to your village pleading for your help; in a world where mythical creatures marginalized humans and humans tried their best to live hidden from them all. But you weren't just going to leave him there to die (even if you were full of fear). As always... empathy was one of the biggest weaknesses a human could have. And sadly you were one of those humans.

Rating: 🔞 mature bruh

Couple💕: Jeon Jungkook/Reader

Tags/Warnings 🚨🗯️: Fluff and Smut, Spit Kink, Hybrid Jeon Jungkook, Kitsune, Fantasy, alternate universe, Light Masochism, Dirty Talk, romantic, Animal Instincts, Past Lives, Oral Sex, Loss of Virginity, healer of the town, human and kitsune, Painter Jeon Jungkook, Painting, draw me like one of your french girls lol, Fox, Masturbation, some choking, He loves the smell of your arousal, Creampie

Word count: 15,541

Side notes: i usually write about dreams I’ve had. This is one of them. And if you see typos or something similar… english is not my first language; sorry 🤡 Im just testing the waters here… i usually post only in Ao3…. Meh hope you dont hate it lol

Pic of JK by @jkxxth1 (tiktok)

🌸

Your hometown was small; it only consisted of a few houses and a small plaza where everybody gathered to do their activities or do festivals. All of you were part of the small percentage of humans who still resided in this world full of mythical creatures; looked down upon because of your “weak useless nature”.

But the majority of you didn't care much for the opinions of the other races. You all knew you were so much more than what they had stamped on your foreheads.

You smiled to yourself as you painted the mountains on your canvas, thinking how lucky you felt to be part of these people. But that was not the only reason you were smiling right now… you were also smiling because you could hear your aunt fighting in the background with one of your chickens because it had pooped on her balcony.

You were laughing now as your aunt kept arguing with the chicken as if she could understand her. She quickly noticed, giving you a glare. But even though she was trying to be intimidating at first, she ended up giving in with a smile.

“Don't laugh, _____. This is a serious situation.”

“Yes, auntie… it's very serious that one of our chickens shat on your balcony.” You nodded and continued laughing.

She shook her head with a sigh and a smile, accepting defeat. “Could you at least bring me a bucket of water to clean it? My ankle still hurts from the fall. You would do me a great —”

“Of course, auntie.” You cut her off, giving her a reassuring smile. “No need to explain yourself; I understand.”

“Thank you, darling.” She returned the smile.

“I'll make sure to watch over your painting so the chicken doesn't leave his… “signature” on it.” She said, side-eyeing the chicken.

You laughed once more before making your way to the village’s well.

Your aunt wasn't the type to ask for favors; she always believed in being independent and doing things for her own growth as a person, and of course so she could give her all to the family and dear friends. So on rare occasions like these, you and others close to her, were always glad to help and return all that love she had always given you throughout the years.

For you, she was a role model you aspired to be.

“Great… There is a spider on the edge of the well. And it’s a big one.” You sarcastically smiled as you kept your distance; your bucket now placed on the floor as your hands rested on your hips.

Your village was in an open area where there were no trees. But around it, a forest resided and so did the well of the village… and spiders. Which was one of your biggest fears.

You didn't want to kill it. You may be scared of them but you know they are part of nature and you have to learn to live with them.

You thought of using a stick to get it off but you knew that was just going to be chaos: not knowing where it was going to run to. And you certainly didn't want it crawling up your legs or arms.

A chill ran up your spine just at the thought.

So you just decided it was best to ask someone else for help.

Grabbing your bucket, you turned around to go back to the village.

“P- Ple -ease help m-me.”

You had only taken a few steps when you heard the pleads; the voice was not recognizable to you. It was a man’s…

With your heart almost popping out of your chest, you quickly turned around to be aware of where the man was just in case you needed to defend yourself. But…

You were faced with a pale weak man whose face was covered by a fox mask and hands were placed over a wound under his ribcage, which had and was noticeably bleeding.

“A kitsune…” you spoke under your breath.

How many hours had this man been bleeding? And why hadn't he been healed? But most importantly of all: what was he doing here alone? He was a kitsune… a mythical creature that was supposed to be with his kind right now; not here which was really far away. Was he running away from someone? Was this a hoax?

“Please. I-I’m not here to— hurt you.”

He had noticed your uncertainty and alertness.

You didn't want to believe him.. you really didn't. You were scared of what could happen and the dangers you could be putting your village in. But you could see the sincerity in his eyes that stood out through the mask. Plus he was bleeding to death, what more proof could you ask for?

Dropping your bucket once more, you hurried up to him, placing his arm around your shoulders and letting him lean on you. You were struggling obviously; you weren't as strong as a man. But you could get through. And, thankfully, the village wasn't far away.

“Than—argh!— Thank y-you, madam.” He grunted as he tried not to put so much weight on you.

“Don't force yourself to talk. And you don't have to thank me; it's immoral to leave a man to their death per se.”

Plus you don't have to address me formally either. You thought to yourself.

You could tell he wanted to say more but kept quiet.

As soon as you were back at the village, you immediately began to call for help. Only a few of them came to help since others were intimidated that he was a kitsune; it was understandable. Kitsunes were known for mischief, being playful and deceiving. But you knew that was not the main reason they were intimidating. It was mostly because of their high rank amongst you living creatures; they were known also for their riches alongside other mythical creatures.

One of the villagers saw you struggling with the injured man, so he rapidly went to his other side to help you carry him. Your aunt was also one to respond, quickly going inside your house to prepare the necessary materials to help with his wound before you got there. She also prepared the large table you had for these types of emergencies to lay him on.

“Do you need anything else, ____?” Your aunt pointed at the items she had placed for you to work with.

You shook your head. “No; it’s all I need; thank you.”

She left the room quickly with the man that had helped, knowing it would be more comfortable for you and him that way. But even so, she stayed close by just in case.

Your hands began working instantly; cleaning up the area first. There were a lot of questions in your mind and they all involved the kitsune. How exactly did he end up here? Who was following him? Who or what attacked him? Who was he?

But you reserved the questions for later; making him talk in this state wasn't a very bright idea. Right now you had to focus on patching him and making him feel less pain.

Surprisingly, he wasn't flinching as much as you thought he would be; this is definitely not his first time being injured like this. Only some low grunts and furrowed eyebrows could be seen and heard.

After cleaning up, you grabbed your well-known elixir that you used for wounds like these. Us humans didn't have magic nor any special abilities. But you did have the desire to innovate and progress.

“W-what is that?” He asked, still having some difficulty breathing.

You momentarily looked up to him, eyes more visible since you are closer now. You gulped, remembering what you were treating.

You felt intimidated for a second, remembering all those tales you had heard and moments you had seen with your own eyes where creatures like him would take advantage of your people.

He noticed.

“I a-al- mm- already said, I-I’m not going to h-hurt you.” He gulped with his eyes closed as he tolerated the pain.

“Trust me…” he opened his eyes to look at you. “I would never hurt you.” He reassured you.

And, again, you could see the sincerity through his eyes so you relaxed once more.

“This… this is an elixir I made using an old recipe my village has. It’s for curing wounds like you have. But I will have to add something else for this one.”

“Why?” He asked.

“Because I can tell this was made by another kitsune by the shape of it and because it doesn't want to close. A kitsune’s main weakness will always be their own kind.” You replied.

“How… do you k-know this?”

“Because I’m the healer of my town.” You smiled at him as you opened the other elixir. “And I've treated a few like you before.”

“Like… me?” He weakly pointed at himself.

“Yes. But those were already friends or family with the village people. We don't usually allow Kitsunes here… or any other kind of creature… you know… for safety reasons.” You nervously laughed; still trying to make peace with him as if he hadn't stated enough that he is not going to hurt you.

Again, he noticed the way your eyes immediately averted to his wounds after speaking. He didn't say anything this time; he knew he'd have to instead show through actions his words. He just remained in silence as you finished with his wound; not wanting to stare at you so much to not make you nervous… even though he wanted to; the reason why he would take occasional sneaky glances.

But he couldn't watch you finish, as he soon fell asleep from exhaustion.

Your people were quick to ask you questions in the morning, worried about the unknown kitsune at their village; except for the few mythical creatures that resided there, since they didn't feel the right to judge. And you explained to each one of them about the situation, trying to remain calm as you did to not freak them out even more. You, yourself, were also a bit worried. But you had decided to trust and have the faith that the kitsune wouldn't take advantage of your village. His sincere eyes still hadn’t left your mind; you knew they were real; you felt it. So it was better to trust your heart rather than your anxiety.

As you finished explaining to one of the villagers, your aunt called you from the balcony of your house.

“He’s awake. And he is asking for you.” She called.

You gave your goodbyes to the villager and went rapidly to your house.

“Thanks for letting me know, auntie.” You smiled as your hand reached the door handle, but it was stopped by another familiar hand.

“You sure you’ll be alright all by yourself?” She asked with concerned eyes.

“I'll be fine, auntie. I'm still going to be careful so don't worry.”

“Ok.” She nodded, still noticeably concerned but decided to trust your words, leaving the area. But letting someone know to be attentive just in case.

As you entered, you noticed him standing as he curiously inspected the medicines on your shelf, one hand pressing on the wound.

But that was not the only thing you noticed. There were scars… old deep scars on his back. As if he had received some sort of punishment. You let it go; it was not the time, place nor situation to ask something so personal. It was not like he was going to stay for long anyway; getting close to him was unnecessary.

“Well you healed quickly.” You spoke with a smile, coming closer to him. But not too close.

“And that is thanks to you and these… potions? Are you a witch?” He asked as his eyes now laid on you.

You chuckled. “No, I'm not a witch. I'm just a plain human with very intelligent ancestors who crafted all those medicines and I happened to perfect them.”

“That’s… incredible!”

There it was again: that sincerity.

You blushed. “Thank you umm…”

“Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.”

He still had his mask on. You were so curious of what was underneath, but did not want to disrespect him so you remained silent.

“Can I check your wound?” You asked him.

“Y- yes, of course.” He replied as he snapped out of a trance. A trance you had put him on since he arrived there.

He was already shirtless so you were quick to get to the wound, removing its bandages first. As you did, you became really conscious of how close you were with this kitsune, feeling his breathing collide with your face occasionally. You were trying so hard not to touch him. But it was inevitable.

“Sorry if I'm being inappropriate.” You said nervously.

“No, not at all.”

“I don't mind.” He added.

You ignored his last comment, not wanting to think it had another meaning behind it.

He just said it casually, that’s all. You repeated in your mind.

After finishing checking his wound and adding more medicine, you patched him up once again with clean bandages.

“Ok so…” you clapped your hands together.

“Good news is, you have healed almost completely; which not only has to do with my medicines, but because you are a kitsune and kitsunes heal faster if treated properly.”

He nodded.

“Bad news is… you’ll have to stay a few days more to make sure it heals completely.” You added with a sympathetic look, knowing he probably wouldn't like the idea.

“But you don't have—“

“I'm ok with it.”

You didn't get to finish your sentence; he already had the answer as if he had been expecting your suggestion.

“Oh! Ok. Ummm… Jungkook, right?”

He nodded; sparkle in his eyes as excitement ran through his veins knowing he would get to wake up to your presence.

“You can keep resting on the couch; that will be your bed for now if you don't mind.”

“I don't.”

“Perfect then let me notify the village.”

You were about to leave when he stopped you.

“Wait! Can I come with you?” He asked.

“S-sure.” You replied, taken aback by his sudden request.

“Let me take this off first.” He added as he took off his mask.

Your lips fell apart, taking in the beauty the kitsune held as he laid the mask on the couch. It was true what the rumors said: kitsunes were born with undeniable and inexplicable beauty. But it was understandable since they were born to charm. They always got their way; it was rare to see a kitsune who wasn't able to seduce or charm their target; they had a gift.

“Don't wanna scare anyone more than they already are.” He nervously chuckled as his hand ruffled his hair.

Your curiosity had been fed. And you couldn't help but to become shy and self conscious. Being around an attractive person always makes you feel nervous.

“It’s— it's ok.” You struggled to speak for a second. “They will eventually warm up to you; we’ve had kitsunes before so don't worry so much.”

As he saw your reassuring smile, the kitsune wondered if the rumors he had heard about humans were true: that they secretly possessed the ability to enchant or seduce other creatures like himself. As time passed, more and more creatures of high rank were eloping with humans to the point where it was getting normal. Things were changing, but the hate and contempt against humans was still there. And all of you knew it was going to be hard for it to leave. But he didn't care about what other people thought; he saw all creatures as equals even if they were mortals. And right now, he was ready to risk it all for you.

You both went outside to greet the villagers; you being up front and Jungkook following behind like a puppy, trying his best to make people like him.

You introduced Jungkook to each one of the villagers, also explaining the situation and why he was going to stay a few days more. It was necessary and it was also common courtesy; it was a random stranger that had entered the village and the “cherry on the top” being that he was a kitsune. This way people could be alert for any weird movements from the kitsune.

Jungkook bowed multiple times to each one of the villagers with a “thank you” and “sorry for the inconvenience”. He had already conquered the hearts of many. Not only because of his cuteness but, of course, because of his beauty. You could tell some of your friends were already trying to flirt with him. And you just couldn't help but to shake your head at them. Of course, there were always the doubtful ones that still didn't trust him. But did not treat him badly either.

The two kitsunes we had were the quickest to bond with him, for obvious reasons.

“Nice to meet you, Jungkook. I’m Jimin and this is Hoseok.” Both bowed to him and Jungkook did the same. It was a common thing between their kind.

“Glad to see there is another kitsune as handsome as us staying here too.” Jimin said, making Hoseok roll his eyes.

“He is only staying here for a few days until he gets better.” You quickly intervened.

“Oh, ok.” Hoseok said, a little bit disappointed he wasn't staying; he could feel he wasn't a bad guy. But it was understandable to him and Jimin.

Jungkook’s expression changed as soon as you said those words and both of them saw right through their fellow kitsune. They both looked at each other, knowing all too well this situation: a kitsune falling for a human. They both had eloped with humans after all.

Well at least they hoped this was the case. They truly wanted you to be happy and being taken care of; both of them knew how devoted you were with your people. So they saw this as an opportunity for all that love to be returned to you.

After Jimin’s fanboying over Jungkook, you said your goodbyes to them and ended up in front of your house once again. But before you both entered, you remembered the painting you had left outside to dry. You needed to take it inside; chickens, pigeons and kids… they were all hazards to the painting.

“Oh! Give me a second.” You said to him.

The painting had turned out satisfying enough for you to showcase and you were proud. Even though you had some interruptions while trying to finish it… you were able to finish it on time.

Jungkook’s eyes followed you as you grabbed it and went inside the house, following behind.

“Were you the one to paint that?” He pointed, as you placed it on the table.

“Yes, I did.” You smiled, proceeding to cover up the painting with a blanket to protect it.

“Then teach me how to paint.”

You quickly turned to him, mouth falling open at his bold unexpected request.

“Pardon?”

“I want you to teach me how to paint, madam.” He said, taking a few steps closer to you.

“I… I’m no teacher, sir. And you are only staying for a couple of days.” You backed up a little.

“What if I wanted to stay longer?” His eyes sparkled.

Silence.

You had a lot of doubts at that moment. A random stranger had appeared out of nowhere and now he wanted to live there. And it's not like he seemed to not have money nor a home. You could tell that he was from a wealthy family because of his clothing.

“Why do you want to stay?” You asked.

“Just a hunch.”

“A hunch?” You repeated him, and he just nodded with a soft smile, showing one of his dimples.

Kitsunes were known to be very intuitive and spiritual, and you knew this very well. But you didn't think there was any purpose in him staying here when he clearly had it all. But you also knew that was a very ignorant thought. Still… why stay here?

A chuckle couldn't help but to escape your mouth at his absurd response. “You are a wealthy kitsune Jeon Jungkook, why would you want to stay here?”

“I may look like I don't, but I prefer simplicity over luxury.”

“And how can I trust you?”

“Give me a month and I'll prove to you and your village that I am worthy of staying here.”

You took a deep breath and exhaled, fear and worry crippling on you.

It wouldn't be fair to not give him an opportunity like the other kitsunes had. And besides… if he were to turn against you all… you not only had two kitsunes as your allies, but also a werewolf, a nymph and a fallen angel. It was a weird combination you had to admit, but a powerful one.

“I’ll talk to the village. But I do not guarantee anything.”

And his smile grew into an enthusiastic grin.

. . .

“I think we were wrong about him.” Your aunt said as you both sipped some chamomile tea on her balcony, watching the kitsune before you try to convince a kid it was time to go to bed after playing with him for hours. It was a funny sight indeed.

“It's only been a week, auntie. At least my trust isn't there yet.”

“Oh, come on. He has bonded with the village so well as if he had lived here for weeks already. People love him; he has helped with so many things.''

“I find it highly amusing how you were the most defensive about him staying here and now look at you.”

The kid had now started to run with Jungkook’s mask and he was now not only trying to get him to bed, but also trying to save his precious dignity.

You snorted out a laugh, making you cover your mouth with your hand, not being able to hold it in anymore.

“Don't come at me with that poop, darling. You like him too.”

“Poop? Seriously? And I do not like him, I only find him amusing.” You shook her head at her with a chuckle.

“You know I do not curse… and you do like him; just with the smile you're making at him right now… it says it all. Maybe… even more than a friend.” She sipped the tea right after.

You choked on your tea. “I do not— cough like him like— cough that.” Eyes watering.

She just shook her head at you knowingly; your reaction was enough for her. You weren't the type to get flustered easily. “Enough with the lying and go get me some apples so we can bake that big apple-pie for tomorrow’s showcase.”

“But I'm comfy right now.” You whined.

“And you are younger than me, so get going. Just ask Jungkook to accompany you like you always do when you are scared of finding spiders.”

“Hey! I can happily go alone.”

“Yeah, and the Earth is flat. Go on now, I'll be waiting inside.” She said, standing up and going inside as said with both of your teacups.

“Ugh!”

Reality was that you did want Jungkook to accompany you. Not only because of the spiders but because you actually liked his company as much as you hated to admit. He was funny, intelligent, caring, sensitive…

What the hell am I even thinking? Remember _____, he is a kitsune and they have the ability to charm; snap out of it.

Still, it wasn't that bad to indulge in those wants… right?

“Kai! Give him the mask back!” You scolded the child.

The kid immediately stopped running and stood straight as a stick, quickly handing the mask to Jungkook.

“Apologize and go to your mother’s house.”

“But I don't wanna go to sleep! The sun is still out.” The kid whined.

“It’s setting down already so you need to go get ready for bed; mother’s rules.”

The kid whined one last time, apologized and left for his house.

“Thanks for that. That was nice of you.” He cleared his throat. “… and hot.” That last part wasn't heard by you.

“Accompany me to the apple trees and we will call it even.”

“Scared of the spiders again?” Jungkook laughed.

You began mocking his laugh. “And do you wanna talk about how a kid took your mask and you couldn't get it back?

His laughter immediately toned down. “Hey! I almost had it in my hands again!”

“Yeah, right.” You started laughing again, remembering the scene.

“Have a nice time with the spiders then.” He smiled knowingly, turning his back at you as he began to walk away.

“Nooo!” You exclaimed at him, grabbing his arm.

You didn't see it. But he was smirking while he had his back turned to you. He liked knowing that you needed him. He wished you needed him more; In all types of ways.

Where the trees resided, wasn't so far away. But it did take a bit to get there. And since the night was starting to set in, you had a little more difficulty seeing even though you brought a lamp with you.

Jungkook on the other hand didn't have any problem with it since he could see at night, he was a fox after all. For that reason he didn't take his eyes off of you, worrying you might fall. But you didn't gladly. Even though he wanted an excuse to touch you.

There were already some lamps surrounding the trees and other crops since sometimes our people needed crops during the night for emergencies or just random hunger.

You quickly began to work using a ladder to lower the apples as Jungkook stayed on the ground waiting for you to throw him the apples so he could put them in the basket. At one point an apple fell on Jungkook’s head and you couldn't help but to laugh at him as he looked at you annoyed. But at the end he couldn't resist laughing too.

After you finished, you decided to take a break close to the nearby pond, drinking some water while you were at it. But Jungkook had other plans, he wanted to take revenge because of the apple on his head.

“Oh my god, _____! There is a big spider crawling on you!” He shouted.

You gasped. “What?! Where?!”

You quickly stood up trying to shake off whatever you had on you. But then you heard Jungkook laughing so loud, tears were forming in his eyes. And that's when it clicked.

“You ass—-” But your words got cut off as you tripped on a heavy branch and fell on your knees.

“Shit, _____. Are you ok?!” Jungkook’s laugh immediately stopped, quickly going towards you to help and check on you.

You sat on the ground and you raised your skirt up till you saw the knee that was hurting. And that's when both of you noticed you were bleeding.

“Fuck. I-I’m sorry, _____. Let me cure you.” he quickly grabbed your knee regretting ever scaring you like that.

Your anger had toned down; now you were more embarrassed than angry.

“I’ll cure myself at home, it’s ok.”

“That’s nonsense when I can just save you some pain by using my powers.”

“Powers?” You tilted your head to the side with a thoughtful look on your face, not remembering anything about kitsunes being able to heal. But, again, you only knew the basics.

“Here, I'll show you.” He said as he carefully straightened your leg for you to be more comfortable.

One of his hands went on top of your wound, being careful not to touch it, while his other hand rested on the backside of your knee. And a blue light began emerging from his hand to your wound.

“It will take a minute or two, so bear with me.” he said as he focused on your knee.

Gladly you didn't feel any pain. But the adrenaline from the scare and the fall began to dissipate and you were now conscious of where he was touching. You didn't want to think of it as anything else so talking was the best option to distract yourself from your body’s reaction.

“You know your little prank is going to cost you an art lesson, right?”

“Oh, come on. I’m healing you. I’m making up for my sin.”

“Pffft.” You laughed. “Don't say it like that, it wasn't that bad.”

“Well I am trying to convince you not to take an art lesson from our week.”

“I don't know why you want them so badly. You already know how to paint. Besides, you never pay attention to my lessons; you…always… stare at my face. I don't know why.” You chuckled nervously. Recalling all the moments he would drift his attention from his canvas to you, making you feel insecure. You kind of wanted an explanation of why he did that so maybe you would stop feeling so self conscious at your lessons.

His eyes lifted up to you for a moment, as if he wanted to say something, but went back to your knee. “I… still need work and you know it.”

“True.” You responded, feeling even more insecure since he didn't comment on the “staring”.

The atmosphere had turned serious and you could feel it, mainly from him. You felt a little bit awkward because of it.

“Done.” The blue light faded and the wound had disappeared; you were completely amazed by it.

“That is amazing. I didn't know kitsunes could do that.” You said, staring at your now healed wound.

But Jungkook didn't say anything back nor did he take his hand or eyes off of your knee; you noticed quickly.

“Jungkook?” You questioned him, nervous you had said something wrong.

His eyes were trailing now to your still covered thighs as his thumb caressed where the wound used to be. And you could feel your heartbeat starting to accelerate.

Your skirt was now being lifted up centimeter by centimeter, slowly and steadily; thigh becoming bare to him before your eyes.

A broken gasp came out of your lips as his hand went up, making him look up at you. Both of you know staring into each other's eyes. The coldness of the night being ignored by your lustful warm body. Your leg was now fully exposed to him to do as he pleased. He didn't stop looking at you as his hand went up and down your thigh with a firm grasp, teasing you; getting dangerously close to your slit with some strokes.

“You still don't get it, huh?”

His head lowered to your inner thigh and began sucking on the skin.

“Fuck…” You said under your breath.

This feeling was new to you; you had never been with a man despising occasional confessions. Yes you had touched yourself, but this was different. You felt your chest fill with an overwhelming lust and slit starting to ache.

After leaving a noticeable red spot, he began kissing the rest of your thigh, momentarily licking a stripe from your knee to your upper thigh and rubbing his forehead against it, ending with a soft bite. After doing so, his eyes returned to yours.

“I stare at you because I think you are beautiful.”

“Not only because of your body but because of who you are.”

“I want to be around you every minute of the day.”

His hand was now stagnant as it laid dangerously close to your slit once more. “Be mine, ______.”

Be mine. You repeated in your head. And that's when you snapped out of it. You remembered they had the gift to get anything they wanted and for you this was an attempt to do so. So you immediately pulled your leg off of his grasp, leaving him with a confused look.

“I-I can’t.” You shook your head scared.

“What?” his eyes were now full of preoccupation as he saw you stand up and walk away from him.

“_____! Wait!” He said as he stood up and grabbed the basket with apples. But you began running, not wanting him close to you as you were scared of him and yourself.

He also began to run towards you calling out to you. He could easily outrun you but he decided to not overwhelm you and just call you from afar.

You continued running despising his calls, eyes blurry from the tears, confused on what to feel or do. It felt like an eternity running, even though it wasn't. That's until you collided with another body, you were going to back away immediately thinking it was him again. But when you were about to run away, the body held you still forcing you to look up and that's when you calmed down a bit.

“____! Are you ok?!” Jimin asked worriedly.

“I… I don't know.”

As Jimin lifted his gaze up to see what you were running from, he saw Jungkook. He was going to confront him until he noticed he was equally as confused. So he decided it was best to leave it like that until he heard you talk.

“Let’s go to my house, Erika is there too so you can talk to us.”

Hearing one of your best friend’s name gave you another reason to calm down.

You nodded.

Before taking you to his house, he gave Jungkook one last look. And he could tell he was worried and at the same time scared. And that gave him the confirmation he needed to wait it out.

As soon as Erika saw you entering through the door, her expression changed.

“____, is everything ok? Did something happen?” she worried as she guided you to the living room’s sofa for you to sit and relax.

“Darling, please bring me a glass of water for her.” She told Jimin and he instantly went to the kitchen to prepare one.

“Please tell me what happened, _____. Don’t leave me worried like sometimes you do. Give me the opportunity to help you once in a while.” Erika said, hand resting on your shoulder.

She knew you very well, how sometimes you would hold onto things to not bother anyone.

Jimin returned with the glass of water and gave it to you.

You drank up a little bit before pondering over what to say. But in the end you concluded it was best to open up to them. One, because you didn't want them to think they were untrustworthy to you. And second, because your best friend was married to a kitsune. And what could be better than advice from a kitsune, himself, and his wife on this situation?

“Erika… Jimin… how– how do you know when a kitsune is mind controlling you?” A mixture of worry and shyness was evident on you, so your eyes stuck to the glass of water to hide them.

But silence was your response. And anxiety was quick to show up.

Is the situation worse than I thought? Did they already realize who I'm talking about? Did I offend Jimin and their relationship? Was I wrong?

Your mind was spiraling with questions. That’s until you decided to look up and face them. And instead of anger or worry, you were greeted with a Jimin who was trying his best to hold his laughter in. But in the end failed.

And all that could be heard was his laughter.

“Welp… prepared to be bullied for the rest of your life.” Erika said to you.

“What?” You were dumbfounded and confused. You just wanted him to finish laughing so you could finally hear his answer.

“Pfffft, it's that what you think we do?” He just continued laughing.

“Jimin, I'm serious. Please answer me.” You grew impatient.

He calmed himself down, whipping tears off of his face. “Fine, fine. I'll calm down now.”

He sat to the opposite side of you; now you were in between them.

“Look _____, I don't know from where you got that information but it's incorrect. Kitsunes do possess the ability to charm but it's because of their natural beauty and art of seduction. It comes natural to us. And it doesn't always work on everybody. Erika… She would be an example. Remember? She was a pain in the ass to conquer.” He rolled his eyes at her.

“What can I say? I just don't give up this piece of ass that easily.” She shrugged and Jimin just shook his head at her.

Red… you were completely red from embarrassment. All this time you were only listening to assumptions from other people and anxiety instead of doing actual research. Like for fuck’s sake you had two kitsunes as you friends. But you just felt embarrassed to ask. Even so, the result was the same: embarrassment. You had learned your lesson.

“Hey… does that mean you never trusted me and Hoseok?” His eyes went into shock mode. As he slowly realized that maybe you never even considered him or Hoseok a friend.

“N-n-no… w-well—-“

“I’m hurt right now.” Jimin said standing up with a pout that was more adorable than intimidating.

“Listen to me! It was only at the beginning but as I got to know you guys I began to trust you with time. And seeing how Erika and Delilah took time to be in a relationship with you guys, then I thought: hey, they are actually trustworthy; they didn't use their powers to make them fall in love.”

“Do you understand what I'm trying to say?” You added.

“Next time just ask us, please. I know us mythical creatures have a bad reputation among humans, but I can assure you, not all of us are snob assholes.” Jimin replied and you just nodded, not able to look him in the eye from the lingering embarrassment.

“Remember, we don't bite.” Jimin’s gaze landed on his wife: Erika. “Unless you want us too.” He winked.

“You are cringe.” Erika replied to his not so subtle innuendo, making you laugh for a moment.

“I agree." An unexpected, but all too familiar voice spoke. All eyes were now on one of the open windows that looked to the balcony where a Hoseok now stood resting his body on the edge of it.

“What the fuck? You were eavesdropping?!” Jimin exclaimed.

“Yes, but that's because I saw the whole thing and got worried.”

“Wait… who else saw what happened?” You quickly asked as embarrassment began to cripple on you once more. You only remember running until you collided with Jimin. But you didn't pay much attention to your surroundings.

“Who cares? What you should be worrying about is how you are going to repay me for defamation and violation of the friend code. Try making me noodles for a week and then maybe I'll forgive you.” Hoseok said.

“Oh! I want too!” Jimin added.

“You guys are asses.” Erika shook her head but then turned her attention to you while the two men planned on how to bother you for the next week.

You had gone into deep thought, analyzing yourself and trying to decipher your feelings towards him. If he wasn't “charming” you, then…

“Do you… do you like him, ____?” Erika read your mind.

Your best friend had deciphered the situation better than you; of course, she was your best friend after all. But…

“I don't know.” you responded as you got up.

“Thank you…for everything…I have to do something now. I’ll see you later! Thank you again!” you said as you rushed out of the door.

“Where are you going-?” You heard Jimin’s faint voice just before you closed the door behind you.

You didn't answer, you just wanted to get to your destination which was anywhere where Jungkook was right now. All you wanted was to apologize even though you still felt ashamed for your previous thoughts.

Your feelings were unsure. But you were sure about one thing: you wanted him to know you were sorry and that things were ok between the both of you.

How do I really feel? The question persisted in your head as you stopped half away, pondering on it, but your feet picked up speed again down the path.

No, I had to see him, I didn’t have a plan of action but I felt after seeing him it will make sense.

Nearby you saw your aunt with the basket of apples heading to her house, which meant Jungkook had been with her. So you immediately went to her and asked if she knew where he had headed, but she also didn't know.

She caught up quickly to the situation, asking you. “What happened between the both of you?”

“N-nothing.” You brushed off as you turned away and left to keep searching for him, ears blocking out your aunt's voice.

You went to your house and searched other parts of the village but he was nowhere to be found. Anxiety had started to creep in and cloud your mind with the possibility that he had left or something had happened to him.

Taking a deep breath in, you continued down the path to the nearby onsen the villagers sometimes visit but at this time most people would be in their homes, it was actually mainly you roaming this path tonight like a suspicious person. But you needed to take a break and calm yourself.

You pushed the bushes away from your face as you peaked at the back entrance of the onsen, the sight took your breath away and stopped your heart momentarily. The sun was setting, painting the sky with warm colors, the smoke from the onsen rising into the air and into the last rays of the sun, gold tinting the onsen and the shirtless man drying his damped hair after he had taken his bath. It was Jungkook, although there was no one else in sight he was wearing his kitsune mask; his hair was in a half up do and his bottom hair was still wet. His torso was still bare; he only had placed a towel around his neck as he gazed at the moon. You could sense the sadness, even though you couldn’t see his expression. He whistled a sad melody, the sight appeared almost like a kitsune crying out to the moon for it to come out.

The shame had returned, killing your determination and making you unsure if to approach him or just leave. But the universe had other plans. Because as the thoughts ran through your mind, something else ran over your hands from holding the bushes, and of course, it was a spider.

You immediately shrieked at the spider, rapidly moving your hand to shake it off. After successfully shaking it off, you noticed the whistling came to a halt and your eyes locked on Jungkook who was now staring your way, so much for stealth.

You needed his mask more than him, to hide from the embarrassment.

Trying not to show embarrassment and reveal your racing heart as you neared him around the onsen.

“...I’ve been looking for you.” You mumbled, not fully being able to look at him fully just yet.

“Are you ok, though?” He stood up and went to you, examining the hand where the unwanted visitor had been.

You nodded and he relaxed.

“It was a spider, wasn't it?”

“Yeah…” you chuckled nervously.

He laughed but his expression dimmed as he remembered. So he backed up and went to sit in one of the benches and took his mask off putting it to the side.

“You ran away from me, I didn't think you’d be looking for me.” He said quietly.

“I know...” You replied quietly too.

“You can sit if you want.” He offered.

You thanked him and sat next to him. Your eyes couldn't stop themselves as they slightly glanced at his body, you had seen it many times before but why was it suddenly making you feel this way, as if you shouldn’t look but also can’t look away. You watched one drop of water slowly making its way down from his chest to his abs.

“It’s pretty, isn't?” he said as he looked at the moon that glanced at you both and the now hidden sun.

“Mhm…” Is all you replied as you secretly referred to his body.

“-about earlier..” He started, startling you out of your intrusive thoughts, making you blush even more.

“Ah..uh..um yes…” You stuttered.

There was a pause.

“I’m sorry.” You both spurted out at the same time. You looked at each other for a second until you both chuckled.

“You don't need to be sorry; I was the one who made you feel uncomfortable.” He smiled as he gazed at the water.

“You… you didn't make me feel uncomfortable. On the contrary… I…” You bit your lower lip as you blushed trying to finish the sentence.

“You liked it?” he finished for you; his eyes searching yours hopeful as yours shied away.

You nodded, staring at your fingers, not being able to look at him; taking advantage of the hair that fell on the side of your face so he couldn't see you blushing.

He bit his lower lip to keep his pleased smile from showing, gaze going to your legs, tempted to continue what he left unfinished earlier. But held himself back, not wanting to scare you again. So he looked away, taking a deep breath to compose himself as his grip on the edge of the bench tightened.

“I owe you an apology, Jungkook. I got scared because of ignorant beliefs.” You continued.

“Can I ask what those were?”

“I…I… thought you were hypnotizing me or…something.”

“Well that’s a compliment.” he smirked.

“Idiot.” you pushed him to the side playfully as he laughed. “I’m just happy I have other kitsunes in my life to explain stuff like this to me.”

“I’m also glad. Because if you didn't, I would've probably lost you after that.” he pushed the strand of hair that had been hiding you from him, behind your ear.

“No… I would've still come to you.” You chuckled. “You are too special to me to lose.”

Oh, how much he wanted to kiss you, but couldn't; not yet.

Your gaze then landed on his mask. “Why were you wearing your mask again? If I may ask?”

“I have a tendency to hide my face when I feel ashamed or angry.” He chuckles a little bit embarrassed. “I guess I use it to hide… my feelings and myself.” He said quietly.

You nodded in understanding; knowing the situation all too well; on your occasion, it was painting that helped you vent those emotions, turning them into something only you understood the entirety of.

“May I look at it?” You asked and he nodded, giving it to you.

You traced your fingers delicately on every feature of the mask; it was as beautiful as him.

“May I put it on?” You asked and he complied once again, never wanting to say no to you. But also because he was curious.

Placing the mask on your face you could smell his scent which made you very pleased.

You giggled. “I like it.” You looked at him, seeing he was smiling at you fondly and intrigued by you. Butterflies filled your stomach and thanked the mask for hiding your blush.

Not knowing how to deal with the emotions, you took off with the mask to tease him and avoid your feelings. “Now it’s mine!” You shouted as you giggled maliciously while running as fast as you can through the trees.

It took him a few seconds to react, not expecting at all what just happened. He wasn't surprised though, as he knew sometimes you could pass as a kitsune because of how naughty you were, especially with him and he liked that the most.

He followed behind you, not even caring to use his powers to outrun you as he was enjoying the chase and hearing you laugh.

But your running was brought to a halt as you encountered a nearby pond you had forgotten about and almost fell into it.

“Shit.” You cursed to yourself. You were about to take another route when a pair of arms grabbed you by the waist from behind abruptly, stopping you.

“Caught you! I won!” He exclaimed happily as he tried to take his mask back but you wouldn't let him.

All that could be heard was the sound of laughter as you both wrestled for the mask. At one point you lost balance and almost fell on your knees, but this time Jungkook softened the fall by holding you tightly, not wanting you to get hurt like last time.

You were about to stand up again but he went on top of you, trapping you.

The atmosphere had changed in a matter of seconds.

“I said… I won.” His voice turned suddenly low, his eyes turning lustful as they bore into you, loving the way you looked underneath him. “Now what do I get in return besides my mask, madam? Surely there must be more prizes for the winner… or does the winner get to choose? Because if so… the winner has a few things in mind already.” His eyes then went to your lips, casually licking his own.

You were flabbergasted by the situation and not in a bad way. Your eyes also went to his lips, but since you were shy, you took the mask and placed it on his face and gave him a kiss on what supposedly was his lips instead and chuckled afterwards oblivious to the tremendous effect it had on him.

“There… that was your—-“

Your mouth couldn't finish the sentence as his lips went for yours immediately after taking his mask off.

The kiss was heavenly for you. It was your first kiss so it was a little bit hard to keep with his needy experienced lips. But, even so, you found your way to reciprocate his kiss and feelings; it was something you wanted as much as he did.

You whimpered softly on his lips, making him stop and rest his forehead on yours with his eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed with his jaw clenched.

He took a deep breath and exhaled, relaxing himself. “You make me go insane, ______. You know that?”

Still on cloud 9 you just proceeded to caress his cheek and scalp. There was a brief moment of silence as he enjoyed your caresses.

“I have something for you, _____.” He broke the silence.

“And what would that be, sir Jungkook?” you playfully responded.

He laid beside you, facing you. Your eyes then went to his hand that was in a fist, blue light grabbing your attention as it went through the open spaces. Once the light vanished, his hand then opened, revealing a necklace with a little crystal jar as a pendant.

“What is that?” you asked.

“_____… I chose you as my mate.”

You sat up as soon as he said those words. You knew what that meant. It meant he couldn't be with anybody else after this, only you. Every tribe of kitsunes had their own ritual to choose a mate; you didn't know what his tribe’s ritual was but all you knew was that you were irritated by it. You never liked the idea of marrying an immortal to later leave alone to suffer for an eternity. It's not that you didn't agree with those types of relationships but it's just something you didn't want for yourself. You knew you were going to be constantly worrying about the future. Hence why you always admired Erika’s relationship by how fearless and in the moment they were.

“Jungkook, why would you do that?!”

“You already know the answer: because I fell for you, _____… and hard.” He sat up too, surprisingly calm to your reaction.

“Are you crazy?! I’m a mortal; I don't even last one century! You shouldn't have done that!” You were now standing.

Tears accumulated in your eyes, making your vision blurry. It was a reaction that even for you was unexpected; it made you realize how much you cared for him.

“What if I don't love you back, huh?! And what if I die tomorrow? What are you going to do then?!”

The tears were falling freely now. But they were interrupted by the pass of his caress.

“I already know the consequences, _____. And I don’t mind facing them.” He laid a kiss on your cheek, calming you.

“How… how are you not scared?” You hiccupped, wiping your tears away.

“Because my heart is where it belongs. And I knew from day one that you were my person; I could sense it as if… I had met you in another life; and I wasn't in the wrong.” He calmly assured you with a smile. “Now hold your hair up.”

You hesitated a bit but complied.

“This signifies my commitment to you; I want to marry you, _____.” Jungkook explained as he went behind you and placed the necklace on your neck.

“Jungkook, I don't think I'm there yet.” You shook your head and eyes began to water again; scared. But he continued clasping your necklace.

“The jar contains seven flowers. Each time you experience romantic love for me, one will bloom. Once the 7th has bloomed, that means you have fallen deeply in love with me and that’s when I'll marry you. In other words: I’ll wait for you.” He continued to clean your tears. “And even if they never bloom, and you want someone else… it will be ok. I’m not gonna lie to you, it will hurt.” He chuckled. “But knowing I'll still have you as a friend, would be enough for me.”

You couldn't understand how he was so sure after spending such a short period of time with you. You were scared for him; you didn't want him to live an unhappy life because of you and his decision.

But… At the same time, your heart couldn't resist feeling overjoyed at his words and the thought of spending the rest of your life with him.

Your hands then went to the pendant to examine it. It had flowers inside of it, seven different types of flowers about to bloom. You found it incredible how small they were; it was like a miniature garden inside of the jar.

“Can this be undone, the mate thing is only if i wear it, right?” You spoke more calmly now.

She is so cute. He thought to himself, chuckled and wrapped his arms around you, hugging tightly.

“You know... I have many things I love about you, but you worrying about us and our future, just drawns me even more." He smiled. " And no, it can't be undone because the necklace was made specifically for you; I've already committed to you to my creator: Inari.”

“Please ____, stop worrying. I've lived long enough to know that you are the only one for me. I’m going to be ok regardless; I just wanted you to know that my heart belongs to you.” He added.

You took a deep breath and exhaled, closing your eyes as your head rested on his chest; hearing his literal heart beat. You were overwhelmed and scared but you knew it was just anxiety talking. He was determined and you needed to remind yourself that he had lived centuries before you; that he had lived almost through every trial in life and that he was mature and wise enough to make this decision. You also reminded yourself that as long as you had each other, it was all going to be fine. And that living in the moment is what truly matters.

“Let’s go back before my aunt sends Jimin or Hoseok to find me; she knew something was off when I last talked to her.” You broke from his embrace. “…Or worse… Yoongi.”

“Who is Yoongi?” Jungkook asked, amused by your reaction to his name.

“He is a fallen angel and he is scary when he is mad.” You said as you walked the path back to the village, Jungkook followed behind.

“Why? He gets violent?” He asked, concerned.

“No! Not at all! He is just very strict. But let me tell you… he is very sweet under that hard shell he has and makes the best apple pie in the village… don’t tell my aunt I said that, please.” You said making him chuckle.

“Is it that good?” he asked, intertwining his hand with yours.

“Oh, yes! Wait till you try it! Yoongi has made it for me since I was little.” You squealed in excitement.

“Is that so?” he asked, intrigued but also in a trance with your beauty, like always.

And so the conversation continued to the village, without you realizing a flower had already bloomed: a Larch.

. . .

Everything was under a different light now. Every gesture, action and affectionate words were now felt differently. The feelings of love you neglected of him were now finally showing their colors, blossoming into something beautiful just like the flowers that rested on your neck.

Seven flowers… And one had already bloomed.

The second one, a Rumex, bloomed as his hand caressed your hair, both laying on your bed while he told you various stories from his childhood; one of them being how he had learned how to paint; and the others just showed you how naughty he was of a fox when a kid. All so you could fall asleep during the raging thunderstorm.

The third flower, a Spirea, bloomed when he told you how beautiful you were as you focused on your painting.

The fourth flower, a Buttercup, slowly bloomed as you both splashed each other with water in the nearby river and later on played hide and seek with the kids from your village; laughter and joy not seeming to cease.

The fifth flower, a Clematis, bloomed after reconciling on your first fight; making you understand that love isn't always perfect and that was ok. Because if the love is truthful, it is always bound to prevail over any circumstance or pride. That's what makes it so beautiful.

The sixth flower, a Sweershrub, bloomed when you saw him help an elder of the village to find and pick her favorite flowers for her balcony. Later on, bringing one for you too; one that he had found and had “thought of you” as he admired it.

The seventh flower… the last one… had bloomed as your hands cupped his cheeks and eyes went to his lips right after you had hugged him because he had finally shown you the painting he had been making; a painting where he had drawn you so beautifully as you concentrated on your own painting; it was so detailed and colorful, full of love… you just wanted to kiss him at that moment. But timidity overshadowed the courage to do so once again. And he himself had to restrict himself from kissing you as he knew very well that that kiss was just going to be fuel to the fire, and his body wasn't going to be able to be stopped from taking what it had been wanting. So he gently removed your hands and gave them soft kisses; apologizing before leaving you alone, wanting more from him; for him to love you.

“A tiger lily…” You stared at your reflection on the mirror of the vanity table, holding the pendant.

You sat there, amazed how all of them had bloomed so quickly. You also debated on when to tell him; for you it was a little bit embarrassing that your feelings were out there like that physically. For that reason you didn't always have it on your neck; sometimes it was in your pockets or as a bracelet. Although… he never paid much attention to it; he was more focused on just being with you. You did sometimes catch him looking but he would immediately look away. As if he reminded himself to not put pressure on you and just be happy that you were together even as friends.

There was a knock at the door, startling you since it was in the middle of the night. But then you remembered that Jungkook usually likes to sleep over. So you wrapped a blanket around you, not wanting your exposed skin to be seen, and went to the door to open it; revealing what you were already expecting: a smiling Jungkook with a pillow under his arm.

“I should start charging you for the overnight stays.” You joked as you walked towards the kitchen leaving him to close the door.

“But you won't because you like me being here.” He teased back as he entered, following you.

“Well maybe I don't; you always leave a mess on the couch.”

“But you enjoy my breakfasts so you won't kick me out. And I don't always leave a mess, madam.” He smiled.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Not after the over-salted eggs you gave me last time.”

“Hey! It was an accident.” He immediately started tickling your belly as punishment, making you laugh hysterically. You tried to escape his grasp but he held you from behind to not let you escape.

“Jungkook stop! I’m going to pee myself.” You laughed as your eyes watered; he grew weak as he began laughing at your comment and you took the opportunity to escape, and in that attempt to push him off, your blanket fell off, leaving you only on your satin nightgown that exposed your breasts through the fabric while a strap fell off your shoulder, making it worse for you.

As soon as your skin came in contact with the cold breeze, you realized what had just happened and gasped, backing away a bit, lifting the nightgown strap back up. You quickly looked at him, embarrassed. And you saw how his eyes had just finished scanning your body, going from your perked up breasts to your face. You couldn't take any longer the insecurities so you went to grab the blanket to cover yourself up again. But as you pulled the piece of fabric, something interfered: Jungkook's foot, stepping on it.

You stepped back, letting the blanket fall, looking at him with an arm around your breasts as you tried to decipher what he was thinking.

If a needle were to fall, it would be heard; silence and tension was all there was. But not a bad kind of tension…

He walked to you, taking extra steps as you instinctively stepped back, colliding with the kitchen counter. Even though you wanted him, it was your first time and it was instinct to hide yourself.

He removed your arm that covered your breasts, exposing them to him again. You hesitated a bit.

“Let me see you.” He stated.

Your eyes were glued to his lustful gaze on your breasts; his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he tried to restrain himself.

Softly he grazed your neck moving to your collarbone… finally landing on your breast, grasping it firmly; and without warning, his mouth went to your bud and began savoring it, despising the fabric that was in between. Your gasp was followed by a moan and slight twitch of your body as pleasure was felt.

Hearing you moan made his movements more passionate and rough, switching between breasts. He wanted to see and hear more. His sucks were loud and licks were lewd; flicking your exposed nipples and nibbling on them occasionally; all while he massaged your breasts aggressively.

As your lips parted from pleasure, he took the opportunity to collide his mouth with yours as your lips looked too pretty like that to pass the invitation. His hand then traveled from your breast to your neck where the necklace resided. And as soon as his hand brushed the chain, that's when he remembered.

His jaw clenched as he forced himself to remove his lips from yours, It took him every ounce of self restraint to complete that task. But went through it successfully, making you whimper softly from frustration at the loss of his sweet sinful mouth.

He rested his forehead on yours with eyes closed and untamed breaths as he tried to control the animal inside of him that only wanted to claim you before anybody else could.

“It was a mistake for me to come here. And I should stop coming over; it's dangerous for me and for you; I apologize.” He states due to the fact that it was getting harder for him to hold himself back, before stepping away and going towards the door at a fast pace.

“The flowers bloomed, Jungkook.” You made him stop on his tracks.

You wanted this too.

“What?” He asked, not because he didn't understand you, but because he couldn't believe it for a moment.

“All the flowers bloomed… yesterday, the last one blossomed; I noticed it today.” You smiled, excited but nervous at the same time.

He went back to you and picked the pendant, seeing every flower grown and colorful.

He smiled and lightly chuckled, placing his forehead on yours and hands on the counter behind you trapping you, relieved he no longer had to hold himself together when he was around you.

His fingers now held your chin, making you look at him. “You don't know how fucking hard was it to hold back and not fuck you like you are meant to be fucked, _____.” He said so casually; eyes physically changing and a pair of fangs now visible.

You weren't surprised by his choice of words since you knew how they behaved when they were in heat or just needy; sadly you know about this because you had to hear your friend, Erika, talk to you about her and Jimin’s sex life occasionally; more specifically when she had an “amazing night”; you always had to shut her up mid speech before you puked. But at least it helped you get to know a little better how kitsunes worked, or any other hybrid that was part animal.

His eyes… You thought to yourself as their pupil was now slit. Just like a fox.

“Beautiful…” You thought out loud, boring into his eyes; finally being able to see part of his fox side.

And that was enough to send him off edge.

“This nightgown doesn't hold any sentimental value to you, correct?” He asked.

“No, why—“

You gasped as one of his now exposed claws had cut through the middle of the night gown, ripping off the rest with his hands and pushing off the straps from your shoulders and throwing the gown to a side. You were now fully exposed to him. To you, it felt so weird to be naked in front of a man and you also felt self conscious. But the man that was in front of you was one that you deeply loved and trusted your body with; you wanted to give him all of you and you were ready to face and overcome your insecurities with him.

Your arms went to your breasts, but he was quick to remove your arms and place them on your sides, whispering to your ear, “Stop doing that or I'll tie your arms.”

He began tracing his fingers slowly starting from your hip’s stretch marks to the curve of your waist, passing your aroused nipple (making you shiver); ending on your neck followed by grasping it.

“Beautiful.” He repeated your words. “Just like imagined.”

You blushed once more; asking yourself if he had touched himself to the thought of you; the thought alone made you even wetter and wanting to hear more of what he wanted to do to you. Oh, how dirty you felt.

So the words came out of your mouth intrusively, “What else do you imagine?”

He was also taken back by your sudden loss of shyness. But reality was that, you were still scared. Nevertheless, you wanted him even so.

“Do you really want to know, darling?” The grip on your neck tightened, playing with his prey.

“Ye-es.” You almost moaned, loving his hand over your neck.

His mouth attacked yours desperately, connecting your tongues. The hand that held your throat, now positioning your head for easier access; his other hand pushed your crotch towards his so he could grind himself on you and get some relief from his aching cock.

“Go to the couch.” He broke the kiss, his loud pants overshadowing yours.

He had so much control over you; you complied so quickly. Yet, what you didn't know was the amount of control you had over him. Not only because of the smell of your arousal or your naked body, but because of the way you looked at him as if you were high on him; it was driving him nuts. He wanted to be gentle with you… oh how he wanted to. But you just made it so difficult for him… always.

Your living room had two sofas on either side of your wooden coffee table; facing each other.

He followed behind, eye-fucking your ass. He also grabbed the nearest canvas and some paints and pencils, making you curious of what he was going to do.

You stood awkwardly in front of one, waiting for him to give you instructions.

“You do not get to be shy now after you asked me what I think of when I touch myself.” He softly chuckled.

“D-don’t be an ass.” You retorted; somehow enjoying that you could still tease each other even during sex.

He chuckled again. But his expression went back to the previous one: fox eyes full of raging lust. It was like two different people.

An easel was already in front of one of the sofas since you had decided this morning to paint an idea that had come to mind… so it made it easier for him.

He placed the canvas on the easel followed by the words, “Sit.” And you complied.

He was on the other couch facing you as he grabbed a pencil.

Is he… is he going to draw me naked? You thought to yourself, only to be answered afterwards as if he had heard you.

“You asked me what I thought when I touched myself… then I’m going to show you; don't know how much self control I'll have, though.” He said sincerely as he took out his cock out of his lower attire.

You loved the way it looked with cum already dripping from the tip.

“I’m going to paint you bare before me while I touch myself.” He said, already beginning to stroke his cock, breaths of air longer and broken. “And I don't want you touching yourself, do you understand?”

You nodded, rubbing your thighs together, needing some kind of friction.

“But you are going to spread your legs.”

This is going to be hard for me to not touch myself. You thought.

And slowly, and a bit embarrassed, you exposed to him your dripping cunt.

He swallowed hard, thinking to himself that this was going to be harder than he thought. But he still wanted to show you how fucked up you made him all the time. Plus he was enjoying the anticipation before he fucked you like he wanted to.

His other hand gripped hard on the pencil as he began to draw you. He began doing the basics of the painting… your face… the form of your body… and then began adding some details. But the truth is, the drawing was sloppy since he was enjoying more tracing your body with his own eyes; admiring it; memorizing it and plotting ways he was going to fuck you. All while he was stroking himself, squeezing his balls occasionally.

He looked so beautiful: eyebrows furrowed and mouth opened as he cursed and breathed heavily while giving himself pleasure. You wanted to touch yourself so badly…

“Spread the lips of your cunt for me.” He panted. “I wanna see your hole begging for my cock.”

For you that was even more torture since you just wanted to rub your clit or have him touch you or be inside you. But you did it anyway, making him hiss and grunt as his hips thrusted forward instinctively as he saw how it was pulsating from need.

“Fuck.” He clenched his jaw.

The painting was long gone, abandoned. And all that could be heard was the sound of his moans/grunts and hand stroking himself.

This was too much for you, seeing him like that… and your slit aching for him… your fingers just slipped inside you without you noticing as you looked at him touching himself to you.

“Jungkook...” You whimpered as you closed your eyes for a second, focusing on the feeling; your other hand now touching your breast.

The crash of the easel, canvas and pencil with the floor made you open your eyes again. Jungkook had pushed it to the floor and was now moving towards you.

He pushed your back to the couch and held your legs while he aligned himself on your entrance, spitting on his cock to use as additional lube.

“Jungk—-“ you were going to protest because he was going too fast but it was already too late. His cock was already inside of you, pounding you hard.

“Shit!” You yelped as your eyes watered from the sting.

“I wont be gentle, _____.” He grunted as he pounded into you. “But I’m going to make you feel good, I promise.”

It felt so different from your fingers for obvious reasons. There was a mixture of pain and pleasure and you didn't know how to react; you were confused. But one thing was for sure: you felt full and in ecstasy with him finally inside you. And you just wanted more even on uncomfortableness.

Had you just discovered you were a masochist? Probably.

One of your hands went to his and grabbed it, guiding it over your neck. You wanted him to hold you there; you liked the feeling.

“You keep playing with fire, _____. Do you want me to break you?!”

You nodded, too overwhelmed by lust and pleasure to speak.

He cursed.

Your arm was grabbed and in a matter of seconds you were flipped over. You were on your knees, forehead pressed to a cushion by his hand on your nape. This position allowed him to go faster.

Since you were looking down, he grabbed you by your hair and positioned your head sideways.

“Don't want to miss those pretty reactions you make while you take my cock.” You moaned at his words as he thrusted harshly into you, making you yelp.

“Touching yourself and then asking me to hold you by your neck? What a dirty virgin you are. You really don't want me to go easy on you, huh?” He added.

Every word he said, your body reacted to it. And he knew by the way you were squeezing in on him, which you could tell he loved by the way he cursed under his breath.

“Such a slut… my slut.” He commented; his hand never leaving your nape as he fucked you.

He then lowered himself on you, pushing you down to the sofa, your bodies now touching as he pounded you deep. His thrusts were now more paused but each thrust was harsh and loud.

“Feels so good.” You whimpered.

“I know, beautiful.” He whispered into your ear and licked a stripe of the shell and bit it softly.

You were drooling at this point; so focused on him, his sounds and touches. You also knew for sure that your ass was going to be bruised and red as fuck after this by how hard he had be fucking you. Not only were you probably weren't going to be able to stand up tomorrow, but also sit. You were fucked. But it was worth it to you.

“I’m close.” He grunted as he picked up the pace again, lifting your ass up again; both of his hands digging into your hips; more bruises you knew you were gonna have tomorrow.

You turned your head sideways to watch when he came. But you were also enjoying how his eyes never left your cunt as it took him so nicely.

“You were made for me, _____. Your pretty little tight cunt was made to take my cock.” He panted, high on you.

Suddenly, one of his harsh thrusts came with a sharp pain on your shoulder, extending to your neck; feeling drops of a warm liquid dripping from it; it was your blood. He had bitten you as he came inside you. You were now full of his cum, scent and with a mark claiming you as his.

It was so fast that it didn't give you time to react. But the pain was still there, he could see it on your face. So he licked the area to soothe you and clean it, giving your neck and shoulder kisses afterwards. He still didn't pull out.

“Mine finally.” He said burying his nose on your neck, smelling the mixture of your scent with his; he couldn't get enough of it. He couldn't get enough of the idea that you were all marked up by him; it was satisfying.

“You ok, love?” He asked, checking your wound to see if it stopped bleeding.

“Y-yes.” You replied, still surprised by the bite. You had forgotten when Erika had told you about the bite they give you when it's your first time together; it injects the pheromones into you; marking you as his not only by smell but physically.

“You haven't orgasmed yet, right?” He asked, still inside of you, laid on your back as his breathing returned to normal.

“No… sorry; I thought that was going to be enough.” You apologize, somehow feeling guilty that you didn't come during the intercourse. But again, you were new to this. You only knew some things because of Erika.

I should’ve listened more to her even if I puked afterwards. You thought.

“Love, why are you apologizing? That is perfectly normal; please don't force anything; just enjoy my touch.” He said, finally pulling out, pleased to see that you were filled to the brim with his cum.

You relaxed at his words but whimpered as he pulled out, missing feeling full.

“Turn around for me.”

You were facing him now as he hovered over you. He kissed you… lips now more gentle but full of passion; occasionally licking your lower lip.

His hand then slipped to your cum dripping cunt, playing with your folds before going down on you.

“W-wait! What are you doing?” You quickly questioned as his head was now between your legs; still insecure of your body.

But he ignored you.

“What a pretty sight.” He almost moaned seeing your hole still filled with his cum.

“I'll paint this next, what do you think?” He smirked at you and you blushed looking away.

His thumb circled your clit a bit before spitting on it, making it easier for him to pleasure you. But he did not miss the almost silent moan you released seeing him do that.

He smirked, once more. “You really like that, don’t you? When I spit on you.”

“Can— Can you stop teasing me?!” You said annoyed/flustered and he giggled.

He chuckled. “I knew it… that look you gave me when I spat on my cock was enough to let me know.“

He gave your clit more rubs while he hovered over you again.

“Open.” He gestured to your lips with his eyes.

Confusion was evident on your face, not understanding but you still complied.

“My slut is so well mannered; now stick your tongue out for me.”

A ball of spit fell from his mouth into your tongue.

“Swallow.”

It was embarrassing for you how quickly you complied and wanted more.

What is wrong with me?

You were discovering things about yourself that you never imagined existed.

“You want another one, doll?” He asked, begging for you to say yes as he was also enjoying every second of it. He never knew he was going to like this as much as he does right now; but maybe it was just because this was another way for him to mark you.

You nodded, opening your mouth again. And he smirked.

Another ball of spit fell into your mouth. And this time he continued with a kiss, connecting your tongues.

Every touch, kiss, action… was guiding you towards your high and you were starting to feel it. And he could see it by the way you were grinding your hips on his hand.

He lowered his face to your cunt, taking a whiff of it. “So good.” He moaned before sucking your clit.

You were a moaning whimpering mess by the way his tongue was going so fast on your bud; taking a few whiffs in between as he loved the way you smelled. At this point all his lower face was covered in your fluids. And he didn't mind one bit.

His other hand was now stroking his cock.

He is hard again.

You wanted to touch him so badly too but you were about to come.

Maybe next time. You thought.

But you did have one request. “Jungkook, I’m close. I want you to— to touch my clit with your cock.”

He didn't think twice to do so, wanting to make you go crazy for him, to lose all sense of reason for him, to just think of him only him. He wanted to break you.

“Fuck, I love you so much.” He cursed loving how lewd you were when about to climax.

Occasionally he would slap his cock on your clit as he rubbed himself on your clit, making your body jolt from overstimulation.

“fu— uck, Jungkook!” You grabbed onto his arm while you rode your high on his dick.

You had come before by your own hands but this… this was way different.

Jungkook, seeing your climax, also came on you, strings of semen landing on your belly and tits.

As you came down from cloud nine, he left wet kisses on your neck and then switched to your lips, connecting them.

He broke the kiss, resting his forehead on yours with his eyes closed as he caressed your cheek with his thumb. “Finally… mine.” He exhaled in relief as if he had held his breath all these months that he was with you. Because even though he told you that it would be ok if you didn't feel the same way, reality was that he knew very well it wasn't going to be ok for him; he knew that being with you and not being able to touch you… kiss you… hold you… make love to you… or just watching you with another man… was going to be torturous and unbearable pain. But he was willing to go through it just so he could see you everyday and make sure you were ok.

“I love you.” You said to him, wanting to reassure him you weren't going anywhere and that your feelings were true.

He chuckled as he sighed. “That just makes me want to go for round two. But I know you are tired and sore already so I will save that round two for later.”

You lazily chuckled; body so relaxed…

He noticed your heavy eyelids so he picked you up bridal style and took you to your bed. The sudden gesture shocked you a little bit but later relaxed in his arms.

After he gently laid you on the bed, he left the room and came back with a damped towel and proceeded to clean you up. As he did, your enamored eyes went from his face to his beautiful body, focusing on his caring actions. But the scars of the injury you cured grabbed your full attention after. Till this day you hadn't asked him what exactly he was running from and who had hurt him; it had been four months already. There were some times where you wanted to speak about the subject, but decided not to; scared of making him remember something he didn't want to. But right now, you felt so in tune with him; like your souls had reached their peak in connecting… that it gave you tranquility; you just knew he was willing to share his vulnerability with you.

“Jungkook… what were you running from that day?” You finally asked, his eyes quickly going up to you.

He was definitely not expecting that question now but he was already preparing for it; he knew you both would eventually talk about the subject. But he didn't mind; even if it meant going back to such a miserable past. You were his and he was yours, and he wanted to share everything with you.

“My family.” He said as he kept cleaning you.

You were shocked; that was an answer you were definitely not expecting. You were expecting maybe thieves… someone who just didn't like him… or just bad people in general. But his own blood? No.

“Why, if I may ask?” You said, now sitting on the bed.

“You can ask all you want, beautiful.” He smiled, rubbing your thigh as a sign of reassurance.

“They just… didn't like the idea of me going against their— no, her word.” He chuckled softly, but there was pain evident in his eyes.

“Her?” You asked curious of who he was referring to.

“My mother, it was always her and everyone followed… my whole childhood consisted of her controlling every little thing of my life; even the way I dressed. But as i got older, I began to rebel; starting with my hobbies… that's when I learned how to paint.”

It's incredible for you how well he hid the pain and reality of his childhood when he talked to you about it. He always told you the nice memories but never the bad ones. And you could tell there were a lot of bad ones.

“I changed the way I dressed; I got piercings and tattoos… I always got shit for it but I didn't care; I could take it… that's what I always said.” He continued.

And damn does he look good… You were happy he got the courage to be himself.

“But my tolerance was cut short when she forced me to marry a woman from a well known vampire clan. Apparently she got interested in me at one of the many balls I attended. And since she belongs to a very rich and powerful clan… it was all about gain.”

He threw the towel away and went to rest beside you, laying his head on your thigh. He took your hand and placed it on his head. And you already knew what it meant: he wanted pets.

“So I ran before the wedding could take place. But she found out and went looking for me; she sent my two brothers to search for me. The commitment they had to find me was astonishing because I was already far far away when they found me. And that's… that's when my own two brothers that I grew up with, almost… killed me.”

His last two words sounded doubtful, as he still couldn't believe that had happened.

“They tried to talk it out at first but when I kept refusing… all they said was that they didn't have another choice. I was always the strongest one out of the three so that’s the reason why she sent them both. But… even so, I managed to escape and lose them.”

You wiped the tears that had not gone unnoticed by you.

“Damn, I'm crying?” He chuckled and you nodded.

“It’s ok.” You reassured and kissed his hand that cleaned his eyes.

That action secretly drives him crazy.

“I ran all I could; I remember passing a lot of trees. And then… I saw you. Even though I was in pain, once my eyes laid on you I felt that you were someone who was going to be really important to me; I could feel it; as if we had known each other in a past life. But at the same time I was doubtful; probably because my intuition was being clouded with my fight or flight instinct; but once I saw you turn back because of a spider.. I knew I was ok and that you weren't going to hurt me.”

“I don't know if to feel flattered or insulted.” You said making him snort out a laugh.

“So that spider technically made you trust me?”

“Yeah… I thank that spider every day. Because otherwise, I would’ve probably just bled out.”

That was scary just thinking about; knowing that there could’ve been a possibility where you didn't meet each other. You look back and you for the first time in your life… feel thankful for a spider showing up.

“In that case, I'm grateful for the spider too.” You both laughed.

Your fingers kept running his hair while his eyes closed, enjoying your touch like always. There was silence but it was a comfortable one. As you sat there giving him affection, your eyes scanned all his features. Still admiring his beauty as if it was the first time you saw him.

“You are so beautiful.” Those words just needed to come out from your mouth.

His eyes opened with a shocked flustered expression; he was blushing and moved one of his hands to cover half of his face as if it was helping cover the obvious blushing cheeks and ears. He always did that when he got shy.

You chuckled at his cuteness. “Too bad I'm gonna get old and won't match your youthfulness.” You chuckled again but this time a bit more sad.

His expression changed to a more serious one. “Why are you thinking like that?”

“Because… my body will change and… I won't be able to keep up with… you know… your needs.”

The harsh truth; one that had been bothering you for a while now but tried your best to ignore it; you wanted to live in the moment after all. But the problem was that you wanted to make him happy always; to please him and be there for him when he needed you just like he does for you now. You didn't want to lose that ability. Because you knew for a fact he was going to love you unconditionally but it was still going to be hard for you.

He sat now, placing a hand on your cheek. “_____, look at me. Your hair will turn gray and your skin will prune. But your smile won't change, the way you make me laugh won't change, the way you love won't change, your fear of spiders probably won't change either.”

“Hey!” You protested.

“And your way of knowing me so well… the way you have me at the palm of your hands… the way you turn me on… won't change either. All those things are what made me fall deeply in love with you.”

“Even if my ass and tits drop?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Oh my god, ____. Yes, I will love you even if your ass and tits drop.” he rolled his eyes and began to laugh and you joined.

You were in love; mad, mad in love.

“In other words… Till my end comes, you will always have my heart. Even after our inevitable parting happens, I'll never let go of you.”

Tears unavoidably fell from your eyes as you smiled; feeling so lucky and so loved. Was this the world reciprocating all the love you gave to it al this time?

“Besides, we can just make potions for stamina and endurance. If you know what I mean.” He winked and smirked.

You slapped his arm and began laughing. “You had to ruin the moment you fucking degenerate.”

“Only if it's you.” He stuck his tongue out, stopping it between his teeth with deviousness in his eyes; a playful flirty expression he tended to make.

He really never failed to make you flustered, shy or blushed even if it was sometimes corny. It was something that you knew that even if decades passed, you would still experience.

“I hope I get to see you in my next life too, Jungkook.”

“Oh believe me, I will always find my way back to you.”

And as always, that sincerity in his eyes was undoubtedly one of your biggest weaknesses. Your lips couldn't help but to reach for his.

Now the next thing was to plan the wedding. You didn't have any ideas yet. But one thing was for sure. And that was that Yoongi was going to make the pastries. It was a perfect excuse to make him do pie.

Sorry Yoongi.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook #hybrid jungkook x reader #smut #kitsune #bts #fantasy #human x kitsune #fluff #romantic #past lives #fanfic #one shot #jungkook fic

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leafofkudzu · 1 year ago

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Hello and happy impending December! The first Saturday of said impending month fast approaches, which means it's time for another art party hosted by my guild, Verdant Shield [VS]! I had been toying with the idea of a Wintersday themed party for this month, but since the holidays are a ways off still, let's instead kick back and take in the warm wintry vibes of the Zelechor Hot Springs!

For those who aren't familiar with art parties, they're a concept carried over from Final Fantasy XIV - in-game get-togethers for artists/writers/creatives of all types to hang out, chat, and create together! Get your favorite character/look together, head to the location, find someone that catches your eye, and create! Afterwards, everyone posts their creations in a shared tag (ours is #VSArtParty) so others can see, interact, and share! Tl;dr: the ‘goal’ of an art party isn’t to be drawn, but to draw others, and share with the community!

Time and /squadjoin information is under the cut, but will also be posted again via reblogs as the squads go up on the day of the party!

Location Information:

The Zelechor Hot Springs is a location that's been suggested a few times, and met this month's loose criteria for a wintry theme, so tada! It's about halfway up the West side of Wayfarer Foothills, and has a convenient waypoint literally directly at it, no mounts or funny trickery required!

This might be the most useless map image yet, but ta da!:

Time & Squad Details:

The time zone weirdness from last month has now sorted itself out, so unless you're in an area where Daylight Savings Time doesn't apply, things should be back to their normal times again!

As we always do, we'll be having two parties - one on EU servers and one on NA ones - with an hour break in between, though people often jump directly from one to the other so don't be surprised to see things running late and/or starting early!

The first party will be on EU servers and begin at 9pm Central European Time (aka 3pm Eastern Standard Time or 4 hours before in-game reset). I'll be hosting on my EU alt account, so to join either /squadjoin or whisper Aemryn of Dusk for an invite.

The second party will be on NA servers and begin at 7pm Eastern Standard Time (aka 1am Central European Time or at in-game reset). I'll be hosting on my main account, so to join either /squadjoin or whisper Zhalsi for an invite.

Closing Words:

My apologies for the slightly delayed post, and also for the strange format of the image - I'm on a trip out of the country atm and apparently forgot to bring the right external drive with all my stuff on it! But I still have computer access, so don't you worry about the hosting of stuff, I'll be just fine!

Thank you all for coming out to these, I know I don't talk much aside from fielding whispers from people wondering what's going on, but I do enjoy watching everyone have fun and make such good memories together! These events are the highlight of each month for me, for sure, and I can't wait to see you all again next week! ♥

#no wintersday theme just winter #we chill(ing in a hotspring) let's goooo #gw2 #guild wars 2 #obnoxious tourist simulator #vsartparty #📢🎨

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quinloki · 11 months ago

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Canon Characters vs OC vs x Reader

Disclaimer: This is just my two cents, and my perspective on things, and I'm not trying to lay down the law for everyone. I needed to just put this to words though, in order to sleep.

I was thinking about this because of a post I saw, and some, we'll say, kind of useless comments associated with the post. Mean-spirited stuff.

Normally, in one ear and out the other, but the vibes just kicked me off down a rabbit hole of sorts an I wanted to try to put some of my thoughts to words.

First, some style vibes:

Canon x Canon Canon/Canon stories are, to me, like reading an episode of that show. I'm sitting down in front of a TV or whatever, and I'm experiencing the story As A Viewer. I like this style because I don't really have to expend much energy and I just kind of roll with whatever's happening. Generally some sort of 3rd person perspective.

OC x canon OC/Canon stories are like being on a carnival ride. I'm sitting in a car on a roller-coaster, and maybe the OC is sitting next me. I'm experiencing the story more deeply than strictly canon stories, but my connection with the OC is no deeper than say, my connection with Katniss Everdeen when I read The Hunger Games. Sometimes 3rd person, sometimes first person.

Reader x canon Reader/Canon (or Reader x/ OC) is like putting on a VR helmet. I don't get much physical input about the "Reader OC" because I'm experiencing the story through their eyes. I don't expect the reader to be me, but there's a bigger feeling of immersion to be had. Some description might happen cause it's relevant to the story, and it's still a type of ride, I can't jump the rails on the roller coaster, after all. (Even with a VN you still follow the tracks). Sometimes first person, sometimes second person (I'm partial to 2nd person perspective, but that's just me).

I love Fan Fiction, I love it. All of it, and man even more than anything, what I love is that I'm going to dislike 80% of it. Because that 80% was written for someone who is not me. (Hell, that number's probably closer to 99% if we're looking at ALL fandoms, but I digress).

Second - The VENT:

What got me the most in the post that prompted this, was someone saying "Bring back the Mary Sue OCs!" and then they went on to describe something more detailed, and I just -

Look, respectfully, fuck you.

The point is, you're not going to be happy no matter what. Whether it's "mary sue" OCs, or x readers, or alternative universes, or a ship you don't like, you're going to find something to be unhappy about.

Cause people have been bitching about all styles of fan fiction since the first "You've Got Mail" chimed in 1991. And until 1998 and ff.net you really had to hunt for it, and until 2007 and Ao3 the idea of tagging a fic for any reason wasn't really a thing. Every click was a surprise! \o/

I just have seen the same song and dance a dozen times. It's exhausting. People become okay with OCs and decide x readers are the enemy, and before that OCs were *all* Mary Sues and cringe and people who made OCs were the enemy, and before OCs people who wrote even a little OOC were the enemy, and people who wrote AUs were the enemy, and you can write fan fic but it HAS to be Canon Compliant, and everyone MUST be in-character at all times - "They would not fucking say that" was the enemy.

Look, just please - please - in any capacity, stop it with the "All X style of story telling is crap" mindset. There's over a dozen different ways to do x readers alone. I know 20 x reader writers and I don't think any of us have the same style, preferences, or vibes.

I've had a lot of comments along the lines of "I thought I hated x readers, but I really loved this." on a few different fics I've written. Sometimes it's not the style of the fic, sometimes it's the style of the writer, and my Brother In Christ - you're going to have to read some awful shit to shuffle through the thousands of writers out there to find the vibes that resonate with you.

Ostracizing entire swathes of fan fic because you need something to be "The Enemy" so you can lift up something else, and then bitching you can't find anything new to read seems like a personal problem.

And I know y'all are scrolling by TONS of posts that don't interest you, every day, as a matter of course. So don't give me that "clogging up the tag" BS, because we deserve to be here same as anyone else in the fandom.

#quin grumbles #I'm so aggravated I don't even really know how to tag this #like almost 30 years of it I'm just so done #I just wonder what amazing stories we're not getting #cause of some fucker using Mary Sue to belittle someone #or someone beating someone else over the head with plot armor because their protag survived something terrible?#How many “Oh.” moments have been missed because someone criticized the very concept of reader insert?#I'm way past my usual bedtime so I'm just rambling at this point #and I am being meaner than I'd like #but JFC #I'm not going to let people's bullshit opinions stop me or anyone else from writing if I can avoid it.#Write what you want #gush about it #talk about it #TELL ME ABOUT IT #IDGAF if it's cringe or overpowered or broken or flawless or an OC or a reader with a name or WHATEVER #If it brings you joy #then do it #and if people are too mean to scroll by it when it's not their thing #and then complain like they're entitled to do so #block 'em.#and tell me who they are so I can block them too #then write more #cause I promise it'll bring someone else joy too

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edensflaw · 11 months ago

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What Sleep Token Has Done for My Heartbreak

I am a relatively new listener of Sleep Token, only have listened to them since August of 2023. But man, when I tell you I have fallen deep and hard for this band, I mean it. I have joined subreddits and discords, I follow tags on tumblr, and so so many instagram accounts. They're music feels so deeply personal to me. The lyrics feel like they fell out of my heart with the emotion that emits from them.

August of 2023 is also when I experienced a very traumatic separation from my now ex-spouse. They confessed to multiple acts of infidelity after trying to work through an emotional/romantic affair they were having at the time. To say I felt betrayed is an understatement. We had been together for 16 years. All of my young adulthood I was with this one person. Unsurprisingly, I fell into a heavy depression.

At first, I discovered Bad Omens. My anger was raw and all encompassing, and Bad Omens seemed to capture that so perfectly. I listened to them non-stop for a long time.

And then I came across Sleep Token thanks to Tiktok. I had listened to them earlier that same year - just once, a few songs - and I remember just feeling sort of indifferent towards them. I honestly think my heart wasn't ready to hear or feel what they were saying. I knew the pain they sang of, but I was still in deep denial about my own relationship and the pain my partner was causing me.

When I listened to them again post-separation - it started with Granite. And the lyric that hooked me - line and sinker: "If you had a problem / Then you should've told me / Before you started getting all aggressive and controlling". At so many points in my relationship I was not being told things and that led to a lot of aggression. Naturally, i tried to control things because that’s a normal human thing to do when you sense that something is changing in a way you never wanted. Like when a stack of dishes starts to fall and you, rather uselessly, put your hands out to try to catch them, stop them from breaking. Ultimately your action is useless, the dishes still break despite your efforts. And it wasn’t even a conscious effort, just a reaction. And from that point on I feel deeper and deeper into my love of Sleep Token.

The next song I remember hitting me hard is Aqua Regia. “Oh, when I am done dancing to alarm bells/No wonder my ears are still ringing/And I am done fighting off change/No wonder my arms are still swinging”. Early into our separation, when my emotions were still very much raw I would find myself still fighting with my ex in my head - talking to myself and continuing fights we would have repeatedly. Alarm bells were still very much ringing in my head and even though the fighting had stopped between the two of us, I, myself, would find myself still arguing thin air.

In a moment in my life where I felt very much isolated and alone and removed from everything that had ever felt familiar, it felt so reassuring to know somebody, somewhere, felt what I was feeling. I felt seen. I felt heard. Especially coming from such a toxic relationship where I was not feeling heard or seen by my partner.

There are a lot of Sleep Token songs that seem an obvious choice when it comes to heartbreak. Missing Limbs is one of those songs. 'Cause it still makes my blood run cold/To remember what I did before’ The person I became in such a toxic environment is not someone to be proud of. I’ve talked in therapy a lot about how I struggle with being the person I thought I was when I know I’m capable of such horrible things. The environment really does make the person. ‘The stories that you never told to me’ A lot of our fights were about their lying and their secrets. How I would beg them to just talk to me and how much they would absolutely just shut down and shut me out. ‘And it still makes my blood run thin/To remember what you are to him/And I live like I've got missing limbs/For you’ And to remember what their affair partner means to them - it makes my heart drop into my stomach and my stomach drop into my gut; it makes my blood boil and brain go from zero to sixty. And yet, even with all the knowledge I have now of just how much my ex betrayed me - it very much feels like I’m missing a part of my physical body without them in my life. I have achieved a level of peace I haven’t felt in a while and I am proud of myself for getting to this point, but even with all of that something feels like it’s missing. Like a lizard discarding its tail.

I could probably go through every Sleep Token song and break down how each word relates back to me and what I was feeling. Blood Sport, Dark Signs, DYWTYLM, the Love You Want, etc. There’s very much a theme of eating, consuming, biting flesh, etc. in Sleep Token’s lyrics. I would’ve crawled inside my partner if it meant that we wouldn’t be separated. I would have consumed them. I let my love for them consume me, mind and body. I let them consume me. I trusted them so much I bared my stomach, the most delicate parts of me, and they tore into them like a wolf that hadn’t eaten in weeks, all the while telling me they weren’t.

The emotions Vessel presents when singing, it feels like such a dichotomy within himself. There is such a longing, a yearning, for what was, what is comfortable, the love he knows he could get if he made the right (or wrong) sacrifices. The yearning is a literal pain and that pain is often mistaken for love, but for the wrong reasons.

Then there’s those moments where the fog clears he realizes just how much Sleep has wronged him, used him and that makes him so angry, and rightfully so. There’s such a quiet rage that’s just bubbling beneath the surface. And when that rage comes out there’s almost a sort of regret that comes along with that. A regret for the relationship itself yes, but also regret for the way he acted while with Sleep, and regret for the anger he feels. Vessel's relationship with Sleep feels very familiar to me and my ex.

There was a post recently by melit0n about the song Jaws. In the tags of my reblog of that post I put "And if my love doesn't love me anymore I know Vessel is capable of love and maybe that means someone can love me like that too".

But it's more than that. I loved it like Vessel does/did. I gave so much of myself to someone that didn't deserve it and was ultimately so toxic and bad for me, much like Vessel's and Sleep's relationship. Sleep is narcissistic and toxic and is only using Vessel as a means for their own selfish ends. And I very much feel like that's how my relationship ended even if that's not how it started.

Vessel's lyrics feel so deeply personal to me because I've lived them. I've lived that feeling of being so consumed by love for another being that I was willing to let it destroy me, body and soul. Vessel knows the pain and struggle I feel: that feeling of longing and yearning for something you know is no good for you and at the same time the anger expressed because how dare they use me?!

This was a very long winded explanation and I’m sure half of it doesn’t even make sense. I’ve been thinking for a long time about putting down into words what this band and their music has done for me during these months of navigating this heartbreak and putting my life back together. They’ve been such an important part of it and even if I never get the opportunity to express what they mean to me to them directly, if you’ve read this far into this already long post at least someone else maybe gets it.

Thanks for reading, friend. Because yes, if you’ve read this far and this deep into my life, we are friends now.

#personal #heartbreak #sleep token #sleep token band #sleep token vessel #toxic #relationship #break up #divorce #separation

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surplus-of-sarcasm · 2 years ago

Text

#22

Edit: I completely forgot to tag @thepenultimateword and @mirohtron for helping me with this fic. Sorryyyy, I was sleep-deprived ughh.

Yes yes, Lamy has not posted in so long. Homework and tests my belovedddddds/s. Also, I am tired, so this is what it is. Sue me, I dare you.

TW: Restraints, blood, murder, gun, knife, bullets, references to difficult past experiences, drugging mention, violence, bruises (I swear it's not that awful) and very flirty. not in any way smutty, but it's probably the flirtiest thing I've ever written.

"Well, isn't this just dreadfully romantic," Villain breathes out through gritted teeth, baring them in a sardonic sneer.

Hero twists in her restraints, a useless attempt to escape the too-tight ropes. "I'm not following," she snaps half-heartedly.

"I mean, you and I, so awfully close to each other. There's literally no space between us." He lets his voice drop down to a whisper, tone half-annoyed, half-playful. Teasing.

"That's because we're tied up together, genius," she huffs out.

"You're being boring again," the villain croons in an irritating sing-song voice.

"I'm only 'boring' because you are," the crime-fighter counters, unintentionally letting a laugh make its way into her tone.

This was her husband's miserable attempt at striking up a conversation after three weeks of actively ignoring each other. Or maybe he could've been attempting to ease the tension of being locked up, practically paralysed in Supervillain's lair, or trying to kill some time.

Still, not an apology.

He presses his back somehow even closer to hers, and she wishes she could suppress the heat radiating from her face, spreading through the rest of her body like wildfire, but at least he couldn't see the flushed, red complexion. She knows he'd enjoy that, even more than usual. He'd be so satisfied with himself, the jerk, that he'd still managed to illicit such a reaction from her, even when she was beyond pissed at him.

"Relax, will you? The fidgeting makes the ropes even tighter, and I'm already sore enough," he half-whines.

Letting out an annoyed huff, she rolls her eyes. "You moved first."

He laughs, and she hates how it makes her heart hammer erratically in her chest. "The normal amount. You, on the other hand, were squirming."

She doesn't like that tone, something akin to a melange of honey and silk, even if it was meant to annoy her. It could enchant you into a dazed silence, making you forget whatever it is you were trying to focus on. Her mind does not hesitate for even a moment to remind her of the first time she heard him talk like that, her face pressed into his chest.

"I'm addicted to your voice," she'd breathed out foolishly, and he'd pressed a passionate kiss to her cheekbone, laughing at her flustered blush.

"Couldn't the confinement have been solitary?" she interjects irritably, trying to throw in as much bite in her tone as she can muster.

He laughs again, soft and musical and breathtaking.

"Practically speaking, this isn't in your favour. It's cold, this helps conserve body heat." She can literally hear the smug grin in his words.

She lets out a strangled cry, making him snort. "However annoying you may think I am, don't forget that you agreed to marry me, Hero." He leans back, as far as the ropes let him, giving her leg a playful kick. A pathetic one though, as the fashion in which they were tied up left barely any room for breathing.

She lets out a dejected sigh. "I've been told I need to learn to have more patience, so I signed up for a life-long course. Anyway, how about you help come up with any suggestions to find a way out of this mess, or is being an insufferable prick all you're capable of?"

Harsh and not true, but he absolutely deserved it.

Before he can come up with any snarky replies, the door to their cell opens abruptly, letting in a sterile, white light, an uncomfortably blinding contrast to the dim, flickering light bulb that illuminated the tiny room. Any semblance of a joyful atmosphere is destroyed as the distinct clack of Supervillain's shoes rings in the couple's ears.

"Well, Other Villain wasn't wrong, this week's catch is rather appealing. A traitor and his little pet," they sneer coldly.

The muscles in Villain's face tighten ever so slightly as he clenches his jaw, gaze stone-hard. "The hell do you want?" he drawls coldly.

Supervillain lets out a mocking snort. "Information about the hero agency. What, you think there's more value to you than that?"

"He doesn't know anything, and I am not divulging," Hero answers, in a tone that leaves no room for further discussion.

That is, if her words were for anyone but Supervillain. The master criminal in question steps forward, the icy grin playing on their lips becoming a fraction more sinister. "Oh, but are you so blissfully ignorant of what I do to little rats like you that insist on being killjoys? I break them. That's what you do when a toy is no longer being fun. Didn't care to enlighten her, Villain?"

A shiver runs up Hero's spine at the disgusting analogy, but Villain just grits his teeth and gives his old superior a death glare. "She knows. But let's get this over with. She won't talk, so whatever sick, twisted torture you've got planned, take me, and leave her out of it."

"Have you lost your mind? There's no way in he-"

"Shut up and let me handle this," the villain snarls, cutting her off. "So you called me a traitor? Don't you think you should've noticed earlier? Or are you really as much of a fool as you look?" he croons, letting a taunting smirk find its way onto his lips.

Hero understands exactly what her husband was planning, but she wouldn't let him willingly throw himself to the wolves like a bloody piece of meat. Stubborn fool.

Before she can react though, Supervillain's hand quickly reaches for the glinting knife on their belt. They may have been intelligent, cold, calculating, scheming. But all of that was simply outweighed by a fragile ego, always in need of inflation. Their fatal flaw, if you will. They slice through the restraints, letting out a downright animalistic growl as they pull Villain forward by the hair.

Wriggling out of their grasp, the criminal's fingers claw at the supervillain's throat, only for them to slam their boot into his already bruised abdomen, warranting a soft whine to escape his throat and a filthy curse at Supervillain to fall from his lips.

Meanwhile, Hero finally manages to escape her bonds, having them loosened just a little when the man next to her had been cut free.

Two against one were better odds. Only if you ignored that the duo's muscles were completely cramped from being restrained in the same position for days, making movement painful, and they were covered in bruises. Not to mention half-starved, and their throats were parched with thirst. Weaponless against goddamn Supervillain of all people. What comforting thoughts.

Hero wastes no time in slamming them against the wall and bringing her fist to collide with the evil-doer's face, lining their cheekbone with purple bruises. Supervillain more than returns the favour, knuckles digging into a barely healing cut in her side, the sheer force of it knocking her down with a sharp hiss.

Villain's former boss had superhuman strength at their disposal, making them more than a match for their weary and battered enemies, a power-suppressing drug having been injected into their veins every single day of their stay here. That leads to the battle with Supervillain being a torturous stalemate of futile attempts at attacks on them.

"Enough pathetic, little games," Supervillain hisses, voice eerily serpentine They pull out a gun off their belt, training it on Villain's head. . .

Hero didn't know when the motion happened, when her body had suddenly moved, half-leaping into the air as the bullet tore viciously into her side. It was nothing, if not instinctual.

Villain doesn't hesitate. Fueled by an adrenaline rush and the all-consuming fury of wanting to avenge his lover, he throws himself on top of Supervillain, pinning them against the ground, prying the gun from their fingers, only moving away to empty the weapon's contents onto the master criminal, letting out a savage growl in the process.

Stepping away from the now completely bloodied corpse of Supervillain, he rushes over to his spouse, blood seeping out from the gash in her side, staining the floor a deep crimson. "Hero?" he whispers softly, voice breaking, eyes threatening to prick with tears.

"I'm fine, the bullet went straight through," she attests, as he scoops her up against his chest.

"I know how you feel about killing, bu-"

"Stop right there. I was going to tell you that I forgive you and that I've never been more in love with you. That git needed to die."

He sighs with relief, laughing in spite of himself as he races outside the door, conveniently left ajar, somehow managing to make his way to their shared residence.

He shrugs his shirt off, not even bothering to hide the terribly self-satisfied grin playing on his lips at just how rapidly it turns her face a bright red.

How embarrassingly pathetic.

"Don't think it's just the blood loss that's making you breathless, huh?" he purrs.

He was damningly stunning, and he knew it. It took little effort to leave her tongue-tied and dazed. His mere voice alone was enough to seduce her.

When she doesn't answer, his expression softens. "Let's get you stitched up." Tenderly, he lifts the now blood-soaked piece of cloth off of the wound in her side, wincing at the sight of the dull, bloodied laceration. He presses alcohol wipes to the gash, Hero letting out a sharp hiss.

Villain brings the needle close to her skin, watching as she bit down on her lips and closed her eyes. "Hey hey, relax. Eyes on me, sweetheart. It'll be fast, I promise." His free hand flits over to her shoulder, rubbing circles into it with his thumb, stopping only when he feels her breathing slow. It's strange how the same hands that beat enemies to a bloody pulp and pulled triggers on guns with no remorse could be so gentle, as though Hero was something so delicate.

"And besides, I graduated med school with flying colours," he quips, earning a soft, but strained laugh from the heroine. Carefully, he works on the stitches, whispering soft nothings to soothe her. Hero had seen worse. So much worse. But he was going to try his hardest to make sure she went through the least pain possible.

Hero deserved the world.

When he's done, she leans in closer, kissing his jawline and keeping an arm wrapped around his neck. She revels in the way he freezes up, unable to move a muscle, staring into her eyes in a look that practically screamed lost kitten.

"What is this?" He raises one eyebrow, confused.

It was her turn to smirk at his state. "Revenge, handsome," she murmurs. Her hand now reaches for his hair, running her fingers through the soft locks, and she takes in the sight of Villain short circuiting, words catching in her lover's throat, and those gorgeous, midnight blue eyes of his going wide as he lets out a nervous laugh.

The criminal was a good flirt, but much more fun when flustered, face getting warm, dark tan skin mercifully concealing what would've been a deep crimson in his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he blurts out suddenly, voice small and hesitant. So unlike that cocky persona of his that he'd adopted mere moments ago.

Hero flashes him a dirt-eating grin. "What did you say? I couldn't quite catch that, love." Liar.

"I'm sorry!" he interjects, almost irritably, but he finds himself smiling in between the words. "For not apologising when I should've, for being so stubborn for so damn long. That stuff."

His wife's expression softens, and she pulls him into a warm embrace. "I missed you," she whispers, voice light and gentle against the shell of his ear.

"Me too," he feels his touch-starved form melt into the touch, a terrible craving finally sated.

A hot bath and some more bandages later, Hero and Villain find themselves cuddling together on the couch, giggling at a well-loved action comedy movie.

As long as they were together, as long as they were both alive, then nothing on this earth could stop them, almost as though they were two forces of nature, created to always exist as one.

✨️Le Taglist: @larinzz @syberianjade @lateuplight @altu-whump @enbious-prince @astr0-mj @thelazywitchphotographer @addictedsandwhichaki @justalittlecorrupted @quaggasus @theangstyclown @vernilliom @mothmancommitsarson @starssabove

Wanna be on the taglist? This'll take you there!

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offtopic-enjoyers · 2 months ago

Note

i need murder duo pls (Ted and Schlatt)

It's a need. Romantic or platonic. I don't care.

guys,, Quesabo spent the last two days obsessively writing this on call and I really hope you enjoy it!! minors DNI!! this is an 18+ post

(EDIT I FORGOT THE CUT!! ITS THERE NOW)

Ps: Bo is praying that god doesn't exist because they're going to hell after writing this

alcohol changes people - a murder duo fic

Here are the Bo-mandated tags-> (its a lot) (bird note here - hopefully the formatting isn't too bad because Bo decided not to add them!! I did it for y'all though.)

Schlatt/Ted, Don't Like Don't Read -), Naked Cuddles, Transmasc character, Trans, Ischlatt, Ted Nivison, Trans Schlatt, boypussy goes crazy hard ngl, interrupted sex, schlatt keeps getting nervous and has to calm down, there is angst, quite a lot actually, the fluff covers it up tho, this is technically smut but I had to get some angst I can't live w out it, trans angst to be specific, they are pretty drunk, dubious consent, consent is cool kids do it, Ted is kinda mean but like in a hot way right? Right, Schlatt is insecure, author is projecting cause it's their coping mechanism, me/your mom, friends to lovers, cause I said so, fuck you, no beta we die like drakes career, I wrote this listening to Kendrick Lamar, I wrote his ALSO listening to Chappell Roan, Schlatt is a canon Charli XCX enjoyer, Tucker Keane mention!!! Lowkey amped up the smut then blueballed not just y'all but myself too wtf is going on, planned rough sex, now it's just actually loving soft sex, its giving mille and moxie, author abuses the shit out of ellipses, fuck show don't tell, using bro/dude/man lovingly, virgin ahh schlatt, cock slut ted canon, they stammer. A LOT

Neon lights graced Ted's shin as he moved around the dance floor, occasionally bumping hips with his friend who he dragged here against his will. Schlatt, however, wouldn't budge, despite his intoxication. He swayed slightly, only tapping his foot when Charli XCX came on, and those moments were few and far between. "Cmonnn, dance! It's what we're here for," Ted pleaded. "You wouldn't catch me dead doing that," Schlatt retorted, arms crossing. The music was blaring, so it was hard to even make out what was being said, relying mainly on lip movements to understand, Still, Ted persisted. "Dude.." He began, slinging his arm around the shorter's shoulders, "Not even for me? You're best friend?" Ted gave a short laugh. Online, people thought they were best friends. They, though having known each other for years, weren't actually all that close, but Ted was actively trying to fix that.

He had admired Schlatt for quite some time, specifically his work ethic. His drive to create, the passion he put into his work, all of it Ted adored. He gave a teasing pout to his friend, his breath thick with alcohol, "You're no fun," he groaned, maybe a bit too loudly, as Schlatt's eyes widened. "Get off me, dude. Just lemme drink and you can dance. I can watch from here," he shook his head, his mess of brown curls cascading over his forehead, beaded with sweat. "Oh, so you've been watching me?" Ted was slightly intrigued by this news. Was Schlatt watching him? Well, he did notice how his gaze always fell to his screen instead of Tucker's when he rambled on about some useless story he had gathered from a road trip. Schlatt's cheeks flushed, barely noticeable under the blue, pink, and purple lights. "N-not like that!" He stammered. Normally, his sharp tongue would have spat back some insult, but he strangely wasn't in the mood to do such a thing.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just the way Ted was looking at him. It was different from normal, his eyes trailing up and down his figure. It was ...Strange, but... Not unwelcome. Ted bit his lip. Has Schlatt always been this good looking? He noted how Schlatt's arms pushed up his chest, how his glasses framed his face just so. The two looked at each other's bodies, but not their eyes, still mulling over thoughts. Thoughts of each other. Newer thoughts, ones that were too embarrassing to say out loud. "I see how you're looking at me, Schlatt..." Ted murmured into his ear, breath hot against his skin. Schlatt's gaze darted to the concrete floor his foot was so nervously tapping against.

"I'm not looking at you in any of the ways you're thinking, Ted..." Schlatt grumbled, his voice low, maybe with shame, maybe with something else. "Well, what are you thinking, hm? Care to share?" Ted asked with a smirk as his hand moved down Schlatt's back to his hip, pulling him in closer. Schlatt thought for a moment Would he be willing to tell him? Willing to risk their friendship? They were both drunk; maybe it wouldn't matter in the morning. Though, his mother's voice rang in his head. He knew this was a bad idea, but he couldn't shake the thoughts forming in his mind. Of him. Of Ted. Of them.

"Ted.." Schlatt murmured. "Yes?" Ted's head tilted slightly. Schlatt paused, breath hitching on his next few words. "Can we take this back to the car?" He asked quietly, voice shaking: Ted smiled, glad to hear that Schlatt was thinking the same as him. "Of course, babe," he purred, holding Schlatt's hand as he led him out of the bar and to the curb, calling an Uber. Ted still held onto his hand, squeezing lightly. "I can't believe you're already so flustered...* Ted mumbled. "Okay, fuck you..." Schlatt groaned, head tilting back with his hand on his forehead "We'll see..." Ted stifled a chuckle as the Uber pulled up. He opened the door for Schlatt. "Ladies first!" He teased.

Schlatt froze up, standing there for a moment before getting into the car, not even looking at Ted. He knew he didn't mean it, hell, he didn't even know, but it still stung. His fingers moved over his knuckles rhythmically, trying to stay calm. His mind raced, filled with thoughts of how Ted would feel. Would he be mad? Turned off? Disgusted? His leg bounced anxiously. Ted hadn't noticed how distraught Schlatt was, only moving his hand to Schlatt's thigh, pressing lightly to stop the movement. "It's okay if this is your first time... It is, right?" Ted tried to recall Schlatt vaguely telling him that he had saved himself all throughout high school and college, but all he thought about was how his hand traced up to Schlatt's crotch, hand stopping when he couldn't feel what should be there. Ted's hand moved back a bit. Schlatt looked at him in horror before burying his head into his hands. Ted bit back a gasp. Luckily, they were at his house now. They stepped out without saying anything, not even to the driver, not until they got inside, that is.

"Are you.." Ted began. "Trans? Uhm.. Yeah," Schlatt finished, voice wavering. His thighs pressed together; eyes glued to the floor. "I'm gonna... uh... Go...Now. I'm sorry.” Schlatt stammered out, turning to leave before Ted stopped him "Wait, don't-" Ted's hand loosely grabbed Schlatt's eyes locking. "I..You're still. " Schlatt couldn't even form words; he was so emotional. This wasn't how he expected the night to go. His intoxication only added to his emotions. "Dude, we've been friends for years, why didn't you say anything?" Ted's eyes searched Schlatt's, looking for any explanation. "I thought you'd be freaked out! I'm sorry!" Schlatt repeated the last bit a few times, tears running down the sides of his cheeks. His hand pulled away from Ted's to wipe his stream of tears. "I'm not 'freaked out I'm fucking bi, dude. You know I wouldn't be weird about it" Led reassured, moving closer to him. Ted's hands met Schlatt's, pulling them away from his eyes and to his hips. Ted slowly cupped his face, Schlatt's gaze softening.

"So, are we... Uh...Cool?" Schlatt choked out, face red. "Of course," Ted sighed, smiling. "Can I kiss you?" His gaze shifted between Schlatt's lips and his eyes. *Yes..Yes please. " Schlatt nodded before the two locked lips. The kiss was unsteady at first, but grew more confident as Ted pulled him in, fingers running through Schlatt's soft brown hair. Schlatt's own hands moved to Ted's hips, pulling his body against his own. Schlatt opened his mouth slightly, Ted accepting his silent suggestion, tongues wrapping together. Ted tasted like tequila, Schlatt like Benedictines. After a few moments of this gentle exploration, the kiss broke, a small string of saliva connecting their lips. "You taste good-" they said in unison before breaking out into gentle laughter. "At least you like Benedictines.." Schlatt grinned, chest pressed against Ted's. "That I do," Ted's voice was low and gravelly, sending a chill up Schlatt's spine. "Can we go to your room now...?" He asked, a bit antsy now. He felt the familiar heat between his thighs. "Hell yeah," Ted gestured for him to follow. His room wasn't anything special, just his bed, nightstand, a shelf, and a couple boxes still scattered from his move-in Schlatt pulled off his shirt, revealing his scars. They Formed an aesthetically pleasing "w" shape, and Ted pushed Schlatt down onto the bed, lips meeting the marks. "A-a bit direct, don't you think?" Schlatt giggled.

"Yeah, but you probably are enjoying this, aren't you, you little whore?" Ted scoffed as he continued to kiss. "Fuck you, dude! You're the one who started lookin' at me like that... And besides, I saved myself, you slept around, you cock slut," Schlatt snapped before Ted nipped at him. "You gonna be a little bitch the whole time or are you gonna let me blow your back out?" Ted stood up, arms crossed "The second option.." Schlatt rolled his eyes as he sat up to slip off his pants and soaked boxers. "Jesus... We were only kissing, and that was like for a few seconds.. You got that wet?" Ted looked genuinely surprise, then pleased with himself, a shit-eating grin forming. "I didn't know I had that kind of effect over you. I'll keep that in mind for Chuckle Week..." Ted drawled.

"I swear to god, if you even try to bang me on set, I will fucking kill you-" Schlatt began but was stopped by Ted pushing him back down onto the mattress below. "Keep talking and I'll have you choking on my cock instead of your own words, got it?" Ted was more dominant than he realized. Schlatt understood that Ted wasn't even joking, and he was kinda into that. He bit his lip, nodding shakily. "Good boy. Eyes on me," Ted commanded, slowly slipping off his clothes. The entire time, Schlatt didn't dare take his gaze off of him He was enamored by Ted's slow and graceful movements as his articles fell to the floor. "What, like what you see?" Ted grinned. "Hell yeah. Jesus, I uh.." Schlatt was at a loss for words as his eyes trailed around Ted's body, his muscles, the other bit... "It's really cute seeing you like this... All flustered; god, you're getting me so hard..." Ted mused, face flushed. "Didn't expect this, huh?" Schlatt joked "Not entirely, but I can't say I'm particularly disappointed."

Ted made his way over to the bed, going down on Schlatt. His lips moved over his neck, kissing deeply with a deep growl. His hands rans up and down Schlatt's sides, nails grazing lightly. They lefts small, gentle scratch marks, hands deft and precise with their movements. Schlatt was quite small under Ted's frame, their biological differences more obvious now that they were stripped down to nothing. Ted had more body hair than Schlatt, and the hair Schlatt did have was that strange silky kind that never fills in quite right. He was slightly envious of Ted's benefits, especially with how he was teasing him right now, his boner pressed on the outside of his cunt.

"You're such a bastard, y’know that, Ted?" He spat rather bitterly. He knew it was out of Ted's control whether he was born a girl or a boy, but it still felt unfair that Ted was so lucky to have been born the way he had been. Ted, hearing this, was slightly taken aback. "W-what? What do you mean?" Ted used his arms to push himself up, now locking eyes with Schlatt's still red, glassy gaze. Schlatt moved further up on the bed, now resting on the headboard. Ted moved with him, leaning up next to his friend. "I..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I know I keep returnin' to this, but..." He sniffed, still buzzed. "Uhm... Fuck, how do I word this... Well you were born in the right body, y'know, and I.. Well, I wasn't. I know this isn't even your problem, its mine, but it feels so unfair to see you actually happy in your body. And seeing you having..Uh..Fun... Is even worse." Schlatt's hand moved across his knuckles again, one of his many coping mechanisms that wouldn't destroy his body. His voice wavered with each new sentence he formed, eyes not daring to look at Ted's. He was mad at himself for even telling this to him. It wasn't his fault, why should he care?

Schlatt brought his knees to his chest, leaning his forehead against it. Gazing down, he could barely make out what he hated most about his body. Every day, when he showered, he'd put a towel over the mirror and close his eyes and hum to distract himself while he bathed his more intimate parts. He hated looking, but at the moment, he just wanted to escape Ted's prying eyes. He felt Ted's arm wrap around his shoulder, and a small lass on the top of his head. It made Schlatt want to cry. He hated being treated like he was lesser than what he really was. He let out a shaky sob. Ted pulled him close, hand rubbing slow, soft circles on his back He could hear Ted quietly shushing him, laying the occasional kiss on his forehead in between his soft breaths. "Oh babe..." Ted took his time finding his next words, choosing them carefully. "I can't uh, say that I know what you're going through, but I know it hurts." He paused, running over his next sentence internally before he spoke. "I don't know if this really counts, but I like your body..." Ted murmured, a bit embarrassed.

He usually wasn't this genuinely sappy with people. Schlatt just sniffed, trying to stop himself from crying, though he still felt hot tears running down his unshaven cheeks. "Can I pick you up?" Ted asked. Schlatt mustered a nod, too tired to argue. Ted's arms hooked Schlatt's legs, and soon, all of Schlatt's weight pressed against Ted's thighs. He pulled him close, Schlatt able to hear Ted's heartbeat. It was slow, and listening to it, Schlatt tried to synch his own breathing with his. At first, it was difficult His breath kept hitching, and his sobs interrupted his efforts, however, Ted's fingers moved rhythmically through his hair, his lips kissing his cheeks slowly and soft. Ted so desperately wanted to say something along the lines of "I'm sorry," or "I didn't know," but he knew his friend. He knew at times like this, when he got too tired to film, or when he couldn't keep up the persona, the best thing to do was to just stay calm, and let Schlatt rest, which is what was happening right now.

Schlatt finally got his breath to a reasonable pace, his head now sinking into the crux of Ted's neck. His lips kissed along his collar bone, though the angle was awkward. Ted only giggled at this attempt. "Are you okay now?" Ted murmured, still unsure it he wanted to continue with what they were doing before. "Mhm.. Uh, thanks for that, by the way. I really appreciated it, well, more specifically you..." Schlatt adjusted his body so that now he was facing Ted, legs spread over his. Ted picked up on the subtle mood change, hands running up the sides of Schlatt's thighs and to his ass, squeezing gently. "I'm glad to hear that I helped. Speaking of helping, you mind doin' me a favor, babe?"

Ted let Schlatt's gaze shift down to his cock, Ted letting out some half-laugh as Schlatt immediately became enamored. "Yeah, I can do that..." Schlatt, still coated in his slick, lifted his body up, and then slowly down on Ted's dick, letting out a low and soft groan as he did. Ted felt Schlatt weakly tighten around him. "Fuck, you really did save yourself... You're really tight, shit..." Ted's breath left him with a shudder. Only a moan leftSchlatt's lips in response, shifting his hips around. Ted let out another deep groan as he pulled Schlatt's lips to his as Schlatt's hands ran through Ted's dark brown hair. They sat like that for a few minutes, just letting Schlatt adjust to being penetrated, something he seldomly did. "Are you ready?" Ted murmured into his ear. "Mhm. Can I lay down?" He asked quietly, as if he was nervous to upset Ted, still on edge, just barely. "Yeah, dude, of course!" He stopped, laughing at himself. "What's so funny?" Schlatt asked. The the fact that I called you dude when I'm about to fucking rail you-" Ted managed to get out between giggles, Schlatt joining in. "W-well-Fuck I can't speal wait-" He struggled to form a coherent sentence between chuckles. "I swear I don't mind, fuck" He only laughed harder, leaning back onto the mattress. "So, bro, you gonna fuck me or nah?" Schlatt teased.

"Oh okay, fuck you-" Ted rolled his eyes as he adjusted his hips and Schlatt's legs, letting his weight fall on Schlatt's stomach. *This okay. babe?" He asked, prepping himself. "Oh, fuck yeah-" Schlatt was cut off by Ted immediately thrusting into him, rather roughly. "O-oh fuck!" Schlatt moaned, throwing his head back. "God, you are so fuckin' tight, mphf-" Ted stifled a whine as he tightened around his dick. His hands moved to Schlatt's chest, thumbs running over his nipples, giving the occasional pinch. "A-ah! Ngh!" He yelped, ass pressing into the blankets below. "T-that's what I love to hear," Ted half chuckled half moaned, his cute little noises sending butterflies into his stomach. He wasn't about to admit how turned on Schlatt's moans made him. Even on the podcast, whenever Schlatt groaned at some dumb comment, in the back of his mind, Ted was always wishing it was him that could make Schlatt groan like that, to scream even. Thankfully, that day was here.

His cock moved in and out swiftly, Schlatt's drenched cunt weakly squeezing as he did so. His breath was heavy, barely containing the moans forming automatically with Ted filling his body so well. It drove him mad how good this felt. How long had he been waiting for this? 25 fucking years, and god, had it paid off. His mind was hazy as he was pumped through, unable to form any responses when Ted asked him simple questions like, "are you enjoying yourself, princess?" or "you wanna get louder?" His brain did focus on the "princess" bit though, a groan escaping him. "Y-you like that, princess?" Ted seemed just slightly hesitant to genuinely call him that, especially since it teetered on the line of a joke and misgendering Schlatt, though, he weirdly seemed into it, particularly because of how ashamed he was, but lust and alcohol changes people. "Mpf…F-fuck. Yes-yes!" Schlatt whined hand moving to his clit, rubbing rather sloppily. "God, you're so cute like this..." Ted praised, continuing, "So fuckin' adorable, sp-spread out like this for me... It's a shame I g-gotta wreck this c-cute bod-body of yours.." Ted stammered, feeling a familiar high wash over him, precum leaking out of his cock.

"S-Schlatt, I'm close..." Ted groaned, Schlatt moaning in response. "Hah-please...." Schlatt moaned "Oh god. pleasepleasepleaseplease..." Schlatt whimpered, voice quavering as he applied more pressure to his clit, back arching into the mattress. "Oh god, Ted, I'm g gonna cum! Please! Oh fuck!" He practically screamed, thighs trembling. M-me too, go on and cum, pretty b-boy!" Ted moaned into Schlatt ear. He obeyed willingly, gasping for air as he did so, chest pressing into Ted's. Tears rolled down his cheeks, some shaky sobs of overstimulation leaving him Ted slowed down, letting him catch his breath before he continued. "Y-you okay..? Did I go too hard?" Ted's hand grazed his cheek, thumb wiping away his tears. He only mustered a small headshake, signaling that Ted was in the clear.

Once he was sure that Schlatt could handle Ted finishing, he started again, Schlatt crying under him. It was a bit sadistic but hearing Schlatt cry because of him only edged him closer to climaxing, his thighs pushing into Schlatt's. "Oh-oh god I'm gonna cum! Oh god..." Ted's eyes screwed shut listening to Schlatt whine as he filled his cunt. His thrusts finally slowed to a halt, and Schlatt was a mess. His skin was flushed red, breathing rapidly and shallow. "Did I go too hard babe?" Ted let out a shaky breath as he pulled out, grimacing just slightly as cum poured out ofSchlatt and onto his bed. Fuck...." he grumbled, turning to Schlatt. "N..Maybe..." He whimpered, knees pressing together weakly.

Ted stood up, knees wobbly as he slid his arms under Schlatt's body, lifting him up with surprising ease. He carried him to the bathroom, setting him up on the sink, the rest of Ted's cum leaking into the sink Schlatt gasped at the cold of the fake marble countertop, but got over it quickly when he saw Ted turn on the warm shower water. He lifted himself off the counter, barely making his way to Ted, who helped him into the shower. They both cleaned themselves off the best they could, still inebriated. They shared a few sloppy kisses in the shower, and a few outside as Ted lent him a rather oversized sweatshirt, Schlatt drowsily digging through his bag to find himself a pair of dry boxers. He collapsed on the now clean bed, Ted changing out the blanket.

Ted slid under the covers next to Schlatt who gave him a sleepy smile. "Hey bud, you okay?" He asked, fingers grazing over his mutton chops. "Yeah...God that was so fuckin' good..." He giggles to himself, letting his lips meet Ted's, this time going for a gentle, slow, sweet kiss rather than the more passionate kind the two shared earlier on in the night. "I wasn't lyin' earlier, either... I love you-" Ted caught himself, covering up with another, less vulnerable truth, "your body. I don't mind, I might even prefer it," Ted pulled him closer, wrapping his body around Schlatt's, legs tangling together. "Okay. Well.." Schlatt blushed, burying his face into Ted's shoulder, now covered with a loose t-shirt. He smelled nice, Schlatt noted, basking in the lavender scent that laced Ted's figure. It was very lulling, already tired from his back getting blown out. Ted managed to keep himself from laughing as he heard quiet snores beneath him, as he whispered, though drunk, still honest, "I love you." Schlatt quietly smiled, humming just a bit, falling back to sleep almost instantly.

#quesabo post💜#oneshot #writing #jschlatt #schlatt #NSFW!!!#smut #ted nivison #murder duo #chuckle sandwich #trans schlatt #mlm

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longlivedelusion · 7 months ago

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🌈WIP Wednesday💅

Thanks for the tag @heytheredelulu 🥰 been slacking a bit but here's a WIP from a lonnngg fic I've been planning/working on. Which is a bit different than what I normally post *bucky, cough, bucky*

It's a Marauders era fic, post grad, with my own OC insert. Pretty excited about it, but let's see if I get it posted ever 😅

Trigger warning though: looooot of negative self-talk. Depression. Hint of s*icidal thoughts. Mentions of death. Yeah I picked a heavy one to drop, sorry, it's all I have rn 😅

Sirius didn't talk after that, after the news. As much as I tried to get him to speak, say anything, all I could hear were the occasional shift of his chains to know he was alive. I eventually gave up trying.

I sat down on the ground, the chains shifting beneath me as I moved to get comfortable. I hunched over my slowly weakening legs. Even though the Dementors kept mostly away from us, or me technically, the food we got still didn't help sustain us. We were meant to be living skeletons, just alive enough to survive and know that we would never leave. Not that we could anyway.

I looked down at my hands. These weak, useless hands. I didn't need the Dementors to feed on me to realize how badly the universe had messed up. To know they chose the wrong person to be here, to live. Just a piss poor witch incapable of dealing with a couple wizards, who couldn't even do shit to help save her friends. I took in a stuttered breath, my lungs struggling to fill, before releasing a slow breath out.

It should have been me. Not James. Not Lily. Not... Reggie. They were the heroes. They were the capable ones. Not me.

I laid down onto the damp, cold floor, eyes fixated on the stone wall in front of me. Drip. Another leak. Drip.

I don't know how long I sat there for, eyes staring forward at the water coming down from the wall. I stopped hearing the rush of the waves outside, the steady pour of rain, the occasional wails. I stopped hearing everything all together. Blink.

Two stones up and three over. It had a chip in the corner. Was that me? Or someone before me.

Blink.

My eyes felt a bit tired. Maybe I could just close them a while.

Blink.

Nothing else really mattered, anyways.

Mumbled voices. Must be the screams.

It didn't stop. They sound louder, closer.

Doesn't matter though. Probably just the Dementors feeding.

But it didn't stop. It got louder. Franctic. Familiar. Who was that? I knew that voice.

"Please, please don't leave. You can't go too, you can't-" The voice came now, clearly. It was Sirius. I had never heard him so desperate before, so afraid. "I'm sorry I shut down, please be alive, please-"

"I'm here," I said, a rasp from unuse. How long had it been since I'd last spoken? "I'm here."

"Fuck, I thought- I hadn't heard you move in a while and when I called your name you didn't answer. You- shit, I thought you were dead!" I heard him choke back what could be... A sob?

"Why are you crying?" I asked, the words falling from my mouth drily. Why are you crying over me? I wanted to say.

"Are you fucking kidding!" He shouted, or what sounded like a shout in these near silent halls. "You're the only person I have left. You- you're all I have left." He stopped, the last words dying on his lips.

James. Lilly. Peter. Remus. Re-

All of his friends, dead or betrayed.

No family. No home.

Another choked sob left his throat, "Addie-"

"I'm sorry. I'm here. I was just a bit tired is all." I said, a bit louder this time though the conviction in my voice was passable at best. "Talk to me."

I was new. I wasn't his childhood friend, it was different. I couldn't replace the gaping hole left in his heart of the people he'd lost, the family that no longer was, and those he loved who thought he and I were murderers. Killers. But I was all he had left, and he needed me.

I suppose I would have to do.

No pressure tags to some favs (and to anyone else who wants to share a WIP!!): @kayhi808 @navybrat817 @pretty-little-mind33 @drabbles-mc

#marauders #james and lily #regulus black #sirius black #harry potter oc #harry potter au #fuck jkr #wip wednesday #current wip #longlivedelusion originals

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charlottesbookclub · 2 years ago

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Clean (General Armitage Hux)

Summary: Armitage has a particularly rough day and takes a depression shower about it

Warnings/Tags: Hux-centric (no pairing), angst, stress, memories of child abuse, Hux works too much, did I mention angst?, body image issues, insecurities, maybe just very slight SH implications?, ANGST (let me know if I missed anything!)

Words: 1,162

Author’s Note: apparently I'm on a roll with producing Hux content recently! This is just a short little fic building off a headcanon I wrote about in this post. It's an idea I've had for a while and just finally wrote it down. Hope you all enjoy even tho it's super frickin angsty and kinda sad!

(oh and the lines from Br*ndol are from the Hux comic and I think Empire's End?)

The faint beep his door emitted as it recognized his credentials and zipped open for him sounded almost heavenly to Armitage. He barely made it into his chambers before he collapsed back against the now-closed door, sliding down until he was seated on the floor. He rested his arms on his bent-up knees, folding himself down as small as was possible given his height. There was a strange tightness in his throat, and not the kind caused by the unseeable grip of the damned Force. The passing thought of that frivolous magic snapped him back to himself, and he pushed up off of the floor in one fluid movement, knowing that if he slowed or hesitated at all, his exhausted body would decide that he would be sleeping unceremoniously slumped against his door.

It had been a long cycle. Or was it two cycles? How long had it been since he had last rested? He shook his head minutely, trying to clear the fog of weariness that had finally allowed itself to settle in his mind. His chambers were dark except for the pale light of the stars creeping in through the large windows. He didn’t bother turning a light on. Instead, he made his way slowly to the refresher, discarding items of clothing one by one, each seeming to represent a problem that he wished he could cast off as easily as his uniform.

First, the gloves – Ren destroying another expensive control panel. Greatcoat next – an unfortunate meeting with Snoke that left his project on a much tighter timeline than he had originally planned. One boot kicked to the side, then the other – the knowing glances cast between former Imperial officers on the bridge, sharing some joke he wasn’t privy to. His uniform top – the endless forms needing his approval and signature. The light undershirt next – the constant pinging of his comlink and datapad with requests for his time. Then his trousers – useless meetings with more insufferable Imperial veterans who just wanted to feel as though they were still valuable by giving outdated advice. Finally, his undergarments and socks – the biting headache that has been festering behind his eyes for the past… well… however many cycles it had been.

Hux reached the refresher and didn’t bother to turn that light on either. Instead, he stepped directly into the dark-tiled shower and turned the hot water to its full capacity. Normally, he limited himself to cold showers. He felt they were more effective at waking him up – or, more often than not, freshening him up since actual sleep was something of a rarity for the general. Either way, despite the fact that his rank gave him unlimited access to hot water, he rarely indulged in the luxury. Right now though, it was what he needed more than anything.

Steam filled the refresher, indicating that the water had reached a suitable temperature, and Armitage stepped under the current, nearly gasping at the shocking heat. For a moment, he could think of nothing else but the nearly unbearable warmth of the water as it coursed over his skin. When he had gotten somewhat habituated to the temperature on his body, he dipped his head into the stream and hissed as the water cut almost-scalding rivulets through his hair. After a few moments of exposure, his body became desensitized to the intense heat. He was left with a welcome warmth seeping into every fiber of his being. He began releasing tension he wasn’t even conscious of as the hot water unspooled it from his coiled muscles. His pristinely coiffed hair was soaked into damp strands, the gel dissolving and relinquishing its hold on his orange locks. For a few glorious moments, his mind was blissfully blank. He thought of nothing, simply absorbing the sensation of the hot water against his skin in the dark shower.

They always crept back in though – the voices, the thoughts. What a waste of resources. How frivolous. How useless. Hux gritted his teeth then, hearing his father’s despised voice ring in his ears: “I’ve yet to find anything that Armitage isn’t utterly useless at.” He was glad he couldn’t make out much of his body in the steam-filled darkness of the refresher. He knew his pale skin was turning a humiliating shade of pink – both from the heat and from the unwanted memories. And he was thin. Scrawny. “Thin as a slip of paper and just as useless.” Armitage pressed his fist against the cool wall of the shower, putting enough force behind it that his knuckles began to hurt. Anything to drive his father’s words from his mind. As the insults and memories faded, Hux heaved a sigh. He exchanged his fist against the tile for his forehead, the press of the cold black stone bringing him back to reality. Despite his face no longer being under the current of water, he nevertheless felt warm liquid slipping down his cheeks. He scrubbed at his face with his hand, assuring himself it was nothing but beads of condensation, and situated himself back under the stream.

He allowed himself just a few more fleeting moments under the warm water, trying to let it sap the last of the stress from his body, even though he wasn’t sure that was even possible at this point. Tension had settled deep into his bones and made itself at home there, untouchable even by the calming hands of heat that spilled over his body. Before he lost his nerve and stayed in the shower for the rest of eternity, he snapped the water off and was left suddenly shivering as the cool air of the refresher began to prick his skin. Stepping out of the shower, he wrapped himself in a robe. He caught a quick glance in the mirror, but any glimpse of his body was mercifully obscured by both the darkness and the steam collected on the reflective surface. He didn’t want to be reminded of his weak constitution now, not when he had only just banished his father’s unwelcome words.

He stepped back out into the main room of his quarters, letting the pale starlight guide him as he inched his way carefully along the trail of discarded clothing items, collecting them as he went. On his way to his bed, he placed each in their assigned places: uniform and undergarments in the chute that connected directly to the ship’s central laundry facility, greatcoat carefully arranged on a hanger in his sparse closet, boots lined up neatly next to the door. That done, Armitage allowed himself to sink into bed, pulling the covers over his chilled body. He was almost ready to give into his aching head and sore body, to just allow himself to fall into the oblivion of sleep. Then a shrill ping interrupted that futile dream. He rolled over, pulling his datapad into bed with him to check the notification. He could always rest after responding to this message.

#charlotte writes #armitage hux #armitage hux fanfiction #armitage hux headcanon #hux #general hux #general hux fanfic #general hux headcanon #hux headcanon #tw mention of child abuse #tw body image #tw slight self harm

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harfblarf · 2 years ago

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under the auspicious moon of pride month, i will take a moment to shed cringe and make a post celebrating my niche blorbos. (Uh, ambiguous spoilers involved.)

under a cut to make my derangement an optional experience

This is my penultimate cringefail loserhusband, Shion Ribellion. He's a normal, kind of lame, kind of lazy dude who got launched into a fantasy novel as the aide of the Fallen-From-Grace Big Bad of the novel "The Holy Sword", but pre the Big-Bad-ening. The guy he became-- that is, Shion Ribellion-- was supposed to die after uncovering shady secrets of his boss' past.

He is by all accounts the weirdest fuck anyone has ever met and borderline entirely useless, except when he comes in clutch in ways no one knew was an option. It's never cool when he does it its just wildly unanticipated and often painfully earnest.

He is frequently (deservedly) bullied and it brings me immeasurable joy.

He's also the originally-kinda-reluctant now-very-passionate #1 defender, supporter, and Therapist Friend to this guy, Duke Serpens. His last name is important or something but Shion exclusively calls him by his first name because courtly etiquette could bite him directly on the nose and he'd still forget about it 5 minutes later.

Don't be fooled by his delicate good looks though, this bitch is an obsessively calculated manipulator and genuinely overpowered swordsman. The only thing standing between him and falling to the dark side is Shinon's persistent sincerity and loyalty. (No, like, REALLY the only thing. Serpens had an abusive upbringing and yada yada, but the story goes to great lengths to outline how it was a broad communal failing and strong Bystander Effect that led to Serpens' obsessive perfectionism, emotional dissociation, and subsequent downfall in the 'original' story.)

Shinon's indignance on his behalf and insistent questing for Serpens' life to improve (with tasks such as: get Serpens to admit he likes sweets! Get Serpens to pick up a hobby!) is the First time anyone has cared about him as a person and while he is understandably Incredibly Suspicious of Shion to start, they like... actually communicate?? And while both sides still keep secrets, they also acknowledge that to each other. That open communication and efforts toward bonding brings them closer, and both choose to trust each other over and over again.

The story, "The Duke's Redemption", isn't tagged BL/gay, but there is very little strictly heterosexual explanation for most of their interactions. Whatever they are, it's potent. And so fucking funny.

90% of the time, Shion is my absolute cringefail husband, the first character I've truly, deeply UNDERSTOOD the appeal of a failguy:

He has no practical skills aside from basic paperwork competency and most of the time has no fucking idea what's going on. His literal only credit is an ounce of emotional intelligence and a strong (if chronically unwise) moral compass.

He's so ridiculous that Serpens, the chronic overachiever-perfectionist who has never had a friend he's honest with, makes faces like this at him:

FOR SERPENS THIS IS A LOT.

They manipulate each other endlessly, with both of them fully aware but still suckers for it. Serpens bullies Shion in ways he can't even argue against, but always toes the line and offers sincere (if stilted) compliments alongside his blunt criticisms. Shion, useless clown that he is, puppyeyes at Serpens and mysteriously this always seems to help his case.

The story frequently indulges-- gleefully, openly, and knowingly-- in ridiculous character tropes, like Serpens' tendency to literally just like escape out windows when emotionally overwhelmed, then uses them for character growth and emotional beats.

Serpens puts his Guy through Situations but always, always stands at his back to make sure he gets out safely, and by like chapter 13 half the shit he pulls to bully Shion is a thinly veiled effort to ensure his safety.

They do shit like this:

And Shion is CONSTANTLY getting up in Serpens' space unconsciously and fretting over him (despite being demonstrably and chronically more vulnerable both physically and emotionally- though in his defense he's definitely more resilient/better at bouncing back).

Multiple characters have commented on how close and casual their relationship is, to the fluster of Shion and the apparent wariness or feigned ignorance of Serpens. (He acknowledges in private how much he lets Shion get away with, but clearly bristles when he knows other people are clocking Shion's importance and unique position.) Serpens is so much stiffer than Shion that when undercover they have been mistaken for having their roles reversed (that is, that Shion is the higher noble and Serpens his guard/assistant). And yet Shion gets away with everything and Serpens doesn't even bat an eye.

Canonically they are like almost definitely not gay. Probably. And I'm okay with that because their canon relationship is REALLY good and well-paced and, I cannot emphasize enough, fucking hilarious. But in my HEART they are so in love with each other it's STUPID. I care about them more than words can say. I have so many screenshots of them. They are so stupid I would kill for them I WISH they had a proper English-speaking fandom bc I am FROTHING AT THE MOUTH and painfully monolingual so even if they DO have a Korean fanbase I cannot touch it 😭

[This has been unhinged manwha posting with harf]

#the duke's redemption #harf blarf blib blab #if literally a single other person got as hype abt these two as i am i think i would disintegrate from excitement #i love them i love them i love them #they are SO DUMB #shion especially of course #my sweet cringefail clownhusband #shion ribellion #serpens a. frashidus #that is aggressively NOT the correct way to spell his last name i almost guarantee it but im using a fanlation and. look.#we take fanlations as they are with love in our hearts #theyre doing their best #I will be this fandom on my own if i have to

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i-got-poisenality · 2 months ago

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ok actual intro post frfr bc i just realized that i don’t have one

hiya fellas! the name’s Finn but y’all can call me just about anything and i’ll be chill with that :]

i’m 16 (A MINOR) so pls don’t be creepy

i use he/they pronouns (as in “mostly “he” but idrc if you call me other things as long as it’s not ‘she’”)

i’m a trans guy, i’m ace, i’m somewhere on the arospec (probably grayromantic), and i’m gay

this started as a newsies blog (and is still mainly newsies) but has branched out to just be my theatre blog where i can be a nerd :]

my fav muicals are

newsies

tuck everlasting

hadestown

illinoise

the outsiders

crumby tag system

finn’s rambling again - non newsies posts

finn’s newsies nonsense - i’m talking (probably too much) about newsies

finn’s upsetti spaghetti - some level of vent (i will also tag vent and applicable cw/tws)

finn’s gonna fight the government - i’m encouraging revolution, let’s go

thats all i’ve come up with presently but i’ll hopefully improve with this

my aus with links to the masterposts (ask me if you wanna know anything abt them, i will explode with happy) (pretty pretty please ask me about my aus, if i don’t have anything written about the character you wanna know about i will write it upon receiving the ask)

newsies fantasy au - newsbians centric fantasy au

modern newsies au - what if sounds like lol, haven’t done any story work yet

newsies apocalypse au - crutchtrack centric mildly angsty au with a lot of splitting the party

i’ve done stage crew for 6 shows thus far and my first production as an actor starts rehearsals tomorrow as of posting this :D

i play a butt ton of instruments and write songs sometimes (i’ve never posted any anywhere but i may in the future), i also write other stuff and draw (requests welcome though no promises i’ll have the time/motivation to do them)

asks and dms always open and i love to get em

i’m a little stupid and don’t get things sometimes so pls be patient

i am smart about random useless trivia tho :D

DNI: normal dni criteria (homophobia, transphobia, racism, p3d0s, etc.), generally just dont be a jerk

one last thing, i may disappear at random bc i don’t have object permanence and i forget this blog exists

yeah, i think that’s it, welcome to my blog :D

#intro post #finn’s rambling again

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rewordthis · 5 months ago

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Let me tell you why…

I am a) fucking upset about wikipedia the past 4 years and b) RAGING MAD right now!💥🌪️💥

a) First of all, I don’t know what most people use wikipedia nowadays but before 2020 I personally used it for verified information on mostly anime as well as other various topics. Let me explain the anime aspect a bit more though...

Back in my noob years, I would download to watch anime on my pc because connection was shit to load on an online site, which unfortunately sometimes led to watching things that left me baffled at best and horrified at worst. I had nightmares.

After the 3rd time this occurred, I resulted in checking wikipedia for genres and a general overlook of the main story of whatever I wanted to watch. Helped greatly— even helped me make watching lists depending on release dates etc. Everything peachy!

But after 2020… bloody fuck! What happened??? Every plot section always ends with the story’s conclusion stated flat out there for everyone to read — like an ass hanging out from a ripped pantsu!!! — and get the spoilers spit in their face… I mean, WHAT?! I never encountered this thing before! Why are the contributors feeling the need to fuck up your enjoyment? Is it revenge for being shut-ins during covid? Are authors replaced by the malign trolls that we had in the fandom since times immemorial? Was I too lucky to never encounter this (which I highly doubt considering all the anime researches I have done on the site!)? Which is it? This sucks majorly and I’m absolutely seething with how this particular side (anime media/entertainment) of the internet has become. I. HATE. IT..— 😤

b) And second of all, this is a recurring problem INSIDE fandom! I am 97% sure it’s the covid that let dicks sorry I meant people who normally wouldn’t bother with anime and fandom to take a swing at it and then invade platforms with tons of reposts of ‘sophisticated’ verbatim recounts of every chapter and every episode of every goddamn manga and anime that exists! What meta and shit? Make an actual observation first! Add something! Define something! IN YOUR WORDS! IN YOUR ART! And THEN call it meta!!! Also, here more specifically, I’m sick of seeing the same manga panel 278 times with just thirst captions being changed… Ya’ll are horny! We get it! Just put that one stupid panel up with as many deranged tags you like and let everybody else reblog it with their own! Jeez~ It’s so hard to find an art or an actual original post about something in all that mess! >:E

And the YouTube! Oh the goddamned YouTube! Who the heck wants to waste 27’ of their time to watch “The Smarts of Gojo Satoru you didn’t realise” or “How Trigun’s Vash is an incredible character” blah blah blah??? Get over yourselves! I have my own answers and observations and besides— who told you you are ‘right’ in the first place to educate me?! I want AMVs, dammit! I want slash ships and fics and ARTS!!! Not useless regurgitations of the same ONE CANON thing! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! GRAHHH!!!👿

BTW, the actual analyses that do provide info and insights — yes, those still exist — are just SO buried under all of the debris of trash and misinformation that finding anything is a miracle. _(:3 」∠)_

And a bonus for those that read this far… this has to be the most freaking braindead shit I have read my whole life…

Tell me you’re missing the point without telling me you’re missing the point…

Well. duh! The creator MADE him that way! Bruh…

Also, yeah. You guessed it. I got spoiler-ed for the Trigun ending, too! No matter what, JJK continues being an unavoidable pest also. Grrr… Anime onlys just can’t get a break— not even outside fandom anymore and thus THIS IS SO ANNOYING! (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

I SUPORT KNIVES ON HIS ENDEAVOURS! WIPE THE DAMN UNIVERSE, MY BOY!!!

#fandom talk #wikipedia #anime #manga #internet #i am biting today!#>:E #grrr

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stormcrow513 · 5 months ago

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Yeah it really wasn't at all directed at you, I only learned about gaiman like a week ago and poking into it on and off cause it is pretty personally triggering for me, so I'd been wanting to write down some thoughts I'd been having from what I'd been picking up and I saw your reblog it brought to mind some things I wanted to talk out and I just did, and didn't really think it through to much, I also typically reread what I write but this time I just posted, so thanks for giving me a chance to opps my bad, I really love your blog you always bring attention to things I might not have heard about,

I definitely get what you're saying, people can get a little weird about things they love in a way I too find baffling,

Though I am a little weird here because I don't have a favorite book/movie/ect I have a current obsession and past obsessions I will cycle back to at some, so I don't hold anything up as this is the pinnacle of literature/cinema and find it confusing when people do,

I also didn't read harry when everyone else did, reading was not easy for me and I wasn't helped like at all, as an adult I think I likely have some form of learning disability or maybe lasting head trauma, so I'd look at the thickness of those books even the smallest and resented the hell out of them I thought I'd never be able to read them, fast forward to when I was like 19 and watching the movies with my ma and I was like you know what I should read the books,

And I did and I enjoyed them a lot, i caught some shit that was not great but quite a bit flew over my head, I didn't know at that time about antisemitism outside the Holocaust so Goblins as bankers didn't ping anything for me I thought the way Goblins were treated in the world of the story was completely fucked up and was pissed that it was never addressed but didn't see the underlying antisemitism until someone on here outlined it and I did further research,

And fat phobia was so common in my house that it didn't click either, I was always chubbier then my sister's and mocked for it by them and the sperm donor and told I couldn't take a joke if I cried, so yeah I didn't see it as messed up it was just normal to me,

I mostly locked on to harry because I got him, the first book when he talks about not being allowed to ask questions I went oh you too? When he'd do things without and around adults I was like yes I get it adults that aren't ma are useless,

Cue me reading fanfiction that calls out the abuse harry goes through and I was like

And for then on I read more harry fanfiction and I'm not sure I even reread the books again afterwards so my attachment was probably more for the fanfiction and watching the movies with my ma then the books themselves

So I kinda come at all of this at a weird angle,

And I'd dig through the HP tags on here and I stumbled a lot on people specifically being nasty about people like this kids book and saying so while for one example having like every transformers action figure and show/movie ever invented

And it's something I repeatedly see people who bring up that 'how can you stand that shitty book it's for children' while they themselves have something they love that was made for kids and saying out right that there is nothing wrong with still enjoying kids stuff into adulthood,

Like I totally get saying HP is bad because XYZ harmful thing and therefore no one should give jk support or attention

Or I didn't enjoy it because XYZ writing choices are objectively bad

But I don't get saying HP is bad cause it's a kids book

Especially if you in fact like other kids books you prefer the writing style of

Like it just literally confuses the hell out of me

And I've been wondering in a more analytical way if it plays into the current situation with gaiman and the reactions people are having at all

Because his books are for adults

So there isn't that 'well what are you doing still enjoying his work at your age' angle that was brought up a lot with jk

I see a lot of parallels between these situations

I am seeing people once again bringing up the can you death of the author an author that's still alive

And last time people rightly said 'what?! no, not when the author is alive and using their money to actively harm people'

And gaiman is also alive and using his money to hurt people

Yes there is 'only' so many people one man and personally rape, compared to the amount of people that are being hurt by jks funding of bills

But every time a rapist gets away with zero consequences it hurts every survivor of rape

the women he raped being called liars

and every one of us that lives every single day knowing the person that hurt us is still out there still hurting people living their best fucking life while we struggle and struggle.

And I wanted to talk about that,

Especially because I've also seen terfs grabbing at this as another opportunity for a recruitment drive 'see all men are evil'

And boy does that piss me off I am very very protective of my fellow rape survivors women, men, cis, transgender, gender non-conforming ect.

With jk I shut up and listened because I wasn't one of her victims

This time is different

And as to your last part about trying to decide if you want to get rid of his books

that's a thing I think people need to butt out of, that's your decision

the books are already bought getting rid of them won't take the money back

It's down to your comfort because owning them in the privacy of your own home doesn't't cause anybody else any hurt,

We each have to decide what to do with our already purchased things, that's an individual choice that nobody should shame anybody else over

Neil Gaiman is still following the PR playbook

I'm so sick of how Neil Gaiman is continuing to manipulate the conversation while displaying ZERO accountability or remorse.

Do you think him leaking that he's apparently offering to step back from Good Omens Season 3 is a sign that he realizes he fucked up and is trying to make it right? Absolutely not.

What he's doing is making the first moves to launder his reputation so that he can keep making money off of his IP and, eventually, return to the spotlight. All of the overjoyed reactions here and elsewhere are part of that plan.

One part of that Deadline article really stuck out to me.

[Highlighted Text: Deadline understands Gaiman’s offer is not an admission of wrongdoing...

Gaiman’s position is that he denies the allegations and is said to be disturbed by them.]

This is what makes me think that it is actively irresponsible to publicly celebrate or advocate for the continuation of any media project that involves or enriches Gaiman. The fact that Amazon has even announced that Good Omens is on hold shows the credibility of the accusations. And yet Gaiman leaking this information suddenly puts them on the backfoot. "Just take the deal!" cries the fandom. Neil is no longer the bad guy, it's Amazon who are now denying you your comfort show. It's blatant manipulation and it sickens me that it might actually work.

Boosting Good Omens or Sandman or Coraline at this time is not a victimless crime. True, no one person is going to be the difference between Gaiman facing consequences or not. But it's public opinion that will truly determine whether his legacy will be impacted. That's why he's spent a considerable amount of money on the same PR firm as Russell Brand, Prince Andrew, Danny Masterson, and Marilyn Manson. Their specialty is helping rapists get their lives back.

So please think of the long-term implications of breathing a sigh of relief and going back to posting about Good Omens, or signing a petition that gives Gaiman a way out of finally facing the consequences of his own actions.

Yes, none of these shows were 100% made by Gaiman. It sucks that this is going to affect people other than him. But maybe he shouldn't have chosen to sexually abuse at least 5 women and very likely more. In a just world, you fuck around and find out.

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maoam · 3 years ago

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WHY HINATA IS NOT A GOOD CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

I wanted to take a deeper look at Hinata’s character, considering there are a lot of claims about her out there, that she’s strong, that she’s kind, that she’s complex and relatable, that she’s the perfect woman and that she’s at least better than Sakura. I don’t really think so, and I’ll explain why. I’ll be focusing on canon, so no fillers or novels will be included in this post. I’ll say this as a warning, if you’re a fan of her character this probably won’t be something you’ll like. This will be tagged with the anti tags and put under read more so please do not complain if tumblr somehow puts this in the normal tags, it is not intentional. Also Sakura stans please don’t write lengthy comments about Sakura under this, I’m not a fan of her either and I’ll write about her later. Make your own post instead.

”HINATA IS STRONG AND THE BEST KUNOICHI”

Hinata is generally really bad as a shinobi and I’m not sure where the claims that she is strong come from. Hinata's entire character revolves around her being weak. This could have been fine if she actually developed, or if she found some other area for herself, yet she's mediocre at best and a waste of panels at worst, because she never becomes good or strong at anything. She’s not only physically weak from start to finish, but she’s also the equivalent of a damsel in distress. Everytime Hinata attempts to do something, she ends up failing, getting beaten up and having to be saved. She lost to her sister who is five years younger than her, which is what marked her as a failure in her clan. She tried to fight Neji in the chunin exams and ended up coughing up blood and losing her consciousness, and Naruto had to beat Neji for her. After Kabuto heals her fully, she spends the rest of part 1 either sleeping or missing in action. Very underwhelming.

If this had been only the beginning, it would have maybe been fine, but it’s a reoccuring pattern with her character. She throws herself in front of Pain, managing to do nothing but get one-paneled and almost killed. Even at the start of the war she had to be saved by Naruto. She tried to run to Naruto and tripped over a rock. Actually, she’s so weak she got Neji killed, when he had to jump in front of her so she wouldn’t get impaled. Why is she even in the front lines when she can’t fight? Even in Naruto the Last movie she had to be saved multiple times. In Boruto the movie she is still useless and reckless, leaving her daughter’s side to help Naruto, ending up defeated and having to be healed by Sakura once again.

I can’t say she’s mentally strong either. She has the personality of someone who hates conflict and tries to avoid it as best as they can, to the point of agreeing with others on everything, as Neji pointed out. Even without him saying it out loud, most of Hinata’s moments that aren’t her thinking about Naruto are her doing exactly this. This is not the personality of someone who is strong mentally. It’s the personality of someone who is too weak to have their own mind, someone who will go with the flow and is easily led and convinced. It can be dangerous the more you think about it. Hinata is also the bystander who never stands up for Naruto despite liking and admiring him. If she’s a compassionate girl, why isn’t she showing this by reaching out to Naruto and befriending him? Why doesn’t she show he’s not alone? Why is she only drawing inspiration from him? I don’t normally watch fillers, but there was one filler scene unrelated to Hinata where this girl says if you only look at the loser and do nothing, you aren’t much better than the oppressors, which probably wasn’t meant to be a call out for Hinata, but ended up being so anyway. Another thing that’s annoying is how she is berating herself often, yet doing nothing, it comes off as self-pity. Even in the Last movie, she is talking about how she must be a bad sister for knitting a scarf when her sister is in danger. Then why are you doing it and not stopping? Of course everytime this happens Naruto must cheer her up because she just can’t stop moping around and doing something herself.

Aside from all this, from the very beginning Hinata’s honor needed to be defended by Naruto because she couldn’t stand up for herself. Of course, after Naruto’s words she did stood up for a moment, and that was good, but it should have been a wake up call which altered her course. Instead, she kept doing the same she always did. If we take the Last movie into consideration, she’s still not strong enough to do anything even about her crush on Naruto. She needs genjutsu and Sakura to do the work for her. So even when it comes to the only thing she cares about 90 % of the time, which is Naruto-kun, she can’t do anything about it. That’s really sad.

”HINATA IS KIND AND SELFLESS”

There’s one mistake I see people make often, and that’s assuming characters that are quiet and shy are automatically kind. I wouldn’t say Hinata is as kind as the fandom makes her out to be. She simply comes off that way because you don’t really see her have her own opinions or disagree with the other characters. Hinata’s shyness on the other hand is most of the time a fetishized quirk to appeal to certain subset of fans. Her shyness doesn’t stop her from taking exams or hanging around Shino and Kiba, or talking to characters other than Naruto. She also has enough attitude to rub Neji’s status as a house slave in his face during their match, but because she stutters Naruto-kun every five minutes she’s supposedly kind. Kindness is shown through actions, not through standing around and stuttering. For comparison, we see Ino befriend an unpopular kid like Sakura, and give her confidence. That’s an act of kindness. Did Hinata ever cared about helping the branch members in any way? No.

She's supposedly "kind" but like I mentioned before she never shows this kindness by standing up for Naruto, or reaching out to him. She simply stares at him behind a tree and draws inspiration from his suffering. The only time she can actually stand up is to selfishly confess her love and die. She even said she felt like being selfish, and like I said she knew there was nothing she could do, she was told she’d only be in the way. She came there only to confess and commit suicide. This actually reminds me of another anime where this female character, after being unable to receive a male character’s love killed herself in front of him and said ”now you’ll never forget me”.

In the end, she cares about nothing but her own hormonal urges. Hinata tried to help Naruto cheat to pass an exam at the risk of disqualifying her whole team. This is the first individual action we see her character take. Did she consider Shino and Kiba during that moment? No, she didn’t even have an inner conflict on whether she should do this, whether it’s right towards her teammates. Even Naruto considers he might get Hinata, Sasuke and Sakura all in trouble if he accepts Hinata’s offer, which is why he doesn’t do it. Then when Hinata wonders if she can cheer for Naruto during his and Kiba’s match, she thinks Kiba might get mad. It’s more about how Kiba views her rather than whether she should cheer for Kiba because they are in the same team and should support each other. During the Pain attack, she left an injured shinobi, who couldn’t move, to go to Naruto, even when said shinobi told her she would only be in Naruto’s way. She didn’t try to save people, she simply wanted to confess and act in front of Naruto. This is about a threat to the entire village, which includes her comrades and her sister and she’s thinking only about her romantic feelings towards a guy she had maybe two conversations with and who barely remembers she exists. How is she better than Sakura? War arc really was the icing on the cake that Hinata’s character is only about Naruto. We should not forget the infamous ”Naruto-kun’s hand is so big… so manly...” is that really the right time to be thirsty? When Neji just died? Shikamaru mentions that he could help out Naruto as a right-hand man and then Hinata thinks “I-I want to be by Naruto-kun’s side too.” Then there’s of course the scene where she starts running to Naruto, leaving her post and teammates, even when Naruto is a mile away and already in the hands of medical ninjas, and even that ends up her pathetically tripping over a rock. Kiba has to remind her to use her byakugan because she is too busy gushing about Naruto. Eventually her only last line is “Naruto-kun”, when everyone is put into IT. It’s like a parody by this point. She doesn’t have any concern for her sister, her father, her teammates, Kurenai or her baby. It’s just “Naruto-kun” like it always is. Even in the Last movie, she is knitting a scarf for Naruto during the mission where they’re supposed to save her sister. Who brings a scarf on a mission? Why is she thinking about her romantic gift to Naruto so much she has to take it with her on a mission which focus is saving her sister? She even looks more devastated when Toneri tores the scarf apart than she ever does for Hanabi’s sake. It’s just silly and selfish.

”HINATA IS A COMPLEX CHARACTER”

Is she complex though? Her development goes from standing behind a tree looking at her crush she never talks to, to committing suicide for feelings that could never be reciprocated, to… waiting that a genjutsu and Sakura guilt trip Naruto enough for him to be with her? Like I already mentioned her character revolves entirely around Naruto, she has no hobbies or interests we know of aside from him. She has no motivations aside from being by Naruto’s side. She once had an interesting goal and backstory, but that was never fully explored, and it turned into her wanting Naruto’s attention and thinking about him. Her clan plot was irrelevant, she showed no interest in wanting to be a leader or even wanting to make things better for the branch members. It’s funny because immediately after the ending, no one cared about the Hyuuga branch and how the storyline was dropped and had no resolution. It was only when Hinata was being attacked for not showing to care did her fans start to over-analyze all the panels looking for the tiniest little clue that might hint at some changes.

It’s possible to be both shy, anxious and quiet and also to be strong, motivated and have interests and dreams. Hinata is never strong for herself, she’s only strong to be with Naruto, to die for Naruto, to motivate Naruto, to have Naruto look at her even for a moment. All the while Naruto doesn’t pay much attention to her unless she’s literally dying in front of him or she slapped him. Even when a big climax is happening, what’s on her mind is always her romantic feelings and her crush. I saw someone say if she were a male character, and she pulled this pointless sacrifice and theatrical confession in the final fight of an arc, she would’ve been universally mocked. Actually, I think even if it was Sakura who did this instead of Hinata the former would have been mocked, because their stans are unable to see the same flaws in their own fave as they see in the other girl. Naruto is a battle manga, characters are supposed to contribute to the defeat of the villain in some material way. The only reason people praise Hinata for what she did in the Pain arc is because they either pity her or because they’re men who think women killing themselves for a man is great because it boosts their ego.

I also notice many Hinata fans don’t notice the vanity in their own fandom. They call Hinata “princess”, ”heiress”, ”Konoha’s first lady” and draw fanart glorifying these concepts and how it makes Hinata good, because they like the superficial status, what they don’t care is the titles are unearned. I thought Hinata’s appeal was that she’s the underdog and a loser? Or maybe her real appeal is the idea of getting everything you want without doing much in order to get it? Another claim is that Hinata is the perfect woman, which you might see from men. This is what I might dislike the most. Men judge Hinata’s worth and whether she’s a good character based on what kind of woman they want and think is the right kind of woman. Hinata has big breasts, she’s submissive, she has no other interests than the man she likes, and she’s the only girl in her class who didn’t go for the popular guy. Many men hate Sakura, Ino and Karin for being fangirls but praise Hinata for being a fangirl. Basically to them if a character is a fangirl of the wrong guy, she’s a stupid slut. If she fangirls their self insert, she’s wife material and the ideal woman. If Sakura has to be saved, she’s useless. If Hinata tries to kill herself for Naruto, she’s ”so kind”. Rin is a one-dimensional character, but Hinata saying Naruto-kun for the 50th time is depth. Hinata is also claimed to be better than the other girls because she had more kids and thus is more ”fertile”. It’s like feminism never happened and we are back to the 16th century. Why are we judging women’s worth on how many kids they have and how much they can please a man?

I could also talk about how Studio Pierrot turned Hinata into a hentai bait for otakus, which also plays a part in her popularity, but I don’t think it’s necessary, so I will just offer this picture which speaks for itself.

END NOTE

Hinata is simply just a sexist stereotype, a shadow of a real woman, with not much depth, and who is certainly not better than Sakura either. Both of them are fangirls whose characters revolve around men. It’s wild to me how there are women who genuinely act like one must be a misogynist if they reject Hinata’s superficial, one-dimensional and boy crazy character. Her character itself is misogynist for crying out loud. And honestly, what does it say when even the creator himself assumes that Hinata is someone’s favorite character because he must like big boobs?

#anti hinata #anti hinata hyuga #mp #I'm not sure if I'm satisfied with this #but there's just not much to talk about when it comes to her character #it would just become repetitive

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with-love-from-hell · 3 years ago

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Vermillion Skies

{part Twenty}

Fandom: Obey me!

Genre: hurt, comfort, angst, some fluff,

Pairing: Mc x Lucifer (pre-established relationship)

Written for F!MC

WC: ~3.3k

Music Accompaniment

TRIGGER WARNING FOR ALL PARTS: graphic depictions of sexual assault / rape, gore, and violence.

CW: restrictive eating, depression, dissociation, anxiety, swearing, negative self-talk, self-blame, intrusive thoughts, passive suicidal ideation, references to past sexual violence, jealousy/romantic rivalry, use of misogynistic language

>> Though I have a Masters Degree in Psychology, I am not your therapist. If you have experienced any form of sexual abuse, assault, or harassment and are in need of help, please utilize the RAINN sexual assault hotline or online chat service, or find additional help using the NSVRC website. <<

This one is on the shorter side, just because I ran out of steam writing due the issues with pain, but still wanted to upload this week. I summarized quite a bit, in this one to provide context for the next part, which I assure you will be longer! I am hoping to have this shit with my tooth figured out tomorrow- as I have an appointment for a root canal (fingers crossed it fixes the pain). I will try to upload part 21 this weekend too, but if I dont, expect two parts next weekend to make up for it. Thank you all for being patient!!!

You can find any future parts by searching the tag #vermillion skies on my blog!

Read part 19 here

Read the Q&A post for parts 1-9 here!

Read the Q&A post for parts 10-15 here!

The week went by quicker than expected, and primarily without incident. Lucifer ensured your needs were met and that you were utilizing the accommodations that he helped set up, and he checked on your frequently throughout the day. The other brothers did their best to make you feel secure- especially Mammon and Beelzebub. Anywhere you went in the maze of the RAD hallways, they weren’t far. Beel always made sure to keep a few extra snacks on hand for you, ensuring that you would eat throughout the day. Mammon ensured that you were distracted, and got you to feel something other than fear of those around you. There were a few days that you felt the increasing presence of eyes following you as you moved through the halls of RAD with Barbatos glued to your side, but overall it really did to begin to feel...well...normal.

The only wrinkle in your journey to normalcy was that the brothers and angels began acting really strange around you. Asmo insisted on taking measurements of your body- even going so far as to shuck out a tape measure and wrap it around you without asking. Though he did feel quite terrible about it and profusely apologized, he told you he needed the measurements for another Model he was designing for. Mammon and Belphie were also spending an unusual amount of time together, and often moved to hide things when you would come into the room. Luke was also over much more than usual, and seemed to be trying out a lot of recipes, often shoving the food into Beelzebub’s mouth when you came in the room. All of their actions began troubling you- almost making it feel like they were purposefully excluding your from their lives.

Lucifer assured you that it was nothing to worry about, but you couldn’t help the intrusive thoughts worming their way through your head. What if they didn’t want you around anymore? Perhaps you are just a nuisance after all. The brothers would usually drop everything to spend time with you. It may just be you had lost your appeal...

You were just a useless whore, after all.

Try as you may to push the thoughts away, they only returned more forcefully, making your mood worsen as the days went on. It wasn’t until Friday morning that you really noticed the depressed feelings looming as you woke up to start your day how you normally would- a shower, brushing your teeth, tending to your hair and makeup, getting dressed, a light breakfast, followed by a moment to practice a mindfulness exercise taught to you by Barbatos as you awaited the rest of the brothers to get ready to leave for RAD. Usually, Lucifer would join you in the exercise, and you found comfort in him making an effort to heal with you...but today, he had woken up early, leaving you a note that his and most of his brother’s presence was requested at Diavolo’s castle and that he would not be at RAD until the end of the day. You felt your heart sink as you read the note, realizing that the only one accompanying you on your walk to school today would be Satan.

You lay in bed, well past the time you needed to wake up, trying (and failing) to hold back the tears as the thoughts of your worth to the brothers turned sour. Despite all they had done for you, your mind had convinced you that they had lost interest in you- that they were only seeing you as damaged and that they had gotten sick of tending to your needs. You felt like the responsibility of tending to you had just been thrown to Satan, and you were fully persuaded that he wanted nothing to do with you.

Only a few minutes before you and the brothers would have left early for class did a soft knock at the door stir you from your thoughts. You turned away, burying your face under the covers to hide your bloodshot eyes and reddened nose.

“Mc? Are you in here?” Satan cooed from the doorway as he slowly entered the room, cautious to the fact that you may be changing or getting out of the shower. He was shocked to see you still curled up in bed, figuring perhaps you weren’t feeling well today. But usually you were so diligent in letting them know if you were sick.

Satan approached the bed slowly, calling to you as he made his way there. You clutched the sheets tighter to your chest, trying your hardest not to produce more tears. As he reached the bed, he gently pressed a hand to your shoulder, producing a small wince from you as you didn’t expect the touch. “Hey- are you alright?”

You tense, but stay silent. How could you explain to him that you were physically fine, but mentally, all you wanted to do was curl up in a hole and lie there forever? You chewed on the skin of your lip, trying to think of what to say back when the back of his palm pressed against your forehead. The sudden movement made a small whimper escaped from your throat as you winced once more.

“Hmm...you are a bit warm. Are you feeling nauseated?”

Satan attempted to move the covers away from your face, but your reclusive response surprised him. Not able to think of what else to say, you just nod.

Satan hummed to himself in response, thinking back to what he had learned about human illnesses in his Human Anatomy and Physiology class. He made a mental note of the things to gather for you, and ensured you that he would return shortly. As he left the room in a hurried, but polite pace- he took out his DDD and texted the party-planning group chat.

Satan: Mc seems to be ill, so I will be skipping class with her. We maybe should consider postponing the ball- I'm not sure if she will be better by this evening.

Luke: After all the work we put into it? 🥺

Mammon: shaddup, Chihuahua. Who cares if the party is canceled? Mc's health matters more than some stupid party.

Luke: I'm not a Chihuahua!! 😡

Beelzebub: Agreed...though I was excited to try those cupcakes...🤤

Lucifer: what? She's ill?? How ill?

Lucifer: Is she okay??

Lucifer: Does she have a fever?

Lucifer: Is she nauseated or fatigued or clammy??

Belphie: Christ, Lucifer. Calm down

Satan: She seems fine- just a little warm and nauseous.

Satan: I think she'll be okay by the time of the party, but I just wanted to make sure you all knew.

Simeon: Solomon, you have some nausea medications that work for humans in the bathroom back at PH, right?

Solomon: Yeah.

Simeon: Good, I will bring them over. Be there soon, Satan.

Satan: 👍

Lucifer: Keep me updated on her condition. I will come home around noon to check on her.

Satan sighed and slid his phone back into his pocket. He took to making you some soothing mint tea and grabbed a few slices of the bread he had made yesterday. Along with a jar of honey and a bottle of water, he placed the items on a tray and carried them back up to your and Lucifer’s room.

You lay as he had left you, curled into yourself and the thick blankets atop the bed. Though now he noticed something else about you that he didn’t quite notice before.

Shes...crying?

Satan rushed over to the bed after delicately setting down the tray on the coffee table. He tried again to turn you over to see what was wrong, but the yelp you let out under his touch caused him to reel back in shock. He wasn’t so sure how to interact with you since the procedure, as you had been quite jumpy at the touch of anyone beforehand, but now it was heightened.

He took in a deep breath before speaking, trying his best to maintain his calm despite the worry at your depressed state. “Mc...What’s wrong?”

You shudder, the tears falling freely as you couldn’t hold them back anymore. The overwhelming self-loathing and fears of being abandoned by the ones you hold so dear took your all of the energy from you, and you just couldn’t keep them held back anymore.

After you failed to respond to his inquiry, Satan became more nervous. He pressed a hand to your calf, stroking it gently as your tears continued to fall. “Mc- it’s okay. I...I’m here.”

You suck in a terse breath and turn your eyes up to meet him. Satan felt his heart break at the sight of your dejected expression. You brushed your hands over your eyes to wipe away stray tears and moved to sit up- the action feeling as if it took three times as much effort as usual. You maintained your silence, pulling your knees up to your barely clothed chest, doing your best to hide as much of yourself with the blankets as possible.

Satan looked at you expectantly, his voice taking on a smooth tone as he spoke to you. “What’s going on with you, Mc? Talk to me.”

You suck in another breath, your breath stuttering slightly as you began to speak. “Is all of this shit too much?”

Satan looked at you quizzically. “W-what do you mean?”

You dropped your gaze. “Am I a burden to all of you?”

Satan blinked in surprise. “A burden?! Of course not!”

You looked unconvinced as more tears began to fall. Satan flushed, trying to think of what to say to make you believe his words. he knew it made sense that you felt this way, given all you'd gone through, but it hurt to have you finally acknowledge these feelings out loud.

“Mc, everything that’s happened has been a lot to handle for all of us...” he paused, taking in your trembling lips as he spoke. “But that doesn’t make you a burden. We’re all just glad you’re alive.”

You sigh, fiddling with the blankets as you hiccup back more tears. “But if it wasn’t for me, you all-”

“Stop.”

Satan had moved quickly, holding you by the shoulders before you could react. You stared at him with wide, glossy eyes. His grip was tight, but he ensured not to hurt you as he tried to drive home his words. “Mc, none of this was your fault. We are all living with trauma as a result of that other demons’ actions...and for what we've done. You are not to blame for anything.”

More tears welled behind your eyelids as you squeezed them shut, feeling the ache in your heart as you tried to convince yourself Satan was telling you the truth. He pulled you into his arms awkwardly, trying his best to be gentle in his movements. Rubbing his hands in circles around your upper back, he soothed your woe. The two of you stayed locked in the embrace while your tears slowed, up until Simeon’s voice broke the tension in the room.

“Is everything alright?” Simeon approached the bed in a hurry, clearly concerned over your wellbeing. He placed your hand in his, kissing your knuckles gently before running his fingers over them. Satan glared at him as he gave you the tender affection, feeling as if the action was slightly inappropriate.

You gave him a weak smile, tears sill staining your cheeks. “Yes...I’m feeling a bit better now.”

Simeon smiled, placing some antacids in your palm. You chewed them up despite not feeling all that ill, but finding it easier than explaining your lie. You spent the rest of the morning resting while Satan read in one of the arm chairs, and Simeon sat in the space next to you, running his hands through your hair. You still felt insecure despite their efforts, the back of your mind clinging to the fact that the other brothers were off doing something fun without you.

--------------------------

"Lucifer, ya can't leave just yet- we need your help setting up the rest of the decorations!" Mammon whined, seeing Lucifer continuously eyeing the clock. He had been so distracted ever since Satan alerted him of the fact that you weren't feeling well, waiting for the moment he could sprint back to the HOL and lay his fears to rest.

After Satan updated Lucifer on the fact that you feeling unwell was the result of your mental health rather than feeling physically ill, it made the others feel much better. They began working on the preparations for your party harder, ensuring that you would feel adored despite the insecurities that you held onto. Lucifer, however, was not comforted by your mental health being the cause of your inability to function today. He was glad you weren't physically ill, but it didn't relieve the guilt he felt at not noticing your deteriorating mood over the past few days. He wanted to ensure the party went well so you could feel reassured, but he was much more fixated on being at your side in this moment.

He paced around the ladder holding Mammon up, urging him to hurry in hanging the floral arrangements in the ballroom. Lucifer’s anxiety was visibly getting worse the longer it took for his brothers to finish setting everything up, and he cursed Simeon for leaving hurriedly with the promise of antacids. If it weren’t for him leaving first, Lucifer could have been back at home by now, holding you tight in his arms and offering soft words of reassurance.

“Pardon me, Lucifer.” Barbatos slid in front of his pacing path as he spoke. “If it is really such an urgent matter, you can suggest that Satan and Simeon bring Mc here. That way you wont have to leave your post for too long, and we can all take turns checking in on her. Asmodeus had said he mistakenly left some materials behind this morning, so Simeon can grab them on their way over.”

Lucifer’s eyes widened with eagerness. “Yes- that’s a perfect idea!”

“How d’ya expect us to hide all this from her until this evenin’?” Mammon slid down off the ladder. “Wasn’t this s’posed to be a surprise?”

Barbatos nodded. “We can escort her right to the guest room where she and Lucifer will be staying. She wont need to go through the main hall.”

Before Barbatos was even done speaking, he had already texted the instructions to Simeon and Satan in the group chat, and requested they both retrieve Asmo’s requested items.

Lucifer tried to return his focus to overseeing the decorations, but found himself restless at the idea of being able to see you and ensure for himself you were okay. He demanded that Simeon take over his post when they return, and that Satan begin assisting where ever he is needed so that Lucifer could have a private moment with you.

Mammon did all that he could to tolerate Lucifer’s distractibility, but was getting increasingly frustrated with having to try to catch his attention numerous times to ask if something looked okay from the floor, or to hand him a few more nails for the décor. He knew that Lucifer was just concerned about you, but the fact that he became this difficult to work with with his anxiety was grating on him.

“Oi! Lucifer! I told ya 3 times now I need 2 more nails. Ain’t ya listenin?!” Mammon snapped, finally getting the eldest to turn toward him.

“Oh. My apologies, Mammon.” Lucifer turned to grab some nails from the box, but before he could turn and hand them to the 2nd eldest, the sound of the large castle doors creaking open caught his attention. Lucifer dropped the nails and hurried his way to the foyer, completely abandoning Mammon on the ladder.

“Oi!” Mammon shouted after him as he left the ball room, the doors slamming shut behind him. Mammon slumped, catching his head on his hands, now wanting to reside himself to continuously going up and down the ladder when he needed something.

-----------------------------------

Lucifer held your hand tightly as you made your way to your assigned guest bedroom. Satan had mumbled something on the way over about another retreat at the castle for the weekend, which was what had the brother’s attention all caught up over the past week. It eased your insecurity to know there was a purpose behind their odd behavior- but you still found it weird that they excluded only you from knowing about the retreat, whereas last time the only individuals who knew up until the last minute was the royals and Lucifer.

“Is there anything you need, Darling?” Lucifer cooed as he unlocked the door to the boudoir, where you were met with lavish gold and ruby adornments throughout the room. Black silk sheets lined the bed, and a bouquet of white Lilies sat upon the nightstand, their sweet scent filling the air. You were stunned into silence at the sight before you, not even processing the words Lucifer had spoken until you met his expecting eyes.

Lucifer chuckled at your awe-struck expression. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

You shook yourself out of your daze and nodded. “It is...but...why?”

Lucifer cocked his head at you. “Why what?”

You stumbled over your words, still trying to process the scene before you. “W-why is it set up like this? Aren’t we all just here for a retreat?”

Lucifer’s face reddened. “Do you think I went overboard with the décor to our bedchamber?”

You felt the guilt return to your chest, nestling deep within the crevices of your heart. “No! It’s really beautiful. I love it- I just didn’t know why you went through all this trouble for me.”

Lucifer blinked at you- shocked to hear such words fall from your lips. He squeezed your hand tighter and shook his head. “This? This was nothing. Besides, I would go to the ends of the earth for you, my love. Even if this is just a temporary stay, I want you to feel as if you are royalty...Because you are to me.”

You blushed and turn away, trying to think of something to say in response. You certainly didn’t think yourself deserving of special treatment, but it made you feel good knowing Lucifer had thought so highly of you. The guilt you felt for even assuming he had lost interest in you began nibbling at your innards like a hungry piranha- turning what was supposed to be a moment of sweetness into a bitter flavor as you swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Mc?” Lucifer called to you, cupping your cheek in his hands. “You look weary. Is everything alright?”

You blinked back tears that you didn’t realize had been forming. “Uh- yeah. I-I’m fine.”

He nodded, but was clearly unconvinced by your words. “Now then- is there anything I can get for you?”

You smiled weakly. “Nothing right now, thank you. I think I just need a moment to rest.”

Lucifer nodded and walked you over to the bed. Despite your insistence that he didn’t need to be there to tend to you, he tucked you in and snuggled up into bed along side you. He curled his body against yours, spooning you gently in silence. His soft breathing tickling the nape of your neck, and the feeling of his muscular arms wrapped around your waist provided a sense of security that you didn’t realize you needed. You yawned, scooting closer until his chest was flush against your back. Lucifer’s hand found yours and he hummed as he interlaced is fingers with yours, observing how small your hands were in comparison to his own. Within moments, you were fast asleep in the comfort of your lover’s arms.

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Part 21

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